A guy named William Schnoebelen ranting about the evil that is D&D

OmegaZERO · 06-05-05, 07:32 PM

Some of you may not find this quite as funny as I do, but this guy's blatant lies
(in my opinion... ex: http://www.chick.com/information/aut...chnoebelen.asp " Through much travel and also trance channeling, they came in contact with supposedly high "Spiritual Masters" (both physical and astral beings), who told them that different currents of power were necessary to totally fulfill them as authentic seekers on the Path of Wisdom.")
have me laughing my butt off.

http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp

Vyris · 06-06-05, 06:41 PM

sheeesh.

LIGHTNING BOLT!

Vyris

Dorganath · 06-06-05, 06:58 PM

*rifles through his 1st Ed. rule books for details on these rituals*

*finds nothing*

*makes some comment about his deeply religious D&D-playing friends*

*adds the author to his "Misguided Moron" list*

LIGHTNING BOLT!!!

OneST8 · 06-06-05, 07:02 PM

Quote:

*adds the author to his "Misguided Moron" list*
LIGHTNING BOLT!!!

Couldn't have said it better myself

hehe

FraterAudcal · 06-07-05, 11:09 AM

Oh man, Chick! Read his Bible Tract Comic things. They're freaking hilarious. I read one on how Freemasons are actually worshipping Satan, disguised as the "Divine Architect", who is actually the Baphomet. This Freemason worshipping the Baphomet causes much evil to overcome his family, as his son gets in a nearly fatal car accident. But wait! The evil Freemason turns to Jesus, and all is saved! *coughloadofcrapcough*

ZeroVega · 06-07-05, 11:49 AM

� Hehe, few things I'm gonna say that I think are pretty interesting...

� All those DnD suicides were commited in the 70s and 80s *coughs* it's been at least 17 years since his latest one.
� Umm... what gives him any credibility? He religeon hopped for years. Seems like he couldn't make up his mind. What makes me (a christian my entire life) want to believe him?
� ""Those people were just weird or losers to begin with. I'm too together to fall into stuff like that. It's just a game!" Yeah, and an H-bomb is just a firecracker!" Err... yeah... it is just a game.
� Also, I note that he keeps saying that these rituals are real. Umm... I don't think ANYONE here thinks these things are real. Quite frankly I think this guy's a nutter, who reads too much in to everything.

� I think this guy was probably dropped on his head as a child, and fell off his rocker some time between wanting to be a priest at the age of 5, and heading into the "church of satan" just a guess though.

Really really hope my mom doesn't get a hold of something like this...
� Funny how many parents and adults say "kids are so impressionable, they shouldn't be allowed to play with this stuff" then they go and read one article and take everything in there as fact.� O_o�Anyway, I'm out... gotta go pick up my Enchanted Yew Staff from Grobble Gunker at the thrift shop.

slipperhero · 06-07-05, 12:15 PM

This is some scary stuff.
I know there's a lot of religious freaks out there and this one goes into my hall of fame.
*bookmarks under Strange stuff*

FraterAudcal · 06-07-05, 08:47 PM

Heh, look at this: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

Rasterick · 06-10-05, 12:16 AM

Hmmmm! I find these sort of people mildly disturbing; if not a little sad. While everyone is entitled to their beliefs, I am often amazed at the lengths some will go to to gain recognition and publicity.

*Crosses this guys name off of his Chistmas card list*

Nuzatch · 06-10-05, 12:43 AM

LIGHTNING BOLT!

*Looks up* Aww it's old now...

Someone post that link, it's hilarious...

Anywho, for the record, I am an ordained minister, and I play tons of D&D, so don't read too much into this. My words of wisdom are as follows:

"Moderation is the key."

Seriously. As long as there is balance and you don't let a single thing take over your life, you're doing good.

lonnarin · 06-13-05, 10:43 AM

The best way to shut the religious fanatics up is to take their religion and research all of the polytheistic influences behind it. Show them how all the extraplanar servants and opponents of their have the exact same names of ancient gods predating the advent of their own religion, particularly names reoccurring from the ancient Sumerian texts. The feuds between the ancient gods Ennlil and Enki account for the vast majority of modern religions' tales.

