Aerimor

[Aerimor]

I have decided to take up a journal again.  But decided to start fresh, a new cycle.

I am happier than I have been since before I started the path of Shifter.  It has been a difficult path and I may not of choosen it if I knew the journey ahead of time.  But while my quest is far from over, I have reached a leg of the journey where I am stronger for my past, happy with my present and excited about the future.  

I believe I have made ammends in full for my inccident when I was first awakening my innate powers.  I have not heard form the counsel, and now that is enough for me.  I do not need their judgment any longer.  I am sure they would send word if they thought I had failed to meet their standards.

Ella is stil pregnant with our child and while she was marked by the Deepening Dark, I was very concerned....afraid for the child.  But the temporary protection of the Aeridinites saw her safly to the meeting with the Golden Emerald.  The dragon of my homeland.  And she removed Ella's mark, the child was never marked.  Now Ella is dragon called and owes the Emerald a debt.  To come when called to protect or help the Emerald, should she need it.

Ella now approaches the end of pregnancy, and everything is better than it has been in many years.  She mummbles and gripes about many parts of the pregnancy, but that is her way.  I can see the change that has come over her, she enjoys life again.  I do not knwo what combination it is from becoming a mother, the reaction from me and the feelings thus stirred, her maturing, her heart remembering itself and other factors.  But she is a good mother and she has found her path again.  I can not express the joy this has returned to both of our lives.  We were both shadows or ourselves.  Now that we have talked, rallied together and verified our love with each other, we are stronger and happier then we had become over the last years.

Zain has grown into a young man, or possible two.  Humans get so big so fast.  I fear soon he will start his path truely as a ranger and face the dangers of the adventuring life.  I hope Ella and I have given him the tools to succeed.  Humans live so short of time, it would pain us if his life before cycle were cut short.  But if that comes to be, he could never be forgotten.  Zain has taught me much and changed both all of our lives for the better and forever.  I love my son and am also proud and anxious to see how he will do.

i have taken up to trying to collect contribution to the rebuilding of the Ovdear site.  I am sorely disappointed with others willingness to contribute.  Ella and I have decided to donate much of what we had on hand and craft to the project, I hope it will make a differance.  Ella is going to create a golden tree with 100 gems as leaves.  Diamonds and Greenstones.  I will enchanct them with a few druidic spells to give the tree a feeling of nature and connection.  We are going to donate it in the name or names of our children.

I continue my other project.  I orginally started helping the farmers around Port Hempstead fields to makes ammends for my actions in that area.  And it also offered a great mental escape during difficult times.  I even had Ella's house built in the fields, so I could be easily access when not adventuring by the farmers of the area.  Many have coem to call over the years.  When there was trouble with an animals birth, or an injury in the field.  I have tried to show those that listen how to maximize their crops and replenish the soil.  They are better than I about growing their crops, it is their life.  But their are many tricks I have been able to teach those that are willing.  Like plants to plant among or around their to discourgare insects or foraging animals.  And I have rellocated many such animals to parts of the forest or woods, where their foraging helps continue the cycle of growth.  The foragers often plant the next generation of plants.  I have an idea I am goign to look into to help strengthen the fields near hempstead.  I will have to speak to a few more knowledgable in the Al'Noth than myself.  But if it would work, it should leave a lasting effect on the farming lands.  Adn that would reduce the clearing of forest for more crop lands.  The balance would be sooner reached and titled further in favor of the animals and forests in the area.

The angels guild has been a good desicion.  I orginally only joined because Ella wanted to.  But in doing so I have gained more friends, a family of sorts.  And Ella and I are able to work at our crafts.  It has been a wonderful focus at times for the both of us.

I look with anxious heart towards the nearing birth and the start of a new cycle.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

I am pressed to my capabilities at the present. I am a new father again. I am the main collection and fund raiser for the Ovdear reconstruction on Mistone.  I am now in charge of the Angel's Mistonian defense project.  Mainly collecting weapons from the guild, storing them and shipping them off.  I believe I heard Hedessa and my name mentioned at the last meeting to be in charge of oraginizing a soiree of sorts.  Profits  to be devided to the Mistonian defense and the Ovdear project.  My continues efforts to help the farmers of Hempstead and my side project to strengthen the crops.  And I have just found a new depth of my kobold form.

Mera is wonderful.  Ella is overwhlemed by her however.  Lack of rest and reverie.  I can tell something has happened between Ella and Steel.  I will approach her on one of her more rested moments.

I tried new tactics and became more aggressive in my attempts to raise funds for Ovdear.  It looks like Ovdear may now have something to show for it after all.  I have enough contributions to host and auction.  And then I will still have enough left for a low end raffle or more likely door prizes for the duo effort party.

I need to get something off my list for a while and I think its the pet project with the Hempstead fields that will be my first attempt.  I will redouble my efforts to find a contact to help me come up with a way to help protect the crops in the field.  If war comes, all crops will be of critical value.  And an increase or at least solid of foodstuffs will be of immense value to attempt to keep balance in the land and nature.  If we loss too many food crops, its first the stores that will suffer but after that it will be the animals in the forests that will be targeted to fill stomachs.  I have had many farmers visit me recently with concerns.  Worried that Hempstead will seize their crops. I beleive some were hopful to be able to gouge prices.  But most are just honest good folk that are concerned with stability and saftey.

