New Character

[Blades]

Tristan Lex'or In'Darsus

Str 15
Dex 8
Con 14
Wis 14
Int 12
Cha 14

LG
Human
Toran
Common and Elf
29 years old
6'4"
230 pounds
Blue eyes
Rust Color hair


Descrition:

He stands about 6'4". He is on the slinder side but strong. He wears blue and silver clothing. He uses a longsword the favorit of Toran, Quantum has showed him to use Staffs, and other simple weapons. Always be perpaired as Quantum says.



Bio:
I am the oldest son born of the second marriage of my father to my mother Sonya. Raised to be just and steady, to do good where I could. Loved by all my that would surround us. Of course our family, like any others, had it's ups and downs, but it is witht his unity that I grew to become mostly the man I am today.

Both our parents took pride into teaching us common, but as elven was primarily spoken in our housold by them, it didn't take too much for us to pick up on it and learn from them. Our mother and father took a lot of time to teach me and my twin sister Sarah the finess of elven. Something I have always enjoyed doing with them. And later on they continued with teaching all my other siblings.

At a young age I had taken liking into immitating my mother as she would pray to her deity, not fully understanding the meaning of why she was doing so at the time. It is only later in my early teenage years that I understood the power of faith. And it is through the teaching of Quantum Windword that my heart and soul found the solace it was looking for, into the strong arms and rightness of Toran.

Even though at an early age, my uncle Kyle had started to train me and my sister, the arts of the blades, my training was completed at the Toran citadle of Hinjuin. Quantum, a very good friend of my father and even more of my uncle Lex'or, had taken me under his wings after he had found me following him in the night, with his daugther. Sonya... a name both loved and longed. It is the name of my mother, but also the name of Quantum's daughter, and my love, taken from us prematuraly. I was strongly shaken by the lost of my kindred spirit. Letters of my father and uncle, came to me as the trainers at the citadel, thought I was slipping away, but it is with a visit of both my uncles and Quantum, that my spirit was lifted again. Both of them understood me better than anyone except of Sonya, and both of them had lost loved ones that were truly dear to them. They new exactly what I was going through and it is with their help that my faith kept growing even in those hard times.

Even if for a little time my desire was shaken, it is my faith, that burning desire to serve and bring the shining light of Toran, to the weaken, the battered and those in need to be empowered that drove me to take up the training of paladinhood. Never in my life was I so certain of what I wanted as the day I entered the citadel, my father on my right, Quantum on my left, and my uncle walking beside him. I was young, but still resolved to server and become the best paladin I could be, under his rightful watch. My aim was not to become the best, but simply the best I could be.

Through the years I was tought at the citadel, I had the pleasure of writing with Quantum and having his visits when ever he was in the area, always encouraging me to keep my heart steady and humble. A servant of the people before any consideration or honor, to keep my pride and ambition away from my heart, as the true power and devotion of a paladin comes first from his heart, and love of Toran, then through servitude and duty.

Now I am nearing my 29 years of age, not as young as many other paladin that left the temples, but it is for the best. I needed this time, to be closer to Toran, closer to the teaching. To impringnate my very being into all of his precepts and wisdom. And now after many years of my teachers subtilly pushing me to go forward, I know that I am ready to be a light in the night. I am armed with the sword and shield of the all watchful. Walking and persuing injustice where ever I will find them. Protecting and empowering the weak with my very life, and brigning them hope of a better life into the mercy and rightchiousness of Toran.

My name is Tristan Lex'or In'Darsus, son of Rain In'Darsus, but farmost, servent of the Great Leader. Honor, Truth, Loyalty, Duty, and Vigilance are my life.

1. I acknowledge reading and understanding the dogma and expectaion of the Toran faith and Paladin code.
2. Since Tristan has been mostly tought the faith and dogma by Quantum, his views are closely related that the Paladin is first and farmost a servant of the faith and of the people. And that his first duty is to the protection and routing of the injustice without brigning prejudice to the people he is trying to help.
He is strongly leaning into rightchiousness, and to do what he knows the teaching to be true. Unmoving in his faith and conviction as to the trueness of Toran. He will always endavour to uplift the banner to the best of his capabilities.
3. He will wear the colors and armor prescirbed by the dogma with honor and love, without becoming to the pride that such dedication to faith can bring.