The same holds true for D&D campaign setting deities for the most part: Baal, Tiamat, Bahamut, Nergal, Myrkul etc. found in the texts of Egyptians, Akkadians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Hittites and Hebrews. Beshaba for example, was originally the wife of King David who seduced his empire into ruin. Therein lies some truth to fuel their accusations of D&D conflicting with their religion. They see a name of a D&D god and remember when it was used as a defamatory being in their own religion... but seldom do they dig further to realize how many of the beings proposed in their religions did the same by pulling the names of gods from other religions. (Demons: Lucifer, Mammon, Barbatos, Beelzebuth, Moloch etc. as well as Angels: Asmodel/Asmoday, Hanael, Barchiel, Sammuel/Sammael, Anniel(Ennlil!) ) Furthermore, the hierarchy of the heavens is based off the zodiac, numerology and several other "unworldly heathen" sources.

How do I know this? I am a rogue Nephilim hellbent on the destruction of the great Annunaki conspiracy. The biggest secret of all is that the angels are really aliens breeding us for cattle/labor, and that the demons are really angels freeing us from the earth. The gods are merely persons further up in the hierarchy that issue their workers orders with how to handle us.

Why else would self-denial and law be so venerated if not to subjugate a population to obey its masters?

Never trust a man who commands you not to think or question your own morals. Whether its a preacher, politician, teacher, coach or parent; self-realization and exploration of truth is vital to spiritual/moral/biological/intellectual evolution. (hence why the "Light/truth-bringer is the most demonized of all their foes)

Filatus · 06-22-05, 03:13 AM

Quote:

lonnarin - 6/13/2005 9:43 PM
When I applied for Lodge membership, I was a witch, and attended an Episcopal church.

Applied? And there was I thinking that you had to be invited. Ah well, mister witch/mason/christian will probably know better.

Chief Waha · 06-22-05, 09:04 AM

This is the funniest thing I've ever read!

Filatus · 06-23-05, 02:33 PM

Quote:

lonnarin - 6/22/2005 7:40 PM

*Looks long and hard at his above post*

There is what I said...

*shifts the Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass southward to an apparant quote of him that bears no truth or resemblnce whatsoever*

I'm still wondering where that quote came from... since I completely reject wicca I could never be a witch, and I've never tried to get into a Freemason Lodge. Just another unsolved mystery I suppose.

Oh, already pm'd lonnarin about it but I feel a bit responsible for this. I wanted to quote the witchgeek so I quoted lonnrin but forgot to change names. The quote is from the website.... from the geek.

Turnsy · 06-24-05, 08:01 PM

Seriously this guy has issues and by the look of it, he enjoys his own little fantasy world where everyone who doesnt follow his thinking is EVIL. Talk about being out of touch with reality.

LoganGrimnar · 06-25-05, 09:45 AM

i was at a gameing convention in LA a few months ago playing a PVP game. We were taking a launch when some kid about 10 or 12 er somthing walks up and asks somthing about a bone wand of frost. I belive he asked where could one find a bone wand of frost or how to craft one. So the DM's kinda explained how he could make a bone wand of frost like IG, but we were all rather confused on what this kid was talking about. But then i belive he asked somthing like, where can i find the bone (being human bone) and we were all confused once again. So they started kinda messing with him and told him that he could go to a church and go into the alter, which they said had a small chunk of jessus bone or somthing. then he could put saphirese(however its spelt) into the stone some how. ANYWAY, he walked off and we all looked at one another in shock. we could not figure if he was speeking of IG or RL. Strange looking nerdy kid, should have got an signiture, might be worth somthing when he gose nuts and kills people.

lonnarin · 06-27-05, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Filatus - 6/23/2005 4:33 PM

Oh, already pm'd lonnarin about it but I feel a bit responsible for this. I wanted to quote the witchgeek so I quoted lonnrin but forgot to change names. The quote is from the website.... from the geek.

aye, no worries, those quoting scripts get confusing.

RouterBlade · 06-29-05, 10:49 AM

HELLBALL!

Grayald · 06-29-05, 12:17 PM

That guy is pretty stupid.