Fight Smarter Not Harder

[Mooneyes]

*Keela is seen at the arena working on the skills and fighting modes that Raz has taught her. Anyone that comes  in can see how smooth and carefree all her moves are.*

[Mooneyes]

Another day has gone by. Other than spending my time in the arena, I have gone on a little bit of gathering trips. I need some oak for Jil and some more elder berries.  I am sure there is a market for the berries and I could use the true. Being away from everyone will be good for me too and that means Raz too. I am a little confused about how I feel about him.  Some of the times I hate him and sometimes I think he is charming. If only I could see under the exterior then maybe I could understand him better. But what does it matter to me? He is just my instructor. One day he will be on his way and me mine. All may be forgotten.

[Mooneyes]

// Completed initial training Moving forward for additional field training

Razeriem: You are here, great.
Razeriem: *smiles and winks* Come on in here.
Keela Moonflower: thought I heard some clomping
Razeriem: clomping?
Razeriem: I don't clomp
Keela Moonflower: yeah ya do *she smiles*
Razeriem: Jus tbecause I'm a city elf.
Razeriem: Does nto mean I clomp
Razeriem: *smirks*
Keela Moonflower: You have city written all over you
Razeriem: Proud of it
Keela Moonflower: I'm sure you are Raz *she grins*
Razeriem: Did you do all of your routines?
Keela Moonflower: I did most of them *she pulls on her gloves as she talks not looking at him*
Razeriem: Most of them?
Razeriem: What does that mean?
Razeriem: I thought you were serious about this.
Let's see, if I remember you said that you didn't expect me to do ALL of them and have no life...did you not?
Razeriem: that is when it was a thousand
Razeriem: I moved it to 500
 Razeriem: Nothing, I saying.  Either you're practicign enough to be serious.  Or you're not.
Keela Moonflower: I can assure you that I did at least that
Razeriem: Which is it?
Razeriem: Then you did wha I asked, not most of it.
Keela Moonflower: Yes...AND I have been in the field as you call it practicing as well *she smirks*
Razeriem: do you know why I hav eyou do so many repititions of the same moves?
Keela Moonflower: Of course ....*folding her arms across her chest* My life depends on it, and If I am to be taken serious then I will need to excell in all the moves you have shown me
Razeriem: That sounded nice, but that's not the why of it.
Razeriem: In a fight you have to be able to react.
Razeriem: Instantly in many cases.
Razeriem: I fyou practice these movements they will become instant reaction.
Razeriem: You will not have to tell your sword to move to parry, it will already be parrying.
Keela Moonflower: That goes without saying, and of course I agree with you...I can already see the benefits
Razeriem: Good *hides a small smirk* Draw your clade.
[Razeriem: *blade
Keela Moonflower: *looking up* what would you hve me do?
Razeriem: *as soon as the blade is drawn, he draws his and leaps at her, extending his blade into a chest high thrust.* En guarde.
Razeriem: *melee check*
Razeriem: Melee Check:  17 + 28 = 45
Keela Moonflower: parry check*
Keela Moonflower: Parry Check:  16 + 22 = 38
Razeriem: *lands the tip of his blade into her shoulder but does not continue the thrust and recovers*
Keela Moonflower: *after an attempt at blocking he clips her shoulder just enough to draw blood*
Keela Moonflower: *she looks up at him* I hope you did that for training purposes
Razeriem: Melee Check:  9 + 28 = 37
Keela Moonflower: *she responds with a thrust to the groin and then tumbles past him, recovers and spins around*
Keela Moonflower: *parry check*
Keela Moonflower: Parry Check:  18 + 23 = 41
Keela Moonflower: *smiling at the ease of her parry she spins right and makes a thrust into the back of his neck and then he recovers*
Keela Moonflower: Melee Check:  3 + 9 = 12
Razeriem: Parry Check:  18 + 27 = 45
Keela Moonflower: *eyes wide* Not good
Razeriem: *parries her high thrust out and up away from him and steps quickly forward to Keela and attempts to shove her with his off hand back from him.*
Razeriem: Melee Check:  7 + 28 = 35
Keela Moonflower: *steping back just in time* *reflex check*
Reflex Check:  14 + 12 = 26
 Keela Moonflower: *getting pushed just a little back, staying on her feet she gains her stance and thrust her blade at his juglar before she goes to her knees*
Keela Moonflower: Melee Check:  1 + 9 = 10
 Razeriem: *looks at her curiously as she goes to her knees with a flailing attack. And motions with his blade for her to stand again.*
Keela Moonflower: *going up on one knee she uses her hand to push herself up to a standing position* Okay..that went badly
Razeriem: *grins but says nothing.*
Razeriem: *he steps forward and luges for her head.*
Razeriem: *lunges
Keela Moonflower: *stepping back she does a parry four then recovers to do a thrust to the groin* *reflex check*
Razeriem: Melee Check:  11 + 28 = 39
Keela Moonflower: Parry Check:  5 + 23 = 28
Razeriem: *the tips of his blade draws a line across the side of her head just above her right ear.  It is not deep but it draws a bright line of blood and stings.*
Keela Moonflower: *moving her violet eyes to his face she wipes her blood way with a fierce swipe*
Razeriem: *without making it obvious he is slow to recover his weapon.*
Keela Moonflower: I may not forgive the next one
Keela Moonflower: *spot check*
Keela Moonflower: Spot Check:  2 + 8 = 10
Razeriem: Bluff Check:  10 + 24 = 34
Keela Moonflower: Okay...give me another one *she rocks back and forth from foot to foot*
 
