Barion Firesteed( thoughts of a fighter)

[jan]

*Writen asif in haste are a few words *

I need to find a way to get rid of this bloodlust....its getting too hard to resist...
I'm only happy when holding my blade and killing opponents..or when i'm with Sab....
Must find a way to stop it...

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*The writing looks like done with a steady hand*

Finaly i had some time to think and train in solitude.
Training to become the best is going well,the lust for blood as i call it helps with training.
Pondering about the "why"i'm so bloodthursty,made me come to a conclusion.
Since the fighting is so normal to me now, i think i use it to not have to think about certain things.
Instinctively i run away into the only thing that comes natural to me Swinging my blade to destroy whatever
opposes me.
There are days that the blood of the slain giants is so thick,i have to wash multiple times to get it off.
Training so intensely,i have desided to try and swing two weapons at the same time.
The swinging goes well,only have trouble to keep up my defence due to the fact i fight with out shield.
I'm getting more and more used to the style,but will need time to perfect it.
Sab and i are doing great,we see eachother as much as possible and cherish the moments we have together.
Looking at Sab,i have a feeling she wants to take some time off from study for a special thing.
I think she's working on getting pregnant*smiles*looks like she too has the wish to become a parent.
Life is going its way and i am traveling more with the company then before.
When she's around,i like to travell with Dorena.
She and i like eachother a lot and we always have fun together.
I told her i admire her *smiles* she didnt understand and asked me why.
Smiling to her i told her that she is a beautiful woman and that giving birth hadn't changed her looks or wit*grins*
With a big red head she thanked me and reminded me that she is maried and i'm about to be maried*grins wide*
That gave me the opportunity to tease her a bit *smiles*and we ended up in the oasis of Saudiria playing like children.
When i'm with her i get the feeling of my youth back in some way,feeling carefree and happy just to breath.
Times like that are sparse in a life,but in some strange way she always knows how to make me either laugh,or feel
uncomfortable.
It is a good thing that both our lovelives are steady and secure...if not we would end eloping together i think.
There are a few things going on in the company that need attencion.
We are going to have a meeting soon to sort a few things out and i hope all will be well after that.
Daeron and i become better friends with the passing of each day.
Finaly i found a company member that is willing to put in as much time as i do to collect things.
He and i go out a lot together to get gems he needs and metal i need.

*listence to door being opend softly and grins*
"Finaly i beat you to it once my love" he shouts to Sab "finaly i'm home earlier then you,the bath is ready so
please enjoy"
*he hears her undress and let herself slowly sink in the water*"" want me to wash your back dear?"
*Grabbing a towell from the cabinet he moves towards the bath and grins*"finaly home again love,i missed you "
*as he lowers himself in the water ,the steam starts to fill the room and hides them both from sight*


*after a while they both lay on the bed exhausted* "we need to plan a date to get maried love " [Barion said]
"i dont want us to be lucky and have a child before we are maried "* he kisses her and holds her close*
"lets sleep now dear,we can talk and plan tomorow" *Sab curls up with her head on his chest and smiles *

[jan]

New entry by Barion*

*hastely writen in a state of confusion it seems*

I made a mistake ...or maybe not ....i dont know..I cant write what i did...Sab would read it...
Others will read it if i'm gone to the other side....was it a mistake?....or not?...
Only time will tell....it happend and we both cant turn it back.....despite the fact that its wrong it happend,
i cant say i didnt liked it...the thrill of it still burns my blood...the taste is still there....
I realise the problem can now either be solved...or become bigger ....Its out of my hands now....
i'll respect what ever "the other" will decide....I can only hope for the best.....
and if that is me paying for what i did ...then i will.... its my own fault it happend...
not "the others "fault...i moved .."the other"stayed still...i acted ..."the other "didnt do a thing but be surpriced...
I need to think about this ....i'll get back to were it happend and ponder there ...I hope "the other"is fine ...
or atleast unharmed and with someone "the other"trust and can talk too...


*Some words arre blacked out ...others are writen with the utmost precisenes only found in real good writen books*
*the page is cracked ,it seems someone thought about ripping the page out ,but changed his mind*

[jan]

New enrty by Barion

*he looks at what he has writen and smiles*

We talked about it ,"the other"and i,and we agreed to not telling anyone what happend .
I know for sure that there are feelings from my side,dont know for sure if there are from "the others"side .
We go out and both try to act normal eventhou its hard for me to do ,but i promissed and always keep my promisses.

