Letters and Tales

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

  How are your children, your spouces, yourselves? I apologize for my absence, but i found myself quite litterally plucked up out of the real world and into the world that should not exist. I can not write the true events, because i do not trust these message carriers. Suffice it to say, I've met someone who ma always told us about, but we never believe. Well not logically anyway, in our hoping hearts maybe.

  Know that i am safe, and while lonesome for my loved ones, i am happy.

All my Love to you,

~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

I hope this issue finds you well. I've found myself not far from you, in Fort Hope, and i will be comming to visit soon. I cannot stay, as i had origionally planned. It goes back to my proir letter, and when i manage to find a way to visit, i will explain in person. Make sure the Children are around, for it is an enchanting tale!

I do miss the feel of the soil beneath my hands, the smell of ox as we turn the land. Most of all i miss Mother, as i am sure you both feel as well. As bright as my days seem to be, filled with new experiences, mother and our sibs haunt my nights. I do not sleep well. I fear if i do not find a cure for this soon, i will fall ill. But do not worry, Big Sis will manage, and as always be there for you! I can't wait to see you all!

Katia keep you,
~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

Can you believe it? Yes, that rag tag band all hailed from the town i told you about! I do hope the children setteled after i left, they seemed more excited then i thought they might be. I hope you can hear the smile in my voice, because i am still wearing that same smile. It was so wonderful to see you again. I miss you all more then ever. I find my adventurer's days filled with running from my sleepless nights. I've taken to skulking around the country side finding odd items that look useful. Most times it is with someone, but sometimes i am alone. The people of Hlint seem very friendly. They also seem to each be hiding some big secret. My first big day was today tho.
A dwarven clan by the name of Gnald, well two cousins anyway, took me by the hand and showed me some of the places i'd been looking for. They help me complete some tasks i'd agreed to do for coin and favor, and that has seemed to help my out look. I think the cousins were leary of me at first, tho Alymli Gnald seemed to warm quickest. The real breaking point was when i guess they decided i was more human then elf. I must not have the attitudes of the average half elf, what ever that is. I'm pleased just the same.

Well, my tired body screams for rest, so i will try to appease it. Be well and safe. Kiss the littles for me.

~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

This one will be short. My apologies, but i am very tired. The dreams keep comming, and my sleep vanishes before i can lay to rest. I've moved out of the city tonight, as i used to before.... be fore we burried mother. Maybe Katia will take pity on me and help me find rest for my weary body. Even elves wern't made to withstand such punishment.

I find myself increasingly shy, and horribly depressed. Even the shining new faces seem to blur together. Today a kind gent and a young lady and all hunted together for something... i'm so thin i cannot remember what we were looking for. I cannot recall if i even introduced myself. The lady, her named stared with an "N" and it reminded me of natto, those sweet beans. The name of the gent, i don't believe he actually gave. He was very striking and kind.

Well i will go to my prayers to Katia, and the solace i will seek. All my love.

Your Big Sis,
~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

I write to let you know i've finally rested some. It seems the forest suits me better, and i am able to rest most nights. Not to worry, i am careful as always, and even have an aquaintance or two. One is a little gal named Meira. She's helped me rally some forces to help some of the towns folk with various project. Another is the gent i mentioned earlier though he has a name. They call him Darkchild, but i think there is more to him then meets the casual eye. He offers me advice on some of the local trades that i might take up, yet i see him with such a gruff and hard exterior in front of so many others. Grympint, a very pleasant dwarf, has helped me with various projects, including keeping up with Darkchild, as he moves like the wind! I find my skills in healing are meager compaired to what these folks need, but i do try. I've had enough presence of mind to write a bit of a tune. It seems to have gone over well with some of my aquaintances here. You know i am poor with the lyrics except when the muse truely finds me, but these melodies really seem to bolster some moods. I catch myself peicing out new tunes every waking moment these days. Mother always said i had a bit of Bard in me. I dare to dream that i could achieve status as a Bard near here. I've not met any bards hailing from this town, tho that is not to say that they do not exist. Though truely, i'm a farmer at heart and most of all i miss my baking! i've found a kitchen here that i can use if i can find the supply. Also a young gent showed me how to prepair fish over the camp fire. I'd done land creatures before, but never fish. it was fairly tasty, tho i did undercook the first one. that was a little slimey going down, ugh.

well with that pleasant thought in mind, i will leave you. I feel i should hurry with this letter since you have undoubtedly been worried over my last few letters. I plan to visit again soon.

Love from your Big Sis,
~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

Sorry it's been so long since my last writing. Much has changed since my last visit. I write this letter to let you know what is going on, but also to dig through my feelings and understand myself. I think some where along my path i have become lost. I call myself a Farmer and a Baker, yet i cannot get my head out of books, my mind out of adventures nor my heart out of song. While my songs are dirges and battle charges, they give me a relase my sowing, reaping, mixing and kneeding cannot match.

One of my aquaintances... nah, we will call him friend as he is the closest thing to a friend i have besides my beloved family. My friend, whom i think i have mentioned before visited with me this late evening. He meditates often at night, but invited me to come up on his perch to visit. He pointed out to me that maybe i should think, when was the last time i planted in my own soil, when was the last time i truely farmed? it was a life time ago, when you were but babes yourselves. Now that you are grown, have families of your own, maybe it's time i followed my passions?

I've embarked on a new path tonight i think. I will seek out stories like never before, and maybe i will write one of my own. I have some closely guarded desires about my path and who i may walk it with, but i will leave that for another letter.

I have grown in strength over the last few weeks. I am able to get to fort hope mostly on my own, tho i still prefer company on my trips. If you've need of me at any time, know i am but a letter away. i will try and keep in better touch through my journeys in the mean while, because my worried mind hovers over my sibs nearly constnatly.

my love,
~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

How fare you and your families? I've not had a return letter in a while, i suppose that means my visits have been too spread out. I will endevor to come that way in the next week or so. I'm quite busy with things here, i've found quite a few folks in need of help i can provide. I think i'm just about the Postman's personal apprentice!

