(On inside cover, in charcoal) "puggys bok"

[Honora]

*The battered leather cover of the journal is opened, stroked by pale unlined fingers.  The hands rest on the inside cover for several quiet minutes, before they lift the vellum of the first page over.  They lay at the edges of the book, moving only to gently turn a page or touch a sentence.  For hours the only sound in the room is the whisper of pages turning.  Then, abruptly, the book is closed and shoved aside.  The hands rub the patina of the mahogany table restlessly, occasionally tapping the wood, and then draw out a letter sheet, ink and quill and begin to write.*

[Honora]

*Pale green, deeply lined hands slide the folded sheet of thick parchment from the journal.  The letter has been carefully placed after the last entry.  The page crackles like a tiny spark when opened, and is smoothed flat with rough fingers.  The hands lay at the edges of the missive, moving only to touch a sentence briefly.*

Mama.

It's time for me to go.  I have felt a pull for months, getting stronger every day, and I know I have to leave.  I know, I know, I'm your baby.  But Erilyn still needs you, Caighd needs you, and I think that you've taught me to be strong enough to not need you anymore.  Well, much.

I finally read your journal.  Even though you said we could, it always felt like something that I couldn't touch, like it was your essence or something.  I'm the last, because I know Geoffrey and Jesse and even big sis read it.  Now I know why they were so quiet afterward.  You're a great woman, Mama.  Mostly because you don't know it and never let it get to you the way others do.  You've never demanded, never thrown a fit.  It's not you.  But you are a hero because like you taught us, a mistake is not the end, it's the beginning, and you always let your mistakes teach you.  And you always cleaned up your messes, even if it took a while.

So that's what I'm going to do.  I have learned as much as you and Shioko and Corba can teach me.  It's time to go out there and figure out who and what I am going to be - and to do things that will make you proud.  And I can hear you right now, you're always proud of us, of Geoff for taking the Knight's path like Caighd did, and Jesse for being a defender of nature, and Aubrey for also taking a Knight's path (think we'll ever get Geoffrey and Aubrey in the same room without a debate?  Me either!).  And me, for loving Shindy the way you do, and for taking a healing path even as I've learned to fight like you.

But it's not enough anymore.  See, I can see your smile, the way your head dips to the left and your smile curves up with it, and so I know it's okay.  But I had to write.  I don't know when you're going to be back although Cricket was here to let us know you were out adventuring (really, Mama?  What about your knee?  Caighd is beside himself with worry!!)  ((And he said you'd be sleeping with your ox if you didn't get home soon!))  But anyway, here it is, I'm going now before this feeling gets any stronger.

Wish me luck, when you read this.  I'll write and visit but I'm not sure where my path will take me yet.  I hope someday to be accepted into an elven temple, underwater, if I can figure out how to breathe.  Well, you did it before, so there is hope.

I'm dragging this out.  Okay, goodbye, I love you Mama, be good and let that knee heal darn it!

~Genna

*As the letter is folded precisely over and tucked back into the journal, a soft soprano voice, husky as if hinting at tears, speaks.  "Good luck, Genni. Shindy hold you...good luck."

[Honora]

So much to catch up on. Heinrich died. Ninya wrote to let me know almost a month ago. I could not contact Genna, although I did get a note from one of my little "birdies" in Port Hempstead that she's doing fine there, so it was just Aubrey, Jesse, and myself at the funeral. Geoff was taking some vows or something - Rofie stuff. But he did send a kind note and his sympathy along with a generous amount of True for the family.
 
 Alfend, his wife Charie, and thier boys Thomas, Edward and Richard have moved to a farmhouse in the Port Hempstead farms near Richy and Rosa. Lilah works in Port Hempstead as a waitress now, with her new husband Shaimes (and I'm so glad she found love again after Edrich died, she was so young to be a widow), and Richy's younger boy Merrik works on the farms for his dad and uncle. Everyone seems happy - but me most of all because Ninya, Teddy, and Kam have moved to Erilyn! It was fantastic to rent a sloop, stock up, and sail them myself all the way to Alindor. Erilyn is a hopping Kingdom now with so much to offer and Ninya is a master seamstress now. She's already set up shop and has Kam in a Lucindite school, in just the last two weeks! And now I can see family when I am with the King. My leige's wife is a lovely woman who is always needing court clothes. I will pass Ninya's name along.
 
 So, all my babies are grown and out of the house, I am able to take some leisure now that Erilyn is strong, I have a wonderful husband who still likes to go out and see the world. How strange to have a second wind at this age.
 
 Caighd likes my hair. I was hoping he would - it's all silvery grey now, down to my chest. He's always walking up behind me now and stroking it. Although I keep it in a ponytail because it's a lot to deal with.
 
 Everything feels so together right now. I think I'll just take my handsome husband and go for a sail around the coast.
 
 *in blotchy print*
 
 Cricket too!

[Honora]

*set on the pillow on the left side of a neatly made bed*
 
 Caighd.
 
 I am called back to Erilyn. I'm not sure for how long.  
 
 I feel Mother Ocean calling.  I don't know if I will return or not.
 
 If I do not then of course the house and all the things in it are yours. But you knew that.
 
 I have loved every minute of our time together in case I never get to say that to you again. You are my gold and the greatest treasure of my life.
 
 If I don't come back please let the children know how proud I am of each one of them. Their mama loves them.
 
 Hope this isn't necessary.
 
 Love,
 
 
 Puggy

[Honora]

*On Jenra 3rd, 1488, Honora Tannerson Brendimeere died in her sleep, at home. She is survived by her husband, Caighd, who becomes the executor for her estate, and four children; Aubrey, Genna, Jesse, and Geoffrey Tannerson.*