Keela Moonflower: *seeing his slowness she makes a quick stab to his abdomen and then recovers*
Keela Moonflower: Melee Check:  6 + 9 = 15
Razeriem: *Raz doesn't recover his weapon in time to set a parry and unknown reasons does nto move out of the path of the attack.*
Razeriem: *his focus seems to be on her movements.*
Keela Moonflower: *pulling back she does just enough to bring blood to the surface and a small glitter of a smile excapes her lips*
 Razeriem: *doesn't react to the small wound, steps back and sheaths his sword in the same movement.*
Razeriem: So, how did yo do? What did you learn?
Keela Moonflower: *steping back herself* I think I held my own this time. But I need to be quicker follow through faster before you can think or even realize that you have been struck
Keela Moonflower: Once committed I need to follow through
Razeriem: *smirks* High expectations.  Anythign else?
Razeriem: *nods with her last words*
Keela Moonflower: Use any weakness to your advantage, look for an opening or slowness
Razeriem: *pulls out a bandage and steps close to her, watching her eyes for signs she'll allow him to tend the wounds or cut him down.*
Keela Moonflower: *taking the bandage from him* I can do it, thank you
Razeriem: *shrugs* I would do it better.
Razeriem: *both the whole in his skin and his clothing have regenerated.*
Razeriem: Which was your best parry? one through three?
Keela Moonflower: *using the bandage she looks to him* I see you clean up good and fast *she smirks*
Keela Moonflower: the first one...maybe the second
Razeriem: *smiles* I cheat I have magics about me.  Remember that when we spar, do not be afraid to finish your attacks against me, especially her in the arena.
Razeriem: The form on your first was perfect but...
Razeriem: It was slow, you were not yet commited to the fight and thus you had to tell your sword to react instead of it reacting itself.
Razeriem: That moment of time is why my thurst landed.
Razeriem: You keep practicing your routines and that will nto happen again.
Keela Moonflower: *finishing up her bandaging she looks to him and listens*
Razeriem: The second parry coincidentally was the one in the middle of the fight, when you were commited to the fight.
Razeriem: You saw the attack and turned it asside.
Razeriem: Were you frustrated during the third one?
Razeriem: Why did you let that one through? *questioningly*
Keela Moonflower: Why do you ask? Was it that obvious?
Razeriem: You're better than allowing that strike to hit you as fully as I had it.
Razeriem: I think you were carrying extra bagage during the fight.
Razeriem: Where you upset I cut you?
 Moonflower: And you wouldn't? Of course I was!
Razeriem: *smiles easily*

