New Character Submission - Draglan Dag'rar

[Tigerr13]

Name: Draglan Dag'rar
Age: 88
Class: Barbarian
Race: Deep Dwarf(Gray Dwarf)
Alignment:True Neutral
Deity:N/A
Language: Common, Dwarven

Biography:

Draglan Dag'rar is 4'3" and 197 pounds and is absolutely repulsive. He grew up in a Gray Dwarven city where he learned to speak dwarven, he picked up dwarven by just generally living in the city for all his life. His parents also taught him a bit too. Son of Dregdurge, he was always a great warrior and has been raiding settlements of other dwarven colonies with his father since he just a boy. He had a knack for fighting ever since he first picked up a weapon and his been in almost all hunting, and raiding parties. Draglan is a coordinated, precise warrior. He strikes his blows with great precision and strikes hard. His father died at the age of 311 in front of Draglan when his father was struck by a large fireball cast by a hostile dark elf while they were raiding their city. The dark elves cut off a deal with Draglan's kin when it wasn't convenient for them, so Draglan and his large raiding party that also consisted of his father set out to destroy the dark elves. The dwarves raid was unsuccessful and Draglan's father was killed in the battle. Out of the 347 dwarves that conducted the raid only 79 came back alive. Draglan's father was killed by a dark elf that goes by the name of Rareer Graysnake, mother of Rerok Graysnake. Rerok was very young at the time and Draglan was considerably young at the time so he thought nothing of the dead dwarf. Draglan has always remembered that time, however, and would do everything in his power to avenge his dead father.

When Draglan was a bit older, about 68, he attended another large raid on a gold dwarf encampment on the surface with about 250 other dwarves from his city. The raid was said to go smoothly and precisely as the gold dwarves were not the greatest of warriors. Little did they realize that the gold dwarves had an alliance with a large elven encampment close by that they traded with and lived peacefully with. The raid continued on as planned. When they reached the gold dwarf city they had their minds set on stealing the abundance of raw materials that they had in their possession. The raid then commenced, Draglan's company of deep dwarves were humiliating the gold dwarves with their pristine skill and cuning for war, until one gold dwarf lit a signal fire. The gold dwarves then fought valiantly until their help arrived. Although not as skilled as the deep dwarves in war and fighting they fought with heart and the elves arrived to aid their friends. The deep dwarves were now starting to dwindle as their superior numbers and ferocity was no match to the elvish numbers and wisdom. Draglan fought as hard as he possibly could against the new enemy but they simply had too many, being sliced across chest with an enchanted elvish blade he scampered off while the last of his kin fought to the death. He was yelling "RETREAT!" as he held his chest with his left arm and his war axe in his right arm but none of his kin could escape, they were being slaughtered by the relentless elves. A couple of hours later, sitting under a tree and in a bush, he did not hear the battle ensuing after waking up from a needed rest. Getting up quickly, he hurt his chest as he forgot he was wounded. He used the tree line to get back to the gold dwarf city and saw nothing, only his dead kin and elves and gold dwarves celebrating. He then knew that he was the only survivor, this raid was a complete bust. Almost like a re-run of the raid he attended as a young adult when his father died.

Draglan now lives on the surface because he does not want to bare going home to humiliation and dishonour. He raids small goblin camps and such to earn money and still holds a grudge with dark elves and gold dwarves, he rarely talks to other folk but will when it is convenient for him. He just does what he can to get by on the surface. Some give him attitude for being associated with his former kin and some do not care. All in all Draglan does not care what others think of him. He just cares and looks out for himself taking any jobs he can muster to earn true to at least have a room at the local inn. He lives a hard life now but nothing a barbarian can't handle. He mostly carries out bounties for the captains of towns on attacking infestations such as goblins, kobolds and the like. This is what keeps him alive. His saying is "Another day, another job." He just awaits the job that will make him rich so he can purchase a house of his own and try to at least be like all the other folk.

Ever since living 20 some odd years on the surface his perspective of things has changed, he is not as reckless as before but will not stand down to a fight. He is a tough, warrior, a force to be reckoned with. He is not easily tempered and enjoys a drink at the pub quite a bit, in fact, most of his time is at the pub now. He also has trouble getting used to the light, it hurts him to move around in the sun but thinks he will eventually be free of his sensitivity to light. One thing he can't stand is how he cannot find a female of his kind that will actually look at him. He is too repulsive to bare looking at for more then 10 seconds. One dwarven lady called him the accident of an orc and skunk. She said he looked as horrible as an orc and as smelly as a skunk. This didn't really phase him because he could care less about names, but it is, quite hard to find a female friend on the surface for him and he gets lonely from time to time. He really is hated by the general population but does not care so long as he is breathing and getting richer. He takes a precise and passionate hate towards dark elves though, for killing his father and double crossing him. He takes with him still, his deep dwarven mentality, to take what he wants and protect it with his life. What he wants is usually large stockpiles of raw materials from other dwarven camps and/or cities.

