Barion Firesteed( thoughts of a fighter)

[jan]

After a battle with some undead in The broken Forrest,Barion sits down by a tree and thinks: Finaly i can take some time to reflect on my adventures and the way i want to continue my life
Before coming to the lands of Mistone,i thought i was capable enough to protect myself from the evils in the world.
When i came here i found out that i thought wrong....
I decided that the right thing to do to get some gold to buy food,would be hiring myself to people to perform some small tasks.
After i excepted the first task,getting the taxbooks back from some ratman living under the city of Hlint,i went in there thinking i would do so easely.
After 5 minutes ,i found out that i was not nearly skilled enough to survive,let alone bring back the books ,by my own.
I was lucky enough to find a kind fellow adventurer to help me,and he gave me some tips on how to go about town.
He also told me that i had to train better and should try to get some coin to inprove my equipment.
The best tip he gave me was : get a group to go with you,because you have to learn your way with the weapons and armors better before you can go out on your own.
After i swallowed my foolish pride ,i decided that he defenetly was right (after visiting the void a few times)
I met a lot of people that where having the same problems i had,and we started to go out together to do the tasks we were asked to do.
We found out that the more training we got,the better adventurers we became.
As time went by ,the normal things that happen to a group,happent.
Every-one went on their own path ,and we split up to learn more from some nice adventurers with more skill and training,to become more able then we would have been if we had stayed together.
I meet all kind of adventurers:wizards,priests,bards,fighters,monks,a nd e few i dont even know what they are.
As i travell along with them,i start to think what would be my best chance of fame and fortune........

Barion closes his journal with a fast movement and puts it in his pack,mumbling to himself :
"those undead keep coming back and back and back"while taking his sword in his hand again.

[jan]

New entry by Barion
I have to sit down and write this ,because its to much and to important to comprihent as a whole ,in one time.

Had a talk with a man named Ozymandias Llewwellyn yesterday.
He told me and shelu about the bloodwars .
I now know something about what the principle and origin of this war is.
He also told us that we can not win if it turns out to frontal fighting with our adversaries,and that we have to find a way to kill the commanders of their troups to get them fighting each other .

I asked him if there were people that could stop the enemy,and he said that he was looking at them,meaning Shelu,me and the rest of our generation,with the help of the hero`s that are still around.
When i asked him how we could train to be victorius,he said that we were doing just that now: training in small groups to work together to become better balanced as a group.
His remark that he thouhgt that the big battle will be in two or three years upsetted me a bit,because we are not even strong enough to kill their minions by large numbers now.( mental note to self:increase training rate )
It is comforting that he will do what ever he can to help when the time is there for him to act(his enemy being blood and all that follow him).
But enough about that for now ,since im still trying to comprehend all that he told us.
Training is going better now,im training alone in the Grey peaks and it seems that the solitude helps me focus better .
I would love to be around shelu more ,but im afraid that i`m pushing myself to much if she is around.
I love her i think but i`m not sure if she loves me back, i`m not good in talking about it so i just have to wait and hope she gives me some sign of affection i think.
Anyway`s, i love this sword i have now and im getting better in wielding it (dont think i have the time to chance my choise of weapon now anyway).
All my training in the Grey peaks tought me that i have to train more with multiple opponents ,because i can take on one at the time now but having trouble if there are more of them.
Also have to find a way to become quicker with my attacks,and some protection against magic to help me with those blasted mages.
I can do damage(not enough yet) but it takes me to long to kill them,maybe i can find a way to hit faster after another.
The hard ones seem to get in somekind of trance or something ,wich makes them completely focust on fighting.
In that state they hit harder then they normaly would i think ,maybe i can learn that aswell.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

All the training seems to come together now,its getting easyer to wield my sword and focus on my opponent now.
When i started to intencivy my training , i found out that i had to use my sword more as an extension of my arm
rather then as a sword on itself.
Starting to get the hang of it now,i seem to be able to focus on my opponent more because i stopped thinking on how to hold
my sword during fighting.
Training in soletude has made me finaly understand that its not only the power that you wield the sword with ,
but rather the skill to wield it right makes the difference in a fight.
I'm sure that with the newly found focus i'm a better fighter then i was,but still have the problem of hitting to slow i think.
I think i will ask some friends if they know of a way to improve my speed with the sword.
The multiple attacks i trained are working out nicely,the whirlwind attack is one of my favorites now.
I still dont like the defencive expertise style,but i will try it out more to see if it realy works .
Still not sure about my future tho,since i havent seen shelu as often as i did before i start to long for her more.
It's strange,because i thought that seeing her less would help me to put things in perspective but i mis her more then i could think.