Keela Moonflower: I expect more from myself and to fail concerns me
Razeriem: And if you're fighting cna you let you guard down because you were wounded?
Keela Moonflower: Point taken
Razeriem: It should, but you have to continue past it.
Razeriem: You're attack at my hip.
Razeriem: That was excellent realization of a weakness in defense.
Razeriem: I left it open to see if you'd recognize it and if you'd exploit it.
Razeriem: I congratulate you on doign both.
Razeriem: I also noticed by that time you had your emotions in check and did not attempt to skewer me all the way through.
Keela Moonflower: Oh? YOu are being very congratulatory tonight
Razeriem: I clal things as I see them.
Razeriem: When you messup, I cut your head open.
Razeriem: When you did well I am telling you so.
Razeriem: I have a question though.
Keela Moonflower: yes?
Razeriem: That -attack- you attempted where you ended up falling on your knees.
Razeriem: What was that suppose to be,  in your mind?
Keela Moonflower: Yes Raz...no of course not...well I saw it in my mind but no It just came naturally
Razeriem: No explain to me how you saw it in action in yoru mind.
Keela Moonflower: something I have come to know that works for me...also since I spend a fair amount in trees I scout alot so springing is something I do as well
Razeriem: What were you trying to do?
Keela Moonflower: I assumed that most enemies would be to return an attack at the upper body since that is where they last saw you. but going down on my knees confuses them
Keela Moonflower: they don't expect it
Razeriem: So you plan on kiling them or takign the fight out of them with that move?
Keela Moonflower: therefore it gives me a small advantage...I only use it when I need to
Keela Moonflower: I hope that they have stumbled and I can recover enough to stab them in the back
Razeriem: Then if I may...
Razeriem: Two suggestions.
Keela Moonflower: But of course
Razeriem: First continue practicing it. I like where and why you decided to try this.
Razeriem: It's spontaneous, individual and unexpected.
Razeriem: And two.
Keela Moonflower: *putting her blade away carefully she listens to him*
Razeriem: Since thinkign and movement are critical, insteadof killign yoru momentum by droppign onto your knees.
Razeriem: Why don't you instead either dive into a roll to pass them, spiring to yoru feet and attempt to catch them before they can turn..
Keela Moonflower: *thinking* I see what you mean...killing my momentum...ohhh, I like that. What do you think of spinning kicks?
Razeriem: Or slide past them on your knees if the terrain allows or if it doesn't keep you feet under you as you collapse down, make your attack and then push yoruself back or onward with your feet under you.
Razeriem: Loooove them.
Razeriem: But turnign you back on an opponent is not very wise, so you have to be careful when and how you use them.
Keela Moonflower: *grinning* me too....and spring attacks from a tree or building or fence?
Razeriem: I use them a lto if im fighting one opponent and another enters combat.
Keela Moonflower: understood
Razeriem: Oh, I got to show you this.  *seems very enthuased*
Keela Moonflower: *eagerly watches him*
Razeriem: *runs up to the pillar runs a few steps up it and pushes off, completes a flip and thands i stance with his rapier drawn*
Razeriem: *tumbel check*
 Razeriem: Tumble Check:  12 + 23 = 35
Keela Moonflower: *claps her hands* I love it!
Razeriem: Honestly you seldom get to use it, but I love when I can sneak it in.
Keela Moonflower: I bet!  
Razeriem: One I do use more often is simple to gian moment runing towards or away form an opponent.
  Razeriem: Like if they are near a tree of in a hall way.
Razeriem: *run at them and then about two steps before you get to them, jump and spring off the wall or tree*
Razeriem: It'll increase you momentuem slightly and complete change your angle of attack.
Razeriem: Very few opponents react quickly enough to it.
Razeriem: It's great for gettign past set shields
Keela Moonflower: *following him with her eyes she smiles* I know...I am still working on that but these are my favorite
Razeriem: *runs towards the pillar and this time spring soff it, demonstratign what he just said*
Razeriem: Well before I get carried away, I have some stuff to talk to you about.
Keela Moonflower: You did those very well
Keela Moonflower: Oh ...here it comes
Razeriem: Remember thought and movement are critical.
Razeriem: Some say fight without emotion.
Razeriem: That isn't me, I can't do it.
Keela Moonflower: nor I
Razeriem: I say instead never let your emotion overrule your thought.
Razeriem: Develope you strategies with your emotion in mind.
Razeriem: But emotion is energy, harness it.
Razeriem: On the movement front, notice I gave you three parry combinations to practice.
Keela Moonflower: I like that,
Razeriem: two of them involved you moving either forward or backward while you parried.
Razeriem: Practice that always.
Keela Moonflower: yes, 4, 5, and 6
Razeriem: You can parry and be movign forward offensively.
Razeriem: Or you can parry and move backwards tactically.
Razeriem: My point being you shoudl be moving while doign everythign else.
Keela Moonflower: I noticed you doing that awhile back...when you were doing 400 reps
Razeriem: Move while parrying, move while attacking.
Razeriem: Exactly.  Very rarely will you want to simple hold your ground and parry.
Razeriem: Or thrust without movig forward or backward.
Keela Moonflower: Agreed
Razeriem: Don't be a heavy footed human.
Keela Moonflower: What?
Keela Moonflower: A human?
Razeriem: Stay on your toes and move.
Razeriem: Humans walk on their heels of flat sof their feet mos tof the time.
Razeriem: You're light and agile, stay on yoru toes and stay moving.
Keela Moonflower: and make clomping noised when they walk *she grins*
 Razeriem: *sticks his tounge out*
 Razeriem: With what I've taught you here, you can continue to practice and you'd become an accomplised fencer.
Razeriem: You'd accel at dueling.
Keela Moonflower: it's pink! you are really human *she laughs*
Razeriem: My touge?
Keela Moonflower: *getting herself under control* thank you Raz
Razeriem: When my instructor finished my lessons, this was my level of training.
Razeriem: This is all I was taught.
Razeriem: From here I went out on my own and learned to fight, not duel.
Keela Moonflower: I for some reason think you excelled Raz...alot more than I
Razeriem: I learned the hard was for decades.