The saving of the world from Slaady is going well up to now.
We visited a mage to get passes to one of the best guarded places in the world.....Voltrex,the closed elven island.
He told us were to go and handed us a letter for safe passage through the lands,i hope it works .

Finaly i am forced to pick up my weaponmaking again.
We , as a guild, are going to donate things to the relief of Roldem.
With both Rolf and Skarp on an extended vacation things get kinda hecktick ,but we'll manage .
I am very pleased that Q( Quantum) has joined us , he takes over some of Rolfs jobs together with Alleina now.
Havent seen Fenrir much lately,if he goes on vacation too i'll have to pick up armormaking aswell i guess...*sighs deep*
I asked at the guildmeeting if others would help with collecting things for the weapons....
Probably would have had more help if i asked the wall....most are just too lazy to even move their bumm.
On my travels i collected all kind of new things and when i put them in a chest before the meeting *grins*the ones
not going out much ran to it like vultures to look if they could use something..
Half of the things came from Haven mines ...they can clear that alone ...just never do it i guess ....
Makes me wonder if i'm not just used by them *sighs* better not think that way ....

[jan]

New entry by Barion


The making of weapons goes well ,iron doesn't hold much secrets for me anymore .
Only the making of great weapons like scythes hold a chalenge now ,guess its because the use of wood in them.
I picked up tinkering again because i was tired of failing to make the molds i need for weapons.
Turned out tinkering is a nice craft ,i decided to go on with it and am making iron arrowheads for Jacc and Dorena now in large quantities.

I met Sab a short time ago ,we both ar investigating the same thing now.
When i asked her if we could plan a date for the marriage *sighs*she said she was too bussy with learning the
highest circle of spells now , and doesnt have time to interupt it .
I love her dearly and cant see my life without her ..but...with all that is going on with "the other"it is hard to
remember her face at night*sighs deep*
Had a long talk with "the other"....our idears of life and love differ a bit ..but i'm willing to learn and
compromise"the other"has to learn that too.

Seems like most of the extended vacations appart from Skarp and Rolf are finaly over in the guild.
Lets hope things will get better and every one finds it in their hart to help relieve others from getting things alone
for a change.
Some thing good has come from this wandering alone a lot, i developed some hobby's *grins*
I'm collecting books and star dusts now for example*smiles*still its weird that the dust ends up in Haven mines.
Abi has been away from all living persons for a while now *sighs* i hope things will get normal again and she will
show up soon.
I know she's still around , because the skins i keep getting her disapear from her chests on a regular base *grins*

*Barely readable is writen*
E ceela aey sa neanana..both you and "the other"

[jan]

*a few words are writen down seemingly in anger or another state of mind that doesnt help keeping a hand steady*


LOVE.......CURSE.......PAIN......LIFE.........DEAT H.......
All useless ...love is a curse ...love is pain.....life is pain.......death is ...? A way out ?

*the handwriting becomes more fluent and looks writen with a steady hand*

Have been looking for Sab for more then two weeks now,heard from Karana that Sab is going to be one of three to perform a ceremony.
Karana will be there to protect Sab's body she said.
Guess with all that is going on she just forgot about me *sighs* if Karana wouldnt have told me , i wouldn't even know.
I'm not sure what is happening ...is her love for me fading ? am i ballast in her life? will she leave me ?
So many questions and no way to ask her directly since i cant find her *sighs softly*

Life stinks at times .....and this is one of those times...i told Dorena something that even scared ME when i had said it ...
I told her that sometimes i regret ever meeting Shelu ...*sighs deep and ponders before he continues writing*

The thruth is ...i still miss her dearly ..and my life can never be the same as it was before ....nor can i hold up this ...facade...longer.
My life is a chain of bad events and i've been trying with all that is me to chance that...it's getting hard not just give up..end it ....
Maybe i was right with what i told Dorena ...if i never had met Shelu ,i would never have gotten into this hurting game called love...
Nah ...there would have been another that would have cought me ..i'm a sucker for love ..maybe Celgar was right ..
Maybe there is only one god ..or goddes in this case .....that would suit my life and my dealing with losses ...Ilsare ..the goddes of love...
*walks around the house pondering and talking in himself and he ends up in the room he has made into a shrine for Shelu*