I will have to speak with Hedessa and see what our plans our.  I believe when these war efforts and rebuild funds for Ovdear are secured, I will have to take some time in a more tranquil manner.  And increase my time at home with my family.  I am waiting for a few more weeks to give those I contacted about contributions time to respond.  But then I will plan the auction at least.  That will be one more thing taken care of.

I have increased my trips to the Mitrix area with many adventurers, the Stonehills, Lareth, Tod, Miss Amanda, Abiorn, Wren, Steel and whoever happens by.  I have also made a few journies into the rift for metal for the Angels and Wren.  Seems I fit in well with different groups.  I presume that means people are fond of having someone else blunt the axes and spells of enemies.

Hopefully next I write I will have a project or two more under control or completed.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

Ovdear auctions are meeting with some success.  Some of the big value items simply have no interest at reasonable rates.  With that said, the auctions are generating significant funds.  I am also continuing to find new things on adventure and donating them to the Ovdear fund.

Mistonian defense fund, has turned into mostly paper work.  I collect items form the guild, take them home, crate them and send the correct paperwork throug channels a few days latter someone with a cart and escort arrives.  We pack them up and off it goes.  

Mera is wonderful, she has begun to roll over and her smiles dim the sun in comparison.  Zain needs to find his path in full.  So much talent and heart.  He has begun limited forays into the world.  Ella and I are the best we have been in years.  We have taken to playing silly tricks on each other.  At first I saw no real point in this and also thought they were accidentle.  But I come to find out it does her heart good to engage in such frivolous behavior.  Now that I have gotten into it.  I do find it entertaining.  The same trick again is no real challenge, so it offers the challenge of being creative.  Ella likes to rearrange things at home.  She considers me a 'neat freak'.  She is mistaken of course, I am merely organised.  So I took her travel pack once when she was resting and began oraginising it.  Unfortunatly she returned downstairs to catch me in the act.  I also had continual flame cast on her boots.  Took her a while to figure out she was glowing.  She was a bit hyper when she figured it out.  After de-lighting her boots she said I had best keep an eye out, somethign about payback. I think I am going to hire a wizard to trap my pack for a while.  Some sort of stunning spell so if i catch her she will have to stand by while I take her bag and oraginise it.

I finally have a few leads on my 'crop magic' idea.  I will write more when I find out any details.  But with the impending war, I think anything to help the farmers and their crops would be of importance.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

Life is very good.  Ella seems happier and to have a path.  I know she is worried about where to go if the war comes to our door step but I assured her we will be fine in Voltrex if no where else.  I am confident Ovdear would not turn us away, especially Mera and Zain.

Ella went on an adventure with us into the orsgaunt mountians.  She seemed to really enjoy herself.  I am glad she got to come with me for a change.  The only detriment to the journey was Jaelle's company.  Even though Ella teases jaelle all the time, I think she is growing to have feelings or sympathy for her.  This could be a dangerous thing,  I will have to keep an eye on it.  I do not want Jaelle getting to Ella and I do not want Jaelle around Mera.  In fact I think the best place for Jaelle remains to be as compost.  I despise her.

When I returned from the trip I had to spend a few days in meditation and rounds of my favored physical exercises.  A few I had not partook in in great dedication since my time as a prisoner.  I have a few more sore muscles, but I plan to readd them to my daily routine.  They help me find the state and frame of mind I prefer.  At time when I reach the most focused of trances, it is as if I can feel every mote of life on Layonora.  And I loose myself at times contemplating the invisible cords or even chords that run between them all.  It never ceases to impress me on how all things touch and depend on each other.  That there be order and balance to the world.  That is why creatures such as undead, who walk blindly without tie to the world around them are so abominable.  They just move through the world, cutting the ties that bind all together as they move.  And other creatures such as Jaelle, who sound more chords of dissonace than she will ever contribute notes to the harmony of all, bother me so.  Sometimes in my meditations it is as if I hear the symphony of the world and the many small notes of discordia.  The strings that refuse to play in harmony and meter. That instead cry out in dissonace, pay head to me.

It is this mental image that I envision when I take a new form.  I see my essence, my soul sliding along the strings of Layonora, finding the chord or note I am seeking and then returning to my body and mimicing the notes heard.  Duplicating the 'sound of soul' and allowing me through the Al'noth to take the forms I do.  I seek the chord of dragons now, I believe besides my fascination with them, they are an iresistable physical form and a vital string in the world around us.  If this I can find and reproduce, I will seek new horizons or melodies.

   Instead of the physical form, I may focus on finding a way to free my energy or soul from its physical restraints.  The powers of a shifter or soulwalker are all based and dependant on the force of will or soul of the shifter.  And in that regard, maybe seeking only physical forms is in itself a limitation.  A crutch of the familiar.  My only fear upon this path is that spirit walking could be far more dangerous than I even consider.  If opened to a world as unlimiting, energetic and marvelous as that....If you cast off your physical form, opening yourself directly to the energies or haromies of Layonora could you then convince yourself to once again be limited by flesh and blood? I beleive it would take the utmost of discipline, dedication and grounding.  As long as I have Ella and the children, I believe I would return, no matter how pleasing such an experience may or may not be.

So many things to consider in a world as wonderous as ours, but while my dreams may soar, I will keep my feet on the ground. Dreams are great tools, but its through the dedication of the daily life that dreams are accomplished. One step at a time: patience, dilligence, planning and caution.  

First to find the chord of dragons.  

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

There have been major shifts in Layonora.  The weave of the Al'noth has changed, strengthened in some way and just changed in others.  The earth cries out in pain, earth creatures are weakening.  I have to think this is related, but noone seems to know where to look, how to help.

