New Character Submission - Castor Goodshot

superdoofus · 04-13-08, 03:12 PM

Character: Castor Goodshot
Age: 131
Gender: Male
Class: Ranger
Race: Elf
Alignment: True Neutral

Biography:

Castor Goodshot was born in the Ulam Forest in 1300. Castor's father, Earandur, was a well known armorer on the continent of Voltrex. He specialized in the creation of fine longbows and high-quality arrows. His mother, Tari, was known as a helpful and caring soul who spent time tending to the more needy elves who populated the Ulam Forest.
From an early age, Castor was trained by his father in the art of archery.

As a young elf, he quickly became known as a good hunter often supplying the family with small game for their meals. Castor also began to learn how to tune and maintain bows working in the maintenance area of his father's small shop.

In the late 1300s, Castor was exploring the forest. He became increasingly restless and yearned to venture out of the Ulam Forest and off of Voltrex to see more of Layonara. He longed for adventure, excitement and challenge. But, mostly, he yearned for freedom. He wanted to make a name for himself and become known. Castor was unsure what he was going to be known for, but he knew that if he stayed in the Ulam Forest, his life would become boring and mundane.

Now that Castor has come of age, he has left his parent's home and started his life as an adventurer. This is the first step in his life's journey

darkstorme · 04-13-08, 05:08 PM

This is some excellent writing, and it's plain that you've done your research before you wrote this (which is always appreciated).

I'd just like to see a little bit of expansion in two regions before approval. First, as it stands, he could equally easily be a fighter or a ranger. A little bit of expansion into his hunting/tracking skills and his practice of them would more solidly cement his class. (You might want to consider adding support for an initial favoured enemy as well, but that's entirely up to you.)

Second, from the year 1402 until 1420, the skies were darkened by soot and ash from the culmination of the final battle with Sinthar Bloodstone. Species died, crops suffered, famine and hardship were everywhere. While this may or may not have influenced Castor's decision to leave Voltrex, it'd be good to see a little mention of how this might have affected him.

Other than that, this looks great, and you'll be in game in no time. Post to this thread again when you've made your edits.

Thanks!

superdoofus · 04-14-08, 06:45 PM

Thank you for the feedback. I have incorporated your comments into Castor's bio below:
__________________________________________________ ________
Castor Goodshot was born in the Ulam Forest in 1300. Castor's father, Earandur, was a well known armorer on the continent of Voltrex. He specialized in the creation of fine longbows and high-quality arrows. His mother, Tari, was known as a helpful and caring soul who spent time tending to the more needy elves who populated the Ulam Forest.
From an early age, Castor was trained by his father in the art of archery.

As a young elf, he quickly became known as a good hunter often supplying the family with small game for their meals. During the Dark Ages, when many elves were suffering due to crop failures, it was Castor's hunting skills that allowed his family to remain healthy.

In 1398, Castor and friends were adventuring in the woods when they were surprised by a band of orcs. As the orcs descended upon he and his friends, Castor raised his bow and fired, felling an orc with a shot directly to his throat. The orcs kept coming and, during the fray, a good friend of Castor's, Elladan Telemnar, was killed. Castor and his friends defeated the orcs, but his hatred for orcs grew after the loss of his friend. Today, Castor's favored enemy remains the orc.

Castor also began to learn how to tune and maintain bows working in the maintenance area of his father's small shop.

In the late 1300s, Castor was exploring the forest. He became increasingly restless and yearned to venture out of the Ulam Forest and off of Voltrex to see more of Layonara. He longed for adventure, excitement and challenge. But, mostly, he yearned for freedom. He wanted to make a name for himself and become known. Castor was unsure what he was going to be known for, but he knew that if he stayed in the Ulam Forest, his life would become boring and mundane.

Now that Castor has come of age, he has left his parent's home and started his life as an adventurer. This is the first step in his life's journey...

darkstorme · 04-14-08, 09:10 PM

This is a very solid first submission.

Just an FYI - any elf leaving Voltrex will never be welcome to settle there again, barring direct intercession by the Niasa (elven high council). As a result, Castor has to realize that he will likely never live in the Ulam forest again, or see his parents, save for short visits. It's a huge step for an elf to leave Voltrex.

If you want to add something about that to your biography, let me know. If not, do bear it in mind: leaving Voltrex would not be something that Castor would have decided lightly.

Regardless, barring any issues with future additions along those lines:
Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Have fun in-game!