New Character ****EDITED**** (final?)

[Zergon]

Full Name: Zergon Yxirvain
Age: 125
Class(es): Wizard
Race: Dark Elf
Subrace:
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Deity:
Domains (if cleric):
Biography and Description:
Zergon Yxirvain, a tough Dark Elf who knows exactly who he is... while never knowing quite where he is going... nor does he care. He lets life take him where it will, day at a time. He never knew his father, and seldom got along with his mother. His father disapeared one night durring a raid and was never seen again. No one is really sure what happend. His mother never allowed him to be himself, causing severe rebelion in Zergon, and a drive to be only what is in his heart, and never what others want.
Zergon went to school like all of the other Dark Elves... yet he learned things much faster.
This drew the eyes of the wizard Gomeiran. Gomeiran went to Zergons mother and told her of this, and asked to take him on as his pupil, so he could teach him the ways of the archane.
Zergon studied long and hard growing up... as magic is what he wanted to do... he felt as if it was a part of him. He learned the cantrips in a few short years... but magic takes a lot longer than that to master...
Zergon is alway casting spells, and studying magic and nature. He loves the woods. Especially at night.
About his 100th birthday, Zergon left with a raiding party heading for the surface. Sword in hand he laughed as he thought of the caos and destruction and taking of life he had planned for above. Through the mouth of the cave he ran with his comrads, into the moonlit night, but as he emerged from the cave, he was lost and alone. He wasn't with the others anymore, and where was the cave? He was surrounded by whirling wind and lightning, and a male Dark Elf. A male he knew from a painting to be his father, stood in front of him. "I'm sorry" said the tall drow male. "I left you and your mother long ago, but hate for my race has pushed me far from them". "Everything they do just makes the world a harder place to live for everyone... including us". "Do you want to be with these foolish elves?".
"N...No father.." Zergon mumbled in unbelief.
"I will hide you as a stranger, my son, may no one know your true self" said his father, while casting a spell.
The tall dark elf vannished. "Zergon! What are you waiting for!" yelled Xantorath. "Get moving slime!". Zergon turned back to the caves, and ran deep into underdark. Confused and alone he sought out something to kill... something to ease the burden of what he had just seen.
Was his father right? What should he do?
Deep inside Zergon, all of the rage of all 100 years of life came out of him and he destroyed the walls of the cave as he ran.
He went home that night feeling strange.
The next morning he awoke and looked into the mirror. What had happened the night before?
Had he really seen his father or was he dreaming? He suddenly realized, looking into the glass that he had changed... his eyes were no longer red with hate... but green. His hair had taken a silver color. He liked what he saw. He left with not a word spoken to anyone, quickly from underdark.
Something changed in Zergon. He, couldn't put his finger on it, but he found himself hating his homeland and his people, and what they made him become. Striving to be only what he wanted he left his homeland and what was left of his family, and friends, who wouldn't recognize him anyway. He vowed to find his father.
Turning from Evil to follow his own desires not only made him an outcast, but made him strange.
Zergon loves to hunt, he loves the fight, nothing motivates him more, except a mental challenge.
Zergon will stop at nothing to figure out what makes something tick, how something works, or why something is the way it is. He has vowed to himself that he will never break a promise even if it means killing the person he made the promise to, in the case that they themselves try to stop him. This strange Drow, though hated by all, strives to become good, better, within himself, almost as if trying to regain what his race lost long ago.

[Andrios]

Hello.
This is a pretty good start but as a special race we need to know a bit more about Zergon. Also, what specifically caused the abrupt physical and mental change?
Thanks

[Zergon]

ok i edited it
how is that?

[Pankoki]

Alright, two things that need correcting in this bio.
First of all there are very few dragons in Layonara, as a matter of fact they can be counted in one's hand and they are beyond the cloud of doubt, extremely powerful. That what will become a level 1 character can stand to it at all, let alone gain its attention or even approach it is a bit too much, so please remove the dragon reference and supplant it with something suitable for a level 1 character.
Second of all, the whole divine intervention bit needs to be removed as well. This sort of outwards contact would not happen in such a direct manner. Change the motivations to something plausible and we're good.
You had something interesting going on with the Good aligned father. Perhaps that's a way to bring him to the surface. Just some ideas that could help.

[Zergon]

ok how about that?

[Pankoki]

Ahh goodie. Now the last thing before we can put the final stamp on this is for you to tell us what makes him a wizard. Wizardry is not something you stumble upon so it should be noted as a part of his development. Right now there's no indication of that. Thanks.

[Zergon]

okies
this is fun! i hope layonara is as fun as trying to get on it.

[Pankoki]

[approve]
Dandy... go have fun.