Character Submission - Dwila Naldukr

[Happydeadkitty]

Character: Dwila Naldukr
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Classes: Sorcerer/Fighter
Race: Shield Dwarf
Alignment: Lawful Neutral



Biography:

Dwila Naldukr (translated "fierce joy, honoured wall") is the only daughter out of seven children to Falerl & Belbryn Naldukr in the city of Pranzis.

Her father, Falerl, was a Dwarf-at-arms and a drill seargent for the city of Pranzis. A true Dwarf of the hammer.. also the shield, crossbow, axes (big and small) as well as a mastery of blunt objects and shouting. His expectations for his daughter Dwila were double that of his six sons.

Often she would be forced to mock drill with her six older brothers for hours on end. In many cases after the drills came the studies in tactics or basic battlefield smithing. She trained in them staunchly and obediently but always there was friction between she and her father.

Her innate magical gifts.

It had started when she was younger and had always been something Falerl had completely ignored. Her mother on the other hand, had always known Dwila had a special gift and encouraged Dwila to hone her magic in secret.

In her thirty ninth year her father could ignore it no more due to the increasing number of calamities.
For instance, he made her 14 throwing axes, beautifully crafted to look like an Eagles beak. When she threw them, however, they turned into large birds, which looked suspiciously like large Eagles, and flew away.
And there was the time he made her re-string his whole collection of crossbows. When he checked on her work the next morning, most crossbows were strung perfectly. There were, however, some serious issues as three crossbows had flowers growing from them,two crossbows had been strung with ribbon and a total of seven glowed suspiciously. Including his favorite!

He did his best to staunch her power with endless drilling in heavy armor but things came to a head when she started keeping "that bird".
A raven had shown up in the early spring and seemed to take a queer liking to Dwila. It cawed at all hours and thricefold he caught it sleeping on Dwilas headboard and damned if he knew how it had gotten in.

All through summer he tried to ignore Dwilas growing restlessness and the disruptive, chaotic behavior of the blackbird. It wasnt long before he realised he just couldnt give her the education she really needed. He knew nothing of magic. He knew only that he wanted her to be happy and so with mixed feelings he sat her down and told her he wished her to go.
He never told her why, it wasnt the Dwarven way, but she could see the sadness in her fathers eyes.
She bid her father and mother farewell, and marched nobly past her brothers who were in parade formation saluteing her. Laden with food for a time and a small amount of coin, she set out leaving her familys modest home in search of her own destiny.

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

This is a good start, and you've covered the role of her parents, but there are a few things that are still wanting in this submission.

First and foremost, I see nothing that justifies Dwila as a Gold Dwarf, as opposed to your average, everyday Shield Dwarf. Gold dwarves make up a very limited subset of the dwarven population, so a Gold Dwarf adventurer would be very unusual. As such, the justification for adventuring has to be more explicit. For example, why adventuring now? What drove her to leave? Did her parents object? Also, the justification for the Gold Dwarf subrace has to be more extensive.. Gold Dwarves are different from other dwarves - so how is Dwila an example of that race?

As a secondary issue, books would not, largely, feature in a sorcerer's training. Sorcerers do not have to memorize spells, or, in fact, learn anything in order to harness magic. They have an inborn talent that they need only practice to improve. Covering, briefly, how Dwila discovered this gift might build her character.

Overall, we just need more - where was she born? What's her personality like? Is she gruff and rough from growing up with six boys? Does she have any quirks? What does adventuring mean to her? Is she devout at all?

All of these questions can help flesh out a character (and a special subrace, at that) before they step into the world.

Thanks!

[Happydeadkitty]

Edited below.
Thank you!


HDK

[Rowana]

Could we see the proposed level split for this character? We have a minimum request of five levels in each class. Thank you!
~row

[Happydeadkitty]

I planned to have equal numbers in both classes. For example 10 fighter, 10 sorcerer.


HDK

[osxmallard]

Welcome to Layonara.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

You might want to look at LORE to learn about Layonara's lands, people and cities before logging your character in.