New Character Submission - Sion

[Link092]

Character: Sion Naz'Dul Fereir
Age: 111
Gender: Male
Class: Rogue
Race: Dark Elf
Alignment: True Neutral
Deity: N/A




Biography:

Journal

I am here, lost in these wilds that we know as the deep. Today I forget my past and shed that which holds me down. I write this journal now to record my progress through the deep as I travel. Should I die, I wish for those who find my remains to know my story.

I was born like any other Dark Elf child, and in no way special. None of my family had any standing in our city, as we were of a lesser House. Being male lead me to my "path" to the goal of Archmage, and put me as a follower of Baraeon Ca'Duz. At the age of fifty-five, I went through much tortuous training to hone my skills as a mage of the Arcane arts, to be a leader, and to survive. Training lead me to learn some common tongues of the many denizens of the Deep. Nothing amazing or fabulous, nothing worthy of notice.

Funny, how survival turns you against your own siblings. When I was much younger, barely seventy-two years old, I stabbed my brother in the back, so that I might receive a higher position in the family "business". I never got it. it went to another member of the family, seeing that the "unexpected" death of Joul, left the position open for one in the Matrons favor. Naive as I was, I later learned what all Dark Elves do at a young age. Trust No One. Trust everyone as much as you would your mother. Trust None, but yourself.

About thirteen years after that, I killed my sister as well. she had gotten sick, an illness spreading through the city wit drastic affects on those unfortunate enough to contract it. I was assigned to watch over her, for who better to watch over an ailing person than the heir to their position in the family? Unknowingly, I would soon be the eldest child in the family. I walked into her room, and brought the needed medication. I was still naive, still gullible to lies told by my family. She looked in pain, and she probably was. She beckoned me to sit down. It was an unusual request, but I complied. After all, couldn't I show compassion to a dying relative? She beckoned closer still. I leaned closer, and was surprised to find a finely crafted blade upon my cheek. She growled at me and told me that something as pathetic as me would never take her place, and as a final act of selfish hatred, violently drew the blade across my face, and towards my neck. In desperation, I lashed back, reaching for her throat. Females always had the stronger build, so my attempt to fight her off would have been humorous were it not for dire circumstances... And fortunately for me, in her weakened state I was actually much stronger than her, so the struggle lasted only a few short seconds. Her cause of death was presented to the public as natural causes, and rightly so... I never showed feeling towards, never cared, never wanted the companionship of, or presence of another being after that incident.

Training continued and finally before training finished, only a third of my peers survived the final test. We never actually learned magic at our academy, just spent years studying and building our focus and intellect. the final test required use to survive a mental intrusion of an academy teacher. The ones they thought worthless they simply killed out right, only leaving the ones with potential alive as to continue training under a mage, or continued study at the academy. I was the first few, and luckily so. after watching most of what happened, They would have disposed of me for the divergence in my train of thought. because that, I felt different. Isolated. These people are enjoying the killing of those they know. There were a few other tests after that, and most would succeed, as they we're simple tests to eliminate the weak.

It was later, 10 years before now, that I decided to leave. I made this decision knowing full well the dangers of the Deep, and it's inhabitants. I began using my skills from the academy to hone my dexterity, and to train my body for the harsh world around me. Strength was never an option, so what I lacked of it, I made up with cunning and guile. Turning to the equivalent of a thief was not my idea of glory, but necessary for my continued survival. neither me nor my peers had the necessary learning to perform any devastating magic, that would require centuries of careful training under a master. I would have to continue my life for 10 years until the day I leave. I managed to simply get off with staying at the academy libraries, which left me open and unmonitored to hone my dexterity and physical training, as well as read a few books about the surrounding areas, seeing that I would need fore knowledge of deep for my travels. Afterwords, I would completely abandoned most my training as a mage, except the choicest bits, such as languages.