[jan]

New enrty by Barion

I'm so happy now ,there is nothing in the world that can make me bleu.
It all started when i met shelu finaly ,becose of my solitair training i hadent seen here for days.
We started talking and one thing led to another, i found out shes from voltrex and ran away from home,
that is...the temple she grew up in.
I told her my life story and that i have troubles expressing my feelings,because i learned that showing your
feelings makes you vulnerable.
She told me that she had the same problem,but also that feelings cant kill you*smiles thinking of her*
I gathered all the nerve i could and finaly told her that i love her ,expecting nothing to happen.
To my joy and delight she told me that she has feelings for me too,but that we have to take it slow.
I'm going to train with her ,every chance i get and i'm going to make her proud on her "brave and warm human".
My new goal in life is to extend my life as long as possible,so i can grow old with the keeper of my hart.
Maybe a verry powerfull sorcerer can help me with that,ill ask aleister if he knows a way to extend life.
*sighs* thats the only thing keeping us apart for now,i hope its not going to get between us.

[jan]

new entry by Barion Firesteed

These past days were realy great,training and talking with shelu realy is the best thing happening to me in months.
We are growing closer to eachother every second we are together,and we both like it verry much.
I was thinking of a way to do something realy special,and when the opportunity came....i did .
I surpriced my love in the crypts,(smiles thinking of it ) i asked her to marrie me!
I was afraid that she would think it was to soon,but to my relief she didnt even had to think about it and sayd yes!
Taislin was there and he was delighted just like we are .
We went to the surface and i couldnt help myself.
We went into the Wild Surge Inn and i shouted the news around that we are going to marry.
Shelu liked it much,and she was holding my hand all the time smiling from ear to ear.
Taislin wanted to tell every-one the good news ,and we let him do that for us .
There are realy bussy times coming now,with the preparations for the wedding and the search for a house and all.
We didnt pick a date yet,because we have to tell every-one and need a lot of money to pay for it i think.
We met sy at the tempel and told her the good news,she was realy happy for us and looked radiant herself.
I didnt know why,but later that day i learned why ( smiles brightly ),sy is getting married to!
Sy is going to marry kai and im happy for them.
Shelu thought about having a double wedding,and i will do it if she wants but it not what i thought of when i asked her.
I rather have a nice small ceremony for just the two of us and some close friends,then a big party for all that know us .
Realy have to talk to her about that , and i hope she wont be dissapointed if i tell her .
I'm thinking of the vows we will make ,and i'm not working on mine because i wil tell her what my heart tells me there and then.
Training with her is a pleasure as always,she uses her magic to make me stronger and better skilled and we do work good
as a team now.
I cant stand it if she does get surpriced and falls to the enemy,the feeling i get then is only to be discribed as dying myself.
We are getting better every day and i feel my training with her helps me a lot to become stronger and more skilled.
I can only hope that we will be happy together for a long long time,still have to find aleister or maybe ozzy to ask about
a way to extend my life.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

Had a talk with Jet yesterday,he was looking depressed and shelu and i wanted to know what was wrong.
Jet told us his life-story,that he was abducted at young age by a group called 'the crimson blades''
and that he was trained by a man named Hyde after his father refused to pay the ransom.
He told us how he was left for dead by them after he chalenced Hyde,because he didnt want to murder innocents.
He was lucky,or strong willed enough, to survive and he made the promisse to himself that he would face Hyde
if he was recoverd and had found him.
Now it seems that they have almost found him,and he knows he stands a small chance,but hes to proud to ask help.
I insisted that he would tell me if he went after them,and finaly persuaded him to do that (i hope)
Shelu wants to come aswell( ofcourse she wants to be with me) and Jet promissed to tell us if he goes after them.
I hope he understands that he has friends that will help him,if he only lets them.

[jan]

New entry

Marrying shelu might take some time to take place i'm afraid,she wants me to meet her family first.
Since they live on Voltrex,a k a the closed world, its going to be difficult to let her wish come true*sighs*.
I'll do my utmost best to go there with her and im sure we will get there ,but it will take time,a lot of time.
We finaly had the kind of talk i wanted to have earlyer,finaly she could open up to me and tell me how she feels.
I was afraid for nothing the last weeks,as she told me now that she realy loves me
and wants to be with me the rest of her and my life.
I told her that i was getting doubts,because she never told me face to face that she loved me.
She told me then that she has the same problems about expressing her feelings as i had first.
"I thought you could read my mind dearest,and i thought you could feel the love i have for you with-out saying it",
she said to me*smiles thinking of that* and i told her that i did,but that i also needed it to be told to me
for i want to be absolutely sure that i'm not pushing myself upon some-one that has doubts.
She took my doubts away alright,and we ((censorred)).
I'm going to increese my efforts to become stronger,because i want to meet her family ,not meeting them
is the only thing standing in the way of us marrying*sighs thinking of a way to get to voltrex*.

