[Stug3]

I was just minding my own business...honest I was!

Why is it the mundane things that get me into trouble? When I go rushing in to a fight and expect to end up dead, which is the time for the obvious to happen. Why do the simplest things go so horribly wrong and produce the oddest outcomes that leave me wondering 'What the Hells?'

I was fishing in the lake of Glass (nothing odd there done it a thousand times) on a particularly nice afternoon. Nice wind, good sunshine and the fishing was amazing I had quite a haul when things got funny... (Not so much funny... Ha, ha...but funny weird) First the white stag that frequents that area (and which I could clearly see across the lake) Got all crazy and ran ALL the way around the lake to charge at me! Not looking to fight I jumped in the water and waded a ways out to get clear and give it time to cool off, thinking it would just wander off...Yeah..no. Instead it viciously assaulted my poor helpless pack, spreading all my stuff in a large area and then to add insult to injury it peed on my stuff! Apparently satisfied with itself and my humiliation it wandered back to the other side leaving me a bit befuddled and more than a bit angry...I don't think it was mating season...but I'm no Druid or Ranger. I waded back to shore and gathered up all my stuff, soaking in the lake what HE soaked first...

I went back to fishing, oh well no harm on foul. I'd plugged two, maybe three good size fish already. Lining up for the next shot I let fly and I'll be damned if that arrow didn't skip off the water and plug that stag...clean across the lake. That sucker keeled over deader than dead right on the spot, not as much as a peep. So I had venison for lunch...odd but not world altering.

After lunch I went back to fishing, I needed to smoke a lot of fish to replenish my traveling provisions and the venison just does not smoke as well, at least I think so. Like I said the fishing was amazing, just hauling in monster Gar and Catfish. I was smoking fish by the ton, when I heard the ruckus...
Coming out of the trees was a small band; an Elf, two Dwarves and what I can only guess to be a Half Giant judging by its size, too big for a Half Orc. They were really moving and making a ton of noise as they passed me in the shallows to my knees. Not so much as a word of warning...Because the next thing that blundered out of the trees was no less than four FULL SIZED GIANTS. Ya ever have that sinking feeling? Kind like you say to yourself..."Well this is it, been swell knowing you...see you on the other side" Yup this was one of them times, if not THE time. I thought I was in trouble with the Bear, or having problems with that arrow in my butt. Ahhh nope... The Minotaur's were a pretty hairy deal. Yeah?..no. This was indeed going to end badly on my part.

I was totally screwed, no...make that royally screwed. Standing knee deep in the lake with my pants rolled up and barely a shirt on, the only weapon handy is my bow (which I'm not the best with anyhow) and only three dozen fishing arrows in the quiver...what to do?

'Run you idiot' was my first thought...I might even have said it out loud, Hell I don't know. I was not that far from shore but them Giants was really irritated and covering a lot of ground and I was pretty sure we would all meet at my gear about the same time. Not such a good plan...I could swim further out but I'm not much of a swimmer and I figured my flailing and splashing would not only attract the attentions of the Giants, but with my luck awaken some long sleeping and terribly horrible monster from the depths of the lake. Four enraged Giants might not be enough...lets throw in a lake monster, just for laughs...

Ideas come at the strangest times...Time itself is kind of odd, put your hand on a hot stove for a second and it feels like its there for hours. Talk with a pretty girl for hours and it fells like a second...I had this flash of being on the Dragon Isles....Gorgons...

While fighting Gorgons Muhk was petrified and I ran right past him thinking he was a rock. If it fooled me it might work here too. Seeing as I had no way to petrify myself I had to think quickly. I dropped my bow and grabbed handfuls of mud from the lake bottom and began to smear it on my face and upper body. Anything that would stick above the surface when I sat down I covered in mud and some water plants I pulled up with it. Praying to any Gods who would listen and were NOT involved with my current predicament that I was well enough concealed, I sat down to wait...

Even as riled up as those giants were I guess the big smoky fire and three dozen fish were more than they could pass up. That mob skidded to a halt smack-dab in the middle of my camp and a riot just about erupted over the fish that were smoking. The chase was forgotten as soon as they spied my fish all lined up neat as you please over that low smoky fire. It didn't take long for the fish to disappear and even the pile of fish guts and remains got squabbled over. Once the food was gone there was nothing left to do except destroy the camp and scatter all my stuff to the hells and back... My pack for the second time that day was brutally assaulted and left for dead...Unlike the Stag the Giants not only scattered it but threw a lot of it in the lake. My armor and shield went into the drink. Helmet went one-way and my sword the other. The box of apples I had stashed away was devoured, they even ate the box it was in...and they even spent sometime skipping the cut gems I had across the surface of the lake, who would have thought Giants liked that kind of stuff? I did recover a few...only because they hit me instead of skipping into the deep water. One of the big oafs even dazed two of his cohorts with my gnomish lens...before it too went in the lake.
The best part was when one of them actually ate the Adepts Stone I had. The blast rocked the camp and even blew some of the weeds from my disguise, I almost laughed...then the pieces started to rain down all around, big hunks of Giant. The head splashed down nearby and floated face up with a rather shocked look still on its face and I almost laughed again. The others recovered pretty fast for having one of their number unexpectedly detonate and leave quite a large mess behind. It was not long after the explosion they apparently became bored... (I mean really, how could you top THAT?)...and wandered back the way they came. I waited a few more minutes just to be sure, and when I was I washed off the muck and weeds.

I spent the next hour or so trying to collect my stuff and see what I could find in the water. I got all the big items...armor, shield... I was not so lucky with most of the gems I'd just cut they were gone into the depths of the lake, payment for the fish I'd taken but would never eat.
Surprisingly my pack had survived the second unprovoked attack of the day and with a little mending was good to go. I thought about trying to recoup my losses on the fish and do a bit more but I decided someone or something was telling me to 'move along, nothing to see here'...kind of reminds me of the time the healers removed that arrow and the watch was trying to get the onlookers to 'move along'.....