Eslar Magnius

[Primalfear]

Characters name: Eslar Magnius
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 42
Class: Sorcerer
Alignment: NG
Deity: Prunilla
Language: Common, elf, dwarf
Height: 6'4
Eyes: Jeweled Hazel turning on the yellowish.
Hair: collar length, black with white streaks.

str 10
dext 12
con 14
wis 10
int 14
cha 16

Description:
6'4 feet
(Cha 16 at creation)

A tall tanned man with black hair and white streaks, of collar length, stands before you. A gentle charismatic smile sets upon his visage as he sees you approach him for the first time, greeting you with courteousness. There is a sense of power emanating from him that is hard to describe. As you look at him closer, you can see that he has a small scar over his right eyebrow, and on his left hand. If by chance, you are to see him sleeveless you would notice a fit man, and chiseled body.

Bio:

Eslar is a stout man, born as a farmer to two loving parents on 1388, in the outskirts of Paro on Corsain. Talus, Eslar farther, used to work the fields with his sons. They would sing, even if badly, to the lady of comfort as they worked the fields. It was their ways to communicate with her, either by song or simply by talking to her. There was of course, the usual temple visit and the donation of part of their crop in offering. However, to them, it was an everyday relationship. Therefore, as the time went, it became a source of comfort for Eslar, to talk or sing to his Goddess, making his brothers cringe at times. Even further down his life, he would often bless the earth he walked on or worked, by picking up a small amount in his hand and kissing it talking to Prunilla at the same time. It was something he had seen one day, from a passing cleric, and even though he was not, it is something he took to heart and kept doing.

His mother's name was Mara, not the most beautiful woman to have ever walked the lands, but to her husband and sons, she was the greatest. Mara was the local tutor, teaching young children how to read and write. At night, she would also read to Eslar and his younger brothers, the stories that were in the many books in his house, which was unusual to farmers alike. None were valuable, mostly history books, that Eslar's grandfather had brought back such many "treasure" before retiring from his adventurous life as a warrior, who had spent his life wandering the world. The stories marveled Eslar so much that he would often reenact the battles with his two younger brothers, Marcus and Tallen. Each time a different one, wither he be the Hero or the villain, they would always be either about Dwarves or Elves. Of course, this would be only after the tutoring lessons of his mother and his farm chores done. Therefore, throughout his childhood, Eslar grew fond of the tales and the little bits of culture he had read or been read to by his mother. He would always try to learn more and was often found listening to the storytellers in the near by town, telling the stories of elves and dwarves heroes alike, when he was going with his father to sell the seasons crop. This would remain throughout his life a deep desire and something he would work for further down his path.

Eslar was raised to be loyal and dedicated to those he cared about. Two years after the great darkness settled, both of his parents died of sickness due to the cold that had now spread throughout the lands. He was only sixteen when he was force to take over the work of the farm and try to bring food on the table for both his brothers. However, despite these hard times that the dark ages had brought, joy was never far from the household. Just next to his farm, lived a family of farmers who had a beautiful young daughter named Jewel of Glenhaven. For a few years, Eslar and Jewel spent as much time as they could until one day it was clear for them that they were to spend their lives together.

He doesn't remember much of the invaision it self, much more of the after math which had came from it. The devastation to the lands, the struggeling towns and settlements; the lack of food for the masses that had not the previlege to be able to nourish themselves from their own crops. He was only four years old when the forces of blood devastated the island. Except for one day in particualr, he was around 6 years old; his father had taken him out in the woods, looking for a plant to brew as a concoction to feed one of the sheep that had fallen ill. They had walked a day before coming within range of where the plant grew and they rested for the night. It was about midday the next morning, the sun was clouded over and it was raining, all the ingredients for a very messy stroll, when his father pinned him down under him, covering Eslar mouth with his hand. He still, to this day, remembers the fear he saw on his father face, as he whispered to his son to remain silent and not to move. Eslar managed to turn his head just enough to see a pitfend attacking some local band of resistance to eager for their own good. The fight was horrific; none of them were left even in any state to be recognized. They staid lying down in the ground many hours after the battle was over, in the hopes the pitfend would not find them. Luckily, for them, it had passed his way. They found the plant not to far from where the carnage had happened, Eslar's father asking him to stay away so he would not see the bodies of the men. For many years after that, Eslar had vivid nightmare of that day, but as the invasion force were defeated, and peace was now back into the lands, the fears slowly subsided to the hopes and dream of the small child that he was.

