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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
How are your children, your spouces, yourselves? I apologize for my absence, but i found myself quite litterally plucked up out of the real world and into the world that should not exist. I can not write the true events, because i do not trust these message carriers. Suffice it to say, I've met someone who ma always told us about, but we never believe. Well not logically anyway, in our hoping hearts maybe.
Know that i am safe, and while lonesome for my loved ones, i am happy.
All my Love to you,
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
I hope this issue finds you well. I've found myself not far from you, in Fort Hope, and i will be comming to visit soon. I cannot stay, as i had origionally planned. It goes back to my proir letter, and when i manage to find a way to visit, i will explain in person. Make sure the Children are around, for it is an enchanting tale!
I do miss the feel of the soil beneath my hands, the smell of ox as we turn the land. Most of all i miss Mother, as i am sure you both feel as well. As bright as my days seem to be, filled with new experiences, mother and our sibs haunt my nights. I do not sleep well. I fear if i do not find a cure for this soon, i will fall ill. But do not worry, Big Sis will manage, and as always be there for you! I can't wait to see you all!
Katia keep you,
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
Can you believe it? Yes, that rag tag band all hailed from the town i told you about! I do hope the children setteled after i left, they seemed more excited then i thought they might be. I hope you can hear the smile in my voice, because i am still wearing that same smile. It was so wonderful to see you again. I miss you all more then ever. I find my adventurer's days filled with running from my sleepless nights. I've taken to skulking around the country side finding odd items that look useful. Most times it is with someone, but sometimes i am alone. The people of Hlint seem very friendly. They also seem to each be hiding some big secret. My first big day was today tho.
A dwarven clan by the name of Gnald, well two cousins anyway, took me by the hand and showed me some of the places i'd been looking for. They help me complete some tasks i'd agreed to do for coin and favor, and that has seemed to help my out look. I think the cousins were leary of me at first, tho Alymli Gnald seemed to warm quickest. The real breaking point was when i guess they decided i was more human then elf. I must not have the attitudes of the average half elf, what ever that is. I'm pleased just the same.
Well, my tired body screams for rest, so i will try to appease it. Be well and safe. Kiss the littles for me.
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
This one will be short. My apologies, but i am very tired. The dreams keep comming, and my sleep vanishes before i can lay to rest. I've moved out of the city tonight, as i used to before.... be fore we burried mother. Maybe Katia will take pity on me and help me find rest for my weary body. Even elves wern't made to withstand such punishment.
I find myself increasingly shy, and horribly depressed. Even the shining new faces seem to blur together. Today a kind gent and a young lady and all hunted together for something... i'm so thin i cannot remember what we were looking for. I cannot recall if i even introduced myself. The lady, her named stared with an "N" and it reminded me of natto, those sweet beans. The name of the gent, i don't believe he actually gave. He was very striking and kind.
Well i will go to my prayers to Katia, and the solace i will seek. All my love.
Your Big Sis,
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
I write to let you know i've finally rested some. It seems the forest suits me better, and i am able to rest most nights. Not to worry, i am careful as always, and even have an aquaintance or two. One is a little gal named Meira. She's helped me rally some forces to help some of the towns folk with various project. Another is the gent i mentioned earlier though he has a name. They call him Darkchild, but i think there is more to him then meets the casual eye. He offers me advice on some of the local trades that i might take up, yet i see him with such a gruff and hard exterior in front of so many others. Grympint, a very pleasant dwarf, has helped me with various projects, including keeping up with Darkchild, as he moves like the wind! I find my skills in healing are meager compaired to what these folks need, but i do try. I've had enough presence of mind to write a bit of a tune. It seems to have gone over well with some of my aquaintances here. You know i am poor with the lyrics except when the muse truely finds me, but these melodies really seem to bolster some moods. I catch myself peicing out new tunes every waking moment these days. Mother always said i had a bit of Bard in me. I dare to dream that i could achieve status as a Bard near here. I've not met any bards hailing from this town, tho that is not to say that they do not exist. Though truely, i'm a farmer at heart and most of all i miss my baking! i've found a kitchen here that i can use if i can find the supply. Also a young gent showed me how to prepair fish over the camp fire. I'd done land creatures before, but never fish. it was fairly tasty, tho i did undercook the first one. that was a little slimey going down, ugh.
well with that pleasant thought in mind, i will leave you. I feel i should hurry with this letter since you have undoubtedly been worried over my last few letters. I plan to visit again soon.
