Ketzia's Journey

[Imperious]

The First Night

By the time she had made it to Hlint, Ketzia was tired, sore, hungry and thinking seriously about giving up…about going back to the merchant and just giving up….

But it was the dream that had kept her going…the random dream – although she could now hardly call it random – about dragons and a great war and her role to play in it. Which on the face of it was quite laughable, since she her greatest skill was roasting rabbit on a skewer. Sure, Masul, Garron, Thomas and Alton had taught her the basics of fighting, but no more…And they were all…gone…now

…best not to think about it, although she knew herself better...

So a dragon in a dream had decided that she, somehow, might have a role to play. She knew it was crazy to base life decisions on a dream like that, or on any dream for that matter. But that knowledge – the slightest possibility that somehow there was something for her to be, to do – to become – had kept her going.  And with a little luck, and her strange but growing ability to survive the stickiest situations, she had finally arrived in Hlint.

While the dream had been perplexing, it paled in comparison to the reception she received when she arrived in the small, but constantly bustling town. Instead of the hard stares and awkward shuffling of feet she had received in other places, people had greeted her immediately…had actually smiled at her…asked what they could do to help.

Which, as nice as it was, made Ketzia feel quite awkward because…well…she felt awkward at the attention.  She had never been good at social situations...she always been far more happy working or rough-housing with the stable boys. And now these imposing men in their grand suits of armor were smiling at her and saying “milady.” Which she couldn't imagine they were actually referring to her. And the women – they all looked the equal (and many the better of) the men. But she had done all right – hadn’t annoyed anybody, and hadn’t tripped over her own feet….yet – and had actually ended up having a good time, all the while looking apprehensively into the shadows to find the men that she knew -- knew for sure -- would show up one day.

Her first night – what a time!  A very nice gentleman had given her a suit of armor, seeing that hers was so beat up it was just about falling off. And that very nice couple – blast, she could not remember their names! – had actually gotten engaged right before her eyes at the inn. She had thought it was a joke at first – perhaps it was – although they looked right enough in love.  Ketzia, who had never had been in such a relationship, instantly felt jealous….

Even the ending, however strange, had been memorable.  She had been accosted – was that the right word? she thought – by the strange elf with the eternal cough, and he had immediately sensed something about her past. She was instantly upset with him – and upset with herself for reacting that way – although later he would apologize and she would leave with the sense that it would not be such a bad thing to run into him again…an oddly kindred soul, perhaps?

She had seen more generosity in a couple of hours that night than her entire journey.  For once, her heart felt not so heavy. That indeed there were possibilities. That her past need not catch up with her for at least one night.

And with that thought, she had fallen into the deepest sleep she had experienced for many a night…

[Imperious]

They were about as different as two people could be….perhaps this was why they had fast become good friends.

Ketzia had just been walking out of the Wild Surge, wondering what she might do now that she was in Hlint while trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible.  There had been a throng of people outside the Inn at the time, talking about some quest or another – Ketzia had found it difficult to keep it all straight. As typical, she had made it through the mob while keeping her eyes down, working very hard not to meet anyone’s gaze or having to talk to anyone.

And in doing so, had run right into Kimiko, which had been embarrassing enough and made Ketzia blush.  And then to see the outfit (or as Ketzia was fond of saying, lack of an outfit) that Kimiko had on…well, that just made her blush even more.

But in typical Kimiko fashion, she had thought nothing of it and simply introduced herself and wondered if Ketzia wanted to talk…Talk?...It was not the sort of thing anyone had ever asked her before. Talk to Ketzia….why?  But for some reason, Ketzia had agreed.

And so they had, talking for a good long time. And eventually, remembering that she had promised Florah, the tax accountant of Hlint, that she would try to find the missing tax records, Ketzia had asked Kimiko to join her. And together with a couple of others, they had indeed located the records, defeating the Rat Man – she shuddered even now at his memory – in his lair in the sewers.

Not that Ketzia had been very heroic…far from it.  Her ability with the sword paled in comparison to her colleagues, and even Kimiko’s unarmed fighting style seemed faster and more effective. And her fear of the dark…no, that had not served her well either.  

But she had learned a couple of things about herself that surprised her.  One, deep within her lurked something that she almost dared not name: a deep and intense bloodthirst that seemed to emerge at different times when she fought.  Once, in the final battle, she had almost forgotten who and where she was – her only thought was to kill the opponent in front of her. It had definitely helped steel her nerves, but it had not served her well overall…several times she had advanced too far, only to become surrounded by superior numbers. Fortunately, she thought, they were only rats.