* he looks to her pictures and sadly smiles*
"Hello my love ......i'm in need of guidence again ..as usual when i end up here ...my thoughts are a mess
and my life isnt too happy now...my love is away ....and "the other" i love isnt answering my feelings in any
way....people use me and try to chance me ....only thing that keeps me going is my undying trust in love and
some of my friends....."
*he bows his head in a simple prayer and when done he looks up and smiles to her pictures hanging on the wall
next to the table with the weddingring*
"I wont give up dearest...you made me promiss to make the best of my life and never search the easy way out by
following you in death..i'll keep that promiss and will try to get out of the state my mind is in right now....i miss
you love ..keep room for me at your side...."

* he walks out of the room holding his head up and looking confident and somehow more at peace*

[jan]

*Barion sits in his house and looks at what he wrote, he smiles warmly reading what he wrote about Shelu *
"Who could see this change coming ...not me ...not anyone i think"*he mumbles*'Why it took so long Abi asked ...she is right "
*New entry by Barion*

I have made a deal with Dorena ,she is going to teach me elven in exchange for the arrowheads i give her .
I'll pick up where i left with Shelu and Ranewin i guess .

The world is safe from the invasion of Slaad once more ,with the group i travelt to Voltrex to restore the last seal.
After that we went to the hart of the rift in the sky and released the two souls .
They took their place and sealed the rift for what we hope forever.

I am trying to get something from the guild and am trying to set a procedure for us all to follow if we want something .
Sofar only a few have reacted on my request ,since i have writen that most must be okay with it i'll wait with taking what i need untill more have reacted.

I made a mayor change in my life ...from what i feel now ,it was long overdue .
Finaly i'm at peace with the loss of Shelu ,the facade i held up for years i finaly casted aside.
I realised it when talking to Addison ( who lost Cole recently)that i was living in the past for too long .
Having realised that, i desided to go to the Ranger Vale to say a final goodbye and let the past be the past.

[jan]

*These are the words Barion spoke and the things happening in Rangers Vale*

*Barion kneels at the tempel of Aeridin and softly starts to pray*

"It is time my love and mate...
Time to close one chapter and try to open others....
I know you are waiting for me Shelu.....
and in time i'll be at your side again.....but now....*he softly sighs*
Now i need to live on ...and i do mean LIVE on....
The facade has to dropped...the grief has to be undergone....
I need to live again....in the present.....not in the past as i have done....."
*a tear travels from his eye to his chin un-noticed*
"Time to let you go for now dearest....we will meet again...as your gods Avatar told us long ago....
Look after me .....and know your always in my hart...."
* he sighs softly crying and presses a kiss on the ground of the tempel*
"Farewell my soulmate..."

*he pauses a moment*

"Keep her safe Aeridin...or my wrath will find you ..."
*He looks up and closes his eyes....after a few moments his body starts to shiver with gulfs of what seems
to be pains long hidden coming out and leaving him...he slumps down on the ground and falls into a deep sleeep*

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

Life is slowly getting better ....it was a mess for a while...
Where to start ...starting with the things that went wrong...maybe then ,after i wrote and ending with the nice things ,life may once again smile down on me.

Sab.....no word or other sign of life from her for over half a year now...*sighs softly*...guess she either has forgotten me ..or in the worst case .. *looks pained* in the worst case she may be dead...No one has
seen her after the ritual she had to perform...dont even know if she was there...

"The other".....Came to me for a loan of an big amound of gold....ofcourse i gave the loan...but if i had known what it was for ... "The other"moved...with the loan i gave ..a house was bought ..far away in Vale ..we were almost neighbours here in Haven before.... Guess that says it all realy ...no chance of ever being happy with "the other"....other then being friends ....
something else happend recently ....something i wont tell many people ....my life is shortend again...a threat was ripped ...my end is near...
Looking at what i have done with my life sofar ,i can say it is a ride of ups and downs ...maybe the downs are greater in numbers..
but i allways stayed honest and fair ..fighting for the innocents and the weaker then myself, i can only hope it counts when the final time comes.

