The wind and the leaf

[Hellblazer]

I sent her a letter inviting her to a picnic which she was glad to accept. She sent me back the answer with her dots and ''o'' in heart shape. It was really cute to read and it shows that her feelings are growing.

We decided to head to the forest on alindor, my home land. I set up the area for us to eat and enjoy our moment together, and it was a fine moment. Laugher, kisses, holding each others. It was perfect. Not forgetting that she doesn'T hold herself back anymore to call me her love.

But at one point, she fell silent, and I could feel there was something on her mind. At first she didn't want to talk about it, but at one point she did, as her talks shifted to my life span. I knew it would come on the table at one point, but I didn't think it would be this soon. At one point she whispered ''I WILL enjoy our time together.'' It had a heavy feeling of impending doom to it, still refering that she would see me grow old while she would still be relatively young. To tell the truth, I have not met any one that knows exaclty how long my kind live. And I went ahead and whispered to her, that she should not let herself fall pray to such feelings and thoughts. As untilmatly they would spoil our time and feelings for each other. She replied as if I was reading her mind. We still have a lot of time ahead of us, and I think i have manage to reassure her of that. She also reassured me that she would not leave my side. Not too sure why she added that, but it is nice to know.

While she is helping the nearby villages near the moors, she has asked meto promise her to be careful. i did more than that. I made her a promise that I would come back to her safe and sound, every time. She didn't like that promise that much as she felt that it was a promise I may not be able to keep. But I told her that I would do everything to keep it. Even if it meant to eat a mouth full of mudd while l left the enemy pass by, until I could safely go back and report their movement. She knows how I can be when I get angry, but she also knows that I keep my promises.

*sighs a bit*

It is a fight on two fronts, the fact we wont be able to have children the natural way, and that we will age differently. But it is a war that I know is worth fighting for with all my strenght. Folian and Aeridin lending us their love and strenght, we will both pull through our fears, and grow stronger together.

[Hellblazer]

I get scorned, and blamed, and get attitude, when I am the one getting insulted. And all of that because I stood for myself and asked that Tim to leave the group I had brought together?

Well no more. They can all go drown in a maelstrom for all that I care. I will keep to me and my own. That being Me and Azai, Mirren and Marec and the wargpack. All the rest, can just go take a hike for all I care.

I am done organizing trips for such a bunch of ingrates.

[Hellblazer]

*A series of screams as loud thunk can be heard in the Arena of fort vale. The red eyed ranger, training his ki on the poor battered combat dummies. In each hit there is much anger and frustrations, as if he was trying to purge them onto the dummies*

Bunch of nimbits.

*hits*

*After a few hundred more hits and shouts, he stops and takes a towel he had brought with him, and starts to damp his head and hair. After a moment he sits and takes his journal out*


After that trip, Azai found me. I was still mad and she knew it. She told me that she understood why I had done what I did, and that she didn't blame me at all for that. Tim was being an arse after all, insulting me. And in her mind, I had all the right to tell him to leave. She was concerned about Fleur though. When I told her that I wouldn't plan any more trips and that I would stick to my own, which meant her, she smiled. But then she added and fleur, she is your friend after all.


Is she really? Does a friend act the way she does, toward a friend? I've taken her defense in the past, but not anymore. She likes to boss the other arounds, but when the others decide to lead, she gets all itsy. Azai think she was actually embarassed because she was the one who invited Tim along. I don't think so. And quite frankly, I am rather tired of being the receiving end of her attitude when ever she feels like it. So if she want's to be a friend, well first she will have some proving to do that she regrets what she said. And second, she will have to change how she deals with me, as I am sick and tired of that. I tried to be a friend to her, but each time, It gets slapped back into my face.

So no more.

Azai and I stumbled on Elgon who was also heading into the spider cave, so we teamed up and made it through the cave, bringning peace in it for a time.

I love spending time with Azai, even if there is always something that blakens our time together, mostly other people.

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel sits in his room, in front of the fountain he installed to meditate. Filcillnya snoring not to far by the fire. He sits facing the fountain his eyes closed until he picks up his journal and starts to write*

My training goes well, and Kyle is pleased with the progress I have made. I've shown him what I could do with the covered water in the glass. He said it was a start, but I had to apply that with more strength in my ki, to maximize it`s efficiency.

Since the trip to Storan, I have mostly kept to training, crafting, and seeing Azai when ever we could. I have also made a round in the battlehelms moors, but .. I don't know, I feel less compelled to help people now a days. Maybe it's just a faze, well see. I just hope my decision of keeping to me and my own, hasn't sadden Azai. But I have better things to do than to try to be friends with people that obviously miss the meaning of the word.

*He closes his journal and goes back to meditating*

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel sits in front of the fire, still in his costume for the ball. His wings tied up with two strings so he can lean on the cushions as he writes. On the dresser a plate of pie slices and a few bottles of ale, waits for Azaionna*

Well, things did not go as I expected... not at all.

This party, that she said she couldn't wait to go to, with me, was a perfect opportunity to celebrate our fifth year together. I waited for her there in this costume that cost me all my savings, because I wanted to have a great costume for her,as I knew she would have a great one for me. But instead.. she stood me up. I waited for hours, hoping that she would turn up, uncomfortable with the crowd there, until I decided to loosen up by drinking a bit. It just didn't seem worth it without her there so I left after steel handed the prize and the pie slices.

As I came home.. she wasn't there either. No notes, no nothing. I'll wait for her for a few days with this costume, if she doesn't come back by the end of the week I will try to go and return it. Maybe get some of the gold back. If not, well I'll have a costume for an other party I guess.

*He closes his journal after letting the ink dry and stares into the fire, half the time meditating, the other half wondering.*

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel comes home with Azaionna after a half won battle for the lord of Haven. He takes a moment to see to Azai before she heads to reverie in their bed, then he sits infront of his fountain, to meditate a while before taking his journal and quill*

That wench will pay, one day, By Folian I swear, the soul mother will die.

We went to help the lord of haven that had trouble with the gnolls again. The trip went rather well going down and we easlily dispatched the gnolls. But on our way out, our strongest mage died as she was dispatching one of the rear guard patrol. Unfortunatly after that, all hell broke loose. We were ambushed and trapped against a wall, both Hanta and Azaionna died. My beloved falling pray to the grasp of the soul mother. Marec and I were left on our own, with a fleeting wizard Caesarius, hiding like a coward, shrowded by his invisibility spell. I almost fell, myself, there and then, but the combine potion of Marec and Cae and my speed, got me to move away. After calling upon the darkness, I ran to an other level only to notice that the gnolls were still pursuing me I was lucky enough to evade them. I tok the time to bandgage my wounds, but I was now left all by myself in the mines, both my team mate abandoning me to my fate. And they say that Toranites are there to protect those in needs. I say it is a lie. I made haste to get out of the mine only to find my way filled with gnolls waiting for me. Calling on the darkness two more time I manage to escape some of them, but not all. They sliced me up as I exited the cave, right in the middle of a raging battle. I think Even kit was there.

Maybe I should have waited in the darkness for one of them to come back, but I doubt they would have. And I would have surely been spotted sooner and later with the same result.

I have met with the soul witch for the 8th time now. Not even reaching any of my goals yet. I feel so angry. How can I trust any one but azai now, seeing that even those that call themselves brave would leave you to your fate?

I need to think for sometime, rethink my goals, my strategies.. I don't know. But I will not leave Azai side so soon. That I swear to Folian.

*He shuts his journal with a loud tud, exasperated. And joins his beloved after taking a long bath to try and calm down*

[Hellblazer]

To be accused of something we have not done? I think some people have no shame to put the blames on others, while they could have done things differently. But that is just me I guess. But I know someone that lost a good customer.

In all cases my training keeps going, more drills and Ki applications, more meditation, and a few trips with my sweetie. Life in general seems good, and I am feeling that I am close to an other breakthrough. And soon I will be cleared of debt I have accumulated for a few gifts to Azaionna. This will be good, I will be able to concentrate myself on my new gear, but also maybe even a house for ourselves.

