Shadow

[Pseudonym]

GM Name: Shadow
Bioware Name: Funnypseudonym
Forum Name: Pseudonym
Real Name: Matt

What can I say about myself?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling sheer cliff walls, fighting ninjas, solving quantum theory conundrums and riding motorbikes withe the same derring-do of Arthur Fonzarelli. I occasionally re-configure computer algorithms for NASA on my lunch breaks, making their ablative shields more efficient in the area of heat retention and improving the orbital escape velocity propulsion methodology. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for up to three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and deific trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute sponge cakes in 20 minutes.

I am an expert in sandbagging, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. The glass of water I chivalrously gave to the daughter of an indigenous chief who watched me do battle (gasping so often - she became quite dry mouthed). I play cello and I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge for elderly citizens. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. I am as tall as a six foot two inch tree. Fashion critics worldwide swoon over my original pairings of fawn pants and white short sleeve collared shirts. I don't perspire.

I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the concert tickets. Last summer, I toured war-torn Basra with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat with a 99.95 average. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children and old folks trust me. I can hurl couch cushions at swift cats with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Testament (New and Old), War and Peace and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening in preparation for an intimate gathering of notables that I was hosting at 5pm. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. My vocabulary is as bad, as, like, whatever.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair, with my eyes open, knitting shawls for the underpriveleged. Whilst on vacation in Guinea-Bisseau, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I breed prize-winning molluscs. I grow on people like E. coli grows on room temperature Canadian beef. I am like a young boxer, the kind that has a hungry look ... the kind you get from not eating for a while.

I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. Though it may be a little too much information, I am as easy as the TV guide crossword. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery and I now have your character's fate in my hands!! Mwahahahahahahaaa!

Quests? I have been a PnP DM for 40 years (maybe a slight exaggeration, that would have made me -6 when I started) and my goal on each and every quest I have ever run is for the players to have fun. This can be for/through many reasons ... humour, discovery, good RP, believable immersion, a close-call bit of hack and slash, problem solving ... but at the end of the day, fun is my goal. I am also a master at creating quest atmosphere, theme and tension. Many players have remarked about my ability to create scenes which had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Friends comes on at 6.30 pm instead of 7:00.

Hope to see you on one of my quests soon!

[Pseudonym]

Reading a couple of the new GM's intros, I thought it prudent to actually write something sensible and relevant for those deciding whether to join one of my quests.

* Most of my quests are run in the AEST evenings though I will endeavour to run the odd one here and there on a weekend morning for the US evening players.

* Sign-Ups. Please use them ... I am not going to penalise anyone for turning up without having signed up or not turning up when they have popped their name down ... but it does make my life easier when I can plan and set-up a quest according to an accurate sign-up register.

* Actions have consequences. I don't mind killing off the entire party. Indeed, in real-life I am completely powerless and live under the thumb of a domineering wife and children ... a TPK is one of the few pleasures remaining to me. On rare occasion, if I am in a particularly good mood, I might allow one "they're only mostly dead and can be brought back with a good heal check" freebie raise dead .... but only one. Don't expect it.

* If you have your character emote something and I don't respond .. chances are I am not ignoring you due to a personal dislike, rather more likely I missed it in the flow of text across my screen. Please feel free to prompt and poke me through the DM channel. (eg. /dm Hey Pseudo, did you see I wanted to cross the river?) It comes up on my screen a different colour and usually gets more notice!

* I like dicebags

* I like creative RP.

* I like forum follow-up to quest events and outcomes.

* I am an old-school PnPer. You'd better wince when you a roll a 1.

* If in doubt, ask. I am the friendliest GM here (as determined by self-polling) and will always endeavour to be as helpful as I can.

* It is universally agreed I am hopeless with NWN mechanics. This is actually a benefit to you, it means you can feel free to suggest all manner of things not limited by NWN mechanics for consideration.

[Chazzler]

Actually, your initial post tells more of the truth about you I think

But seriously, keep up the good work. Your witty banter on the forums always cracks me up, and your quests are fun-fun-fun.

Even more seriously.. Do Not drink so much coffee