Caerwyn Ahrail'lan - Private Journal

[Cinnabar]

~ Janra, 1446

The first part of the year found me in the company of Ayana In'Darsus again.  Ever since I had been discarded by Amanda, I've never been sure what Ayana was thinking about us.  I cannot bring myself to act on my feelings for her as, of all the people I know, she is the one I would wish to hurt least.  I frankly am no longer able to give to anyone that which I think she would have wanted from me;  I had told her as much as we had sat and talked and wept together in Allurial, those years ago. In any event, she was at a loss over her lover Dradnats' mysterious disappearance and, while she was clearly unsure of how she still felt about him, wanted desperately to find him or news of his fate.  I accompanied her to his temple at Katherian where, even after interviewing one of the high priestesses there, could discover no news.  We traveled back to Mistone, disheartened, and after a long talk in Palden Lake, I left her to her confusion and grief.  

Sadly, there was no opportunity to celebrate the arrival of the New Year with Jaelle again this year, as her presence has been sporadic.  *sighs slightly*  Months later however, she did answer a call (as did I, and happily, Ayana and Dradnats, once again reunited and very much in love ) from a beleaguered village which had become the victim of an inept alchemist (well intentioned, I think).  Romance was in the air and once the mystery had been solved and, for the most part, put right, we repaired to a house in Leringard.  The spark between us had dwindled and in some ways our time together in general was becoming ... forced, for lack of a better word.  I don't know what had happened between us, but it seemed as if we were spending time together more out of a sense of obligation to what we had become rather than any real desire for the other's company.  Time will tell;  perhaps this is only a phase.  *shrugs*  

In autumn, I began formal training in the ways of the Arcane Archer, under the direction and tutelage of Jilseponie Kendall.  She has taught me much already:  how to steady my hand, why that is more important than the strength of my arm, how to read the battlefield better (especially to note, going in, all the avenues of advance and retreat).  She has explained in some detail how the Al'Noth can be woven into an arrow just before it's let fly and how, as my skills advance, the impact of that weaving will increase in different and substantial ways.  She has shown me that mobility can be a greater defense than armour for an archer and suggested that a horse is something I should look into acquiring.  Through Lance Stargazer's good offices I have acquired a fine Hunter's bow of yew wood from the guild which helps immensely!  The primary lesson I've taken away from my sessions with Jil is that it's the hand that finds the mark and the bow that delivers the killing force;  I had been putting far too much focus on drawing the bow back as far as I could pull and sacrificing accuracy as a result.  I've been practicing much between sessions and have found that, by calling on aid from my god or even by weaving the Al'Noth, I can find my mark much more often and let the bow itself do the work.  She's a pretty good teacher.  *nods as he writes this last*  

Following Jil's advice, I finally bought a horse for myself at the close of the year.  I named her formally Aelal Oileanir (Even Faith, in my father's tongue), but her stable name is simply Seccea.  *smiles*  She's a good little mare that rides much bigger than she stands.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Janra, 1447

Not a week after getting Seccea, someone fleeing trouble brought it down upon her where she was stabled behind the house in Haven Castle.  She was mortally wounded, but with careful tending and much appeal to the heavens I was able to help her recover her health;  she's as right as she ever was now and I am being extremely careful with her going forward!  Occurrences like this can bind man and beast in ways almost mystical;  she has become a steadfast comrade who gives much and asks little.  How different from the fickleness of so many bipeds.  

In early spring, I joined a party to escort a dwarven emissary back from Blackthorn to his home in the mountains.  Jaelle was present as well and absent her usual secretiveness whilst 'working' she and I again seemed more like our selves together.  This time the focus of her private collusions was the tiefling, Steel, of whom I had heard much but with whom I had not yet traveled.  As a result of their whispered plans, when things finally did come unraveled, much of the party was caught by surprise and, absent Sala Stonehill's healing intervention, I would have died.  I had some pointed words afterwards with Steel and he allowed as he only reveals his plans to those he knows and trusts (there again is that 'justification' for 'independent' action, often at the expense of others, in this case, me!).  We spoke at length outside Vehl and it was all I could do to keep a civil tongue in my head at the time.  He seemed to consider being a bit more forthcoming, at least to me, in future.  We've had some fairly unheated conversations since;  I never pass up an opportunity to learn.  