I can't wait for the ball, I'm nervous.. I don't know if I should or not ask her then or wait more.. Six years is not a long time for elves.. I don't know. We do love each other, although I know there is some small tension when it comes to my years expectancy, but what matter is the love we have for each other.

I need guidance I think on this matter, but who to talk to, who would be able to understand this?

[Hellblazer]

I sit amazed this night, looking at her sleep. Is this a dream, an illusion, the ale still coursing through my veins? Folian if this be a dream, never wake me up.

I sit looking at her, sleeping like the angel she is, a content and happy smile on her face for our night together. Here she lies the one that brings me joy, that makes me the luckiest man on this land.

Here she lays deeply into her reveries, reliving her memories, the smile on her face tells me a lot.

Here she is, my wife to be.

It is after the opening ball of the academy tower in Hempstead, that we went to the cliff near Blackfort castle. Earlier in the night I had almost asked her after we had dance, but searching into her eyes, I couldn't find my answer. Seven years we had been together and I couldn't tell if she was ready or not. Colin had often told me that in life, you have to take many leap of faith. On my end it wasn't, I had thought and searched my soul for a long time, and I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I knew the us, was right. But for her, I didn't. I walked blindly into the unknown. I knew she loved me, and that she wanted to cherish all the moment we would have together, to their fullest. But up until that moment, where I was kneeling down in front of her, my eyes dropping at the feeling that was coming over me, her choices of words sending chills down my spine as it felt she was about to say she wasn't ready. Something in me told me to look back up at her, with all my strength and courage she already knew, to show her there was no doubt in me, and I did. As I looked back up, a short moment happened and there she told me. Stand up my love.. my knight.. my husband to be.

This is a new journey we will embark on, and there is many things to plan ahead. I know that there is something she hasn't told me about her father yet. Something she has been holding back even when I gave her my bow. The holding back of her tears until I left the kitchen of Hlint. I could hear them. I know that her father is a ranger of Folian like Colin and I are. I can only imagine that there would be something there, but I don't want to get ahead of myself and think something that might not be. I need to talk to her about, because there is one thing sure. I need to see her father, for the man he is and for him to see me for the man I am. The one that will wed her daughter, and cherish her until my last breath, hopefully a looong... looong time from now.

I'll try to reach some contacts at the hidden temple, maybe they know where he is, maybe I can meet him myself, try to talk to him and make a surprise for Azai. But that might not be wise without knowing everything.. follow your instinct, Colin kept repeating me. My instincts tells me there is more there I need to know before I start looking for him.

And I know that there is elven traditions we have to uphold. I do not want her to push any of her traditions for me. We will go through them, what ever they are, together, as one.

Here she is, my queen, my fair lady, her smile illuminating this dark room, lite by the gentle hue of the dancing fire. My wife.. Folian, you have blessed me beyond measure, one day I shall do something that will not even come close to repay you your kindness.

[Hellblazer]

I had an other training session with Kyle the other day. I don't know I must have been still upset about the fight azai and I had, that I must have been a bit more furious in my hits. At one point I remember the look on his face as I was fleurying my two bladed sword, his eyes widening as he was taking some steps back. When his katana and my blade came into contact, I could feel the vibration in his blade and hear the ring that came from my hit. He almost drop his blade which surprised me also.

Even with that though, I still can't get the talk me and Azai had out of my head. After that talk I gave her some space through out all our trip, even when I saw she was shaken up, taking the bow I had offered her, I left her be. It tore me appart, but I knew she needed it. And of course I came to her if I saw she needed it. But even today I can feel she is still mad about it. I had never pushed this hard before and insisted about anything, but this is something that is too important to just let slide. She has the chance to make things right, to take what is ailing her and bring closure and healing over the matter, for her and her father.. if he is still alive. But yet she stubbornly refuses to even talk about it. I never saw her like this, almost as if this was a question of pride. But this pride, is going to bite her in the arse in the long run. If she doesn't at least try to patch things up with her father, the day and those after our wedding, she will always feel an emptyness in her life and always wonder what could have been if she had tried. I want her to be happy in all aspect of her life, because I love her. But all I can do now, is be there for her, listen and support her.

I think I will prepare a little picknick for the both of us and spend some time alone, in nature, listening to the birds and seeing ficillnya stuff herself with honey.

Folian give me your wisdome to find a way to help her. I know that she hurts when it comes to her family. Give me the strength and wisdom to be the best man I can be for her.

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel sits silently for long hours, contemplating his meditation fountain, holding tightly in his right hand a small piece of hide, a note. Filcillnya trying to tug at him, groaning sadly, feeling the emotions of her friend. After a while he harshly moves his arms across Filcillnya side pushing her asside, and he takes his journal where he sets the note in and starts to write.*

Fehriel,

My betrothed. You have given me much to think upon. I know you do not understand, but at present I am an orphan, and likely to remain so. I must decide if I want to remain an orphan forever or not. And if not, if I am willing to take certain steps.

I find it too hard to center myself here in the place we have made for ourselves. It is too much US and not enough just me. I like that it is US. but for this, I need to hear my own inner thoughts more clearly. I am leaving for awhile to spend time alone and get to know myself. Do not let your faith in our love fail. I will return to you, as an orphan or not remains to be seen.

May Aer *the Aer is crossed out*

May our love keep you until I return
Azaionna

She's gone.. and it's all my fault.. I only wanted her to be complete and happy .. what have I done..

*there is long pauses of the quill on the page between the small sentences.*


She says she will come back when she gets to know herself.. but what if she doesn't get to know.. or... what if she doesn't realize that she knows what she needs to know.. I may never hold her again, tell her I love her... never be able to hear her laugh.. Folian.. why.. why? WHY?


So soon after she had accepted me as to be her husband.. I know she needs it.. It's what she needs.. and I pledged to make her happy.. if this .. this is what she needs to be happy then I .. I have no choice.. no choice.


She'd want me to keep traiing, to keep living, striving and keep working within my faith. She'd want me to be strong as a pillar. So I will be.. I'll try..


Folian.. give me strength....


*the journal is left open on his meditation rug, as he leaves the house, his weapons in hands, but filcillnya stays behind in their room, her moan of one in pain as he doesn't call on her to follow.*

[Hellblazer]

It's been over a month since I have had any news from her. I do know where she is though, noticed a camp in the whitehorn that was freshly made. I saw her in deep meditation so I did not bother her. She needs that moment alone to be able to center her self or something.. I've been missing her terribly so I have decided that to try and refrain myself from rushing to her, I have plunged myself into hard training, meditation and crafting..trying to keep me occupied.

I just wish she would send me words to at least let me know if she needs anything. But I will try to be patient.

*as Tabris gets there he closes his journal*

[Hellblazer]

After speaking with Kyle the other day I needed a change of pace, and I knew it was my turn to go back to patrol the battlehelms, and so I went.

Things have been pretty much uneventful, barring random encounters with trolls and the usual lizard folk that call the marshlands and bogs in the area their home. But today was a bad day in the Moors. Not only was it raining, which means no mosquitoes, but for some reason the swampy water holes were full of leeches that attached themselves to my boots and climbed towards exposed skin in order to catch a meal. Every now and then I stoped to search my body in order to rip off the small pests that often are carriers of diseases.

As I made my way toward a small hill to make another round of leech-pulling, I suddenly found myself standing in an abandoned camp site. Telling from the number of fires and the size of the area, the group that camped here must have been numbered around 100 individuals. No trolls or lizards - of that I am certain. They secured the area by using small sharpened stakes and I stepped into one of several snares that was left behind. I also found a discarded platinum gauntlet and some leather bands along with a broken canteen. The camp fires were cold and I found no clear tracks, which tells me that the place was at least several days old - most likely a week. What I could tell is that the group arrived from the south and headed north. The small hill is located in one of the southernmost parts of the Moors.

