[Hellblazer]

Once again I awake from my night mare, sweating and breathing heavily. I swear to all that is holly.

"Why are you still tourmanting me? Have I not paid enough Already?"

I remember the animals I have slaughter and drank their blood in rage and pain trying to rebuke Folian. I remember this small barbaric village I had found with my friend Gafeld, the few warriors guarding the village where no match for us mostly for Gafeld magic. I remember him trying to hold me back when I found where the women and children were hiding. So many death that day, so much blood on my hands, blood of innocent children some not older than my own they had killed or kidnapped. I exacted my revenge on that day but the whole inside me was not filled. It grew deeper and darker, still does today. The gift that I was given, probably by Folian, still comes to me with my deepest angers. I have even frightened one of my friend because of it. Curse golden eyes.

"I am so sorry Annalee"

I yell. I wish to be nothingness, to be close to my little family again. Maybe in the after life will I live with them an other life, an other story. I do not know, what is real? Is this my real life or did I die and revived by the Dragon. Is this my after life? My punishment for the atrocity I have done? I touch my scare on my right cheek and remember the arrow slicing through my skin. I remember the look on my father's face when the barbarian thrusted his sword out of his back. The way he looked at me when his knees touched the ground. I saw the barbarian lift his sword above his head and Yelled. So many pain they have brought me but nothing in comparison to what I have brought them. If all the warriors would have been in the village would have we succeeded? My pain confuses me and the sorrow blinds me. I long for her, for her to comeback and fill this whole that is my heart, but she never comes.

Sleep is getting hold of me again. I close my eye. Maybe this time I will rejoin her for good.