Freldo Jabutica's Journal and Letters, Volume Two

[SuperMunch]

So much to write about, where to begin?  So much has happened, so much I've reflected on and so much I need to write down for fear that my short attention span catches up and...  *doodles...*  I end up forgetting what I was writing about.  It's best to list the stuff and then I'll worry about organizing them: - Lilly's consistent state of moving away from me and others that like her. - Jennara's tour and invitation to help out the folks of Roldem. - Desperately seeking arrows! - Irritating Folks. - Ranéwin's sad encounter with the soul mother. - An honest conversation with Ranéwin... also known as a confession of my past.  Easy one first...  Desperately Seeking Arrows...  So I've taken a liking to shooting arrows off like there was no tomorrow.  Ranewin and I, along with our summons from Ilsare had quite a time shooting everything that charged us on the road to Rodez the other day - I went through at least eight quivers, bringing my total of arrows down to a meager five sets of a hundred, it must be hell and expensive to be a full fledged archer and go through eight quivers per trip.  Anyway, time for me to make more arrows, a lot more arrows, thank goodness it's not hard anymore, I can even smelt my own iron and platinum if I need to...  Perhaps I should start selling the bundle of mahogany arrows, I could make a killing with them as the Almighty Lens of True Prices sets their price so high.  Unless you belong to the Cult of the Racial Superior, in which case you only pay two thousand trues for a set of platinum full plate and resell it for fourteen thousand and pretend to care by requesting servitude, or credit, as a form of payment.  Anyway, I'll probably finish up this entry, pack a crate of mahogany and go make a few hundred arrows as Ranéwin's also going through them like they were going out of style.  Jennara's Tour and Request for Help  We meet in Rodez for a little trip towards Silden and Jennara is there.  It's very clear to us that we have our philosophical and personal differences but I can't help liking the quiet gal, her sharp eye and seriousness puts me in my place without ever really offending me.  I actually want to behave around her...  Quite a talent that very few have, not even the morons that some folks prostrate themselves to touch me so deeply, I'd have to say that I have such legitimate reverence for a handful.  Anyway, she told the group of the story of the battle that ended up in the destruction of Tibum, one that I had heard before, and we set out towards Silden, Tibum and we even went to visit the Monastery of Dreams where Reriel asked us to put a stop to the silliness of some renegade monks, which we did of course, and were nicely rewarded, I even got to keep the robes that Mylindra found in a crate despite the fact that it made me look like I was eight months pregnant.  The important bit was that Jennara asked me to help out the fisherman of Roldem.  I confess that I got so involved with being overjoyed that I missed the finer points of our chat but, from what I understood, she needs some folks to help bring the fishing trade back on it's feet and also to reach deep into Alibor for some prime fish.  Luckily I still remember the horrors of The River of Death so I'll have the necessary respect for it.  I'll anxiously await Jennara's call and I'll probably get to work on my technique with the rod and the reel as bows and fishing arrows aren't every effective in the high seas.  Irritating Folks!  I wonder if it's a crime to desire someone death for not speaking in an understandable way...  Nah, probably not.  I must exclude folks with speech impediments and dyslexia from my list of people that I wish dead, dwarfs are born with potatoes in their mouths, tiefers might have fangs or forked tongues, some folks have a really, really strong accent and some have a difficult time in organizing sentences, though no fault of their own.  Those I have no trouble with, I can usually piece things together but my pain with those that consider themselves learned yet talk as though they were challanged.  I also nurture a deep hatred of the "no offense" folks...  "No offense, but your mother sells herself for a copper a day"... as though "no offense" was a prefix that exempts the speaker from the guilt of being a moron.  It's a shame that the common tongue, fruit of ages, is butchered and abused.  Lillian's Voyages  I mentioned to Ranéwin that I usually ignore what Lilly says.  She suggested that I start paying attention and that made me touch on thinking about what Lilly and I have or had.  No longer is she the same person that I know a time ago, she used to sway from blood thirsty killer to sweet gal but the sweet gal in her is rarer and rarer.  She's a mercenary now, disappearing for days and months at a time and only coming home to drop off a nice present or two before taking off again in the middle of the night.  Mind you, I really love the gifts but that's not why I like her, it's her and she's never around anymore, she never sits to talk with me and she's even gone so far as mistreat Lyle for no good reason.  On further thought, I don't even know her when I see her - I know her face well, I know her voice and I know her laugh but she's changed.  Either I've become so attached to her that I have her so close to my heart that I fear change or she really has changed.  She blames her swing towards blood on her time spent with the drow, which I think is hilarious as she has a devotion towards Daralith that's so strong that she goes to great lengths to stick up for him.  I also like Daralith, he's a funny guy in a twisted way, but I know how vile he can be from his talking and I have no illusions that he's not one to spread blessings of joy and laughter yet Lilly follows him like a dog.  I don't know, I'd love to talk with her about this but I'm sure she's a lot more interested in diving for emeralds, mithril, titanium and other things that I've only heard of, no time to talk with one that loves her and wants to see her better.  I owe Lilly a lot, a lot more than is healthy, but the way things are going with her hurts me so much. I miss coming into my room and seeing her sound asleep on my bed at the Arms Inn. I miss calling her my pack halfling and having her pout. I miss her caking mud on my bed with her stout boots. I miss having her mess up my room. I miss her giggling as she unloaded tons of coal into the Coal Crates while I slowly descended into panic. I miss having having her around. I even miss her bossing me around.  I go and sit in her room sometimes, wondering where the "delicate" gal that decorated the room so sensibly is and if she'll ever come back.  Ranéwin's Tale, a Soul, a Confession and Deep Feelings  This bard is blessed with the luck of heroes... or halflings as so many like to remind me.  Despite not voraciously eating pies, my father's sense of humor in giving me my name, my choice of halfling-ish colors and my adoration of all things halfling-height (including gnomes, despite their noses) have come to mean that I am a halfling trapped in a human's body - perhaps I can understand Acacea a little better in saying that we're of the wrong height.  Anyway, my luck of the halfling folk has granted me safety and peace from the Soul Mother, except that one time, which I remember so well, under Arms Keep where I lost my only string.  Anyway, on Ranéwin's encounter with the soul mother...  I hope to the gods nobody finds this journal for the next few sentences would cost me my life at the hands of the one I love and loves me - such a poetic death that I am almost tempted to open it for all eyes to see and await my just punishment.  At the end of our trip, I wanted to show her the walking chests that guard the portal to Pandemonium, at least that's how I remember it.  We entered, on my insistence and tragedy struck as we were unprepared for the chest's hard lid and crushing weight.  We fled but the chest was faster and it took her down with a thunderous bite and on the cavern entrance my love lost a string of her soul.  Either she died to protect me, or luck shown on me as they pursued her - I don't know and I didn't care.  I fled the butchery and my luck would keep me alive a little longer as bears that we had avoided narrowly avoided killing me.  We spared them out of respect for nature and nature set them on me for I was certainly an easy snack for them.  I hurried towards shelter and tended to my own wounds before letting loose a storm of tears and misery for not being able to help her.  I awaited her return in quiet sobbing and as an ache of sadness, that drove me to want to tear my beating heart out, swelled.  As she appeared I wiped away my tears, swallowed my self-loathing and turned my best face and hopes towards her...  She was still as radiant and precious as every time I saw her but the gnawing of my conscience allowed the clouds of doubt to cover my sun and I was ashamed to be with her.  A kiss and she blew them away but I knew and know where I erred and I can never forgive myself for my hurry.  I have no intention of knowing how many more strings she has to tie her to this mortal plane for I accept that all things live and die - except for the wicked, they live on to spit on the face of the good that pass surrounded in light.  Time with her is precious... so precious and we sat and talked of things we've kept from each other.  We came around to revealing our secrets, at least those that might affect the other, and I told her of the time long ago where I seized the reins of opportunity and dug myself into a hole where I could have lost myself in.  I confessed what I did and that I knew I was wrong.  I explained to her that I never really knew what happened and that my feelings were still a bit confused but that I had made my choice now, no matter if the past came back for another go.  She told me of her past, of times when I was a boy - of her heart's beating and of the silliness of youth.  I know I'm avoiding something with her though.  Not a secret and certainly not a lie...  I think I'm waiting for the right time before revealing this last little bit, one that shouldn't surprise her but would change her life and my life forever.  But for now, we'll glide on our shared wings, hoping and wishing that it need not end.

