Dreams of a Sun Elf - Elohanna Min A'Litae

[Anamnesis]

Chapter Two

I have taken leave temporarily from everyone, Lex’or, the Angel’s, even Melanna and saught refuge within the walls of the Temple of Aeridin in North Point. I saught to be closer and to seek answers to some questions of my faith, to things that are troubling lately about my self and the road that I am traveling down. To seek to truly know in my heart if my motivations for helping others are to help them, or to help myself. What it feels inside does not sit right with me. As it almost feels as if in some ways I am taking pleasure, not from helping my friends but by the brutality. This disturbs me greatly because then I become no more of a barbarian, a murderer This is not who I seek to be. So it is time to seek to set my mind and heart back upon the path they were before I came to Hlint and to figure out truly where my heart lies.

I have sent a letter to Eghaas confessing to him of how I felt and hoped to hear from him. Sadly though, I have heard nothing from him. Perhaps the contents within the letter I sent him, startled even him as much as it had me to even have the courage to write it down on this simple piece of parchment. I have faith that should it be Aeridin’s will that he will reply or that I will have the chance to see him again soon. And that we can set things right.

I know that I have not been the best of followers, Aeridin, and I have allowed my heart to stray away from your ways and your teachings. I do wish to make right what I have done, if there is any possible way to do so. I just don’t know what has gotten into me lately to change me so much other than to know that within each of us there is the capacity to do evil. Perhaps to better understand that, which we fight, we must see that there is the potential within ourselves to do great evil, as much as there is to do great acts of goodness. To understand truly why we fight, we fight the battle within ourselves not to become that which we consider as evil, but to atleast understand what drives evil and to overcome it.

I am learning slowly I think, and better understanding on my own. I almost was tempted to lay down my bow but then I think that even though it has the capacity to do harm it also has the potential to keep safe those I hold dear. It is not the weapon that is the danger, it is the motivations of the heart behind it. Those true warriors like Melanna, Lillian, Kyle, Dalan, Daniel. To see those I hold dear possibly kept safe.

I am not a cleric of Aeridin, but I am still a preserver of life, of those lives I consider friends. I am not a judge, I am not a God worthy to chose whose life is worthy or not of preserving so I must make a choice. That choice means though that I stand by those I care for and protect them when the need arises. That choice means that also sometimes I will have to stand up against my friends when I see that they are wrong.

Aeridin please give me courage to do your will as you see it must be done. Please give me clarity to speak your will to those who rush into battle without first considering the consequences of their actions. To remain strong and make right what in my heart I know I have done wrong. Give me strength to stand before the undead and put their souls to rest.

[Anamnesis]

Chapter Three

He was just sitting there upon the steps of the temple to Aeridin, in the Ranger’s Vale and I know he heard my approach. Maybe not so much, as heard, as he felt, much as I feel him when he is near. I had so much to tell him and dared not to stray from why I was there. To stray would surely make things more difficult and painful between the both of us. There will always be a part of me who loves him deeply for his generous spirit, for the love he shares completely and without question to me. I had to tell him though. For him as well as for me. That we could no longer be together as we were.   Seeing him so sad tore at my heart unlike anything I had felt before, as if the sun would never shine again within. Aeridin truly shines within him and grants within him warmth when the rest of the world is covered in the blanket of clouds, and cold and evil.   In this the direst of times, when evil threatens to take hold, the love he possesses is like a beacon to the lost. Sadly I can not embrace the light and must turn away. Because I know to step foot upon the shore would be to certainly lose my way. To forget who I am completely. I have let go of enough of who I am, I can not let go of my freedom as well.   I told him how I felt, and I watched precious tears fall from his cheeks as I know I was surely breaking his heart. I know that in time he will come to understand and he will find love again. Even if it is not the same as what we share. Still the pain of having to tell him was greater than what I imagine and for awhile I imagine it will trouble me as much as it does him. When I try to sleep at night it is as if a blanket of evil and cold fills my heart with dreams of me losing him.   He walked away from the Ranger’s Vale and in so doing took the warmth of the sunshine with him. Whether or not I will ever see that warmth again I am not sure. Aeridin please keep him safe and bring into his life the love I can not. I have to do what is right within me. What is true to me, why is though that it does not feel right?  

[Anamnesis]

Chapter 4

 It is thought that through time, all wounds heal and people will change. They will move and they will live their lives. Still to lose someone close either serves to draw us more into our selves or makes us stronger. I could see the blackness, was beginning to consume Lex’or, and it felt almost as if he had gone into a state of mourning over my pushing away. I had to make the steps though to ensure that I would not lose myself and that of the dreams I hold dearest to my heart.   I had to, for the sake of our friendship to help him reclaim who he is meant to be. It seems that partially I have achieved both. And gained more than I expected. We are still good friends and close friends and we will always remain so. We will always be able to share with each other more than perhaps any others could. I will not give up what we have as friends no matter what. When there is such comfort between us that we feel we can fall asleep with the other safely and content. When I can open my heart and share my dreams with him and him bringing to me a sense of peace that he will help me. I know he means it.   He is teaching me as I am teaching him a bit more about each other as we slow down and learn more about who each other is…He is teaching me that I need not be afraid of the creatures, and I am coming to appreciate them even more than I once had. I used to venture to Lake Rillon on my own and would go invisible by the white stags, but now I do not fear them and they know I will not hurt them either. This gift of friendship that has been granted between us means the world to me and I will cherish these moments always.   It seems as though, there is more than just Lex’or that I am learning more about. Eghaas and I are also growing closer as friends and have spent time reclaiming what has been lost over time and distance. Aeridin has blessed our hearts with a friendship that will surely stand the test of time, and with the wisdom to see truths that others may not ever understand. Aeridin has granted me with the ability to help him how and whenever I can. I am not sure what will become of our new found friendship only that whatever happens we have both agreed to take it slow and not to rush each other. It could be that all that happens is we grow incredible close as friends, but then again. I know that I do not wish to hurt another as I have Lex’or, and Eghaas understands. I am grateful for that. He also understands that I did not wish to burden Lex’or with a commitment to me if another should enter his heart that he may fall madly for. I would be betraying him as a friend and the love that he deserves by binding his soul in such a way.  Then there is Omer, and I am unsure what to make of him. We have not recently been able to spend as much time together as we used to and I know it makes him sad too. So I am trying to make up for it. I wish there were more of me, sometimes. But then I am glad there is only one. I can truly get in enough trouble all on my own, but it is much more fun to have Omer with me. I promise that soon I shall take off for awhile and reclaim much needed time between us as friends. I do love him dearly and he keeps me feeling young and smiling. I never wish to lose the youth that laughter instills into our hearts nor Omer as my cherished friend.   Aeridin grant me wisdom to keep my wits about me and to guide me ultimately into the steps you will me to go. Do not let me have a day go by that would not be pleasing to you in what I do. Thank you for all your blessings each and every day. For my friends who I can help and look after and for their hearts to help me when I need it most. Please keep watch over those I hold dear as I know you will. I hope where they are the sunshine fills their lives always, and peace fills their souls. For friends of friends lost, Mercas and Sakura and for the many others who have touched our lives with their love and generosity. I pray we never forget any of them.   Your will be done Elohanna Min A’Litae

[Anamnesis]

Chapter One

It had been along while since I had seen Lex’or and his letter did not sit well with me. The tone led me to believe he thought I was avoiding him. Finally when he received my reply that I wished to meet him, it took awhile before a reply was heard back. It is not my intention to avoid any of my friends but I have been on my own for far to long that I have grown accustomed to coming and going without the need to speak to others about my whereabouts so much.

As I value my friendships though perhaps I have been a bit shortsided and thoughtless to not at least tell someone where I am. I had met him by the fire in Hlint and had the chance to speak with him and Zergon a bit. After awhile Sonya joined us and as we had decided to head back to Dregar for a bit. Lex’or went ahead of us.

Sonya and I had not intended it but it had been long in coming. The need for us to talk as I could tell something was bothering her deeply. Many things are on her mind and I admit I will not write them here and betray her confidence but I will be her friend regardless what road she travels. Her and I have seemed to become closer as friends and it feels liberating to both of us to speak some things that trouble us. I hope that we can again get together and talk.

As we was, on our way to Dregar though and again met up with Lex to spend some time with the children. I found myself unexpectedly called away. I think this frustrated Lex as much as it did me as there are a lot of things we need to clear up.

Later that evening though I found Lex still at the house, and Sonya was either asleep or away with the children as it seemed very quiet. When I met him though the expression on his face could not have been any more clear. I could see in his eyes something was truly bothering him. He thought I had been avoiding him. Which is so not the case. I treasure his friendship and I always will.

It seems as though my sudden reappearance without a word or letter in so long was what had bothered him. Not knowing where I was, whether I was alright. To me I am a grown girl…err..elf and I haven’t nor should I have to answer to anyone for where I am going or been. Although he mentioned the point that my friends may like to know where I am in case something should happen. I had to admit he was right and I was very inconsiderate. I shall try in the future to be more attentive to my friends concerns of my whereabouts.

As the evening progressed though I admit I found myself opening more to him. I find myself able to share with him many things. I can’t seem to explain it but I do trust him, despite some reservations. I believe his heart is in the right place, where I am concerned. He has been incredibly generous to me in both heart and help. His friendship is immeasurable.  I still feel as though he wishes to change my mind though. But in some ways I think he would be happy just to see me settle down a bit and open my heart to someone even if it is not him. Instead of running from it. At least that is what he thinks I am doing.
 
There are things I share with him, there are ways I open up to him that I can not do for any others. There is comfort found in him that I trust enough to embrace and allow him to hold me. Yet at every turn I push it away. Is it truly fear that keeps me away from embracing anyone even Eghaas who I have grown a fondness for. Is it fear that has kept me from seeking out Melanna and keeping her close? I thought, I hoped I was ready to open my heart for love but I am unsure I am.

Chapter Two

After Lex’or and I parted ways. I did find Omer not far away. Actually he found me. He was lurking in the shadows much as Avar has a habit of doing. Curious how the Shadow walkers have a habit of doing that. And even though I told Avar he did not startle me. The truth is… he does. I never now when he could be around, and I find him very fascinating and mysterious. He seems to have the same way about him of making me consider him in a different light the same way he finds my shadow “interesting”. In any case… My thoughts are scattering again. And I will have to devote more to the shadow runner again soon. Perhaps next we meet it will be on some grand escapade to seek out new and wonderous places.

Omer was very sneaky coming up and finding me. Lurking in the shadows of a nearby tree. I nearly jumped out of my skin! Once we settled down a bit I invited him to come with me to the Lellion arms, as I had heard there was to be a fortune teller there and I was very interested in the prospect of possibly learning a few things about myself.  Before we left though. Omer had given me a gift. A book, an interesting weapon actually. It will be a while before I can use it but it will be useful. Perhaps in my quest to help the slaves of Karthy. I have locked the book away in a safe place much as I have the parosol I found not long ago.

Omer and finally continued our way to Lellion arms though racing the entire way. He is always so much fun to be with and never tries to change me but to keep me as I am. We met up with a few people though while we were at Lellion Arms. Kali, Acacae and Triba. As well as Mr. Underroot. It was an interesting evening to say the least and I found myself contributing to the cause of the Two towers. A very charitable cause to build a home for those less fortunate in the desert along a trade route. There is very little monetary value to gain if any from some a venture but the satisfaction of providing shelter for the needy is invaluable. To know that someone is looking out for them, would surely garnish much support. Even Omer contributed to the cause. I was so surprised and proud. He truly does have a generous heart and has been such a dear friend.

Chapter Three

As the night progressed further and Kali joined back in the crowds after her reading, drinks were given out, it seems someone had offered to treat the house to drinks. What a generous soul. I don’t know what truly possessed me except something was troubling me lately about a lot of things and so I approached Miss Kali and asked her if I could by chance have a reading of the cards. She took her time to consider and finally agreed, as Lyle was most kind to let me go ahead of him. I am not sure if he got his reading done. I hope he did.

As I sat down in the chair in the room though just her and I, she asked me to close my eyes and place my hand upon the deck, and to clear my mind of everything, and as if I was meditating it took very little time to do what came natural.

After what seemed like a long time she asked me to take my hand and away and open my eyes. So I did. And then watched as she placed 3 cards down on the table in front of us, and explained a bit more of what each meant.

Before she started, she explained how life is made of many paths, many sinews of thought , feeling and expression, interwoven together. The first card a reflection of what has already come to pass. It is your recent past or distant.”

As she turned over the first card it revealed and described its meaning and orientation, it was an image of a man, a picture that resembles Karem, Standing tall and proud, in a deep purple cloak, with a gold crown upon his head. At first I thought this was probably a good sign. Something positive, maybe a reference to my father or Eli. When she described to me its actually meaning though it did relate possibly to many men that I know in my life. “The King,” she called it, and it was upside down in its orientation to me. Explaining this meant  it was “Ill dignified or reversed.” I did not understand at first. Ill didn’t sound pleasant to me. Or at all something I would like.

“It represents loss, or dislike of authority, it can refer to immaturity or indecision.” How could her cards know me so well. She further elaborated that it also represents weakness, manipulative friends or colleagues.”

Could it be that those I trust around me are not being entirely truthful with me? And if that is the case? How do I know who to trust?

She also went on to say that in my past I had suffered loss, or a dislike for authority. I have suffered loss. I have lost my parents, my mentor. I have not seen Melanna in many months. I have seen Melanna’s dislike for authority. I, myself do not care much for Broegar being in Prantzis and the rules he has set down.