Second, Ketzia had found somebody to emulate: Kimiko. She hadn’t realized it until they had returned to the surface, but she had found herself constantly comparing her actions to those of Kimiko’s. And while she felt she did not compare well, she did not, as she would have expected, descend into pathos. Instead, the overriding feeling was one of resolve – resolve to do better, to show Kimiko that she could indeed carry her weight.

But it wasn’t just fighting.  It was Kimiko’s attitude, her confidence, her camaraderie – skills that Ketzia just didn’t have.

She doubted Kimiko, given her relative care-free, down-to-earth nature, would have thought much of her putting her on a pedestal.  She could almost hear her now: Ketzia, just be yourself. Everyone is different – comparisons do you or me little good…

Perhaps, she thought, but Ketzia had never had anyone to look up to. Gela had been a mother figure of sorts and had taught her many things. But that was different. Kimiko was who Ketzia wanted to be…someday….with a lot of work….

Perhaps one day she might tell Kimiko that…she wasn’t sure…but for now, she would keep this to herself and focus on something she hadn’t had in a while: a goal beyond just survival. She would train herself, and try to be more like Kimiko…she grimaced – that will be the day…she nearly laughed. Nevertheless, it felt good to have some direction, and a direction that kept her away from thoughts of her home and her life before…

[Imperious]

Unlike meeting Kimiko, Ketzia couldn’t remember exactly when she had met Necromedon.  It just seemed like he was always around.

She recalled him saying that he had been impressed at her reaction to meeting him.  After all, he was a Drow, and one didn’t see them too often, especially if you had lived in the kitchen of a manor all your life like Ketzia had.

And she had responded that when you’re afraid of a lot of things, meeting a Drow for the first time isn’t that big a deal. After a while, you just dealt with all of your fears as best you can…They had both laughed, and a strong bond had formed immediately.

Later, when she found out more about the Drow, she reminded herself that it probably would have been wise to be more apprehensive about meeting Necro (as she liked to call him). But the more and more Ketzia had gotten to know him, he seemed about as different from the Drow as Ketzia was from her friend, Kimiko.  She sometimes forgot he was a Drow at all.  

She also began to realize that she and Necro had far more in common than she might have ever thought, which was odd considering they were, at first glance, an outcast Drow and a kitchen girl. But she enjoyed his philosophy, his occasional moodiness, and the rare insights he would throw out ever so briefly about his life in the Underdark.  She wanted to know more, yet she really didn’t know how to go about it, short of asking the question straight out (and that, of course, was more of Kimiko’s thing anyway!).  

They also shared an interesting in fishing, although the task seemed to make them more exasperated than anything. The sword seemed to come much naturally to her than the fishing pole. Which was good, since carp did not seem to have the bite that goblins and shades did.

She had progressed somewhat in her training, and even felt confident enough to occasionally leave the safe confines of Hlint…where, of course, she seemed to naturally run into Necro everywhere. More recent battles had confirmed her fear – she did seem to lose her focus in battle occasionally and give in to some kind of battle lust. And even worse, she sometimes really liked it.  It wasn’t a rage, she thought –not some sort of barbarian craziness. Just a very strong, intense interest in killing something.  She was unsure what to do about, and it was not something she intended to share with anyone, not even Necro, whom for some reason she thought might understand.  She fervently hoped that continued training with the sword would help her…but she wasn’t sure at this point.  

At this point in her life, she was vaguely aware of battles, plot and story lines happening around her – a war to save, or destroy, the world. To save the race of dragons. It was all mostly a blur to her, and for now, she was content to keep it that way.  It was too much for her right now.  She wanted – she needed – to focus on her training.

But she hoped – and part of her knew – something would be calling her…and soon…

She just hoped it wasn’t her past.

[Imperious]

Only once in her life before had Ketzia felt the sort of fury she experienced in the goblin caves.  And that, of course, had been the confrontation with Korath, but she purposefully refused to dwell on that memory, for she knew where that would take her…

No, the anger she had felt in the goblin caves was the result of her several weeks of warring with the tribe. Some days, she would venture in with groups into the cave, taking out large numbers of warriors. Other days, by herself she would exchange bowshots with some of the scouts on the surface.

