Yo ho, YO HO! A Private life for me!

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*You are starting to a pattern with the last few scrolls that you found. Each one of the scrolls you've read recentlt have been in the same, worn and torn, condition, and you being to wonder what the condition of the author was at the time he wrote them.* [INDENT]It's getting worse....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I almost broke down today.... I was standing in the courtyard by the Crimson Eagle memorial in Port Hempstead with Val, looking for some people to go wander the wilds with when Kinai, out of nowhere, creeps up from behind me... Then some dwarf mentions that a lil girled died recently from poison and it started....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I feel to my knees, shivering to the bone like a man trapped in a blizzard, pressing my hands against my ears, trying to keep from hearing anymore and muttering to myself in hopes of keeping the blood from my eyes.... but it came...[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I watched as the lil moat surround the memorial turn from water to blood.... BLOOD! It seemed to swell, like the tide creeping up the beach, right towards me.... I couldn't look away... Val even shock me and tried to tell me nothing was there BUT IT WAS! I SAW IT! It was red, and thick and washing over everything on its path to drown me.....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]Then the Gnolls came... Hundreds of them.... Creeping from the shadows coming for me, giggling with laughter as they moved in to add my blood to the tide....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]Then all of a sudden it was gone.... I heard Tegan mutter some spell behind me and it was gone.... [/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]But I saw them... I saw it.....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]It's begun to come even when I'm awake now.... I see lil drops of blood everywhere now.... I try not to pay attention to them.... I try not to even look at them.... but they are there.... I SEE THEM! And when I wake from the little sleep I get it's there.... A huge crimson wave of Death rising from the ground like the sapphire waves of the sea to swallow me in blood.... I have to SCREAM to myself to remind me its not real... only then does it go away.... And in sleep it's worse... it is no longer a bloody field that I wallow through, but a sea of blood through which I must wade.... with the bodies of loved ones floating in it like flotsam and jetsom.... And then I see my mother.... and those eyes.....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]STOP LOOKING AT ME! I CAN'T SAVE YOU![/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]Why can't I dream of Val anymore..... why can't my nights be filled with visions of my love alive and well instead of the dead..... What must I do.... How do I make the Blood go away....[/INDENT]
 
*There is a large space inbetween the two sections, as if the author came back later to write more* [INDENT]I hate Tadhg![/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]He told Val about Rose..... SO WHAT! I'm nice to all woman.... It happens when yer affectionate.... So I gave her some flowers... who cares.... It's Val that I love... It's Val I care about and it's Val that I will always be faithful to. You're not taking Val from me Tad.... [INDENT]She's mine... [INDENT]My own......... [INDENT]My Precious Gem......[/INDENT]
 
[/INDENT][/INDENT]Thank you Beryl.......
 
[/INDENT]*there are a few warped blotches around this part of the paper, seemingly from what, and you sumise that the author must have started to cry* [INDENT]Val got so mad..... I get scared when she gets mad.... I feel so worthless and stupid.... I do all I can to make her happy, and we do love eachother, but whenever I do something stupid just.....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I messed up again.... This had nothing to do with Rose... I keep trying to get Val to sleep with me.... And she doesn't want to.... [/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I didn't understand until today... I always thought she was playing hard to get, or being a tease.... I thought she didn't want to rush things like she did with Jackson.... But thats not it... She just doesn't want to.... yet.... She wants to be married first.... She wants to know the man she lays with IS the one that will love her forever.....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]Damned my hands! Its not finished yet! Why can't I finish it.... why can't I set it right.... WHY!? Beryl, is this some kind of test? You send me a jewel of a woman but I can't even set one freaking gem for her ring! And the amulet.... Gah! So many gems have I scratched and ruined trying to learn how to properly make her one.... And the few I did set right are nothing compared to the first one I gave her....[/INDENT]
 
 
 [INDENT]I want to finish them... I try everychance I get to learn how to do it for her.... [INDENT]Maybe when the blood goes away I can finish them.... [INDENT]Maybe then I can ask her.......[/INDENT]
 
[/INDENT][/INDENT]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*When you find two folded letters in fairly good condition, you are surprised that they were stuff along side the worn and torn scrolls you found before.  You open each up, and notice they are each addressed to different people, Kinai Kinsei and Valmara Dormin.  You get the feeling the one addressed to Val might be to sappy to read first, so you put it down and open up the one addressed to Kinai first*
[INDENT]To Kin,

I don't know why I'm writing you this, but since you seem to be having troubled like mine, I thought you might be someone who could help me understand my troubles.