One night when he was 20 years old, Eslar woke up by the sound of his sheep's bleating in their enclave. He shook Jewel up and ran out side with his stick. When he got to them, he saw a pack of wolves attacking them. Instinctively he jumped in the mist and as one of the wolves manage to bite the stick out of Eslar's hand a jolt of electricity came rushing out of them killing the wolf on the spot. As Jewel and his two brothers were rushing to his aid, they were all shock to have seen his deed and to see the other wolves flee from the seen. That day Eslar understood he had a connection to the weave and since then worked to harness the power that was in him.

Through out the years, after that day, and when ever he had a free moment on his time, he would try to recall what had happened. He was using an empty water bucket as practice target, trying to remember what he thought, what he felt at the moment. It took a long time for him to be able to relive that moment and have the bucket fizz with the jolt of electricity. Proud of having been able to redo it, he kept trying everyday several hours a day when his farm chores permitted it. After some time, he discovered new powers that he worked hard to master and be able to call at the whim of the thought. At night when his wife would read a book, he would be reading it with her, letting his hand glow producing the light needed for them to read. It was not always easy to learn to control these powers, but still he kept practicing. He knew these were only the beginning and that, as he would move on with the rest of his life, he would discover other powers that had lain dormant in him for all these years. However, he found joy whenever he was able to use them in a way or another.

Unfortunately, the darkness meant that 3 years after the wolves attacked, the food stock for the sheep's and their harvest died out. They were forced to abandon the farm and sell the reaming sheep. He then placed his two younger brothers in the care of relatives and set out with Jewel to travel the world looking for ways to bring their families the money to help them subsist. They both could have staid for the rebuilding efforts. However, the need of their family pressed on their mind more than rebuilding simple housing. They wanted to bring them more than what was offered by the already stretched charities, from those helping with the rebuilding. There was also the fact that they knew, that if they went and sent back money to their own families, it would be less they would have taken away from other more needing families.

Throughout the next years that they have spent roaming the lands; Eslar and Jewel were often accompanied by elves or dwarfs, sometimes, although rarely, even both at the same time, which led to some interesting times. Remembering the bantering around a warm fire camp, drinking some ale festive from a good fight that day, he would hold his wife lovingly listening and laughing as they saw their companions arguing playfully. Avid learner and seeker of knowledge, not to forget his childhood amazement, Eslar made it a purpose to learn both languages.

It is also during his first trip with Jewel, that Eslar stumbled on an injured Panther. It was trap in a poacher's trap and was furiously trying to escape, furthering her injuries. Jewel had managed to calm the beast but it still would not let her get close. Therefore, for the next few hours, Eslar patiently and very slowly made his way closer. Talking very calmly to the panther. Jewel wasn't far away in case he needed her to calm it again. However, the panther seemed calmer with Eslar, and Eslar managed to set her free. She couldn't move much after the time she had spent in the trap, giving the time Eslar needed to tend to her wounds. A few days later, when she was in a good enough state to be on her own, Eslar and Jewel decided it was time for them to move on, but the panther kept following them in the distance. At one point, when Eslar got into a fight with a walking mushroom, the panther came to aid him. Jewel understood that the panther had decided to keep with Eslar, and after some thoughts, Eslar named her Mara, in memory of his mother.