A few weeks later, I embarked on another mission, this time to Audira on Dregar.  A criminal, about to be executed, had managed to arrange for explosive devices to be secreted around the city and while we were successful in finding most of them, the prisoner did in fact escape.  Jaelle and I actually managed to work together for the most part, though things were cool afterwards.  

Just prior to those trips, I had taken Jilseponie's advice and acquired an Ilsare's Firey Eye longbow and a Shadon's Trapping shortbow. Over the course of this year, I've taken good advantage of the plentiful and powerful ammunition they each magically provide.  The flaming arrows from the Ilsarian bow, I reserve for use underground where collateral fires won't be such an issue.  The electrically charged arrows from the Shadonite bow, I use in the forests and find them to be of good effect.  The main advantage however is that I no longer need to spend so much of my time crafting all the arrows that I use up.  This has freed me to spend more time making other things I both need and use.  My alchemy skills continue to progress and I can say with some confidence that I've become quite adept at it.  I've spent a good deal of time learning to cook better (largely so I don't ruin the sandpaper I need for working with mahogany) and find myself to have become a fair baker of pies and maker of roasts.  This year, I also started to learn how to sew and have begun to fashion my own bandages (albeit rudimentary ones so far).  All in all, I have finally come to the point where most of my useables are made with my own hands, a source of no little satisfaction to me.  In fact, I managed to make my own supplementary hardware for this yew longbow and Jil was gracious enough to see to it that it got installed properly;  this is now a very formidable weapon.  I continue to learn, train, and put into practice all that Jil teaches, both of archery in specific and battle ways in general.  I try to reach for the Al'Noth as I let fly, but as yet I cannot find the key.  With more time and training I'm sure I'll grasp it, perhaps in a couple of years.  

In autumn, one Isherwood Smithson, with whom I have had some guild dealings, mentioned that his friend, Keppli, was seeking employment. I allowed as how the guild could use a shop girl to take orders and work the counter.  I proffered her name to the guild members and, while all seemed to be in agreement, nothing came of it and no mention of the resolution was made.  Management seems to be in short supply and that, coupled with no payday in the last nearly five years, will likely drive me to speak with Ben Poetr about possibly joining the Angel's guild.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Janra, 1448

At the turn of the year, I found myself answering yet another call for assistance, this time in Lyn, investigating a series of grizzly murders.  All indications pointed to the acts of a lycanthrope, but the trail ran as cold as the night by the pond where Tod Fellow and I had lay hidden in the night waiting for the suspected lycan's return.  Towards dawn, I grew impatient and began to search the shoreline waters with my hand;  feeling about in the dark, I pulled up a severed head of one of the victims.  After returning town with this ghastly trophy, I had a chat with the local bartender and discovered that the first victim's girlfriend was being pestered by one of the older townsmen, who had just left.  Phyress Sylphide (with whom I had worked before on a series of 'working girl' murders in Mariner's Hold) and I tracked him through a snowstorm to his home and, peering in the window, I noticed the man resting before his fire and saw the clear marks of large claws in the floor.  We sped back to town, given the party's suspicions of lycanthropy, and returned with the others to confront him.  Whether by rage or not, he assumed his very large lupine form and fell to the swords of Mor Eastleaf and Jako Stonehill, before any questioning could be undertaken. A search of the house, after the fact, revealed a journal, wherein he admitted to the murder's.  

On returning from that trip, I made a point of seeking out Ben Poetr and asking to be put up for consideration to the Angel's guild.  He seemed pleased at the prospect of sponsoring me and I know many of the members who I had thought would speak favorably of me.  However, just before the guild was to meet to discuss this, I was accosted on the road in Wayfare by the elf, Razerium who launched, out of the blue, a vituperative, rambling and, ceaseless tirade, in front of a group exclusively made up of Angel's guild members.  He accused me of being an aspiring necromancer, a liar, a bully, a cheat, of persecuting Amanda;  the list went on.  Those assembled tried, in vain, to defend me and to get Razerium to listen to reason but, as he went on and on, one by one they each left in disgust.  The next month, when the guild met, few would stand for my membership.  As I understand it from some of those present, Aerimor Lightbringer and his spouse, Alatriel, voiced their objections to me and worked to convince most of the others to reject my application;  their not simply using the veto power available to any Angel's member smacks of something personal and slanderous.  So, between Razerium, Aerimor, and Alatriel, my chances at changing guilds have been successfully scuttled.  Ben sent me a nice letter of rejection and we had a chat over a beer later.  The reasons he gave were all quite 'plausible' but I think he was being both polite and professional.  I also have noted that, since the guild meeting, I have had few kind words, if any, from most of my old friends in the Angel's;  gods know what was said about me or how true it was, but no one will discuss it with me.  Evidently, not content with having interfered between Amanda and I nearly a decade ago, Aerimor (and now Razerium) seems bent on stifling my relationships with others, be they personal or professional.  