[jan]

New entry by Barion


Something wonderful happened last night,Shelu and i where fooling around with each-other at the campfire in Rangers Vale.
We were surpriced by a nice old wizard that came to the camp,and i asked him if he knew of a way to extend life.
He didnt know of a way *smiles* he said that he was old and if i found a way,i should find him and tell him.
Suddenly some creature appeard in front of Shelu....i wanted to grab my sword,but felt imediatly that i shouldnt.
The creature had wings and looked like an angel or something like that,and she started to talk to my love.
I only heard some of the telling she did (Shelu was frozen it seemed),as i fell down in praying for this glorious angel.
But from what i heard,i can tell now that we will be together for-ever if we keep up doing what we are doing now:
help and protect the innocents of the world,when and where we can.
I realy am impressed with the display of wisdom of this goddes Shelu follows and i will bind my soul to her altar.
I will talk to shelu and the priestess in hlint to find out more about this believe as i'm interested in it now more than i was
ever interested in a faith before.

[jan]

new entry by Barion

im cofused ....i dont know what to do....im angry and sad at the same time...i need time to think.

Yesterday i gave shelu an engagementring and all was going fine...ranewin and trysk asked us if we would like to
rent two rooms in the house they live in ,and we went looking there .
It looked nice its a house in krandor we can have two rooms to ue rane said and we were verry happy then .....
Shelu and i wnt to the inn to get some sleep but ...well..we took a while to realy go to sleep.
Now im sitting here with a letter shelu wrote to me....she accuses me of playing a game with her feelings*sighs*.
She wants to call the wedding off*starts to cry* ...i dont know what to do....she wants her share of the money we saved,
i'll leave her all...its no use living with-out her .
I'm going to wright a last will giving all of my possesions to her ...and end my life fighting if we dont get together again.
i hope to see her one more time before i depart from this world,maybe she can explain what happenend...




new entry by Barion

i talked to shelu now...she said shes sorry and that she over-reacted....she said that she was tired and came to the wrong
conclusions.

i'm still hurting tho..i thought she new and loved me ..but its hard to believe that after this......
i told her i needed time to get my thoughts back in the right order ,witch i have to do realy.
My mind tells me that she maybe not loves me...but my soul knows she does ,its strange but ill listen to my soul...
we have to have a good talk tho to sort things out and i want to know why it happenend ,so i can do anything
to prevent it again.
Maybe my trainer was right afterall : feelings can be deadly if they turn themselves against you.

I'll go look for her now hope she will talk to me,i left her in a bit of a strange way and all.
Now i had the tim to think about it and im not so hurt any-more..it was just a mistake i think im sure she loves me .

[jan]

New entry...by Barion

I'm feeling better now,i had a small talk with shelu and it seems she realy is sorry.
It wasnt a thing i did that made her think bad of me , it was something i said that made her think that.
The words that made her think so,i will never ever say to her again.
Altho we talked i'm still not able to get intimite with her because she has me built up the wall of protection once again,
looks like it will take me some time to trust her in the same way that i did before.
I must find some-one to talk to,and try to find my peace back once again.
I want to talk to sy, because she probably is the one closest to shelu right now,because i want to know if i should
tell al things happenend to me to shelu or not.
I told shelu i would never have any secrets for her but i dont know if this is the time to tell her i shortend my life.
Wouldnt it put her under pressure if i told her that because of this i met the soulmother again?
ill wait with it , because i dont want her to feel guilty at my expense .

[jan]

new entry



im lost in the world now....
shelu wants to break up....again....i dont know why this time she ment it i think
ive persuaded her to talk about it ,but she was verry ferm ...i hope for the best
but im afraid my life as i knew it will be over soon.......

[jan]

new entry

im happy again...we made up...we both need to work hard to make it right
but im sure we can do it she said she will not be so insecure anymore ..and i told her that she is stronger then she thinks
im not apreciating here enough lately..should have told her what it does to me if shes not around
ill make it up...she is the reason im stronger ..with her spells and her love she boosts me up
we agreed to call of the wedding as she is not yet up to it and we need to understand each-other more then we do now
we had a long talk at rangers vale where we both feel at home and we sorted it out
when i write this she is sleeping in my arms in our room ,,i hope this moment never ends

[jan]