How much more truth could there be in the cards? I would soon find out as she turned over the second one though. The second card resembling a bright shiny orb in the sky over the top of a grassy plains that look like Rilara. It was the Sun Card. I thought this one too look promising as it reminded me of the sun I long to see. But its orientation was upside down too. And I was almost reluctant to know what it could mean.

“Broken engagements and contracts, sometimes Relationship difficulties, Vanity, hypersensitivity, misjudgement. All these forms and varying forms of them causing delayed happiness. It relates to your past, likely because of manipulation and vulnerability you show in trusting people.”

I thought of recent conversations with Lex’or and he too told me of my fears. It was as if the cards were confirming what he had spoken to me. I thought of how true it was. I was stunned that they knew me so well but I tried to push down the feelings inside at the confusion and hurt at those I trust could possibly be manipulating me. This had me troubled the most.

Kali tried to offer some reassurance, “Luckily, we do not remain in the present forever Hanna.” She carefully flipped the third and final card. I don’t know if she could see it or not but at this point I was nervous. What else could happen?

The final card though was an interesting one. The Image was that of a gold plated weight scale, drawn over a map of Layonara. This card was rightside up. Perhaps a positive sign? I wondered and then she explained its meaning as well. “The Judgement of the world, It represents Changes and improvements. Satisfactory outcome to a specific matter or period of life. A good time for movement in your life.” Of course she continued to say it would mean that I would have to make a choice, and that in doing so it would mean changes for the better. Of course life altering choices never come easy. Always there is a sacrifice to be made. It is not about trusting someone to make the decision for me. But to trust myself to know it is the right choice.

“You will need to be careful of those that would manipulate you. Careful of relationship woes you face in your present , and then you will make a choice for the better, and at least be a step closer to achieving your dream.”
 
Chapter Four


I didn’t know what I was going to do after hearing her reading or what to think so I went on a long walk. I found myself trying to find a companion that I knew would not betray me and walked upon the path that led me to Lake Rillon. I felt like crying and when next I looked up I noticed the faint flickering of a light from a fire across the way. When I approached the campers. I found Erk and Eghaas sitting by the fire.

I had not expected either of them. I hadn’t expected to see anyone and in the mood I was in. I almost turned and walked away to find the stag and reflect upon the reading in solitude. When I approached though the Eghaas saw me, he chanced to speak first. A compliment I hardly heard through all the thoughts presently drifting through my mind.

Then it hit me. Eghaas was speaking to me… And he had met someone at the Leilon arms that I knew? There are lots of people who know me but what would make this so special. Then her name, hit me like a ton a bricks, and I realized just how much I missed her. What he said next hit me right to my core. And I couldn’t hold back my own tears. “She doesn’t want to see you sad if she moves on from the great cycle.”

Her, Omer and I used to be so close and yet it seems as though we have grown so far apart in such a short amount of time. The more I thought of her. The more I couldn’t hold back my tears. Afraid she would be alone when the soul mother claimed her for the final time. Why is it that Eghaas should get to see her more than I yet I am her best friend? I can not believe that I am jealous but I am, as I wish I could have been him seeing her. I love her so much. Erks heart means well, as does Eghaas but why is it that I can not find any comfort to help stop the pain I feel inside. It is as if I am losing my parents all over again and now I don’t even know who to trust.

How can anyone begin to understand how it feels to lose your best friend and lose the ability to trust those you count as friends all at the same time. How can I begin to explain how can I expect anyone else too. As time wore on Erk took me to a special place near the Lake but some place I had never been before. It is so incredibly beautiful and the journey to get there dangerous but we were able to pass unnoticed.

This is very much a place untouched because the path easily goes unnoticed. I wish to bring Melanna here and share it with her. Share with her how much I care for her and wish to instill in her faith that even through everything she has been through that she does not have to hide from me. She does not have to hide from love or the music. She needs to embrace and let go. She needs to let the music into her life and live again. She has a heart of gold that if she would give in, would bring comfort to so many. Erk is perhaps right. That it is not by the words we speak as much as through the actions that we reach the heart in most profound ways.

I have plans and dreams. Perhaps should someone find this journal they will pick up where I leave off. The Twin Towers is just the beginning. That it could be more than just a haven for the poor in their travels but it could be as a refuge for freed slaves from Karthy and around the world. A sanctuary to give life to new beginnings. A purpose to strive for. That even if Twin Towers is unable to work. That I may be able to buy a home, and build it as a grand estate to house those I am able to set free from their bondage. To educate them in ways that make them able to live life again on their own, and watch as they do more than serve a masters petty whims, but to live again and flourish. These are but a few of my dreams. Perhaps they are lofty but I do not believe they are unattainable nor impossible. If the cause it just and the timing right. There is always a way to see it come full circle. It will take time though and Aeridin’s divine guidance to see it through.

[Anamnesis]

Chapter Five  

Eghaas actions are curious and I am not sure what to make of him. I am unsure what to make of myself sometimes. I know in my heart I could not codemn one man for the actions of his kin, but does he? For the actions of the past and other drow? I, met with Zergon with Eghaas with me. And as I spoke to them of the scroll I had tried to scribe. The way Eghaas seemed nervous, looking at me almost as if he didn’t know me. As if even my knowing the spell to animate dead, I was someone he didn’t know. Knowledge to me is important, as learning all I can even about those dark arcane spells gives me knowledge of my enemies, to hopefully protect against such spells. It is in my spell book but I dare not even touch it.   Much like the stone in Haven. I could hold it within my hands but the temptation to delve into such evil spells goes against my heart. Against everything I believe. Something about this situation troubled me though. Is there something that Eghaas is holding back from me? Something he isn’t tell me? I must talk to him and resolve to find answers to my questions. Because I know the more time we spend together, the closer we become. I can not form a true bond though with these concerns and fears that are in my heart. I could not give myself truly if there are fears in my heart, that there are truths unspoken between us for how our hearts truly feel. I need to know the man, elf, and I need to know him truly.   When we walked away from Zergon, I ran until I came to the north side of Hlint and found myself sitting down, upset that there seemed to be so much I felt I didn’t know about Eghaas. I wanted to tell him so much of how I felt but all I could do was bury my head against my knees. I didn’t even care that the raven nearby seemed to take to attacking me. There is so much I want to share with him. So much that needs to be expressed. The directions our lives may be following and things I have heard that I must confront him. I asked him if he trusted me and he said he does. I believe him but still there are reservations that there is more I am not hearing.  

Chapter 6

As time has passed I was able to finally get together with Lex’or and Omer, and express to them my desire to buy a house, its purpose not for me personally but as a sanctuary for freed slaves to come and feel safe and have a chance to learn. A Halfway house. I know I can not free all the slaves but if I can help even a handful to learn life of freedom and give them the chance to provide for themselves and perhaps even have a family of their own. To help them to become self sustaining and independent. To see the pride on their faces as they find in themselves that they are special and are able to do so much more. I will offer them the choice though. I will not force them.   The reactions of Lex’or and Omer seemed most positive although there are still things to consider. It is a cause I believe and they agree is worth working for, and perhaps soon I can not only earn the money to completely repay Lillian but also to buy the house. I wish to buy it away from Karthy though as though I think it would only tempt them to make their way back into that life again. I saw the same devotion to do just that within the heart of the slave that Lyle’s family had. I must admit I was floored a bit by the fact they had. It seems though that the slave had been in Lyle’s family for a very long time though. Devoted to his grandfather. So as I can not fault Zergon for the ways of the drow, I can not find fault with Lyle for those of his family either. Lyle has a generous heart and I don’t believe that he would ever be capable of treating someone in such a way.  

Chapter 7  

I can’t explain it, I truly can’t but the friendship between Lex’or and I seems to grow even more as each day passes. I find myself opening up to him, trusting him and surprising myself by how much I do. I wonder though if I were to seek out more with Eghaas would either of them understand the friendship that we share. Much like my friendship and partnership with Omer? Omer has told me of plans he has and extended an invitation to me to be apart of that. Although it would put me closer to Melanna and him as well. I believe it would be an awesome opportunity. It would also give me the chance to give something back to Rain and Sonya. I am very tempted to say yes, and at the same time still speak to Rain about buying the house in Krandor from the guild. I need to speak with him soon. I have hardly and before he too believes me to be avoiding him. I should let him know I am not.and I will soon.  

Elohanna Min A’Litae.
(Daughter of the True Light)

[Anamnesis]

So much has happened recently that I feel compelled to take a moment and try to recall the events as best as I can.

Firstly, I had not realized the support I would receive toward the cause to free slaves of their bondage in Karthy. There are a lot of people who do not agree with Slavery. More so than I first thought. Yet why there has not been a movement sooner in order to bring an end to it I can only say is because of fear. Because the trade is so huge, that it seems as though there is no way to end it. It can be quite overwhelming to think about it when an entire civilization seemingly accepts it and a city is devoted to it as its primary way of life, as well as many other unseemly practices. It is overwhelming to say the least, but not if you realize that as one person you can effect change, you just have to have the courage to take things smaller steps at a time and not expect things to change overnight.

The first step to find a house, I had hoped that I could possible talk Rain into selling me the house he has in Karthy but unfortunately he had already had plans to use this house as a rental home. At first it seemed as though this would be taking me a step back until he offered a temporary solution and a beginning. The use of three of the rooms until a more permanent house could be found to relocated too. So now I am in the process of finding Bunk beds, and dividers, and chest to furnish the rooms with. It would not due to have a home without a place to lay your head. Although one could also lay their head under the stars with their arms as support. And even though I have many times done so. This is not the way I wish to start. I wish to provide shelter, clothing, food, and a completely fresh start.

In exchange for these three rooms. Rain has asked that I be the rental agent for the property and maintain the records for the Guild. I could only say that it is the will of the Divine to see that this happen because so much is falling into place and rather quickly. I really am quite stunned at the progress this is taking. And that even Melanna, is willing to help as well. I am also very proud at the Angel’s as a whole and the outpouring of my friends to try to help as much as they can.

Secondly, Lex’or has confused me beyond belief in his actions. He is right I don’t understand him. When all my ideals that I hold onto in my heart say one thing. He would be the complete opposite. I don’t think that is something I can let go of without losing myself. He is a grown man though and he will make his decisions. That will not keep me from being his friend but friends are all it can be. I am sorry that I have confused his dear sister over this. She has prayed so much that we would find happiness. I have found happiness in discovering my dreams. I just can not find that happiness within the arms of Lex’or. It is not where my heart resides as I had once believed. I pray still that he finds what his heart seeks and a truer love than I could be.

Now I guess in order to go forward one must go back sometimes. Sometimes though it is simply easier to close a chapter and let go of the past than to dwell in it and forget to live for the future. I have a long life ahead of me full of possibilities. There are going to be lots of choices to make within my lifetime and a challenged to test my will not to give into my passions. As Eghaas and Melanna as witnesses. I will not fail in this challenge. I can not fail for them as much as for myself. A test of true devotion and love. A test to see if we can weather through any storm. From now until the Fourteenth day of the Fourth month of the year Fourteen hundred and twelve. Melanna holds the signed scroll, signed by myself, Eghaas and her, to bear witness. I have vowed and I will not break my word.

May Aeridin guide our hearts
Elohanna Min A’Litae

[Anamnesis]

Kross Swift

 It started off like a day like no other, a new presence in the town of Hlint to help appeared before me most unexpectedly. He was wounded and most kind. His name is Kross. As we made our introductions, I also offered to heal him even though he had not asked. I know Aeridin would be proud. Kross seems to have a gentleness about him, not at all like the arrogance about him that some I have met seem to portray.
  In return he was most kind to ask if I required anything of him. My reply to his query as he called me Elly, sounded that of a sweet soul, "You can stay safe." To this his simply replied, "I will try my best." As he smiled there seemed something more genuine about him that I would like to get to know and so easily drawn into conversation with him.
 Later we met again in Hlint and he asked of me to identify the ring called the Designer, that I had seen many of and did not even need to take a second look to know what it was. Further elaborating that it was said to help crafters to better craft. He was most appreciative and asked me also where I had received my hood. Of course I explained I had received it from Kit, and advised him that sometimes it was hard to get her to talk.
  It wasn’t long after we parted ways. But I still make mention of him because he was a very nice gentlemen I would hope to meet again some day and hope to know as a friend as well.
  --

