| Poetic License This forum is used to post and share personal works, including poetry, songs and short stories. Please adhere to the posted rules and guidelines. |
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11-21-05, 02:28 AM
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#1 | | Mind Flayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Denmark
Posts: 799
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|  Unite
An essay I wrote in english(class), inspired by the night elf campaign in Warcraft III and by my own char's situation.
The subecjt was that we should choose twenty words from a paper with 30, as I looked at the paper, the first words that I saw was something like: sneak, prey etc. so the story just came naturally.
There migth be some comma mistakes since Ive never learned the difference between danish and english.
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11-21-05, 05:31 AM
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#2 | | Gamemaster Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Back in L-town
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| RE: Unite
Interesting situation, and nice play on prejudice. The story needs a little more flesh; perhaps, a little more description of the hated humans- something to make us sympathize with or hate them more. Right now, all we (the reader) senses is the elves' hatred, and not our own.
__________________  - Milton Yorkcastle "AND STAY DOWN !!!" - Cole Norseman Josh: "You've only known her for five minutes and you're already kissing her?!"
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11-21-05, 05:38 AM
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#3 | | Mind Flayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Denmark
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| RE: Unite
well, that missing background is to make the atmosphere and its only supposed to be seen from the elves view, did you get the point by the way  | | | | |
11-21-05, 06:09 AM
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#4 | | Gamemaster Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Back in L-town
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| RE: Unite
It's not the humans' background, per se', but rather, anything that gives them life, that would be nice. The beast (a wyvern?) has more life than the humans; it appears more real. And I'm assuming I get your point, but then, interpretation is everything and nothing.
__________________ - Milton Yorkcastle "AND STAY DOWN !!!" - Cole Norseman Josh: "You've only known her for five minutes and you're already kissing her?!"
Drake: "I gave her a soda." | | | | |
11-21-05, 06:40 AM
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#5 | | Mind Flayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Denmark
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| RE: Unite
maybe, It was just an english essay Ill remember your advice, though Im still not sure what you mean, from the view of the sisters it doesnt matter how the humans look or what they say.
Actually I deleted a part saying, "there is a point, but its much funnier to find it yourself!" because my english teacher is good at english, but she has missed some things in some other stories I'v written. Actually (scratch scratch) she missed a lot in this story  | | | | |
11-21-05, 10:29 AM
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#6 | | Gamemaster Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Back in L-town
Posts: 2,901
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| RE: Unite
Keep writing. English is a tricky language thanks to Idiom.
Keep this in mind as you do: "Do I write for myself, or for others?"
__________________ - Milton Yorkcastle "AND STAY DOWN !!!" - Cole Norseman Josh: "You've only known her for five minutes and you're already kissing her?!"
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