Elohanna Dawnstar - The Journey Continues

[Anamnesis]

After making sure that there is no one scrying on her, and that protections are in place she carefully takes out her journal and begins to write.

I feel it is important to write down my thoughts now, more than ever, incase something happens to me. What started as an investigation to find those who harmed the people of Port Hempstead has now turned into a struggle to recover what they have taken from me. I fell into their trap. Whether I was their intended target or someone else, it feels now as if I am.

I have not seen Kaelan in awhile and after scribing the notes we were able to find, of the stone, and my discussion with Connor. I know I need the help of them both now, as well as Lareth, Omer, and Chakar. Though I have to rely on Jilsephonie's aid to reach them.

It pains me that I can not walk into the city but it would hurt even worse if I hurt any of them because of my presence.

Jil had though that maybe a gate spell would help us recover what they took from us but doing so is very risky, and once there, there is no guarantee that I would find all of what they took from me, and that is the problem. I am connected, my blood, my hair are part of me, the emotions bound to the Amulet, Sister Vlassk gave me, and the ring that Tashe gave me, mean the world to me. I should not hold so tightly to physical things but there are deep emotions tied to each. Love, compassion, forgiveness, memories that I cherish so much.

They are aware I know they have them. I should have not have tried to scry on my own. I was foolish to attempt scrying on my own, I was so intent to find answers, I did not even realize my protections had fallen, had Andrew not found me when he did, I hate to think what could have happened.

I have never had such a horrible headache or felt so drained since the Cults plague.

I have found that I can no longer rely on myself to find answers, but that I must rely on my friends to help me. I need their help, if they are willing. I can not do this alone. If Connor is right, then I may only have one shot at recovering what they took, and I will need the aid of everyone I can trust. He also thinks that I may be magically compromised and that I may not be able to find out until our plans are in place and he can check me to be sure. My concern is in making the plans. I have to be cautious and keep my thoughts guarded because they may lay a trap for us otherwise.

I have left myself open for even the slightest tickling in my mind to indicate the intrusion, I discount nothing and though it may seem to some I am paranoid I must keep the protections about me, to make sure they can not use me.

Thank Aeridin that Raina is now recovering, knowing she is healing gives me some peace, and knowing that the healers of the Aid Station are all gaining in their knowledge is comforting.

I have asked Jilsephonie to speak to Omer, to convey to him we need his help since I am unable to go into the city, and I know I can trust her. I hope he will agree. He has never let me down, and that this is so important. I do not think he will.

Thank you My Healing Light for giving me such great friends and companions.

Your Daughter of Light Always.
~Elly

[Anamnesis]

A simple non detection spells lays easily at her lips recent days in an effort to protect herself and others from her thoughts being discovered by those scrying on her. Still there are thoughts that need to be written down to keep them all from cluttering her mind and getting lost in time.

[Anamnesis]

I feel as if I am tumbling, falling down a deep chasm, into a void, where all that surrounds me is darkness. My feet searching for ground beneath me, but all they find is the air, and the further I fall, the colder I feel. As if the happiness, the light is slowly fading away. As if the darkness is searching for me and tugging me its way. The more I try to hold onto what matters the most, what I hold dear. I feel it slipping away.
 
 I thought that maybe if I could find the things that matter most, that I would be satisfied, but now I am not even sure they are what I am searching for. I am not even sure they are so important. Things...given to me by people I hold dear, but they are things, symbols of our what we mean to each other, but the truth be told, they are not what I hold dear. It is the warmth of their embrace, the unconditional love. Their willingness to sacrifice for a friend. For me..
 
 They willingly came to my aid because I asked them, knowing full well the risk involved, simply because I asked them. So what is it I am really searching for? I pray to Aeridin for his wisdom, and I pray for him to give me something, because I question myself...
 
 So many questions when the only one that should be asked... is where did I leave my faith?

[Anamnesis]

The sound of Amati warmed her heart, broke through the emotions she had felt, and had been holding in, and all she could do was lay her head in Andrew's lap while he played for her, just played what was in his heart for her. He had finally completed Amati, and it was through no help of her own. But now her beloved had found the his heart song again, and she was sure that his playing pleased his Muse as much as it did her.

Still it did not chase away the pain she felt, that she had not be able to console him as she alone believed as his wife she was meant to, she had not been able to ease that pain.  She felt in that moment despite his own words, the pain he must have felt before Amati was completed, that she just was not enough to be what he needed the most, and the tears fell down her cheeks and into the leg of his pants in a steady stream.

The music of Amati was his heart lay out for her, a gift unlike any other she had heard him play before, and she was so very thankful that he had chosen not to give such a gift to Razariem, and that of everyone, he played for her Amati before anyone else had a chance to hear such beautiful music. Andrew had chosen her to hear and while she could not hear as he did, she appreciated his gift with all her heart.

She could understand now when he told her that the wood, the strings, the sounds were bathed in all that he was. She understood how he poured his love of his music and his Muse into this one delicate and temperamental part of him and how much it meant to him to share this part of himself with her, as she poured her heart and love for easing suffering into her each person she helped. She understood how much he wanted her to understand how important this meant to him.

How was it she had not truly understood her beloveds passion for Amati, until this moment, and now she was in tears. He sang for her when he wouldn't sing for anyone else, but she had not been able to truly grasp his passion, and make it her own. She had tried to convince him that even without Amati he was perfect to her and he had to find someone who understood him, and she was not that person. How could she not have understood before.


No matter how hard she tried to stop the tears, they continued to fall. A compilation of pain and love and warmth he had always been there for her through every moment she ever needed him. He played Amati for her. He played his heart for her. There could be no greater gift and she felt she did not deserve such but he did. He waited to play for her alone.

There were simply no words she could say to convey in this moment how much his gift to her meant.  And there were simply no end to her tears, as he played for her.  They had been through so much together and over the years, and it was if part of her heart that had been closed up without her knowing it had opened up to him and the only gift she could think to give him were her tears of understanding.