I have heard that Rhizome walks again.  I have to believe he can not slumber through the pain of Layonora, I hope he can help or find a path to follow.  There are many quakes, mithril has dissapeared and many think the earth will collapse in on itself.  The deep would be destroyed and that would be very good.  But there is balance in all things, and the balance is most everyone on the surface would die as well.  Such major and quick changes would be too violent for the surface.  Skies would darken, tidals waves, earthquakes beyond anything we coudl imagine, lakes and oceans gone.  Mountian ranges destroyed.  Life lose on a catastrophic level.  And if these shifts were to happen at a slower rate, then the deep would empty onto the surface and the resulting life loss would be about as complete.  


Verideth has returned to stay from his visits to Voltrex. I wonder if this is a portent of challenges to come for us both.  I only hope a cause is found or an action to help is proposed.  It pains me to be an observer and unable to tend to her needs.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

End of a path?

It has been a desire of mine to find the penacle of the Shifter's path.  The ability to take a dragon's form.  The realization came to me while in the conflux of the temple of raidiance and shadow.  There is a dark balance in that place, old magics.  But they speak to me all the same.  It has notes or chords that are played to those that know how to listen.  Those monks, dark and evil as they may be understood dedication and balance.  I listened to what they had put in place, what they dedicated themselves to.  After all in many ways I am their ilk.  Always seeking answers form within, through dedication and persistance.  But i came to an important and profound understanding while meditating between the converging energies.  That this was just one aspect, one energy that was being balanced.  They were wholly dedicated to but one aspect, hence why I believe they fell to evil.

While sitting there, hearing in my heart, my soul the chord they devoted themselves to, I realized it was incomplete.  My mind raced back to another temple, another chord of balance.  The temple of the elements, the temple of elemental balance.  Another sect of monk's that dedicated themselves to an aspect of balance.  This one was more or less a dedication to the Elements of Layonora.  In many ways simply a representation of Layonora itself.  That temple always held a special place with me.  Its chords of balance beautiful.  So rich, so full.  But whilst I sit there in the temple of shadow and raidiance, in energies from beyond Layonora i realized that the temple of Elemental balance was in its way incomplete as well.  That it focused on Layonora without regards to the outside forces.  As the temple of light and dark focused on bringing powers from outside layonora to layonora.  That they in themselves balanced each other.  That their seperate chords played together completed the melody.  That as much as I wish to focus on my turmoils within, and control everything outside myself through presistant dedicated self discipline, that that is a near sighted outlook.  Everyone affects each other, as the outside affects Layonora.  That no matter the individual strength of a person or Layonora, they can be wounded or killed by outside forces.

That to maximize your strength you have to look outward as well as inward.  i know this is all hyperbola and i do not have the words to relate a profound spiritual understanding.  But the truth still remains the same.  I have found my peace for now.  I will make one more attempt at amends with the counsil.  But if that fails, i will not let it deter me from my obligations.  I know my test of this cycle is yet to come, and I shall continue to prepare for it.  I will welcome the allies i have and strive to not take everything upon myself alone.  I wil not shirk from working alone when the need is upon me.  I understand myself well now, with the two chords as one I hear the music of the dragon and can call upon it.  But i no longer believe that to be the epitome of a Shifter's path.  I beleive there is one step more to take.  I have tapped into the power of the most physically singificant form I can think of.  So what would be beyond that?  What is stronger than spirit or soul?  The reliance on a physical form, why do we do that?  Is it mandatory or what we are familiar with?  Many undead exsist outside a corporeal form, so its not mandatory.   But can such a form be taken by a living mortal?  Can it be employeed for good, for balance, for nature.  Can it be taken without going to cycle or the soul mother?  Is that what happens to old shifters?  Do they simple complete their path and return to cycle.  To be born again and start a new path?  These are questions that haunt me, that actually scare me.  I made pledges to Ella, Zain and Mera.  But it is who I am, I must persue this path to its conlusion.

I believe in balance, and in my heart I beleive it will work out.  This is my religion, this is my purpose.  Whatever comes of the path ahead, it is one that I must follow.  

i will now attempt to sue for ammends with the counsil, I know my path is a lonely one.  But I do not wish to alienate those that serve the same ends I do.  Even if they do not hear my calling, we all tend to the calling of Layonora and fanatically defend her.  With my new outlook, outside as well as inward.  To the forces acting upon Layonora from beyond as to the life of Layonora herself many things are clearer.  The weave of the Al'noth is easier for me to call than ever before.

Here is to the path yet to be traveled.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

I realise with every passing week, what a pain in the neck Alatriel can be.  She is often a lot of trouble.  Always picking at me, swiping things, rearranging things, leaving messes, insisting I try new things on occasion,  and the worst of all ruffling my hair.  I must be completly in love, there is no other way to explain it.  

I don't even really mind the hair ruffling when she does it, it always makes her smile bright.  Well as long as I get a chance to repair the damage of course.  Self confidence begins with feeling good about yourself. Granted I have worn much worse, the face of a Dark Elf for instance.  But a clean and orderly appearace promotes confidence and good first impressions.

Zain is fully grown now and has turned out to be a man of consideration.  I am anxious to see what he chooses with his life and where his part in the balane of all brings him.

Mera is talking and almost walking, she is talented and bright.  We are lucky with her, a happy child.  Content to play alone and nothing but smiles for attention.  