But every time -- every day, it seemed! – more of them returned. And while most of the time, she got the better of them, every now and then she was forced to retreat to the safety of Hlint.  And on those occasions, her blood boiled and her anger steamed over…although she was careful not to let her anyone see her rage.

So when the goblin chief was finally...finally!...dead at her feet, she felt a great release in her heart, and her whole soul seemed to climb into the sky.  It was done…it was over…at least for now, although she knew some other clan would probably move in. Was it too much to ask for a group of dwarves or gnomes to claim the caves as their home? she thought.

Her only regret was that she actually hadn’t been the one to slice off his head – that had been Karyth. She laughed involuntarily – there was something both incongruous and humorous about the image of the small brownie cutting off the head of the monstrous chief.

The size of someone clearly affected her, for she was apprehensive about Klugger and other giants, no matter how well intentioned they were.  In contrast, she had immediately taken to Karyth, both, she thought, for his size and his always cheery demeanor. It was hard, she thought, sometimes, to take him seriously.

But she had seen Karyth take his sword, or whatever it was a brownie wielded, to numerous enemies, and his small stature combined with his tremendous speed made him very dangerous.  Take brownies only so lightly, was rapidly becoming one of her mantras. And yet, it was still difficult to integrate his cheery, fun-loving demeanor with his ability to deal out death…

She could still remember her first time meeting Karyth.  She had been in the goblin caves with some companions…she thought Bido, at least….when they had seen Karyth move by them quickly….so quickly, she wasn’t even sure she had seen anything. They had decided to look for him, but couldn’t find him. Even when he had started talking, Ketzia didn’t see him at first.  Of course, she later found out he had been actively trying to hide from them, which made it nearly impossible to find him at all. She smiled at the incident.

Her battlelust had subsided for a few days after the victory over the goblins, but she had still sensed its presence within her. It continued to scare her, but she also found it more and more comforting. And especially disturbing to her, especially the more she thought about it, she found that she really enjoyed being in battle more and more.

She wondered if anyone noticed, but her confidence and courage in a number of areas was growing. To be sure, she will was still shy and awkward socially, especially with strangers or in large groups. But she was discovering a whole new side to her when she was among friends. Then, her shyness seemed to disappear, and she felt confident, secure and ready to share a laugh or joke with her companions. And when in the heart of danger, she seemed quick to respond to new threats and ready to defend her friends from attacks, and even to the death if need be.

Of course, these moments didn’t last long, and what was so frustrating to her is that one moment she would be fine, and the next, a trembling basket case. It seemed that if she had time to think about what was happening, she would get upset and scare herself even more. The shades in the Broken Wood were a good example.  She hated going through there, and the more she thought about them, the more her body shook with terror. They had nearly killed her once, and two other times she was lucky to leave the wood alive. She hated shades…hated them with a passion that scared her at times. There wasn't much she wouldn't do to kill a shade...

She was still nervous about being in the dark, and walking around alone in the dark nearly shut her down completely. Once, she had found herself alone in the forest and her torch had gone out.  She had panicked, and it was only by the grace of the gods that she had been close to Hlint at the time.

But when she was simply reacting to events around her, a very different Ketzia emerged. Focused, intense and capable of feats that she would never have thought she could have performed. She wondered on several occasions if her increased ability at sword fighting was helping her. It required an immense amount of time and devotion, and she was, slowly but surely, getting better at it. Indeed, she perhaps felt most confident when she was swinging a sword. She had thought even briefly about seeking a teacher at some point, someone who could instruct her even more thoroughly in the art of the sword.

Not that she still wasn’t making mistakes, especially when it came to playing it careful and not rushing the enemy in an all-out attack. And her awkwardness and clumsiness still seemed to shine through at the worst possible moment.

But Ketzia was changing…in many ways…and she thought, mostly for the better. And overall her life was going well, with new friends and many things to look forward to. She absently wondered briefly if it was all going too well….

[Imperious]

Ketzia was loathe to call recent events a turning point in her life, because in her experience – albeit quite limited – turning points were only revealed in hindsight….the kind of hindsight that happened months or even years down the road when real perspective was gained.  

Nevertheless, she felt confident that she had indeed come to some turning points – perhaps defining moments were a better term – very recently, and she was still basking in the pleasant glow that comes from the knowledge that one has overcome challenges.

It had all started with the boy’s cries.  She and Kimiko had been first to hear the boy, Bert, as they had been talking outside of the Wild Surge. His father had been lost, captured by some undead shade – a shade, she thought, visibly shuddering, blast them all! – out by the Goblin Caves.