I abandoned my initial plans to search for more leeches and leaped off the hill, jogging north through murky waters in search of tracks to lead me in a more definite direction. I continued north for two hours before I came upon a patch of dry land. There, I found more tracks. The path they took is quite clear: North. They seem to be gone, however, and could even be out of the swamps by now. I continued onward, praying silently for luck. My prayers were rewarded. After another trek of three hours towards the north I came upon harder ground and was able to follow more easily. I only got a short way, however, before I came upon another camp site. About the same age as the last one, I found no additional clues here. One thing puzzles me, however, and that is the fact that the large group split up into two smaller groups of about the same size. Both left the camp site going in a northern direction, but slightly angling east and west. I followed one of the two groups and soon found myself on soft and boggy ground again. Almost everything was covered in water and therefore I quickly lost the group. Even a group of considerable size left little behind - and whatever they left was quickly washed away by the heavy rain that is common in these parts.

Wet, tired and grumpy, I had little choice but to call it a day. At least I found something though - something to make these trips worth it. I'm quite certain that the groups in question were part of the force I was looking for...

On my way back, my instinct suddenly took over as a loud screech followed by a lot of ruckus and beastly roaring in the distance. I approached cautiously, edging forward through low bushes like a wolf stalking his prey, flat on the ground, until I arrived at a clearing. There I saw something that made me catch my breath! A hunting party of trolls is engaging a large humanoid creature, more or less looking like a large and heavily built lizard-man. Or, actually, it is the other way around. The lizard-man, winged and armed with dagger-like talons, tore into the trolls, shredding each to pieces with only two or three blows. Only moments later, twelve trolls laid dead in the murky waters around the lizard. The creature lifted it's head towards the skies and roared out a loud screech... that was answered something from the west by another. The black-skinned lizard creature then tore into one of the trolls, feeding ferociously. Not long after another appeared - although almost out of nowhere! It must have passed near my location on it's way towards the clearing, but I heard and saw nothing. The large creatures moved with incredible grace and speed, the second tearing into another troll, ripping it into two as it begins to feed also. A third appeared and then a fourth. The two at the scene stopped their feeding and some form of communication took place between the four. I was too far away to hear or see anything, however, and soon afterwards the four separated up and headed into different directions. Were those the drachs I heard about?

I realized that I had been holding my breath as they left. And let it out and continued to lie very still for what seems a very long time. By the time I started to move birds were once more heard and rodents were rustling through the tall grass.

I decided I needed to go and warn the authorities and this is what I am heading to do now. Hopefully they won't take me for a fool, or even rebuke me like that stupid man did in Hlint.

//based on a pm received by harlas.

[Hellblazer]

She is back and things are back to normal well, as much as they can be. She told me that she had the time to find herself back and that she was happy again with herself, although she did tell me that she was now doubly an orphan. She had changed the colors of her dress, now more green and deeper green, some grey too. She says she is happy with her decision, and that makes me happy. Although I haven't talked to her about her father, I think I will just try to find him on my own. I'm not sure if I will be able to find him or even get through to him. But for the total hapiness of Azai, it's worth a shot.

since she has come back, we have spent a lot more time together. because of her beliefs in the past, we couldn't travel together and help nature in our own ways. But since she came back, she has been more open to it, part of her being happy with herself again. So we have traveled in a few places that she wouldn't have gone before, and a few that we had. Her old beliefs still surface from time to time, but that is alright, I loved her then when she had them, and it wont chage now.

On an other type of news, I have finally mastered the whirlwind attack. Wait till Kyle sees that. I might surprise him with mixing it up with a flurry of blows just before using it to try and take his footing down before the attack from above. Let's see how he likes that.

Well I have more arrows to work on, I am still waiting for Arkolio to take his order.. my first arrows order. Maybe more will order some in the future.

[Hellblazer]

*Feh's head jerks back when Kyle accuses him of calling himself a master and he takes his two bladed sword into his right hand. The shaft resting on his back, one blade pointing down in diagonal from his right leg, the other coming from behind his left shoulder. He cracks his neck, never taking his eyes off of Kyle*

First of, teacher, I have never called myself a master. But if you insist.. I can prove to you that I am worthy of the title.

*The toes of his right foot fists into the ground solidifying his position, and giving him a good base to swiftly move if needed, as his left foot distance itself from the right in a classic position. There is a growl that escapes his lips that even Kyle would be able to hear, coming from deep within him as if he was calling on his inner strength. He examines the stance of Kyle, looking for a weakness, but also waiting for him to make the first move, as he knows that his true chance is in his quickness and ability to roll away from Kyle's attack in his bulky armor that took away some of Kyle's mobility.*

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel travels to the Minstone defense group with his ox in tow and a wheelbarrow that he pushes in front of him. When asked why he is there, he replies that he has things to donate for the defense of the continent. The wheelbarrow and ox are filled with bows, bolts and arrows. He starts to unpack them and give them to the people so they can count what the donation tallies to.

oak Longbows 9

arrows:
20 iron tipped hickory raven tail
720 iron tipped oak raven tail
3900 platinum tipped oak raven tail
5800 platinum tipped oak stirge tail
400 platinum tipped oak falcon tail
200 iron tipped mahogany raven tail
100 bronze tipped mahogany stirge tail
200 bronze tipped mahogany falcon tail
700 bronze tipped mahogany raven tail

bolts:
20 copper tipped hickory falcon tail

total of the donation = 314998

Fehriel watches them as they give him the total, surprised himself at the amount of work he had done.*

I will bring you more shortly, I had plans to also donate some gloves of fury to your troupes, but some browned nose hypocrites people don't know when to not dirty their nose in matters that don't concern them, so I'm sorry if I can't do that part of my plan. But I will keep the bows and arrows coming.

*He then leaves, his ox in tow, the wheelbarrow strapped on its back, now that the ox pack is empty*

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel sits by the water near Dalanthar, waiting for Azaionna to join him. He reflects and scribes down his thoughts*

He tested me and I failed. The only time I was able to beat him was when I called upon the darkness to blind him. I was ashamed of using such tactics on him. I wanted to prove to him straight up that I was ready, but I didn't manage to beat him once, fair and square. But yet, he came to me and asked me if my blade felt natural, if it was also a natural ability for me to call on the darkness, and I told him yes. So he asked me, if they feel natural, how can it be cheating? I was stumped. I had no answer to that beside one of honor. My pride had taken a beating, but yet he was right.

He wasn't testing me to see if I had superior martial abilities than him, but to see if I knew where my limits where, and if I was able to humble myself.

When he finally called me Master, I was in awe. In his eyes, I am now a brother of arms, a friend. I am a master of the blades.

[Hellblazer]

*Once again our friendly, although gruffy at times, red eyed ranger arrives at the offices of the Minstone defense group. His ox in tow and this time an other ox pulling a wagon. He waves to the officer in charge of the donation and present to him the fruits of his hard labor.*

13 Oak longbows
12 oak shortbows
1 heavy oak crossbow
2 copper longswords
1 copper Mercurial Longsword
4 copper nunchakus
2 copper sais
3 copper katars
2 copper kukris
16 copper daggers
4 Bronze longswords
1 belt of acquisition
4 bronze daggers
25 bronze darts
1 Iron Great Sword
1 stone's boots of protection
1 cloak of Az'atta
228 bronze tipped arrows of oak and stirge tail
4600 iron tipped arrows of oak and stirge tail
200 silver tipped arrows of oak and raven tail
300 platinum tipped arrows of oak and stirge tail

*The officers take their time once again to review the goods he brought them and gives him the donation tally of 142297 trues for what he brought them. They thank if for the continuous effort he does to help them and wish him well, as he leaves the place the two ox and wagon in tow*

[Hellblazer]

*Getting home from the Mistone defense office, Feh plops flat down in a heavy hoof of the mattress, pillows and covers. Azai looks at him quizzically as he gives her a tired, but yet loving smile.*

I'm sorry if I have disturbed you hun, I am just dead tired.. all the crafting, hoarding of material, picking.. pffft..