The better things .....i picked up showing around newcomers and helping them as much as i can now...guiding them around town and helping them to finish their chores that they have make me happy ...i meet lots of new and interesting persons this way*smiles* even get some to buy things from Raven...and something else happend ....i met an interesting woman named Sa'kura ...she is from a farm ..just like me ..
I showed her around and talked to her ...i told her about Sab ..and the fact Sab is gone for a long time now and that i cant find her...
I felt lonely ..and she was there ...i asked if i was allowed to hold her ..and i was ...we kept talking and suddenly ..our eyes locked ...we kissed ....
We both liked it ..but we both were surpriced and confused aswell...she asked around about me ..and got told lies and horror stories ...
When i heard , i asked some friends if they could help me to make a date so we could talk ...and they did ..we talked and i explained some things .
We agreed to get to know each other better and see were that takes us ...Sab ...i will have to talk to her and give her a choice...change .or leave... that is ..if she ever returns ...maybe i should look for her remains ..or someone that knows what happend to her ..the thought alone scares me.
I cant live like i do now anymore ...the uncertaincy is killing ...the not knowing and not hearing anything is mindnumbing...and a new life with any one else cant start because i never will betray her or any other woman...my life right now is locked.
My crafting is going well...i'm one of the fifteen best weaponmakers around now ...the amound of iron i made into weapons is enormous already... but i still need tons and tons of it to improve and be able to forge adamantium weapons...i'm getting close ...simple ones i make half of the time or more
The smelting of adamantium is trivial with some help....if i train more with silver without magical aid i'll be able to do it with out help soon... the only problem is , that i have been mining somuch lately ...i have developed a hatred to mining ...if its not necisary ..i wont .
Some of the company have returned after being away for a small time ....geir is seen more and more lately ..
*sighs* I'm going to end in an unhappy state again ...something is going on ..Abi and Angela are nolonger together ....Angela betrayed Abi's love...
She herself came to tell me that ..she asked me to take care of Abi ...told me she made a will and was planing to leave ...forgood if she couldnt solve it.
A few days later i talked to Abi....asked her why and how ..and who...she wouldnt say who ,due to a promiss she made ...but i'm no fool..i have eyes..
The thing that hurted Abi most was the fact that Angela told another she loves her ...in Abi's words..."if she was screwing around,i could forgive her... but her loving another is something i cant accept" I'm not choosing sides ..and i will wait what the outcome will be ...but if it goes like i think ...
I'll lose my respect for some i know then ...wont put down names ,for its no ones concern yet ...but those i suspect ..i think they know ....
I refused to go out with them on adventure already ...and they are not the dumbest people ...they can figure it out .if they are even interested in why i dont go out with them *sighs deep*someone is playing a very nasty game ...playing with lives of others asif they dont deserve happines...playing with loves older then most of the new people i meet ...Life and love are cruel especialy if it concerns those you called friends not long ago...

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

**It seems a few pages are ripped out of the journal**

*Barion sits at a chest in his house and looks into it with tears in his eyes*
"Why..... ?*he wispers*...Why Abi?.....Why not come to me ....?Why now?......Why this way ?....WHY!!!!!*he shouts the last word*


*A few days later there is a new entry*

ABIGAI'L,SHE KILLED HERSELF.

Angela,plays the hurt one but clearly isn't.
Cray,talked to her and know the complete story from Abi and her side.
Alantha,the one Angela cheated Abi with...the one cheating on Cray with Angela.
Dorena,"the other"........wife of Jacc.
Brant,always shows up somehow if i get to go through things like this.

SA'KURA,THE ONE I LOVE.*this is writen with capitals in a steady hand,clearly made with lots of efford to look good*

Daren,the husband of Jil...the one we saved from the underdark.
Daeron,close friend ...part of Raven aswell.
Quantum,close friend ...same as Daeron .
Rhynn,friend..sometimes close ..other times a bit weird and a far friend.
Ranewin,Closest friend i got left...made her promiss to get me up and love me if things ever go wrong again..only link left to good old times.
Nyyana,friend...changed after Abi's death..hope to get her back as she was.
Celgar,friend...brother...havent seen him in a while.

*he sighs deep and starts another list*

Shelu,my first love...dead.
Trysk,was a close friend...now missing.
Nex,was a close friend...now walking Dregar a lot alone ...havent seen him in years.
Ayla,one of the first i met here that helped me...dead.
Geir,one of the first i met here ...partner at Raven....gone forgood.
Skarp,partner at Raven...gone forgood.
Rolf,partner at Raven....leaving forgood.
Sabrissia,loved her ...went away to a ritual...missing.
ABI,friend...sister....very old friend...dead.