I am forunate in my life, with friends and family.

It is past time that I forge forward with my path.  I have communicated with the Council about the troubles plauging Layonora.  They have welcomed the information and been open with me.  It is time to bring forth their sentence and tell them I am no longer in debt to any for that incident.  That they can accept an ally or accept that I will see to all of our goals on my path alone.  I realize just how common it is for a Shifter to be outcast, or remove themselves from others.  I have felt that desire many times.  Without the friends and family I have, I would live that very life.  My use of the Al'noth may seem foreign to all but one of the Council, but my goals and ties to Layonora and the Cycle are as strong as any.

I was recently in the Great Forest and the trees, the earth spoke to me.  Directly to me, I may not of been choice one, I am not Rhizome.  But she knew I would hear, I would listen and I did.  I passed this information to the Council, my first real communication with them since the incident.  And I realized that I owe them nothing.  I am my keeper, not any other.  I have made ammends because I know I have, not because they proclaim such or not.  That frame of mind was a carry over from those times, when I was weak and confused.  When I wanted to be told the answers.   It has no place for me any longer, just as in many ways that thinking lead to Ella and my troubles.  It wasn't until it was changed that our relationship grew again.  This is exactly the same, except its my love of what I am and my place in helping Layonora.  So I will offer my hand to the Council, but I know myself and my place, without their judgment.  I just hope they accept and have information for me to act upon, to do what I can for Her.  Layonora is in depseration, She needs all of our help and now.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

Amazing how thing work.  Maybe in my sending word to the Council they detected something, or perhaps chance at work.  But one of the Oak stopped by my house and we talked for a while.  She is a very odd one, put Ella and I both on edge.  But she was a sister and meant well, we all have out oddities.  Some more than others.  She said she had heard of me while visiting the Council.  I cna not imagine that an overly good thing.  I imagine someone just mentioned that the information I passed along came from me.  But it is also possible they were making note of the name in comparrison to the last is circled through the Council.  In anycase, she never did say why she wished to see me only that she did.  In the end she took us to the grove she tends near the Ire Mountians.  Magnificient.  We talked a while and at conclusion she offered to take a message to the Council.  She would not say if she was bid to do such or it was mearly an offer.  I took her up on it in any case.

I told her to tell the Council, I am well and whole. I do not need them to be my keeper.  As things should be, I am officially my own keeper again.  I have been for many years but wish it to be said.  I am a servant of nature and her claws.  I am an ally to the Council, and as such if they have any need of my talents they only have to let me know.  My mind is clear, my heart is true and my hand is open.

I have taken to rounds in the Great Forest, there is a sickening amount of giants.  And they always leave a wake of destruction in their path.  The Trollocs I encounter I have started to kill on limited basis.  If I knew more about them it would help.  I believe them to be some race or creature warped by magics.  One rumor is they were created at the Black Wizard's Tower.  I think they are older than that, but then again I do not know how long that tower has stood.  I find Trollocs more agreeable than the giants.  however the Trollocs seem to kill everything that cross their paths, people, bears, birds, rabbits.  Anything to slow to get out of the way.  But they seem to leave the Trees alone at least.  If the Trolloc's number could be kept at a reasonable number they could well serve the Forest, acting as a deterant.  But at the numbers they seem to live in, they are taxing on the balance.  Things to consider, where the greater good is and at what number?  Certainly it is a shame that they and the giants to not come into contact more often.

I have started exploring the deep, often with Ms Amanda, sometimes alone.  I know its a system of its own, and part of nature, but I find little beauty in it.  An occasional mushroom grove, phosphoresent fungus and the underground body of water.  But the lack of light wears on me quickly.  Teh intensity of darkness is almsot overwhelmign at times.  Especially when alone.  I find myself increasing the duration of my mediations and partaking in extra sessions of training.  Maintaining my body and coordination.  Balance in all things, this is still part of the good that came from my imprisonment.  I chance to reset, think things through and find my path and the chance to dedicate myself to my own body and worth.  I carry many of the patterns and movements from my exercises and practices over to my fighting while in other forms.  I once wondered what it would be like to use a few moves I saw of others as a panther,  well now I know.  I am no where near as talented as many I have seen, but the basics carry over well.  Even to my dragon form.  Mostly I find them useful for positioning my enemies at distance enough to allow my companions the best chances to striek at them.  I do take up a lot of space as a dragon and can be difficult to get around or fight near.  The training also focuses on beig aware of ones surroundings and mindful of how your actions with case reactions of your opponents and allies.

Simply proclaiming for myself what I sent to the Council has removed a burden I have been carrying too long.  I feel more at peace than ever.  I doubt I would even take the time to chomp Jealle in half in a lawless area if the oppurtunity presented itself.  Well unless she was being particularly annoying or unbinding to those around her.  Ella and my relationship is deeper than ever as well.  We have come to a very peaceful and ...enjoyable relationship.  I realize most of her pokes as what they are now, signs of affection.  Even the hair ruffling is not soo bad, but I will keep that form her for now.  As long as she leaves my parasol alone everything will be well.  She seems to be flirting with some goal or choice.  I do not know if she realizes it, but she it ready for her next change.  Home life is peaceful and realible, safe.  So if I know Ella, she will be looking for a new aspect of chance, danger, excitment soon.  I am curious what shape it will take.  If part of the Ella that was will resurface or if the face of yet another side of her will surface.  It is all so wonderful to consider.  And to contemplate where and how it all came to be.