*he then shows her his hands that are filled of blisters and splinters. She gently starts to pull the splinters out and massage his hands lightly, after applying an ointment on them*

You should really take a day off dear

*She replies to him. He looks at her lovingly and nods*

I guess I should. Doesn't help that I have also trained for five hours at the arena today.

*She giggles and shakes her head at him*

Really dear.. Balance is not just in your inner self, but in your personal affairs too.

*She kisses him tenderly as he smiles at her words. Once she sets herself comfortably to get into reverie, he reaches for his journal and starts to write in it.*

Boy am I tired. I have been doing a lot of crafting for the war effort. Bows, swords, daggers of all kind, arrows also. It has taken a lot of time and effort, but it is worth it. Knowing they will be used to defend these lands makes it all worth it, no matter how many splinters I get in my fingers. I am not done though, I have more things I plan to make for them, more bows and arrows, more hand weapons. Maybe I will start making them shields too, what's good in having swords if you don't have the shield to go with it.

Even though Kyle has called me a master, I still think that I should keep training as hard.. maybe even harder. He told me I was embarking on a long road. There is always something new to learn and I expect not to let him down.. but more importantly, not to let myself down. So I spent five hours training today at the arena, not counting the other training sessions I had there lately. I intend to be ready for when the war comes to our shores, and they will need the best out of me.

*He yawns as she stirs slightly*

Hmm enough writing, my hand hurts enough already.. more work.. but tomorrow.. I think I will just spend some time with my darling.

*He closes the journal and sets himself comfortably to start sleeping, Azai shifting position to place herself into his warmth*

[Hellblazer]

It is a strange feeling to be recognize for the hard work one has put himself through. Kyle, Tralek, Vrebel and a few others have all shown me respect. They had in the past, but now that I have finally reached my goal and became a weapon master.. they seem to show me a different kind of respect. It feels good, but at the same time strange. I am no better than them as a man. Heck Kyle is probably a far better man than I could ever be. But that doesn't matter, I am who I am and I will be the best I can. No matter how much I can feel the pull sometimes to be worst than I am. I still have those nightmares, but I know now that they are dreams only.. I hope. A warning perhaps to remind me of what I could be if I didn't pay attention and pushed those instincts away? Maybe.. I don't know. But what I do know is that I have made it this far. I can surely keep on going.

With all this training, and working, I feel I may have been less than perfect of a fiancée. We have traveled together a lot more since her own changes. But we haven't spent much time just the two of us outside of our home. I kinda miss our simple walks and picnics.. So nothing better than to take the initiative I guess. I left her a note, but as I came home I saw it was moved, which means she probably read it, but she left no replies, nor has she even touched the trues I had left her, so she could bring her own touch to the decoration. And her chest for her gems are filling up. I'm not sure what she does, and I am not the kind anymore to worry about every little thing. She will do what she can or want when she does and that is just fine with me. As long as we both love and respect each other, then all will be fine in my mind. But spending more time with her doing little things that is not necessarily hunting would be definitely nice.

I keep bringing weapons and goods to the Mistone defense force, and now I have received words that the aloe I needed is ready, so my second project can get underway. I would have hoped that Azaionna would help me with it. I knew she wanted to train to make bandages, but since she hasn't even touched the greenstones and other gems I got her, I'm guessing she is busy with other stuffs. All in good time, and patience, with all the love I can give her. Is all I can do I guess. I don't think she would expect more, if she does though, I think she knows she can tell me.

Well off to start that project.

[Hellblazer]

*After a week Fehriel takes a look at the note he had left Azai about a picnic and seeing there is no answer he sight and scrunches it up and throws it in the fire. he takes some mining gear and heads out with stinky, his ox.*

Guess it's back to work. I took some time off to spend more time with her, but she was too busy. If I take more it's my effort for the Mistone defenses that I jeopardize.

I guess we'll take our time together when she is less busy.

In the mean time I have also made a deal with Nonac and Cassius. They will help me with the wood supplies i need for the arrows. I will keep a third for my personal need, a third will go to them, and the last third to the defense group.

So back to work it is.

[Hellblazer]

Well I have to say that I am baffled at the moment. She stays home and doesn't do anything, even when I proposed it and it is getting tiering. Don't know if it's me or if there is other reasons behind it, but if it is me, she should tell me so we could take a decision that would best fit the both of us.

For some time I had decided to stay close, to see if she would have a change of heart and start to go out adventuring again, but after a few months I just couldn't stand not moving around in the forest. So I started to go back to my own routines. I've learned new tricks not to long ago. But I've also came closely involved in some of the warfare against the drach.

We manage to stop them from getting the book, which is good.

Well I guess I got some thinking to do.

[Hellblazer]

*In the middle of the night, loud talks can be heard from Fehriel's house*

Azai.. I can't stand this.. it's been five years since you have recluse yourself here, to yourself, keeping me in the dark of what is happening to you. Seeing you like this is killing me and I can't stand this anymore.. I love you Azai.. I truly do.. but this can't go on, maybe one day when you have found yourself and answers maybe then.

*After a moment Feh leaves the house with his pack and comes back a few weeks later to see their room untouched and his fiancée no where to be found. With heavy heart he packs her last belongings, the things he had given her and she had not taken with her, he walks to the front door and opens it. From the outside, A bag can be seen flying out of the door hitting straight on the other house meters away, the bag splitting open with the force of the throw. The door finally closes slowly an enraged but heart broken howl coming from inside the house.*

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel looks at his journal for a while before starting to write*

Here I go again, writing in you, journal of my dreaded past, reminder of broken dreams, pain and frustration.

I write in you not to give news or joy or future plans, but to write down the fact that I have passed on the knowledge of the weapon masters, as Kyle has done to me.

Vrebel was a fine candidate to start with. A good fighter, a good friend. Good heart to go with it. And when he showed interest in some of the things I could do I knew that sooner or later he would come and ask me. And in such he did.

So over the last year, I have been training him. First training his mind, to discover his ki. Then showing him different technics. He trained hard and long for it, and gave me a beating to remember for. I have to remember not to teach people in the future that could send me to my grave in the last test.

I am pleased though to call him a brother, a master.

[Hellblazer]

Well I might as well write down the important things at least to keep track.

First I have trained Tralek into a few of my tricks, Hitting in the weak spots, rolling around and tumbling around to avoid being hit and also to reposition himself. I have taught him how to move silently and also how to sneak around. All he has to do now, is train on what I have taught him and put it in application.

I had hoped to see my friends about my idea for a shelter and refuge for the poor and those that lost their livings pace in the tsunamis that hit Hempstead, Krandor and Krask. But I guess I should be used to it by now, no one showed up at the time I had invited them. Well beside Marec, to which I had to tell him it was off. I guess I'll do things on my own instead. Going to be longer to do, but there is less chances of being let down. Beside I'm still waiting to see the diet. Unfortunately I was unable to make the last town council meeting, but I will make sure to make the next.

At least out of all of the things that has happened in the last few months, I can say that something new and good has happened. I have grown closer to Talia and she will move in. It's still a bit new and all, and I think that caught her by surprise. But I can not hid my nature and how I was brought up. In a pack, the alpha wolf, doesn't take years to court who will be his Prime female. Maybe I shouldn't base to much on that, but it's all I know. She wants me to teach her how to make arrows, thinking that she would be a burden if I made it for her. Never, but still, I will teach her.

[Hellblazer]

Well I can safely say that I know Hanta is training. I have heard her many times practice her sword on the combat dummy. I have to prepare for the next session, it's coming in a few days now.

I'm still waiting for that towns meeting. It aggravates me that I have missed the other one, but such is life. I just hope they find the idea interesting and that they give me the right to start the project. I'm guessing Talia, Vreb and tray were right in saying I should not go without the towns approval. Imagine if the shelter was under construction and they came telling me to stop, lacking the proper authorization.. At the same time.. it's just more bureaucracy. More restrictions.. more strictness. But to live in this world, where order is present almost anywhere.. I have to make due even if the very fibers of my being screams to be let loose.