The Queens Goodbye

[/b]  As I approached the outskirts of Castle Blackford for the queens announcement, I was lost in thought. It seemed to be a common occurrence of late and I hadn’t even noticed the presence of others there as I set to start fishing before hand.
  Within the confines of my mind or what I thought was my mind though I heard the voice ring out, "Hanna!" His voice most enthusiastic. Why must he be so cheerful, at my presence now of all times?
  And my own answer not nearly as cheerful as I normally felt. I could not begin to discern why, so I apologized for my wandering mind.
  He asked how I was doing and I don’t know but after what he had told me in Morakens before I avoided his question of How I was and said hello to the others I noticed also there around the lake. Confusion weighing heavy on my mind.
  Trying to make light conversation and poke a bit at Hawklen who was there as well, I spoke up in gest. "You have learned to warn people about the Malar haven't you Hawk?"
  His reply came as no, "ah did. You jus dinnae listen." He was right and my attempt to lighten my own mood again failed. As soon Lex’or chimed in his own feelings. I tried though inspite of it to reassuring Hawklen though I let him know I didn’t hold it against him anyway. My luck with the fish though seemed to be lacking as my heart didn’t seem to be quite into anything. Even trying to catch Zergon to talk about the room for rent in Krandor. And soon I made way away from the crowd.
  I didn’t mean to ignore anyone its just I felt if I needed to be alone. So why was I hear at the queens speech. A queeen I didn’t even truly know. I suppose Aeridin had put it upon my heart to be there and so I found a quiet place to look over the events.
  There seemed to be many faces I recognized and a lot that I had yet to meet. I tried though to keep to myself. Fate has a way to determine though if we are meant to be alone or not. You would think I was able to decide what was best for me or not but as fate would have its own plans for me. What I wanted was not what was meant to be.
  Melanna soon made her way nearby. I could never stay so depressed when Melanna was near. My sister and best friend despite all my flaws and as she greeted me with a smile. I could not help but appreciate her all the more in this moment and smiled back. Neither of us sure what the queen would have to say and whether Eghaas would be there.
  Her thoughts seemed to echo my own, if he would be joining us. Eghaas was normally around when least expected though, which is what I like most about him. He comes and goes much as I do. I know he has his own life away from me and he knows I have my own even though we don’t talk about it much, when we are together, there is just something between us that draws us closer together. The thought of him brightened my mood a bit as Melanna and I talked more.
  After awhile I felt a bit nervous standing outside the walls with the crowd knowing the last time I had been here was not so pleasant an experience. So I cast a sight to open my eyes more to those around me and kept an eye out for suspicious people or the dark wizard I had seen before.
  I couldn’t help but laugh though as a few others seemed to take up my paranoia around the crowd. I had not meant to cause them to be nervous but still it is better to be safe than sorry.
  And then there he was, he had found us through the crowd and I could not help but feel a bit happy as I recognized his voice speaking even in a whisper to Melanna. He seemed most quiet though as if he had his own thoughts on his mind so I didn’t press it and turned my attention back to the castle.
  Soon Highstar Belinmeric came out and stood on the podium as a magician wove a spell around her to amplify her voice throughout the grounds.
  "Greetings to all." She began. "It is good to see that even in the last moments, the Queen still has many who wish to see her and pay their respects. Perhaps simple curiosity or a sense of duty, but here we all are to give her a last goodbye."
  The whispers of speculation carried around the crowd much like gossip generally does only know those present would know for sure what was happening to their beloved queen as she was meant to be the center focus of the evening and would be speaking.
  The Highstar continued, "I would like to quell all rumors as to what has happened in the last few months, years, and even within the last few hours. However, this is not the day that I was given the place to speak before you all, instead it is the day of our Queen."
  She scanned the crowds for a long moment, seemingly admiring the huge amount of people and taking in everyone, a sense of pride clear in her expression. Perhaps a hint of confusion as today seemed to be a fine day for confusion to be part of everything. But today was also meant to be a day of answers.
  "Today, In Autum Twilight, The Dead Eye day. I give you, Queen Allurial." The enthusiastic cheers went up around the crowd as those who knew and loved her celebrated her presence.
  Despite all the horrible rumors flying around, she was looking physically fine, her expression perhaps a bit sad but also happiness.
  "Greetings to all.. people of this wonderful place we call home.. I am glad that despite my request to make this a small event, I can trust on my closest to know the best for me."
  She smiled a bit and composes herself as laughter flies through the crowds. "There are so many things that I would like to say to you all, so many things that were left undone, but unfortunately, and perhaps not so, time is the only truth that marks our passing. And in that truth, we come and go like the ebb and flow of the Weave. We are part of a bigger scheme that we all enter and exit.
  Today, it is my time to move from this place and unto another. Fear not. This passing is one that I welcome. My absence from the throne in the last few months was not one that was endured through some ill disease as many think. There was no affliction that put me to bed through some wicked attack of a dark force." She shakes her head slightly. "In the blessings of the Lady of Spells, boons were granted to me. Gifts that allowed my presence to be one that is normally unseen. And now that she calls, the many years that she had granted me in this role finally caught up to me. My life, slowly returning to the Weave that made it thus, and finally after many months of attempting to reassure a peaceful future for those who are left behind, her call I cannot resist longer. People of Mistone, we have been safe from the wars for many years. Sinthar's touch was only felt lightly thanks to the work we all put to make this continent such a bright place. And in that peace we should all acknowledge what we would lose if we forget it."
  So let us not do so. Remember the times before the clouds, remember how each day we fought death, by living. And let us keep this thought with us. You all know the struggles that come ahead, both personal and of the greater world. Do not think of them as a foreign and isolated matter. Think of them as the wave that starts in a distant ocean, and comes to strike in great sizes once it reaches the shore. Our shore. Fight this wave. As it now not only comes from elsewhere, but from within as well."
  I couldn’t help but look at the ground, saddened and unsure. The queens own face looked a bit sad as she continued. "The sisterhood fades. Foul play coming from the one who felt betrayed now has finally crippled the ancient bond we had. The Lady of the Land now has passed. The others find refuge in their own devices. And then of course there is Selian, who no longer fights for the same principles we did before. Thus it is clear to me, that it is a time for new faces to come and bring hope to the people. To bring unity and prosperity in the times to come. I hope that amongst these here gathered, those faces are or can be found. For leaders grow not of crowns, jewelry or title. But they grow of heart, steadfastness and a drive to make a difference. Be that and I shall leave happily."
  She took a breath and eyed the crowd again. "Let my words not cloud your day, for if this is my day, it is your day as well. Let us today remember of all the things that brought us here." Her words flowed over my heart with a truth I needed to hear and appreciated even more the presence of my friends around me. I took the hands of Melanna and Eghaas to convey to them hopefully just how much I welcomed them in my life and how dear to me they are at the moment I felt the need to show them that and it was least I could do.
  As the speech continued, I could feel Melanna, eyes for a brief moment. And Eghaas as well. As if there were understanding and an unspoken connection between the three of us. In that moment. I knew in that moment they would always be there for me come what may and I had true faith in our friendship.
  "And in that path, all the marks we've left. *she smiles brightly now* Marks that I have seen many of. And proudly say that I have experienced with you, many of the wonders that those with a will to do, can manage." The queen continued. "The castle will stand, with time someone will come to replace what remains in my passing. To what degree will that be? I am not sure. But I ask all of you to help that person fight for the same principles you all helped me fight for. And not only the one that will come after me, but those of all the other lands that fight with the same hearts we have. That fight for liberty. For peace. For love of the land and the people around it. Against oppression and recklessness. Most important however, is simply to not forget to smile and laugh. As it is the medicine that cures all ills, particularly those that normal medicine cannot. I wish all a happy life."
  The air surrounding us smelled fresher, different, unique and sweet. A breeze blowing, a small beam of light began to form behind the queen. Coming from the heavens above. And as if a prayer had been answered as if all the confusion within her lived for this moment alone. And I couldn’t help but sigh happily at the beautiful sight. The sky, the sun, the warmth overwhelming for a sun elf who lived for the sun to see what had for such a long time been taken for granted until it was gone. And then the tears began to fall. Knowing in her heart the moment was all to brief and would not last for very long. Melanna gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
  As the queen was whisked away, from us I couldn’t help but lay back in the grass and gaze up at the heavens and the blue skies that seemed to beam down upon us all with the gold rays of sunlight. Sitting up though I felt the need more than ever to just be alone, so casting invisibility upon my self I left for Hlint, far away from everyone. Noticing someone by the fire, I tried to wipe away the tears that I could feel running down them. It was Erik and his compliment of my outfit brought an all to brief smile upon my face. But he also seemed to have his mind other places so we did not talk too much. Perhaps it was for the best.