Love from your Big Sis,
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
Sorry it's been so long since my last writing. Much has changed since my last visit. I write this letter to let you know what is going on, but also to dig through my feelings and understand myself. I think some where along my path i have become lost. I call myself a Farmer and a Baker, yet i cannot get my head out of books, my mind out of adventures nor my heart out of song. While my songs are dirges and battle charges, they give me a relase my sowing, reaping, mixing and kneeding cannot match.
One of my aquaintances... nah, we will call him friend as he is the closest thing to a friend i have besides my beloved family. My friend, whom i think i have mentioned before visited with me this late evening. He meditates often at night, but invited me to come up on his perch to visit. He pointed out to me that maybe i should think, when was the last time i planted in my own soil, when was the last time i truely farmed? it was a life time ago, when you were but babes yourselves. Now that you are grown, have families of your own, maybe it's time i followed my passions?
I've embarked on a new path tonight i think. I will seek out stories like never before, and maybe i will write one of my own. I have some closely guarded desires about my path and who i may walk it with, but i will leave that for another letter.
I have grown in strength over the last few weeks. I am able to get to fort hope mostly on my own, tho i still prefer company on my trips. If you've need of me at any time, know i am but a letter away. i will try and keep in better touch through my journeys in the mean while, because my worried mind hovers over my sibs nearly constnatly.
my love,
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
How fare you and your families? I've not had a return letter in a while, i suppose that means my visits have been too spread out. I will endevor to come that way in the next week or so. I'm quite busy with things here, i've found quite a few folks in need of help i can provide. I think i'm just about the Postman's personal apprentice!
In the weeks past i've found several things. First and most important i managed to find my way to a forest near Hlint where a temple to Katia is! there are a few houses in the area, i've noticed as well. If i were to ever settle again i might do it in this area. You know how i've always loved camping and the woods. I'm not ready to plant roots just yet tho. i'm sure there is much more of the world to see before i find the perfect place. Shortly after finding this temple I bumped into (almost litterally!) none other then the great loremaster Ozymandias! My friend Meira and i were invited to listen to him tell a great story! It was inchanting both to hear him tell it, and the story it self. The end does not seem to be finished, so i am left hanging, hoping to hear the end soon! Not too many days after this experience did i meet Plenarius Ashaley, a servant to Katia. He has WINGS, like a bird! It's was amazing to see him fly! I am still tickled to death, and probably will be fore years, that i got to sit in on another spontanious story telling session which Plendarius began and Ozymandias came into later on! There were quite a few of us at that telling, most were locals. One of which was a reciently relocated Sea Elf, who i have taking to calling Lady Blue because i can't seem to remember *and* pronouce her real name. Another attendie i had the pleasure of meeting and visiting with was a fellow bardress Acacea. Her talent abounds! I'm really lucky to have been apart of that evening.
I've begun to get a feel for the areas, and i am starting to chart some areas where some of the wild grains and berries grow. With careful harvesting i think i might be able to start baking on the side again. I want to keep in practice so i don't forget how to bake mother's blackberry pie! i am sure i can discover some new recpies as well! I haven't found any tea plants or other such spices for drinks yet. I hope to soon, but i've no leads on where to start. There is a few towns that seem to have a community garden that i am fond of visiting and tending, namely Hlint, your own Fort Hope and Krandor. I've also started seeking some sorces of eggs and cream for my baking needs.
Well this letter has rambled on! I bet this last bit of news will make it a bit more interesting, i know how you two gossip. I've met someone i concider quite special. I'll not reveal the name at this time because i am not quite sure how he feels, nor if anything will come of it. I've made a personal commitment to help him as much as i can, as he has truely helped me. I'm trying not to build my hopes on something i do not quite understand, but keep the possiblities safely open. You know how compulsive i can be... it is hard not to just blurt out my feelings and throw cation to the wind. I am sure from some things he has said there are feelings on his part as well, but i do not know how deep they run, and it is my fear right now that i will chase him away with my openly strong feelings. It would be truely heartbreaking to loose him as a friend as well.
well that's enough excitement for one letter, there's more but i have things i need to get to!