Here in one of Layonora's darkest times, come my most peaceful exsistance.  Balance in all things.  I am considering to go to the emerald chamber and see why the demons are there, to confirm my suspicions.  I hope to buy a numebr of beryl dusts, if I am unable, I do not like my chances for escaping.  But this information could be key, and thus worth the risk.

I need to meditate and perform my routines before Ella returns and takes it as her mission to distract me.  She still after all this time finds no use for meditation or routines.  Her inner strength comes from some place entirely differant.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

I am in the Hammerbound mountians with a group I hardly know.  A week ago while meditating at home, I felt the growing call from the north.  I felt at first this was yet another mystery unlocking within myself, but as the hours passed, I realised it was an external melody.  That as I came to find out later- the Shifter's Path or the Path of Claws was opened.  

Ever since traveling to the area where the path once opened before , I have held interest in it.  I was with Storold at the time and he explained the history in no great detail, that it was where a Shifter of old once walked a path that tested.

Now I find that the path is not bound by area, but by a journal of ancient power.  The journal can open the path.  The path, which is a curse to most.  For the path calls to those that are close enough and promises them their dreams.  For whatever reason the path calls loudest and strongest to those that can shapechange,  Druids and Shifters.  I have not seen any were-creatures as of yet.  

I have seen a druid lost in bear form.  I think he was as lost in his bear form as I once was in my panther form.  And I know that is not the worst of it.  From my understanding as you near the path or walk upon it, you are drawn to fight and kill others on the path.  I am told this is a certainty.

I disbelieve that your actions are controlled if you are strong enough, focused enough.  But I know that many of my brethren are even now not only dying but killing.  The path must be closed, it is not natural and its prolonged exsistance will upset the balance.  This is the Chaos that those like me exist to limit.  

I left alone, and joined with this group of others, because I believe the Cult may well have numbers guarding the journal. I worry for many here, that they may be lost as we grow nearer.  But that is the way of nature, losses are suffered, lives lost, that the world may carry forth and balance be restored.  As a caretaker, its my concern to make this shifting away from and back to balance as smooth and easy as possible.  The greater the break in balance the more painful it is when its restored. As for my companions, they are each here with knowledge of the risks and by choice.  They choose their own paths.

Oddly enough, many of them think me a great danger, a worry of becoming a slave to the call. When I am actually more concerned of that very fate befalling them.  I do not fear the path, nor for my will to be tested.  Ever since _that_ day it is what I have lived and worked to become.  Confident and my own master.  I am pleased that I have spoke my peace to the Council, set things right.  They will have enough to worry about and I have may have no room for doubts.  The main concern here is to restore balance.  This will likely be done by retrieving the Journal.  Possibly there is another way to close the Path.  But if they retain the journal, I am sure they will only open it again.  

I admit the promises to me from the path are tempting.  For I know they are not illusions.  I imagine most are promised happier times from their past, power, wealth, lost loved ones.  What is offered to me is simply a test, a chance to bring balance, save some of my brethren, trouble the Cult and gain a deeper look into myself.  These are not empty illusions.  They are all very real.  If we take the journal, the Cult will be thwarted in this one small arena, many of my brethren will be saved and free to contribute again, and a step towards restoring balance will be achieved.  

If we can close the Path, and I opperate within my normal parameters while this close to the Path, I will know greater internal peace.  Once again assured that the past will not be repeated. The last, the deeper look into myself, no matter the outcome as long as I live, this will be achieved.  

Why does this path call strongest to my brethren? How does it?  These are questions that may in time be answered as well.  

This is a time of danger and opportunity.  

I have dispatched letters to Wren, Ms Amanda and Alatriel.

~Aerimor

//Folded inside is a copy of a letter sent, there is a large ink stain upon the page and Aerimor obviously thought to rewrite it and send a cleaner version.//

Ms Amanda,

  I am unsure where you went to. Whispers are the you went with the others to face an army.  Please be thoughtful and resourceful.  If this is the Cult's minions, they are formidable.  Remember they are foriegners, use the lands and terrian to your advantage.

Also know, I am well and optimistic. You left before I could reassure you, so I hope these few words suffice.  My life it about control and balance, I assure you I remain in such.  I seek to find the journal, with it we can thwart the Cult and open the path when and if I deem it wise to do so.  And as I draw closer and know that there are no dark voices speaking, no emotions rising, no single minded devotion in myself. I know that my life, my way of living, and my confidence is not misplaced.

If anything happens to myself, know it was rationally deemed worth the risk.  There are many of my brethren lost and lossing themselves on this path.  They are caught unprepared for this. I have dedicated my life to this very thing.  In fact I believe in balance, my failure early on in my path may of been for this very reason.  To drive me to be strong, in control and prepared for this very event.  The world works in mysterious ways. But you must open yourself up to its mysteries to find your true path.

Wether this Path of Claws is my path now or not is all but irrelevant.  As long as it remains open, things are out of balance.  Balance must be restored, the path closed, the journal collected and the Cult opposed.

I look forward to seeing you well and whole.  Worry not about what you can not affect for now, and focus on keeping you and yours alive.

With sincerest admiration,

Aerimor

[Aerimor]

The path was closed.  The cult was thwarted.  I failed to walk the path, and if I was to walk it again, I would fail again.  One of the tests required you to give yourself in faith to chaos.  I would break my vows to myself and Ella if I did such, I would never be able to pass.  I promised to never again loose control.