--

For Love and Friendship

 She had noticed him sitting upon a bench with another and remembered to herself all that happened when he had overheard her speaking with Eghaas. She did not wish to eavesdrop on his own conversation with another and took off to do the only thing she could think of. To complete her crafting, a renewed interest in alchemy she had begun to enjoy and a way for her to help her friends by making healing potions.
  That is where they found her. Lex’or and Zergon with news she was not willing to hear. That she could not believe. It seems he had followed me lured by the sound of my voice speaking with Hawklen only moments before. I was afraid but also curious as to what he had to show me. Perhaps I should have remained curious it would have hurt less.
  His familiar voice rang out as I was about to start to make the potions although my mind at this point didn’t seem to be to far into it. "Dear hanna, I heard your voice back near the bank.. I am looking for you something I need to show you. I was hoping I would find you here."
  She looked down a troubled mind before him, anxiously awaiting what words would so concern her that he would want to find her, as she stacked her empty flasks upon the table.
  He could obviously see something was troubling me and as I rather not speak about it at the moment it was easier to brush away such questions and worry about the hear and now. Why would he be searching for me?
  Partially he figured he was the cause, but no not all of this could possibly be blamed exclusively on him. In truth the great evil that seemed to envelope the land with the darkness of the clouds truly bothered me. I…am sunelf and I longed so dearly to feel its warmth again as I did as a child. I longed deeply in my heart to feel its warmth as I had only days before at the queens ceremony. Yet it was gone again. The gods has for one brief moment in time situated me in such a way that I was there for a brief respite of the clouds, only to make me hunger for more but the realization that I may never see the sun again, in full, weighed heavily on my heart.
  Soon my mind turned back to Lex’or as his apology rang through my scattered mind and brought me back to the hear and now. Perhaps for the best but then I am not so sure as I listen to what he has to say. What has brought him to see me. Although I asked him for a brief moment to finish my potions before we continued much more into a serious discussion so that I could further devote my attention him.
  As Jako entered into the room, it seemed almost welcome to have a chance to focus back on my potions than to continue to converse, as my heart just didn’t seem to be into talking much but more reflecting on the most recent events and the potions before me.
  It seemed as though I was not meant to make the potions though as I soon realized that instead of greenstone, I had placed Malachite dust on the table. It didn’t matter anyway after Zergon soon joined us with the news that Lex’or had come to share. I was not prepared at all for the news, or the implications that came with it. I felt a weight on my heart I had never felt before as my heart was opening to the one who I felt they believed had threatened Zergon’s life and in turn threatened my beliefs in trusting myself.
  My heart told me that the letter could not be written by Eghaas, that he would never do such a thing regardless of the overwhelming evidence they seemed to be laying before me. I knew of all that Eghaas has told me and my heart continues to tell me to believe him but there was doubt and fear in my heart. I had doubted Eghaas once before and the disappointment on his voice tore at my heart like nothing I had ever felt before.
  I couldn’t listen to them continue this. I trusted deeply in Eghaas and I could not bear to think that he could possibly have done this. I tore out of the tower leaving behind all that was not already on me and ran as fast as I could away from them.
  Not even carrying where I landed I made my way to the overlook in Haven climbing the hill as best I could with the tears that seemed to sting at my own eyes. Could this be true? Could I be so wrong about someone I was starting to fall for? Could he be lying to me? I pleaded to Aeridin to tell me this was some nightmare I would wake up from soon and that my heart would know for certain who was lying to me and who was telling the truth.
  Gently wrapping my fingers around the strings of the harp I had recently purchased from Lyle, I tried desperately to make sense of what was happening. The music seemed to mimic my heart at the moment though. Sad and longing for answers.
  I tried to sniffle back her tears as I heard the footfalls of Lex’or approaching and speaking my name. "Hanna." I was not ready to speak to anyone, but as he kneeled. The look as sad and pained as it appeared my own heart was and I could see the concern in his own expression. Before I knew it, it came out. "He wouldn't do this Lex'or! I know he wouldn't!" And I couldn’t stop it as my face buried within the folds of my dress in my knees to cry.
  He wanted me to talk, but I didn’t know what else to say, I was pleading with him to trust my heart as much as I believed I trusted myself, yet it was as if within I was also fighting doubt and love and doubt was winning. How could this be happening? I tried to battle though against my doubt and battle for my faith in Eghaas.
  Lex’or tried to point out that there were so many things that proved his case against Eghaas. How could he ask me to trust to him when what he would ask of me was to betray my heart and trust in someone I cared for deeply. "No! Its not true...." I shook my head in defiance and a plea for him to believe me too.
  How could he sit here and ask me to believe him and in the same breathe and tell me he didn’t want to see me get hurt. Couldn’t he see he was hurting me? "I beg of you to speak with Kyle, hear from him what he told me."
  I was sunk as he asked me to have faith in him. Was that not what I was asking him to do for me. Have faith in me, in my heart. In those I deemed worthy to trust. I couldn’t help but pull away and pull into myself as if being asked to let of the safety and security of the one person who I thought I could trust. To let go of who I was.
  He swore to me he had never lied to me, and swore on the grave of his mother that he promised he would never lie. I believed him or at least I trusted him to tell me the truth. His version though, his perception of the truth. I could not simply turn my back on Eghaas without hearing from him his own thoughts, his own feelings. And what I hoped would be the truth. He has sworn to always be truthful with me. I had to believe in him still. But it made the pain inside no less easy to bear.
  As I listened to him, I shook my head as if trying to shake away a nightmare, sniffling back my own tears. Still she clung to hope that Eghaas would not be the one to threaten Zergon’s life.
  His next words hit like a knife, "it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want you to be misled or used." And my own whispered words I hoped would convince him to believe what she spoke as truth. "I just know he wouldn’t do it." Of course he had to counter my heart with his own doubts, "but what if he did Hanna? How long would you close your eyes, unless you believe that I am the one from your card. If so tell me and you will not have this trouble ever again."
  His look was of one that was trying to convince her he was willing to share anything with her if she just asked. All I could say was full of doubt and pain and uncertainty. "I don’t know anything right now, nothing makes sense." I know he wished to help, I could see it the tears in his own eyes, but how dare he be in pain? But the pain I could see was sincerity of a wish truly for me not to be hurt. Of wanting me to truly keep an open mind so that I was not hurt.
  Seeing that there was more that needed to be said, even through the tears in his own eyes and the want to try to settle this all. To get it all in the open, she spoke words even though she wished she had not. "Please Lex'or if there is more to be said. Say it!"
  His words felt like the knife had been turned in her and shoved through, "I have to admit Hanna that I have felt betrayed, and played for." I didn’t have to ask as he wouldn’t be telling me this if he didn’t feel it was me, but I asked for confirmation. "By who?"
  He looked up ashamed of admitting it, and then I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t believe what was left unsaid as I cried deeply into my knees. How could he believe I would betray him that I would hurt him intentionally?
  And then it settled over me like a raging river. The queen’s goodbye had cinched it. The differences between Melanna and Lex’or. They didn’t and never would like each other. And the same would probably hold true for Eghaas and him. He continued though as I cried and I prayed my elvish ears could block out everything but they heard him clearly enough even over my own tears.
  "Even at the goodbyes of the queen I saw you holding his hands and hers.. And my mind ran wild, knowing that they are friends, knowing she never approved of you and me." I whispered the words. "Trust me…" but he continued to lay out how he felt and I couldn’t stop him. "That she would do anything to make that known from her own mouth. But it doesn’t matter what I feel. Not when I see you like this."
  Finally she managed weekly through her tears, shaking her head in a daze. "They are my friends too." She cried deeply as he spoke to her. "And one of your friends hates me, but I don’t care, not anymore. When you left the tower crying Hanna, everything just disappeared." He quickly continued as I think he knew I had the urge to say something even though I couldn’t. "I don’t care how I feel, or if I have been played by them, or lied to by Eghaas, but I do care if you are being hurt. I just can’t fight it."
  He seemed to have a lot to say and there was nothing I could do to stop him. "And Hanna I feel it in here." He tapped hard against his heart. "He is not all that you think he is, it is no longer a question of what I want or what my heart hopes, because my heart and hopes are like the broken forest every time I see you like this."
  Through my sobs, I managed a weak whisper. "what d...do... want me.. t...do?" He simply said, what seemed simple to him but was asking me to cast doubt at my friends each time I looked into their eyes. "I want you to keep an open mind that he might not have said all the truth. I want you to have faith in the principals of our faith Hanna…You shall respect all live. By the tenant of our faith hanna, there is no excuses. We are the bearer of peace of the great circle, upheld to respect all life, to not refuse to help no one, drows, ogres, kobolds, gnolls, and all that you have told me, all that I have seen, the things that Zergon told me that he did not mention because he didn’t have time. Zergon told me that whenever he was in town, he would see Eghaas look at him and leave. You have to ask yourself, if Zergon was about to die, would Eghaas help him?"
  My reply, "I have faith.....he would."
  Still he kept pressing it as if he expected me to turn my back on my faith in Eghaas, "Look at it with what you have heard Hanna, logically and by the tennant of our faith. I have talked with Aleina Shiante a long time ago when I was having problems with my conscience due to my colors, and I don’t know why exactly our talk went onto my actions then about going with people that their intent were purely actions and fun. I mentioned to her what Eghaas had told me and she told me that If I spoke to every one from our faith, none would have the same answer from Eghaas."
  I felt dizzy with the everything I heard and yet he continued. "Now I agree this for you is all hear say, but I trust her as much as I trust you. I do not see eye to eye about it, about the fact that I should leave my friends to go without my help if they are only seeking the hunt. but I trust her sense of the faith. And there is the time in Hlint where a newcomer brought without realizing it a goblin into town."
  I lied down on my back feeling as if my heart was being crushed, the pain inside simply to let him have his say, to understand his point of view, to try to have faith in the way he saw things, and understand why he would tell all of this. Was he trying to hurt me as I had hurt him. No… He would never do that. I knew he wouldn’t but it didn’t make the pain go away at all.
  "Eghaas was the first up and instead of being the bearer of peace that our faith orders us, he was being rude and inconsiderate enough that If I had not stepped in and cut off Eghaas making him leave, the barbarian was about to rip him apart. When I came back to the benches, after having the barbarian agree to be more careful for the sake of the town people, Eghaas was mumbling about the fact that I had stepped in even though the barbarian had said that yes it was him who had brought the goblin in.. it was not with love and comprehension but with disdain that his voice spoke Hanna. Lastly when I confronted him on the bench of Hlint.. Warning him about hurting you and the fact that he tried to use the faith against me.. Yes I have spoken for my love for you and yes it was not in total accordance with my faith. And when he chuckled about Zergon and talking with Kyle saying it was only a caution, when the words Kyle told me that I told you where of hatred, There is too many things Hanna, just to many things to close your eyes. He chuckled Hanna! Laughed! While trying to justify himself!"
  She cried, and in between her tears she spoke a promise. "I ... will... talk to Kyle..." I don’t know if he heard me or not, or if even the words came out as he continued, "and yet, when I explained to him why I thought he lied to me, stating the chain of events, he just stayed there silent and after that he left. Now I truly hope you know and understand that I would NEVER lie to you."
  It seems we were not the only ones that were trying to take in the solitude of the overlook as others approached us, and I wished for once that they would go away as I only felt like crying. I think they saw my tears, I am not sure but they left as quietly as they approached.
  Lex’or again continued, "I wouldn’t have told you what I did, if I was going to lie to you."
  I rose and as I did ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. Still trying to make sense of everything. As he continued I had to stop and speak my own mind after having listened to so much. "I have never once lied to you Lex'or. Not once!" But I couldn’t help the tears that were falling.
  "I know. I was confused and my heart hoped for something that could not be." I heard him confirm he did. But I had to be sure he did.
  "Do you truly trust me?" I asked him again because I had to know. Never once had I lied to him, or deceived him. But at that moment I didn’t feel as if anyone truly trusted or heard me or wanted to listen. That those I considered friends never took me seriously or as more than a child. "Can you look me in the eyes and truly say you do?"
  He looked in my eyes deeply in her eyes. "I trust YOU Hanna."
  "Then you already know the answer to your question." She coughed and sniffles back her tears.
  As if anything could get worse, his next words twisted my heart that he still couldn’t fully understand how deep my friendship was for him. "I will follow the council of M'lady Ranéwin." And I looked at him and asked him what he meant. "I am unsure if I would be able to give you what I used to give you Hanna in the future, the gentle holdings, letting you sleep in my arms. I don’t know if I would be able to give that to you if my heart was to stop loving you."
  How can you just simply stop loving someone? Sure love can change it can grow or it can wither like a flower, but it is always still there. But he sounded as if he wished for his heart to stop loving me. As if he was pushing me away. Even though it hurt to say it, I knew he had to be true to himself. "Follow your heart Lex'or. Follow your heart where it may lead you." I desperately tried to fight back my tears and he reached my hand. "With all my heart Hanna, I am truly sorry to have hurt you with my confusion and.. . I am truly heartfelt sorry.
  It felt as if I was being crushed, I felt like running and hiding, or maybe I felt that after all the pain I had caused him that it was just deserved that the pain was something I deserved. "I... just... for someone to truly trust my heart."
  His words were sweet which made it all the more difficult to be mad at him. "Your heart is gold Hanna and true, confused…but its intentions are honorable."
  At this point I could scarcely take anymore. "I have to sort out the confusion." I thought truly I had already but no.. I was perhaps fooling myself the entire time.
  Sometimes I wonder why He talks so much, seems so sure of himself but I couldn’t help listening to him, even though I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I stayed and listened. He then shared some wisdom his father had told him. "If your heart is confused in what it believes is true, and that there is many that tells you that what you perceive to be true is not.. you should listen to your head and trust those who tries to help you. The heart is a powerful allie, but also, and true in my case, also your worst enemy as it over shadows reason."
  There was already enough doubt in my mind I didn’t not wish to here any more but I for some reason I felt the need to invite him to come with me while I finished up what had started all of this, my presence in the tower to create some healing potions, and maybe in doing so, try to heal my own heart for it seemed almost shattered within my chest.
  Not long after we finished at the tower though, we set off for more Aloe in high forest. I thought I would be fine as the subject had changed and things seemed to be a little more light hearted. I tried to push my own insecurities to the back of my mind. And just enjoy the moment with Lex’or as friends adventuring to collect some aloe.
  Everything was fine, as Lex’or was shrouded in sanctuary and I was invisible, I had tried to cast it also on him but he was to far ahead of me to effectively cast on. Then it happened…The treant attacked him and I had no choice but to attack in defense of Lex’or. I didn’t want to attack them. I just wanted to gather the Aloe. But it seemed so much like my life at the moment I was failing miserably and found myself crumbling and crying. I think Lex’or understood I was having a terrible time dealing with the world spinning unbearably out of control around me and held his arms open to embrace me. And the next moment holding me as I cried.
  I don’t know where he came from but his voice was at that moment welcomed as he spoke in our language. Beautifully as always. Eghaas had asked me what was wrong. There was so much wrong that I needed to talk to them both to finally have answers from both of them. To see them together, talking and know they would speak their minds in confidence that I was not judging them so we left the area of the treants and made our way to the island at Lake Palden.

--

Islands of Interpretation

 Asking them both to sit as I needed them both to hear what I had to say. The burden that lay at my feet to trust them or not lay in this single moment however brief in our lives it may seem meant an eternity of peace or anguish. I had to do something and having them both present however difficult it was for them because of ill feelings they both harbored toward one another. I was being drawn into this conflict, seemingly because they both wanted to protect me. I trusted them. But they did not trust me, and in a way it seemed that because of the conflict, they did not trust me to know my heart.
  "Eghaas, I trust you so much and I have told you this. But there are something that make no since to me." He invited me to go on, "You told me your concern with Zergon was he was afraid because of him being a traitor to his own kind it could put others... innocent other people in danger."
  To this he again confirmed, this was one of the reasons. And I wanted him to tell me everything while Lex’or was there. I wanted him to explain his side of events whether Lex’or would understand or not. "Please explain what happened between you and Kyle.
  "I told him… if I had a family I would be concerned as to the Drow that came across my family, That is what I recall what I said." Lex’or immediately jumped on this seeking further details, and I also asked as to the tone of the conversation he held with Kyle. "It was an expression. There was no threatening tone."
  Lex’or chimed in to argue, and I asked Lex’or if he was present at the time, or if he was only hearing from Kyle’s point of view. Trying to make my point as well, He wasn’t there but had no reason to mistrust Kyle. Neither did I but that wasn’t the point I was trying to make either.
  Eghaas, also spoke up to voice that Dalan was also present at the time. "and I don’t believe that he felt that I was out of line. If so I would wish that he would have told me."
  I expressed my interest though in speaking with them both, but that would have to be at a later time. Eghaas before us both admitted his apprehensions toward Zergon. I was not asking him to change his views but to explain why he felt as he did. Something struck me though, "At the time." How long ago may this have happened and could Eghaas’ views changed in that time.
  I listened to them talk back and forth, about the tennants of our faith before I had to interject myself, "Listen to me both of you. You both have your own interpretation of the dogma of Aeridin. It is safe to say no one will always agree.
  From Eghaas’ perspective... I see the concern based on history of events that have occurred even here in Minstone concerning the Drow. In both Hlint and Port Hampshire. That warrants a degree of caution.
  I also see he strongly believes in protecting those he cares about."
  Seeing the want in Lex’or’s eyes to say more, I quickly pressed on to express my own feelings. "Before you say a word Lex'or let me finish.
  From your perspective... You are trying to do the same to protect those you care about...You see that the way Eghaas has gone about things should be different... that perhaps to those he may have offended they deserve an apology."
  I am not completely sure however that Eghaas understood until further clarified that it was not just Kyle, but also Zergon that deserved one.
  And then the topic turned to the letter than had been received by Zergon, threatening his life. All my heart still believing in Eghaas, but the truth of his dislike for him still made him suspect.
  Still at this point the letter was ones word against another, there was no verifiable proof to say for a certainty the friend who I had come to trust would commit such an act.
  There were many things still needed to be cleared up and I was not willing to let either leave until it was settled. "There was also mention of you getting pretty angry at someone in Hlint who brought a goblin in by accident."
  Eghaas and Lex’or began to discuss back and forth about this incident and I saw that Eghaas had in this instance been more human than elven in his patience with those who made a mistake.
  "Eghaas...I have brought my fair share in by mistake trying to avoid confrontation with them to try to spare their life... It is not always intentional. If they follow me in though I will confront them... not everyone is as strong to do that though."
  "Aye. The person explained that he was not aware of the goblin coming through. So I let the matter rest."
  Speaking not in defense of his actions but as an Aeridinite, I felt almost as if I was scolding a child for a moment. Something I had never done before, maybe not scolding but explaining, "But I think we have to be very conscious of our tones as Aeridinites.
  Lex’or though as is his right continued to press the issue. Trying to preach the tennants of his faith as his own interpretation and I could see that as much as Eghaas may have been pressing the goblin situation, Lex’or was pressing Eghaas. This was best to stop before it turned into something I was unable to contain.
  So I asked Lex’or to hush, and interjected my own thoughts into this situation. Surprised by my own resolve and clarity of mind to bring my own thoughts to bear in the moment. I was surprised also what I had heard from both of them. They were certainly not acting like the Clerics of Aeridin, they claimed to be.
  "There is one thing you both need to accept, I make my own choices of who I am friends with...whether you choose to agree with me or not. Those are issues you have to internally over come or live with, and I accept you may not agree, but that doesn't change my heart at all. Aeridin has graced me with friends from many walks of life... who may not always agree who I may not always even get along with. But isn't that my choice?"
  I am not sure completely of the emotions behind Lex’or’s answer but he agreed. "aye...."
  As well as Eghaas, although Eghaas responded a bit more softly. Making me hope I had not hurt his feelings.
  "I remember that you will continue to be Zergon’s friend, and I accepted that." Eghaas further answered.
  "There are both things about you that you have to look into your hearts and be willing to change because of two reasons. You want to and because Aeridin puts it upon your heart to do so.
  Perhaps you two should both take time to reflect upon the Dogma and remember that is not always the letter of the dogma that you adhere to it is the spirit of it. It is your own hearts. And if you truly believe what you are saying and doing is walking the path he chooses you to walk, or if it just because of your own impatience and stubbornness."
  I couldn’t help but to sigh in frustration, "But if either of you expects me to choose between you. I will walk off this island right now."
  Eghaas answered her first. "I do not expect you to do anything Elohanna." And then Lex’or. "Hanna you make your own choices, and only you make them."
  I couldn’t take much more but I felt a need to continue my stance. "I chose to leave Saida to come here because I had nothing left there. I came here to forge my own path and I have stumbled along the way. Neither of you can say you have not also."
  "So the choice is between you two. Not me. I hope you two stay here and work this out... but I am tired. and thirsty and cold and wet and I am wanting to get some potions made."
  Eghaas spoke up softly again. I wasn’t sure what he had to say but he slowly stood and handed me a few things that he had collected, knowing I could use them for the potions. I just needed to get things off my mind and my chest and felt the need at this point to simply accept from them both their gift of friendship. Lex’or also did the same in kind and before I left them to sit on the island, to either go their separate ways or actually try to work this out. I wished the both well.
  I hope that they see neither of them are my enemies but this angst in my heart would not settle and I had finally had enough.
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[Anamnesis]

“May the Lord Protector cover his wings over her.”
Chapter One

I woke but it didn’t really feel as if I had. Lying near the fireplace of Rain’s house, a bitter cold seemed to be lingering in the air. I gathered my things and I made my way to the portal to leave. To make my way to Hlint and hopefully deliver a scroll to Zergon. I am not sure now how many times we have met but yet I still hold onto the scroll.