In the beginning of their long journey, the companions were of short stay. Often for as long as moving from one town to another, doing the odd job here and there. For that, Eslar took his time to listen and make as many associations to the words as he could. His curiosity was spiked by one of the history books his grandfather had brought back. In there was stories of great nations and tribes, fighting together as one, for the betterment of their kin, or fighting to rout out evil from the lands. He especially liked the stories about the dwarves and the elves, and took some time to read about them as much as his own training and chores would permit it. Now that he was actually traveling with dwarves and elves, rarely at the same time mind you, he was now able to give more into his curiosity talking with them and to his desire to learn their language. In Eslar's mind, there was no better way to learn the cultures of these people, than to be able to learn it the way it was meant to be, in their own tongue. Where all the richness and fullness of their spirit could be transmitted with ease. However since these companions were only of short stay, it was rather hard to do, and the most he would get were by the association of words to different items.

Five years into Eslar and Jewel journey, they were walking through the forest of Rael's kingdom. It was a foggy day, the air filled with mist. They walked very slowly their sense about them, listening to their surroundings for any noises that would betray danger. Jewel was in her armor, sword drawn and shield at the ready, Eslar had his staff held in both hands, walking slowly not seeing much in the distance. As they were walking, Eslar stumbled on something and fell flat on his face, having Jewel burst out in giggles to regain her calm very shortly remembering where they were. Cursing softly Eslar got up, looked at what he had tripped over, and noticed the body of an Elf stripped of his possessions. He reached down feeling for a pulse but noticed he was dead. The moment became tense as they soon discovered there was a few other bodies, each of them badly beaten and unfortunately dead, left in the same ways as the first, dispossessed of any valuables. As they kept going, searching for any survivor, they heard a faint moan in the fog. It took them some time but they managed to find the source of the moaning.

It was a young elf compared to all the others, severely beaten and left for dead. Eslar tended to his most urgent wounds with the little care he could provide and when it was safe, they moved the young elf to a safer location. Being mostly unconscious or in a delirious state, the young elf only spoke in elven, to the disarray of the couple, but having been able to picked up a few words here and there from their previous companions, Eslar was able to give him water and food, when he heard the words spoken by the elf. After several days of tending to him, he finally woke up. He was still under the shock of what had happened for the next few days, and hardly spoke a word, none the less Eslar and Jewel tended to him, helping him to nourish himself, changing the bandages and making sure the attar that Eslar had made to the elf broken leg, was still holding. A week had passed since they had found him and the elf regained strength and was slightly a bit more confident about the intentions of Eslar and his wife, Jewel started to ask him questions about what had happened.

Then young elf presented himself as Tylan Cailowillnyam and explained that he was out hunting for the first time with a group of hunters, when a group of bandits, superior in strength and number, ambushed them. They fought valiantly and hold their own for a while, even himself had gotten his first kill, but it was in vain, as they were finally over run and he was beaten senseless. He did not know what had happened to his companions and Eslar proceeded to tell him how they had both found him. The elf was extremely saddened to hear the news, as his father was in the mist of his companions and the last of his family.

The next few weeks were long ones, as Eslar kept tending to the young elf wounds and Jewel keeping watch over them, bringing back what they needed for food, water and fire. Eslar noticed in that time that Tylan was very posed and calm for his age. Of course, Eslar knew that the elf was still older than he was, but he looked much younger than his deceased companion did, that it surprised even him. Therefore, to pass time as they were waiting for him to be able to walk again, Eslar and Tylan spent many hours a day talking. Eslar would tell him of his past, his family, the stories he had read as a child, anything that would keep Tylan's mind off his injuries and the death of his father. The day came where Tylan was able to stand and walk again and it was now the time for them to go back on their path. Having nothing left to go back to, the reason of his hunt not being accomplished either, Tylan asked them if he could travel with them. He needed to bring back to his people proof of his deed and hunts. This was the reason he was out with a few hunters, which were there to guide him and teach him the trade. Eslar and Jewel were pleased to have the young elf with them, as they were without traveling companions for a few months. Therefore, they made their way up toward the north, to find Tylan worthiness in the eyes of his clan.