In the weeks past i've found several things. First and most important i managed to find my way to a forest near Hlint where a temple to Katia is! there are a few houses in the area, i've noticed as well. If i were to ever settle again i might do it in this area. You know how i've always loved camping and the woods. I'm not ready to plant roots just yet tho. i'm sure there is much more of the world to see before i find the perfect place. Shortly after finding this temple I bumped into (almost litterally!) none other then the great loremaster Ozymandias! My friend Meira and i were invited to listen to him tell a great story! It was inchanting both to hear him tell it, and the story it self. The end does not seem to be finished, so i am left hanging, hoping to hear the end soon! Not too many days after this experience did i meet Plenarius Ashaley, a servant to Katia. He has WINGS, like a bird! It's was amazing to see him fly! I am still tickled to death, and probably will be fore years, that i got to sit in on another spontanious story telling session which Plendarius began and Ozymandias came into later on! There were quite a few of us at that telling, most were locals. One of which was a reciently relocated Sea Elf, who i have taking to calling Lady Blue because i can't seem to remember *and* pronouce her real name. Another attendie i had the pleasure of meeting and visiting with was a fellow bardress Acacea. Her talent abounds! I'm really lucky to have been apart of that evening.

I've begun to get a feel for the areas, and i am starting to chart some areas where some of the wild grains and berries grow. With careful harvesting i think i might be able to start baking on the side again. I want to keep in practice so i don't forget how to bake mother's blackberry pie! i am sure i can discover some new recpies as well! I haven't found any tea plants or other such spices for drinks yet. I hope to soon, but i've no leads on where to start. There is a few towns that seem to have a community garden that i am fond of visiting and tending, namely Hlint, your own Fort Hope and Krandor. I've also started seeking some sorces of eggs and cream for my baking needs.

Well this letter has rambled on! I bet this last bit of news will make it a bit more interesting, i know how you two gossip. I've met someone i concider quite special. I'll not reveal the name at this time because i am not quite sure how he feels, nor if anything will come of it. I've made a personal commitment to help him as much as i can, as he has truely helped me. I'm trying not to build my hopes on something i do not quite understand, but keep the possiblities safely open. You know how compulsive i can be... it is hard not to just blurt out my feelings and throw cation to the wind. I am sure from some things he has said there are feelings on his part as well, but i do not know how deep they run, and it is my fear right now that i will chase him away with my openly strong feelings. It would be truely heartbreaking to loose him as a friend as well.

well that's enough excitement for one letter, there's more but i have things i need to get to!

Be Well,
~Lee

[Rowana]

A paper in AnnaLee's folder is the only markings of an evening spent in Awe and Wonder at the the Ceremoney of the Great Oak. It reads:

Our Calling, may we never forget
The Balance, healthy and strong
Our Hearts Desire
Our Love
Provides

The Great Sacrifice, forever remain
The Last Days, reflecting the change
Her Eyes will see
The Gift
Given

New Days Ahead, hope and fight
A New Sacrifice, with love, light
His Gift anew
The World
Sees

The Beauty, of heart and mind
The Place, purest and full
The Sacred Grove
Always remain
Serene

Our Hearts Desire, balance and green
Our Love's Desire, an end with peace
Her Eyes watch
Our Hearts
Fight

Of The Greatest Peace, all to seek
Our Bond we share, Gias to fill
His love and protection
Our Duty
Remains

One Prayer offered, Let it Be
One Praise cried, our balance remain
Many Hearts connect
Our Passion
Drives

With Great Sadness, reprieve too short
With Elation, sights pure Divine
All that remains,
BitterSweet Memories
It Ends

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

I appologize for my absence once more. I have a feeling as my path continues, this may happen from time to time. Don't you worry about it though. I've a couple of close friends who'd know to come to you should anything truely final happen with me. I've in works a letter to keep on my person that should i fall, all my posessions will come to the two of you. well, there will be a few exceptions, and they will be noted and those items will be going to the Temple of Katia.

Hmm, rereading that, it sounds aweful dark and gloomy like. It's probably just my mood and my desire to let you know i am thinking of you, mixing. I've not the heart to go into the details of my mood. I've had some, revelations, and it has darkened my outlook conciderably. However, i am probably the stronger for it all. I've faith in Katia and in myself to know that i can move on from all of this. Rest assured i will continue to do what i can to keep my family safe! You can't see it through this letter but i am smiling, i promise.

I've to go now, but i will send you another letter very soon.

~Lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

My news is sad for the family this writing. I am moving farther away. Much in fact. I've left to seek further service to Katia, my true love in life. Too many things have happened in Hlint for my mind to stay focused on the real tasks in Her name. The way rumors fly in that place about what ones intentions are or how one conducts one self is amazing and disheartening. It is also quite distracting.

On an effort to clear my mind so that my path will be there for me to see, i've Hiked up to Vale area, on Dregar. It's not so far that i can't come back to visit, but our letters will take longer to get back and forth. I will make a personal effort to visit in person more often. Its strange, before when the path was easy and i could trek it when it pleased me, i did not visit as often as i should have. Now that the road with be perilous and long i find my desire to return to you overwhelming. It is no matter, my service has first and always been to Katia. I suppuse you two know that. So i've to do what is best for those ends.

I've explored around the area a bit and found i should be quite able to live off the land as i have done in the past. There are many races of creture surrounding the Vale and some i have no wish to interfere with. There is a clan of Satyr near by, and i hope i can stay out of their territory as much as possible. i really have no desire to upset their balance. In Vale there is a Temple of Katia, and i am going to visit with the preistess there and see what purpose i can serve there. i suppose that should have been my first order of buisness but i didn't want to commit to something i could not achieve. I still may yet not be able to achieve these taskes, but i've seen a bit of the area, and i've a fighting chance.

as to my leaving of Hlint... It was heartbreaking. As many distractions and ache that i flee from to clear my path, i too have left behind good friends. I hope they can find it in their hearts to understand what i have done. With the way everyone travels it's truely hard to wait around and say good bye, because you never know who might not be returning for ages. I did get to say good by to Sir Caighd and Lady Dalia. Though i think if the two of them continue to work together as they have i'll be seeing them around Dregar soon. They are both most devout to their gods of Rofirein and Toran respectively. Lady Dalia has a kind heart to go with her convictions, and i think that makes a vast differeance between her and many of her brethren. Sir Caighd's convictions are very well balanced with his thoughfulness, as he proved a few weeks back when he and Master Ozymandias bantared a bit over Rofirein philosophy. Sir Caighd proved to be flexible and willing to listen. I think the two of them will go quite far in this world and i will be glad of it!

Master Ozymandias.. I will miss running into him in Hlint. He has so many insights that have opened my mind and in someways my heart. He's been able to say just the right things to make me question my motives and my actions. I think he's helped me find a stronger tie to Katia in the process. I think mostly i will miss the stories. Of course you know what kind of a fall i will take just to hear a good story! He's been a grand friend. Hopefully someday i will have the oportunity to repay him for all he has done.