On the other hand.. my training in enchanting has paid off, I am able to do first power rods almost without flaw now. My resistance dust making has improved also. So that is one step closer to achieving my two goals. I will surely still need help to get the materials, but that will end there I think. Can not rely on people, I guess that's why Folian is more of a loner.

I sent a letter to Talia the other day. I have not seen her in some times, and she hasn't moved any of her stuff in either. Guess it was just a phase on her part.

[Hellblazer]

What can I write else than what is happening lately?

Hanta's training is going well. She says she has finally found her Ki. I believe her, but we will see. Finding it is one thing, learning to apply it is an other. Her meditation training will help her greatly in this. To be as still as a soft river and as powerful as the strongest torrent. It is not easy to reach, but I have faith that she can.

Melana on the other hand makes me pause. Why does she want to be a weapon master, beside the appeal of power and the use she could make of it for revenge. This is not what a weapon master is about. It's the pursuit of perfecting oneself, and one art. To have your weapon become part of you, to become you. It's not a question of power, or having the ability to avenge someone or something that has happened to you in the past. No matter how strong a weapon master she could become, no matter how many people falls to her blade. It would never change the past and wouldn't erase her memories. Sure it could give her a small satisfaction at the moment, but what happens in a few weeks, a few months when her mind dwindle on the events that brought her to that path? Will the void that was being left in her by the wrong doing of people be filled? No, I don't believe it will. For her I think I will concentrate more on the peaceful nature of her Ki. More meditation training than applying it to her weapon. At least at first, in hopes to bring peace to her mind. I can not in good conscience leave her with my knowledge in a way that could bring harm to someone that is innocent of ones actions. Would the child of the murdered father be guilty for his fathers action against her? Or of his mother's wrong doings toward Melana? She has to learn to forgive the others, and herself, before she can master her weapon. As you can not be one with it and it can not be one with you, if you are not even able to master yourself. She will have a long and hard road in front of her, I just hope she is apt for it.

As for Talia, sweet Talia. Things are well. We are trying to find something she would like to do and would help me in someways without impeding with each others work. Or maybe I'm going at this the wrong way. Sure I would love to be able to do my enchantments, but nothing should prevent me from learning and her also? It may take more resources that way, but together we make a good pair. Her healing skills and blessing augments me, and in the same way, my swords and I shelters her from harm... I hope. I'll talk to her about it, see if she wants to combine her efforts with mine.

I am still waiting to meet the diet of Lor. I was hoping there would be an other meeting soon, but it doesn't seem to. Maybe I should petition for a special hearing or something.

[Hellblazer]

Life has picked up a bit.

I have been training in enchanting a lot lately and I'm happy to say that I have progressed greatly. I am now good enough to start selling the starting and second grade elemental enchantments with my arrows. It may ruffles some feathers that I don't charge a dime for the enchanting of the arrows. But I personally think that any one charging a hefty price for a perishable good, is taking advantage of his customers. It's enough that people go through arrows quickly, but to charge them full price and on top of that charging the market trade up of enchantment is just ludicrous. Beside from my research, it seems I am the only one in the market of selling arrows. So I may have well started the market for them, and set a reasonable price.

Hanta has made some good progress in her training. I have shown her how the Ki could be applied. Of course shattering a glass, could be seen as parlor trick, and I did tell her not to expect being able to do this to her enemies. But the application of her Ki into a strike will break them. Just not as the glass did.

From Melana I have not heard since the last time. I will send her a letter soon. Hopefully she will have found and understood the meaning of what I told her.

I have found peace with Talia. I find it easy to let her know of how I feel, and for the first time I m not afraid. She seems to have accepted me for who I am, and she hasn't shown any reserve toward what I am. My feelings for her are growing every day. I still haven't talked to her about taking up the enchanting part of Cailomel archery. I don't plan of making guild of any sort.. it would be quite illogical for me to do so.

[Hellblazer]

I have started training Melana today, with great reservation.

Her attitude, he lust for power to make people fear her, I know it's to get back at some people that hurted her in the past. Why would she always touch her arm when she talks about them otherwise? What I worry about, is not that she would hurt someone that wronged her. But in her quest for revenge, she might hurt more people than she intends to. Those that are innocent of what the others did to her, but are interconnected due to their ties with the wrong doers. Maybe I am doing something wrong here, training her and all. But it's my hope that once she discover the potentials, that she might feel that petty revenge is below her now.

In any case, for now I will break her attitude. I warned her that every time she would snare at me, there would be consequences. I think the 200 pounds push ups I made her do, is a sign that I am not joking around.

Also I am asking much more out of her than the others. I had Vrebel and Hanta train 200 times a day the technics. In their case it was for their muscle to memorize the motion and to reach perfection with them. In her case.. it's to break her, and show her discipline.

But for now, until she proves herself, I will refrain from teaching her the essential part of the training. I will not teach her how to master her Ki until she shows that her motivations have changed.

Might be time I get with Kyle again and talk to him about his idea for the academy. I think it is important that we come up with a code of conduct for our trainees, a code of life of the Weapon Masters. How to police their adherence to it once they have reach mastery is an other matter. But hopefully by then, the code will be entrenched in them and they will live by it.

In the next few days I will meet with Hanta for her next training.

[Hellblazer]

What a Glorious week this has been.

First, I have traveled extensively with Talia and other friends. I have become stronger as a weapon master, and this is utterly satisfying. But as an icing on a cake, I have spent memorable moments with the woman I love. I hope she appreciated the moments too. I have much to tell her when she wakes up.

I have met with the lore diets finally*, but truly not in the manner I would have expected. Me and others, including Angela, Alantha, Vreb and Tray, and many others. Ended up saving two of the diets from the hands of kidnappers and of Rael's guards who were too eager to destroy the tower they were being held in disregarding the possibility of them being still alive. It shows two things, one Lor truly needs it's own force. Two, Rael is willing to stoop to all heights to stomp on the liberties of others. Killing the diets would only serve him as he would have probably be able to place mauls in Lor council. Ensuring his control over the region. But in both case.. that didn't work out to well for him today. First, we got the diets out safe and sound.. all three of them. Truly Angela has a funny sense of being safe. But at least we got them all out safe and sound. And fore most, two more diets has rallied to her cause. I have let her know that if she gets approval for her army, that I am willing to train them.

I'm sure there are many qualified person for it, but I can train them in multitude of ways. First I am a ranger, wilderness knowledge, tracking, hunting strategies and games. I am also what some calls a Rogue, hiding, shadowing, hitting them in the most painful areas of the bodies. And of course, a weapon master. Training them to become masters of themselves and weapons, the discipline, the inner strengths and myriads of technics. Having an army filled with those skills would be something to reckon and quake in front of. I think even Rael would think twice before taking them on. Even more so if I train the whole army to be somewhat like me *there is an ink spot at that point as if he is thinking of something* Now that would be a funny thought. An army of mini Fehriel's .. err okay back to being slightly more serious. What is important is the skills I can bring and teach them.

But what is even more enjoyable about this, is that even though I didn't even think of saving the diets with the hope that they would be obliged to me, they still have decided to approve my request, and allow me to open my shelter in Castle masks outskirts. This is great news to me and I think Talia will be please also about this. This mean that in a soon future, I will be able to have the house expanded and remodeled so that I can loge those that have lost their homes in the tsunamis, but also the poor. It's time I set things in motion on this now. Raise the funds, the building materials, and find a very good contractor.

Also.. I have found out that I like working with Talia on our crafting.. and it had me think a lot during our travel. Maybe opening a shop wouldn't be such a stretch for me. Nothing big. just me her and maybe three others, and that would be it. Cailomel goods and wares, she liked the name and even more the Idea. She is such a sweetness all in herself. But that will come after the shelter. Priorities is to open the shelter first, there are many that will need this.