Be Well,
~Lee
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A paper in AnnaLee's folder is the only markings of an evening spent in Awe and Wonder at the the Ceremoney of the Great Oak. It reads:
Our Calling, may we never forget
The Balance, healthy and strong
Our Hearts Desire
Our Love
Provides
The Great Sacrifice, forever remain
The Last Days, reflecting the change
Her Eyes will see
The Gift
Given
New Days Ahead, hope and fight
A New Sacrifice, with love, light
His Gift anew
The World
Sees
The Beauty, of heart and mind
The Place, purest and full
The Sacred Grove
Always remain
Serene
Our Hearts Desire, balance and green
Our Love's Desire, an end with peace
Her Eyes watch
Our Hearts
Fight
Of The Greatest Peace, all to seek
Our Bond we share, Gias to fill
His love and protection
Our Duty
Remains
One Prayer offered, Let it Be
One Praise cried, our balance remain
Many Hearts connect
Our Passion
Drives
With Great Sadness, reprieve too short
With Elation, sights pure Divine
All that remains,
BitterSweet Memories
It Ends
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
I appologize for my absence once more. I have a feeling as my path continues, this may happen from time to time. Don't you worry about it though. I've a couple of close friends who'd know to come to you should anything truely final happen with me. I've in works a letter to keep on my person that should i fall, all my posessions will come to the two of you. well, there will be a few exceptions, and they will be noted and those items will be going to the Temple of Katia.
Hmm, rereading that, it sounds aweful dark and gloomy like. It's probably just my mood and my desire to let you know i am thinking of you, mixing. I've not the heart to go into the details of my mood. I've had some, revelations, and it has darkened my outlook conciderably. However, i am probably the stronger for it all. I've faith in Katia and in myself to know that i can move on from all of this. Rest assured i will continue to do what i can to keep my family safe! You can't see it through this letter but i am smiling, i promise.
I've to go now, but i will send you another letter very soon.
~Lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
My news is sad for the family this writing. I am moving farther away. Much in fact. I've left to seek further service to Katia, my true love in life. Too many things have happened in Hlint for my mind to stay focused on the real tasks in Her name. The way rumors fly in that place about what ones intentions are or how one conducts one self is amazing and disheartening. It is also quite distracting.
On an effort to clear my mind so that my path will be there for me to see, i've Hiked up to Vale area, on Dregar. It's not so far that i can't come back to visit, but our letters will take longer to get back and forth. I will make a personal effort to visit in person more often. Its strange, before when the path was easy and i could trek it when it pleased me, i did not visit as often as i should have. Now that the road with be perilous and long i find my desire to return to you overwhelming. It is no matter, my service has first and always been to Katia. I suppuse you two know that. So i've to do what is best for those ends.
I've explored around the area a bit and found i should be quite able to live off the land as i have done in the past. There are many races of creture surrounding the Vale and some i have no wish to interfere with. There is a clan of Satyr near by, and i hope i can stay out of their territory as much as possible. i really have no desire to upset their balance. In Vale there is a Temple of Katia, and i am going to visit with the preistess there and see what purpose i can serve there. i suppose that should have been my first order of buisness but i didn't want to commit to something i could not achieve. I still may yet not be able to achieve these taskes, but i've seen a bit of the area, and i've a fighting chance.
as to my leaving of Hlint... It was heartbreaking. As many distractions and ache that i flee from to clear my path, i too have left behind good friends. I hope they can find it in their hearts to understand what i have done. With the way everyone travels it's truely hard to wait around and say good bye, because you never know who might not be returning for ages. I did get to say good by to Sir Caighd and Lady Dalia. Though i think if the two of them continue to work together as they have i'll be seeing them around Dregar soon. They are both most devout to their gods of Rofirein and Toran respectively. Lady Dalia has a kind heart to go with her convictions, and i think that makes a vast differeance between her and many of her brethren. Sir Caighd's convictions are very well balanced with his thoughfulness, as he proved a few weeks back when he and Master Ozymandias bantared a bit over Rofirein philosophy. Sir Caighd proved to be flexible and willing to listen. I think the two of them will go quite far in this world and i will be glad of it!
Master Ozymandias.. I will miss running into him in Hlint. He has so many insights that have opened my mind and in someways my heart. He's been able to say just the right things to make me question my motives and my actions. I think he's helped me find a stronger tie to Katia in the process. I think mostly i will miss the stories. Of course you know what kind of a fall i will take just to hear a good story! He's been a grand friend. Hopefully someday i will have the oportunity to repay him for all he has done.