Really, there are many people in Hlint i will miss. The more i think on it, the more i feel my decision was rash. But there's no help for it now. I'm here. I've made promises to Lady Ireth and Mister Jay to visit with them. They both have been stead fast friends through some large trials in my life. I owe them debts of friendship and gratitude. Lady Ireth has begun to teach me elvish, by the way, Bethany. I know you've always had a love for that language. When i visit i will share what i can. I'm sure you've no time for learning the whole language, but a few words to brighten you day, maybe here and there?

I've to finish my portrait of Lady Tegan and Mister Renji. It acutally seemed fitting to place Master Jin in there as well, so i've done so. I really hope the three don't mind. I expect there will be plenty of time for that in my upcomming days. There is also Grympint, my dwarven friend. He's quite devout to Vorax. He's a bit of a tough nut, but i've found him to be quite loyal to those he cares about, probably past was is safe for himself.

With out being able to recount whole stories, i can't really explain two whom i hope to call friend. Master Remiel and Master Plenarius. My heart isn't in it to tell these stories right now. I've enough sadness to cover up with this night. Some day soon, even just for the telling of it, so that i may move on. It's sort of all wraped up in the events of the last day or so that have left me spinning in confusion. When i can sort it all out and make sence of my thoughts i will assuredly tell the tale.

Well that is probably enough of a letter this time around! You two are busy with your lives and don't have time to sit around for too long!

Be Safe and keep those kids in good health.
~Lee

[Rowana]

*a letter has been started, no names in the addressing*

None of this will make any sence to you, but i felt the need to update you since my last letter. Since my Retreat to Vale i have been Drawn back to Hlint to help my friend Lady Ireth in her time of need. The problem she faces is a problem for all peoples. I know that it seems a minor menace compaired to the likes of Blood and his generals, but being inside the problem it is no less real or dangerous.

I have come to many understandings by this writing, including what it means to be a Rider. My Horse is Denial, and he is magnificant. My heart longs to see and feal him, hear his sweet nuzzles. I know that being connected like this may destroy me, but i cannot help the tie i feel to him. I don't think his desire is to hurt me. As of this writing Lady Ireth and Lady Rhynn are also Riders, Fear and Anger respectively. It has altered their personalities and i am sure my Sweet Denial has altered mine.

I will not let this stop my search for the root of what we not so fondly referr to Anxiety, all tho i know this is not his name. I also will not stop in my work to encourage respect and good will amongst the people of Mistone. Part of the cause to all of this trouble that besets us is the Hero complex that swirls around Gods, Gold and Glory. our perspective must alter, we must be in this to safe the everyman, and his families. The Spririt of Layonara is injured and must be healed before this or any other menace can be put to rest. A True Balance needs brought forth, one where Good and Evil, Chaos and Law are not at odds, but simply are and maybe, indistinguisable. With out this it matters not whom defeats Blood, Anxiety or any other menace, as the heart of all peoples will carry with it a hurt that will pass from one person to the next till we destroy ourselves.

It takes some effort to write this, many breaks to cool my thoughts so that i may face these hard issues. and there are many issues i simply cannot face. I count my blessings for not being in this alone, because this of all times, i am in need of help. Master Mith and Lady Ireth  have been constant companions to me for weeks now. I'll not see them hurt through my lack of action, reguardless of my Sweet Denial. I do fear i will not be able to function normally for what ever time i have left. It seems anytime i am upsetted my mind wanders away from me and all i can do is follow it. i feel lost in a swirl of emotions i cannot control. one moment i am in tears, another my heart leaps for joy, and yet the next i cannot even recall my name.

I pray that Lady Katia will not abandon me for i need her connection most of all, it keeps me grounded to the reality, connected to what little wisdom and wit i posess. My prayer time is the most peaceful of all times, and i find myself sinking into it more and more. Is this also my Sweet Denial at work?

*the letter has no headder or ending. it simply just stops and sits in a parchment folder awaiting burn or mail.*

[Rowana]

*a second letter sits beside the previous letter, again with no headder or ending*

I feel disconnected from myself. My feelings seem walled away, my only desires to protect my friends and their loved ones. I no longer feel hunger, or thirst. I've no desire for flavor or creation. I stare at my peices in work hoping i will come around and again create. But nothing comes of it. I'm so tired. I merely wish to sleep. I wake many times in the night, but i have no reccolection of the dreams. I'm sure they are the same as always, My mother and sibs murdered and abused. it should be a blessing i suppose, in disguise, and i am sure it has something to do with Denial. however, a familar pain would be a blessed sensation. I sit and stare and think and try to puzzle the riddles. I can think of nothing else, but to save Denial, the Riders. My will to complete this is all that keeps me going. there is nothing else. I cannot hunt, fish.. gather.. bake..  nothing of my past seems attached. My world is grey and Koralawyn my only rage. I should have felt elation at my performance at the Freelancer's Tavern. For a time i thought i was happy, but now it seems empty.

My worry for the other Riders is consuming in their presence. it has come to a point where i can no longer concentrate with them near by. I fled from them the last time new information was brought. Their reactions were so sharp it as like a stabbing pain through my body. The more they spoke and worried and angered i could feel my self slipping further away. I fled. I hid from them. Master Ozymandias happend upon my hiding place. I know he might have had something to say at first, but i asked him not to speak. I feared his words might push me into the abyss of Nothingness once more. I would have forgotten it all, locked it away in some hidden cove of my mind. I spoke out loud to him, really for fear that i would forget and in hopes he could remind me when i returned to myself. He listened and offered perspective on my thoughts. Sometimes i do not understand his motives with any inkling. I would think in his very position he would leave competely out of this situation. His perspective is unique and i would never turn it away. I know i'm free to toss it away from me if i find it unuseful, but it is rarely that. eventually felt i had peiced some of the facts together correctly, even though i still feel as tho there is a large part of this that is gone from me. Like what is Solitary's connnection to Koralawyn. I must solve this riddle, or help those that can. I feel the only way to proceed now is to go with Ireth to Lake Tarn to see if she can find her daughter through their connection. Once done, we will have to carefully tread and find this place. In the  meanwhile keeping all souls away from Pandimonium's gate is a must. Denial seems scared and angry, he knows that if the activity keeps up Koralawyn will block the portal competely and I fear Denial will be trapped there, kept from me. My soul is Lost with out his touch. I fear to call for him. I know he will sence my heartache and come to me. I fear for his safty, so i try not to even reach my thoughts to him. Through all of the grey feilds in my heart i do know that i love Denial. With out him, i cannot exist.

