Sa'kura- to dream of dragons

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The last few days in hlint have been strange to say the least.
The other day a strange creature appeared in hlint with a staff shaped like an eyeball. It seemed to be searching for something. Rhynn really seemed to bug it as it kept lobbing fireballs at her. It didnt say a single word. Rain, yllaron and I follwed it for awhile as it traveled south towards Krandor. IT seemed to be looking for something in particular. What i have no idea. It looked into water, felt the walls examined the ground. It was very strange. I would have followed it further, but my frend Cym sent me a bird saying he needed me urgently.
I traveled to Dregar nad met up with him near Saudria. The Temple of Azatta. Cym had told me that he awas being sent on a quest by his church to prove his own devotion by redeeming a vampire lord who had corrupted a city after Azatta didnt grant his prayer to protect his people from the drow. The undead were powerful indeed. I almost fell several times but got lucky and fought my way thru. We discovered some sort of tomb that was surrounded by a self feeding mystical barrier. It took us a while to figure out what to do. In the meantime, we discovered a priestess who recanted, and was brought back into the fold of Azatta by Cym. She told us the story of the Drow Priest who fell. We aslo fought and destroyed the Vampire Lord who was behind the changes in the city. He it was who turned the priest and priestess and bound them here. That was a tough battle..i could barely touch him, even with my silvered weapons. Jin Lun Lee and I both fell. Cym was finally able ot defeat it while it was distracted by Jin and I. After that we freed the drow priest who deecided to ask forgiveness and was redeemed by Cym  and went to Azatta. We barely escaped the city as it collapsed in on itself. The ruins are gone forever now.

I unfortunately paid a high price for my friend Cym...the soulmother met me once more. I have only 1 strand left now..I must be more mindful of the future. Especially if i wish to be a mother. Kyle and Ferrit let me hold and play with Cole their son. I was so happy and he is such a delightful child. I walked with him around the pond in Hlint for a bit, and covered him when it started to rain. Perhaps Barion and I will be lucky enough to have a child of our own someday.

Barion...where are you. I have missed you so much. Rain says you have been crafting like mad of late. I just wish i could see you again. You are always gone when I am home. I miss you so much.

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It has been a day of bittersweet memories.
I finally came across the love of my life...I was on Dregar headin gto find some aloe again when I came upon a small band of adventurers. My Barion, Rain and Sonya Darsus and Serissa. I was finally reunited with Barion. We saw each otehr and ours eyes filled with tears of joy..we held each oher close forgetting the world around us.
It was then after our brief moments of joy, that I noticed Rain was sitting on the ground in silence, Sonya was crying nad Serissa was strangely silent. It was then that Rain said the words...Elgon's dead. I stood still and then fell down as the words formed in my mind. As I realized their meaning...
Elgon was a good friend. He had a noble soul and I will miss him dearly. I only hope Jenna will be alright..they wer quite fond of each other.

In the aftermath of stopping Rain from running headlong into the giant camp by himself looking for vengeance, barion had to dunk his head into corax lake a few times, we all had a good cry remembering elgon. Barion and I stepped away from the others for a bit to finally talk abit. I missed him so much.
At the end of the day..Barion ad I decided to give the Darsus' a hand...They have kids who need room to play, so we now have new neighbors. Right across the path from our house in Halft Lake. Barion decided to help them with a loan to purchase the house. They were so close, they just needed a little help and we were glad to do it.  

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Ugh....The only words I can describe how I feel. I think I ate some bad meat the other day. I have been sick for the last couple of days and I miss the sun. You would swear I had drank Dalan under the table the way I look.

Oh well...I am just gonna have to grin and bear it. Back to Moraken's. Gotta get these potions made.

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Its been almost a month now and I am feeling anxious. I've been practicing my enchanting as much as I can. Its pretty much the only way to improve my gemcrafting skills at this point. I need to start being able to enchant my own rings.

On the plus side, whatever seemed to have made me feel ill earlier this month seems to have passed. Now I can at least play in the sun again. I suppose I should fetch some sage. I ate up alot of the pie and roast we had stored away. I was a eating like a pig! I swear, I need to go for long walk to keep from not being able to wear my armor. I swear its getting tighter on me every minute.

At least while I was cooped up I was able to practice my elven...Barion just wouldn't stop talking to me in it...forcing me to learn. Its so much more fun to learn with him around. He kept my spirits up when I was sick.

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Oh gods...what am I gonna do? Kyle just cornered me in the kitchens at the surge. He thinks I might be pregnant....Nope...Im not...

