 Re: New Character Maher Haganah
"....There he lived a peaceful life with his parents and younger brother Aaron. All this
changed however at the age of 13 when his village was attacked by a group of slavers, his mother hid him
and his brother Joshua in the forest nearby...."
Do you have more than one brother? This seems to indicate you do but then you have in a later section that 'your brother' is learning the ways of magic. Please explain the discrepency on this part of the post.
It would be nice to see a few more sentences (perhaps a paragraph) of how he was brought up while the family still existed.
After these changes this will be approved. |