I've found some solace in Mith. He sits with me, nightly. He helps me keep my mind working. sometimes even offers some trek to keep me moving. I can feel his worry for the Riders, and especially Ireth. But somehow he keeps it tightly held so that it's not overbearing between us. I worry for his other problems, and i guess there is not much i can do but listen. I think between Mith and Remiel they've kept me eating, elsewise i would be a collapsed heep somewhere. I don't feel the hunger pains untill the damage is being done to my body. eventually i think i won't even feel it then. Mith has confessed strong feeling for me, but... I can't respond past care of a friend untill denial doesn't consume my heart. I do not know if that time will ever come. I cannot bare the thought of Denial leaving me even though i know him to be the cause of my distance from myself. I know i cannot trust any feeling for nothing makes sence. The sight of Plen drives denial and dread through my soul. I cannot but flee. I know i care for him strongly, though when asked i could not say why. I hardly know him. Before all of this i recall some kind of pull to him. It seems a push now. Maybe this has something to do with my taint, my loving bond with Denial. Does Katia not approve? I cannot escape the fear that i have lost favor with Katia because of my involvment. My Balance teaters and with each passing day i feel more lost. I used to find ground when near my friend Jay, but i've not seen him for months. I fear something has kept him away. I wish to seek him out, but i know not where to start. My stability seems teathered ironicly to Mith, whom i know to be a necromancer, and the other riders, whom also pull at my sanity, as well as i think to Remiel. His presence is fleeting usually, but his strength is felt none the less. Do i drift away from the Balance? or am i walking away from it? the only thing i hear from my heart is lost, loneliness, and quiet. My clammor of music fades, and only the lullaby remians. It gently pulls me away from the ache to a place where there is just... silence.

[Rowana]

*written in sections over a time, it seems not a letter but a collection of thoughts to people she cannot speak with. letters written but not sent, a hope with out realization*

My Sweet Sibs how i miss you. My heart aches to hear your voices. My eyes hold traped emotions with which i cannot cry for. Misery of  loss, Agony of seperation. Mother's spirit finally layed to rest, tho my dreams still haunt my resting hours. Loneliness eternal, untill the day Katia calls me home.

Of Katia, my greatest passion. My path is lost to me, though my drive to Balance pushes me on. I feel your wind at my back, holding me like a lover's embrace. I feel your faith in me, i stand solitary on heights with flame beside and water below. Hold my hand as my heart fades from me. Even a shell i wish to do your bidding. In service there is a balance of purpose and need. My path is not as i wished it, nor as you do, but i work to achieve for you. I will find my way home or die in the trying. Don't loose faith in me, for it is all that ties me here, cut me loose and i will fade from view, purpose and deed. My taint balances my means.

My love- I feel lost to you. I cannot stand the immaculate glow of your presence, it drives dread of loss and fear of rejection to the soul of me. I pray Katia keeps you Safe, and that you return to me, even tho the space is empty, i long to stand there. I know a loneliness in you, and i desire to heal that wound. In servies to the Katia i hope my ripples touch the shore near you. It is as close as Denial lets me come to you. Bonded to his soul with mine i must obey. Sucess depending, even then i cannot know my guarded heart only in that i am torn to stand or flee.

To My Brother found- thank you for your blessed strength, your silence and your questions. In you there is compassion and caring irreguardless of the things i hear. I try to lean as little as possible, but knowing i can flee to you and flee with you away from the madness is a comfort.

My Sisters in bond- Excuse my actions. Know that i care for you, more then beyond my own needs. I want to see you happy and free from the taint that plagues your lives. You each have so much to look forward to and it pains me so to see your troubles compound each day! My own Denial holds me close and it is hard to see past his needs to the needs of others. I feel drained of strength, yet i know to help him i must give in. as we all must. what strength i have left goes to your support, and know i will do anything to keep your futures from fading.

Mith- a little of your darkness fades every day. i fear for it's return. My own heart darkens as it locks down, i cannot see what pain it brings you untill it's too late. i try, but i only have so much strength. My sisters in bond need what little i have, even if it burns the life from me. Denial needs my heart, my sisters my strength. with out my heart i've no music, no words. That leaves you only my patience and the ghost of caring. Know that it is not enough for what you do. Know that some how i will repay your kindness and your loyalty, some token or tribute... forgive me that my words now cannot be enough, that my heart cannot show you anything. The Ghost of caring, i hope it folds you in her arms and comforts you when the pain comes from my actions.

Jay- your absence plagues me with worry as much as anything that can sink through in my state. you are a warrior strong but i fear for your safe return. get word to me of you. My friend of Friends, in my time of need, even your spirit comforts me when you cannot.

Ozymandias- i try to care little for what other's opinions of you bring and keep it from my perspective. I know that few can really understand your motives and your will. I take your guidence for what it is, a challenge to grow. i accept it gladly, whole heartedly. i hope never to dissappoint. your gift of silence is more than anything.

there are many many others around me, and i cannot hope to guess you all. there is a message of hope, some semblance of appology, a visage of anger, and aspects of hatred. you cannot know your affects with out thinking of others. some have helped for greed, some have helped of kindness. know your hearts and then know what i send with you. there is no way for me to express to you your deeds or misdeeds. knowing you will never read my words infuriates me. knowing i cannot speak them saps me of my desire further. my music bleed from me like the blood from my body as it drains down my arms and legs. i see a carnal remains in my mind's eye, of my own. know that this reality is brought on by your actions as much as my own. my own hand acts your will, and whether it presents a healing touch or cuts my own flesh, it is your will inflicted upon my unguarded soul. survival bends on your deeds, thoughtless or soulful. if it is not my survival, then Denial will seek out some other. i give it my all and pray. my words fall on deaf ears, and my pain swirls inside my heart with no place to go. again my vision of my remains appears before me. it will be my own last action, that Denial will find someone with the strength to battle you as i cannot. i'll not burdon him and keep him from his needs, for He is my Love, apart of my Soul and i will not let the actions of others stop him from his needs. I will allow a stronger Rider to prevail and save him. Inflict only soulful deeds and honesty please, i beg of you. to those that do already, and hero's epic you deserve.

my music is faded, my lullaby comforts no more. the silence is deafening. preferring it now, the silence. with no melody and no harmonies, i cannot feel the rest. no longer the trees sing, only the memorie of their song comforts me now. when that fades so to, the light in me.