*he sighs and closes the journal and stats pacing the house*

*A few days later he returns and start to write again*

BARION,fool...coward...idiot...wreck.
*he closes the journal and looks around asif saying goodbye*

*weeks later he walks into the house and sees his journal lying in its usual spot,he picks it up and starts to write in it *

Life isnt fair.Life is never fair.Life will never be fair.Life is to be lived and accepted no matter what.Good things come and go.Bad things tend to stay.

These are some lessons i wanted to write down for those that might read this journal once i'm gone..Life is cruell( forgot that one )
Abi's body has been taken by shadows,preventing some to say a final goodbye to her.
I found her in Sielwood and brought her to the Raven house in Hlint,cleaned her up and told all that they had one week to say goodbye before i would bring the body to Karthy,the Xeen tempel to be precies.
Angela came in and wanted to take the body and burry it alone in the desert*sighs*i stopped her ,she treathend me ..i stood firm...she left without the body.
I still dont know what right she tought to have to Abi's remains,she cheated on her and that is a big part of the reasons Abi did this...
She only had to tell Abi she loved only her to have kept her alive....she refused..Abi is dead.
I was a fool and wanted to end the pain....i went to Firesteep to end it ...once and forall.Rhynn was the only one that knew..she saved me...
She sended Tathnolu to intercept me and talk sence into me..he succeeded half....i still was on my way to Firesteep..but nolonger to end it forgood.
Rhynn had send a letter to Sa'kura....she and Kyle caught me at the foot of Firesteep...the sight of Sa'kura was enough to stop me and forget about Firesteep.
We completely forgot Kyle and went to talk to eachother...she realy loves me ..and i realy love her ...she moves into the house and we will be happy.
That takes me to "the other"..Dorena..was it love? or just simple lust? was our traveling and her teasing me only to make me a fool and long for her?
Seems like it ...we had something happening ...dont remember what..was drunk...she too...must have done or said something wrong to her..she ran away
I found her in Sielwood ,her head was cut..she ran into a tree...i tended her wounds and made sure she was alright...i left her a letter.
In the letter i told her i wouldnt go out with her alone anymore,that i didnt know what had happend ,but that it must be something bad for her to run away from me.
She must have given the letter to Jacc...he came to us in Pranzis...he shot an arrow over my head in a tree..there was a note that said i had to leave Dorena alone from now on...it wasnt signed..i stood up and called out that the coward should show him/herself..to tell me to my face...Jacc apeared..a blade on my throught...he asked if i called him a coward..i told him that if he shot the arrow ..i did...he letured me and told me he wanted to kill me ..i opend my arms and offered my life to him,for he was right...i shouldend go out with his wife the way i was doing....he let me live and i gave my word i would nev er go out or talk to her again.
These things led to something else...i left Raven...i give them time to find a replacement for me ..then i'm gone.
Leading upto this decision were a few things ...we had a meeting to vote on new members..to replace those that have either voluntairly or otherwise left us lately...when i walked in..Jacc jumped of off his chair ...i looked around...saw Alantha and Dorena as those that werent part of Raven and knew...i went out..
Daeron followed me and talked me into coming back in and listen before i took a decision..i did ...i sat at the back and listend...They voted on contacting Goldwin...i stayed quiet...then they voted on Alantha joining...i stayed quiet...Angela just had to do something i guess...and with that made up my mind...she demanded me to say i was okay with Alantha joining..i couldnt...she was called to order by Jacc ...then they voted on Dorena ...that realy made me sure..i stayed quiet...after they voted and wanted to go on to other points ,i took the word...i told that i was coming in a situation that insured i couldnt work in this way ..i gave them till they have a replacement and formaly announced that i would leave...i left and Angela followed ..she asked if that was normal...that you dont throw away ten years of friendship like that..i told her she did the same with Cray ..so why should it bother me ?
I guess she either didnt hear ,or chose not to hear she went back to what i'm used of her by now..playing the hurt one and blaming others then herself for what happend and such...i'm tired of that ..i said she was right and left...she did say she knew she was hurting others in the end ,,but that was way too late for me to change my decision...i vowed to myself i wouldnt work with those i hold responcible for Abi's dead...in my eyes that are Angela and Alantha...i told Jacc i would never travel with Dorena or talk to her again..that would be hard if we were both in Raven ..i had no choice...my leaving was un avoidable.
If they knew that in front or not ..i dont know ..sometime i guess they dont think like i do ...leaving Raven was hard ..but i think Abi would aprove...first thing i found in Haven mines after i left was dust of Xeen ..if that was a sign..i did well.
When i met sa'kura i satr her down and told her everything...she said she wanted to try to get the friendship with Jacc and Dorena back to normal again..i told her that i only would talk to Dorena if Jacc said its okay.Sa'kura and i are gettingf things together now everytime we can ,we both craft for pleasure now ...among having fun with eachother a lot...and i found us someone to teach us both elven...Serrisa is her name ...and we take her along on our travels as payment for her lessons ...dont tell her thou .