My training with Jilseponie continues and I learn more with each meeting.  She has convinced me (and my experiences since back this up) to rely more and more on my bow and less on my swords, except as a defensive posture when toe-to-toe with an adversary with no avenue of retreat.  It's difficult for me to change old habits, but I'm trying.  That said, Jil's recommendation of 'shoot and move' rather than 'standing my ground' has paid off each time I've exercised it!  I've taken to committing to memory more spells to steady my hand when I go into combat but the spells just don't last long enough for the trips;  I have put it about that I'm seeking an ioun stone to remedy that problem; hopefully, one will become available soon.  I've cut the first two fingertips off the gloves that I wear on my right hand and have noticed a marked improvement in my accuracy.  I have even changed the way I draw my bow, raising up as I pull back rather than drawing down;  it is only in the last quarter of the pull when I extend my left arm fully to complete the draw.  I find this aids in holding the draw steady longer, giving me more time to aim properly without any shaking.  At the close of the year, I started training with arrows in Stormcrest to develop my bow for endless ammunition and have spent a great quantity of arrows doing so.  As time goes on though I find myself reconsidering whether I truly wish to limit myself to only one type of arrow with this marvelous bow.  Try as I might, I still cannot find the way to call on the Al'Noth as I shoot  but soon, I hope, I will master the rudiments.  

Jaelle's presence has been scarce for most of this year, with the exception of a trip we shared in Dapplegreen, trying to help some wee folk.  She took exception to being shrunk with the rest of the party and her mood got fouler from there on.  Given our lack of time spent together, I fear we are drifting inexorably apart. *sighs sadly as he writes *  Were I to get a letter now and then to let me know I still entered her thoughts, I would feel differently but it's futile to try and maintain a relationship through such long absences without any contact at all.  Perhaps things will come right again, but I think they will not, from either side.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Janra, 1449

As in previous years, much of my time has been spent crafting and answering calls for aid.  As to the crafting, I have become fairly skilled at making bandages of high potency and have managed an enchanted bag or two as well.  Notable on calls for aid were two trips.  

The first was another Toranite expedition, led by Ms Stormhaven, who was her usual snotty self to me.  When her brashness with a trapped door got not only herself slain but also some poor youngling, Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn, I could not contain myself and made a passing comment on the event, which was met with a sharp invitation from Ms Stormhaven for me to leave;  I did not.  The rest of the trip passed without fatal incidents and we were successful at undoing some Toranite magic which, while it had been well intentioned, had had deleterious side effects (why am I not surprised by that?).  

On a brighter note, Phyress Sylphide invited me to join her on a trip back to her childhood hometown to assist herself, Galathea and Fleur in rescuing her mentor who had been kidnapped by the minions of one Sashka, a bandit leader whom Phyress had apprehended and seen jailed.  The trip was long and eventful with the end result of us succeeding (barely) and upsetting Sashka's plans to activate her army of golems.  Good companions all and we seemed to work well together.  I have since heard that this Sashka has escaped and I would lend my skills to help track her down again, should I be asked.  

In the early spring of 1448, Jaelle came to me in Allurial. She told me that her feelings toward me had "mellowed into those of friendship". I was not terribly surprised and did not much challenge it for two reasons: 1) We had agreed when we started out that we would follow this road together only for as long as it led:  that if either of us said we were done, we were done and 2) Our relationship had been strained by increasing absence from each other for several years; had the desire been there, the effort would have been as well.  *shrugs a little*  I still care about both her and Aislin and hope we can remain friends, but time will tell and I shan't be the one making the only effort.  We had a good run together , she and I, for the first few years at least and I harbor no great regrets at our time together.  

A few months passed without seeing Jaelle again but we were thrown together by happenstance on a trip which involved a pair of star-crossed lovers who happened to be gelatinous cubes.  *chuckles as he writes*  One came seeking assistance from a group of us gathered in Stormcrest.  Sadly, he was slain by one of our party, which put a crimp in our investigation to say the least.  Jaelle was present and seemed friendly enough towards me and I reciprocated in kind.  There's no denying that a wall has dropped between us however and not one of my making.  