[Rowana]

*penned carefully shortly after the event occured, Lee hoped to correctly recall the events as they transpired that lazy afternoon.*  
 
    In the lazy after noon sun of Hlint the town bussled with adventurers, treasure hunters, and good samaratins a like. A lone bardress sat atop the open guard tower in her usual spot looking on as the activity ensued below her. Movement behind her on the tower drew her attention. A friend approached her a slight smile on his face. He greeted her and they chatted a moment, their topics falling on subjects neither really wished to discuss. The friend and the bardress fell silent a moment. She studied the grey tones of his clothing thinking to herself how he wore a swath of the emotions she felt. Her friend looked up at her after a moments silence and asked her to spin him a tale. A happy tale he requested. The bardress adjusted her position to better face her friend, and thought quietly. A tale that often inspired her came to mind, tho she hardly condidered it a 'happy tale.' As she could think of no other tale that fit the request she closed her eyes and recalled the details to her. She hoped in the back of her mind as she prepaired for the telling that her grey friend might find a similar inspiration with in the telling. She began to speak slowly drawing the details of the story to her like silk treads pulled from their pods. Her friend fell silent, his eyes locked on her and he smiled slightly.

    Once long ago... a lady lived in her past husband's home. she lived there with her three children, a son and two daughters. The son, though not the eldest, aspired to be the man of the house. He was strong and careful of his Ladies. Their land was small and easily worked, and the stream that ran near by provided for them as well. Though lonely, mostly it was happiness. As the boy came of age, and his sisters married, he worried for his mother. She was heart broken after the loss of her  husband. He knew that he could not in good concious marry and bring more work into the house for she was ailing. He spent many days thinking on the subject. Eventually he admitted he could think of nothing. He loved his mother very much, so it broke his heart to see her so. One night after his sisters and their husbands had left for the evening, he sat with her. She was in meloncholy, tho no tears fell. He tried to sooth her ache wih jokes and with memories, but nothing seemed to sink in to her sadness. Out of despiration, he scooped up his mother, for she was small and frail in her loss.

    He pulled her close and left the house with her. for an hour they walked, his mother lay limply. He talked as he walked with her, telling her of the things he saw. After a time his legs grew tired, and his arms began to ache, for though she was small she did weigh a bit. He found a suitable place to lay his mother, proped aganst a tree. He sat down next to her and held her hand, and he began to cry silently. She heard his quite sobs however, and looked up to him and smiled gently
    "Why do you cry so, my son?" she asked him. He looked up at her wiping the tears from his cheeks.
     "Mother, i worry for you. For years your heart has been broken and yet you toil away to look after your children. you have given so much. Surely there is a way to repay you." Her expression sofened, and she touched her son's face.
    "My son, do not fret for me. There is naught possible but joining with your father again that would mend this weary heart. His heart droped at her words.

    However, they were not alone in the forest that night. When the boy gathered his mother to take her home, it followed them. It watched them for days. It saw how the boy respected and honored his mother and how she in turn cared for her children despite her obvious sadness. It decided to offer them a test with possible reward. The spirit appeared to the boy as an old man. The old man approached their house from out of the woods and begged for a moments rest on their farm. The boy agreed and helped the old man to a chair. The boy did not ask the old man's purpose but addressed him with respect and allowed the old man to spin his tale. The boy offered the old man water and even shared with him a meal. When the boy's lunchen meal was gone and the old man had had a proper rest he stood to leave. The boy asked him his name, but the old man merely said that he was no one, but that he could not appretiate the attention and care more. he promised to return the next day with a reward. The boy really thought nothing of it, and spoke little of the old man to his mother at supper, but return he did the next day, as promised.
   
    In his arms, the old man carried a small roughspun sack. The old man smiled to the boy, and told him in the sack was his fondest wish. The old mad said because his mother raised him so and that he cared for strangers as he would his family, he deserved such a reward. Puzzled the boy waved to the old man as he left and did not think of it again till supper. As he sat down to the table for supper he set the bag down. his mother looked at him curiously and asked where he had gotten it.
      "Curious thing, Mother. That old man i mentioned last evening? He returned today with this to show is gratitude for my kindness. He said my mother raised me well, and that i deserved my hearts desire" but then he frowned. "I have been afraid to open it these last few moments. i cannot think such a package could hold my fondest wish." His mother smiled.
    "Well that is quite a compliment none the less. Open it up and let us see what trinket the nice man brought you." Dutifully, tho worried, the son opened up the sack. In side was a small carving carefully wrapped, of a majestic falcon. It had the inscription reading " for your mother, because you deserve happiness." The boy looked it over and handed it to his mother.
    "It's for you," he said bemused. She took the statue and looked it over, she commented how lovely it was. She held it up to the light and she and the statue began to glow. After a few moments the statue vanished as tho joining into her hand. The son, worried for his mother and sprang to her side, but she smiled at him gently. The spirit appeared to them standing just behind his mother.
    "For the end of her days, your mother may take flight like a bird. When her sadness overwhelms her she will always have an escape for the skies are filled with wonders untold." The boy stared at the spirit and then turned to his mother, who stood smiling at him. Gracefully she huged him and walked to the door of their house. He ran to open it, though he was still awestruck. Out she stepped and as she looked into the sky, a Golden Falcon she did become
 the metamophasis took hold of her like a water's carress. She launched into the air, flying till he could see her no longer. The boy turned back to the spirite in wonder.
    "How could this be?
      "Young man, your foundest wish was for the happiness of your mother. Her fondest wish was to fly. While her husband waits for her to be finished in this Plane, she will find solace in her flights and you will find solace in your future.
    "This is too much, how can i repay you?" the boy asked, shocked and greatful. The spirit smiled kindly at the boy.
    "Raise up your children and teach them as you were taught. Keep hope alive in the world and my debt will be repayed." And with that the spirit vanished, and they never did see him again.
    The boy found love and a family he did raise. He was good to his word, and he raised his children as his mother had raised him. When is mother died, she passed quietly and with a smile. She found happiness and when she moved on to the side her god, it was peaceful. The Golden Falcon for ever remaind the family crest, in honor of worthy people.

 AnnaLee McGregger: *she smiles at Talen*
 Talen Sgath: *smiles back* That was very nice, Lee.
 AnnaLee McGregger: i hoped it would qualify... there are not many 'happy' stories in my collection, but bittersweet i can manage *smiles*
 Talen Sgath: It was just what I had hoped for. *smiles*

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

It's been months! I'm terribly sorry. I've had such and adventure the likes of which you will not believe. Many things have happened, so many things...

At the time of this writing many parts of this adventure are too fresh for me to discuss openly, but my world perspective has opened tremendously. I've shared my soul with another soul. I've made ties believe will last forever, some i'd concider family. I've lost some friends whom i wish i would have been able to keep. I've found love unconditional. I've exeperienced true loss, as my soul was seperated from the one which i shared mine with. I've been close to the end of my strength, wanting to pass over into Katia's arms. All of these things i have experienced, and lived. My perspective has shifted and i see so many things in a different light.