Tylan was very adept with his bow, which helped them greatly to subsist in the wilderness, but as the time passed, they all grew fonder of each other, and even though, Tylan had hunted some great beast with them, he did not feel compelled to go back to his people right away. Tylan had also noted the interest that Eslar showed to his culture and people, even to his language. Therefore, while they were traveling, Tylan would slowly teach him some more words, as posed as an elf can be and all of them were about nature itself. He never really like the dreadful accent Eslar had, and often laughed with Jewel, at how some of them came out of Eslar's mouth, but he admired the tenacity and the will to learn that Eslar showed and so he kept teaching him. For seven years, they would travel together, hunting and sharing all that they had. Throughout that time, Tylan had showed Eslar enough to be able to hold good conversations with him in Elven. Jewel on the other hand, even if she tried, was not able to learn but she was content to see the smiles it brought to Eslar, as he kept growing more knowledgeable of Tylan language and culture. One day they arrived at a small village in the northern part of Dregar. That day was the last one of their journey together. For a few weeks now, Tylan had grown restless to go back to his own village, the talks of his people pressing on him over the time. They had one last good meal together that day, and in the morning, they parted ways. Eslar and Jewel kept moving toward the north and Tylan now an accomplished hunter, headed back south to his people.

A few months passed of traveling where Eslar and Jewel reached a small village near Westoth where they met a golden dwarf and his brother. The village was the target of constant raids by a nomadic tribe of orcs, plundering their field stealing, their supplies and killing the few brave of the town that tried to stop them. In a desperate need, they hired outsiders to try to help them get rid of that orcish tribe. The dwarf, jolly and courageous was called Gudmir Stronghammer and his brother Vandar. They spent the next 5 years of their journey together, helping the people of the towns they passed through.

It was night about 2 years in their journeys together, sitting around the fire, listening to them banter about how many kills they had made that day against an other tribe of orcs, that Eslar asked them both for some Items in their own language. It was poorly phrased sentences and his accent was atrocious, but never the less he asked Vandar for another piece of meat, and Gudmir for more ale. He smiled at them when they looked at him with a sense of shock clearly visible on their faces and he explained that through the previous years, they had traveled with others of their kin. He had picked up words here and there, by looking at them speak and what they were getting after asking for the items. He also told them, that the books and stories he had read about their culture throughout childhood and early adulthood marveled him; and that it had given him the urge to learn their language, as he though that it was the best way to learn and maybe even live, partially what they were themselves living. He then asked them if they would do him the honor to teach them their language, explaining to them how much he loved to learn new things but also the ease it would bring him and his wife in the future.

At first, they were both reticent to teach him their mother tongue, but Eslar did not let up and whenever he felt their mood would be disposed, he came back and asked again. They had become very good friends, through battles. In addition, this was why they had stuck together after they had done their first task offered by that small village. They found themselves to be a very good team, and the friendship that had formed only made it clearer. Therefore, after many months of Eslar asking them to teach him, and Eslar being the persuasive type, with his manners and looks, Gudmir decided that it would not hurt him to be able to better communicate with his own kin in the future. If it was not to only have some peace on the subject. And beside, as a friend, how long could he refuse such a request, that proved a deep interest in his kin, from a man that would have bandaged their wounds so many time. His magic was growing, yes, but compared to their battle skills, it was still weak. Eslar acted more as the healer of their band. Bandaging their wounds, making the few healing potion he had learned to do on the travels. Anatomy aside, there was little difference for Eslar to heal the wounds of his friends from the wounds that his herd or even his family would have gotten over the years he was holding the farm together.