At the onset of winter, I went on a trip though Belinara with Steel, Flynn deBallard, Wren Thendor, Acacea, and Iradril.  For me, it was an unmitigated disaster as I fell not once, but thrice.  *shakes his head at his own stupidity*  I should have left after I fell the second time, but *sighs* my overdeveloped sense of manners and a complete unfamiliarity with the area (i.e.:  how to have gotten home from there) kept me from doing so;  Never again.  I will say however that both Steel and Acacea did their level best to keep me alive after the first time I fell, but the foes were too numerous/great and my less-than-bulky constitution simply cannot take that level of punishment.  Steel has offered me some guidance on how to bolster the latter with different equipment and training, and I may yet take him up on his offers.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Jular, 1449

The initial half of his year has proceeded much like the past few years, with the first quarter spent largely crafting and practicing with my longbow at the range in Stormcrest.  I have spent an obscene amount of arrows there, training in pursuit of imbuing this bow with the capacity to produce arrows on it own.  Each time I let fly there, I am careful to try and put into practice all that I have been learning in my time with Jilseponie:  from controlling my breathing, to how I draw, to how I hold myself steady whilst I aim, to how I loose.  After expending 3000 arrows, shafted in mahogany (and each made with these two hands), I have come to learn that, absent the solid practice in both archery and crafting which my time has afforded, my efforts may have been in vain;  I have found out that, were I to complete this process of imbuement, I would limit forever this magnificent bow to using those arrows alone.  * sighs heavily *  Live and learn.  

I've taken to frequenting the card room in Leringard (using a deck made for me by Jaelle, long ago) more and more and can now clip Wyatt two times out of three, which has ameliorated the dearth of payment I receive from the guild.  There, I ran into Steel there on his way to management tasks at the Arms Inn.  We got to talking more about that disastrous (for me at least) trip through Belinara and he nipped back to the Inn to retrieve a pair of Militiaman Boots, which he lent me until I can find a pair of my own.  The boots make me feel much more able to take the punishment of combat and are well appreciated by me as a result.  Steel and I spoke of other equipment I should seek out and he's offered to keep me apprised of any useful items he locates.  

In early spring, I joined a group in Krashin off to pursue a frost giant, named Jarl, who had been running amok, emerging from his caves to threaten the locals.  Backed by many of his fellows and some large canines, this Jarl proved to be formidable though we were, in fact, able to vanquish him.  I was able to use the trip to improve my application of Jil's teachings and even managed to drop one or two giants and more than a few of his hounds.  

Barely two weeks later, Sala and Jako Stonehill invited me on a romp through the Silkwood caves after spiders.  I had been there before several times (once with Drexia Faison, who encouraged me to get some special boots, which I have since made for myself) but this trip we went very deep and slayed literarily hundreds of the beasts. Again, I was able to use this excursion to continue to practice and, save for a few close quarter calls, relied on my longbow alone.  Near the bottom, we were confronted with a huge spider of a type I had never seen before.  The monstrous creature simply refused, for the longest while, to go down and though my aim seemed to be true, as was Jako's sword, there were moments went I feared we had bitten off more than we could chew.  It fell eventually but not before Sala had been forced to keep pouring potions into Jako, seemingly non-stop.  Harkening to Jil's advice, I exhibited unusually good sense by not falling back into old habits of jumping forward, sword in hand, but rather kept furiously feathering the beast until we brought it down.  Hopefully once I manage to unlock the mystery of weaving the Al'Noth into my arrows, foes like that will begin to fall more promptly.  

I chanced upon someone in Hempstead I had known long ago:  Abigail Firesteed, the daughter of our guild founder, Barion.  I had thought her long dead, but there she was, in the company of Berak, large as life.  She seemed lost and did not remember me or others at all.  We didn't speak much then though I expect I shall see her again about the guild hall, if not elsewhere.  

