Shadow

[Pseudonym]

GM Name: Shadow
Bioware Name: Funnypseudonym
Forum Name: Pseudonym
Real Name: Matt

What can I say about myself?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling sheer cliff walls, fighting ninjas, solving quantum theory conundrums and riding motorbikes withe the same derring-do of Arthur Fonzarelli. I occasionally re-configure computer algorithms for NASA on my lunch breaks, making their ablative shields more efficient in the area of heat retention and improving the orbital escape velocity propulsion methodology. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for up to three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and deific trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute sponge cakes in 20 minutes.

I am an expert in sandbagging, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. The glass of water I chivalrously gave to the daughter of an indigenous chief who watched me do battle (gasping so often - she became quite dry mouthed). I play cello and I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge for elderly citizens. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Fashion critics worldwide swoon over my original pairings of fawn pants and white short sleeve collared shirts. I don't perspire.

I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the concert tickets. Last summer, I toured war-torn Basra with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat with a 99.95 average. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children and old folks trust me. I can hurl couch cushions at swift cats with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby , War and Peace and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening in preparation for an intimate gathering of notables that I was hosting at 5pm. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.

I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair, with my eyes open, knitting shawls for the underpriveleged. Whilst on vacation in Guinea-Bisseau, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I breed prize-winning molluscs.

I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery and I now have your character's fate in my hands!! Mwahahahahahahaaa!

Quests? I have been a PnP DM for 40 years (maybe a slight exaggeration, that would have made me -7 when I started) and my goal on each and every quest I have ever run is for the players to have fun. This can be for/through many reasons ... humour, discovery, good RP, believable immersion, a close-call bit of hack and slash, problem solving ... but at the end of the day, fun is my goal. If it is yours too ... check out one of my quests!