Sa'kura- to dream of dragons

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Well, this is the beginning of it all I guess. A dragon called me before him many months ago and pulled me from the wilds. I dont know why, nor do I care. All memories for the few weeks prior to that are blur. I accepted his offer, and I appeared in a place called Hlint.
I have made many friends in my short time there and even found love. Something I was never expecting to find. Im still all muddled up inside over it, but I know its real. Isn't it? Everything seems so surreal.
I am glad blood is dead. Barion, my love, was amongst that mughty group of adventurers. I feared he would not return and when he did I was so full of joy I nearly exploded!
But now....I dont know what to do. My Barion...my love. I know why you are going, and in my heart I am glad that you care so much for your 'sister' you would risk everything. It makes me feel proud. It makes my love for you even stronger. But I will not let you throw your life away. Not without me! I told you I would follow wherever you went, and now I follow you to the firestead mountains. I only hope to catchi you in time, and that I may at least try and help you my love. My heart breaks for your loss, and I would try to help mend it.
You are my heart Barion.

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I am full of sorrow and happiness. I don't know how I can feel both but I do. I was given the hardest news I have had to bear since forst being summoned by the dragon. Barion is going to firesteep alone. Hurry and stop him! I didnt understand the full meaning of this message that my friend Rhynn had sent me. I met one of my dearest friends, Kyle Pandorn on my way to find Rhynn and see what was going on. Barion is strong...He helped defeat Blood and came back alive. What could hurt him? kyle told me Abigail Ruzz had commited suicide. I barely knew her, but I did know she was like a sister to Barion. He cared deeply for her, and I realized this tragedy would tear him apart. He has lost so many friends in t epst.
I didn't find Rhynn, but Ozy was there sharing more of his wisdom. I asked and he spoke. He told me why and where Barion would be going. That there was no way he could succeed and that I needed to stop him. Kyle, my dear friend, offered to help find Barion. I couldn't ask for his help in this, it was too dangerous a journey and he has Ferrit to consider. But I was desperate, I should never have, but I did. I asked Kyle for his help, I knew I could never make the journey alone. He came without hesitation. He said I didn't need to ask, that as soon as he realized I was going he was going to help. He is a great man.
We traveled to Pranzis first, as we had heard a rumor that he was there preparing for something. We rushed there as fast we could to see if we could find him. Luckily, we caught him near the main gate, or at least what is left of it. He looked as if he was living in a nightmare. My poor Barion.
We talked long into the night. He shared with me his pain, and I did my best to ease his heart. He will never forget her, he considered her his sister. And his rage at Angela is without measure. He saw her trying to take the body of Abigail and threatened to kill her on the spot if she dared desecrate the body of the one she drove to suicide. I fear he may still seek revenge upon her if given the chance. I pray it never comes to that.
Afterwards we traveled to Dalanthar and met a mutual friend, Cray Rill. She too was distraught over the death of her beloved friend. They had known each other many years. We then spent many hours cloistered at the 'Stray Oxen' inn (or whatever its called)and they talked of the many adventures and deep friendship they had with Abigail. I wish I had known her as they had. She seems as if she was a great and giving person in life. A good friend.
Upon our return...we visited the place were we first kindled our romance. The first circle of our time together has come full circle. And the next journey for us is now beginning.
He is my heart.

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I dont know what is going on. The nightmares are happening all too often now. And they strike fear into my heart. I dont know what to make of them...
My childhood..I see my mothers face wracked in anguish and I cant help her. I run to her but the flames sear my flesh and I cannot bear to go any further.
I am at a grave stone. And there are others surrounding me. I cannot see their faces, but they are laughing at me. Feeding off of my sorrow...mommy.
I see a mighty warrior, aged and wrought with anguish. He is fighting. He is cut down and fire engulfs his body. He is trampled into the earth.
Then they come for me...my screams of anguish..then darkness

My screams wake me in the night.

What is happening to me?

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The nightmares continue to plague me...coming more and more often. I dont know what to do.
Barion, my love, doesnt yet know what to make oif my nightmares..I havent told him yet he horrors that make me wake up screaming. But he comforts me, and the memories fade all the faster. He is my rock, and my heart.

