Layonara
Self Reminders
Advertise on Layonara
Layonara (nwn/sou/hotu-1.69)
Version 3.02.3
Threads: 33,477 • Posts: 234,100 • Gallery Images: 9,883 • Members: 8,193 • Online: 42 (Guests: 22)
Home Forums Gallery Classifieds Stores Donate
Go Back Layonara > The NWN Persistent World > Character Approvals
Layonara Fantasy Wear Shop Amazon
Calendar Search Today's Posts New Players Layonara Links Mark Forums Read Register

Character Approvals The characters on this board have been approved by a GM and may be played online, in the world.


Welcome to the Layonara forums!

Layonara is so much more than a game. We started off as a tabletop Dungeons and Dragons campaign more than a decade ago. Since then we have developed into a fantasy world with as much compelling and engrossing detail as you will find anywhere.

Our current showcase is a Neverwinter Nights version of Layonara, where our world comes to life in a finely polished persistent world which you can play free of charge. These forums are set up to support and accentuate our player's experiences, but it goes far beyond that.

After years of passionate effort, our world is so well developed, so detailed, so refined that any of the handbooks, maps, historical accounts, legends, descriptions of artifacts, creature reports, character biographies, short stories, novels, movies and original art which populate these forums can surely serve as resources or inspiration for your own fantasy endeavors, whatever they may be. And our world is endlessly evolving, so resources are frequently added and updated.

There are also years of sage advice and commentary on role-playing, gaming and online community development stored in these forums. If camaraderie is what you seek, we offer that too. Our community is as active and supportive as you're likely to find on the internet. In short, these forums are a resource for you to use for whatever purpose or project brought you here.

We're confident that you will find what you are looking for, and likely, substantially more.

Please be our guest and browse around the forums which are available to you. As you do, keep in mind that you are sampling only a portion of what Layonara has to offer. Membership in our community is free, and allows you to establish a Layonara identity to pose your questions and share your thoughts on the forums. When you join you'll also be able to communicate privately to other members (PMs), establish and respond to polls, upload and download content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So please. join our community today!
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-21-07, 08:52 AM #1
victormaia
Recruit
Characters

victormaia's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default New Character Submission - Alagos Basir Maethor

The history of Alagos now edited.

------

Full Name: Alagos Basir Maethor
Age: 130
Class: Ranger
Race: Elf
Gender: Male
Alignment: True Neutral
Deity: Folian S'pae
Description: Alagos has 1,75 m, blond hair, white skin with a gold shade.

The vocation of Alagos always went to try to find a road where the beings alive convivencem in harmony with the nature. For that reason, Alagos was interested in the beginnings of the deity Folian S'pae that it was worshipped by all his city. The Elven beauty is in small actions as those. To be a ranger is to be faithful the nature, to be free and to free. After his wife's death, Alagos received the call of the nature, that made to understand there were more things to they be resolved out from where lived. But he understood that nor everything can only be gotten with good ways. Being like this he decides as that will be asked the questions.


Biography:
The happiness in the heart of Alagos Basir Maethor was as big as the despair in the face of Lalinni when they met. The smile disappeared of the face of the elf as soon as he saw his wife with the torn clothes torn spotted of blood, with serious wounds. Nothing remained of the good mood of the elf. A day of sun was substituted by a storm in his heart. He held the elf and the two bent over in the street. She had run all the main street and it had sometimes fallen, grating the knees and if still hurting more. She faints close to the entrance of the city and Alagos runs desperate for help her.

- Lani... Laninni!!! - Alagos screams holding her in his arms trying wake up her.

Laninni wakes up and bewildered by the wounds and the tears didn't stop of to wet her face. She didn't get to raise the face to face her husband.

- What did happen, my love? - Alagos asked, more and more desperate.

She didn't answer. She just continued crying and sobbing. She sometimes emitted a sharp scream, full of agony as if something destroyed her inside. Other elves already began to surround the couple.

- Will you love me forever? - Laninni said.

- I will love until that the winds blow my life outside of my body... - He answered concerned.

- What did happen? - Alagos asks again.

- We were attacked. We were attacked. Them... The Orcs... they killed Rutinim and Dasvil.

Alagos lamented the friends' death. Other elven that heard the news also sighed deeply to the knowledge that two warriors so followers had died. However the elves didn't understand the fact of Orcs step in sacred soil Elven without they be sighted.

- At least you are alive. You escape. - Screeching said, hugging the wife with force.

- I didn't get! - She screamed of turn, trying to avoid his hug.

All were surprised with the action of Lalinni.

- How like this, my love? - Alagos asked, already waiting for the worst.

- They defiled me! - She said, still crying more and sobbing.

Angry and disgusted glances if they spread for the crowd. Screams of fury and requests of justice left all of the mouths that were not paralyzed of fright. Alagos was perplexed. He just looked amazement at his wife. Weak and powerless, Laninni falls unconscious. He could not stop imagining the hands of those pigs touching his wife. He kindly puts his wife in the ground and rose quickly, took out his sword and raised it in the air.

- Her honor will be avenged! - He screamed.

Many excited screams accompanied the screams of Alagos, but all were if ending as an imposing person opened passage for the crowd. Dantins approached the elf and he made to lower his sword.

- There won't be revenge, just justice. - The priest said, trying to avoid a disaster.

- But these filthy Orcs attacked my wife. They dared to play a daughter of Dregar. - Alagos said.