And so the search had begun, and the rest of the night was something of a blur, with Ketzia recalling just images and scenes. The group of adventurers – her, an actual adventurer! – was large, perhaps 12 or so, and she felt the least of all of them. They were led by Rhizome, so famous and powerful that even she had heard of him. Ketzia did not understand magic, did not feel it – but she felt the power and magic emanating from him just by standing near him.

And the others, Bruenor the dwarf in particular, were so experienced and battle-hardened. She felt small and insignificant next to them. She had almost decided not to go, but she felt a responsibility to the boy…she was, after all, she thought, one of the ones to actually find him. And she had promised they would find his father and reunite him with the boy. And old Gela had taught her that one always kept promises.

There had been numerous battles, especially with werewolves.  And they had ultimately ended up in the lair of a lich! Even now, she could barely remember that confrontation without shaking. How she had managed to remain standing the whole time she was not sure. She was glad there had been no epic battle with the lich, for she was sure she would not have survived. But there still remained work to be done.

As the images and memories of that expedition fluttered through her mind, four of them in particular stood out – defining moments, perhaps.

First, she had met Bido, a Halfling monk whom she immediately liked. He, for one, seemed to at least understand her fear of the dark, and he had constantly been there next to her with a torch when the lights had gone out. Plus, he had been the one to lead her through the lich’s maze. Without him, Ketzia was certain she would never have found her way out. They had become fast friends.

Second, and this had stunned her when it had happened, but she had gotten annoyed with Rhizome. He had wanted to continue talking – he undoubtedly had practical knowledge and good advice to share – but she had been worried about arriving too late to save the father and had wanted to move on. He had merely replied that he wanted to pass on some knowledge about what they might face, and he couldn’t have said it in a more even tone. But looking back on the whole night, Ketzia wasn’t sure when she felt more scared – facing the lich or talking with him.

She had expected simply to follow Rhizome’s orders, and to be sure she never got out of line, but she had gotten frustrated with his calm, passive demeanor. The father could be in all sorts of trouble, she wanted to scream…why are we standing here?! And Luna – ye gods – Ketzia really liked Luna, but could the girl be any more enamored or worshipping of Rhizome?  She wondered how she would feel about Rhizome as the search continued.

Third, and perhaps the most unforgettable moment of the night for her, she had actually defeated one of the shade’s minions – in the darkness. Throughout the search, Ketzia had become more and more depressed about her fighting ability. She had been unable to scratch the werewolves and felt more and more useless as the search had continued. It had not been until the maze, when the group had gotten separated. They had run into one of the shade’s minions, some sort of floating undead monstrosity, and it had been her and Bido fighting the thing in the darkness of the maze. She had almost just dropped her sword and given up, but her battlelust had taken hold of her, and she had attacked the thing in a desperate rage, unsure if she could even damage it.

Ketzia, in fact, ended up killing it, with the help of Bido. And it was a like the sun had just risen in the maze, lighting up every black corner and recess of the foul place and lifting her heart like a balloon. She was fairly certain that if not for that victory, she would have been unable to face the lich. It was that victory, she thought, that might make her a true swordfighter one day.

Fourth and finally, after the lich had released them and sent them on their errand, the party had broken up temporarily. And when Ketzia woke up from her rest, she found herself all alone in the Rangers Vale, far away from Hlint. In the middle of the night.  Without a torch.

She had nearly gone crazy right then and there. She had shook for a few moments and then screamed, hoping somebody from the group was still around.  No luck. And then, as if some mania had overtaken her, she had walked, in the pitch dark, through the Seilwood, all the way to Hlint by herself.

And so Ketzia would never be afraid of the dark again, although she still preferred light and resolved to always carry a torch with her…

She mourned for the father and his son, and wondered where the rest of their search might take her and her friends...

[Imperious]

She hadn’t fully realized just how important the quest really was until the reinforcements had arrived.  And she had simply had no idea what sort of trouble they were going to cause, at least at the beginning.

The original group had agreed to meet back at the Ranger’s Vale after resting and restocking for supplies. But when Ketzia had arrived, the group had doubled in size. She felt better knowing that friends like Bido, Necromedon, Luna and others were there, but the new faces caused much consternation.