I feel my dreams right now are nothing compared to the anguish Barion is feeling. His dearest friend Abigail Ruzz committed suicide. It has cut him so deeply. She was his sister in heart if not in blood. He has lost so many friends, but this one has wounded him the worst. He nearly commited suicide himself over this...not by hanging, or hius own sword, but in a suicide mission he knew in his heart would take him. It was also to restore his friend from the planes of the lost. A magickal item somewhere in te Firesteep mountains. Im glad his friend tath found him and stopped him. My heart couldn't bear his loss. It can barely handle the sorrow that has engulfed him. My friend Rhynn sent me a letter as soon as she heard what Barion was going to do, knowing the danger he faced. I left immediately with my friend Kyle. Knowing we would surely die trying to find Barion in the Firesteep, he came without any reservations. Just his concern for me. Ozy gave us directions and we left. We heard rumor thta Barion was in Pranzis for some reason, no doubt preparing to leave for North Point. We caught him by the portals just in time. He was a wreck, and my heart broke. I can't stand too see him so hurt. Kyle left us alone and we talked long into the night.
We left Pranzis 2 days later and went to Dalanthar where we met Cray. Cray isone of my close friends here, and I value her opinions and wisdom highly. We reminisced about Abi..they did more so than I. I barely knew her, having met her only a 1 week before her ..her end.


Its been a week since we were in Dalanthar, adn Barion seems to be less depressed. I know he stills hurts and it will take a long time for him to heal. He can take as long as he needs.

We met a nice elven girl named Serissa, she as agreed to teach us elven. She has exceptional abilities to heal and her sword arm is pretty good too!. I like her.

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I was crafting in Hlint the other day and saw Angela Swann and Dorena by the well. I said hello as I was still on good terms with them, regardless of the problems Barion is having right now. I don't really know either of them that well. I met Dorena thru Cray and we travelled together for awhile. She seemed nice enough, a little distant, but nice. Angela I only knew from her travelling with a few parties I had been involved with. She is a capable fighter and saved me more than once even to her own peril. She is highly a good fighter and seemed very nice. We had chatted several times since then and became friends.
It took me completely by surprise when Barion told me of the relationship between her and Abi. I had no idea. I never really asked her about her personal life, we mostly chatted about the normal goings on with the Blood war or troubles with giants and the like.
Barion is so very angry with her. He loved Abi like a sister, and when he told me what had happened between them. Why Abi left us I could understand. Sometimes a broken heart never mends, and the only way to end the pain is to...to move on. He blames Angela for her betrayel of Abi, and that was the reason Abi did what she did. Barion and Angela had been friends for many years before Abi's death. I think things would have been okay between them given time. But Angela tried to claim Abigail's body, saying it was hers by right of love and the realtionship with which they had shared. This is what truly infuriated Barion. He feels Angela had no claim like that considering what had happened between them. I don't know all of the details concerning their relationship, Angela's and Abi's, but I must agree with Barion on this point. Too much time had passed for that claim to hold. Barion wanted to lay Abi in state, so that all those who had known her could say good bye. He changed his mind after Angela tried to take the body. He didn't want it stolen in the night by the very person whom he felt was responsible for her death. SHe had no right.
Angela told me another side of it. She freely admits to her betrayel of Abi. She has also said that it happened months ago, and that she had tried to mend their relationship. She said that her heart was in love with both of them, Alantha with whom she cheated and Abi. Abi couldn't deal with that and left. She feels Abi made her own choice in leaving us, She also accepts that part of the reason why Abi committed suicide is because of her betrayel. Angela says she wanted to save their relationship, but Abi would have none of it. No matter what happened before with them, it was still Abi's choice to leave forever.
In some ways I feel I must agree with Angela, it was Abi's choice to leave us. But something about her story leaves me feeling cold. I don't think it is the whole story, but we all see things as we must.
I also met Dorena. She and Barion and a misadventure (to say the least) while drinking heavily. I really doubt anything happened, but neiher of them have any clear idea. Dorena ran into a tree and knocked herself out cold, Barion thinks he said something to upset her. He followed her to where she knocked herself and carried her to a bed, thinking to tend her wound. He promptly passed out. They woke up the next day, she was naked on the bed, he awas on the floor. Barion, not sure what had happened wrote a letter to Dorena saying as much, and that he doidnt think anything had happened, but he didn't know. Jacc..Doren's husband saw the letter and assumed the worst. This probably woudl have not been such a big deal, but Barion once had a crush on Dorena. Jacc new this and probably assumed Barion was acting on this old crush. Barion promised never to travel alone with Dorena and never to speak to her until Jacc said it was okay. The funny thing is...no one else saw anything, and that they were drinking with the witch in the seilwood, or at least in her house according to Dorena. Barion says they were in an inn. I dont know what to make of this. More than likely it was just a few friends getting really really drunk, acting stupid, and things getting out of hand. Gods only know what I have done when Ive been really drunk. Which has happened alot...alot, and who hasn't woken up naked in strange places after swilling too much beer. Okay...so Im a lush sometimes. Dalan (a dwarven friend) once said with a little more practice I could drink a dwarf under the table!
I just hope all this works out for the best. Jacc, Dorena and Barion have been friends for a very long time. I dont believe Barion has it in him to do such a thing. Get drunk yes, that...never.
Times are gonna be very trying in the next few months, but I love Barion. He may be stubborn sometimes, and a little hard headed but he is mine and I love him.

