Vulcan Pick-Up Lines

[lonnarin]

A friend of mine recently sent these to me. I'm going to have to use them some time!


I have found a deficiency in my personal wireless communications device. It appears it lacks the combination of numbers necessary to contact you

Do you subscribe to the concept of predestined affection based on initial visual perception, or shall I walk by again?

I wish to request you accompany me to my quarters. Would the answer I receive be consistent with the answer you give for this question?

You are the primary stimulus which causes males of the species to release endorphins and experience sexual desire.

Would you consent to placing yourself upon my seated form, such that we may engage in discussion regarding whatever topic may come to our attention?

I require aid in ascertaining the spring constant of my regulation mattress. Would you care to collect data?

Because of your exceptionally 'dazzling' physical appearance, I seem to have temporarily lost my sense of sight. It is only logical you provide me with your name and number -- strictly for insurance reasons.

Is it possible that you have inadvertently drifted off your projected course? This seems likely, given that 'heaven' does not appear to be anywhere in the vicinity.

Were I given the authority to reorganize the Roman alphabet, I would endeavor to align 'U' in closer proximity to 'I'.

I wish to confirm your proficiency at cardiopulmonary resuscitation, as I find myself experiencing an increased probability of respiratory system malfunction while in your vicinity.

Is it possible that you have substantial training in interior decorating? This room appears to have become significantly more aesthetically pleasing since you entered it.

Were you harmed on your descent from a questionably defined superlative afterlife?

If indeed one's physical appearance were capable of instigating the death of an individual, you would be capable of complete annihilation of a species.

Are you in possession of any dried, sugar-coated grapes? As this is apparently not the case, how would a date suit you?

Were I to inform you that it is my opinion that you are in possession of a body which is exceptionally pleasing, what is the likelihood you would hold it against me?

May I remark that the garments covering your lower body appear unusually reflective today? I find that it is possible to view myself in them.

Did the tectonic plates beneath the crust of this planet just shift and overlap so as to cause vibrations to reach the surface or are you just exceedingly attractive?

Pardon me, but I wish to ascertain if you hold a clerical position at the Academy book repository for I am, indeed, "checking you out," as it were.

I am concerned that you are not showing signs of fatigue as you have been vigorously sprinting through the confines of my subconscious since dawn.

Have the atmospheric controls for this room defaulted to an unusually high temperature many degrees above recommended levels -- or is it just you?

Theoretically, if you were a phaser rather than an organic being, you would be decidedly inefficient as your only plausible setting would be "stunning".

That standard issue Starfleet uniform accentuates your peak physical form admirably, but it is my professional opinion that said garment would be far better suited for a relocation to the floor of my personal quarters.

Do you have any Vulcan genomes in you? ....Would you like to?

I wish to inquire as to whether or not you prefer to recline on your stomach while sleeping. If not, may I?