Boy, would I have ever expected all these things to happen to me when I left wolfswood? Things were much simpler then, but I wanted to make my mark, on my own to become what ever I could become and I think I am getting there with the years. First becoming a weapon master, Kyle who wants me to help him with his academy when he is ready for it. Training Vrebel, Hanta, Melana and even Tralek. Opening my shelter.. a possible small shop in the future.. and if her plans go well, maybe even train an army? Would I have been foretold that I would be involved in all those things, not even counting all the adventures I've had, saving peoples and towns and making sure that the Drachs army would not get the book to the path of the claws, I would surely have told that person that he had fallen one too many times on the head. But it is happening to me, and to make all of this even more worthwhile. I can share all of this with my sweet angel, Talia.

// * thanks mix!

[Hellblazer]

As Vrebel, Gorm, Tray and myself were hunting in the great forest we saw a large and dark mass fly over us in the sky, blocking the sun for a moment. Looking like a dragon we were somewhat apprehensive that it might be attacking Hilm so we made our way there to see what was happening. Thats where we met up with many people, including Angela and Storold. It was good to see her again, if I can help her, then this is good, diet as she is, she needs the support of those that lives in her territory. In anycase it turns out that the group we stumbled uppon were on a secret mission against the cult. What I didn't know though is that Hilm seems to be a bastion for Toran.. I felt truly out of place and I couldn't shake the feeling that something my jump out of the corner back stabbing me. But in any case we made our way out of the town once the preparation were done.

It's traveling to the boat we were to take to infiltrate the Khul kingdom that I have met for the first time, some centaurs. magnificent beast, but they had the audacity to call me a murderer, because I fought giants and screecher's that would attack the near by settlements. But that is their views, I have my own. I kill only those that fights me, I do not hunt their children or the mothers of their children. If that makes me a murderer then any one who eats is one, and so are they. I had a great drawing I made of them.. but well you know me and boats. Once they left that is exactly on what we got on. The first two days were fine, the peppermint leaves were helping. But during the evening of the second day and through the third.. The swells picked up and well, let's just say I had better days. On the third though, we almost got attacked by a dragon on the ship but it went away, warning his friends. To which we were greeted by when we were close to debarking. Many huge dragons came rushing to the boat, they seemed slow and barely able to fly. Of course the troops they had dropped on us, probably made them slower, but still at the same time, I wonder if the rapid growth the cult put them through, might not make them weak in some sense.

Anyhow, we dispatch easily of the Drach they had brought us on board, and made quick way to the shore. For an other few days we made our ways inland, through the desert and we finally found their hidden base of operation.. probably not the only one but still. It was a hard fight going there, and even inside of it. Which we would never had found our way in, if Galathea hadn't talked to the rocks, opening the secret passage.

Inside was an other story, we fought many of their Drachs and Gara and garrison, monks and the likes. But even more, we fought one of their corrupted dragons, and we came out victorious. I can't believe that I stood toe to toe with a dragon, and neither would most I guess. I have a nice souvenir though, a scale I cut from it's back. It was already decaying and brittle when I set it in the box. Strange thing that is, we had just killed it too.

We served them a crippling strike today, one more dragon less for them to use. It's not the only one, but I'm sure that with more strikes like this, it will tip the advantage our side.

On other news, I have talked to each persons I wanted to have taken part in the shop when it is time to open it. Each of them have agreed to my terms. But first I have to finish the shelter.

//Plot quest ran by Dezza

[Hellblazer]

Gave Melana an other training session today. She has show some good improvement, and also appears to at least be trying to leave her attitude out of the training, which will surely benefit her in the long run. Being a weapon master is much more than just being good at using your weapon. It is also being good at keeping a disciplined mind. It doesn't mean you have to be stoic, frigid, and a soldier drone like. Just knowing when to act or when to listen. I gave her a taste of what the ki attack is, but I didn't tell her how to do it. That is one part that she will have to meditate on. Unless I see some real changes within her, more than just trying, I will not teach her this crucial part.

Talia and I have decided to adopt two children, we will be going to see Jilseponie soon, to see if there is any that we could take home with us. That will be such a difference, it's slightly daunting. Up until now I had only myself and nature to take care of, beside of course Talia. Not that I have to, because she can take care of herself well. But because I love to. But two children will be something utterly different. I'm not even sure where to start from.

And with that always comes a dark spot on my pages. Steel has approached me and others about what he will be doing soon for big red. And I can't say I am thrilled by it. I have a long and hard thought process to do soon, to see if I will help him. But to work with Corathites... I will need some ground shaking convincing that it's for a greater good. Talia, how ever, has shown once again her love and support in this. She will be there by me if she is able to, through this. But even her would not deal with the Corathites or even the blacks for that matter. Maybe this brings a better opportunity how ever. To learn of them, gather information on them, and then turn them in, once the deal is done and Big red has agreed to join our fight against the Cult. Although I am not even sure that is a great idea.. what will be held over our heads afterwards for his help in this, I wonder?

[Hellblazer]

*Fehriel stands over the work bench, a smile on his face. He polishes the yew bows he just made. Two long bows and one short bow. His mind drifts toward the shelter for the homeless and poor.*

"It's one step closer."

*In his head he is already planning what he has to do next. The compound parts. Getting the material needed for the mighty parts. And then getting the materials for the resistance.*

"Hmm, should I give the option of training the bow? That would surely put more worth to it, but at the same time, they might not want to lose the versatility of an untrained bow."

*As he gets home to spend some time with Talia, he takes a moment to write his thoughts down.*

I am happy. I was nervous working on these bows, knowing the importance they have for the fund raiser. Had I failed on all my attempts, I would have been needlessly delayed. But Folian was watching over me, and he allowed me to succeed. I am hoping that the people will take to heart the blight that has stricken those who lost their homes and all their possessions. And that they will bid generously. That money is not for me, of course it is my house that will be remodeled. A new floor being constructed for where I will live with Talia, our two adopted children, and of course the rooms of Idoran and Jedediah. But mostly, it's the fact that the interior of the original floor will be redone completely to accommodate close to a hundred people. The beds, the dividers. The baths and kitchen for all of them. I will also have five rooms made for families to be able to stick together. It is always easier this way, but unfortunately I can not accommodate all of them.

With the tsunamis that has hit Mistone, a lot of people lost their homes, more were even injured. And with the partnership I have established with the healing house of Galathea, those that are now able to leave will be able to reside in my shelter until they find themselves a new place to live. And if some come to my house, to greatly hurt or sick for me and Talia to deal with, with all of the other people in the shelter. I will be able to send them to her healing house, this way the people in the shelter will remain free of sickness. And those that needs it will be able to receive a more personalized care from a staff that are specialized in what they are doing. Not that Talia is not a fine healer. But we have to think of the other people that will live in the shelter. We can not put their health at risk while trying to treat an infection that could spread to the others.

Once the bows are done, it will be time for us to get more mithril for the weapons I wish to make and then auctioned.

Folian, may you bless our endeavor, and may you favor the shelter as it is aimed to help those in needs as a pack would aid each members.

[Hellblazer]

*On this page is tacked a receipt of exchange for goods and work. It reads*

As agreed by both party, thus Fehriel Cailomel and Galathea Arnaduillae. There will be an exchange of work of 340 platinum ingots from Fehriel Cailomel to Galathea Arnaduillae, for two greater rings of wisdom, a consecrated greater amulet of wisdom, and a greater acid resistance.

This exchange of platinum is to be made on a no set delivery date, but as need may be.

Signed by
Fehriel Cailomel
*A wolf print is drawn under his name*

Galathea Arnaduillae



~~

Well I have secured the work on the jewelry and greater acid resistance. It will take me a while to get that platy, but it is a good deal. Even more so that I provided the materials needed to make those items. And Talia was the one to get the emeralds in the first place. This way I don't have to use the fund I am saving up for the shelter, which is a very good thing. And it gives me and Talia something to do together for her things.