Gudmir at first, concentrated on teaching him the names of weapons, battle tactics, and food and ale, like any good dwarf of that name. It didn't take to long for Eslar to learn the basics of Dwarven and after some time, Gudmir decided to only speak dwarven to Eslar, leaving Vandar translate roughly to Jewel what was being said. Being that Vandar was a little bit more the prankster between the two brother, his translations often ended up being less than exact, and slightly making fun of the tutor and apprentice, Jewel giggling at the sight. Gudmir patience was often put to test and would revert to speaking common with Eslar, when he couldn't stand the butchering of his native tongue anymore. However, with the support of Jewel as he sometime got frustrated, Eslar gave it his best and long before they parted ways, he would be able to hold complex conversation with the two brothers, although Gudmir would ever be satisfied by his accent.

Their story ended sadly, One day as they were traveling the northern part of Dregar, they stumbled on the hunting ground of a horde of mountain giants. At first, they tried to sneak their way past, knowing that they wouldn't last too long against the whole hunting party. They almost managed to do so, when two giants spotted Vandar. They tried to make a run for it, but after some time they found themselves to be in a dead end and were forced to face the giants. Fortunately, for them, only two of hulky things had followed them, but it was still too much. After they managed to kill both giants, with painstaking effort; Gudmir, Eslar and Jewel, stared to each other and busted in laugher, their heart still pumping. What they had not yet noticed but soon discovered, was that Vandar had fallen and laid in his own pool of blood a few yards away, an arrow through the throat. Eslar rushed to him with his brother, to find him on his last breath, still joking about his misfortune, Eslar felt powerless as he saw there was nothing he could do for Vandar, and he stood holding Jewel in his arms, to comfort her, as they watched Vandar die in the arms of Gudmir. That night, after leaving the hunting grounds with his body, Gudmir decided it was time for him to return home. He had lost his only brother but also the will to adventure. That night, Jewel and Eslar talked by the fire they had set up after Gudmir had left. Recanting the events they had lived, the lands they had explored, the money sent back. They both agreed it was not yet time to go back home, there was still more to see, more to live. Therefore, they decided they would leave for the western continent as soon as the sun was up.

A total of 17 years had passed since Eslar and Jewel had abandoned their farm and sold their herd. They had now arrived to Mistone, ready to take on new challenges, to span their knowledge further than what they new. One day maybe, when they have the trues and the will, maybe they will return home, and rebuild the land of their families and be reunited with them once again.

[darkstorme]

Hi there, Primalfear - and an apology for the wait.

This is a good start to a submission - I just have a few questions and a few points that require expansion.

First, how does Eslar worship Prunilla? Obviously, as a farmer, he'd have reason to pray to Her, but to have a deity listed in a stat block implies a certain amount of devotion.

Second, some expansion on how he worked to harness his inborn abilities (discovered rather late in his life for sorcery, but that's neither here nor there) would be nice.

Third - is this "wife" that you keep mentioning intended to be another player character? (If so, when will they be submitted?)

Fourth (and this ties into the final point), you gloss over fifteen years roaming the lands. The farm dies, interestingly, nine years into the Dark Age, and then they set off into the darkness, presumably penniless, if they'd been working at keeping the farm alive until then. What happened?

Along those lines, we'll need to see significant expansion on his study of the languages asked for, even for one language. For both, I'd like to see a great deal more detail of both his travels and his studies.

Once you've expanded along these lines, post again to this thread.

Thanks!

[Primalfear]

Edited

As to the wife, yes a player is working on her. I can't give an exact date when she will submit Jewel, but hopefully it will be soon.

[darkstorme]

A few points here are under discussion. We'll be back to you as soon as possible. Thank you in advance for your patience!

[darkstorme]

Sorry for the delay, and a belated happy St. Paddy's Day!

While the story is much improved, there are still a few concerns.