It explains alot though...the sickness..the hunger..the exhaustion...No..Ive jst been working to hard...

Still...It would make Barion so happy, and I have always thought about a having a child...raising a family...

Im not ready for this...Im too reckless...to clumsy...what if I drop it...or forget it somewhere...what if...

Nope..not yet

I will go see the healer tomorrow and prove Kyle wrong. Im just going through a phase. Thats it.

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Well...I went to the healer after a couple of days of avoiding it. Kyle was right.

I'm pregnant.

I am terrified. I am not ready for this, but then again, who ever is.

After visiting the healer I was stunned. I just had to wander around for a bit. Squished some bugs which made me feel better. I ended up at the freelancers tavern after a day or two. I was glad to see it open once more. Anna was tending bar and a few friends were there also. I just needed a beer.
I started crying into my beer and trembling. I feel bad for ruining the good time everyone was having. I just couldn't stop shaking. I blurted out I was pregnant and everyone just stopped. Anna promptly took my beer away and gave me juice. I wasn't happy about that, but she was probably right.
Dalan and Daniel escorted me home to tell Barion the news. Dalan was so sweet..he lured a few orcs my way so I could relax abit by doing a bit of bashing.

I know everything will be fine. I have always wanted a family..I am just not really ready for this.

I am so scared.

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Another friend has fallen...Mercas.

I will miss him dearly. He was a fun companion, reckless and wild, intelligent and witty. He was a good friend to all.

I helped Dora fetch his body from the fire opal cave near corax lake. We then removed him to his home at Haft Lake.

Poor Dora...I feel so bad for her, she witnessed his fall and could do nothing. Now her home that she shared with Elgon and Mercas is silent.

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Oh the last few days have been swirling by me in a haze of confusion. Of old fears and the uncertainty of my future.

Of old fears...Sabrissia Ice has returned. Barion's old love..the one he searched for for years but was lost. The one who held his heart before me. She came to Hlint looking for Barion. She found him. He found her. They talked and I listened. I had heard she was rash and impulsive. That when she met me I may not survive the encounter. She spoke of being trapped on the planes, that some demon had made prisoner of her nad she was tortured for 10 long years. I never realized it had been that long here, but then, time on the planes flows differently there. She was scarred and wounded. Happy to see her old love Barion again, and then saddened when she realized he was hers no more. She told us how she was returning from some ritual, and eager to be home decided to cut across the planes where she was ensnared. I left them alone for a time...I needed to think and they needed time to sort things out. Varka met me outside of Hlint where I was standing just staring at the stars. He said if I loved Barion I would fight for him. I will if it comes to it. He is the father of my child and my heart, nothing can keep us apart.

Of the future...Sonya had her children. All 3 of them. They are the most adorable things, so small, so beautiful. The Darsus' are truly blessed. I can only hope I am ready when the time comes. I am truly terrified. I watched as Barion carried Sonya thru the door as he took her to her pallet. I tried to follow but I couldnt move. My feet were frozen in place. Then..I dont know..I just went blank. I remember feeling stark fear and terror and then..nothing. I recovered from my stupor with Barion holding me close and Daniel watching over us from a nearby tree. I guess I lost it. With everything that had happened earlier that day and now being there when Sonya had her children i guess I was overwhelmed. Barion said I was babbling about pie. We then went back to the house nad saw the newborns. So soon after their birth, Sonya let me hold one. It was so small, so delicate, like a flowers first bloom. She was so beautiful. I'm still scared, but I think Im gonna like being a mommy. Sonya then asked if Ferrit, Serriss and I would be godmothers to the children, and Rain asked Kyle and Barion if they would be the godfathers. We all said yes.

The future, the past, its all come together again. I know Barion loves me, I also know Sabrissia's return is going to bring back old emotions he thought were gone. I do know life is about to get pretty complicated.

*the writing here looks messy as if something just startled sa'kura

The baby..it..it kicked me!

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Ugh...Im getting so heavy these days. The baby is going to be as strong as Barion if these kicks are any clue! I think Barion is hoping for a boy. The way i've been describing how the baby feels you can see it in his eyes. A boy to carry on the Firesteed name, someone he can train with the sword. I would be happy with either. We strill havent really talked about names for the baby either. I think if its a girl..Abigail...if its a boy..I like Terence or Frederick. But I think we should see what the baby is..and what we think he would respond to. names are important after all. I jsut hope they have my hair. Pink hair is cute.