A third trip took place this spring, with Argali, Sallaron, Sala, Jako, and others (including Abigail and fellow aficionados of the card room in Leringard, Vrebel and Tralek as I recall) to the swamps south of Vehl.  There we ran into an individual who, other than playing a fair banjo, seemed to have the sole characteristics of having two teeth that met and the ability to hear thunder.  Sallaron seemed unusually wary of this one, for reasons that pass my understanding.  We proceeded to follow this person's direction to series of tunnels beneath his house in search of some legacy from his wizard father, which we had negotiated to split with him.  We found no legacy, but did confront a series of warded gates, one of which required each of us to speak aloud some secret which we wished no one to know before we could pass.  I hesitated but then declared that I harbored vengeance in my heart.  While I didn't name names (and will not, even here) I am beginning to think that I might find some synergy in the objects of that vengeance (disparate though they are), based on a conversation I overheard in Hempstead a few years back.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Augra, 1449

At the end of last month, I ran into Ni'Haer (a dark elf I had met once or twice before).  Though he makes great efforts to appear shady, I think he's more or less benign so, when he asked me to make him a large quantity of wand staves (24), I agreed.  I asked for a Stoneskin wand for myself (for emergencies) and a quantity of topaz dust (I've been historically thrifty with my own Stoneskin weavings, as I cannot get topaz on my own).  He made mention of using the wands he would make to supply his 'army', though I discount that as another attempt on his part to appear sinister;  my guess is he is only making them for practice and will likely pawn those he doesn't sell.  I will say that he was more than generous in the 130 odd pinches of topaz dust he paid along with the wand I requested.  

A week later, I met up with Phyress Sylphide and Ni'haer in Spellgard and Ni'Haer took us to a halfling village deep in the Spirit dunes that I had no knowledge even existed.  After inspecting the town and taking note of the vendors present for future needs, we proceeded from there further into the desert through steep walled canyons to explore and battled deadly cobras of a type I had never seen, as well as ghosts of some sort and a few sand elementals.  Try as I might (and I had called on divine aid to help my aim), I could hit the cobras very infrequently;  Phyress, who is also one to rely on quickness and agility in her fighting, had a similar difficulty.  I really need to get my hands on that ioun stone!  However, we managed to leave with our skins still on, a good deal wiser for the experience.  

On returning from the trip, I saw a notice by Phyress for a box of iron arrowheads and, as I has spent a good deal of arrows against the golems on our trip to rescue her mentor last summer, I met up with her and bought them at what turned out to be a very reasonable price.  There's more points there than I'll likely be able to use, but  *shrugs*  I'm sure I can resell the surplus.  In any event, during the course of that exchange we spoke some about battle styles and armour;  she also suggested that there would likely be an upcoming expedition to try and recapture Sashka who, after being moved to Hlint (of all places), had escaped.  I look forward to traveling with her and the others again.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Seplar, 1449

I contacted Timulty Keel regarding an earlier discussion we had had for him to make me a Circlet of the Confidante, and then headed out to start collecting some of the materials needed for it.  My experiences in trying to winkle information out of Sashka (and others) have made it clear that I could well use some help in 'convincing' those I find myself questioning that I can be trusted with the information which they have and that I seek.  This circlet will go some distance to helping me achieve those ends.  

Returning to Hampstead, I came upon Lance and Abigail in the guild hall in the company of Drexia Faison and a tall elven woman I had met a few times before, Darthirae.  They invited me to join them on an excursion to Dregar for fire opals but I, sadly, had to decline as I needed sleep badly.  I hope I get the opportunity to travel with them another time soon as they are good company, each of them.  Darthirae herself is a bit ... formal in her speech but, as I know from previous conversations with her, she shares both my interest in operational and political information and my frustration at how many have compartmentalized pieces of it that they hoard like misers and with which they do little.  

After they left, I took, from the guild inventory, a fine diamond (which, given that I haven't been paid in many years, I don't feel the least shy about taking) and a pair of essences (which I will, in fact, replace) and arranged to meet Timulty in Hlint.  After I handed over the diamond and essences, we negotiated a decent price and he went off to make the circlet, returning directly with the finished product in hand;  it's always a pleasure to do business with someone who is exactly who he purports to be.  I look forward to trying this circlet out soon.  Perhaps when I travel with Phyress and company, I'll get a chance to employ it in interviewing Sashka again.  I'm thinking a few evenings fleecing Wyatt in Leringard should cover the cost.  *grins*  

[Cinnabar]

~ Seplar, 1449

Having clipped Wyatt for full cash cost of Tim's circlet (I was on fire and won 90 percent of the hands  *smirks a little*  ), I set out on my biennial gathering of corn , thence eggs, as rent on my rooms in Haven Castle.  Four or five loops (I frankly lost count) on the circuit from just outside Prantz, to Wayfare, the Path to the Ire Mountains and Vehl, managed the requisite box of eggs.  I took Seccea this time and her speed made the burden of the trips much lighter.  Regarding chickens however, Folian forgive me but, of all His creatures, they are some of my least favorite:  demanding, filthy, and loud.  