First, the languages. While you've included greater detail, the overall plausibility of the circumstances under which he learns the languages has been determined to be... unlikely. A mismatched dwarven-elven pair, though made popular by Gimli and Legolas, is extremely unlikely. That by itself is implausible, but it is made still further by the fact that they, seemingly of their own volition, and despite speaking a common tongue (Common, in fact), begin teaching him the complex languages of their own race. Perhaps they like Eslar - from all your descriptions, he seems likable - but liking someone and telling them stories of your past battles is one thing. Sitting down with them and laboriously going over how to speak a language is quite another. If you were seeking a single language, and you expanded a little on the reasoning behind the lessons, this would need very little more to be approved. With both... we will still require more by way of justification. The teachers are in place, true, but why are they there, and why are they so willing (even eager!) to go to that much trouble?

Second, Corsain, and the time he chose to leave it. In 1392, when Eslar was 4, Corsain was invaded. In 1395, Corsain was liberated. (Eslar would have been 7.) In around 1399, a rebuilding effort truly began on Corsain, to recover from the damage caused by the invasion, occupation, and liberation. The recovery came to a sort-of close (though doubtless small rebuilding actions will continue for decades to come) in 1415. By these numbers, Eslar left in the middle of the rebuilding efforts. While he certainly could do that... what would drive him to leave when there was work to be done? Even if the farm had failed, hands were still needed for the greater efforts.

Finally, a series of small concerns:

• You mention in passing that his wife would read a book. Bear in mind that books were/are fantastically rare in Layonara, and a single bound book would cost more than your average farmer would earn in weeks. If they read books, then, how did they come by them? If they didn't have books, what activity did Eslar use Light for?
• His eyes. Topaz could be taken for a sort of light hazel - not quite yellow, but a sort-of jeweled tan. But chameleonic shifting to a dramatically different colour (purple) in response to his mood is not something that is either sorcerous or common (or, indeed, something that occurs at all) in human stock. Certainly, his eyes could darken (deeper brown/hazel, perhaps) with his mood - when a person wears a dark expression, the shape of their face can shadow their eyes. But a dramatic, explicit colour shift should either not occur, or will require justification.
• His age. If he were born in 1388, he'd be 42 now. Auspicious number, that.

Again, sorry for the wait, and I hope this helps! Post again to this thread when you've made your updates.

Thanks!

[Primalfear]

Edited.

Hope this time is the charm.

[Primalfear]

Added a bit more of his motivation to learn.

[Acacea]

Hey, really sorry for the wait on this, it is not our intention to drag this out - we do try to get characters in and playing as soon as possible. The problem in this case, as darkstorme has said, isn't the character itself, but the perks that are being requested with it. We're generally not too picky about one language ear on submission, but when people start requesting two it really starts getting examined to make sure players don't just decide "my character will be a polyglot so he can understand everyone" and then invent elaborate excuses to make it so. You should see how it is when people try to sneak in three, which is technically possible but difficult to justify

Please note that that is not intended to speak directly of your submission, but rather an explanation of why everything starts getting bogged down when languages are thrown into the pile. Characters are easier to let slide through, but the bonuses are not needed to play and there is no reason to make the work of other people less valid. Much like subraces, we want languages to be integral to a character, something that is a natural part of their story rather than something that would be cool, therefore we tacked on an explanation and then just kept adding more with each request.

Anyway, if you were trying for just elven, or just dwarven, it would be much easier. Unfortunately, the problem here is that we are not looking for more in length, but greater support, something that feels really tied to the character instead of added in, as I said. As it stands, the wacky mismatched pair seems a matter of convenience and actually doesn't help that much because it adds a few more points of implausibility in the mix on top of the already existing difficulty. In other words, it's like someone questioned a part, saying, "That's unusual, how did this come about?" and the answer being even more unusual.

"Gnomish, interesting, you don't see a lot of elves wishing to learn the language, how did that happen?"

"You see, there came a gnome to Voltrex that was selling his latest invention in Sadinia..."

"But what was a gnome doing in Voltrex before the continent opened? And the natural advancements of the elves don't often look kindly on the technological inventions of the gnomes..."