Seeing none familiar around Hlint, I made my way back towards Fort Llast. I could have teleported it would have been easier. But for some reason I continued to walk instead. There is something to be said for walking, although the bitter cold in the air bit a little deeper than normal. The feeling of something… I don’t know what it is. Ominous and mysterious lingered upon the air. One moment I swore I saw Hawklen and then the next moment he was gone. Was I simply imagining it?

The simple stroll and mysterious air around me made my footsteps go where they may, where fate my have me be. I saw Daniel carrying a body as I approached the Leilon arms and there was Eghaas with him. He was crying, I knew he was hurting. Someone close to him had fallen their final time. Was this what I was feeling?

A flash of red hair, and then the sound of his voice betraying my heart as he spoke her name, “Melanna.” Was all I heard. Staggering back from them both, I thought surely this must be some cruel joke. The next moment nothing seemed to make since and yet everything was so clear, as I watched him lay her down on the ground in front of the arms. Her red hair showing as her hood fell to reveal her face. I know I wanted to run from there so fast. To find Melanna but in my heart I knew I had. I forced myself forward, I knew it was truth but I had to see her to feel its truth. My sister was gone.

At first it felt as though I was dreaming. Please wake me up and let me be sitting before the fireplace at Rains again. But no it is real. The coldness bit even further as the desperation for her to wake up clinched at my heart. “Please wake up.”

“It was my fault” His voice was there but somehow it wasn’t, I felt only my own desperation for her to be alive. She was just sleeping. That is it. She is just sleeping. There voices seemed as if they were far away as I bowed my head against her and cried. Screaming at her in a horse whisper through desperate tears. “Wake up Melanna, Please!”

Again his voice sounded as if I was hearing from afar. “I thought to bring her to Velensk.. so that mine Lord Protector could take her soul unto him, what do you think , Miss Hanna? Be that wise?” I could not fully grasp why, what had happened. Why was she gone when only days before Omer and I had been having fun as we had years ago.

Still she refused to wake up. “Please don't you...” The tears flowed so heavily, “I love you so much....”

I think… I remember him asking about Fort Velenske, still it was that I wondered why. Everything seemed to be out of focus, “Please..” I reached out to lay my hand upon Daniels. “Let me come with you?”

As he picked up her fragile body he nodded “She should have all those that cared for her with her at this time.”

Eghaas’ gentle voice sounded “would you like me to accompany you El?” All I could do was nod but I hope he truly understood how in that moment I was so grateful for his presence in my life.

Slowly we made our way to the docks, Daniel carrying upon him her body gently but with an enormous amount of strength and burden of heart that this was all his fault. It seemed much busier at the docks than it should normally have been. Where did all these people come from?

Seeing Clarissa, momentarily shook me, another with bright red hair, could it be Melanna was not gone? Was I dreaming again? I tried to focus on Daniel. I heard her voice as the others seemed not to hear and I couldn’t help but raise my voice in desperation “She’s gone!”

I could only think of how My sister and best friend was gone from my life. Voices to many of them surrounding me. I couldn’t make them all out. I wanted to go. Too many questions, I didn’t want to answer. Too many people, pushing myself back up to my feet, unsure of when I came to my knees and making a move toward the captain. I wanted for the ship to gone for the quiet of the open seas to be surrounding us instead of the barrage of voices.

Someone I had never known before offered a handkerchief. To which I accepted, to wipe away the stream of tears that didn’t seem ready to end or as if they would end soon.

“El?” He brought me back to the present, my face displaying her confusion at the loss of her sister. He offered to her his arm, as I tried to sniffle back tears that I could not as they continued to flood from an unending sea of pain at the loss of my sister.

Again Daniel’s voice echoed through my ears, hearing his uncertainty. “What say you Miss Hanna, shall I bring her into the temple?” Hearing the uncertainty in his voice this was a decision to be made between friends. “Please Daniel of all the Gods who would grace her... Rofirien would. She was a protector.”

“I receive no guidance in mine prayers.” He nods and gathers Melanna into his arms again. I needed to follow, I needed to be there I couldn’t not walk away from our friendship any more than Melanna would ever have walked away from me.

As we stepped within the temple of Rofirien, I couldn’t help but gasp and stumble a bit as I saw for the first time the statue of the Great Dragon, and keeled in respect being within the sacred and holy temple. I felt led and compelled myself to ask even though I know I had no right to ask anything of a God, especially for the compassion and mercy to be shown. But I love Melanna dearly and my heart was led to ask despite itself. “Please see her soul safely. I know I have no right to ask. Please guide her spirit and protect her.”

I am not sure where he came from but his hand felt warm to the coldness that had overcome my heart and I began to cry again, as I felt the warmth of Omer’s hand holding my own. I don’t know how he found out but I was so glad for his presence here.

He didn’t look so well and I knew his own feelings were starting to echo within my own heart and mind. I buried my head into his shoulder crying. My ears comforted by the prayers of Daniel and his heart as a servant of Rofirien to do this for my best and closest friend.

Omer’s own pain echoed my own as I could feel him trembling with grief, the ice that seemed to pierce both our hearts that told us our dear friend was gone was not about to end anytime soon.

Before us Daniel kneeled, and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “He will grant her grace won't he Daniel?” I held my hand out to him, “Please say he will?” He seemed to look back at Melanna then back to me, unsure, “I do not know for certain Miss.  As I have said , I have done all I can for her.  Brother Lyons and Kuuk both prayed for her soul as well…”

Others who needed to know, I don’t know how in all the grief I had managed to but I knew Freldo and Lillian had to know. I didn’t think this clearly when my parents fell. I didn’t have any friends around to provide the warm embrace of love that I felt surrounding me now. I didn’t have this feeling of family then. “Freldo…Lillian…They have to know.”

“Aye, when the priests prepare the body, it will be available for visitation for a time… Let all her friends know.” His gaze was intent and serious as though he had never been more serious in all his life. “Also know this Miss Hanna, I would have loved her as best I could and been her husband for the time we both had left.” He stood and walked dejectedly toward the holy fountain.

Is it possible that he thought I blamed him for her death? I could not let him believe that it was his fault when I knew in my heart his truth to her was, even though not easy for her, nor what she wanted to hear. It was the truth. She would have hated him for lying to her.

I let go of Omer and moved to Daniel, “I do not blame you Daniel.” Gently hugging him, “I could not. We must tell her friends though.” I still don’t know where the strength came from in my heart. Perhaps a relief that Melanna was at peace. Our prayers seemed to echo each other’s thoughts. Our bond as friends clearly showing in our love for our beloved friend Melanna.

Omer did not look so well and Eghaas had remained more quiet than I had ever known from him. I loved them both dearly. Omer to me as a brother and our bond with Melanna and each other, a bond unlike any other I had ever know. But there was a bond that had been forming steadily between Myself, Eghaas and Melanna, as well.

Omer walked away though, he turned and left. I didn’t understand as I tried to follow to make sure he was alright. And for a moment I thought I could be there for him as he had been for me. I knew that also he needed time as I did to quiet my thoughts to sort through my feelings. I didn’t wish to hurt anyone but I needed the quiet and needed to let others know she was gone.

I admit I was a bit startled at Eghaas words but they comforted me too in that same moment. “May the Lord Protector cover his wings over her.”

I tried to turn my attention back to Omer, seeing him so unsteady. Taking this so hard. Someone had to be strong. I had to be for him. He was drawing away. I didn’t want for him to leave. I wanted to be there for him as much as he had been since we became friends. I wanted to be there, but I knew also that if I did I would fall again in that moment I needed to tell the others.

Walking towards the docks everyone seemed to fade as I used the tome to take me home. After all home to me was where my heart was.

[Anamnesis]

Where is your home, Anyway?
Chapter Two

From Velenske to the House in Fort Llast, from warmth of Omer’s room to the memories of a dear and treasured friend. I wanted to step into her room. To step back in time and find her asleep but as I looked at the door I realized that others must know of the fate that had befallen Melanna. I took the portal to Hlint, almost afraid of the faces I would meet but I continued on until I came to the hub of bustling activity, only the atmosphere was more solemn than normal.

It was almost as if a shroud of grief of those who knew surrounded this place. There a candle burnt, and shots of magic exploded that once glowing candle. And I felt eyes upon me. I didn’t know where to begin or where to start and so I felt it best to remain quiet but did not want to be alone. The faces I caught seemed to stare into me as they knew what it was like to lose someone they held dear. And perhaps that is what brought us all together here. We all sought friendship and family. None of us wanted to be alone truly so we sought companionship among each other.

I could not help the tears in my eyes though, and then a kind voice spoke up inviting me to join them. “M'lady....please join us here....such grief best not be borne alone” He said in our native tongue. A comfort to my ears. Sincerity melted my steps in their direction and before I could understand it I sat there by Aeryn.

I spoke softly to him, “She is my best friend.” He sat down beside me and I was caught a bit off guard, but I felt comfortable talking to him. I could feel from him a gentleness and genuine willingness to listen. It wasn’t long until Omer joined us. I am not sure how he found me but I am glad for them both at the moment.  

I know that Avar would not wish to be cruel but at the moment I didn’t want to explain who and why and was grateful there where others there who knew already and could tell those who didn’t know. I was trying not to cry again but I couldn’t help it.

It seemed that Omer came here the same reason I did, he didn’t wish to be alone either. I don’t wish to be alone. Avar’s condolences were welcome although it felt as if he was uncomfortable about the moment, I understood and was still greatful for his sentiments.

Krysthalien, who I had yet to learn his name, spoke quietly of understanding. Something about his voice, was calming and comforting and spoke to my heart.

“She may not have had a lot of friends, but those she knew. Loved her so much. Those who truly took the time to know her.”

Hawklen and Celgar’s comments heard but pushed down. Instead of fighting with them or worrying over there apparent lack of feeling I felt the need to lean on Omer’s shoulder and I knew among all present he would understand as did Krysthalien.  

Omer touched my hand and his words grabbed into my soul and dug out the truth in an instant. “Are you ok?” I spoke as softly the truth, “I feel so cold inside Omer.” And as I had felt it, he hugged me.

Gently Kyrsthalien’s soft comforting voice filtered through even quietly through the rest. “Your grief is testimony of true love that blessed her in life.... and continues to do so even now.”

Sometimes there are things you want to hear and others the rest of the world is pushed back and you hear only those things you truly need to. At this moment with all the voices around us, his voice stood out the most aside from Omer’s comforting embrace in the moment.

And then the questions came, that I was not prepared to answer. I wasn’t even completely certain of the how and why myself as it was all so sudden. For a moment the need was there to be around others to find comfort in the kindess of strangers but then the need to be alone again came I wanted to visit her room in Fort Llast. Standing from the bench in the middle of Hlint that had now become congested with far to much traffic it was time to go. I felt that as an absolute certainty. “I think I do want to go home.” And I have a feeling even Omer felt it was time.

Avar’s question though stopped me. “Where’s your home?” My answer frought with the emotion I felt at the moment. “Where my heart is right now. Thank you anyway, Avar.”

[Anamnesis]

The One Promise
Chapter Three

“You are welcome to stay at the house...as long as you need...” Omer invited as we walk out of Hlint together.

I could only once again thank him for such generosity and welcome so much his friendship as he understood I wished to be close to her. “Thank you so much Omer.”

“I'll sleep in the library...I insist you use the master bedroom as long as you like. I'd rather not have an empty house right now.” I was startled at first a bit reluctant but his invitation to stay and be close to her a comfort to my aching heart. My voice trembling as I spoke, “Thank...you.” He gently hugged me.