I do not yet feel whole, and i think that will take some time. I think quite a few trips to visit are called for as well. I've missed you all terribly, the lights in the children's eyes as stories are told, songs are taught, the mirth and joy of being home. Through all of this grand adventure, it has only been made more clear what is truely important. Company of a good friend, true love, enjoying peace when it's there, reaching out to those in need, being true to yourself, and seizing the moment, espeically when it's going to make you cry. My biggest lesson? Your never too small, or too weak to make a differance. I've heard myself tell others, but now i believe it of myself as well.

When next i visit i will share with you Elezandor's Tale. I've still a few details to work out that i don't understand so that i might bring you as close a perspective as i can, for truth. It was a fantastic journey that lead me through a life i'd never thought of.

I will visit this week, but my visit on this trip might be short. I've to travel to Rilara and meet with the Freelancers. I've agreed to be a part of their organization, and i think there is much work to be done there. Best of all, i get to help by baking, and tale spinning! Maybe i will find a niche here.

Between the Freelancers, my friends and my new found love, i believe anything is possible.

On that high note i will let you back to your duties. Look for me to visit this week. I've a couple of treats to share with the littles, i'm sure they will enjoy. Please take care of  yourselves and your families. I look forward to the visit!

Katia's wind at your back,
~lee

[Rowana]

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

The last visit was far to short. You all are so different in my eyes after the long absence. If anything i love my family more then ever. The children and their antics are a precious addition to my days there. I found myself marveling at how you had grown up, and it seemed all at once sudden to me that you are both married and have children of your own. It as been near twenty years since mother's passing and that of our sibs. The wound still tears at me daily, and i think that is part of the reason it has come upon me so suddenly how adult you two are. You certianly don't need my mother henning as you once did. You live your lives daily with out me. The timing is curious... i have before me an oportunity to live my life for my own happiness, something i could not do while fulfilling my vow to our mother, to tend you two and see you safely to your own lives. There are certianly no regrets on my part short of wishing i could have some how done more for you two. I hope you both realize i did my best for you both, and will continue to do so. You know i am but a letter away...

I think this letter is already focused on the introspective. I hope you don't mind if i run with that. I have so many things that i want to say, but cannot for various reasons. Rather then fill the letter with nonsence and nothing, i will try for substance. Mother would certianly laugh to see me writing this way. She certianly tried to push in good grammar and content. To hear me speak of course, it only takes me a few moments in your presence or in the the presance of a strong emotion and my fine teachings fly out replaced by my country speach. I laugh at myself of course, but it is that part of me i can't seem to let go. I still think as a farmer. I think i hold to it because if the things it reminds me of. Salt of the earth they say, my roots. I look at the heros and samaritins and those others who are driven by baser needs. It soothes me to recall my roots. I've a good friend Treana, who hails from a farming community as well. I find we have similar bits of wisdom and even similar phrasings. She is a master with color and silk. She seems to draw on her tailoring skills as a artist paints canvas. I think it comforts me to know her, knowing that it wasn't a fluke that a farmer was pulled to this place. We've spoken of things as crop yeild and cultural traditions. Ours are quite different in one respect and entirly similar in another. She and i, birds of a feather i think. Her passions do drive her for the hunt, and that is one way we are incredibly different.

My desire for the hunt has completely gone from me. I can't even hunt game as i once did for the family. My 'hunt' is now revolves around berries and lore. In honesty i havn't found another soul here who carries this passivenes. I find myself in want to heal the enemy, in battle that does not have a clear cause in my heart, i am a danger to my companions. I have refrained from assisting in all but the truest causes. I find myself worrying that i will allienate myself from others because of this.. in fact i see it happening already. I think i find some solace in the guild i have committed to. They have a strong backing in crafting and it's nice to look up in the kitchen and see Master Pig there cooking along side me happily. I hear rumors that one of the founders also cooks but he has yet to make an appearance in the kitchen that i have seen. It does make since since i guess the food for the tavern and inn must come from somewhere as Master Pig seems a brewmaster only.

Anyhow, looks like i have trailed away from substance a bit. What else can i share? I've taken up the sketch again. I have completed my first peice, for a Master Jin. I only know him on the surface, and i think my sketch reflected that. He seems a nice gent, a cleric of Aeridin. I've traveled with him a few times, and am glad to know him. I have yet to deliver the sketch to him, but that will be soon. I hope he enjoys it. Being as rusty as i am, i hope i did the sketch justice. I've something in mind for a second sketch. The origoinal subjects of my first sketch seem to have drifted from my life. It saddens me, but i know how these things go. We should count ourselves lucky to have on friend stand by us for a month before their lives haul them away from our paths.

Ah.. that makes my think of my mysterious love whom i cannot share with you. I recall all of your questions from my last visit with a torn heart. I direly want to share with you all, but for reasons that are just but i cannot share, my love remains a secret. I hope that one day that will not be so, for it is my fondest wish to scream my caring from the mountian tops for all to hear. I think that our paths, his and mine, will remain close for some time, though i know in my heart that his will eventually drift from mine as father's once did from mother's. I have vowed to release him when that time comes, for i do not wish him suffering. He claims it that this time will never come, but it is something my heart cannot hear. I bide my time and enjoy what is granted and when it is over, i will be heart broken, but i rather that then not know him at all. He teases with his speakings of marriage and children. My heart leaps at these thoughts. I do not hold my breath however. Such commitments cannot be held i do not think.

I think i had better end this letter, as i cannot not think of anything to write but of him. That is dangerous given the need for secrecy. I will visit again soon, and write more often as well. You are in my prayers, my sibs, you and yours. Keep faith in Her and she will guide us safely back together in Balance again.

Her wind at your backs,

~lee

[Rowana]

Three women sat in Lady Brisbane's baby orchard, quietly watching the new lives there, and the old ones moving in to the safe haven. The peace and serenity the place brought to them seemed indicative of whatever amazing struggle purified the place. After a time of introspection, one of the women turned to another of them and begged a story. Again the bardress heard the request for a happy tale. She thought quietly for a few moments. Again this request fell short in the eyes of the bardress. She looked at the two partners, and thought of what she knew of them. Lady Mist and Lady Xeen... she nodded to herself and spent a moment searching her thoughts. A story occurred to her that she had not told in a long time. She cleared her throat and looked at the two ladies.


    Once long ago,  a maiden of renown beauty lived in a quiet village. She lived with her father, mother and 3 sisters. Her father was a powerful merchant, with a fleet of boats and a booming business. Mostly life was happy.As we all know, Lady Mist has her moments of calm and destruction... One venture, her father was out to see escorting a prize shipment, Lady Mist's temper struck. The fleet sank, every one of them in a violent storm and tidal waves. Her father was never heard from after leaving the docks. The family saddened at his disappearance, as you might imagine, clung to each other for support. But the loss of her husband, twisted the girls' mother. Not long after, her mother killed herself as well, leaving the four girls to fend for themselves.

