New Character Submission - Dorian Wilde

[Jupiter]

Character: Dorian Wilde
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Classes: Fighter
Race: Human
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Deity: Xeen


Biography:

Wine, women, song, and ruffled lace frills...these are the embodiment of everything important in Life's grand soiree!

Dark eyes gleaming with mischief, this slender, tall man cuts an elegant figure as he sweeps an elaborate bow with exaggerated flourish. Lean face accentuated with trimmed sidewhiskers and goatee, his complexion on the dark side, this scoundrel has the looks of a corsair!

Dorian Wilde (a fabricated name to veil the dreariness of his real name which is Caellan Blake) appears and acts like a genteel Nobleman "slumming" it on the road for adventure. His sophisticated airs and mannerisms reinforce his bravado persona, whilst the reality beneath this brassy veneer is much more rustic! He will claim that he is a Duke's Son on the run from familial obligations, but he is merely the errant Son of a local Innkeeper who was thrown out on his ear for his incessant posturing!

Instead of scrubbing the kitchen and wiping mugs, this self-proclaimed dandy would listen to the wild tales of travelling merchants and dream of finer things. His dour Father claimed his foolish musings came from his Mother's side due to her exotic blood. Dorian never knew her as she died in his infancy, being told only that she was a strange woman from some far desert place. He likes to believe she was an exiled Noble, but the truth of the matter is that she was but an escaped slave girl who his Father took in when travelling afar in his younger years as an ale and wine merchant.

One night a so-called aristocrat stopped in whilst having the wheels of his carriage changed. His affected mannerisms, his stylish sense of fashion, and the casual way in which his hand rested upon the slender guard of his rapier had a profound impact on the callow youth who stared in awe from between the stair's banisters...

Dorian's fabrications and effeminate ways often made him the victim of beatings at the hands of local boys. Durril, a retired soldier and resident blacksmith, took pity on the boy, seeing his determination to remain unchanged, and so took it upon himself to teach him methods of fighting. Dorian's not being particularly burly, the smith decided to focus more on agility and the use of lighter weapons, and was surprised at how swiftly the lad picked up on techniques, especially those connected with the rapier. Dorian came to view gentle Durril as a surrogate Father figure, and it was only in the patient smith's company that he dropped his affectations and showed just how vulnerable and alone he really was...

Several years later and Dorian has taken to the road with all the incomparable flair at his disposal, spinning intricate tales about him, and getting into all manner of mischief! Who knows? Perhaps one day his masques could become realised?

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

Let me say, first, that this is an interesting character concept, and you have a very enjoyable writing style. I'm sure Mr. Wilde doesn't mind the appropriation of his last name, and his character's first.

There are a few things that need to be addressed before "Dorian" is approved, however.

First, prestige classes aren't approved on submission - so Duelist has to go for now. You can resubmit for the class at a later date.

Second, while it's fine for "Dorian" not to know who his mother is, you have to tell us... or at the very least, indicate that she is neither noble, royal, or otherwise unusually powerful (legendary wizard, or whatnot.)

Finally, while a rogue can be many things (shameless self-promotion!), certain abilities come with the class: Evasion, Sneak Attack, and a plethora of skills, including trap work, locks, etc. While a "roguish" mindset has certainly been established in Mr. Blake's case, there's little support for the skills and features of the class. A little bit about his training with a weapon and .. other things .. would go a long way towards providing that support.

As I said, a great start - once these points have been addressed, I'm sure Dorian Wilde, née Caellan Blake, will soon step into Hempstead a new man.

Thanks!

[Jupiter]

Originally Posted by darkstorme

There are a few things that need to be addressed before "Dorian" is approved, however.

First, prestige classes aren't approved on submission - so Duelist has to go for now. You can resubmit for the class at a later date.

Second, while it's fine for "Dorian" not to know who his mother is, you have to tell us... or at the very least, indicate that she is neither noble, royal, or otherwise unusually powerful (legendary wizard, or whatnot.)

Finally, while a rogue can be many things (shameless self-promotion!), certain abilities come with the class: Evasion, Sneak Attack, and a plethora of skills, including trap work, locks, etc. While a "roguish" mindset has certainly been established in Mr. Blake's case, there's little support for the skills and features of the class. A little bit about his training with a weapon and .. other things .. would go a long way towards providing that support.

Thankyou for the positive feedback Darkstorme!

I've edited my original submission, making note of the Mother's humble origins and removed the Duelist prestige class for now. I also read the brilliant rogue can be many things post and decided that perhaps Dorian's environment wasn't wholly conducive to his being a Rogue, so changed his original Class to Fighter. This new class is reflected hopefully within the extended biography where I tried to give both motivation and method as to his acquiring Fighter skills.

This is my first ever character on Layonara so I hope I've properly edited the submission as requested. I look forward to what appears to be a wonderful RP community!

[jrizz]

As a fighter class this submission works well. Thank you for the extra work.

Your character has been approved.

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