“I am not ready to let go of her. I can’t.” I spoke as I felt as if I was going to start to cry and never stop.” His own feelings spoke gently in my ears. “nor I Hanna nor I.” The hug was tighter as it felt we understood each other more clearly than ever through our shared pain. “We both loved her dearly...it will be hard.” My eyes blurred with the tears that flowed down my cheeks. He gently took my hand to lead me home. And all I could do was sniffle back the tears and nod.

I am not sure how long it had been since I had drank or ate anything but the overwhelming pain and nourishment made me feel dizzy. When we first walked into the house though I thought for a brief moment, perhaps it was Melanna as a feeling of hope came over me and I ran through the halls and opened her door hoping it to reveal her. I was mistaken though as it was only Omer and I.

His gently voice spoke to me ushering me into the library, “Here sit in the library and I’ll prepare the room.” It was then finally I stopped to take a moment to drink from my canteen realizing how parched I was and the grumbling of my stomach made me dig through my pack for a bit of fish to nibble on to settle my increasingly unsettled stomach.

Before I knew it Omer was back, “The bed has clean sheets and I prepared a bath with warm water should you wish a soak....” I tried not to cry but I failed so miserably and blurted out my thanks to Omer.

“She was gone so long only to return for such a short time.” He sighed, “I am sorry Elohanna.”

“I want to wake up.... I want this to be a bad dream Omer.” He tried to smile but it was weak with the pain he felt inside, and then he said something that I couldn’t help in that moment but find humerous. “you know? I was going to kiss her at the Toga party...invisible and run like hell...” To which my reply, “She would have slapped you.” And in agreement with me, “yea with that blade of hers...”

Then again my own thoughts returned to her friends, “Oh dear... Lillian and Freldo.” But Omer continued, “I was going to kiss you too just to make it fair....the challenge and all. I made this great Toga too....” And that is when I remembered I could not make it to the party.

Quickly the discussion turned back to Lillian and Freldo, “I was just with Freldo today , but I don’t know either well, I didn’t even know they were that tight with Melanna…Shows what I know.”

I carefully explained that they were with Melanna and I the day she fell in Thunderpeaks and that was when I had also not known until that day just how close they were. Although as long as I can remember knowing Melanna, the friendship between them was there and they had both helped me to acquire the majority of scrolls that I have come to possess.

“I promised I would not let…her die alone.” Omer’s voice full of confusion, “I don’t even know what happened. I didn’t let Lex’or tell me.” We both seemed to be lost over the situation and I made my way back to his room and back to the warm bath. I had broken my promise to her even though she did not know I had made it. I didn’t wish for her to die alone, but in this instance I had no control over the circumstances. It still does not make it any easier to know I have failed her, and that Lex’or was right. I should not make so many promises. And my head buried within my knees. Alone now, and the grief hitting so hard I fell asleep. I don’t know how or when or why but when I woke later. I was lying in the bed, blanket in the warmth of the covers. Maybe moved by Omer or perhaps enough since to move myself from the tub to the bed. I can not remember.

[Anamnesis]

Last Will & Testament of Melanna Jin'Daern
Chapter Four

Finally waking I rose from Omer’s bed and fresh scent of his smell upon his pillows, curious for a moment how I had come to be here. I remembered, she is gone. The feeling of wanting to be close to her again, filled my mind as I dressed and stepped into the Hallway. There for awhile I stood staring down her door, for a moment my heart was fooled into believing that when I opened the door I would be met with her bright red hair and peaceful face as she slept. But no as I pushed on the door. I was met with the sound of only my own heart beating and the squeak of the door as it settled.

Looking to the now empty futon, I stepped further into the room, glancing around its sparse furnishings, but this room was as close to Melanna as I felt at the moment. I found myself glancing through her Armoire, and smiling as I remembered some of the outfits she had worn, missing the beautiful blue dress she wore though. It must have been tucked away in her packs still at the temple in Velenkse.

Closing gently the doors my eyes fell upon her weapon rack. The last defense stood there, and a great iron sword she had not long ago wielded. And a parchment, to which I carefully picked up and unrolled and read. .

Afterwords I couldn’t help falling down unto her futon and crying. Grasping her pillows as if trying to hold unto her and I could smell her scent as if she was here with me. I sniffed so deeply of her scent on the pillows, “ I miss you so much Melanna. I wish you were here.” I cried into her pillows.

[Anamnesis]

To Find Lillian
Chapter Five

I stepped from the Portal as I entered into Prantz the familiar signs of rules met my eyes, and I came here not for adventure as the past times, or to see the children, the newest of which I knew should be sleeping and being held by his mother peacefully. I came to find Lillian.

I could of sent her a bird but I feared the news I had to deliver to her would best be delivered by a friend. I saw her run by but my voice was not quick enough. “Lillian?”

I continued to walk towards the Haft Lake District, “Think you lost her.” Came the familiar and friendly voice of Avar. To which I could only reply. “I think so.” Greeting him with an almost solemn hello.

He pointed Northwest, and bid me good evening. I don’t know why but I thought perhaps she would have headed to Treana’s home. Although why that passed through my mind, I am still not sure. But that is the direction I took to start to look.

Making my way through wealthy district, I come to stand before the door. My hands gently wrapping on the door hoping for an answer, but their was none. The house was most quiet in fact.

Turning to make my way back to Prantz I hoped that I might still gather some fortune and come across her. I stepped back through the gates admitting my entrance into the city occupied by Broegar’s men, and man that I knew Melanna disliked with all her heart, I let my thoughts flow into the memories of Melanna, almost being trampled by the crowds.

Making my way onto the sidewalk near the bank, I stopped and sat there upon the anvil, and when I looked up there she was, and I almost missed her again.

“Lillian!” I cried out over the voices filling the streets to hope she heard me. “I was hoping to find you, I hoped under better circumstances though.”

She seemed almost cheerful which made me feel sad at the news that I had to deliver to her. “You're lucky.  Don't come round here much except for business. What can I help ya with?”

It came out without a thought before the chance was gone, before I could not find my voice, it blurted out in a rush. “I thought you might wish to know....Melanna passed away.” I saw her blink and immediately wished I could take the words back but the truth was out as it needed to be. How could any of us begin to heal if we couldn’t face the truth?

My apology seemed almost hollow as it came out at having to be the one to deliver such news to her. “I am sorry Lillian I know you were her friend to.”
Her questions where hard to answer, questions I still had yet to completely make sense of myself. “When... how?” And my answers rushed out before I could not speak them. “A few days ago, she was in Storands…Daniel can tell you more I think…” I had yet to see Daniel since that day and hoped that he was doing alright. Her reply was stunned as the news settled over her, “Damn.”

I further explained, “He took her body to Fort Velenske to Rofirien’s temple if you may wish to visit her.” She found her voice again, “There a service for her?”

To that I could confirm for a certainty, “I promise you there will be and I will let you know when.” Her words warmed my heart with her concerns, “I hope you are alight. I know she was close to you.” She seemed most hesitant “Is it… Daniel’s fault?” The question startled me at first, never for a moment had I believed it his fault but it was a fair question. She wanted to know and I could see how she gripped her blade.

I replied gently as I thought about it and how he was already punishing himself enough over the loss of his sister and friend, “No I could not say it was...not truly anyway.”

She seemed to loosen her grip on the blade, “Lucky for him.”

I further commented of what I supposed had happened. “For months she has been seeking something and he was not willing to betray her heart with lies. I think that hurt her.”

Lillian wanted someone to blame, someone to hurt and I could understand her anger and pain, “I'm going to tear that crypt apart.” She had a right to unleash her anger and as an Aeridinite I could see no wrong with her putting the undead to rest as I chimed in, “Put to rest a few undead for me as well will you LIllian?” She answered, “I'll put em all to rest. And then the next statement knocked me back as the subject changed quickly from undead.

“Lyle hates me.” And as a few tears forced themselves out and I tried to hold them back I asked her, “What happened between you two?”
 
Letting her explain as it felt she needed to talk to someone, and I was more than willing to listen and understand what was happening between them. “He doesn't like the company I keep... and we don't see each other enough.  So, he dumped me. I was going to slowly torture him at first, but, sadly he's right.”

I could only offer my apologies to her, “I am sorry for you both but it is best to be honest with yourselves even if it hurts at first.” She professed to still love him and I knew that he loved her as well but she continued my thoughts for me as she spoke, I still love him but we're so... different now.  Older... we all change. He doesn't see my goals. Anyway, enough about me... I am very sorry about Mel.”

I would have listened longer but I also sensed that although it was something she wanted to talk about she didn’t seem to want to burden me with her own troubles right now. So I simply thanked her and explained that I had found something she may be interested in. “I was going through some of things in her room. And there is some adamantium there.  She makes no mention of it in her will, but I was thinking of you.”

With a slight waver in her voice I could hear the hurt there and understood, “Death.  It's always so damn final.” As I spotted tears she had been holding back, I moved closer and bent down to hug her. I wanted to reassure her as much as she had me, “Thank you for being her friend. You did so many kind things for her.”

She spoke fondly but also as if she had lost a great friend, who was much like herself it seemed, “She was so stubborn.  I will miss her greatly.” And my own thoughts again returned to our trip together to Thunderpeaks and agreement with her sentiment she would miss Melanna. “I know. I had hoped to find Freldo and tell him but I have not seen him. Will you tell him if you do?” She nodded and I sniffled, “Thank you very much Lillian.”

She startled me, Lillian with the presence of a giant wrapped up in her precious ways of being stubborn herself was more concerned for me at the moment, “I am so sorry, El.  Let me know if you need anything, ok?”

That is when it hit me, what I wanted. “What I truly wish I can't have back, but thank you.” Soon others came up to us and before I could forget I explained that I had some trues for her, but Lillian’s kindness was floored me as she reached to squeeze my hand gently. “You be careful.  You keep your coin.” I wanted to argue because I had been working so hard to repay her and did not want to take advantage of her kindess. “I owe you so much though Lillian.” She stopped me short, “I don't care.” Still I wanted to argue that I must, “Lillian... I do. I wish return the generosity you have shown me. and to Melanna.”

She simply replied, “Someday. But not today.  You take care of yourself.” Stunned and without true words to express, my own appreciation seemed hollow to her heart that was so big. “Thank you dearly Lillian... The coin will go to a good cause I promise you.” And she nodded and bid me. “Travel safe.  You let me know if you need anything.”

It seemed she had been there to speak with a customer, so I left as quietly as I could making my way back to the Haft Lake District.

[Anamnesis]

“I can not fault him.. nor will I.”
Chapter Six

As I made my way back from Prantz, I teleported back to Fort Llast and coming out of the room, I saw Ferrit. “Hi, Elohanna. Just working on my accounts.” She said in her pleasant tone of voice.

I answered but not truly in the mood to talk. “That is fine. I was just coming back here because I didn't feel like going to town.”

Oh why did I have to chose this moment to open up my big mouth. I had not expected her to ask, but she did. “Oh?  What's the matter?”

Again I tried to fight back my tears. “Melanna is gone.”

She sounded genuinely stunned, “Gone?  As in permanently gone?”

Shaking my head yes to confirm was all I could do. “I am so sorry, Hanna!” And next I know I felt the warmth of her hug and found myself hugging her back. “Thank you Ferrit.” Deep down knowing the animosity between Ferrit, Kyle and Melanna. I guess part of me thought the worst, that in a way they would be happy, but how could my thoughts even think something so awful about them. I pushed the thoughts away though because I know it was only my grief and exhaustion talking.

Naturally curious though she asked me what happened, “What happened?  If you want to tell me...” My defense of Daniel still stood, “Her and Daniel were talking and he told her the truth. I don't think she took it very well though... She ran off to Storands, and that is where he found her.”

Ferrit exclaimed, “Oh, my dear! What truth could have been that bad?”

Now I was surprised by my own calmness at the moment and bluntness and tone of voice. “That he could not love her as completely as she wished, but he would be willing to marry her if she asked him.”

Oh what lofty expectations I had of anyone understanding in the same view that I had, “Oh, that was a cruel thing to say!!”

Still I had opened my mouth and now I found myself coming to the defense of my friend, “No... it was the truth. Daniel would never be cruel to her.”

The honesty that Ferrit spoke bit brutally at me, “Daniel has had his own heart broken, how could he have been so brutally honest?”

My own reasoning, my own explanation even though I did not fully understand myself, “Because I don't think he wished to lie to her. Melanna prides herself on the truth Ferrit. She always has.”

She had to agree, “Yes, that's so.”

I explained to her, “I can not fault him.. nor will I.”

“Well, if the Soul Mother hasn't taken her, perhaps she will come back.” I don’t think she fully understood that there was no coming back and I was not going to press this or lose my current will to accept this.

I saw Omer come out of the Library and couldn’t help hug him. “Ah you are awake.”

Ferrit and Omer greeted each other but for some reason there seemed to be something among them, tenseness.

Omer turned to me and asked me if there was anything I needed, “Just time and your friendship and your shoulder to cry on for a bit? Not to much to ask I hope?”

He nodded and replied in his friendly tone, “Anytime.”

Then the questions started to Omer, as she inquired as to whether he knew more, and seemed almost as if my answers were not enough.

“She became distraught after talking with Daniel…” Why would Omer know anything but then again my resolve to stay at his defense as he also is a brother in a sense. “Please do not hold this against Daniel. I know he is hurting so much as it is.”
 
“I was here here in the library with Daniel..she and Daniel looked like there were enjoying each others company. I could see how she looked at Daniel and she was wearing her most beautiful dress. But a distraught Melanna I have never seen.” He gave me a hug as he spoke, perhaps he noticed my relative silence or my shock may have been displayed on my face. I had not known of this.

“Well perhaps "determined on self-destruction" is a better term.” I was lost in thought as Ferrits words struck deep.