Razeriem: Trial and error, more errors by far than success.
Keela Moonflower: I've come to agree with you...fighting that is
Razeriem: But I managed to get to where I am today.
Razeriem: So if you want to be done with me, you have th ebasic tools to accomplish whatever you want.
Razeriem: You can practice what I have taught, keep to one opponent and fight in linear fashion and become a reknown duelist.
Razeriem: Or you can learn to fight, to fight against multiple opponents and weapons.
Keela Moonflower: Don't? I don't want to be reknwoned Raz I just want to be independant
Razeriem: To realize battle is chaos and not straight lines.
Razeriem: You can learn on your own.
Keela Moonflower: Are you ready to be done?
Keela Moonflower: I think I can
Razeriem: Or if you are willing to put up with me, I can show you much more.
Keela Moonflower: I think IF you can put up with ME then I might be willing to learn more
Razeriem: I can, I have one rule and might is not sufficient to gain my time.
 Keela Moonflower: Oh...well you used the am I will to put up with you...phrase first...what's to put up with...your just a swashbuckler right?
Keela Moonflower: And the rule?
Razeriem: The preamble first.
Razeriem: From here we will do a lot of training in the field.
Razeriem: There will not be the magic of the arena ot protect you.
 Razeriem: You will be hurt and you may die.
Razeriem: But there is no substitute for the real thing.
Razeriem: Id like to ge tyou out there fighting goblins.
Razeriem: Learning how to fight against
Razeriem: Trying some of my move and mor eimportantly making your own
Razeriem: If you're willing to take those risks my rule is simply...
Keela Moonflower: *she draws out the word okay*...easy enough...I'm willing
Razeriem: When in combat you do what I say when I say, no hesitations no questions.
Razeriem: After the battles, you can ask anythign you want, you can react howeve ryou want.
Keela Moonflower: when in combat *she says clearly* I agree to that
Razeriem: Then I'll train you.
Razeriem: But things will be differant now.
Razeriem: Until this point I taught you mechanics of fighting.
] Keela Moonflower: I would expect them to be....more stricter I suppose
Razeriem: Now it'd be complete chaos and improvisations.
Razeriem: Not really.
Razeriem: Just don't get yourself killed.
Razeriem: Anything else we can chalk up to learnign experience
Razeriem: Do you trust me Keela?  *small grin*
Keela Moonflower: That wouldn't be any fun now would it.  For someone who seems to live so .......I don't know. You are very serious about this
Razeriem: Either you trust me or you don't right?
Keela Moonflower: *looks at his eyes carefully*
Keela Moonflower: I trust you Raz.  Wtih this I trust you
Razeriem: *seems alight with mischief.*
Keela Moonflower: I can trust you right? In this?
Razeriem: *boldly steps forward and leans in towards her.*
Keela Moonflower: *takes a half step back looking int his eyes*
Razeriem: *his eyes sparkle and he has a devious grin upon his lips*
Razeriem: *takes a half step forward and again starts to lean forward towards her*
Keela Moonflower: *shaking her head as if to clear the cobwebs She uses her hands to push against his chest* Razz
Razeriem: *smiles widely*
Keela Moonflower: I....you...*shakes her head*
Razeriem: *innocently* Yes?  *body posture seems very relaxed*
Razeriem: You said you trusted me, I wanted to know you still feared me.
Razeriem: *winks*
Keela Moonflower: *takes a large enough step back for breathing room* Your not thinking right now
Razeriem: Now if you would stand still for a moment.
Keela Moonflower: Oh ..right this minute I fear you
Razeriem: *slowly reaches up and if allowed grabs her chin gently*
Keela Moonflower: *closes her eyes her lip breaking into a sweat*
Keela Moonflower: *she is repeating the word trust very quietly*
Razeriem: *turns her head to her left and with his other hand he inspects the treated cut across the sid eof her head*
Razeriem: *fusses with the wound a moment unless she pulls away.*  It'll heal.  Next time don't be to prideful and allow me to treat it.
Razeriem: It woudl be all but healed by now.
Keela Moonflower: *shoulders relaxing* Next time?
 Razeriem: *releases her chin, letting the back of his hand lightly brush against her neck and he drops it down and than returns it to his side.*
Keela Moonflower: Oh...*she pulls her gloves up tighter*
Keela Moonflower: *shivering* I think I should go...Raz.
Keela Moonflower: *clearing her throat* When do you want to meet again
Razeriem: You know... if I did not know better.  I would think you don't think I am all bad.
 Razeriem: *sets a time to meet*
Razeriem: I brought you something as I did not know if this would be our last meeting.
Razeriem: You have told me a few times you'd like to be done with me.
Keela Moonflower: At first?  Now..I'm not sure
 Keela Moonflower: *nods not sure what else to do*
Razeriem: *smirks his eyes liquid with mischief and delight*
Razeriem: *retrieves a blade from his packback and presents it handle first to Keela*
Keela Moonflower: hmmm...Raz
Razeriem: Take it, and learn to use it.
Keela Moonflower: *she looks at the rapier* You .....can't possibly..
Keela Moonflower: you are sure about this?
Razeriem: Telling me wha tI can't do seldom goes as people desire.
Acquired Item:  Tymewa
Razeriem: I have another like that.
Keela Moonflower: Accepting it** Thank you *she seems puzzeled
[Razeriem: I collect them because I value them all.
Razeriem: But I'd rather see it used than sitting on my weapon rack.
Keela Moonflower: *looking it over and over at the fine work*
Razeriem: I named it for you.
Keela Moonflower: Tymewa?  
Razeriem : [Tell] elven means Pride.
Razeriem: I think you allow your pride to decide much for you.
Razeriem: My challenge for you is for you to learn to harness your pride as a tool as a weapon in combat.
Keela Moonflower: Pride *she smiles and then goes serious* Is that a bad thing?
Razeriem: Depends if you control it or it controls you.
Razeriem: You will have to decide that on your own.
Keela Moonflower: We are a prideful race, you know that...*she reaches out to touch his hand then takes it back* Thank you
Razeriem: You are welcome.
Razeriem: Now I think you should go before you think more of me than is healthy fo ryou.  *playfully winks*
Keela Moonflower: I should be going now, *she backs up and then turns to walk away*
Razeriem: Teh wastelands and don't be too late.
Keela Moonflower: goodbye