Since that event some many weeks ago, I have went inactive with the Angels.  I have also curbs my adventuring to a minimum and remain at home for the majority of my time.  I am strengthening my bonds with Ella and Mera and enjoying the life of a father and for lack of better term, husband.  I spend a great deal of my time soul searching.  What does one do when they have a dream, confort it and realise it is nothing as hoped.  I believe it is time to find a new goal, a new dream and rededicate myself to it.  I spend vast amounts of in meditation when Mera is being watched.

I have come to terms that while I failed on the Path, it was also the Path that failed me.  As important as it was to me to complete the path to demonstrate my control of my powers it was more important to me to keep my word.  After all in this case my word was a direct representation of my control.  I do not regret my choices, I call the day a victory even if it was very dissapointing at the time.

I have taken one adveture since then, becuase I was asked by a friend.  I believe soon I will be adveturing more.  Or perhaps I will attempt to find a teacher for more intense meditation, self reflection and my goal of spirit walking.  That is my new goal, or renewed goal.  I still believe that I do not need a physical form for my shifting.  I believe the soul can manifest itself as energy, power, magic ..whatever term on prefers.  I just beleive I must continue my meditative trances deeper, more focused and stronger.  To find and latch onto not only my essence itself but Layonora's life blood of Al'noth.
I will begin looking for others that could assist me.  I beleive I will pay visit to the Monestary of Dreams.  I think that would be a logical first step.

It feels good to have a dedicated goal again.  But for now Mera is awake.

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

//out of play note.  The player, me, just found out that Layonora Monks have no mystical properties, abilities or ties.  As such please regard everything previously in that light.  With this information they would never have been as interesting to Aerimor.  With that out of the way, future journal entries will reflect his new goals expectations and drives. They will ignore the previously written parts that have no work around and incorporate his current thoughts with correct lore in mind.

~DV

[Aerimor]

With my family bonds restrengthened, my physical being regimented and my spiritual goals set and reaffirmed I look to complete my balance and turn my attention to my friends, guild and world around me.

I have sent word to Miss Amanda and Wren asking to meet with them.
I will speak with Ferrit and Ben and inform them that I have time again and available to return from inactive status if they retain need of me.
And I will travel to Ov'dear with another shipment of donations and see how the buildign progresses.  

I am sure by now Ov'dear has a new set of needs.  Let me see if an outside presence can once again get things moving forward.  And if there is anything then I can assist them with using my own unique assets and abilities.  As with the elves let Ov'dear be a symbol of loss and rebirth for myself and for Ella and I.  

~Aerimor

[Aerimor]

Port Hempstead was hit by a massive wave.  Much of the city is damaged, many lives lost and many more displaced.  The ugly side of humanity now shows.  There is of course benevolance, rebuilding and support.  But there is also greed, destruction, and selfishness.  Its moments of adversity that show character as well as times of normality.  I am afraid the humans may grow too slowly for the planet to endure them.  In times of relative calm what did they do to prepare for the future? Their sewers back up spreading disease, their food stores are limited and they rely on others and they had no plan in effect.  Even now, more waves are brewing and I hear no plan or true actions being taken.  The city is being partially rebuilt.  But to what effect?  The next wave will undo it all and half the city this time.  I know the druids are lending aid, in that there is hope.  Calm these storms before they bear their loads of destruction.  And arrange drainage to the city to at least empty it of the water it now holds.  Meanwhile the city has given free rights to all loggers to tear the forest down and use the wood to make temporary barracades, to build temporary shelters and to repair damages.  I am sure some group will eventually convince them to replant what was taken, but to what effect?  I fear it will be too little too late.  Mistone simply can not keep up with the rate at which it is taxed.  In the years when elves lived as the keepers of Mistone it was a vibrant forest and we lived in harmony with nature, never taking more than offered and living in symbois.  While the short lived races live more often as parasites, taking what is easy.  

I know I am being harsh, there are great signs of growth and attempts of control among the kingdoms.  But the point of balance is always tipping towards disaster.  I hold to my believes and my word.  I act as guardian for the fields of Port Hempstead.  An unofficial voice of those farmers that care only for their lands and have little voice with the city.  As always my belief is that the wise must shepard the young.  TO give them the example to live by and the tools to plant their own future.  I do as I can to increase crop reduction and prevent the farm lands form being over taxed.  I believe
as always if we can make the most with the land that has already been cultivated then we can spare the axeman's stroke on the forested lands.  And it was with that belief that I approached the town Counsel in the wake of the crisis to speak for the managment and protection of the farm lands as those displaced poured out of the city seeking refuge.  With but one week's
mass of humanity left to its own course would of trampled, destroyed and stolen the very crops they are dependant on for life.  I however recieved more than I bargained for, seeing an easy oppurtunity to shift part of the burden, not only was I given what I sought but more.  I was granted authority to speak for the farmers, farm lands and city in protecting the established boundries but I was also given responsibility of helping maintain peace and overseeing distribution of relief goods. I am not enthuased with the couplation of duties but I will make it work for the best.  As holder of their relief goods I will warrent the power to stop most infraction before they are ever begun.  The Guard of course is the true power here as they represent the city and their uniforms demand compliance to most.  But things progress as well as I hope.  As long as their remains enough food, disease does not outbreak and another waves does not sweep over the city I believe this mass
of humanity will be controlled enough to not harm the fields irreperably.