“But, if it was not the final death, she may yet decide to come back from the dark.” I wanted to scream but kept myself quiet. Did she not understand or was toying with my heart at the moment something she wished to do? She is not coming back, I wanted to scream, as much as I wished for it. She was not.

“I don't have any idea what you mean...Melanna was determined ....always.”

“Elohanna said she was found on the floor in Storand's.” To this Omer simply nodded. “I was there this morning and saw no gravestone. Although, I only went into the second room.” She continued and as I felt Omer’s eyes upon me even though I dared no look up, I could only answer weakly. “I don’t know where she fell…Only in Storands.”

“Daniel would be the one with the most answers, but I pray you let him mourn this without trying to make him feel worse.”

To this she agreed, “I'll say nothing to him.”

About that time I could say I was very grateful for the knock at the door as Zergon entered with his ox. It was the funniest and strangest sight I had ever seen. His ox inside the house. I just felt compelled to mention it. “Did you ask Omer if you could bring that thing in here?”

“Sorry no, should I take him out?” Zergon I don’t think meant to bring him in but he just simply insisted on following him. Or perhaps the ox and Zergon were rather fond of each others company and he thought nothing of his presence. Apparently I was the only one who found it odd and so I let it go.

Omer seemed to smiled at me as I giggled, I think he was happy to see me smile. As much as I was happy to see his own. He came back dressed in a Toga. He looks absolutely fantastic in his Toga, I only wished I would be able to be there with him.

Before I forgot about it though, I thought to mention to Zergon that I had a scroll that might interest him, and hoped that he did not already have it. Explaining to him that it was the first sixth circle scroll that I had made. And Zergon mentioned he would be starting to begin to scribe soon. I explained also that as a beginning scribe that most of his scrolls would require fire agate dust and phenelope dust.

Soon the topic turned to dusts and gems and I honestly tired a bit of talking and was more interested some quiet time before the meeting was due to start. Soon though Zergon left and I found myself moving to sit in the quiet of Melanna’s Room. She liked to talk but she also appreciated silence. That is where Omer found me, and sat down in front of me.

I told him I had spoken with Lillian and that I had been to Prantz, and he probed for further details, with his gentle whisper that matched my own. “She was upset too.” Omer’s acknowledgement again echoed my own as we both barely knew Lillian.”

He also advised that I should write a small piece for the whisper to which I agree, and even further acknowledged that her parents should know, even if they weren’t close.

[Anamnesis]

A Step into Recovery
Chapter Seven


Soon I found myself moving back at the crafting hall in Prantz watching as Lex’or remained busy fitting his Toga for the party. It seemed everyone I knew would be going.

“Hanna.” He said, and before I knew it I was apologizing to him. “I am so sorry Lex’or, I have not been handling things well at all.”
 
“Don't worry about it Hanna, you have good people you can rely on, and I knew it would happen sooner or later that you would not need me.” His words struck me cold and to the core. Through everything I had tried my best to convince him, he still believed I did not need him. “I do need your friendship Lex'or.” I sniffled back tears from already red and puffy eyes. And soon he sat near me.

“Are you sure Hanna, because every time I try to and I feel I need to be there as a friend you push me away.”

“I handle death so horribly. I did not mean to push you away. But I knew your feelings for Melanna too. It wasn't so much about me as it was her.”

“My feelings for Melanna were resolved a while ago and the same for Eghaas, but my concern and my sympathy were sincere and no Hanna you are wrong a wake is not for the dead it is for the people that new that person a step into recovery and a final goodbye.”

“I am so sorry Lex'or... I should not have pushed you away. Please forgive me?”

“Don't worry Hanna.”

I felt the need to hug him to convey to him that truly I had not intended to push him away but that I had perhaps just realized it was everyone that seemed to be pushed away in some way or another.

“Things will be alright in the future, just don’t get all despaired.”

“I will.. try.”

“You have to Hanna, Think of what you need to do and take comfort in those around you. She is in a better place now.”

“I miss her so much.” I could feel the quiver of my lips as I sniffled back the tears

“And like your parents,” He went on, “They are here…” He pointed to his heart and then to his head. “She will never be far away from you as long as you keep them there, in peace and in good memories.”

Soon Ferrit came in to put finishing touches on her Toga no doubt and Lex’or continued briefly. “Take your time to let the bulge of the feeling pass, but not to long, else you will only be drawn into it to much.”

“I shall listen and try to commit your thoughts to memory Lex'or. Thank you for being here.” And again I hugged him. Grateful for his friendship and being here for me.

[Anamnesis]

Illvacla eo El'Wilmlayla Guild
Chapter Eight

When I left the crafting hall I realized that soon it would be time for the meeting of the Angel’s and so I head back to 118 Fort Llast, Omer’s home and the meeting place for the Angel’s quarterly meetings.

Walking in I saw Rain, or rather he saw me first. “Hello Hanna.” I was going to try to smile but it was to late he had already spotted that something was troubling me. As usual I couldn’t hide much from him. “Are you alright Sweety?” To which I shook my head no.

“She's... gone…” He asked of course who I meant. “Mel....anna.” He gently opened his arms and held me for awhile as I cried, whispering a old prayer in elvish. “I'm sorry for you Hanna, what happened?”

“She fell in Storand’s” I answered weakly. “Who was with her?” I could only look down as I answered, cursing myself within for not keeping my promise to Freldo. “She fell alone.” He only closed his eyes and shook his head, so I continued. “Something happened and she ran there upset.”

“Do you know what happened?” I didn’t want to answer so instead my thoughts ran ahead of the question. "She is in Fort Velenske at the temple right now.  Daniel took her there.”

“Come with me to fort Llast?” And I agreed.

When we made it to the house, Omer was there and invited me to sit with him and so I did, after finally deciding that my need for food and water outweighed my need to sit at that precise moment.

Many things were discussed as the meeting progressed things that ought not to be written here but committed to memory instead as the Angel’s business be that of its own, but the meeting was full of its up and downs and my own disappointments as the feelings of many things were shared between the family are.

[Anamnesis]

The Good With the Bad
Chapter Nine


Eghaas turned around before I could sneak up on him, no doubt I gave myself away either but the way I breathed or the way I stepped. But I smiled when he spoke, “Oh Hello El!” His voice enthusiastic and cheerful.

“Hello Eghaas!” Genuinely happy to see him although he insisted in public of shrouding his beautiful face underneath his hood. I admit though it added to his alure. Seeking to maybe join him either with the people he had been walking with or to spend some time with him. “Is there something I can help with maybe?”

“hm?” he said. “I had hoped anyway.” That I could help him, leaving me a bit confused and bewildered. Strange how I seemed to become confused so easily lately.

“How are you? Are you ok?” His look reassuring as if he had read my mind. I was grateful for his concern and found myself hugging him tightly. “I am alright.” As I felt the warmth of his hug. He seemed to read my mind “Would you like to talk privately?” How did he know? “I would like to if you are not busy?” And he replied “Sure” and grinned at me from under his hood.

Letting him chose we set off to one of our favorite places to talk as he led the way. My arm held his as he offered it, “Shall we go?” His smile most enchanting, I held onto him wrapping both my arms around his one to make sure not to loose my grip on him.

“Wonderful evening” He said, to which I replied. “It is now.” His smile priceless as I found my thoughts speaking how my heart felt more clearly than I had for awhile.

“I missed you.” I said quietly and he answered, “So have I.” Now I couldn’t pass up the opprotunity to see his smile again, “ah so you admit it! You miss yourself too?” As a soft giggled escaped and I could see the soft blush of his cheeks. “I missed you too.” And I couldn’t help but blushed and even brighter as the words that escaped him, only escaped him but not my heart. “more than you know.”

That is when I offered to race him the rest of the way so that we could spend as much time as we could together.

As we reached the familiar overlook we climbed the hill and made our way to the pond nearby. Smiling at him as we made our way to sit at the pond I sat down carefully with my back to the pond. I watched in anticipation of seeing his beautiful face as he tugged his cloak free and pulled his hood down exposing his face, those gentle eyes and his hair so soft and golden. Again my mouth betrayed my thoughts as I thought aloud. “You are so amazingly handsome Eghaas.”

He smiled softy as he took a seat next to me. He complimented my dress and said the sweetest thing “Everytime I see you…you never cease to amaze me.” Then he leaned closer to hold my hand. As he did I could sware my heart skipped within me, and I found myself leaning against him.

“I am sorry about running away like that,” As I heard why and seeing the note as he spoke. I understood why he felt it necessary and I could not be mad at him at all. I found it increasingly difficult to ever find myself mad at him.

Many things we found it in our hearts necessary to speak about, Our friends among the topics, those we were concerned about, who had been put on our hearts to look after and keep safe if we could.

Confessions of how we felt spoke as whispers in the wind. We did not need to speak above a whisper to understand each other. I couldn’t help as our hearts seemed to grow increasingly close, I felt that even at one point he may kiss me, but he stopped. And I was ever so grateful as I wasn’t sure I could have stopped him in that moment. But then my heart remembered also the challenge set before me by Melanna. Somehow she had known my heart would want this, and she was still there in my mind keeping me focused. Not letting us rush in our chance to get to know each other. I loved her dearly and even more in that moment. As every moment spent with Eghaas I knew I was falling further in love with him. The warmth of his arms around me was comforting and I am sure he could feel me trembling as he held me close.

The gentleness of his voice, of the way he stroked his fingers against my hair, my heart raced but he also put me at ease as we held each other. He softly hummed a beautiful melody, so beautiful it was that even though I could hardly believe it. I found myself relaxing against him as if this is where I was meant to be, in this moment with him.

Our hearts thundering together louder than our voices, as the topic turned again to more dire subjects. The good with the bad, made the news more bearable. To be held by someone I cared so deeply for softening it even further, so comforted that as the night wore on I found myself falling into a peaceful sleep.

[Anamnesis]

Eavesdropping
Chapter 10

Approaching the bank of Hlint after waking from a most peaceful slumber on the outskirts of Hlint I had set my sights on Hlint to see if there were others that should be informed about the fate that had befallen my sister and best friend.

As I arrived near the bank, there was Erk speaking drawven with Hrothgar, and a few others whose conversation of a friend caught my ears. I suppose I should not have been eavesdropping but I thought perhaps it could have been a chance to make a sale. And also see if there were any other mages in town to whom I haven’t met before and could perhaps offer my services as a scribe.

I should have kept my nose out of the discussion though and kept on my way out of Hlint as it didn’t seem to go very well.

“I hate dealing with that man, but he's the only person I can affored buying from.” I could see the frown upon the young elves features and that is when I stepped in to ask if I could possibly help.

“I dealth with Kyle Pandorn, is he that much cheaper?” Another unfamiliar voice spoke up.

“Excuse me? Is there something maybe I can help with?” Perhaps I sounded unsure of myself but I had prefered to let the sales come to me than to take them to others. Approaching others was strange.

The eyes of the young Elf seemed to glare over me almost curiously although I couldn’t be sure. He did smile though “It appears so.” Seeing his smile as encouragement though I continued.

“You mentioned Kyle Pandorn, he is a friend of mine.” But their reply was not encouraging after all and so I let them know should they ever been in need of a scribe I was available. After which I made my way from Hlint back to Llast.

[Anamnesis]

Czukay
Chapter Eleven

“What is he trying to do?” I heard Tegan say as I approached, “Being hisself” Was Hawklens Answer. I was unsure who or what they were referring to as I came up to them.

Hawklen seemed to be preparing for the best or worst I am not sure as he cast protection from Good, perhaps he was afraid of me after the incident with the Malar, but I have been long since over that. “ah need it fer da gate spell.”

Czukay’s voice chimed in as I approached, “alo' miss ow are ye thise foine eve?” I answered still curious as to what was happening, “oh I am fine. Better actually.” And he continued, “thas gut te hear, always noice te see a new face in town.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “New? Well, a few years I have been around.” I explained. I had even been on a few trips with him but we had never really spoke. “Well, p'raps not new, but Oi never seen ye a'fore, me names Czukay, well met.” He waved. “My name is Elohanna.”

“well gut te meet ye.” He said. “Pleasure to meet you sir.” As I bowed and he continued with the introductions. “This ere's hawk and tegan. Dont mind them.” I had to laugh, “Never mind Hawklen.”

Tegan’s voice inquired of Hawk, “How have you been Hawk?”

“An excellent suggestion.” Czukay seemed to agree to never minding Hawk. “Tegan I have heard of from friends but never truly introduced to her. “This here is petey,” He said as he shook the skull and blood poured onto the grass causing it to wither and die right before us. “Ooopsie” He said. “Are you alright Sir?” I inquired. “I’m sorry I must go, I am not feeling well,” He then ran off screaming and wailing.

I had the urge to run after to make sure he was alright, until I heard what Hawklen said, “ah, 'es messed in da 'ead. 'is god does it ta him.” Tegan looked in the direction that Czukay had just ran off in and shook her head. “Oh dear..” I said. “Still, ain' too bad fer ah corathite” Hawklen said which truly caught my attention. Tegan asked a very good question and I was very startled by the answer. “Which God does he follow?” she asked and Hawklen replied. “Coranthite.” My question was not for clarity of who the god was but for clarity of if Hawklen was serious. I was surprised as in all my days I had not met anyone who was a follower of Corath. Mist yes. But Corath never.

I think that Hawklen saw the concern on my face, and set to reassure me. “Harmless.”

And then it hit me about Zergon also and the letter Zergon had received threatening if he didn’t leave. “Such as the case with Zergon, Hawklen.” Trying to reassure him as much as he had me about Czukay. I didn’t give him much chance to answer though before I ran off to finish a few things I needed to get done but perhaps I will catch up with him again soon and we can discuss this further. I hope so anyway.