[Mooneyes]

*sitting at the banks of Lake Splendor*

The campfire is going so I am taking the opportunity to roast some bear meat and some pike and salmon. I had a pretty good day. Part one of my training with Raz is finnally over. Now we move to the more practical part of the training. He couldn't express how dangerous situations can get.  It is important that I listen to everything he says in hopes to survive the enemy.
I'm looking forward to see where he first takes me for this will set the standard on what we will be doing and move on accordingly.
I have been working on some manuevers that I want to add to those that Raz taught me.
At our last meeting in the arena..I had some uncomfortable Incidences with Raz. One, he in one of his moves he scratch my face with his rapier. Shocked, I wiped it with my sleeve before we continued with our work. At the end he reached in with his hand as if to touch my face with miechievous eyes. I took a step back to avoid the gesture.  Once again he came forward and I pushed him back with one hand. One last time he came again and asked if I trusted him.  I said in this I trust him, griping my chin he turns my head to look at the wound he had made with his rapier. Aparantly my attempts at healing the scratch was not as good as he could have done. Slowly lowering his hand he left a soft gentle brush of his fingers trail down my face. Again he asked if I trusted him...and looking up with bright nervous eyes, I said inthis I trust you.  And then he winks....grrrr.  What I would give to know his deepest thoughts. I don't have much patience with most people and then he hides behind this hard exterior with half hearted winks and grins. I don't know.  He makes me feel feminine when I choose not to. I try not to smile back at him.  I guess I try to harden my self against him. The blood in me that makes me who I am I take seriously. In the past there has been no one other than my parents that saw any affection from me and me them. That is why I hold everything together.  I MUST KEEP EVERYTHING  TOGETHER! *taking my fish from the fire I eat and store the bear meat*
Tired, I climb the tree and snestle with my furs into a nice spot and slowly dift off.

[Mooneyes]

Another Day has come and gone. All around Center and Vehl there is talk about the relief that is being flooded into Hlint and the surrounding areas. I too have managed to make my way to the outskirts of Hlint. One can see the devestation the dispair among the people.  If you look closely though you can see relief workers bringing hope and aid to those that are camped outside the gates of Hlint. The gaurds work long hours setting up perimiters to maintain a safe enviorment for those that need aid and those who are providing it.  My heart goes out to everyone, child and adult alike. I think I should find some way no matter how small or large to help. I have a collection of furs that I am sure they could use to keep warm. There should be someone I can get into contact with that will direct me to the right place to drop them off.
Sehky and I met the other day.  We talked for a long time and he told me that he was concerned about Breanna being gone. He  has not seen her for over a month and it makes him feel as if she has left him.  I tried to encourage him to wait and see if she can be found.  This is the longest time she has been gone from him but she is also known to spend alot of time in the library.  Who knows. Sehky is my best friend and he has said I am his as well so it is natural that I feel sad for him.  Meanwhile, we spend time hunting together. He is the only one who makes me feel safe and secure. We are like brother and sister. Hopefully soon he will hear from Breanna so that his heart will be at peace.
Well it is time to go meet Raz and see what he has planned for us today.