Me and Val are having trouble couping with my Nightmares and be together at the same time.  I can't concentrate on what she tells me since I'm so distracted by the Blood that I can't seem to avoid upsetting her....  Could you talk to her a bit for me?  Maybe just try to help her understand whats happening to me?

I talked to Ozy last night...  well more like asked him a question and got a barrage of answers at me....  But one thing he said makes me think.  He said I might be cursed...  By what I have no idea, but he said it could be something I carry with me all the time, or a nasty spell....  Maybe even a evil spirit thing that is bent on driving me insane...  But what could I be carrying....  Maybe you can think of it....  I can't think...

I need more of your grape juice.....   I'm running out....  I need the kind you said you could make for me....  The kind that tastes like wine....  I'm getting this itch to find Kalin and get my wine back....  Please?  Just a few bottles...  I can't let myself succumb to the wine...  Val would be so mad...

Val talked me into taking a break from fighting...  I'm gonna hang up Vicious for as long as I can, or at least when I can...  I still need to pay my rent...  Maybe it will keep the haunts at bay....  Maybe not...  But I want to try for Val...  At least until I can clear my mind of this....  whatever it is...

Could you talk to Hawklen for me?  As much as I don't want to...  I need to talk to him....  I need to talk to priests about this....  Maybe they can sense something I can't.   I'm gonna talk to Talia too, and a Berylite priest I know as well...

Help me Kinai...  I need help...  Val tires but she's only a fighter like me, and we don't know what to do anymore....

Shiff Dragonheart
[/INDENT]*You put this one down and pick up the one Addressed to Valmara, and you're suprised its not all lovey dovey, but serious*
[INDENT]To my Precious Gem, Valmara,

I talked with Talia after our...  discussion....  she said you wanted me to.  It's been so hard for me to listen to you since Haven, since I spend more time distracted and scared of the Blood then I do listening to you anymore...

She took me somewhere calm though...  I was even be able to relax...  I wish you came with me...  I might have even slept...

She told me what I've been doing to you...  How I keep coming across as trying to want to sleep with you...  I'm such a fool.  I never think about how what I say or do will sound like to you...  I hope you can believe me when I say I don't mean to be that way, and that I understand how you feel perfectly now....  I don't mean to hurt you...  But I wanted you to know something....  When I say "I need you so I can sleep", or when I talk about the room I rented I Leringard, I'm not trying to bed you...  When you are near me, and we are enjoying each other's company...  My mind is at ease....  The Blood goes way...  And I can sleep....  When you sit by my bed and just sit with me...  I can sleep...  And when you rub my back and sing that old song to me...  I can sleep...  I don't want you to think I'm trying yo bed you....  I'm just trying to show you how much you mean to me....  please understand...

I talked to Ozy last night after I met with Talia...  well more like asked him a question and got a barrage of answers at me....  But one thing he said makes me think.  He said I might be cursed...  By what I have no idea, but he said it could be something I carry with me all the time, or a nasty spell....  Maybe even a evil spirit thing that is bent on driving me insane...  But what could I be carrying....  Maybe you can think of it....  I can't think of anything......   Unless....

Unless its that Head?  I took the head of the Gnoll that killed the little girl....  I still have it....  I carry it everywhere......  Could that be it?  Could those Gnolls be really trying to get me?!  I can't get rid of it if I'm right....  If I lose it I may be cursed forever....  Please don't try to take it from me....

I'm going to talk to Talia again...  And Starr too...  Maybe even Kinai's Friend Hawklin in hopes finding if I AM cursed...  I might even talk to Tegan too....  She's smart...  She's probably seen this before....  

I love you Val...  Each night I pray to Beryl that you will be there bring the shining light of love to me when I awake and for her to protect you...   I need your love to keep me strong now...  I hope we can see each other again soon...  I just want to spend some time with you like we used to....

Write back?  A letter from you would be like a impenetrable shield against the darkness of my dreams....  I love you Val...  May Beryl's light always shine brightly in your heart....

Your Beau,
~Shiff[/INDENT]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*you find another letter among the worn and torn scrolls.  This one is also addressed to Valmara.  It's still appears to be sealed, as if he never sent it, but as soon as you touch it the seal crumbles, and you are not sure if he did send it or not.  Regardless, the letter is now open and you start reading it*[INDENT]To my Precious Gem, Valmara,

I've missed you the past few weeks, and it's been hard getting to sleep at night not knowing where you are.  Talia said you needed some time to yourself to think about things, so I won't be trying you find you or anything...  Just come back to me when all is better....

The dreams have changed...  Its no longer just blood that I see at night...  It's also not just blood I see in my waking hours either...