"Well, he was hired to do something, but they met and the elf helped and he agreed in exchange to..."

I digress! (As usual.) The point is, when you add something odd to justify something that would have only taken a reasonable amount of revision/addition, you start having to add even more on because then you need to explain how the other weird thing occurred. In this case, the loveable elf/dwarf duo is odd, them teaching each other their language is unusual, and then both turning around to teach a human that already spoke Common and therefore didn't need anything to communicate with them is weird again.

I'm not at all saying it is impossible, far from it - weird things make great stories. I'm saying that when you add weird things, they pretty much require those stories. We're really not looking for more length, because more of the same is still a collection of unusual events that just happened to all let him learn both languages. His grandfather brought back lots of books. They traveled with lots of elves and dwarves, sometimes together and they bantered together at the fire during the Dark Age. They met a wacky dwarf/elf dynamic duo that while reluctant at first, eventually agreed to teach him.

Any one of these things is interesting and makes for a good character point, something unusual that would have a story and add to the character's life. Instead, with nothing really explaining any of them, they all serve to exist for nothing else than to make sure the languages appear in the submission. It leaves the impression that it is just a lot of trying to "tack on" explanations instead of having the whole thing really be a part of the character. Much like the gnome example, the explanation only serves to give more questions - why was everyone so friendly in the dark ages, when paranoia and banditry was rampant, to the point where elves and dwarves bantered playfully at the fireside and two were even best of friends and traveling partners, teaching one another and the human? Etc...

Since the issue isn't the character but rather the extras being requested, everyone is a lot pickier. I'm really sorry for the wait that this has caused, but we'd really like to see something that's more woven into the actual character rather than being just 'explanations.' All of them are rather strange, so how does it affect the character? His wife? Perhaps we could hear more about the strange pair and their travels with him, to make them more than just vehicles for language. I hope this reply is not too frustrating, and that you can understand why we try to ensure extra languages are essential to a character on submission... from the other angle, it can often be frustrating for an elf to find that his elite language is practically the Common tongue as every average joe speaks it like it's not a big deal, and for clannish defenders of the dwarves to realize humans and elves understand them when they speak to their kin.

It is not impossible, but it should be integral. I hope there are at least some ideas on how to make it a big part of the character, instead of just dealing a blow to your motivation to play him. On the bright side, if things are made more important and impacting, you may find that you actually ended up with a character with more depth than you expected as a result. As always, if there are any questions on advice or suggestions, everyone is here to answer...

[Primalfear]

Err I'll work on this again, but just to mention, The dwarf and elf didn't teach each other, they just decided (each on his own) that They would teach Eslar.

[Primalfear]

Edits:

aded a bit more to his past, and how he got the desire to learn.
Removed the duo of dwarfs-elfs.
Expended a bit on how he met with the elfs, and how he met the dwarfs and hopefully giving enough into the reasoning.

[Primalfear]

Thought I should add how Eslar met with his animal companion.

[Primalfear]

Any feedback about my changes please?

[darkstorme]

Bumping a submission delays its evaluation. Rest assured, we are in the process of review.

[Acacea]

Man, sorry again... thanks for all the work with the ears, we'll take that.

So, we have Eslar here speaking both languages, coming from the islands and wandering the world and all that, but though I am loathe to ask anything more of you after all that, I can't help but ask, what happened to the invasion darkstorme mentioned a few posts back? You know, the island being completely sacked and invaded by demons when he was 4, occupied until he was 7 with just points of terrified refugees hiding away in the mountains and such places? We see why he didn't stick around for the rebuilding, but what about what they were rebuilding for? The reason I ask is because as you are paired with Jewel, I ask the same things of her, so any changes to her bio would affect yours as well. Her idyllic childhood brought the lack of mention of the invasion again to the forefront, so if hers is altered to fit in with history, yours might be affected as well. So we'll approve these as a pair so that the two will still click together. Thanks.

[Primalfear]

Edited