Well the compound parts are made. Now only waiting for the delivery of the cranberries so I can make the essence of power for the mighty parts

[Hellblazer]

How can I have become the world most luckiest man?

I don't know how to write this, but through years of strife and struggles, with those around me, and from within myself. I have met the most wonderful, caring and understanding women on Layonara. We complete each others, even if we have our different faiths, but yet even our faiths are allied to one an other. What else could I ask more, beside Aeridin to bless us even more and find a way for us to have our own flesh and blood. But I know this is a wish that will never come. But yet, we will still have our own wolf-lings running around our house. As we have decided that we would adopt.

Talia had decided to show me her dress she would wear as we would go and adopt the children, and I decided to show her the ones I have, for her to decide which was better. But when I saw her.. I was floored. My jaw was so wide open than a bird could have nested in it. She was simply and utterly breath taking. I couldn't resist but to dance with her in our hall way, at our own rhythm. And it is not exactly how I had already thought of asking her, but this seemed even a better moment to do so. The pure happiness that I felt emanating from her at that precise moment, the calmness and peace she brings me, each time I think of her, see her or hold her. There could not have been any more wonderful moment to ask her. And I did, and she said yes. She burster in tears when I did, but it was tears of happiness. For a moment I was worried, but her hand on my cheek and her loving eyes looking in mine when she said, yes!, washed all my worried thoughts away. And truly, I can now say that all that I am, all that I was, is there in her perfect eyes. It's all I would wish to see for the rest of my life, waking up each and every morning by her side.

With that we have started to prepare the wedding. I think we have found where we will hold it. We have wandered for the past few weeks on Mistone, going sight seeing, but there is one place that stuck for both of us. And now, to symbolize each other becoming part of the other, completing each others. We will have rings blessed by clerics of each own faiths. Well of course she has the easy end of the stick, she is a cleric of Lucinda herself, so she will be able to bless the ring that she will put on my finger. I on the other hand will have to go with Enzo to our temple on dregar and see a high priest there for him to bless the ring I will slip on her finger. We also decided that we would each have a cleric of our faith. One of Folian, and one of Lucinda. I already asked Enzo, and if he can he said he would happily do this for me. I don't know if Talia already has found someone of her church to be her cleric.

I have to talk to Gorm about the drinks and food for after the ceremony.

So much to do.

I had also a bad moment on a trip to the deep. I found out Hanta was a toranite, well she says she only does lip service to many gods, but Talia prayer came as she was an enemy of Lucinda. Not just unfriendly.. but an enemy. I was furious.. at myself, but at her also. I wanted to cut her down for her deception. My fear of them coming to slain me flashing in front of my eyes. But the hand of Talia stopped me. There was a lot of talk, people telling me to calm down and not to bring this up now, but how could they understand? How can you just act as nothing had happened when your worst enemy is standing right in front of you, ready at a moments notice to bring the blade to your throat and bleed every drop of your life source out of you? But at the same time.. as Talia whispered to my ears, how could I dismissed the years that we had known each other, me being blind about who she followed. True we had never discussed of faith, and she had never shown to follow any. But still. So I made one thing that I knew she could not betray. I knew how honorable she was, and so I acted on it. I gave her my Folian's fang dagger for her to bind herself in a blood oath that she would never bring harm to me or my family. I was satisfied that her vow she made in front of all in the party would be respected.. I have no choice anyways to believe it will. It will take some time for all of it to sink into me. Can I really trust her? I guess so, but is it Wise? Only time will tell.

As for her training, she needs to learn to let the blade be her own extension, and let it work for her without her thinking of what to do. For it to become instinctual, and for her to be able to feel through her sword as if it was her own fingertips. It's not just to master the movements, it's for her to form that connection with her sword that will make it a part of her that she would feel deprived without it.

And now for the shelter and the shop. I think I will open the shop as soon as possible and still work on opening the shelter at the same time. We are ready for it, that is not a problem. But I feel it's the right thing to do. The shelter will take some more time to raise all the funds, and also the weapons to auction, and have the architect finish the plans for the renovations. While the shop could be open in only a matter of a month or so, the city council of the town I want to open it, agreeing to it of course.

So much to do. So much to think. I'm blessed that Talia helps me with everything, whither it be her hands working with mine, or just her presence by my side. Folian, you have blessed me with more than I could even imagine. Soon, my prince I hope to do something that will be worthy of your sight.

[Hellblazer]

Things are progressing rapidely.

I have received the permit to open Cailomel Goods and Wares, which is great.

Also Kobal has made my weapons and has agreed to an exchange of wears instead of money, which is also very good. He said he would have some items to donate for the shelter. That will be great. Tralek, Vrebel, Jilesponie, Kobal and Gormungard, are the first names to scribe on the statue of Benefactors. Now I hope the people will bid with generosity.

[Hellblazer]

That miserable piece of cow dung of a halfling...

Calling me worthless ? A control freak? Since when has it been of his business anyways? If he had truly felt love in his life, he would be scared for the one he loves each and every time, she would be traveling out in the wild, facing what we faced today. He would be wishing for her well being, and he would take the steps to make sure she was safe. Would it have been hard to just wait so she could rest to recast her spells? No, it wouldn't have been. it would have been the wise thing to do, the caring thing to do. But he obviously has no notion about it, but of his pitiful self.

So I'm done with that scumbag. He talks about the past? Yes, I have been with three woman since I started traveling 21 years ago. But all of that has done only one thing. Prepare me for the one true important person of my live, after Folian. Talia. That's all that matters. That I have learned through each experiences, so that I have become a better man for her. And so what if she had other loves in her life. It would have prepared her for what is important for her.

Not every one can have the perfect life right from the start. Some goes through hardship to find that place where they belong, that someone that completes them. And I can say, I have found her. Can he say the same?

If it was my guess, I'd say he is jealous because he never could build up the stomach to act when it was time. I remember how Keppli used to look at him, and how he used to react around her. But he let that pass, and now he takes it out on others. Well that only show how a low life a person he has become with the time. And I personally don't have time to waste on such a person. He seems to take pleasure into finding ways to hurt others. Well he can play that game alone, because in the end, that is what will happen to him. He will find himself to die alone in his bed, or on the field, wondering how he wasted his life.

I only Hope that Talia didn't take to heart what has happened, due to this jerk reptilian tongue. I know she hasn't had the easiest of life, having her own losses. And what he said could have easily hurt her even more than me. I'm used to those kind of things. Even if they still hurt on the moment, I can live with those bassard being what they are. But she is gentle, and I would hate for her to put herself and her happiness into question because of this worthless piece of dung that Tod has become.

[Hellblazer]

The wedding is coming soon. Only a few months left, but I'm not worried, everything is prepared. It will be a glorious day for sure, the joining of our two lives, our two hearts, into one. I have gone through the pits of hells in my life, many hardship when it came to the matter of my heart. But despite all of it, I came out stronger and grown. And now with Talia, I will walk the rest of my life.

There's a few things that also happened. We have a daughter now. Not from our own flesh and blood, that we know could never happen. But still, she is our daughter now. Her name is Liliah Daphne... Cailomel. She is a precious gem that is for sure, so tiny.. so innocent.

We were hired by her father to rescue her, I knew he was hiding somethings from the start, but still we decided to go and get her. After a few hours of tracking them, we finally caught up with the Kidnappers. I went to talk to them, trying to see their intentions, what they wanted. But they were trying their best to guard them self from being discovered. Needless to say they started to attack us, so we dealt with them, protecting the baby at all cost. One thing they had told us, is that she was payment for something, and that there was no turning back on the deal.

With that in mind, we made our way back to the town, where I proposed to those in ear shot and not tarrying behind, to tell the father she had died. I wanted to know exactly why this had happened, and this was the best way for it. As I told this to the father, he fell to his knees crying and then the mother who we were told was dead came in. When she realized the child was dead, and that he had sent us to retrieve us she stabbed him, yelling at him and cursing him. Galathea tried to get in the way so the woman turned on her and died from one of Galathea's spell. The man even more in grief wanted to die from his wounds, but he wasn't that badly hurt. And after a while of trying to convince him that he had other choices, Galathea just raised his woman.