     Thankfully, the eldest had been left in charge of a secret amount of money that allowed them to survive for a while, as they tried to figure out their fortunes. The eldest followed her heart, she became quite the warrioress. she soon found adventure and was gone for many moons at a time. The second daughter married quickly after her father's death to avoid any fall out. That left the two younger sisters to figure their fortunes.The third sister was something of a seamstress, so the two collaborated and tried their hand at tailoring women's dresses.After a few years and a rocky start they eventually made their own way. In fact they became famous for their work. Their work carried them straight back to where they had started from, high end of the merchanting class. Fate struck them again however.

    It happened that the two sisters fell in love with the same man. The man however only loved the beautiful daughter and it drove a wedge into the sister's relationship. One day, while walking through town the sisters fought, and eventually went their separate ways. The beautiful sister left her sister's business and married the gent she'd fallen for. But all was not well in the house that would be love, for the Gent was unfaithful and untrue to his wife, tho she did not know it. The older of the two sisters discovered the husband's treachery she instantly regretted all the fights, the loss of her sister and the bond between them. She swore to find a way to mend things and get her sister safely away from the horrible man. Try as she might, she could not get her sister to agree to see her. She mailed letters, and tried going to her house... she even met her in the market. It was all for not, as the younger sister wouldn't hear of anything she had to say.

    Finally desperate to save her sister, the seamstress went to her shop and began to sew. She didn't know what she was doing at first only that she had to do something! Eventually as she worked the fabric, an idea came to her. She prayed and began to sew. She stitched nonstop for days... When she was finished she had replicated an outfit of her sister's unfaithful husband, But it was no ordinary cloth. When she put the clothing on, she became the likeness of the man. She assured herself of it's quality, and left to visit her sister. She walk into the man's house and demanded her sister get dressed and that they leave right away. Puzzled, the sister did as she was asked, but it was unlike her husband to be so. The seamstress escorted her sister to one of the local taverns, one the husband was known to haunt, and sure enough, he was there, with one of the tavern girls, drunk as you please. But the beautiful sister refused to see as her husband was quite obviously right beside her. The seamstress told her sister to take ahold of the fabric and hold it tight... Her sister did so, more confused then before. As the beautiful sister held the fabric, the seamstress walked away. Slowly the fabric began to unravel  she walked around the tavern  in a slow circle, untill the fabric wrapped around the patrons and tables in a tangled mess. She stood naked in the end, watching her little sister and waiting to see what she might do. The tangled mess of string however, kept the patrons from moving. The husband was left wrapped in the arms and the string of the local prostitute. The beautiful sister was crushed and looked at the naked seamstress in tears. Unable to move she could not stop her sister from leaving the tavern.  

    Well, you might guess the danger involved in a naked woman leaving a tavern? By the time the youngest sister wrestled herself free from the confines of the magic cloth, her seamstress sister was no where to be found, gone as her father before, with out a trace. The last daughter, took up where her sister left off, at the shop and continued in her sisters name she renamed the shop for her sister, 'The Tangled Weave.'  The Tangled Weave again saw fame, and eventually the sister found happiness. Her life experiences lead her to true love despite her hardships. She had children and the most important lesson she could teach was that the bonds of love, such as family, kept one safe from the tangled webs of life.
 AnnaLee McGregger: *smiles at them slightly* that is the end.
 Abigail Ruzz:  a beautiful story...but its still sad
 Angela Swann: *smiles* lovely story dear
 AnnaLee McGregger: *nods* I am afraid that I'm not much able to complete happy tales.. I do try for a close approximation.

[Rowana]

*a note penned in careful manuscript of blue ink lays folded in the pack belonging to Lee. The sand has been brushed away after it dried the ink on the parchment, but tear stains still are moist on the surface.*

To Mother:

I have decided to write you a letter, Mother. Recent months have changed my life so significantly that i cannot carry this burden silently any longer. I have done my best to keep my word to you. Bethany and Johan have grown up strong and do well for themselves. I tried to make sure neither forgot your words of wisdom, your way of doing things, your love of Katia. Bethany was so young when you left our world. She used to cry at night, because she could not see your face in her heart any longer. I remember that was when i first took to charcoal, and after six or ten renditions, i finally had something that resembled you well enough that i could let it be. It hangs in her house still, where her children and husband can see as well. Johan, he remembers your voice most of all. We used to sing that lullaby you taught us all every night. After the tragedy that struck our home, i could not bare walls and roof. For a few months we camped, always traveling. When we reached Fort Hope, i finally realized we weren't traveling, we were running from the ache, and it was my fault. The name of 'hope' seemed appropriate so that is where we settled. We rented a place there for some time, and i tried to continue your teachings. Mine were not finished in so many ways, and i really wasn't ready be become a mother and provider. But, life is that way, happenings when we are not ready for them and we must grow to meet the challenge.

Seeing Bethany get married to her blacksmith was one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. I knew that union would be forever strong and that she was in good hands. I also knew that, had you been there to see it, little Beth would have been happier. She cried for you on that day, her heart suddenly going all to pieces. I reminded her that you were likely thinking of her as well on this day, just that we could not see you. I don't know how much my words helped her, but eventually we picked up her pieces and she made it through her wedding. Two littles she has now, cutest little buggers you ever saw.  

I missed Johan's wedding, but met with them shortly after. He has become like the willow we used to sit under. Flexible, and strong. He farms there now, in the area near Fort Hope and his wife happily expects their first little one. Johan sings that lullaby at night to his little one, even before it's birth. I look forward to the announcement any day now.

Both Bethany and Johan love Katia, and worship Her, continue our family's traditions in their new families.

I think that chapter of my life closes now, but the cause of it's writing... that is the part i cannot seem to pass from. Your death, the death of the rest of our siblings... these are the burden i cannot bare. The not knowing what happened, why did it happen.... A friend of mine i have met since coming to the city of Hlint, her family and home was also destroyed. She knows the causer, she knows what direction to take vengeance... She has her own burden to carry, her rage against those who caused her loss, and the bleed through it has, on every soul of that race. I cannot think how i might react if i knew what had happened to our home. I think in your not telling me, maybe you saved me from some battles as my friend now faces. I sometimes tell myself it must have been forces of Blood, just on their way through to some important place. Surely we would have heard of a city near being attacked or... something. So was it a marauding band of orcs? Was it an enemy of Katia, finding our home too much of a temptation to pass by? All in all, the image that haunts my mind, heart and soul... I can close my eyes and see it as though it happened today... I see my sibs, eight bodies laying in the fields... even the first one i saw, little Emery. Their expressions...  I remember the daze i was in as i stumbled on to you, as you guarded Johan and Bethany from our unknown enemy. The scene plays over and over in my mind, and the nightmares plague me nightly of what might have happened to our family. How can i close this chapter in my life with so many unanswered questions? How can i move on with my life, here when love has found me and i might be beginning my own family soon?