A few weeks ago, I was in Dregar with a few people, mining gems and such all over the place...  I hadn't slept in a few days, and I had to face trolls and giants and ogres...  Nothing new...  but when we got to Dalanthar....  I couldn't stay awake any longer....

I must have fallen asleep in the street, but I remember standing in some cave filled with an eerie green fog...  I had no idea where I was...  I couldn't even recognize it, but then from nowhere comes THAT Gnoll...  The very same one whose head I carry around....  I was so enraged...  But I couldn't do anything...  Then I end up somewhere else...

There I saw you and that lil girl, standing there smiling at me...  So happy to see me...  With the Gnoll laughing behind you...  You didn't even see it coming.....

He killed you both as I stood there helpless...  All over again....  I couldn't even move....  then all of a sudden I'm fighting the Gnoll, all alone...  Standing over you're dead bodies as I try to avenge you in my dream...  

I woke up then...  screaming and swing my sword....  There was people everywhere staring at me...

I hope you come home soon...  I don't know how it happen, but I seem to have adopted a lil sister recently...  I met this lady in Hempstead the other day named Amireana who Emwonk (the little blue guy that talks funny) seems to have a thing for, and spent the day travelling about with them two.  Seems like Emwonk really likes Ami, cause he tried to propose to her...  Ami got all flustered and had to leave, and I had to explain how those things work to Emwonk....  What a headache that was....  It was a good thing I had a gnomish inventor as a teacher at the Temple, or I never would understood how to explain to Emwonk how love works in words he could understand...  Anyway, I got Em to tell Ami how he feels and how he isn't gonna be all pushy (he's worse then me) and Ami thanked me...  She said I was like a big brother to her for helpin her with Em, and it kinda stuck.  So I can her Lil Sis and she calls me Big Brother...  It's cute... and its nice tah have someone to talk to when yer not around.  Last night me and her even talked about how our lives have been a mess lately...  I hope you like her when you meet her, she wants to get to know you.  Come home back soon, and be safe wherever you are...  I hope this letter finds you in good health and such.  I hope it finds you at all...

I love you wit all my heart Val,
Shiff
 xx[/INDENT]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*you find another letter among the worn and torn scrolls. This one is also addressed to Valmara.  There is no seal on this one, just a loop of thread holding the letter closed.  You remove the loop and unfold the letter.*[INDENT]To My Dearest Val,

It's been a few months since that day in Haven...  It still plagues my mind, and its hard some times when you are not here.  The nightmares and visions come, and I pray that I will see you and I will be saved.  But you have been gone for so long.  My heart aches for your return Val, but I am not so weak as my writing my make it seem.  I have been staying strong for you, and I do not so easily show my weariness anylonger.  I have been able to keep off the ale since you left, and I have been doing my best to keep our friends safe while you are away.  I have been doing my work as a jeweler more and more lately, and I even made some amazing copper rings I hope to show you when you come home.

Its very hard though to sleep.  I often just collapse somewhere and close my eyes, prefering the nightmares to the pain my body is in from not resting, only to toss and turn for hours.  The few times I am able to sleep, its the same....  More Blood....  More Gnolls....

I trust this letter gets to you in one piece.  So many of our friends, Talia and Ariel and even Kinai, have wondered where you have gone.  Even our old friend Lino (the Halfling we used to torment about eating them) was looking for you.  We all miss you Val, I most of all.  Please come back soon.  Just seeing you would mean the world to me now.

Your lonely Love,
Shiff
[/INDENT] *You notice an interesting letter sitting just below where this last one was.  It's written in a curly and flowing script, and is quiet obviously not written by the same person as all these other papers have been written in.  You look at it, thinking about whether or not you want to read it.  In big curly letters on the back of the letter it reads "To Shiffy, From Kin Kin"*

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*you find another scroll beside the assortment of letters you just found.  Its tarnished like the others, but this one lacks the curious stains of the others.*
[INDENT]I never thought I'd say it, but Kinai does seem to have a brain inside that head of hers.  I spent a day with her and some others running around Dregar for Gods know what reason...  but she mentioned she found out something about what my dreams could mean in the process.

Anyway, after all the runnin around on Dregar, I go back to Leringard with Talia to give her a suit of armor so she can fight with the Adamantium Heavy Mace I gave her a few days before, and then me and her go to Port Hempstead so she can change the look of it.  Well out of the shadows pops Kinai.  Just what I needed, something ELSE popping out of the shadows at me....  It's hard enough to concentrate on things I do with these phantom Gnolls stalking me, I don't need the very REAL Kin Kin to be popping out of them too.