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*Barion walks in looking happy and troubled at the same time,he picks up his journal from the bed were Sa'kura left it and starts to write*

I gave my journal to Sa'kura....or Cherrie as i call her now ...to read and learn about me,to get to know me in more ways then i am able to explain myself in words.
She read it and i told her i would keep writing in it so that she knows what and how i think about things even if we dont see eachother due to buisness.
Raven does not have a replacement me for me yet,word travells fast...i am offered to join the orcbashers already,all i have to say is yes.
All the people leaving Raven have given Raven a bad name on the streets,new adventurers rather buy somewere else then with Raven because of it.
If i look deep in my heart i cant even blame them to be honest...if all knew what i know Raven would be out of buisness even more i think.
i'm no liar and i dont keep secrets,if anyone comes to me and asks why i left i answer truthfully...eventhou i loved to see Raven grow...my feelings of injustice over things i cant put aside...i cant believe Jacc and Daeron are willing to work with Angela and Alantha together..are they blind? or they just dont want to see the obvius...Angela cheated with another on Abi,she's been running around with Alantha longer then anyone else..especialy since Abi is gone..
is it so hard to put one and two together? Or did they both just played they liked Abi? I realy dont know anymore...i get on the point i realy dont care anymore..Abi's true friends remember her from time to time ...not much ..but those that do were true friends.

I went out on a job for the late king..a caravan was ambushed and all there were either killed or taken by drow..or so we thought at first.
It led us to a drowcity in the underdark,there we found a key that lead us to Dalantar..there was a chest in the bank that had to be delivered to Saudiria.
A chest send by the late kings daughter,we went and deliverd it to the captain there...once we got out of the house we were attacked by drow or something.
As the battle was won,we noticed that the guards that were in front of the house were gone,the door locked and no sound from inside.
We checked the house and it was empty...they either fled or were taken we think,so we put up a pursuit to catch them..with a lot of pain and trouble we tracked them down to the docks at Dorax tower...we now need to decide what to do ....

Sonya and Rain got married....it was a wonderfull little ceremony and both looked stunning...it was an extra special day for me and Sa'kura .....
No one knew...but when Sa'kura wanted to walk along the water i had a surprice for her...i got on one knee and held up a ring*smiles*
She was stunned...she said "i..i dont know what to say..."i looked at her and said "Just say yes love..."She couldnt be stopped after that *smiles happy*
Yes..yes...yes..yes..over and over she repeated herself ...crying and hugging and kissing me all the time...we both are so happy...no date yet ...and my fear of something happening isnt gone completely...but i'm sure this time the wedding will go on..we got the place and we got the love to pull it off*smiles*
We decided to keep it quiet a few days ,not to spoil Sonya's and Rains day .

Q needed my help a few days later...something happend and he was to go to the tempel in fort Llast...on the way there we encounterd some powerfull undead..they had ransacked a caravan..we went to investigate..it was an ambush...Q,me and serissa died there ..it was a good thing the others lived to raise us and we went to the tempel because the undead that were left had fled....it turned out Q was to attend a meeting of something called 'The Shining Hand'
We were invited by Q to come and so we did ..it turned out that the Shining Hand.....the leader of the order Q is part of...is missing.
Now it has been over 50 days they have a rule that says that they can vote on another to take over...two aplied for the job and looking over the reactions of those present i saw that both wouldnt be the right choice in my eyes and the eyes of others to get the position...as they held a recess i told that to Q ..
We talked about Q speaking..either to support one..or to run for the job himself...he decided the last option and i think he is right...he held a speech and after that they had to vote on it....three held their vote..and presented their plans later....every one going for the position gets an assigment and is allowed to gather all they want to help to fullfill the task at hand...an evil is unleashed and they will get orders what to do...the one doing the best job i guess gets the position...all that were there told Q that we would aid him in any way we can...i'm looking forward to go out and make Q proud by succeeding in his task.