I began this letter seeking an answer, thinking in my writings i would find some solace in your wisdom that maybe i still carried with me. I find myself nearing the ending of the letter, as lost as ever. Have i lost my connection to you in the time since your passing? I can still feel your arms around me in your gentle hugs and i can still hear your laughter like clear bells. These images too are burned into my mind, these sounds still ring in my head. You always bade me go my own way, there was little you stopped me from. Is this also my time to find my own solution? You kept from me the answers to these questions i have, just as you kept me from town after it became apparent that schooling there was to damaging to my heart. Instead i learned from you and from Katia in her woods near our home. It was your way of protecting me, and you protect me still, your secrets taken with you to your grave. I guess i must try to see the wisdom in your actions, and go on with my life as you seem to want me to.

In these last few months, I became part of what they call, the Dragon Called. We are charged to work together and solve that which ails Layonara. These Dragon Called, set aside their personal goals for a time and work towards a time with out Blood, and many other new and ancient threats to the lives of all who live in our time. Yet you cannot set aside your entire life as though your past never occurred, and you cannot march as a construct soldier until all threats are gone. Your lives still happen. You still must have goals and you still must find the pleasure in life to balance out the pains. I have met true heroes in my time here, and aspire to find the path that leads me to contribute to the goal as they have done. I have memories that i will treasure forever already. That i can call some of these heroes friend, that i have made friends of other newly Dragon Called, and that i could help them all in some way, that they have spent their own precious time in this life helping me. So many images flash before my mind. It is in this time that lives that have touched mine that make me feel truly blessed. So i have become part of Hlint Stew. So many different lives, customs, loves, worships... all brought here, to mingle and cook until the final task is done. Will there ever not be a need for Hlint Stew, even when Blood is pushed from our lives? I think there will always be a need for a place like this, for as long as there are the various peoples of the lands. Some times even well meaning heroes cause great wrongs that must be righted after a time.

So where does this leave me? I am wondering at your wisdom, Mother. I am free of prejudice for the most part, because of your teachings. I think with out that aspect my life here would be hard, my perceptions untrue and my life bitter. All Lives are part of nature, and must be treated with respect, and we should enforce that by what ever means necessary. When one encroaches and disrupts the balance of nature, then they must be stopped. Katia's wisdom stretches beyond the trees and animals as most consider Her realm to be. We are all part of her, no birth or death goes unfelt by Her. The creatures of our world need a champion. I think i have met that one, and seek to support his cause in whatever way i can. I will admit to having been enamored by him for a time, but our paths were not meant to cross more then that of those with a common goal.

I have found happiness beyond my faith. I have exchanged vows privately with the one i love, and we have pledged to be together forever under the eyes of Katia. We discuss our future and what it may hold for us. We have many things to work through as we are two very different souls. We cannot deny the brightness in each other as time has passed, and i know him in a way i think no other can. It nearly was as if our souls were once part of the same and split asunder in to two lives. When we are together there seems to be nothing we cannot survive. I seek to make what moments we have together be the best moments of our lives. I hope to see that forever of which he speaks, though in my heart i know it may truly not be that long. He desires children, i think it tears at him that he has this chance at a life he never thought possible. Part of my heart wonders if i am a replacement for the love he lost before me. I hope this is an irrational fear. The more i hear of his past life, the more this fear takes root. I hear the words he used to comfort and bolster the lady he loved before me and they are true echoes of the words he tells me now. I push it away, burying it in the thoughts of the happy times we have. Add to this that most will not understand our love. I do not fear the opinions of my friends, for i know they will see our love and share in our happiness. But the rest will seek to add in their perceptions, and maybe that is his nature and the balance will be enduring what he has sown. I don't think the world would understand. It is my hope that knowing him and he knowing i, as we truly are, our secrets, our flaws and perfections, we will endure and earn the right of happiness.

Mother, i miss you more right now then i can stand. I wish you to be here to share in my happiness, because it is your light that guides me. I close my eyes and you are here with me, my heart fills my surroundings with your life. I live my life hoping you will see what you helped build and that you will be proud of me. As i carry on through life, i both mourn your early passing and continue to try and make you proud. I plan to find your grave again and those of my sibs. It is time to make my way back home. This letter, and perhaps more will make their way to you.

Your Loving Daughter,
~lee

[Rowana]

*scribed in blue ink in careful manuscript, and left at the door of Johan McGregger*

To Master Johan and family,   AnnaLee Ohartel'selu and Mith request your presence to witness their shared vows.

Please join them at the Bridge in High Forest on Tunar, Mar Third at 20:00. A short reception will follow at the Freelancers Tavern.

[Rowana]

// pardon the reshuffle due to time bubble//

Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,

We were successful in our work to help a new friend, Stuart, to match with his love in Port Hampshire. The gent in Fort Hope is now gone, I won't go into the sticky details other then to say it was a duel to the death between Stuart and Christian. The head of the assassins that were chasing us has called off her people, since her source of coin has run dry, but i think she will remember us for the next time we decide to support love and honor over profit.  I will again return to visiting home and i am excited to see the newest edition to our family!

Speaking of family, i am excited to tell you, Mith and i are expecting. I've known for some time, but with the trouble of the afore mentioned assassins, i didn't want you to worry overly. We are just now starting to go over some names, which he desires to have in elvish, due to his history. As i don't speak elvish i have been having him translate some words i like and then we discussed a few ideas. we settled on a few names i think. Laanilmma'Leviran which is starry night, Silveny'Laelv which is magic song, and Oileanir'Willnya which is faith dance. As a personal favorite i really liked Amecw'Irailman, wild heart, but i don't think he liked it as much. Some other words i liked, hope, Iretya, and change, Iyirillva. Well, i guess looking at these that doesn't make much since, i will pronounce all of this for you at my next visit.

I think i had better get some rest. This pregnancy seems to tire me much more then you, Bethany. Maybe i am not cut out for this. Mith says it could be two years before the baby comes, as that is the elvish decent speaking. I will let you know as i know anything more.

Katia keep you,
~lee