Each loop on my circuit, as I passed Stormcrest, I took a few hours to practice my shooting at the archery range there.  I'm finding that, as my skills improve, I can afford more effort in trying to tap into the Al'Noth as I loose each arrow.  Without having to consciously pay as much attention to the actual shot itself now, I can feel myself getting closer and closer to grasping how it's done, though it still eludes me.  

I had an interesting discussion with my guild brother, Lance Stargazer, between loops at one point;  I had stopped in at the shop to show him the circlet which the diamond had, in part, bought.  In explaining my desire for the help that the circlet will bring, I allowed as how, while I'm not above using force to extract information should charm or reason be ill advised, I'd much prefer to use a believable threat of force to achieve the same end.  As I told him:  "Why have things get messy if you don't need to?".  What was surprising to me was that Lance seemed to understand this;  he gets more complex with each passing year.  *smiles as he writes*  In some ways, part of me is content with how my application to the Angel's ended up (though the way it was manipulated still galls me greatly), as I would have hated to see the look of disappointment in Lance's eyes had I left the Orc Bashers.  The other members not so much but Lance has been a true friend through thick and thin, these many years.  At such time as I write a will, it will either be Lance or Hedessa whom I ask to serve as its executor.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Oclar, 1449

I ran into Uwe Yewheart last week in Wayfare, after not having seen her in some time.  She mentioned that she's looking to upgrade her armour and I told her that the guild could likely fill her needs.  But, like so many potential customers who have approached me over the years, she is unsure of precisely what she a) wants, b) can afford, and c) can actually wear.  I did some research among the inventory in stock but could find nothing that met her general expectations.  

I've resolved to try and make a go of my membership in the Orc Bashers, but there exists this mindset within the guild of "tell me what type of armour (or whatever) is wanted and we'll make it", which falls short of helping customers decide to part with their hard-earned trues in my view.  Why can they not see that this may be the main reason that much of our potential business ends up seeking satisfaction elsewhere?  Would there to exist a comprehensive list of all that can be made, not just one of what we generally make or have made, I'm convinced that our business would be able to be grown again and we could get back to better times as we had experienced when Barion was alive.  But to date, other than Lance and Abigail, few other members have ever even recognized me as part of the guild, making the chances of my voice being heard extremely small.  Perhaps I'll recommend a guild meeting and see where that leads.  Maybe then I'll also finally hear what happened with the offers of membership that I thought had been extended to Keppli and Maran.  

The Tower Academy in Hempstead is finally holding its grand opening at the beginning of next month (along with an inaugural masquerade ball) but, after years of waiting for things to come together, I likely wont be attending these events.  There is a provinciality to those influential in the world that I find discouraging;  * sighs as he re-reads the preceding paragraph *  people seemingly more focused on their 'turf' than the prompt advancement of some project or attainment of some goal.  In the many years which have passed since I first joined with Timulty, Storold, and a few others during the initial planning stages of the Tower, the project has languished to the point that now, when it's finally opening, my focus must be on my archery for some years to come.  Who knows, a year or so down the road, I may take a look at it again.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Novlar, 1449

Abigail has posted a notice in the guild hall for a guild picnic sometime next year.  With any luck, the attendance will be robust enough for me to consider bringing up some issues for the guild to address, to our general betterment.  We shall see.  I've been asked to make a set of keys for Maran;  evidently he has been brought into the guild, finally.  No word still about Keppli but, with Abigail's return that may now be a moot point anyway.  I still think better communications are needed here.  

Beli Stonewell has also proposed that the guild band together to make a very large quantity of bolts (100,000) and perhaps crossbows for the defense of Mistone.  I believe I can contribute well to this effort and possibly help steer its direction.  There seems to be some confusion regarding bolt heads and wood on which I have views that I think I can share.  The archer in me is disappointed that this effort will be for crossbowmen but I well understand the value of crossbows in the hands of the untrained;  time is of the essence in this and the continent can simply not afford to wait years for true archers to be grown.  I will see if there is some way I can also help with the training of these young crossbowmen , once these supplies are delivered;  some of the principles of archery do, in fact, cross over.  