Additional info:
Rain Darsus cdt

Sonya Darsus cdt

Kyle Pandorn cdt

Quantum Windword cdt

Lex'or Gravedigger 1rst cdt

[darkstorme]

Hi there!

Well well well, another of the In'Darsus clan. (Your family makes up a significant percentage of the PC population, these days. )

Although, on the whole, this is a well-considered submission, I would like to see a bit more detail. While I'm sure the information in the various CDTs you indicate would cover greater training and so forth, I'd like to see a digest of that information included in the body of your actual submission. While it's fantastic to see a new character so firmly ensconced in Layonaran society, Tristan can't ride the coattails, metaphorically, of his famous relatives and their friends. So some details as to his training as a paladin, his vows at the Citadel in Huangjin, etc, would be excellent.

Also, if the CDT references could be made into links, rather than just text references, that too would speed review.

Finally, while from the body of the submission it's clear what class Tristan is meant to be, you might wish to include that in the submission header.

Thanks!

[Blades]

Take two

Tristan Lex'or In'Darsus

Str 15
Dex 8
Con 14
Wis 14
Int 12
Cha 14

LG
Human
Toran
Common and Elf
29 years old
6'4"
230 pounds
Blue eyes
Rust Color hair
Paladian of Toran 15/5 Champion of Toran (If I complete the CDQ if not all 20 in Paladin)

Descrition:

He stands about 6'4". He is on the slimmer side but strong. He wears blue and silver clothing. He uses a long sword the favorite of Toran, Quantum has showed him to use Staves, and other simple weapons. Always be "per paired" as Quantum says.



Bio:

I am the oldest son born of the second marriage of my father to my mother Sonya. Raised to be just and steady, to do good where I could. Loved by all that would surround us. Of course our family, like any others, had it's ups and downs, but it is with his unity that I grew to become mostly the man I am today.

Both our parents took pride in teaching us common, but as elven was primarily spoken in our house by them, it didn't take too much for us to pick up on it and learn from them. Our mother and father took a lot of time to teach me and my twin sister Sarah the finesse of elven. Something I have always enjoyed doing with them. And later on they continued with teaching all my other siblings.

At a young age I had taken liking into imitating my mother as she would pray to her deity, not fully understanding the meaning of why she was doing so at the time. It is only later in my early teenage years that I understood the power of faith. And it is through the teaching of Quantum Windword that my heart and soul found the solace it was looking for, in the strong arms and righteousness of Toran.

As a child, Sonya and I, would follow my father and Quantum around town. They would be respected by the towns people. We followed Quantum one night to the crypts, what we both saw inspired us. In Torans name (Turn undead) he dispatched the skeletons that raised out of the ground. He opened the door to the crypts and walked in side showing no fear. I followed with Sonya right behind me. What we saw shocked us. There Quantum was with his long sword defeating undead creatures with ease, the whole time praying to Toran. The undead seemed to trimble with each call of Torans name. We left Quantum to his work and returned home.

Later we found out Quantum knew we had followed him, and my father sayed "Q put on a good show for you two, did he not?" At that point I knew we had been caught. It was a great thing. It forced my father to relize I was growing up and it was time for him to let me start choosing my path own in life.

My uncle Kyle had started to train me and my sister, the arts of the blades. It was not until I was taken to the citadel in Huangjin, that my training started. At 18 I was excepted to start some training in the arts of being a Paladin. That day I was given my Vows in front of my Father, Mother, Lex'or Quantum the Cleric that gave my Vows, and Toran himself. Of Honor, Truth, Loyalty, Duty, Vigilance to searve Toran, to protect the innocent with my life. To follow the laws. I always thought Quantum a Paladin but found out he was a cleric and The Shinning Hand of Toran. My mother weeped and I believe my father had a tear of joy also when the Vows were completed.

