[Pseudonym]

// I think this is fairly PG //

One day there was a young swordsman who wanted more than anything to be the greatest fighter in all of Layonara. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in the Wild Surge one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly dwarf standing at the bar who had the reputation of being the doughtiest fighter in the West. The young swordsman took a place next to the oldtimer, Kobal Bluntaxe, bought him an ale and told him the story of his great ambition.

"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

Kobal looked him up and down and said, "Aye lad, show me your stuff."

The swordsman took out his sword and rattled off a few moves.

"Well, for one ting, you're holdin' your sword too high laddie. Hold it a little lower on da handle lad."

"Will that make me a better swordsman?" asked the young man.

"Sure will" replied Kobal. The young man did as he was told, whipped out his sword and did an amazing riposte that took the bow tie off the piano player sitting nearby.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said old Kobal. "Cut a notch out of your scabbard where the blade exits. That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better swordsman?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will" said the dwarf.

The young man took out his knife, cut a notch in the scabbard, stood up, drew his sword in a blur, then cut a cufflink off the piano player in an amazing move.

"Wow!" exclaimed the swordsman. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"

The old dwarf pointed to a large can in a corner of the inn.

"See that axle grease over there? Coat your sword with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the handle of his sword.

"No" said the grizzled old dwarf, "I mean smear it all over the sword, handle, blade and all."

"Will that make me a better swordsman?" asked the young man.

Kobal grinned, "No, but when Remi gets done playing the piano, he's gonna insert it where the sun don't shine and it won't hurt nearly as much if it's all greased!"