I had a brief discussion with Elohana were as predicted she spoke for the lives lost and the tragedy of nature.  I told her of course that nature never gives us mroe than we can handle.  With all things living there are seasons. Trials of life to ensure the strengthening of life.  We can only balance chaos with preparedness and planning.  Let this destruction serve as an oppurtunity for the shortsighted to look beyond the horizon they see and past the setting sun of today.  The lives lost here are insignificant to the destruction humans are brining upon themselves.  They must learn to live in harmony with the world around them before it learns to defend itself or is destroyed to the brink.  If that moment comes we will see what true life loss is.  I work to see that never comes to be.  But if the humans ever push past the point of balance on Mistone I plan to depart these lands and leave to other shores.  Shores where I will be forced to adopt a differant philosophy, one more akin to the Dark Father.  But that is too dark of thought for these days.  Occasionally they show such signs of promise and make a leap where I thought I would never witness.  We will see which wins out, their nature or their ability to adapt and grow.

[Aerimor]

The second wave has come and gone from Port Hempstead and the city faired much better through the second.  Rebuilding has began in ernst and some people have begun to trickle back into town.  Much remains to be done
and it will be a while before the refugee camps are no more.  But the season is turning, the worst appears over for now.  Hope once again blooms for Hempstead, for humanity.  It appears the crops and lands will come through this storm in place, to thrive again in time.  It has come to my attention that the forests were heavily hit.  Trees being feld in preperations of the second wave, and now in the name of rebuilding.  I will attempt to presuade the City to replant trees.  For lack of a better term, create wood farms.  Many fields
where forest once stood could be resown with trees for the future.  Trees to be harvested and replanted in continious cycle, trees to sate their needs while leaving the forests of Mistone free of over-harvesting.  There is more than enough land where forests once stood, but the tree crops would not be usuable for many decades, possibly a few human generations.  But if they started now, with thoughts to the future, they could prevent their children's children from many troubles.  And if they convinced druids to assist their
project, the growth could be greatly assisted.  I will indeed write this proposal of counsel to them and see if they are wise enough to plan for the future while faced with the problems of today.

I was engaging Ella in a game she enjoys yesterday.  One where I suggest actions she should take that are outside of her normal palate.  I told her I purchased a ruffled pink gown and matching fashionable women's shoes for
her and intended to take her to a concerto.  It took her a few exchanges to realise this was a fabrication for her enjoyment, as I gave her other things to consider and distract her. Such as telling her it was actually a green dress.  She tried to stall the idea once by bringing up the idea of getting a dress that
would show most or all of her tatoos.  I reminded her that if it showed all of her tatoos, it would hardly qualify as a dress. That withstanding I would be delighted to acompany her dress shoping.  That we could find middle ground and that perhaps I could arrange for us to travel to Voltrex and watch a performance in Elven, the way all truely great productions are performed.  She then suggested that I invite my parents and introduce them to Mera and herself.  

I think she said this in hopes of thwarting my attempt to have her and I dress up and be reminded of culture. It has been too long since I have been reminded of the culture and tradition of my people.  And while I am no longer who I was and will never be again, I do find I miss the experiences.  That aside, I began to think about what I have not thought about in many cycles.  What of my family?  I have always assumed my father would not come around to the idea of marrying below my race, to marying a Wild Elf.  Of course Ella is no more Wild Elf then I am.  It has been many years now, I know he had hopes that I would get this 'nonesense' out of my head. To once agian become a respectable Sun Elf, continue our family name and line.  To him I am sure any child I had that was not born of pure Sun Elven blood would not qualify for the family name.  But even if this is true, its his choice to make, not mine.  His mistake to make.  I should return the choice and responsibilities to where they belong.  Yes, Ella has made me realize it is long over due for my parents to be introduced to Ella and Mera.  Zain if he wishes to come.  So I told her she was right and we would send word to my parents and make allowances to visit them if they will have us.

This presented me with another thought that I have not considered in many years.  What do I introduce Ella as?  My wife, my partner, my companion and friend?  She is all of those things in fact if not title.  She is my balance, my love and often my binding to the present.  Without her I am afraid my attention to the now would dwindle as I focused on thoughts more timeless.  I know without reservation that I am these things to her as well.  And if that is true then why have we never made the pact of union official.  I speak not of a wedding, priest and papers of entitlement.  I speak of proclaiming our feelings aloud that they they have been spoken. Aloud that others, such as my parents, may hear what we know to be the truths in our hearts.

Yes, in short I plan to ask Ella to formalize what we both know to be true.  That we are completions to one another and that there are no others before us.  That time will not change these truths and the passing of life, death and cycle will not alter these feelings.  That we are two that live as one.  I do not
know what she will say when I ask her to ackowledge our union formally.  But I do have confidence that even if she says no at first, she will overcome her fears to embrace the truths of her heart and our life.  

I think she wishes for and deserves more than the traditional Sun Elven practices of marriage unionization.  I will research other traditions of propsal for union and find something I believe she would find more agreeable.

But for now I must write a draft of proposal for the enaction of renewable sources of harvestable wood. I believe I will send copies to each of the Lands of Mistone, save Ulgrid's.

