Melana Sky

Dalila · 09-23-07, 05:33 PM

Name: Melana Sky
Race: Human
Deity: None
Class: Fighter
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Age: 23

Melana grew up in a world of men. She lived in a small village outside of High Pass Fort. Her mother had died when she was young and she always hung out with her three older brothers. Her father did not let her learn how to fight because he wanted to protect her from falling in battle or being hurt. But after her father would go to sleep her oldest brother would take her out and teach her how to use the sword. When Melana was about 19 years old her brothers got called to defend the village from bandits. Melana stole her fathers armor and sword running out to defend as well. When she got out to where the battle was taking place she saw her three brothers. She started to run over to where they when but for some reason the rest of the army started to fall back. They thought it was a battle already lost. Her three brothers stayed out there to hold off the bandits but they were overtaken and killed. After she saw this she new she could not just let them get away with it. She called after the men that were retreating and begged them to return but they did not listen sence she was a women. Melana got angry and ran after the enamy killing a few of them. They quickly overpowered her. Melana looked into the eyes of the man that was just about to kill her when....he stoped. She looked past him to see why he was not killing her and it was her father. He had just killed the man. He taunted the other men to come after him and stop waisting their time on a woman. They knocked Melana out and went after her father. After about an hour she woke up and the battle was over. She searched for her father and when she found him he was badly wounded and she knew he was not going to make it. She was so angry that he never tought her how to fight better. She knew he would have been able to teach her more then enev her brother could. He died in her arms after telling her how he was sorry and they she should slways do what she thought was right and good. She regrets not being strong enough to save them and blames herself for their deaths so everything she does it so make herself stronger and defend the weak. She hates all authority because she also blames them for leaving her brothers to die. They retreated because they were afraid. She thinks authority is weak and not worthy of being defended since they did not defend her brothers.

darkstorme · 09-23-07, 06:02 PM

Hi, Dalia,

While this is a human fighter (and therefore, not desirous of nearly as much detail as a more complicated submission), a little more detail would be nice. Where did she grow up? Against whom did her brothers and father fall? (It can't have been Blood's forces; she'd've been 3 at the time.)

While her driving force (to become stronger) is good, I see little to support a Chaotic personality. What makes her Chaotic? (Disobeying her father is one thing, but being truly opposed to a structured view of the world is quite another.)

A little more detail, and Melana should be good to go.

Thanks!

Dalila · 09-23-07, 06:24 PM

Thanks for the ideas. I updated it. please let me know if you need more.

darkstorme · 09-24-07, 10:28 PM

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Your character has been approved.

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Some final notes on character creation:

Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
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