With in those ten years, escaping the vigilant eye of the academy administrators and the family was nerve wracking. Timing my appearance at the academy and the House had to be precise, as to not give away my secrets. Organization was not something that I adhered to, but it had it's uses. Times really got rough when my House, and others, planned an organized removal of a House in a higher position that ours. The thorough planning and scheming required my attention and almost lead to exposing my plans as I became more active in the family "activities." After the first five years, my absence was barely noticed, and I resumed my "studies".

Finally, a six months ago, my physical training that I had performed in the privacy of my room was complete. I could pocket some valuables in the house and avoid the attention of a few guards. I was ready to leave. Packing was hard for my leave with the house on constant alert for turncoats, but I was inconspicuous at best. My plans for leaving the wretched city were almost complete, and a few changes were in order. I completely left my faith in Baraeon Ca'Duz behind in the dust. I would need to find a deity more suiting my needs. No, I decided. None at all. I would abolish my complete faith in any deity, unless proven that they are for a cause I find worthy.

The first days out in the Deep were long and tiring. avoiding predators and raiding parties were a concern, and the odd absence of law and civilization almost drove me to insanity. My supply of rations would last me for a month at best. My simple garb kept me blended with the dull surroundings, there was no point in drawing attention to ones self in hostile territory. Finding a haven would be near impossible with no definite map of the surroundings. the only guidance I had was the talk of a water deposit west of the City.

Weeks later, I reached the reservoir. Hunting was difficult, as I had no way of knowing how to, which lead me to deplete my rations. My simple blade would do nothing against the things that lurk in the dark. Upon my arrival, I sampled the water. it had a metallic tinge to it, but it was all that was there. I surveyed my surroundings, and kept a low profile, for there was bound to be something near. There was. A small curious pack of creatures where on the other side of the reservoir. I watched them, squabbling amongst them selves. They weren't dwarves, nor gnomes for that matter. the were exceptionally small, and had a goblinoid appearance. I ended up observing this group for weeks, watched them war with other tribes, survive encounters with dwarves, and such. It was odd. A superior being as myself, content watching the habits of these degenerate creatures. What have I turned into? About this time, I observed an encounter that left me fundamentally changed. The Gobliniods wandered into a mining expedition of Deep Gnomes. I was disgusted at their appearance, and wished to simply kill them, though that would be unlikely in my current condition. The Gnomes watched them, an kept their distance, until one of the Things attacked the group. The Gnomes quickly turned on the pack of gobliniods and easily wiped out most of the pack. A cowering female huddled against the wall, holding the whelps close. One of the miners stepped up, poised to strike, yet held his position. What was he thinking? why didn't he just kill it out right? was he toying with it? No. It was mercy... I couldn't comprehend, couldn't understand why he would do this. I had a few days to reflect on this, and would would soon have a similar experience.

I woke up to a stirring off further down the tunnels. Recuperating from slight starvation was slow, but learning the hard way to set traps paid off. Weak as I was at the time, I got up to move closer to investigate. It was another expedition... but there was no tools, no pick axes. They were hunting for something. Something they hated. They whispered incoherently amongst each other, and a few moments later, One in the group pointed in my direction, babbling in a foreign tongue. I was caught. I couldn't fight back, nor could I out run them. I was too weak. The brutality of them ended abruptly when they paused to talk amongst themselves. they looked worried at first, and looked about at first. but then they calmed down and continued their heated debate. After much pointing, and more of which I was not consciously aware of, they backed away, and left me there. Before they left, the one who stared fiercely at me and gave away my position spat upon my bruised body, before leaving me to the Deep. I was mortified. Why was I still alive? I was weak, they could tell, but yet didn't kill me. The weak always die. I should be dead. But here I am, very much alive and kicking.