[SuperMunch]

The Spirit Dunes are huge!

I guess I am capable of getting lost after all, that's what happens when I don't pay attention to where I'm going.  I mean, I know there were a lot of scorpions here but when I finally went over to look at them I left the beaten path and ended up in a camp of sorts, and I have no clue where to go now.  Hopefully no nasties are waiting for me in that hole in the ground.

While I wait for help - also known as my gallant fiancée and her noble steed - I might as well fill out this battered journal since I've got nothing else better to do other than sun dry some meat, tune my fiddle and whittle some mahogany into toothpicks.

This journal looks worn out and excessively heavy, I think I'll make myself a new one and retire this to the library.  

From the look of the last dozen pages or so, I haven't written in here for a really long time, perhaps a year, so I'd better write the important stuff.

A Leap

I'm getting married soon and as luck, fate and destiny would have it, it's to Ranéwin.

Luck for I could have ended up marrying anyone for not only do I have stunningly rugged good looks but I'm also a pretty good craftsman - I'm sure some warrior gal would eventually let her guard down to snag me as her workhorse.

Fate and destiny...  Fate and destiny...  I'd better check the first volume of my journals at home, but I'm pretty sure I've been drooling for her for ages and after all that I've suffered, to hold her and have her call me hers is simply... sublime.  Cole brought us together, winds blew us apart, we met again on the day the clouds came, the unresolved past separated us and now as if in the Archer's plan, we're now one.  The past, though full of pain, built this moment for me - without all that happened, disgraces and errors, I would not have been able to appreciate the simple sitting with her by our fireplace.

Subtle and sublime, delicate and divine.
Our pieces fell into place after so long.
I cannot grow tired of her and I'm almost sure the reciprocal is true.
Together 'till I fade and vanish and afterwards in the Lady's dream.

So the preparations are nearly all done, I need to write the invitation and send them, my list is a very shallow list for many reasons.  After that, the silly exhibitionist ceremony to confirm what we and the Dreamy Lady know by heart.

I was afraid of marriage, and I still play the part for Ranéwin's amusement, but I want this with every fiber of my being.

Anyway, that's how it is - Freldo and Ranéwin are to be married.

...

You know what, nothing else I've done this past year is even remotely as nice as what I've just written, I'm finding it hard to best it with my travels to Belinara, Tilmar and the grove we found there, the Monastery of Dreams, romping in Dregar, chipping fire opals by myself, my meeting with Treana, my letter to Calvin and how much Lilly hurt me but seemed to make it up.

I guess that's it, I'm still lost (not really, but let's say I am) in this ocean of sand after concluding that the greatest thing I've ever done is to have fallen in love, lost it, found it and then let it spread through out my life.  I have become the lesson Lady Reventage taught me so long ago, when I asked her what it was to follow the Heart of Gold - I was truly born for this.

Anyway, back to tending to my signal fire and wait for my princess in shining armor to save her fella in distress.