New Chracter Submission- Suds Alebrew

[Krug]

Character: Suds Alebrew
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Classes: Bard
Race: Dwarf
Subrace: None
Alignment: Nuetral Good
Diety: None
Additional tongues requested: Elven
Hieght: 4'0 ft.
Wieght: 200 lbs.

Looks: Ah this Dwarf stand 4'0 ft. tall and wieghs 200 lbs. He has two rosy red cheeks and always has a smile on his face. He had to add a couple more notches on his belt, obviously due to his rather large beer belly.

Bio: Ah the Clan of Alebrew. A clan of Dwarfs that has lived in the Hammerbound Peaks for generations. The Clan of Alebrew isn't just any clan of dwarves, oh no the Clan of Alebrew is famouse for thier thier Ale and thier Brewmaster. Some say they make the best Ale in all of Layonara. (of course most of the people who say that are Alebrew clanmembers). However this clan if very dedicated to thier craft. Seeking only the finest ingredients. Traveling all over Layonara for the freshest and best tasting ingredients for thier brews. Traveling to the darkest depths and the highest peaks for thier craft.

For generations Clan Alebrew knew they had the best brew and never thought to ever change this sacred recipes. However, in the last few generations it was believed that maybe they should seek out more recipes to even improve thier craft farther. So one child out of each generation was chosen to travel the lands in search of a better recipe.

Suds was just one of those few chosen to travel out of thier home in the Hammerbound Peaks and to search to improve thier sacred craft and most treasured sacred recipe.

Ah, Suds was a fun loving, but also a hard working dwarf. However, not matter the hard work he could always seem to be in a good mood. Some say he was just messed up in the head, im mean a dwarf who is always singing, whoever heard of such a things. Others say maybe it was the singing that kept this dwarf in such a good mood. Yes, it seems no matter what Suds was doing either is voice or a simple hum could be heard. A delightful voice for a dwarf. He was always popular at the meadhall when it came for a round of drinking songs. His voice was different from the others, but it couldn't be explained. His voice encouraged people lifted thier soles, while other just made them want anouther tankard of ale. Suds didnt sing thou.

Nope he had to do more. Learning the basics of fighting with the axe and shield. And of course the art of brewing. He wasn't pick to for the honor of seeking out for a better recipe at birth. No, Suds had to earn this honor. Not only did this seeker have to be able to be skilled in the art of brewing, but also in the skills of fighting (I mean he couldnt get killed otherwise he was a waste).

Suds was alittle strange, has he stepped on the battlefield for practice he usually hummed the dwarven battle song of Clan Alebrew. It helped him fight he said. And it helped the others too. They couldn't explain it usually when they did group training. His group fought way better then normal, and the other groups fought worse. The only common facture was Suds. Most of clan just thought he was lucky and that that the humming didn't have anything to deal with the rest.

So, as other dwarfs his age were haveing fun Suds was practing. He wanted the honor of being that dwarf. All the while singing make his job seem easier . He wanted to be the one to represent Clan Alebrew. So he pracitced with his axe and he practice his craft of brewing.

Time moved on and the day of Choosing began. Suds was almost 30 by this time. He was chosen of 5 to begin the final test. The Final test was in three parts.

Part 1. Knowledge of the World Around.

Suds knew this wasn't his strongest point. He had to remember the tales of the older members of Clan Alebrew. Remembering thier stories reciting them back in his head has he answered. He had to remember the basic map of Milstone. Tales of dangerous places, and town he could stop and get help. He did well on his first test. For his rememberance of the old stories came in handy.

Part 2. Knowledge of the Craft.

This is where Suds really shined getting everything correct and he produced the sweetest tasting ale of the five. This was his strong point and he easily one with ease.

Part 3. Knowledge of Fighting.

Suds had practice long and hard with his axe and shield. He competed well. And lucky or not the humming seem to help his favor and it turned out well. He wasn't the most skilled of the five but was close.


The Elder of Clan Alebrew got together over a sacred keg of Ale. They conversed until the moon came up and then back down again. After the long wait Suds was chosen to seek out to help improve the legendary ale recipe.