That leads me to today, when I decide my fate. I still cling desperately to my raising, but I see a need for change in who I am. The balance of things seem so skewed, yet so perfect. I guess now the same can be said for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I noticed the difference in temperature as I traveled today. I froze in terror. I was close to the surface, and very aware of it. Fear swelled up as I though about the inhabitants. I would have to back track. I was always taught the surface was a forlorn place, and I wish not to venture upon foreign lands or light and openness. I try to forget the preconceptions I have of what lies above, but the horror of facing it is over whelming. I must turn back...

~~~~~~~~~~~

The path back collapsed after a strange encounter with some of the local denizens. A pack of vicious creatures took up chase for some small prey that had ran through an opening that lead to a natural bridge across the underground lake. the weight tore the bridge down, as well as any hope of backtracking. I would have to go up above ground. Up... I never shuddered so badly at the thought of adventure, yet here I am, and It looks like I have a Lot ahead of me. Besides, They should fear me, right? Not the other way around.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality And Traits

1. Sion is rather bitter, and often frowns or scowls at those around him. He will often come off as demeaning. (meeting and befriending a surfacer will be a challenge for him, do to his "superior" manner and beliefs he was raised with Deep.)
2. the attack from his sister left a jagged scar across his face, which lead to some antagonizing from peers about his appearance. He likes his cowl.
3. Sion has a strong dislike for magic, and won't use magic items. While it is peculiar for his kind, it is what differentiates him from his kin. it also gives reasoning behind his class of choice.
4. He likes different foods, so he likes to experiment with food he manages to trap in different ways.
5. His morals are as follows:

• Preservation of self.
• Follow laws to keep a low profile.
• Judges by deeds and actions. He has no Illusion of being good or evil, lawful or chaotic.
• Survival of the fittest.

[Rowana]

Moved to proper forum.
~row

[Link092]

oops.

[Link092]

I know this will bug the heck out of you, and I understand the concept of RL.

but I'm curious as to when I can expect a reply. If you guys are really busy, then I can go search for other servers for now.

Thx much.

edit* i don't want this coming off as sarcasm, or anger. the wording kinda seems that way. apologies.

[minerva]

Welcome to Layonara

Enthusiasm is good but try and sit on those hands a bit. The character approvers do their best.

You have chosen to try and enter Layonara with a complex and difficult character.

First off those looking for approval for the dark elf subrace must submit a through and detailed biography that lets us see that you understand the race the thought processes and most importantly the alignment.

Just adding bits on the bottom - oh yeah he thinks like this or I will play him that way is not enough.

What you have written is a start but just that. It does not read as true neutral, it is definitively evil and leans toward chaotic evil.

You need to substantially flesh out the bio to illustrate the true neutral philosophy and explain how a TN dark elf even managed to survive to 111 years old.

You also give your character abilities well beyond that of a level 1 mage. You'll enter the game with cantrips and a few level 1 spells - not the abilitiy to control the Al'Noth to the extent to murder someone with a magical illness or fake your death in a temple of Baeron Ca'duz (and as it implies take a few priests out with you)


I would suggest you read the bios of a few recent dark elf approvals

Lairillia
Josyln
Quarral
Zilvara

To get an idea of the detail and quality of the bio expected.

[Link092]

I'm making a mass edit on my bio right now while i post this. thx for the feed back, i was just a little enthused, and RL hasn't given me much to do the past month.. XD sry if I came off a little irritating. As for Sion, he completely dropped his training as mage, so I'm editing it so it fits his change to rouge. the faigning death was supposed to be by roguish skills, not magic, but I see the issue now and deleted most of that paragraph.

anyway, thx, and i'll have the edit up soon.

[Link092]

I edited my Bio.

anymore pointers would be appreciated.

Thx much, and hope the edit has more of what your looking for.

[Link092]

I read my bio and forgot to fix the 4th paragraph regarding magic... so I fixed it.

[Acacea]

Hey, sorry again for the delays, everyone seems to have gotten sucked into RL, but at least it is about weekend-time which frees it up some.