New entry by Barion

It's been a while since i last wrote something...must have been the fun i have lately.
My training is going the right way now,i almost master my blade like it's part of me.
I'm faster now then i was,think that its becouse of the training i put into it.
Thing's between shelu and me are better then before*smiles* we talked about almost everything now.
I did something she didnt want tho... i pledged to aeridin to take my life insteed of hers if she might
meet the soulmother,she said not much about it but i know she didnt like that action.
We went on a mission a while back,to talk to the people to support the Mistone Alliance.
We were with a big group ,but shelu almost single handedly convinced a lot of people to support it .
She was wearing her weddingdress and she was stunning in it,i was so proud of her.
I have to talk to her about her behavier lately,she seems to get too friendly to a lot of people.
Don't get me wrong...i like it when she has some fun,but her reputation could be harmded by this .
Jet has some trouble with a man named Drouge he said....
He also said that Drouge is one of the type that rents in assasins to get rid of enemy's.
Jet is afraid that Drouge will try to get to him through his friends,so he aske me to be carefull.
Shelu is growing in power i think,she uses a lot of new spells*smiles* and she does that well i may say.
The saving for the house is going well,we have some money set aside now,we dont owe any-one
so we are doing well.
I have a new training ground now..Berhagen mountans its called.
I usualy go there with Trysk and Angela and we met a new adventurer that goes with us there ,Abigail.
I realy don't know what to think of her,she acts ...grumpy....but she also has her soft side i guess.
We will see what happens with her over time...
Shelu and i have spent a lot of time with Angela the last time she visited us*grins*i realy like her.
I think she likes shelu more then me,but i dont mind..she's good company and a real angel
if you get to know her better*grins* and we did.
We both are looking forward to her next visite,maybe it gets even better then the last time.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

Yesterday was a strange day...i got a letter from my love in wich she told me she is going to the tempel for a while.
I tried to train but i didnt do much good...i almost fell to some goblins of all creatures.
Fifur asked for some help with the undead in the krandor crypts later that day,
and inspite of what i wanted to do,i helped him as best as i could.
It all went well at first...but then on the way back we messed up,we lost control of the group and we died there .
Fifur died first...he isnt realy good at positioning himself in battle it seems....he ran into the undead and was swarmed.
I tried to retreat to the corridor to stand my ground there..but all ran to and past me,swarming me with undead.
We got some help from an old friend of Abi,and we retrieved our graves.
When i noticed Abi to stand completely alone,away from the group, i asked her why she did that.
She said it was a long story and she only wanted to tell it if i was interested,i told her i was ,that i want
to know the people that im with in combat,because it can save my life someday...she agreed and we went to our house.
She told me her tale,and a sad tale it is*sighs*,she offered somuch of herself to the one she loved ,that she lost
her hart completely she said.
I'm not sure about that,but she believes it so it is the truth as far as she knows.
She told me there is a chance..a long shot...that their might be a piece of her hart somewhere else and if she can
get to that piece ,her hart could grow once more.
i offered to help her anyway i can..and i hope she will take me up on that..in a strange way i like her.
Then something starteling happenend...Angela came by...
I let her in,and the first thing she did was yelling at me.....i didnt understand,so i asked her what i had done.
She accused me of telling Sy that we had been together ,Shelu,Angela and me.
I didnt do that..but i had spoken to Sy earlier,i told her Shelu was flirting with some-one and she siad:
"you only have to worry if its Angela"..i told her it wasnt..that it was kai.
I also told her that i wasnt worried because we trusted each-other good enough to let a third person join us in
our sexual life..she wanted to know who it is...but i didnt answer that...she must have guessed i think.
I only am concerned about Shelu's reputation and i wont talk to Sy about my feelings anymore,she broke my trust .
Then Abi cotinued her tale because i asked her to talk to Angela ..i didnt want Angela to be hurt in any way.
When Abi was done i got som more bad news...Angela is going home..shes leaving us in hlint.
I dont know why yet...i guess i fell asleep as she was starting to tell me why...i hope to hear that tonight .
Its been two days now since i saw my love*sighs* its harder then i thougt...i miss her..i hope she comes back soon.
I did sent her a note: "E mailcca selalaaw aey melemin...( i miss you my love)...E ceela eay...(i love you)...
E amillan il nyerecw ameanir eay..(i want to have a child with you) ..i hope shes alright ..its cold alone...

[jan]

New entry by Barion

I met up with shelu earlier this day..it was good seeing her again,we helped trysk get out of storan's tomb..he got cought inthere.
Shelu and i had a small talk then..she decided that she will go to the tempel in the afternoon,
and tries to be with me in the mornings.
Ive been called to help agains a threat of gnomes later on the day...ofcourse i will answer the call..we gather in lorindar later.
I must say im glad that i got something to do..being alone makes me miss her more,
ill train hard to make myself better ...she likes it if i get stronger im sure she will be pleased if i can improve myself.
All her being in the tempel makes me wonder ....is there a place for me maybe in her tempel?...
I'll try to find elledan to talk to him,maybe he can answer some of my questions about being a aeridinite.