[Anamnesis]

Tahletril Tyr’neldth
Chapter Twelve

Just as I was about to reach to open the door, it opened and I pulled back letting whoever would be coming through come through first when I was met with his curious glare again and he waved. Perhaps a bit of recognition from the previous moment we met as I also recognized him. “Greetings Sir.” At this he appeared a bit puzzled, and then it dawned upon me either he did not know common or he refused to speak it. So I instead embraced the opprotunity to speak in my native tongue and asked him, “Do you speak common?”

He laughed slightly as he replied, “A bit.” And my reply as I smiled more at ease now that our language barrier had seemingly been resolved and broken down. “And I...don't speak Elvish enough. Pleasure to meet you sir.”

“And you too!....Miss...,” He stared at me waiting for an answer.

“Elohanna Min A'Litae* Friends call me Elly or Hanna though”

He smiled, “Nice to meet you, I am Tahletril of house Tyr’neldth.”

Bowing in respect, “Tis a pleasure to meet you Tahletril.” He smirked at me, “No need to bow and then the smirk turned into a smile.

About then the presence of evil walked through the door and I was forced to back away. He commanded that distance be given even without raising his voice. I don’t know who he was but I am not sure I wish to know.  His tone almost as if bothered by our mere presence, “Doorways are meant for passing, not standing.”

To which I simply said, “Excuse me Sir.” As I wished not to bother him further. “Save your excuses for someone who will accept them.” I was further taken aback, who was this evil and abrassive elf who seemed to have struck at more core like an ice pick. He couldn’t be bothered further with us as he went on to do whatever trivial or menial task it seemed had brought him here.

Turning my attention once again back to Tahletril, “I don't believe I have met a more abrasive person.”

”I've seen worse.” He sighed, “Am I holding you back? You were on your way out when I arrived.”

“No I was headed no where in particular but perhaps we should not block the doorway?”

“True that,” He smiled slightly, “Care to join me at the fire?”

“I wish that I could but I truly would not be very good company right now.” His eyebrow raised, “How so?”
“There has been alot of things on my mind recently Tahlethril” I heard him sigh, and feared I hurt his feelings. “That makes two of us, though, I understand if you refuse company.”

Looking down with my eyes closed I answered, “not refuse dear... *she closes her eyes as she looks down* Just in need of some time I suppose.”

Again his curious look overcame his face and he smiled, “Perhaps I know a place to cheer you up a little, works for me at least.”

“Oh? Now the curious look became my own.

“Well... If you feel like walking a bit - there is a wonderful tavern I know.” I smiled again, but realized that I truly had to go, “I would love too and to explain as well but truly can I ask that we do this soon?”

“Well, I'll be around town for a while it seems” His smile caught my eye, friendly and forgiving it seemed and patient. He was definitely worth getting to know better. “I am normally around as well. I am sure we will run into each other again and you can tell me more about yourself.”

“Until then, hold your heart close.” He smiled, and turn to leave humming and odd sounding tune.

[Anamnesis]

Leoric De Andyzz
Chapter Thirteen


Approaching the fire near town there were two men surrounding it, “Greetings.” I spoke up to acknowledge both their presence and they both. One with a very keen eye, or a feel for the presense of the weave.

“Greetings, my name is Leoric, please to meet you.” I smiled as I introduced myself. “My name is Elohanna, pleasure to meet you Leoric.

“Are you a mage by chance my Lady?” a very keen eye indeed.

“Yes I am, Is it that obvious?” he just smiled and asked for my help to dispose of a wil-o-wisps. Of course I didn’t mind and we headed out toward the moors.

The battle was over pretty quickly, though not without us both feeling the sting of our enemies attacks, Leoric seemed surprised at seeing the helmed horror I had summoned and explained that he was a protector. Moraken’s Sword. A far more powerful fighter than I could be alone and I was grateful to have him with us.

“You are a cleric?” As I had noticed his healing, but he explained, he was a servant of nature, it was then that I fully understood him to be a Druid. It was a pleasure to meet an advocate of nature. “I must admit in all wonderings around here... You are the first druid I have ever met.” It seemed he had been searching for others, and expressed is disappointment and concern, “It seems there is something wrong in the order of the druids…”

To me the problem seemed obvious as it struck me their were not more clerics and followers of Aeridin, “The lcacking of more of such devotees to the ways of nature.” Seemed to be the problem as did followers of the Life bringer growing increasingly scarse.

“That can’t be blamed for the ways are hard to bear with at times” He drank from his canteen. “I understand as is the ways of Aeridinite as well.”

“I have…I have lost the connection to Aeridin…I now must seek a way to find it back.”

Hearing him speak of finding his connection to Aeridin I could think of no other place for him to find what he needed than by actually visiting the temple of Aeridin. “If you would like after the tower I can show you where the temple near here lies, perhaps it will help you to rekindle that which you have lost?”

“There is an Aerindites temple here?” He sounded surprised and excited, “”I must travel there with haste then.”

I couldn’t help but smile, “We can go there first then.”

“Thanks for thee help mi'lady.” I further explained that there were actually two close by. One by way of the portal near Morakens and the other west of Hlint and south a ways in the sielwood.

Before we set of we rested by the fire. Where we talked for a while. “Mi'lady do you follow any God?”

I smiled at the chance to answer, “I do, I am an Aeridinite.” To which he seemed to be amazed and commented on my own robes. It had seemed at first he believed me a follower of Katia and then offered me a bit carp as we both sat around the fire to continue our talk.

I was amazed as much as him at how easy he was to talk with.

His question to me was one I had not expected but seemed to be currently in my own thoughts easy to answer. “How do I regain back my connection towards Aeridin?”

“Simple…” I said as I smiled, “You have never lost it. You have only misplaced it in your heart.” To me you could never loose your connection to the Gods but forget to remember that they are always there.”

“No…I have forgotten all his teachings when i was learning as a druid…I think it is best that i start anew…”

“Some of my friends would tell you to remember that he is the life bringer. The life giver.” Looks up briefly and back down.” He seemed to continue his path of questions to which I was astonished at myself to be placed in a position to in some small way provide guidance for him.

“He preserves life right? How do i be a follower of Aeridin again?” he sounded excited and I had to try to slow him down a bit. “He does but does also believe in not prolonging it past its time either. Althought as mere mortals I wonder how we are to truly judge fairly.”

It was about that time that Xyrae had come up and tried to apologize for interrupting. It had looked as though she needed to though and I got up to try to catch her and offer her assistance which Leoric was also more than willing to assist with. “

“Miss?” I tried to catch her attention, and she turned back to us, “No, I just meant my apologies for interupting..” I knew she had not but I was not concerned about her interrupting as I was about seeing her whole again. “No, Do you need help?” I replied.

Leoric chimed in, “No, its fine you seem pale and troubled.”

“Only if you feel up to traversing to the depths of the goblin caves.” She spoke.

I offered, “I can provide you safe passage.” To which she laughed and agreed. She then kneeled to pray silently.

Leorics question and mine seemed to echo each others astonishment that she was down in the bowels of the goblin caves alone. “You wander alone to the lower levels?”

“You were there for the goblin leader weren't you? Alone?” perhaps we were innundating her with questions and slowed down a bit, as we readied ourselves to make our way down.

A few spells later and we made our way down through the caves and to its very heart to where we came upon the room where her tomb and body laid waiting. Before she entered though to retrieve her grave, I summoned Moraken’s sword the helmed horror to make sure the path was clear.

I suppose before I summoned him I should have asked if she had need of the goblin leaders head but in my haste and assumptions I had found out that I may have just unleased my horror and ended the lives of innocents without the need. I couldn’t seem to find my voice until Leoric spoke that he had needed the head of the goblin leader.

A little spirit returned to me as atleast I had not completely caused senseless death, and prayed that Aeridin would forgive me for my mistake.

We made our way back to the surface of the cave, and then we found ourselves again chatting by the fire near Hlint again. His mind still intent on learning more of Aeridin.

I could not refuse this opprotunity as I felt almost like a teacher guiding a student. It was a blessed experience and rewarding to see the brightness in his eyes as he stepped closer to finding within him his faith again.

“When did you start worhshipping Aeridin?” He asked me curiously like a child.

“Oh I have all my life. It is in my blood and that of my parents and theirs before them. For as long as I can remember living in Saida.”

I forget that Saida being the icon of elvish culture, it is also strict about who comes within its walls. “Aah…Saida i have heard only little of it. For i was born as a babarian and a nomad and travels around Mistone.”

“I left not long after my friends passing. My mentor Eli.” I think he sensed from me that I didn’t wish to talk to much about this at the moment or perhaps his own mind and faith was quickly returning in full force that he may have once had in Aeridin and his mind was settled on having his questions answered.

“And how does one such as myself be a follower of Aeridin again?”

I couldn’t help but smile and voice my own opinion. “I still say you never ceased being in your heart especially since you are so willing to come back to him now.”

“I saw truth in his teachings and i was wrong. I seek for redemption.” I could understand as I had recently gone through my own doubts that caused me to pull away from others for months to find what my heart truly needed.

“You seek to make amends it seems much as I have recently. There was a time when I questioned my own motivations behind my actions.”

“My amends are too…insuficient compare to my sin…” He said as if there was a depth of his heart and soul very much regretting some of the roads he had traveled in his life.

“The pure and simple answer of why I wake up each day and why I live though. Is to help others. To put to rest the souls of the undead and to help protect those who need it. I can seek redemption and comfort in knowing ...” I paused briefly, “That I will live the rest of my life doing what I feel Aeridin leads my heart to do.”
 
He smiled again and it warmed my heart to see that in my own lapse of faith and experiences that it had helped him. “I know what I must do now. Shall we?” I smiled too and answered, “Indeed as my friend Melanna would say.”

He questioned me a moment, “Melanna?”

“A dear friend, a warrior, a weapon master and more like a sister to me than any one I knew.” I replied as I stood slowly.”

“Ahh…a good friend…” He understood. “Very much so.” I agreed.

It had seemed that some critter had taken to crawling in his leggings and I couldn’t help but giggle, and then his cheer arose from his voice. “”To Aeridin.” His enthusiasm contagious. “I believed it is fate that i met you.” He smiled. “I think so too.” And I was grateful in that moment as I felt that my faith in Aeridin had been given a new direction.

“Thank Aeridin and thank you Leoric.” Again the smile graced his face, “No the honour is mine.”

Knowing the beauty that waited us both I smiled at the memories of my first time being shown the temple. Melanna had taken me there as I was unfamiliar with the area. I smiled brightly, “The temple awaits. You will love it!”

Leoric spoke words that warmed my heart, “It is an honour to meet you, and Aeridin again.” I pray he never looses his smile or faith again.

“He is always in your heart Leoric you have to trust in him to always be there.” I had never felt more sure that Aeridin was with me in that moment.

“I will… thank thee for the advise.” To which I could not help but appreciate his thanks even more. “Thank you for hearing me not just listening to me.” He smiled and we went off.

As we entered into the beautiful canopy of trees that was home to so many different and fascinating creatures, he was a bit behind me. It seemed as he explained to me, He had “Tumbled over a rock.”

“It is beautiful here…” And a slight giggle escaped me before I could stop it, but gave a gentle warning. “There are alots of rocks around here.”

And I advised him it would be best to head straight south. “and feel free to stop and hug a tree along the way. I do all the time, usually when they jump out in front of me though.” As about that time I walked right into one and did hug a tree.

Again he smiled, “I think you will be a better druid than a mage.” He grinned and I laughed at the notion. “Perhaps.” About that time on our trek through the woods we came upon the Sielwood Witches home. “It has been awhile since I have been here. She seems to be a very nice woman, troubled at times though.”

“The forest around her home shows it.” He agreed his eyes bright with that same smile I hoped would stay there within his heart.

“Should you find yourself with the time. I suggest stopping to talk to her.” He nodded and we continued on our way to the temple.

“Welcome to the Rangers Vale and the temple of Aeridin.” Still holding onto his weapons in a protective manner prepared for anything. I spoke encouragingly to him, “There is no need for your weapons here Leoric.” And he tucked them away as we moved closer to the temple.

As we neared however I let him take the last steps on his own for within I felt this was such a personal choice within his heart that although I was being given the honor to lead him back here.

“Please step inside. This is a journey you have to make yourself.” My town encouraging as he took a few moments to take in the surroundings. “Take your time.”

The shopkeeper voice as welcoming as always to him as he approached, and so I stayed back to allow him time to himself.

“I feel better.” He said as I approached, and he inquired as to who the orc was that stood within the temple. Smiling myself, “I do as well. You have done as much for me by reminding me of Aeridin's will as well.” Then inviting him to try to speak with the Orc, although he had never answered me, perhaps he would Leoric. “He may not answer you though.”

Leoric’s question was one that I had not had asked of me before. “His hand…in the stump?” “Does not appear to be anymore.” I said.

As Leoric seemed to remember something and looked over a small parchment, my attention turned back to him and away from Orc. “What is it Leoric?”

“Aye I just remmebered that i promised to help Ragrian the bard to seek out his necklace.” Not wishing to keep him any longer although I would not have minded helping I had a few things of my own to do.

“Mi'lady…It was a great pleasure meeting you.” He blushed. “It was a pleasure to meet you Leoric. Please travel safely.”

“Mi'lady…shall we meet again?” I couldn’t help but smile. “I believe we will.” And he smiled. And out of respect and sincerity I bowed, “Until we meet again.”

“Goodbye.” Came his voice in what to me felt a sincere and heartfelt way.