Thanks for the changes you made, but I noticed you still had "In desperation, fed virulent disease a simple cantrip every Dark Elf knew, instantly immobilizing and her. The wretched sight of her slow decaying made the servants gag, but other than that, life resumed." in there, just now as an innate dark elven cantrip thing... but it's not, you know? And even if it was, surely if every dark elf could do it, they would be able to fend it off, maybe? Or did you mean to take that section out? Apologies for the additional delay but I think that need be clarified. Don't worry, won't be long. I will ask in the meantime if there is anything else needing to be checked.

As a note, he will start the game in Fort Vehl on the continent of Mistone, and should certainly be trying to keep his race a secret from others, which is easier in Vehl as prying overly into the business of someone who doesn't want to show their face is a good way of getting your corpse tossed into the ocean or something. It is much, much more difficult to pull off in Hempstead, so that option is not available for him. Get back to you in a bit after you fix up that bit I mentioned earlier up. Don't despair

[Link092]

made the change. I might have missed a small detail. kinda tired right now...

the original idea was the use of faerie fire, or such. just an innate racial ability. oh well, I tried.

(*edit- I reread your post and accidentally skipped a line, so this addresses the issue of a counter for the simple cantrip.* I was making some little virus specific to the small unknown Dark Elf city he his from, which fed on magical forces, so any use of her magic, and any magic in close proximity fed the virus and lead to the fast corruption of the body, leaving a rotting husk where the person was. My Idea was that it was the result of a scheming house, and planned to wipe out an opposing house with it, but it got out of hand, spreading through the city. some were more vulnerable to the disease than others, explaining sions unaffected condition.)

I just realized that I should probably go fix another thing, so that will be done right after this post.

thx for the feed back, and sry for the overzealous posting...

[Link092]

Originally Posted by Acacea

As a note, he will start the game in Fort Vehl on the continent of Mistone, and should certainly be trying to keep his race a secret from others, which is easier in Vehl as prying overly into the business of someone who doesn't want to show their face is a good way of getting your corpse tossed into the ocean or something. It is much, much more difficult to pull off in Hempstead, so that option is not available for him. Get back to you in a bit after you fix up that bit I mentioned earlier up. Don't despair

Thx for the tip. I figured I might have trouble getting out, but one question. Do I RP the cover? or is my character actually covered up with a cowl or something?

thanks much.

[Acacea]

The Faerie Fire is fine, as is the innate ability to call darkness which exists in-game, but the way it was phrased still looked as though it was his cantrip itself which fed her a virulent disease. I don't really think that's the same methodology as the spell version, but for the sake of expedience let us assume that since the illness was presumably set by dark elves, somehow they were able to use them regardless! :P

As for your question, unfortunately you will not start the game with a hood or helm of any kind (I think maybe it would be nice if they did, though), but you can purchase one and dye/customize it to a cowl in Fort Vehl. If someone makes a fuss with you before you have the opportunity to make one, feel free to send an OOC tell to explain. No one will make a big deal about it before you have a chance to get your stuff together. After that though you are fair game. Sorry for the extra wait on this, I'm going to toss you through.

Your character has been approved.

Server address is west.layonara.com
Password is layoplayer

Some final notes on character creation:

• Please note that racial adjustments for players with subraces are skin based and thus get applied after getting in game.
• Only two ability scores can be less than 10 and only one can be less than 8 after racial adjustments
• Brownies, when selecting a head, the head you choose on the halfling selection will correspond to that numbered head for elves (for example, clicking right 6 times on the head selection during character creation will take the 6th head when clicking right on the elf creation)
• Half-giants and ogres, please ask for a GM (type /dm Anyone here?) if you would like to change to a custom skin.

Have fun, and welcome to Layonara. If you have any questions most people won't mind a /tell player to answer them, or you can post on the forums, see if there is a DM on by asking on the DM channel, or log onto Layo's IRC server where there are usually people around for faster answers.

[Link092]

well, its already changed, so you might want to look again. or I could revert it. o well. thanks much, and once again, apologies.

[Link092]

Changes made for PrC sub.

[twidget658]

Arrggg...once your character is approved, you may not edit it. PrC or any other requests should be added in a new window or new thread, but your 'approved' submission should not be changed. I learned this same lesson a few years ago.

If you can, please change you 'approved' submission back to the way it was before your last edit.