Overall, Draglan generally just cares for himself and his self advance in the world, he does not care much for others and does things that will propel him in the right direction not thinking much of the consequences that it may have on others. He does assist others in adventures but only if it is convenient to him or there is something in it for him. Draglan eventually wants to purchase a home in Prantz so that he can live somewhere dominted by his kind. He feels he will finally fit in once he becomes part of that society. Everywhere else he is either targeted by racial slurs and at most kicked out of and he just wants to be somewhere where he can be a part of without being judged or kicked out.

As of late, Draglan took a mysterious job from a shadowy fellow to enter the Brech mountains to search for odd happenings. He did so, and on his way, encountered the not uncommon yeti. A few days later as he ventured deeper he was attacked by a werewolf. He fended off the werewolf and managed to kill it, just barely. The creatures fell on it's side and then turned into a small child. Draglan, bewildered by such an oddity had his guard down, when a large pack of yeti attacked him and captured him. He was held by the yeti for almost one entire week before he escaped. Draglan, broke his bonds, and fiercely defeated the yeti guarding him. He then used his skills he acquired in the deep to sneak out of the camp of yeti. He lived in the mountains for a year or so because he was lost in an unknown area where the yeti's brought him. You can say he was hermit, if you will. When he finally returned to Vehl the shadowy figured who sent him on the adventure was no where to be found. But, Draglan did not come back with out reward. He learned a new way of combat. A faster way of combat. Draglan, in combat now is fast, ruthless and without mercy, that year he spent in the mountains were the most barbaric of his life. Most of the time he was up there he was fighting, and hunting. He was going mad the longer he was up there and probably will not be the same, ever.

[minerva]

We expect substantially more detail when applying for a special subrace, esp one like Deep dwarf; on level with 3x what is written here. We need to know the details of the character and what makes him tick.

Nothing in this bio that reads TN to me.

At best it might be NE ;

the knack for raiding and killing ever since he first picked up a weapon

and

slaughtering the innocent gold dwarves

read EVIL to me.

You need to in you bio explain the thinking of an individual bred and raised to be evil to have a Neutral outlook on the world.

Edit accourdingly and it will be reviewed again

[Tigerr13]

*bump updated*

[Rowana]

Originally Posted by Tigerr13

Name: Draglan Dag'rar
Age: 88
Class: Barbarian
Race: Deep Dwarf(Gray Dwarf)
Alignment:True Neutral
Deity:N/A
Language: Common, Dwarven

I am not seeing much in this write up to support the Dwarven ear request. I'd love to see some elaboration on that portion of his request.

Originally Posted by Tigerr13

Biography:

Draglan Dag'rar is 4'3" and 197 pounds and is absolutely repulsive. Father of Dregdurge, he was always a great warrior and has been raiding settlements of other dwarven colonies with his father since he just a boy.

I'm not quite following the embolden portion. If you could elaborate or clarify that'd be great. It sort of reads as though he has a son named Dregdurge?

Overall, there is good reasoning behind why he's on the surface, but nothing about this write up really explains why he is Deep Dwarf over being just Dwarven. As Minerva mentioned we like to see some significant explanation with the sub-race requests, something that really shows why they are more then just taken for mechanical value.

The TN seems represented, but some additional input on his views of the world is always a nice touch.

To summarize we need to see the following:

• Additional fleshing out of the sub race- Deep Dwarf
• Some sort of explanation to support the request for Dwarven ear
• Clarity pertaining to "Father of Dregdurge..."

Thanks for your work on this, in advance.

~row

[Tigerr13]

Sorry, about "Father of Dregdurge", that was a typo. I mean his father was Dregdurge... I will fix that up as well as fix up your other requests.

[jrizz]

Sorry this is taking so long. Just one more question. I see all the support for a fighter but not much support for a barbarian. Can you address this?

[Tigerr13]

Well, I figured him being in many raids on other settlements and such would justify him being a barbarian. I am not sure if it does or not. If not, I will fix it or possibly switch the class.

EDIT: In regards to the dwarven ear, he lived in a deep dwarven city all his life and would have picked up dwarven, his parents also taught him a bit of dwarven.

EDIT: Alright, I have fixed the issues with his class. I explained how he became barbaric. I have also added some things within his bio about the dwarven ear, as well as his special sub class. Awaiting further documentation, and recommendations.

[jrizz]

I sent you a PM. You need more then a few weeks to become barbaric to the point of being a barbarian

[Tigerr13]

*bump* Changed the times spent in the mountains.

[jrizz]

thanks for the extra work. I am sure you will have great fun with this pc.
Your character has been approved.

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Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
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