In the end of it all they were faced with one choice. To live at Audira with the Az'attans and have a chance to see their daughter when she was old enough to make the choice, or to stay there and await the return of the Corathites the woman had hired to kill both their families to inherited their estates, so they could finish them off. She chose the late, stating she would find a way for them to survive, enticing him to come with her, even though she had tried to kill him. So we gave him the same choice, his life with the possibility to see his daughter again in the future, or death in the near future by the Corathites. He chose his wife over his daughter, proof he had not that much love for her in the first place. I am convince that when the Corathites will come for them, the woman will sell of her husband for her own life, then he will truly see what monster she married. But at that point it will be too late.

And now we have a daughter, entrusted to use by the group, and Galathea. We gave her the name of Liliah, and decided she should also keep her old one. One day when she is old enough to understand we will make things known to her. But for now, we will raise her as if she was ours, with love care and dedication.

I have to remember to send a letter to Colin, inviting him to come at the wedding, but also to meet his granddaughter.

*He looks at the baby that was on his lap all this time, smiling and let's the ink dry as he goes to take a walk with her.*

[Hellblazer]

I have kept myself busy as of late, much more than usual. I guess I'm nervous about the wedding. But not about us going through it but more of.. if I'm going to be all the man I can be for her.

No..it's something much deeper.. I'm not sure what it is exactly.. I just know that even though I'm feeling complete with Talia, that all is feeling right and that I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, there is something missing. It's nothing that would make me come back on my decisions of late, or on my love for Talia, but I feel like I'm destined to do more than what I have done. More than the shop, more than the shelter.

What I know is that all my life, I have been longing to find my place, and even though I have found it by her side, there is still part of me that is howling for more. I do know that I miss the feeling of the pack. When Selaan was raising me, we ate, hunted, slept with the pack of wolves that she was caring for. This is something that I have been missing, but it's not just that. Back then, we used to tend to the forest, care for the animals and maintained the delicate balance that existed. That's something I have left aside a bit. I still care for them, love them. But I haven't been as active as I used to be in terms of tending to the forest and it's inhabitant.

I miss that feeling of hunting what is unbalancing it, unbalancing the equilibrium that my pack was so dependent upon for their survival. Me, Colin and Selaan used to hunt the poachers and trappers, when they were not respecting nature. Teaching them about other ways to go around and get what they needed, instead of just killing and taken what they wanted, and leaving the rest to rot. Sure the forest took care of that, but if you do it too much after a time, even the forest can't keep up. And those that were unwilling to learn or change, well let's just say that we dealt them what natures laws dictated.

With the shop that is going to be a balancing act, of only taking what is needed and not overly so. But it's something I'm sure well be able to reach. But that's not it.

I guess.. it's more the fact that Selaan was more than just my adoptive mother. She was my guide, my teacher. Teaching me the ways of Folian and giving me guidance, even in the more spiritual aspect of the hunts. Yes, I think that's it. It's that guidance I miss the most. She was like a primal female. I don't think Colin was a priest though, but I never asked, and he never shown anything more than being a ranger, but a lot of Folian rangers are also priest. I never asked him, maybe I should at the wedding. But I think that's what I'm missing. I'm not planning to become a priest hehe that wouldn't be me at all, but that bonding with other Folianites, having a pack to belong to, to call your brothers, sisters, parents. Sure I can always go visit Colin, that's not exactly what I mean. It's more than having your own family, more than having friends. It's faith, family, hunt, companionship, communing all in one. Belonging to a pack, is being part of the survival and growth of not just your own, but all that is part of it.

A much as I would have my own little pack, I can not guide them spiritually as a primal pair could. But as being part of a pack, I could help them grow and they could always rely on the primal pairs to offer them the spiritual guidance that I wouldn't be able to provide for them.

It's clear to me what is haunting me now. What I've been missing to complete the completeness I already have with Talia and Lily. It's not something that any of the two should worry about, in fact, and in her ways, Talia already have that bond with Lucy. She in fact would be consider a primal, were she married to a priest herself, and any child she would have, any friends that joined with them to form a covenant would be a pack. I'm sure she can understand that. I should talk to her about it of course, we keep nothing from one an other. But I'm sure she will understand and approve for me to try and find myself a new pack, closer to our house.

I only wish that if I find them, they will accept me as one of theirs.

[Hellblazer]

That low life, dark elf, son of a ..

He kisses her even though she is about to get married, he gets her drunk and kisses her and tells her he loves her, he barely knows her and he knows she is getting married.. and then he brings her up in a room after she passed out? She was in tears when she told me what had happened, I will never forgive him, and he will pay one day for it.

It will only benefit the world so much more, one less dark elf, women wont have to be afraid of being drunk, drugged and taken advantage of them, at least Talia is sure nothing happened after he got he to the room. And it will only be for the greater good of my family. Talia's honor will be avenged, and there will be no more fear of him trying again. But.. revenge as good as it may feel, is not the solution. So I'm closing this chapter for now.

Even with that, my love for her has not changed, and I know she feels the same, and yesterday we were wed. The wedding was grand, beautiful, exciting. I almost died when I saw her walk down the isle, as beautiful as an angel. She is and will always be the only one for me. And I will live, providing and making sure that she will always be safe and happy. I was doubly blessed that day as even Colin was able to come. I was glad to present him to Talia, and to present Talia and Liliah to him. He was surprised to say the least, and even when I told him the stories, he told me

"I can see that you still always get yourself in the weirdest of situations, but you take care of those two ladies you hear me? And come visit more often"

I am blessed and truly happy. I can not wait to see what life has for me in reserve now, I am no longer a lone wolf carrying all on my shoulders. I have someone to share everything with, and she can also share everything with me.

[Hellblazer]

Talia is such a blessing.

I understand that she is not one to look to do many things, she likes to keep things simple and do what she feels she needs to do. And I love her for that, for this simplicity she brings to me. While I on the other hand feel that I need to do more for those around me. Not necessarily in ways that people would understand at first or even like all the time. But it is something that I am compelled to do, in my own ways. And in such, with her support and her understanding and her help, I have presented myself for the elections of Lor.

There is two vacant seats that needs to be filled, and I feel I could bring a lot to the town, and so does she. Working with the people to improve their lives, training the militia so that the streets are much safe. Opening learning centers so that those who wishes to learn to read, write and count may learn so. Also for the children. This is something that is important. I understand now why Selaan felt I needed to receive a proper education. It was for moments just like theses, where she knew that without it, life would be much harder. And with a better education, the economy will only stand better, and Lor could become a beacon of commerce through the lands. Not just with Prantz. And if I am elected, I would also strive to better the healing needs of the people in Lor and around. I could probably work with Galathea so that her hospital could receive those too sick to be treated in Lor, and that her staff if able to, could also work In Lor and castle mask. That's a plan I will bring to her if I am elected.

But for now, I take the time to speak to the people, simply speak with them, and give them the time to learn who I am, what I wish to do for them, with them. I hope to leave the impression in their thoughts, that I am not there to bolster dealings with my trading company, or expand my riches through the dealings of the cities. No, I wish for them to know of my beginnings, living in a near state of poverty, of the struggles I went through in life, just like most of them have and do, so that they know I am one of them. Of the bond of family and friends. The strength that comes from it. And that they know I am here to represent and work for them.

I hope I can leave that impression. And I hope that the person they choose will be at least like minded as me. The town needs people who would think about them first and not of their own interest or the interest of Prantz.

But win or loose, elected or not. I know one thing. I will have tried to make things better. And I also know that, each day that I come home, and that Talia is there, we will always be able to count on each others and love each other. Each and every day I know that she will be proud of me, because I am trying to make things better. That in it self, is a victory for me.