- Yes, but that will be corrected with justice and not with revenge. Didn't Broken Falls fall teach anything here to anybody? Don't they know that should be humble and to respect the justice? The criminals will be punished by the Elven laws, if they are Orcs. We cannot demand that all our desires are assisted. There won't be revenge, there will be justice.

Many of the elfs didn't agree with Dantins. And they were rioted when seeing the wife of somebody so loved in the community to be touched by Orcs. Even so most remained silent. They didn't know how to argue with the priest, nor they had courage. Dantins took the couple for the temple. Lalinni needed a medical cares. Alagos needed pieces of advice and of a friend. There they would find everything that was necessary for if they recover. Just the other day the two would proceed to find the Elven local guard...

However on that night the moon would be different for the youth couple. It was late for Laninni. She died before Dantis could arrive to her rooms. After happened, what remained of a gentile and benevolent elf got lost. Many years passed and nothing was discovered on the invasion to the Elven refuge in the Forest of Fog. Alagos felt that there was not more his place and it decided to look for those that made the great evil his long life. It was that Alagos didn't have doubt. He didn't care of having to pray for all the other gods of the Pantheon asking for forgiveness, he would put an end to those petulant creatures.

After nights wandering in search of Orcs, Alagos hears in his heart a call of the Mother-earth that made him to remind of his Real purpose and to remind of the sweet words that one day was said for his lovelly wife. Alagos continues behind interior peace and of a place where finally he could call home.


Last edited by victormaia : 09-22-07 at 08:33 PM.
victormaia is offline Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-07, 01:59 PM #2
darkstorme
Game Master
Characters

darkstorme's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 3,121
Thanks: 111
Thanked 717 Times in 504 Posts
Default Re: New Character Submission - Alagos Basir Maethor

Hi there!

This submission is under discussion - we'll get back to you shortly.

Thanks!
__________________
"Ed Gruberman, you have failed to grasp the wisdom of Tae-Kwon-Leap. Approach me that you may learn. Watch closely class. Boot to the head!"
*thwump*
"Ow! You booted me in the head!"
"You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. Few novices learn so much, so soon."
--The Frantics
darkstorme is offline Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to darkstorme For This Useful Post:
victormaia (09-21-07)
Old 09-21-07, 08:00 PM #3
victormaia
Recruit
Characters

victormaia's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: New Character Submission - Alagos Basir Maethor

Thank you.
I await for your notification!
See you soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkstorme View Post
Hi there!

This submission is under discussion - we'll get back to you shortly.

Thanks!
__________________
The eye of the enemy is moving.
victormaia is offline Reply With Quote

Old 09-22-07, 02:35 PM #4
darkstorme
Game Master
Characters

darkstorme's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 3,121
Thanks: 111
Thanked 717 Times in 504 Posts
Default Re: New Character Submission - Alagos Basir Maethor

Hi there!

Some excellent ideas and writing here, but a few issues that need to be addressed before Alagos can be approved.

First and foremost, the language. While such happenings are a peril associated with orc raids (indeed, most half-orcs come to be in this manner), we have to remind you that this is a family-friendly server. As such, you could replace "They raped me" with "They defiled me", and in other ways suggest, rather than declare, what she was forced to undergo.

That aside, I've only two other concerns. First, while LORE reference-linkAeridin is perfectly acceptable for a LORE reference-linkRanger to worship, it'd be highly unlikely that a ranger who believes so strongly in vengeance would follow the Lifegiver. Aeridin believes in healing the ailing, and never resorting to violence save as a last resort, or against the undead. You might want to look at LORE reference-linkFolian Sp'ae or LORE reference-linkKatia if you seek a Ranger-friendly deity.

Second, while the scene and the story are great, there's very little in Alagos' history describing how he became a ranger, or how he grew up. A bit more of his history would work wonders.

A few small things:
  • Vanavar was almost destroyed by Blood's forces, and those elves who made their home in the mountains were the Gray Elves, who wouldn't likely tolerate a Moon Elf among their number without extraordinary circumstances.
  • Why did Lalinni die of her injuries if there was a priest available?

These last are not crucial, but might be worth looking at.

Thanks!
__________________
"Ed Gruberman, you have failed to grasp the wisdom of Tae-Kwon-Leap. Approach me that you may learn. Watch closely class. Boot to the head!"
*thwump*
"Ow! You booted me in the head!"
"You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. Few novices learn so much, so soon."
--The Frantics
darkstorme is offline Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-07, 11:03 AM #5
darkstorme
Game Master
Characters

darkstorme's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 3,121
Thanks: 111
Thanked 717 Times in 504 Posts
Default Re: New Character Submission - Alagos Basir Maethor

This looks good. Just one thing I'd like to see changed ... you've proposed the basketball player of all elves here. As far as elves are concerned, he's practically a giant. Most elves are between four and a half feet and maybe five and a few inches, with only the tallest elves reaching five and a half feet. As it stands, 175 cm is around 5'9", so if you could knock off 10-20 cm off the height that would be great.

Pending height change, though, this is approved.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:
  • Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
  • Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
  • Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
  • Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Have fun!
__________________
"Ed Gruberman, you have failed to grasp the wisdom of Tae-Kwon-Leap. Approach me that you may learn. Watch closely class. Boot to the head!"
*thwump*
"Ow! You booted me in the head!"
"You are lucky, Ed Gruberman. Few novices learn so much, so soon."
--The Frantics
darkstorme is offline Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:48 PM.


© 2007 Layonara Studios, LLC All rights reserved. Layonara is a registered trademark and copyright of Daniel R. Scott.
Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions Of Use

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0