[Mooneyes]

*at the campfire outside of Hlint*

I spent some time with Sehky a week ago.  It seems that he is worried about his relationship with Breanna. I tried to encourage him and lift his spirits. One thing for certain is that we are able to be quite frank with one another. There is something to be said about having a best friend who one can confide in.  We talked for hours and even went fishing. I really do hope things work out for he and Breanna. He has offered me a room to stay in at his house but he already has someone there. And I'm not sure what being there would do for he and Breanna's relationship. To distract ourselves he took me fishing to some of his favorite spots.  We caught some pike, catfish and bass that we cooked and divided. I told him that I had started working on gem crafting and he was excited for me and had no problem giving me suggestions on how to craft the final product into something lovely.  I am working with Alexandrite now and seem to be doing prett good. I have to admitt that it can be costly to get the supplies needed in order to do it, polishing oil being one of them.  Sehky even encouraged me to turn all the dust left over to something useful such as healing potions and polishing oil.  He gave me the ingrediants to look for so I have been scouring the countryside looking for them.  We'll see if I start making a profit once I get better.  I need to soon so that I can update my clothing and jewlery.
*smiling* I ran into Raz a couple of days ago as well.  We both knew that there was some kind of barrier up between us and I will have to admitt that most of it is mine.  My stubborness and pride seems create some hostility between us.  He has asked several times if I trust him and honestly it is a hard question to answer.  I so want to and I guess in some things I do. He continues to give me complements and has started to make me smile.  there is fear though in me. I have put up several barriers to protect who I am as an individual. But I think he is starting to see right through them. Can I trust him with my most inermost feelings? Do I even dare to feel at peace with him like I do with Sehky? Raz has offered me a room at his house. There, I have said it. Is it out of charity or something else.  I fear he did so because he wants to do a sculptur of me.  He mention that he does. I swear I can not do that.  My body is my own and I can't give that away for something such as this. He has offered a month of room and board to see what becomes of our "friendship". I sit here and shake my head. And honestly, I cry.  He says that I am young and I should embrace who I am as a woman.  I god I wish to know what to do.  This is one thing that I do not dare to talk about with anyone. But I am sure that Raz has been liberal in discussing about me with others.  Just a week ago I met a friend of his by the name of Gel. And he said that I looked just as raz had told him.  I guess that is why I will keep my thoughts to myself. I do not want to be thought as a loose woman and have my repatation soiled.  I guess that is why I am reserved when it comes to letting Raz to close to me.
*wiping her eyes with her sleeves she closes her jounal and turns to Sticker*

[Mooneyes]

Where to begin *sighs* Does there have to be a beginning anymore? Or just a continuation? Even an ending seems attractive at times. My body is no longer my own anymore. No longer do I have that which every young girl cherishes to give to her love. I remember the beginning so well. Randall was his name. It was taken from me in a most violent way.  He said he would have some fun with me before I was to be used at bait. And well I suppose he did. So I lost what was dear on the behalf of another. He knows. And I suppose he was angry. But he is whole as I sit here and write tonight.  Good for him. Three day's I went missing. Three day's that changed my life forever. Sehky went looking for me. For three days he searched. He was able to find one of the bounty hunters that was working with Randall who's name was Bill. Sehky killed him. Blessed Sehky. He sought, he came, he found. The toranite guards found me right before Sehky stumbled upon us. I was in a bad way. Very close to death. I'm not sure I remember all that took place that day. I do know that I could hear him. Like some echo in a canyon calling out to me. The gaurds were telling him to stay back. But he persisted. And then he was there..holding me. The gaurds quickly took me to Ft. Last to the temple for healing. They stopped the bleeding. And just in time. I gained strength and was able to leave on the third day. Sheky was there outside the temple waiting for me. The other was not. **shrugs* Sehky and I both agreed that I should not go back to his house, not even to pick up my things. Having no where else to go I rented a room in Center. Sehky checked on me daily. I heard that Randall was hung after a trial. That gives me little comfort. It was just a day after the hanging that I felt that I should warn him. Warn him that they .........had used me to draw him out. **laughs sarcasticly* Right! I'm his beloved student. Right! Why for the life of me did I seek him out. But seek him I did. I snuck in late at night gathered what was left of my belongings. We found each other. I told him. All but.......He agreed that I needed to go into hiding and he would help in any way he could. Nope...he couldn't. He couldn't help me. I asked that he not tell Sehky that I had been there and we agreed that he and I would try and stay in touch. Yeah. Life was decent but there was something eating at the very inside of me that made me sick. I had to take care of it...or I wasn't going to ever have peace. I snuck back in and left a letter. Then I was done. Sehky and I have grown closer. Our friendship has blossomed into one of love. Or love as one can know of it. His Breanna has left him. That was a long time ago. I just forgot about it with other things......... We spend most days together now. Enjoying more and more of each other. He takes care of me. And I guess I need taken care of at times. Still, my mind is not at ease. The other contacts me. Says we need to talk. Will it end? Gah!!!! I wish not to write anymore....Sehky and I share most everything and I do not want him to find this. **traces the "R" that's carved just behind her right ear** *Goes in search of Sehky*