I continue to practice my own archery when and as I can.  Each time I try to touch the Al'Noth at the moment of release, I fell myself closer to grasping it.  I still contend that it's the facility with which I can now exercise the mechanics of the shot itself that permits this.  I am still hopeful and should be meeting again with Jilseponie soon.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Decilar, 1449

I used some of the iron points I bought from Phyress this summer to replace a few hundred arrows for use against golems.  Good tinkering on her part, as these points look like they'll hold a proper edge.  

I also was asked by Lance to knock out a couple of oak short bows to replenish the shop inventory;  with new people coming up all the time, no doubt Warrant Officer Kit in Haven will be asking for more of these.  It was good to have the feel of freshly turned oak in my hands again, working the sandpaper to smooth them to near perfection.  It's nice when all those years of practice pay off and I'm able to finish a task like this effortlessly and to actually enjoy the working of the wood.  A quick trip with Seccea up to the Whitehorn yielded enough oak to replace what I used and more to the guild hall.  

I did notice when I put the finished bows in the shop chests that someone had made 17 oak long bows.  * rolls his eyes *  I can well understand the need for practice, but really, perhaps some of those would have been better pawned to save space.  Once again, communications seems to be a sticking point among the guild membership.  

While helping Lance a bit with inventory in the shop, I noticed that we are absent third tier enchantments for weapons.  I'll see if I can go to the Wolfswood soon after some coal to aid in that effort, so Maran, who evidently has been brought in as a member, can have something to work with.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Decilar, 1449

I took my first trip with Bessie this year, answering a call from the guild for clay;  he's a patient ox, which is saying something.  * smiles to himself *  Between the two of us, we managed to haul back a load and a half to the guild hall, filling one crate and making a great deal of ring molds for Maran to work with.  I still plan to go into the cave in the Wolfswood after coal to make crystal rods for Maran, but am considering waiting until I have mastered the art of tapping into the Al'Noth as I shoot before I attempt it again, on my own.  

I took some time on that journey to continue training with my longbow, this time by way of fishing.  I have never fished with a pole and every time I conscientiously apply the lessons I've learned from Jilseponie, I am well rewarded with success.  It was Jil that got me to understand better the concepts of surface refraction and how fish can see out, much as I can see into the water.  As a result, for years now, I have taken to approaching the bank under either stealth or the shroud of invisibility and have noticed that I can catch them unawares each time I do so.  That, coupled with the steadier hand I now possess as a result of Jil's guidance, yields me a solid catch almost every time!  Between my fishing, hunting, and cooking, I'm proud to say that I haven't eaten a store bought meal in well over a decade.  A small point to some but, for me, a point of great satisfaction.  I still aspire to be able to (at least) make everything I regularly use or wear.  

I've received word from Phyress that an expedition to go after Sashka is indeed planned for next month and have agreed to make every effort to join her, Fleur, and perhaps others in that endeavor.  Sashka is a real viper in my view and the sooner she's recaptured or killed, the better off for everyone.  I have  no idea if she still has designs to 'activate' that golem army of hers but we shall see;  hopefully we can interdict her before she gets the chance.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Janra, 1450

I went fishing up by the Lake of Glass early in the year.  I spent some time between catches sitting and reflecting over the past year:  Razerium, the Angel's, Jaelle, the lot.  Having passed yet another New Years without any pause, I think I shall set a new course for myself, starting with taking time at the advent of Spring to travel to the Temple in the Forest of Fog and pray for balance in my life.  I'm finding that I'm happiest when on my own in the forest and perhaps am discovering that I'm just not cut out for the company of others, save when engaged in some task or project.  It's sad, but there it is; perhaps prayer will shed some light on this.  

The expedition to chase down Sashka seems to have been delayed a month or so;  I only hope the trail hasn't gone completely cold by the time we convene in Mariner's Hold.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Febra, 1450

I made yet another run for the guild to dig clay up by Lake Allun. After clearing all the deposits (and having a chat with the resident skunk there), I was jumped by a kobold while loading up Bessie's pack behind the woods.  Evidently he had been sent ahead as a scout as, when I poked my head around the corner after dispatching him, I saw the entire clan advancing well out of their camp there.  A quick fireball and a few well placed arrows put an end to any threat and, when I turned to go, I found more clay deposits waiting to be gleaned.  We returned to Hempstead laden with what amounted to more than two ox-loads!  