Suds kissed his mother and father goodbye. He then filled his backpack and grabbed his walking stick and hat and headed out on the lands of Milstone to find a better brew.

Suds walked along the path searching high and low of any tales that could help him with his quest. He traveled several moons when he ran across an Elven Bard.

It was good thing for the bard that Suds came by when he did. A group of goblins were surronding the bard has Suds walked by. Normally a dwarf wouldn't help an elf. Even a nice freindly good-hearted dwarf like Suds wouldnt normally stick out his neck for an elf, but a dwarf sometimes just hates goblins even more. He grabbed his axe and ran into the battle. After a long fight the two were very injured, but alive. The Elven bard owed Suds his life. Both being injured the bard sang and healed the two. Suds was astonished by his power of the weave.

This Elven Bard accompanied him on his quest, atleast until repaid him. Suds was crazy about this idea, but he agreed and wanted to learn how this bard could use the weave through song and empower others through song. THe bard was a master singer and storyteller.

Suds told the elf of how is singing back at his home help him win fights and that his song inspired others to do better. He ask could this be the same power?

The elf seemed to think so, and after saving his life agreed to help to tap into his own bardic powers, and teach him how to manipulate the weave.
For the next few year the elf agreed to teach him all he knew. How his songs were a part of him how his strength went into his songs to give strengths to others. After days and months of teaching, THe dwarf did well, but the elf though that Suds would never be so skilled cause his songs were in dwarven, they didn't flow from the tounge the way elven did. And that was his downfall.

Suds was stubborn he had it in his mind that for him to be has good has the elf, that he had to know the elven tounge. He decided that if the elf was to train him to speak elven that his debt would be repaid.

The bard didnt really want to. Why give up such a beautiful language to a dwarf. However, the fact was the dwarf saved his life, and his debt did need to be repaid, so he also taught him the elven tounge.

So they started small with basic lettters. Days it took him to even master them. Such a tough language, but one so beautiful. Suds knew in his heart that this is what he was born to do, to sings and inspire others. So, he continued training. He then to words, then to phrases. After ten years of travel Suds finally mastered the tounge, the tales, and the singing skills from the Eleven Bard. After that the Bard travel away from the dwarf. He heard a tale of a younge hero that that was about to vanquish some creature. Also he believed the debt was repaid their was no more reason for him so stay.

Suds now has come to Port Hempstead looking for someone or something that could help perfect the Clan of Alebrew recipe. Or atleast to get more skilled in his craft of Brewing.

[darkstorme]

This submission is under discussion - please bear with us, and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Thanks!

[Rowana]

Hello and terribly sorry for the wait on this application!

This is an interesting concept and I am looking forward to welcoming the new dwarf into the world, however, there are a few issues that need to be addressed before we can approve Suds.

Firstly, his travel with an elf bard doesn't give much credence to the more intrinsic qualities of a bard, how their voice/song/tale lifts their comrades to greatness in battle, how they can with deft manipulation of the Weave lower their enemy's resistances, skills and other such things. As well it does not explain his ability to use the Weave in other manors, such as potential access to healing or light and the like.

Second, there is a very strong left over of the Race wars in that Dwarves and Elves do not typically get along. For one Elves tend to be rather aloof and haughty, something that's rather unappealing to the salt of the earth dwarves and it certainly doesn't mesh with the great dwarven pride. So the idea that an elvish bard and a dwarven brewmaster-in-training needs a bit more in the way of explaining.

Third, I'm not seeing an even partial reverence to Xeen in the biography. As many discussion threads have pointed out, faith is a pretty serious issue on Layonara. If one places a deity in the field it is assumed by the world that your faith remains strong in that deity, beyond mere lip service to the deity of the moment. While any non-priest/paladin class may choose to worship as they see fit, the Deity field does have some pretty far reaching consequences and this should be taken into consideration when applying.

Lastly, the request for the elvish ear at this point will be denied. You can see somewhat why from the dwarvish/elvish relation description, but the explanation of why an elf would offer this wide look into elvish culture to a dwarf by teaching the dwarf the elf's native tongue is not explained at all.