The first year of my training was mostly in the Book of Toran learning his word and memorizing to my heart. The next year I leaned the different laws of all the people and there lands. The third year was hard, I was apprenticed to a Paladin everything he said I did. I cleaned and fed his horse, I carried his equipment, his bed roll and led his horse. I was taught how to fight like a Toranite, I have combined Uncle Kyle's training and the Toranite training to come up with my own style. The next few years flew by, Training with a sword, learning all I could about Toran and the Paladin ways. Every three months I would be passed on to another Paladin to learn a different part. Keeps it exciting.

My training was near completed at the Toran's citadel of Huangjin. Sonya... a name both loved and longed. It is the name of my mother, but also the name of Quantum's daughter, and my love, taken from us premature. I was strongly shaken by the lost of my kindred spirit. Letters of my father and uncle, came to me as the trainers at the citadel, thought I was slipping away, but it is with a visit of both my uncles and Quantum, that my spirit was lifted again. Both of them understood me better than anyone except of Sonya, and both of them had lost loved ones that were truly dear to them. They new exactly what I was going through and it is with their help that my faith kept growing even in those hard times.

Even if for a little time my desire was shaken, it is my faith, that burning desire to serve and bring the shining light of Toran, to the weak, the battered and those in need to be empowered that drove me to take up the training of paladin hood. Never in my life was I so certain of what I wanted as the day I entered the citadel, my father on my right, Quantum on my left, and my uncle walking beside him. I was young, but still resolved to server and become the best paladin I could be, under his rightful watch. My aim was not to become the best, but simply the best I could be.

Through the years I was taught at the citadel I had the pleasure of writing with Quantum and having his visits when ever he was in the area, always encouraging me to keep my heart steady and humble. A servant of the people before any consideration or honor, to keep my pride and ambition away from my heart, as the true power and devotion of a paladin comes first from his heart, and love of Toran, then through servitude and duty.

Now I am nearing my 29 years of age, not as young as many other paladin that left the temples, but it is for the best. I needed this time, to be closer to Toran, closer to the teaching. To impregnate my very being into all of his precepts and wisdom. And now after many years of my teachers subtilely pushing me to go forward, I know that I am ready to be a light in the night. I am armed with the sword and shield of the all watchful. Walking and perusing injustice where ever I will find them. Protecting and empowering the weak with my very life, and brining them hope of a better life into the mercy and rightchiousness of Toran.

My name is Tristan Lex'or In'Darsus, son of Rain In'Darsus, but formost, servant of the Great Leader. Honor, Truth, Loyalty, Duty, and Vigilance are my life.

1. I acknowledge reading and understanding the dogma and expectation of the Toran faith and Paladin code.
2. Since Tristan has been mostly taught the faith and dogma by Quantum, his views are closely related that the Paladin is first and foremost a servant of the faith and of the people. And that his first duty is to the protection and routing of the injustice without brining prejudice to the people he is trying to help.
He is strongly leaning into rightchiousness, and to do what he knows the teaching to be true. Unmoving in his faith and conviction as to the trueness of Toran. He will always endeavor to uplift the banner to the best of his capabilities.
3. He will wear the colors and armor prescribed by the dogma with honor and love, without becoming to the pride that such dedication to faith can bring.


Additional info:
Rain
http://forums.layonara.com/developme...en-ranger.html

Sonya
http://forums.layonara.com/developme...rkangel-2.html

Quantum
http://forums.layonara.com/developme...e-quantum.html

Kyle
http://forums.layonara.com/developme...-thoughts.html

Lex'or
http://forums.layonara.com/developme...-thoughts.html



//requesting to be able to speak elven (elven ear) Taught by his mother and father

[darkstorme]

Alright, looks good - this was doubtless long in the planning (since he was born, in fact.)

As usual, of course, the prestige class will not be granted on submission - it will have to be approved at a later point.

That aside:
Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Good luck.