For starters, the larger group made her think more clearly about just how important – and dangerous – the quest had begun.  It was no longer simply a search for a missing father. There were serious implications for her friends and for all of Layonara were they to fail. The fact that Luna had been “marked” by the lich and its cohorts made Ketzia all the more nervous and aware of her own fragile existence. How Luna was handling it so well, she had no idea, although she suspected Rhizone's proximity and leadership had something to do with it.

In addition, Ketzia felt lost again among all of the people, which disappointed her immensely, especially since she had just been starting to find her place in the group. Making matters worse, several of the new people seemed to dislike – hate even? – the Drow, which included her friend Necromedon and a couple of others in the party. They weren’t even quiet about it, especially the crazy one who kept thinking he was muttering to himself when everyone could hear him quite clearly. This made no sense to her. Why were they talking about this when there were clearly bigger things happening right in front of them? Ketzia had wanted to tell them that if they didn't like Drow, they just ought to go...but as usual, she hadn't...although, she thought, she might have had one of them gotten into it with her...at least, she hoped she would have.

The group had nearly fallen apart very early on when some of the scouts moving ahead of the party had taken matters into their own hands.  On what exactly, Ketzia, confused by the mass of bodies moving through the Seilwood, past Hlint and into the outskirts of Haven --- Haven! Her body shook involuntarily – had no idea. She had thought that some of the members were literally going to come to blows. Fortunately, clearer heads prevailed, ultimately, and they had entered a dungeon – a hole in the ground, really, Ketzia would think at the time – that hopefully contained one of the keys to free the lich from the demon’s service and finally destroy the lich…At least, she thought that’s what the keys would do…

In the stories Gela had told her at night, the heroes were never quite so confused.  It was always fairly easy to figure out what the hero (or heroine, as Ketzia preferred) had to do.  Real life, however, didn’t always offer up so much guidance, so she had been perfectly content to let Rhizone, Luna and others lead the way. That, and her confidence shaken by the size of the group, and Ketzia suddenly felt very small and helpless again…something she hoped she had gotten over.

Help came in the most unlikeliest of places. A dwarf fighter in the party – and a female one at that, the first female dwarf Ketzia had ever met – had been guarding the rear of the party, and doing so with expert training and a keen eye.  Ketzia watched her for some time and finally decided to speak with her.

Gretchen Stonebow and Ketzia hit it off almost immediately, and Ketzia was very impressed with Gretchen and her approaching to fighting. Even while learning to fight and handle her sword with increasing expertise, Ketzia had not learned much about the science of fighting – movement, placement, communication and attention to detail. The dwarf’s knowledge made a marked impression on her. If she wanted to be a true master of the sword – and this was something that Ketzia thought more about everyday – she quickly realized that there were whole aspects of sword fighting that she had not even considered. Ketzia had enjoyed fighting for fighting’s sake, but now she was beginning to realize that the art and science of fighting was not just necessary, but also enjoyable. And she wondered if she would be able to learn all that from some of the old texts she had been reading in the Great Library.

Gretchen, she thought she recalled, had been a follower of Vorax. Ketzia had never thought much of religion, but a god devoted to the art of battle might be something to consider. She thought that might be an unworthy reason to worship a god – shouldn’t she get involved in religion because of much higher, more devout reasons? However, so far no wave of religious inspiration had hit her during her brief life. But if she did follow Vorax, wouldn’t he be pleased with another follower anyway, regardless of the reason? Perhaps she would find out more.

By focusing on guarding and following Gretchen’s lead, Ketzia found the expedition much easier to handle.  The focus on placement and the attention to detail alleviated her worries, as she found she wasn’t thinking at all of her silly fears in that first place. And ultimately, she had her moment during the quest anyway. For Bido had been left behind briefly and been ambushed by some ungodly creatures called umber hulks, and Ketzia had charged to his aid…somewhat recklessly, of course, but she had managed to keep herself under control for the most part. And she had been very proud when she had managed to personally slay two of them. Apart from the undead she had faced, they were the most fearsome things she had ever seen. But she had stared them down and killed them.

Of course, she had nearly died too on the expedition, again charging foolishly – this time against a row of skeleton archers. The abyss had almost taken her soul, only for a priest in the party to save her at the last second. The near-death experience shook her for some time…Maybe, she thought, it was time to explore a part of her that she had mostly ignored…maybe it was time to seek out her spiritual self and see if she could make peace with it before her next mistake.  

Was that what was missing from her life, from her own personal journey to not only master the sword, but master her past? She pondered that question for the rest of the night, only finding sleep a few hours before the cold light of dawn….