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02-21-08, 06:16 PM
|
#1 | | Mind Flayer Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 876
Thanks: 46
Thanked 106 Times in 61 Posts
|  Customer Service
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!
A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then
added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.
The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to ANZ:
Family Member:
"I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
ANZ:
"The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
ANZ:
"Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
ANZ:
"Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member:
"Do you think God will be mad at her?"
ANZ:
"Excuse me?"
Family Member:
"Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being
dead?"
ANZ:
"Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
"I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
ANZ:
"The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
ANZ:
(Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member:
"No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info given)
ANZ:
"Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure."
(fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
ANZ:
"Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do
to help."
Family Member:
"Well, if you figure it out, great!
If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
ANZ:
"Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member:
"Would you like her new billing address?"
ANZ:
"That might help."
Family Member:
"Rook wood Memorial Cemetery,
1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney
Plot Number 69."
ANZ:
"Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member:
"What do you do with dead people on your planet?" |  |   | | The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to stragen For This Useful Post: | | |
02-21-08, 06:23 PM
|
#2 | | Lich Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Jersey (Exit 88)
Posts: 1,969
Thanks: 331
Thanked 293 Times in 215 Posts
| Re: Customer Service
Once Again, Humanity Proves how Stupid it can be...
__________________ The victorious warrior only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is defeated first fights and seeks to win. ~ Sun Tzu, Art of War
There is nothing noble about killing desperate men... ~ Bowen, Dragonheart
Toran's Yard Sign! 
Shiff Dragonheart ~ "Heroically Stupid" R.I.P. 7/13/08
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02-22-08, 06:36 AM
|
#3 | | Mind Flayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Richardson, Texas, United States, GMT-6
Posts: 1,103
Thanks: 230
Thanked 146 Times in 138 Posts
| Re: Customer Service
Not to mention how unwatned common sense is in the business world.
__________________
Warning: Chance of inane remarks.
Caution: Possible chance of off-topic statements. 
It's easy to clock more time than you've used in total. Just let the game run while you're away.
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02-22-08, 12:40 PM
|
#4 | | Lich Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: On the moon with the rest of the space kitties
Posts: 2,428
Thanks: 926
Thanked 743 Times in 315 Posts
| Re: Customer Service
Of course from the other end of things, has anybody here ever worked customer service for a cable company?
Customer: *long stream of swear words* mah cable just went out!
Me: Yes, we haven't recieved payment for 3 months. Would you like to make a payment?
C: Hell No! Thats mah momma's account! She DEAD!
M: Well I'm sorry to hear that, I guess she won't need cable anymore.
C: Nuuuuugh! TURN IT ON! Ah need it!
M: Well, I could open a new account here in your name and start billing you then before service.
C: AAAAUUUURRRRGGGGHHH!!! I Aint payin NOTHIN! Mah Momnma's dead!
M: Yes, I understand, and I'm not charging you for her old account. But if you want cable, you have to pay like everybody else.
C: Nuuuuuuugggghhhh!!! It mah momma's cable! She pay fer it!
M: But you just said your mother is dead. Besides, she was three months behind and it was shut off anyhow. If you want to have cable, you have to pay for it.
C: Can't you jus charge her account?!
M: She's dead.
C: yeah.
M: So She's not paying us, ever.
C: *laughs* yeah, turn it on! TURN IT ON!
M: Sorry, if you want the cable, you have to pay for the cable. *talks really slow, as if to a brain dead pet*
C: *long string of swearing and accusations* TURN IT ON!
M: Sorry, no *click*
It seems that for 20%+ of all servicable accounts, whether cable, electric, water, internet or telephone services, "ma momma's dead" is the excuse we hear every single month. I always enjoyed reading back through the account history and doing a count over just how many times this person's momma died. They do it over and over, rack up a huge bill, get disconnected, claim the person who opened the account is dead so they dont have to pay, then squeal as loud as they possibly can to get free service meanwhile, claiming you were mean or racist or made fun of their momma to your supervisor, any lie just to get a free month of cable. Reading through the history, you'll find that these "customers" often have had accounts for upwards of 4-5 years, their momma died 15 times, and they've recieved at least 2 of those years of service for free. And if you put your foot down and cut off the service they're not paying for, some mouthbreathing moron supervisor walks over and gives the "customer is always right" speech, and berates you for hours over the slanderous lies the thief told him.
This is why I am SO happy to be out of customer service.
Of course I do miss pressing the microphone of the headset up to the earphone and blowing our thir eardrums on the other end, claiming it's just innocent phone line interference.
I don't know how a billing agency couldnt have a system or policy for death though. It's not like you wake up in the morning and remember to cancel your account because of the car wreck you're going to have in two hours on the way to work.
__________________
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Last edited by lonnarin : 02-22-08 at 01:15 PM.
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