New Character Submission - Kurt Dio

[DU0]

Character: Kurt Dio
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Class: Rogue
Race: Tiefling
Alignment: Chaotic Good



Biography:

Born in an unknown location, the little black-skinned tiefling was already spending his very last moment with his parents. They, a couple of thieves who were part of a nomad group of bandits without honor know only as "Back Stabbers" wich travelled from town to town, striking as parasites, raiding roads and farms or streets by the night.
Looking at their little baby, both parents agreed that they didn't want such life for their son, and even if that was the path he'd choose in the future, it was still too dangerous to carry a newborn baby between such stealthy group.
They both decided to leave the little tiefling at a safe-looking home.
One day, travelling by the mountains, they found a strong-looking farm, and left the baby near the door. It wasn't so painful for them, as tieflings won't trust each others so much anyway.
The farmer's wife, who was already in the age of having children, found the baby by her door and decided to adopt him. Her husband, though, wasn't so happy about adopting a tiefling, since they are well-known stealthy creatures and could mean harm for them in just some years, but the woman insisted, arguing that he would be raised and be like a normal human children.
However, things turned out differently. The baby was named after his adoptive father, Kurtis Benizar Dio.

In fact, he firstly acted like a common human children, but just until his instincts awakened, when he turned 3. Since then, he were always playing with their parents by hiding stuff or himself, or stalking the animals of the farm. Nobody saw that it was much more than playing; he was actually training his senses and skills. Life was good until his adoptive mother felt sick and passed away. By that, he was already 5 years old, and he knew that his adoptive father didn't like him. The old farmer even blamed little Kurt for his wife's disease. In a rush, he ran away from home, across the mountains on the horizon. Even though his instincts were well-developed allowing him to travel through dangerous places unnoticed, he was still too young and too weak. After a week or so travelling alone, he was tired and hungry, and found a campment in a area near to where he was, known as Katherian. He decided to wait until everybody felt asleep and strike for food; however, he rushed so much that didn't even notice the slaves master lurking around. The man captured him and emprisoned him between the slaves. The slaves master was so evil that Kurt could even feel it when staring at his face. AS he was way too young, small and weak, nobody wanted to buy him as a slave, what angered the slaves master several times and caused him to injure the old boy.
But as his body got wounded, his anger against the man grew, ever larger and darker, until it consumed his soul completely. Through the nights, he secretly trained for years, getting ever stronger and quicker and deadly, until the day he felt that he was ready, by the age of 15.

One day he felt different. He felt strong, he felt a need never felt before, a need for blood, for revenge. Walking silently, armed with a single dagger wich he had stolen from a merchant weeks before, he navigated quietly from place to place, as a deadly shadow. As he walked, he felt shivers crossing his spine, his blood boiling, the adrenaline running free through his veins. Pure instinct. He silently knocked down every single creaure within his range, avoiding only the slaves, wich were like him. His prize was finally at reach; as he approached the slaves master barrack, he felt like justice incarnated. Justice not of his own, but for every single person who had suffered by his hands. He teared the barrack open with his bloodstained dagger and silently slipped beside the sleeping devil. Coup-de-grace. After he killed the man, he stopped for a while. He stared at the man's body, laying on the bed and thought to himself "what horrible thing I have done?". He didn't even hesitate about killing the man, but then, he wondered. He didn't want to do that again, unless he really needed, to proctect himself or the others. "Ohers who?" he thought. "The good ones" he answered to himself. No screams were heard by that night, except for the incontrolable howl of victory that was trapped inside his chest since ever, and those from the slaves he had set free by killing the slaves master. He collected everything he could from the camp and disappeared into the shade. The other ex-slaves all left the place as well, as soon as they got a chance.
Seeing the slaves, now from a distance, partying and enjoying their freedom made Kurt happy. Even being a shadow, he felt that he had to do what was right. May sound complicated, but for him, it made sense to use his skills for the good as there was already much evil to be fought in the world.

He now stalks around, most of the time walking among adventurers that need a shadow in trade of gold or goods. Even though he is a stealthy creature, he may become feral in combat, but driving his blood instincts to the good and right. His ends justify his means.

*sorry for the crappy English; I'm still learning it*

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

First and foremost, welcome to Layonara!

Unfortunately, I have to point out that you cannot, at this time, submit a Chaotic Neutral character.. You must have been in-game for at least two real-life months and have a character of tenth level or higher before you can submit for Chaotic Neutral.

Second, while it's perfectly acceptable for Kurt not to know who his birth parents are, we have to know, to prevent any familial complications (royalty, deity, nobility) in the future. So either an in-character or out-of-character statement indicating that his parents were none of the above is required.

Finally, for Tiefling characters, a bit of extra effort on the submission itself is expected. A more detailed character history, more information on how their Tiefling ancestry affects them, etcetera.

As a final small pointer, in many areas of Mistone, slavery is absolutely outlawed. Only in places of dubious morality like Kartherian will you find slavers openly plying their trade, so you might want to choose somewhere for Kurt to grow up where such a thing is possible, if you wish to stick to the "slave" story.

Thanks, and good luck!

[DU0]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Hi there!

First and foremost, welcome to Layonara!

Thanks for the welcome ^^

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Unfortunately, I have to point out that you cannot, at this time, submit a Chaotic Neutral character.. You must have been in-game for at least two real-life months and have a character of tenth level or higher before you can submit for Chaotic Neutral.

Well, I didn't know what to do after reading the alignment page, since it says in the Tiefling lore page that Tieflings must be Chaotic...

"Alignment: Any Chaotic, often Chaotic Evil. Player Tieflings must be Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral, however the rules for submitting a chaotic neutral character still apply (see Chaotic Neutral and Alignment Rules.)"

