New Character Submission - CHaelk the Confused

[BarbaravdB]

Character: Chaelk the Confused
Age: 120
Gender: Female
Classes: Wizard/Rogue
Race: Elf
Alignment: Chaotic Good

Appearance: Green eyes, pale hair.

Biography:

(PART 1- it chopped off part)
Chaelk is from a relatively quiet (except when her older brother is practising alchemy, Leon can make pretty much anything go boom) community . She is travelling around out of simple curiosity about pretty much everything.

She has done basic weapons training in her community with sword and bow and some with people that she has met. Does OK with a dagger or staff, ( tends to knock them unconscious, check that they're alright, then run for it ,if by herself), though she doesn't feel right, stabbing people and so only uses the dagger for cutting things up. Will use her bow for hunting or deadly threats to her or anyone she is helping.

She showed a knack for magic, at least in the ability to do the gestures accurately and pronounce the verbal parts correctly, picking up a cantrip while watching other students learning. It was decided by her parents that some proper training would be in order. She has done basic training in wizardry and healing from a small temple of Lucinda near her home community and has picked up a few couple of basic spells ,as well as a few cantrips. She is a very intense student but as her teacher Aristo says"She would get more done however, if she studied one thing at a time. "
She would love to be a sorcerer and cast spells on the fly but lacks the natural ability for it and so is studying as a wizard.

She is unsure about whether she would be accepted as a cleric but is studying the Weave and magic with a cleric of Lucinda(with a lot of patience), though seems to have a problem with Evocation and Necromancy spells. She is likely to use her cantrips for entertaining people who are waiting to see someone at the temple or keeping the children occupied.

She picks up new skills easily. Which is lucky because everytime someone new turns up, she sees what she can learn from them. Whether, about locks and trapped items from a lcoksmith, tracking and stealth (and trapmaking)from a scout or diplomacy (after much hints about her lack of subtlety in interr... questioning people)from a "Courier". she is always watching and listening to everything around her (when not studying) and often spots people & things that appear out of place.

Has studied the precepts of any religions' clerics , who will sit still long enough for her to interr... question them but prefers the more peaceful ones. Was lucky enough one year to witness The circle of Eight lighting up and thought that it was the most beutiful and warm thing that she had ever seen. Likes small animals and large sort of animals.

She will help anyone who needs it but anyone being nasty will likely find out about another side of her. (The practical joker, who combines non-lethal pain with embarassment- hence the pit trap with attached stink bomb) Her abilities at sneaking quietly and getting into things that isn't supposed to, have enabled her to ... err help lighten up people who have been far too arrogent or obnoxious to her or someone near her. Of course, if they have a reason to, like having the misfortune to born into a noble family, well they can't help it.

She will go out of her way to help Servants of the Weave ,also Paladins of Lucinda, Aeridin & Lucinda ,as they both value life. (Though if currently not on a specific task will tease them) She's a bit unsure about Paladins of Vorax but as they swear not to harm innocents and to honor the fallen in battle. She will also help followers of Az'atta, as they are trying to redeem past mistakes. Others ,it will depend on what they are doing(and I can't remember the rest of the religions that I read)

She collects things and then gives it to people who she thinks might like it or need it. Things of value to her are not necessarily of monetary value.

She is likely to try something out to see if it says what it does, even if what it says is "It's a trap"

She doesn't like seeing things locked up, even dangerous ones (except murderers). She understands that people may trap things to eat but just setting traps to catch things foir no reason ,she doesn't approve of.

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

I'm not certain what time it is you're referring to - there's no time limit on submissions. Whatever the case, when you've posted your full biography, this submission will be reviewed.

Thanks!

[BarbaravdB]

My computer access is at an Internet cafe. Ran out of time paid for. Will now copntinue adding in biography. If character appears slightly insane, note it was a Chaotic Neutral character in 1st 2nd and 3rd ED D&D.

[darkstorme]

Hi again!

It's great to see this enthusiasm. There are, however, a few things that need to be addressed before this character is approvable.

While your character concept is entertaining, there are a few points in it that simply won't mesh with the world as it stands.

• Dragons are very rare in Layonara. They are starting back into the world, but that was a recent development - the incident with the Green Dragon has to go.
• Deities don't interact personally with mortals. This extends to not instantly smiting down those who insult them - since there are a number of Layonaran gods who are insulted quite often. There is only one goddess devoted to storms, and She would be as likely to laugh at an insult as seek retribution. So, again, amusing though it may be, the running insult match will have to go.
• Layonara is a low-magic world. As such, magic items are fairly rare. If she's a 1st-level character, it is beyond unlikely that she would have had to try on two belts to determine whether one was a GoGS (particularly because there are, to the best of my knowledge, only two or three of that particular item in-game, at all.)