She doesn't even wait for Talia to get to work on her armor, she just starts askin me questions like "Are the nightmares recurring?" and "Do the Gnolls come to your dreams?"  All questions I thought she knew the answers to, but I told her again anyway.  I can't get help if I'm stubborn...  Pyyran taught me that much...

She then started telling me how my mind remembers details of things that we don't remember...  I don't know what that means but Kinai made it make sense...  

She then started talking about the "points" or "aspects" of my dreams...  She started with the death and destruction that seems to plague it...  She said the destruction is supposed to symbolize something not going the way I wanted it in life...  There seem to be a lot of those in life these days...  She then said the death represents a change in the relationship with the person thats dying...  But in my dreams everyone dies, I can't be changing that much....  But who knows..
.
The next thing shes starts going on about is the sea of blood.  She almost lost me here...  She started talking about how the see can represent my emotions, or that it can represent somethin I'm not "seeing."

Whatever it is thats haunting me...  I have to face it...  It seems Prantz is where I have to start....  Everyone seems to tell me its my past thats the cause of all this...

I haven't been to Prantz for any longer then a day since I left all those years ago...  Only as a stop between Hurm and home...  But maybe there is something left...  Something I haven't finished....  Whatever it is, I have to find it and face it........


[/INDENT]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

*you suddenly realize that there is almost nothing left in the scroll case.  You find two more scrolls left  among a handful of bills, notes, doodles and flyers.  One seems to be a copy of a letter, the other, a the last entry to a journal.  You gently place all the scrolls and letter you have read since finding the case back into the box neatly, then sit back to finish the last bits of writing*[INDENT]Dear Galin and Tania,

       I want to first thank you for getting hold of me.  I had always thought I had lost the only family I had when Mom and Dad died.  It's a comfort to know that you both care for me.  Seeing Mom and Dad's grave though. . . I had hoped I would never have to, but I feel better, having finally been able say goodbye.
      Although I will not blame you if you never wish to speak to me again. . .  I failed you both by letting those mercenaries capture you, and I failed my friends by letting the mercenaries harm them all when I could not negotiate your release. . .  I even failed Valmara...  My Love...  I did not get the chance to tell you. . .  But we are to be wed, if she'll still have me. . .  I truly feel I do not deserve her, not anymore, but I love her so.  I will do my best to to keep her happy, for that is all I think I can do anymore. . .  I am going to be concentrating on my trade more then ever now, only lifting my sword to. . .  Well, only if I have to. . .  I hope that you both will come to our wedding.  You are some of the only family I have left, besides Valmara and Amireana, and it would mean a great deal to both me and Valmara if you came.
      Please try to keep in touch with me.  You are the last link to my past and the family I once had

Shiff Dragonheart
[/INDENT]*after finishing the letter you unroll the scroll*[INDENT]Sleep...

One night without nightmares...  Thats what I've had so far...  I can't say for sure if I'll ever be truly rid of them, but I can finally sleep.  Each time I close my eyes now, I will be taking the risk of falling into the nightmares again...  But I also have the chance to dream again...  To dream of my sweet Love...  Oh how I hope she'll still have me as her husband...  I feel like I don't deserve her anymore...  I ran like a coward from her assailants and left her to die...  Then had to beg our assailants for all our lives...  Including the lives of my God Parents...  I just couldn't take the sight of her falling...  I...  

I can't stand wielding Vicious anymore.  I feel so unworthy to hold her now...  Such a fine sword...  Such a worthless swordsman...  Cole would be ashamed to have me as an admirer...  I can't even call myself a Striker...  I don't deserve the title...

This is the last thing I'm putting in the box Valmara gave me so long ago.  It represents a side of me that no longer exists, and I can't keep stuffing parts of my life into it anymore.  I need to find something new...  Something else...  That Damned Mercenary is dead...  and I don't see him returning...  Valmara...  I'm sorry...  All thats left is a Damned Fool...
[/INDENT]*you suddenly feel as if someone is watching you, and as you look over your shoulder, you find a man standing behind you garbed in a leather surcoat over an old Toranite Style Tunic.  A dark blue cloak rests on his shoulders, and a large, vicious looking sword is strapped across his back.  A dark hood hids his face, and his gloved fists are clenched.  You scramble to stuff the last two scrolls back into the box.  As you turn back to look at his he remains quite, and steps past you and picks the box up, along with a series of bags and packs that were hidden behind a nearby dune.*
[INDENT]"The next time you want to learn about a mans past, ask him.  The next time you want to face death, screw with it."
[/INDENT]*He walks off.  You just met Shiff*