~Aerimor Lightbringer

[Aerimor]

Much has happened in the past few months.  I asked Ella to marry me and she accepted.  I reaffirmed that nothing would change in reality it would just be a formalization of what we already knew to be true.  I think she was uneasy at commitment, but found the truth of my words in her heart.  I was preparing for the traditional ten year engagement but after only a handful of weeks Ella decided she wanted to be married now.  She has never been adept at waiting.  I consented; I think the waiting would have been strenuous on her.  We sent messages to our friends and guild mates.  I thought it improper to make such a proclamation and request on paper and thus with heavy heart did not send an invitation to my parents.  We traveled to the rebuilding site of Ov'dear with many guild mates, Mera and Verideth.  It was most unfortunate Miss Amanda was not able to attend.  Ella was pleased with those on hand and we commenced a short ceremony.  We spoke the words aloud that others would know without question the bond between us, the love and the union of partnership for this life.  It was all spontaneous; I was not even able to retrieve my vows from home.  I have about half of my ten page vows completed; instead I had to work on short notice and covered the most important parts.  It seems it sufficed, the guests were pleased and Ella knows the volumes in my heart.

After the socializing we each took separate routes back.  Ella and I were in no hurry and visited many of the sights of Voltrex.  There are even more waterfalls than I remember.  It was refreshing for the spirit to be reminded of the beauty of Voltrex, what energy lands tended and not used possess.  
Upon returning to Hempstead, I found more of the city rebuilt and most of the refugees returned to it.  I started making plans to finish the gathering of exotic supplies for Ov'dear that they may complete the project with as much beauty as they have started it with.  I have gathered diamonds, rubies, emeralds, adamantium, cobalt and titanium.  I have begun collecting the vast amount of mithtril that should complete their requests.  I will have it in a few years at most.  Things at this point were very bright indeed.  I was the happiest I can remember being.   While in the Forests of Voltrex with Ella we became friends with a Hawk.  Naalaaa as we named her took interests in our passing and followed us to camp one day.  She is a marvelous specimen and we welcomed her to join us.  She is young, curious and on her own.  After sharing our provision and company that night we awoke to find her still with us in the morning.  That is how it has been since, we awake from reverie each day and before two hours pass we catch sight of her nearby.  It would seem we have a young companion whose curiosity has bound her with us for now.  I welcome the companionship as always.  She brings back many fond memories of my times with Kalesh.

I was anxious to share all of this information and joy with my dearest friend and so I wrote a letter to Ms.  Amanda.  I told her I was married and I was sorry she was not able to attend on short notice.  That I had made a new friend to introduce her to.  And mostly that I was looking forward to her companionship on another adventure or quite day by a lake.  While in town to see to my duties with the Angels I checked the market postings and found a posting nearby.  Ms. Amanda had fallen to trollocs whilst I was away on my honey moon.  I have not yet received the details, but it appears she was traveling alone and was overcome.  The news hit me hard.  Truth is, I still have not worked through my emotions of this loss.  Ella is my completion, my love but with that aside Ms Amanda was my closest friend.  I understand and I know all things die, and thus they return to cycle to be born again into this world.  Layonora has suffered only a temporary loss as her spirit will once again find its way to Her again.  My loss however is more sustaining.  In my mind I rejoice in the memories of our friendship.  Certainly my life was vastly improved for knowing her.  My heart however has wept for some weeks now.  I realize that this is due to a weakness of my own, but I am not ashamed of my feelings of loss.  With time I will find a way to turn her death into something positive, I will create light where shadows now linger.  But for the last few weeks I focused on the simplest, the primal and the most basic of cleansing.  I began my cleansing with blood.
 
 I as well as Ms Amanda had know for much time that the Trollocs in the Great Forest were growing too dangerous numbers and would certainly become strenuous on the balance of the area.  We had been making small forays against their numbers, culling their numbers and reinforcing their boundaries.  I believe she was making one of these missions.   And she was either presented with more numbers than she had expected or they had set a cunning trap for her.  I will never know.  I of course wish I had been able to influence the events, but I was happily forging a new life together with Ella.  I could never have known what was transpiring at the same time.  I have just recently returned from a long trek through the Great Forest.  I spent a fast and furious month striking at their numbers, breaking up their concentrations and forcing their boundaries back.  

I fought them through day and night whenever and wherever I found them near the borders of their lands.  When the borders had been cleared I struck into their lands to some degree and pushed their boundaries back.  I left hundreds of them dead.  There was no solace conferred with their deaths.  There was only clarity and focus whilst in battle.  But each time the last foe has been dispatched muddled thoughts and loss returned.  I considered often about striking to their heart, to wound them to the point where they would be unable to recover as a species.  But I knew and I know that is wrong, it is against what I believe in, that I would carry the wounds through this life and possibly beyond.  They after all, were only living as they know how.  I imagine they were quite pleased with their victory over Ms Amanda, the mage who brought many of their deaths about.  It is not my place to break the cycles that are.  But the deaths I enacted upon them do and shall serve purpose.  It should take them many months to recover, to attempt to push their borders past what they once were.  They are in no danger as a species, thousands more live.  A lifetime of planning can always be undone in a moment of chaos.
 
You will be missed Ms Amanda, but you will be cherished for at least the length of my time in this incarnation.  If fortunes are kind, perhaps we will meet again.  

Until we meet again Amanda, may your spirit flourish and know only happiness.   It was an honor and grace to of had life enriched with you as a part of it.  May your return be joyous and elven.

With deep loss and keenest admiration,
~Aerimor Lightbringer

[Aerimor]

There has been a sense of awakening evil reported by Legodia and others.  It is time for me to once again go forth with purpose.  I am not well received by the council but this is a place where my skills may be of too much use to dismiss.  That aside, this is too potentially important to be idle.  I told Ella I leave for Degar and would send word when I have something to send.  

~Aerimor