For the submission as a whole, while a quirky personality is just fine, bear in mind that whatever this character may have been in a previous incarnation, she can't be Chaotic Neutral in Layonara for your first two months on the server. So please make her personality reflect her new alignment, rather than one she previously bore.

Also, I see extremely limited class support. No mention of training in arms or general practice with arms and armour (and in fact stating that bow and sword are not her specialties) doesn't lend much credence to the Fighter class. Stating merely that she is "okay with spells" but mentioning no training or tutelage in the Weave doesn't support the Wizard class without significant elaboration. And while I can see some roguelike aspects to her character as it stands, we'd need to see elaboration on that as well.

You can have a look at some Recent Approvals or past Character Approvals to get an idea of what we're looking for, and what you might want to expand upon.

Post again to this thread when you've made your edits.

Thanks!

[BarbaravdB]

OK I give up. I have typed that section in 5 times and it has wiped them 5 times.
Right, think I/ve beaten it. I stuck it on an attachment

[darkstorme]

Your submission is under discussion. We'll be back to you ASAP. Thanks!

[darkstorme]

Sorry for the delay on this.

As it stands, I think she might fall into the heading of Cleric/Rogue, as I still see little/no support for the Wizard class. If you decide to go this route, we'll need to see the three dogma statements from Cleric, Paladin and Champion Submissions.

Additionally, after much consultation with the Lore experts, the conclusion was reached that his/her adventures in gender are highly unlikely. A seasoned adventurer might, once in his life, encounter an item that would change gender permanently. Permanent transmutation is serious magic in Layonara - something even an archmage wouldn't be able to do lightly. To have a pre-first-level adventurer run across countless such items just doesn't fit with our setting.

Strengthen the support for the Rogue and Cleric classes, and tone down her rampant exposure to artifact-level magic, and she should be ready to go.

Thanks!

[BarbaravdB]

Sorry for the confusion, A lot of the strange stuff happened to a previous version of this character, not in this game. Will remove the stuff from that game and try to find the other stuff and get it to save.

Found it, will add to the attachment, as that already has her interpreations of the Deity's precepts.

[darkstorme]

This is better - however... which class(es) are you applying for?

[BarbaravdB]

AAArrrghhh! Sorry. TO start with, Rogue/Wizard, later Cleric. If you don't think I have enough for wizard then I will just have rogue to start with.

[darkstorme]

I see some support for wizard here (though I'd like to see more than one line pertaining to her training - who is her master? What is she like as a student, etc.), but very little for rogue at this point.

If you're not actively trying for cleric right now, the three dogma statements are unnecessary.

At the moment, I'd say your best bet is for Wizard, if you add the support I listed above. Rogues possess a rather more diverse skillset, and the acquisition of that would have to be included in your submission before you could be approved for the dual class.

I'd suggest cleaning up the submission, removing any extraneous bits that are left over from when you were looking for a different class, and further fleshing out those pertaining to the classes you want.

To get you started, I've changed your Class listing in your submission - the rest is up to you!

Thanks!

[BarbaravdB]

OK, next rewrite, now that I've had a read through the Rogue/Wizard/cleric descriptions in the Lore area. (I'm gradually working my way through it)

Do you have to list any classes you might get or just which you are starting with? It was hard to tell from the submission wizard, as that also asked for prestige classes, so I assumed that it was any that you were going to have.

Probably should have asked this to start with, also where do you do stats?

[darkstorme]

Sorry, I keep meaning to clarify that on one submission guideline or another. You submit for classes that you're going to take immediately (or reasonably so). These are classes for which your character would have rudimentary skills before starting out into the big wide world of adventuring.

As for stats - we don't require that they be listed in a submission, provided that when you create the character you place them reasonably sensibly (a character who does complex math in her head and can decipher ancient languages wouldn't have an INT of 8, say) and obey Layonara's Min/Maxing rules

The submission is looking good - just a bit more polish and Chaelk should be approvable. Most notably, I'd like to see a bit more about how it was she came to train as a wizard at all, as you've covered Rogue fairly well at this point.

Additionally, you still have "them" finding an ogre chained to a mages' tower. Who are "they", if she's just been studying at the temple, and with travellers who've come by? Surely they didn't release an ogre near their own home town (again, whoever "they" are)!

A little more detail, (and, as I said, a little tidy-up of the remains of previous instances of poor Chaelk) and you should be ready to roll.

Thanks!

[BarbaravdB]

Now what are the stats and how do you roll them?
The range would be good, or is there a standard set that I can can use?

[darkstorme]

Hmmm.. just so we're clear, you are aware that Layonara is an online game run using Bioware's Neverwinter Nights client? The stats (and the rest of character generation) takes place in-game.

Apart from that (which might pose a problem, if your questions mean what I think they mean), this looks good.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Good luck in-game!