All in all the quest for the better brew is certainly something reasonably close to many a dwarf's heart and as I said above, the concept is certainly interesting. Once you've had a chance to look over these points I hope you'll find away to work them into your character concept for Suds. Here are a few examples that might be helpful!

Rundello

Djorik

Looking forward to your edits! Feel free to bump your thread when ready.

~row

[Krug]

Ok have edited it. I have gotten rid of the part of the diety for Xeen for has I thought about, your right there is no reason for worship of this diety. Hope this now fits better. If i need more editing will be glad to get back to work on it.

[Rowana]

Hello again!


Thanks for the edits, the sub is some improved. The absence of the deity does fit the bio much better, but I am still having a bit of trouble with the dwarf/elf relationship. Using this relationship to incorporate your bardic class doesn't make the class very integral to the character itself. Most anyone can learn at least a little bit of magic the wizarding way, but to become a Bard (or a Sorcerer) you need to be born with the gift for whatever reason. The description above really sounds more like the wizarding way, mostly because there's no evolution of Bardic potential within Suds's make up in the write up. At present he looks a lot more like a fighter (class wise) then a bard.


Before I continue to the next part I feel I need to point out the difference between an Entertainer and a Bard. An Entertainer (of any flavor) is a learned occupation. Learning to play music, master words, sing, mime, paint, or any other artistic venture is something any class can do. It's a great dimension to a fighter who may painted to sooth his heart after a terrible series of events in his life. However, a Bard is someone who has a Gift with the Weave, as well as a talent for effecting those around him. Some of the class specifics are Bard Song (bolster your allies with everything from additional AC to increasing their abilities and saves) and Curse Song (effectively doing the opposite to your opponents) as well as unique lore. Now, Suds certainly has the potential for unique lore with his family history and tale, but he doesn't have anything in his make up to explain why he'd use the other to portions of his class.


Lastly, the elvish ear. Gaining an additional ear on submission, like any other special request or additional need for a character, must be 1) well explained and 2) integral to the character's story. Like the class issue above, removing the entirety of the Elvish-Bard-rescued-by-Suds, actually improves the character's aprovability rather then lends to being approved with the ear request.


My recommendation at this point is to add some details within the early part of his biography about his natural bardic talents and to removed the elvish/dwarvish relationship at the end (as well as the ear request) and we can get Suds into game pretty quickly. If you are wanting to keep the ear you'll need to fix up bardic information as well as write a considerable bit more on the learning of the elvish ear.


Thank you again for your work on this.
~row

[Krug]

ok edited again hopefully this will be it other wise back to work!

[Rowana]

I am content to approve this application as is, but with out the ear. The above justification just does not seem to grasp the scope of animosity that is often prevalent between dwarves and elves. Suds here seems to be a dwarf rather strong with family tradition and secure in his dwarvish nature, but yet he 'stoops' to the low of his language (and by proxy his culture) isn't 'good enough' for bardic work. It seems like polar opposites with no valid reasoning.


Again, I am rather intrigued with the core concept behind Suds (the brewmaster quest) but I cannot reconcile the difference between his dwarvish pride -and- elf loving ways. It's rather like saying something is both dead and alive, to give an illustration, as not even the undead qualify as both.


If you are content to let go with out the ear I will approve this upon your response. If you still desire the ear for elvish, the application is in need of some work pertaining to that aspect.


Thank you again,
~row

[Krug]

Ok I think Suds is ready to be approved as is without the ear.

[Rowana]

With the proviso that the following did not occur...

Originally Posted by Krug

.....so he also taught him the elven tounge.

So they started small with basic lettters. Days it took him to even master them. Such a tough language, but one so beautiful. Suds knew in his heart that this is what he was born to do, to sings and inspire others. So, he continued training. He then to words, then to phrases. After ten years of travel Suds finally mastered the tounge, the tales, and the singing skills from the Eleven Bard. After that the Bard travel away from the dwarf. He heard a tale of a younge hero that that was about to vanquish some creature. Also he believed the debt was repaid their was no more reason for him so stay.

.. This character is approved, with out the elvish ear.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Welcome Suds to Layonara.