[Mooneyes]

I love him!! It is what Ilsare has shown me. Daily my Sehky tells me that. He is a complete reflection of Ilsars beauty. How I have lived this long without him startles me. He has shown me the beauty of jewlry making and I know that this comes from Ilsare as well. Sehky has praised me at the ability of my ring making. He says it is a blessing from the Lady of Love. So much he has shown me and I have seen it with my own life. My heart fills with passion for him and my life is complete with him in it. So much so that I learned a prayer that I will recite to Ilsare everymorning.
*down on her knees*

"Grace me the words to catch this man

[Mooneyes]

I love him!! It is what Ilsare has shown me. Daily my Sehky tells me that. He is a complete reflection of Ilsars beauty. How I have lived this long without him startles me. He has shown me the beauty of jewlry making and I know that this comes from Ilsare as well. Sehky has praised me at the ability of my ring making. He says it is a blessing from the Lady of Love. So much he has shown me and I have seen it with my own life. My heart fills with passion for him and my life is complete with him in it. So much so that I learned a prayer that I will recite to Ilsare everymorning.
*down on her knees*

"Grace me the words to catch this man

[Mooneyes]

I love him!! It is what Ilsare has shown me. Daily my Sehky tells me that. He is a complete reflection of Ilsare's beauty. How I have lived this long without him startles me. He has shown me the beauty of jewelry making and I know that this comes from Ilsare as well.  Sehky has praised me at the ability of my ring making. He says it is a blessing from the Lady of Love. So much he has shown me and I have seen it with my own life. My heart fills with passion for him and my life is complete with him in it. So much so that I learned a prayer that I will recite to Ilsare everymorning.
*down on her knees*

"Grace me the words to catch this man's eyes
Open my heart so that wounds won't deter me
Sing on the wind to tickle his ear
And let my soul finally find home"

Ilsare please hear me...let this prayer find Sehky's ear.
Please endwell in me to show your love for others and that in which they do.

I will go to the Gathering of the Pink with Sehky, as my teacher and me his Apprentice.  It will be there, that I will bare my heart before Sehky and Seek to be brought into your fold. I will lay my craft before you and embrace your joy and happiness at my desire to create the most beautiful peices of Jewelry for others in your name.

Use my past mistakes and hurts and turn them into pieces of reflection. Help to rememember those things as growing tools in love them and you.
Thank you Lady Ilsare
*bows her head and then rises*

*joyfully runs to find Sehky*

[Mooneyes]

I'm sitting at one of my favorite places...Lake of Glass...it is one of the places I find peace...Ilsare..please help me...show me your Will. I am running faster than I have ever run before, and I have been running my entire life.  You know how much I love Sehky..I love him more than myself.  Please do not take him away from me. You know my sins..ones that I deeply regret. You know the pain that I have suffered and I want peace. Let your grace shine upon me and lift me from the pits that i find myself. Bless mine and Sehky's love for one another. Give it wings to soar like eagles. Let nothing seperate us I beg.

**curls herself around a tree and cries**

[Mooneyes]

**a few days later**

I swear...if HE touches the one that i love...though i counted HIM friend...i will destroy him....This I vow....

[Mooneyes]

So much under the bridge....so much that changed the very fibers of who I once thought I was.  Some called me strong of will...stuborn..prideful and bull headed.  I tended to agree.  Then my knees buckled.  My spine became fluid. Everyone was a friend or brother or sister.  Perhaps more than I should have let.  I know that now...I hope I have learned from my mistakes. Only time will tell won't it.  One wishes that they could go back to the past and change time. I guess I want that to some degree but since I cannot then I have to live with the choices that I have made and  the gut reactions that have gnawed at me like a termite does a piece of wood.  If I am right then I hope this termite takes down an entire forest of dark elves who have threaten me and those that I love. I will offer my resources and aid to those that will make this come true. I have a library of memories that are packed away in my mind.  I wish that I had time to write them all down for there willl be a day that someone may wish to read them. I shall try and do that in my spare time but for now while I have a moment I want to write down a copy of a letter that I found in the Bull's Eye Inn at Center:

**it reads**

Things remain fluid at Center and
the Orcs did not do their job.  Have
your  Corathite assassins spy on the
town until we can recruit giants.