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Rain and Sonya's wedding was wonderful. Everyone looked great. For all the sorrow that has recently occurred, it is heartening to see love uniting ad showing us again that this wirld has more than darkness too offer us.

After the wedding and I ended up travelling with my friend a Nepp. We went into the haven mines where we joined another large group going down. It was strangely quiet. No ogres. Afterwards we went to Dregar and harassed the giants there. It was dangerous as always, but we were offered a job by some guy in Vale to hunt for the local giants leader. After performing this task we headed into the desert for silver.
Soon after, we disbanded and went our separate ways. I traveled with Tre'ana back to Mistone. It was pretty uneventful. As soon as we arrived in hlint...Tre'ana received a letter from Addison. Poor Tre'ana was worried sick..apparently Addison went to Trallix(?)a very dangerous place in which to travel. Im sure she willl be fine, Addsions is very tough, and she would have gone with a strong party.
She also asked me to be ber her Vyz..something. I will stand by her during her wedding. The hard part is going to be to my job. I am required to kiss Addison with as much passion and love as I would Barion. If she returns the passion and love then the marriage is off. This will be interesting. I will do my best for Tre'ana. I have never kissed a girl like that before, this is going to be interesting.
And finally...I am so happy...Barion asked me to marry him. I said yes, without any hesitation. I love him so much. Alas. our happiness in the moment was short lived as Barion ws required to perform some mission. King's business he said. I hope he is okay, he hadn't returned by the time I arrived back in Hlint. He is strong and brave, he will be fine. I hope he is travelling with Addison. He can keep her safe, adn she will keep him safe. They are both mighty warriors. It will set my heart and Tre'ana's at ease if they are.

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I told Barion the other day of my commitment to be the Viza Na'Ruvan for Tre'ana. He wasnt happy about it at all. I can't say I blame him. Seeing his fiance kissing another person with all the passion I have for him is asking alot. He is especially not thrilled that I'm going to be kissing Addison. Don't get me wrong...Barion likes Addison, hes known her for years...he just doesn't want me kissing her.

Kyle was there when we started talking about what I was to do. He agreed with Barion that I probably shouldn't do it. He recalled how hard it was for ferrit when he was to be the Viza Na'Ruvan for her before.

I guess I really didn't realize what I was getting myself into...but then again, I rarely ever do. Just my nature.

I will Tre'ana about the details of what I'm supposed to do. Kyle says he had a book stating what my responsibilities were, but he seems to have lost it

I am very nervous about this. Barion may not like it, but he supports my decision. On the plus side for us...I need all the practice i can get. Wheres Barion...I need to start training!

One last note on all of this...I am deeply honored that Tre'ana thinks enough of me that she would trust me with such an important responsibility. I will do my best not to disappoint.

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Poor Tre'ana.....Addison is gone forever. Torn from us by the forces of the underdark. I will miss her dearly.
I heard the words from Tre'ana today...She brought little Calvin with her to Hlint. I have no words of comfort for her..How could I? What could I say or do? Hopefully time, and raising Calvin will help her heal. I will always be there for her.

Mistone lost a great warrior in Addison Scarlace..we will miss her dearly.

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The dreams are returning again. This time theres something different. I dont know what.

I see my mother's face screaming in agony, crying for it to stop! There is something behind her. Something hurting her. I try to look for help, but there is only stone and darkness.

I see the shadow behind her laughing, mocking her....and then it sees me. It stops laughing and smiles with a grin tha makes me shiver. I can't see it..I feel it...cold...it makes my heart despair. It begins torturing my mother again, with even more ferocity..all the while looking at me and smiling.

Darkness engulfs me as silence fills the air...I hear the demon...the creature..and it words, its voice tear my soul asunder...."Soon my child, like your mother. You will be mine."

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I wake up alone screaming in bed..shivering...tears running down my face. My body as cold as ice as I recall his words.
What did he mean? Like your mother, I will be his...She died..I saw her grave..She's dead..isn't she? My father..he said he saw her body. I don't understand.

As I lie there trembling under the covers, my heart yearns for Barion to return. To comfort me and keep the bad things at bay, but somehow I know. I know in my heart that this is something I must face alone. If only I knew what it was.

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Oh my aching head. That darn Will-o-whiskey packs a punch! Barion Dorena and I made an impromptu trip to the Leilon Arms INN after hearing th ecrier say it was open. Stupid town crier. Anyway, we ended up in the Scamp since the Arms was closed. Beer, beer, and more beer. I was doing great until I slugged that darn whiskey. Ugh.All three of us ended up on the flor more than once! It was great fun...until the hangover. Oi vey!

