New Character Submission - Silvern Sonore

[Pa2ad0x]

Full name: Silvern Sonore
Age: 116
Classes: Ranger/Bard
Race: Moon Elf
Alignment: True Neutral
Deity: Folian S'pae


Physical Appearance:
Silvern is a Moon Elf standing at five foot tall at a hundred and forty pounds in weight, both tall and physically built for one belonging to this race. His hair is dark and black as the night. It is between short and mid way, barely reaching down past his ears. He has a face of sharp and angular features, handsome yet somehow dark. His eyes, too, are dark as that of the night. Piercing, deep, dark eyes that seem to show cunning and wisdom. However, even with all these 'dark' features, he is still able to maintain a charismatic and laid-back appearance when not serious.

Biography:
Silvern was born in the High Forest, north of the Greypeak Mountains. His mother and father, Lunariel and Elohim, were both rangers of the forest. As such, they trained him in the ways of the ranger, of the forest and the animals, the art of stealth and combat. He started his training to become a ranger at a very young age, gaining wisdom and knowledge of the various creatures of the forest and the art of moving silently and hearing and identifying sounds of the woods.

He was competent in all these things but his true passion, however, was for the bow and the arrow. Silvern was exceptionally dextrous, able to use light weapons such as daggers and short swords with such finesse that even an opponent with such strength was outmatched. But he excelled at the bow. His dexterity had allowed him to become exceptionally competent at it and as such, that was his weapon of choice.

When still in training at the young age of 56, Silvern came across a small temple in the forest dedicated to the deity Folian S'pae. At this site, he encountered an old ranger praying to a statue carved in the shape of a human-like body with a wolf's head holding a longbow. He asked "Who is this strange half-creature god that you pray to?" and the old ranger replied "Do not disrespect the Longstrider, Prince of Wolves to whom hundreds upon thousands of rangers choose as their deity!" The old ranger eyed the young Silvern and gave him a smirk, "Ah, you seem to serve the Prince of Wolves already although you do not even realize it yet." Incredulously Silvern asked "How so?" The old ranger laughed and said, "You carry a bow as your weapon of choice, followers of Folian S'pae are archers of insurmountable skill, you wear leather as do the clerics of Folian S'pae, and you seem to be a ranger, though not a full fledged one...Yes, you serve Folian S'pae whether you know it or not!" And that was how Silvern came to know who his deity was: Folian S'pae.

60 years have passed, now an experienced ranger for someone still quite young, Silvern goes out on hunting raids regularly for the heads of orcs and ogres alike in the forest. One day however, there were reports of an unusually huge number of ogres in the eastern regions, past the Forest's great lake. Silvern knew his parents were patrolling the area east where the reports were coming from. He knew his parents were skilled and yet he was worried, dread creeping up inside of him.

Eventually news came of a battle with the ogre band and reports of the casualties came flying in. Many rangers died, among those were his parents. In his rage and his fury, Silvern went off in search of the ogre band in hopes of avenging his mother and father. He searched day and night for weeks. One night, having finally found the ogre band (whos' numbers were greatly reduced), he came in silently but was noticed. He did not care, however, as all that was on his mind was revenge. He let loose his arrows but they seemed not to be affected by it. The ogres came in mercilessly, beating and slashing at him, he drew out his swords and tried to fight back but it was useless. His body was cut and torn, bruised and broken. Their clubs cracked his ribs and bones, their swords cut his skin and drew much blood. He lay beaten. He would die there.

Suddenly, the ogres started dropping like flies, one by one, arrow piercing the heads one after another. Opening his eyes, Silvern saw it was the old ranger he had met at the shrine of Folian S'pae. Having taken Silvern to his home, the old ranger inquired as to what he would do. Silvern decided he could not stay in the forest any longer, the sorrow and grief over losing his parents would be too great to stay here, where they once lived. He soon decided he needed to start anew, find his own path, and leave the forest.

The old ranger understood and saw the beginnings of great adventures in the young Silvern's life. He let Silvern rest at his home until he was sufficiently recovered and then bid him farewell. Silvern soon left the forest in search of a new life. His story was only just beginning.

Future: Silvern would one day, in his travels, come across a tavern in the middle of nowhere. In this tavern, he would meet a bard. This bard would sing and play with such beauty that it captivated Silvern. Silvern had always had an inner affinity to music and it's beauty, the language that expresses emotion like none other, the language without words. Seeing this bard would inspire him.

He would try to imitate the bard and learn to play music. After months of learning and practice, Silvern would play beautifully. He would then enter another tavern. Here, he would play music beautifully, just as the bard before him did...but it would lack something. The music the bard before him played, it warmed his soul and made him feel a feeling that could not be explained by words. But this, his own playing would do nothing for him nor for his listeners. He did not know what was wrong, he practiced and yet it would not be the same.