At the guild hall, I ran into Abigail Firesteed again.  Whether she actually remembers me or not, she does see me now, at least, as a fellow archer.  We spoke at some length about the qualities of the various types of arrowheads and which ones would be suitable for this arming of Mistone project that the guild has undertaken.  She pointed out that she thought platinum points would be of some value against drachs;  I wonder if it would be mithril points that would be required, drachs being derived from dragons.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Mar, 1450

I met with Jilseponie again at the end of last month.  We spoke for most of the day, with me asking question after question.  As usual, she was patient, informative, and not shy of saying she didn't know on the rare occasions when that was the case.  We spoke of the proper arrowheads for use against drachs in the impending invasion, though the mithril will be almost impossible to come by.  She recommended both the spells 'Ghostly Visage' and 'Displacement' as sound ways to keep me safer.  She suggested that while the spell 'True Strike' can, in fact, be a benefit to archers, I would be better served by using the Seeker arrow that I should be able to invoke someday instead.  She recommended that I acquire a second yew wood longbow, this time with compound cams as well as the hardware to increase it's striking force;  I shall look into that in the very near future.  I will likely also follow her example and stock up on the best arrows I can make, enchanting them with elemental rods.  

She left me with the following thought regarding my attempts to weave the Al'Noth into my archery:  Patience and perseverance will win out and, once it does, it will be like a floodgate opening.  Good advice and I'm encouraged.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Mai, 1450

It has finally happened!  On a trip to Dregar, near Fort Laer, I was with my friend Alassir Vil'Drazzic, hunting mychonids.  As I drew back my bow, I cleared my mind and tried once again to tap into the Al'Noth.  As I let fly, a sudden tingle came over me and I saw my arrow strike with new force!  It was the proudest moment I've experienced in an awfully long time.  Jilseponie was right:  patience and perseverance have indeed won out and I feel so very empowered and oddly humbled at the same time.  I hope she is equally correct in her prediction that the floodgates will indeed now open for me;  I am so very tired of having to walk carefully as I struggled to learn this new art.  

[Cinnabar]

~ Junar, 1450

Spring has come and gone and I have yet to make the time for my pilgrimage to the Temple in the Forest of Fog.  I still intend to do so, but I have, to date, allowed my studies to take precedence, for reasons I hope that Folian will understand.  I still intend to make the trip and will seek forgiveness there as I seek answers to the direction my life should now be taking, in prayer.  

At the start of this month, I had met Jaelle by chance in the crafting hall in Hempstead, where she told me that she had sold her house in Haft Lake, in favor of one in Leringard (which we had visited together a few times  * smiles fondly, recalling the occasions there *).  She intimated that it was still on the market, so I found myself going to Prantz to see if it indeed was.  The price asked for it was well beyond my means but there was also a more reasonably priced burm home for sale, also in Haft Lake.  With much of my modest wealth tied up in an investment with Arkolio Salvorre, I was short of ready funds for even that.  On a whim, I sought out Jaelle again at her Leringard home to ask if she might front me some cash, until I could liquidate part of my investment with Arkolio.  She not only agreed to help, but we had our first real talk together since she and I parted ways.  She seems alive with happiness and has found a new love, who I would guess is at least part of the catalyst for her renewed vibrant spirit;  in the decades that I have known her, I've never seen her so bright.  I was so very happy for her and told her as much;  I only hope she knows that I was in heartfelt earnest.  If ever there was someone who needed (and deserved) to be loved, truly loved, it is Jaelle.  As doomed as she and I were as lovers (and we both knew it from the start), I can't help still feeling deep and lasting friendship for this woman, the only one (save perhaps Delyth) that ever tried to see me for who I really am.  

After a trip back to the card room in Leringard to acquire the additional several thousand true required above the list price (for 'insurance' of all things), I returned to Prantz and bought the burm house outright.  I am now the proud owner of my own home, though one much larger than I'd wanted (and in a location that reeks of dark childhood memories from the coming of Rael * spits to the side as he usually does whenever that name crosses his lips or flows out of his quill *).  I am thinking of trying to trade down a bit and recover some of my investment there but, failing that, I will think seriously about remodeling it more to my liking;  I might even seek Jaelle's guidance in that, seeing the stunning job she has done with her own home in Leringard.