Barion and I got a room, and we shared it with Dorena. I got her her own room, but she ended up in ours. Barion and her stripped down to their skivvies in nothing flat...I dont know why I didn't.. I felt shy maybe for the first time in along while. I lay next to Barion to keep him warm (it was snowing outside). I can hold my beer (drinks like a dwarf Dalan says)so I just lay there listening to Barion breathe as he lay passed out on the floor. Dorena just stood there over us, watching us. She mumbled something, that made me sad. She then fell asleep on the floor near us.
Barion and I had a great morning, a thoughtful discussion and when we went to wake Dorena; she was gone.

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Its strange...its comforting...and it makes me alittle nervous...
The dreams have been coming agaian, and again...not that they ever stopped coming, and for awhile...they were almost to terrible to behold. They still are. But they are not as bad as they have been...is this the calm before the storm I wonder? Not that they could ever get any worse.

I have noticed that when I am with Barion, that creature that taunted me before has not appeared again. I catch glimpses of a winged shadow in the dreams, but never since Barion has been home regularly with me , and I with him. Perhaps it fears Barion, or rather fears what Barion and I share. I am sleeping easier.....for now.

In other news, Jenna has fallen in love with Elgon Merrick. She has yet to tell her brother Kyle and she is very nervous about doing so. Elgon is a good man, and he and Kyle have been friends for a very long time. I think it will be fine.

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It has been a day filled with ups and downs for me. My crafting is getting better and better. Barion's helping me with materials and wanting me to really perfect my crafting has given me a drive I haven't had in awhile. MY ALchemy and gem crafting are really coming along well.

Today I heard devastating news. It nearly shatterd my spirit. I was listening to Ozy tell teh tale of the fall of Blood. I was very interested to hear this, since my beloved was there. To hear Ozy weve this tale and know that Barion was one of the great champions filled me with pride.
After the story was over Ozy talked of the dragons, and the future that Layonara may have to face. He spoke of the fall of Ozlo, a great dragon...and the dragon who summoned us. He told us his fall. My hopes were crushed...only Ozlo knew where we came from, why he chose us.
I have long had this desire to return to my village, and see if I could find any trace of my family. More importantly, to see if there are any answers to my nightmares there. Ozy once bid me seek out the temple o frofirien in pranzis, and to speak to the monks there. Perhaps they could help point me in the direction I sought. Alas, the priest there chose to ignore my pleas. I think they felt my seeking the dragon who summoned me was too dangerous. Ozy told me that his location was a strict secret only a few knew of.
As I stood there unable to move, tears filling my eys as my hopes were dashed upon rocks; I asked if there was any other way we could discover were he plucked us up. Then Ozy spoke of the knowledge that records had been kept, as to where, why and when we were chosen. He said he would help me, but it would take time. I can wait now...I have hope.

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These last few days have been great! Barion and I have travelled the length of Dregar together over many days. Its the first time we have done this in months. He is such a great man. I love him so much. We accomplished much together.

He wants nothing from me but my love. And I freely give it to him, with all my heart. And yet, I feel apprehensive. I do not know why, he is my love, my heart. I think perhaps its because I have come from such a troubled past. one that I do not wish to have repeated. Or perhaps its the nightmares I have, or both.
When the 'thing' appears in my nightmares, it taunts me with knowledge of my mother, of my past. It seems to know things I don't. My father would never answer my questions about her. He would just get very quiet and distant.

When Barion is close by me, they nightmares are tolerable and the shadow will not appear. I have even had pleasant dreams, dreams of my future with Barion and our children. When I'm alone the nightmares are terrible to behold. Dreams of the past, and of the future.

My heart belongs to Barion, it always will. But I don't know if I can commit to a marriage with him, a life together, and children, if I do not get some closure on my past. I do not want him to die becsuse of me. I do not want the dreams of the past to be the nightmares of my future.

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Barion and I have decided to be married in 5-6 months. I am so happy, so full of joy...and yet, the dreams still haunt me. I want us to be happy, to have strong children, but if the dreams are real, if I am truly cursed...i cannot bring this fate down upon those whom I love.

Barion can tell there is something wrong, he is not blind. I want to open up to him, but how can I when I dont even know? I am terrified of my dreams...but if thats all they are, just dreams. He will think I'm mad, that my night terrors are just my mind playing tricks on me. And I cannot dispute this, nothing has happened, I have not met the demon that terrorizes me in my sleep. I don't even know if when I see my mother die night after night, if its real. I wasn't there for it, of that I am for certain.