His frustration was evident to all in the room. Suddenly, a man at the side of the tavern would tell him he was a great "musician" and smile. Silvern would reply "I am no mere musician, I am a bard." The man would raise one eye brow in abit of surprise and say, "Truly..?" Silvern would continue to play again but it was not the same. "Stop," said the strange man, "You cannot call yourself a bard by doing that. You may have learned how to play and make music, but that is just what it is: music. True, a bard must be able to create music, but his music is nothing without his magic to accompany it. Yes, we have magic, the music is simply a way for that magic to be utilized, it is a form of the magic which you create."

Silvern stared at the man, "You are a bard..?" The man smiled, took Silvern's harp from him and played a song so beautiful and overwhelming with warmth and energy that it seemed to engulfe Silvern's very soul and make it burn. Gasping from the experience, Silvern asked "Will you teach me how?" The strange man laughed, "I can teach you the basics and the fundamentals of tapping into the weave with your music, but that is all. The rest you must find out for yourself."

And so Silvern learned to infuse magic with music but his progress as a bard was no where near complete.

Personality:
Silvern was raised with strict and dedicated parents. He was surrounded by grown-ups throughout his childhood, most of them being ranger friends of his father and mother as well as only having time for training and learning of the ways of a ranger, he soon grew very serious and seemed mature for his age.

But inside of him, Silvern still possessed some child-like qualities for he was still young after all. He was naturally very easy-going and mischievious but due to his training, could not act as such. Silvern has always been very calm and patient except in situations of much severity (such as the death of his parents) and if not for his chosen path of being a ranger, he would seem friendly, social, and almost out-going, although many would not know for they only see his roots as a ranger and the image associated with it, that of a lone wolf.

-Notes-
I'm planning to have the split at 12/8. If I change my mind I'll be sure to edit it.

[darkstorme]

Moved submission to its proper forum.

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

First and foremost, welcome to Layonara!

This is very well-written. However, there are a few things in the story that do not ring true.

• Silvern is responsible, calm, and hunts evildoers in the forest (more on that later), and was apparently raised by "strict and dedicated parents". I don't see support for the Chaotic aspect of his alignment in the biography as it stands.
• Silvern seems a bit too powerful for a 0th level character. Even the weakest of Layonaran ogres are capable of laying low a fifth level character in single combat. To say that he slays several before they arrive to beat him to death stretches credulity.
• The mentor - how will he be removed from the picture? If he was watching over Silvern, he can no longer do so.
• Finally, while the "future" section is great (and, with GM assistance, could even be RPed), one paragraph does not a bard make. If you wish the bard class approved on character creation, we will need to see a bit more development of that aspect of his character - remember, Bards are no mere musicians, but magic users who tap the Weave with music. As such, a dilettante harpist would never be a Bard.

As I said, the writing is excellent - once the points above are addressed, you should be good to go!

Thanks!

[Pa2ad0x]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Hi there!

First and foremost, welcome to Layonara!

This is very well-written. However, there are a few things in the story that do not ring true.

• Silvern is responsible, calm, and hunts evildoers in the forest (more on that later), and was apparently raised by "strict and dedicated parents". I don't see support for the Chaotic aspect of his alignment in the biography as it stands.
• Silvern seems a bit too powerful for a 0th level character. Even the weakest of Layonaran ogres are capable of laying low a fifth level character in single combat. To say that he slays several before they arrive to beat him to death stretches credulity.
• The mentor - how will he be removed from the picture? If he was watching over Silvern, he can no longer do so.
• Finally, while the "future" section is great (and, with GM assistance, could even be RPed), one paragraph does not a bard make. If you wish the bard class approved on character creation, we will need to see a bit more development of that aspect of his character - remember, Bards are no mere musicians, but magic users who tap the Weave with music. As such, a dilettante harpist would never be a Bard.

As I said, the writing is excellent - once the points above are addressed, you should be good to go!

Thanks!

-The first one about the alignment was honestly abit of a spur of the moment kind of thing for me. I guess Silvern can't really be called Chaotic Good and seeing nothing else that fitted him, I chose True Neutral instead. It seemed to be the most versatile alignment as it allows to do or not to do many things of the other alignments and still seem to stray on the gooder side of Good and Evil, which seems to fit his nature.

- Yes, I do kind of realize he seems abit too powerful! I guess I got too caught up in the writing and the moment ^^; (edited it, hopefully he doesn't kill anymore ogres with his l33t 0th lvl skills!)

- I am not too sure what you are asking of the mentor? Do you mean the old ranger? He was simply there at the time to rescue Silvern before he met his end to the ogre band. After that he would take Silvern back and heal him. He is not really much of a mentor as a friend or 'helper'.

- I thought about it and I expanded the future part of my post. Hopefully that should suffice but I admit I am quite new at this. I don't think I know too much about it or all the facts but hopefully I know enough!

[darkstorme]

Excellent.

Your character has been approved.

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