Time for bed now *smiles looking at the bed* Sa'kura is sleeping peacefully now...its time to join her and hold her ..like i want to do for the rest of my life.

*he puts down his journal quietly and gets next to Sa'kura in the bed gently not to wake her..he kisses her forehaer and takes her in his arms *
"sleep well my love ...i'll guard you and keep you safe"*he whispers*"You are the diamond embedded in my heart,the most precious thing in this world and beyond to me.....as long as you love me my heart will beat for you and you alone...."*he rest his head and drifts to sleep*

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

**quietly Barion wakes up and looks at Sa'kura sleeping peacefully**"I'll write it off my mind love and trust things will work out fine"
**He takes his journal from the cabinet next to the bed and starts to write**

Things are strange and confusing...Sa'kura is asked to someone importand at the wedding of Tre'anna and Addison....she needs to kiss Addison with asmuch passion and love as she feels for me....Because of her friendship with both she already accepted,not truely understanding what it meant...
I told her i dont realy like it,passion and love ...we both have that for eachother..not for others...we are one...last night we were one for more time then there fits in a night....time stood still and our lovebond even got deeper then it already was.....its more then love..its belonging to...living for...
I'll try to give her my undying support and give her room to fullfill this task ..although i think passion and love is something from us both..not one of us and another...if it was to be lust she had to feign..that i could understand..but love and passion???????....lust i understand ..that would make it easy.

I love you my dearest...and for that i'll be there to support you in your task athand ...but please...never yes again before you understand what it is you have to do...

Training in elven goes slowly but steady...Serissa is an exelent teacher for both of us ...while travveling we learn,words for now but i'm sure sentences will follow...i guess Serissa knows best when to start with those..i managed to get my finger behind some elven grammar lately ...la behind a word means more then one...so if "sela" means "mine"..."selala"means "mines"*smiles*we both get fun in making short sentences to tell eachother...with the words we know
and the understanding of the grammar i was able to call Sa'kura "my cutest little half elf "..."Sa nyyanalaan irilco aco"

**writing these last things he sees Sa'kura turn and look in her sleep for him with her arm...he quickly and quietly goes back to bed to let her feel his presence and to give her something to hold.....smiling he takes her hand and puts it on his chest **I'm not going anywere love **he wispers**He closes his eyes and dreams of a glorius wedding
on a cliff**

[jan]

*hastely scribled are a few points*

Addison dead ..another i knew bite the dust of eversleep...
Talked to Jacc ..he wants me to talk to dorena again ..will comply ,but wont go out with her alone.
Making rods to store magic now ..good trading thing ..lots of people want to buy those.
Got better at smelting again ...with the aid of my bull strenght ring i can smelt adamantium trivialy now.
Made the last two orders for Raven ..adamantium weapons ..two tries ,two successes.
Raven slowly is going bankrupt i think ..no orders came in for a while now ..seems they do something terribly wrong ..with me they lost the last link to newcommers ..Q left aswell...told them it was because hes not good enough ..i know better ...he cant work with some of them either ...and he feels used ..
never did he get anything he asked for ...was the same as with me ..wonder howlong Raven will hold out if nothing gets ordered and those running to get better have start to pay to be part of it.
if it gets to the point they go and leave ..if the right ones leave i'll offer my servises again i think ..its a shame the dream of the brothers is slowly crumbling into nothingness now..it hurts to see that ..but cant be helped aslong ...aaa well ..if they smart they know what has to be done.
Playing with the thought to start my own Guild lately ..i'm sure i could get Q to join...maybe i'll go ask around to see who is available ..getting others away from the guild they are in isnt my style ..maybe some free agents i could find ..or people looking for a good opportunity ..i'll see i guess.
Running around with Auuumi a lot lately ..in a strange way she seems to like me and is fun to be around...cant help but wonder whats going on in her head sometimes ...she still doesnt speak common well..i'm learning her some words and gestures..but i dont know if she understands them all.