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Second, while it's perfectly acceptable for Kurt not to know who his birth parents are, we have to know, to prevent any familial complications (royalty, deity, nobility) in the future. So either an in-character or out-of-character statement indicating that his parents were none of the above is required.

Fixed.

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Finally, for Tiefling characters, a bit of extra effort on the submission itself is expected. A more detailed character history, more information on how their Tiefling ancestry affects them, etcetera.

Probably fixed.

Originally Posted by darkstorme

As a final small pointer, in many areas of Mistone, slavery is absolutely outlawed. Only in places of dubious morality like Kartherian will you find slavers openly plying their trade, so you might want to choose somewhere for Kurt to grow up where such a thing is possible, if you wish to stick to the "slave" story.

Ok, I think it will do it now

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Thanks, and good luck!

lol thank you again.

Hope I have covered everything. Can't wait to play online *-*

[darkstorme]

Hi again!

A Tiefling must be Chaotic. As a new player, this means your character must be Chaotic Good, if you wish to submit a Tiefling, given the alignment restrictions.

As for the submission itself... Tieflings are one of the more powerful subraces in the game. We require substantially more from Tiefling biographies. To give you an idea, here are some recently-approved Tiefling characters:

• Ogzughimmal
• Kadim Arshanavean
• Thrabian Whyss
• Chilo
• Zyethias Malvetnei

Looking at what they've done should give you an idea of what is expected of a Tiefling submission.

Thanks!

[DU0]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

A Tiefling must be Chaotic. As a new player, this means your character must be Chaotic Good, if you wish to submit a Tiefling, given the alignment restrictions.

Fixed.

Originally Posted by darkstorme

As for the submission itself... Tieflings are one of the more powerful subraces in the game. We require substantially more from Tiefling biographies.

Remade it all based on the old biografy. Hope it's enough now =/

*tired*

[darkstorme]

Hi again.

To start off with, this is a very compelling story. It is not, however, the story of a Chaotic Good individual. I understand where you're going with this submission - you wanted a Chaotic Neutral character, and are still thinking along those lines. Unfortunately, Chaotic alignments are the most highly restricted in Layonara, and Tieflings don't really have a lot of leeway.

As I see it, you have a few options.

1. Rewrite this submission to adhere to the principles of a Chaotic Good character and play him as Chaotic Good. (ie. no mass-murdering, no reveling in bloodshed)
2. Rewrite this submission to adhere to the principles of a Chaotic Good character with the understanding that you would eventually like to begin to RP him towards Chaotic Neutral, after maintaining a CDT and roleplaying him as Chaotic Good for a time.
3. If you toned down the murdering spree, you could also resubmit this character as a non-Tiefling, and take the True Neutral alignment you suggested earlier.
4. Shelve this character for the time being, and try a submission less fraught with restrictions. After two months and your character reaching level 10, you can resubmit this character as Chaotic Neutral, and go from there.

Let us know what you wish to do, and we'll try our best to work with you to get you in game.

[DU0]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

Rewrite this submission to adhere to the principles of a Chaotic Good character and play him as Chaotic Good. (ie. no mass-murdering, no reveling in bloodshed)

Well, I'll try to do it, even though it is the hell hard to make a Chaotic Good Tiefling, as they naturally tend to be evilish creatures, what is against the server rules at the present time in terms of character alignment.

I've made another change; hope it does it now.

It's been two days now and my weekend's already gone =(

[darkstorme]

This submission is under discussion - we'll get back to you ASAP. Sorry to keep you waiting.

[DU0]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

This submission is under discussion - we'll get back to you ASAP. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Thank you very much =/

[darkstorme]

Hi again.

While I understand how you feel (playing a Tiefling myself), this still doesn't sound like a Good character. While the second-to-last paragraph lends some support, his single-handed slaughter of the entire slaver party seems rather merciless (I assume he killed them in their sleep, else he'd never have been able to kill them all) when he could simply have freed the slaves, and saved his revenge for his taskmaster. I can see him killing the slavemaster remorselessly.. but to kill so many in such a bloodthirsty and dispassionate fashion is not the hallmark of a Good character.

As you said, Tieflings, on the whole, tend towards Evil alignments. Those who are Good are few and far between - but they are those who reject the call of their blood, and fight to do what is right and good despite it. This gives them a conflicted personality - but such a character would never give in to the bloodlust screaming deep in their bones; or if they did, they would be horrified at themselves afterwards and likely redouble their efforts.

As it stands, this is a prime example of a Chaotic Neutral character. As I said before, you can hang on to him until such time as you qualify to submit such a character, or you can re-write him further to be a Good person, struggling against his heritage and history to do what he feels is right.

You have a clear narrative voice, and a sense of the dramatic, so I'm sure you'll do very well here - but Kurt, as interesting and tormented a character as he may be, is not yet Good, and will need modification before he can be approved at this time.

As an addendum, he'd have to be a remarkably precocious five-year-old to recognize evil in a man's face - cruelty, certainly, but evil is somewhat more developed... and a five year old surviving around Katherian would be... remarkable.

Thanks!

Oh, as a postscript, it's Katherian, not Kartherian. My fault, I mistyped it earlier, and you took me at my word.

[DU0]

Changed the story again.

I really want to play this character.

lol and I bet you're appreciating the story :P

Took out the bloody rampage, even though I really liked that part x(
Hope it be Chaotic Good now ^^'

[darkstorme]

Thank you for all your hard work on this submission. Kurt's development is certainly going to be interesting to watch.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

If you still want to eventually pursue a Chaotic Neutral path with this character, that's fine, but for now make sure you stick strictly in the realm of CG and don't toe that line. Keep a good CDT for a month or two, and then resubmit for approval to move to CN. Of course, if you want to continue to play CG, that's fine too!

Have fun!