New Character Submission - D'Hana O'toole

[brothertuck]

Character: D'Hana O'toole
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Classes: Bard/Rogue
Race: Half Elf
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Deity: Multiple


Biography:

I am resubmitting D'hana since it must have gone over a time limit allowed to post. I hope that this is exceptable.

I am half elf, my father a human and mother an elf. We live about a days travel south of Hlint. A small area at the edge of the Silkwood Forest where a couple of families set up homes to deal with adventurers and travelers through the area.
I picked up my mother's love of music and singing, and especially the way she would be able to turn angry men calm with her voice. She finally showed me how she did it, spinning the weave with the tones of her harp and songs. It was fun being able to make things happen with my voice and my music.
It seemed that there was often enough that angry men would be around due to some of my father's actions. Mom would persuade them that dad had nothing to do with whatever they were talking about.
My dad taught me a lot with games. Like hide and seek, learning how to use the flickering of light to hide in the shadows, and how to open doors and locks to get inside to safety. One time I was with him when he was playing hide and seek with a bunch of men, or at least I thought it was hide and seek until later when I was older and he told me.
Between mom's singing and dad's nightly jaunts, we survived during the dark times. Ocassionally they would work as a team when a large group was there. Mom would sing her songs and the people watching would be all peaceful and dad would go around patting everyone and making friends. Always seemed we ate better after a group was around.
I am getting to the age I need to go out on my own and find my own life, so with a teary goodbye, I head to Hlint and on to adventure.

[darkstorme]

Review will be posted shortly. Thanks for bearing with us.

(For future reference, after a submission sits idle for five days, a note is posted to the thread indicating that unless it is updated in the following five days, it will be deleted. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.)

[brothertuck]

I understand, I was just hoping it could be found, but it's better with a new start. I took all that I remembered from the previous comments by admins and hopefully did this more efficiently for you.

[Rowana]

Hello and welcome back Brothertuck,

Most of this looks great. We do have a few of issues to address.

Firstly, the bard class is not something that is solely taught from another, but there has to be something with in the person that makes a character a bard. Something that explains away their ability to sing/chant/recite or otherwise impress their comrades into giving such mechanical enhancements as increased AC, temporary hit points, added skill points, increased resistances, etc (and that's just one song!). Alternatively these same people can inflict the opposite physical and mental affects upon their enemies, causing loss if skill, AC, resistances, etc... Typically this is explained away by an innate 'something' with in the character and can be compared to the way a Sorcerer 'discovers' their Weave-Gift.

The second issue, is seeing that his folks have a rather Chaotic Neutral alignment over all (Lying, cheating and stealing to get what they need and to get out of trouble), and there is very little of D'hanna's actual personality that shows that his is indeed Chaotic Good, and why he would be that way over the example of his parents.

The third issue is relatively minor. It sounds as if your write up will have you starting in Hlint, which is no longer a starting city. The two starting cities are Port Heampstead and Fort Vehl. The former being a typically nicer sort of place and the latter being the sort where ruffians typically gather. As long as you are aware of that there are no real issues here, just a point to notify you on.

Thank you in advance for the time spent on this, and sorry for the delay in response time!

~row

[brothertuck]

I changed the starting place, and added a couple of lines to address your concerns.
Though I do understand your point about alignment, I have both DMed and played CG rogues and thieves in the older versions. I don't see the conflict in alignment as you do. I had one character, a rogue sorcerer, who actually turned into almost a Robin Hood type of character. Although not robbing from the rich to help the poor, I would help out the unforunate when it was needed. I may not have described it but I see my parents as only using their skills to survive and not to harm. My father a bit more liberally but my mother on a more as need basis. I see that as chaotic but not describing whether they are good, neutral, or evil. I hope what I've added will clarify it better.


I am half elf, my father a human and mother an elf. We live about a days travel north of Fort Vehl. A small area at the edge of the Gloom Woods where a couple of families set up homes to deal with adventurers and travelers through the area.
I picked up my mother's love of music and singing, and especially the way she would be able to turn angry men calm with her voice. She finally showed me how she did it, spinning the weave with the tones of her harp and songs. Finally one day while I was doing chores, it got late, I started singing and something odd happened. Though it was getting dark I was able to create enough light to finish and to get home safe. Another time when the neighbor's daughter fell and hurt herself I started singing to calm her and her wound actually started to close. It was fun being able to make things happen with my voice and my music.
It seemed that there was often enough that angry men would be around due to some of my father's actions. Mom would persuade them that dad had nothing to do with whatever they were talking about.
My dad taught me a lot with games. Like hide and seek, learning how to use the flickering of light to hide in the shadows, and how to open doors and locks to get inside to safety. One time I was with him when he was playing hide and seek with a bunch of men, or at least I thought it was hide and seek until later when I was older and he told me.
Between mom's singing and dad's nightly jaunts, we survived during the dark times. Ocassionally they would work as a team when a large group was there. Mom would sing her songs and the people watching would be all peaceful and dad would go around patting everyone and making friends. Always seemed we ate better after a group was around. She taught me that at times you had to do things to get by, but there was always a limit, and only in the extreme is it right to do something that did real physical or mental harm to someone, dad agreed with that.
I am getting to the age I need to go out on my own and find my own life, so with a teary goodbye, I head to Fort Vehl and on to adventure.

[Rowana]

Hello again Brothertuck,

Thank you very much for these adjustments. And yes, the alignment issue is far better explained now. Keeping in mind that you may have no less then 5 levels of any given class by level twenty, this character is approved.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Welcome D'Hanna O'Toole to Layonara.