We will send a red cloaked woman
to town when we are ready to proceed.
We have our claws into the one of the
Rpfies in town so we are well informed.

**signed***
    GF

I have shown this letter to the authorites as well as Daniel, Sehky, Tegan and Rory.  I have asked each one to keep it a secret until I hear back from the authorites. I hope I can trust them.  I have not heard a thing from them and I am still waiting.  

I will seeking them out again if they do not answer me soon.

[Mooneyes]

Today I decided to clean out some old chests at Sehky and mine's home and took some belts and fish to the guild. While there, to much at my surprise, Breanna walked in.  I had my back turned to her so it was she that spoke first to me. He voice soft and pleasent she said hello and asked about a greater mages robe. In all honesty I was taken back. Swallowing my pride I offered to find one for her and quote a price.  After checking several chests I was not able to find one.  I did write her name on the waiting list that Ferritt has started for items that have been requested for other customers should one become available.  I was cordial with her and she was very apprciated of my help.  We exchanged pleasentries and said our goodbyes.  Once she left I fell almost to the floor and finnally was able to grip the counter top with my shaking hands. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure and then I gathered up my things, locked the door and headed to Audria and then futher out to the desert with Ty. **shivers at the memory** How much more could I take.  There, right before we set out...was a party who was looking for adventure.  And in it was Breanna.  I had to close my eyes to find my center again.  She was with Aden, Falco, Harrigan, Melody and if there were another I can not remmeber.  After introductions were made again Brea and My eyes met once again. There was no malice...just a sense of sadness and longing. We nodded once again at each other and got to work. I told them that I was looking for Topaz for Sehky and they were welcome to come and that if anything else were found that it would be theirs.  So we headed out toface the desert giants and all things went extremely well.  We got the topaz and some elexandrite which they rolled for. After all of our journey we all were weary and decided to camp.  Alll went back to Prantz and I and Ty took a room at the inn at Audria.  Ty bless her heart has a crush on me...but I do not return the feelings.  I seee her as a sister and can't imagine a relationship with another woman.  I love Sehky and enjoy all that we share with each other.  He is my husband, my lilfe mate and I cherish him above all other things.  Yes, we have our differences..some major...and we will get through them.  People say that is what makes a marriage stronger.  I believe so.  At least it is my hope.  I can see no one but him in my life.  One thing only....we talked about being on the same team.  I hope I can trust him.  And I am sure he wants the same thing.  I can't wait to see him next and show him the topaz.  How to do you surprise someone who has most things and wants for nothing.  If I can do some small task for him then I am happy.  I have much more to write but I am tired.  **she looks over at Ty sleeping and she pulls a blanket over her shoulders as I pull mine up to my chest**

[Mooneyes]

A new start! Sehky, my precious Sehky still loves me. His face was full of tears as greated me and we held each other close. It was as if our lost parts that have been missing found each other again. We are as complete as we were before. As we ate the wine and cheese and bread he watched me in awe. "Keela is it real?' You are home?" Yes my darling I am home. I shared with him about the reason i had to leave and he said that now it all makes sense and for me to never leave again. I promised that I will not. He is protective about me. Gearing me up before I so much as step out the front door for whatever evil lays outside. I have potions, weapons and other supplies to aid me as I travel. He wasn't to guide me around...I think it is so that he can protect me. *smiles softly** I'm not worried about taking care of my self but I will let my sweetheart do his thing. Plus it will give us more time together. I hope that once we settle down we can have a more serious talk about why I left Mistone and him. Then I want to see Rory and Argos and the children. How lucky that they have a full house. I miss them. Now enough of writing. I need to check my gear once more before Sehky and I go out hunting.

[Mooneyes]

All geared up. With Sehky;s guiding hand I am ready to venture forth. After a visit to the Temple in Hlint we both prayed, our hearts one once again. Hand in hand we make our way to The spider cave, the diamond cave and then to the great forest. I catch Sehky watching me, his eyes filled with tears and sometimes with smiles. He is afraid for me. He said that I am to stay behind his back and let him take the full asualt. When has that ever happened? It has always been me up front. But I understand his protectivness. He doesn't want to lose me again so I will do as he says. We are still traveling and I love being by his side once again.

With the sun against our backs, we stand hand in hand. Ready for the next battle. We are one again. Bring it on!