On another note..Cray has been back again. I am glad she is finally back in Hlint. I missed hanging out with her. We've been travelling around alot together. She great at picking apples, although she wont admit it.
I feel bad for her..she's so lonely right now. Alantha's leaving her for someone else hit her hard. In time she will move on, but for elves, memories are long and healing will take time. Hopefully she will find someone new.

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Oh my..I'm a mother. I can't believe it..I'm a mother.

A beautiful baby girl...I think we will name her Abigail. Barion would like that I think. I will ask him first before it becomes official. I wish he had been there..on second thought no, maybe just outside the door.

Tyr, Malor and Maple helped me home when i went into labor. That mean lady form Hlint who thinks she's all that came too. tyr chased her off after she became rude and not very nice.

I must say..I blame Ozy for this. He made me laugh so hard today when he was telling us a story that I lost it went into labor. Granted it was because he was teasing miss princess because she was being all puffed up and ordering everyone around.

Oh well...time to rest with my littel angel, my littel orc basher..my darling daughter. And she has my hair.

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Abigail is growing so quickly. Its hard to believe she only joined us a few weeks back. She eats almost as much as Barion I think. She is a hit with almost everyone. Nyyana keeps trying to sneak away with her, Dalan never hought he could have so much fun with a baby, Cray just adores her and Rhynn...she seems to think she will fall to the same fate as Abigail whom she was named after.
Rhynn can be so sweet and nice at one moment and completely callous and hurtful the next. Spider chow. That hurt..I was basically floored by her and then was so mad. I was speechless..I couldn't think of anything to say after her little tirade. Abi isn't Abigail, her name has no prophetic meaning. She will be her own woman when she grows up.

I met Plenarious finally. That druid in vale wanted me to ask him about the betrayel of katia. It was a sad story about the desire of power and the consequences of it consuming ones soul. I also met Yardislan and Daeron Stormcloud. Daeron nearly exploded when he found out i had a key to the tower in Hampshire. He said Mith had no right to give it and would be removed from the roster if he ever returns. Not that that would bother him much I think, Mith was ever doing his own thing anyway. I returned the key to Daeron when he asked me, and that was the end of that. He wasnt mad at me, thank the gods, but Mith really irritated him. Big surprise there.
Barion had told me to seek out Yardislan, as did a few others, when I discovered the legends of the spellswords. He said there wasn't much known about them, that if the Great Library didn't have much information then he wasn't sure where I might find any. He did make mention of the Lucindites. Apparently there is a society known as the Runic Blade that is affiliated with the Lucindite church, but that it always a loose organization with few members. He didn't even know if any still exosted. He also mentioned another name..Conner something..I think. But he had not been seen in many years. At least I now I have more information to go and research. I think I will take a trip to Spellguard...That seems my best bet right now.

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Abi is sure a handfull these days. She is crawling all over the place and getting into everything. Barion has started to lock up some of his chests just so she doesnt get into anything that could hurt her. But she is daddy's little girl. He has taken her around while he gathers his materials a few times. And she is always so happy when he is around. She falls asleep so easily in his arms.

I am also so happy for Barion. He has finally become a memeber of the Order of the Wyrm. HE is going to be a knight soon. I just worry about the chaos within the church. How will it affect him, and how will it affect our future.

I have also recently met Yardislan again. I again asked about spellswords, nad this time he mentioned one Iradril Arken..something. Although he hasnt been seen in a long while, he recommended I send him a letter. I just hope the messenger birds can find him.
I have travelled to Spellguard and inquired about a group known as the 'Runic Blade'. Supposedly they are a group of spellswords associated with the Lucindite's. Unfortunately, the temple clerics and the libraries I was granted access too had little information about Spellswords and even less about the Runic Blade. Im beginning to wonder if that organization even exists. At least I found some information in the great library awhile ago attesting to some of the abilities of spellswords; the ability to enchant their own weapons with fire and ice. At least it gives me something to try and figure out..something to strive for.

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*a small breeze is felt within teh Firesteed household*
  Barion and little Abigail are fast asleep together on the bed....
  Abigails eyes sflutter open for a second and she looks up at the spiritand smiles recognizing her mother standing above her..she smiles and tries to reach up to her...
  Sakuras spirit reaches out to the little handnad her fingers pass right thru..."I will always be there watching over you my darling" she whispers softly into the still air.
  She bends down t kiss the baby and Barion one last time on the foreheadsof her familyand disappears into the void.
  Abigail smiles and falls asleepi again into daddies arms.