Really, there are many people in Hlint i will miss. The more i think on it, the more i feel my decision was rash. But there's no help for it now. I'm here. I've made promises to Lady Ireth and Mister Jay to visit with them. They both have been stead fast friends through some large trials in my life. I owe them debts of friendship and gratitude. Lady Ireth has begun to teach me elvish, by the way, Bethany. I know you've always had a love for that language. When i visit i will share what i can. I'm sure you've no time for learning the whole language, but a few words to brighten you day, maybe here and there?
I've to finish my portrait of Lady Tegan and Mister Renji. It acutally seemed fitting to place Master Jin in there as well, so i've done so. I really hope the three don't mind. I expect there will be plenty of time for that in my upcomming days. There is also Grympint, my dwarven friend. He's quite devout to Vorax. He's a bit of a tough nut, but i've found him to be quite loyal to those he cares about, probably past was is safe for himself.
With out being able to recount whole stories, i can't really explain two whom i hope to call friend. Master Remiel and Master Plenarius. My heart isn't in it to tell these stories right now. I've enough sadness to cover up with this night. Some day soon, even just for the telling of it, so that i may move on. It's sort of all wraped up in the events of the last day or so that have left me spinning in confusion. When i can sort it all out and make sence of my thoughts i will assuredly tell the tale.
Well that is probably enough of a letter this time around! You two are busy with your lives and don't have time to sit around for too long!
Be Safe and keep those kids in good health.
~Lee
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*a letter has been started, no names in the addressing*
None of this will make any sence to you, but i felt the need to update you since my last letter. Since my Retreat to Vale i have been Drawn back to Hlint to help my friend Lady Ireth in her time of need. The problem she faces is a problem for all peoples. I know that it seems a minor menace compaired to the likes of Blood and his generals, but being inside the problem it is no less real or dangerous.
I have come to many understandings by this writing, including what it means to be a Rider. My Horse is Denial, and he is magnificant. My heart longs to see and feal him, hear his sweet nuzzles. I know that being connected like this may destroy me, but i cannot help the tie i feel to him. I don't think his desire is to hurt me. As of this writing Lady Ireth and Lady Rhynn are also Riders, Fear and Anger respectively. It has altered their personalities and i am sure my Sweet Denial has altered mine.
I will not let this stop my search for the root of what we not so fondly referr to Anxiety, all tho i know this is not his name. I also will not stop in my work to encourage respect and good will amongst the people of Mistone. Part of the cause to all of this trouble that besets us is the Hero complex that swirls around Gods, Gold and Glory. our perspective must alter, we must be in this to safe the everyman, and his families. The Spririt of Layonara is injured and must be healed before this or any other menace can be put to rest. A True Balance needs brought forth, one where Good and Evil, Chaos and Law are not at odds, but simply are and maybe, indistinguisable. With out this it matters not whom defeats Blood, Anxiety or any other menace, as the heart of all peoples will carry with it a hurt that will pass from one person to the next till we destroy ourselves.
It takes some effort to write this, many breaks to cool my thoughts so that i may face these hard issues. and there are many issues i simply cannot face. I count my blessings for not being in this alone, because this of all times, i am in need of help. Master Mith and Lady Ireth have been constant companions to me for weeks now. I'll not see them hurt through my lack of action, reguardless of my Sweet Denial. I do fear i will not be able to function normally for what ever time i have left. It seems anytime i am upsetted my mind wanders away from me and all i can do is follow it. i feel lost in a swirl of emotions i cannot control. one moment i am in tears, another my heart leaps for joy, and yet the next i cannot even recall my name.
I pray that Lady Katia will not abandon me for i need her connection most of all, it keeps me grounded to the reality, connected to what little wisdom and wit i posess. My prayer time is the most peaceful of all times, and i find myself sinking into it more and more. Is this also my Sweet Denial at work?
*the letter has no headder or ending. it simply just stops and sits in a parchment folder awaiting burn or mail.*
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*a second letter sits beside the previous letter, again with no headder or ending*
I feel disconnected from myself. My feelings seem walled away, my only desires to protect my friends and their loved ones. I no longer feel hunger, or thirst. I've no desire for flavor or creation. I stare at my peices in work hoping i will come around and again create. But nothing comes of it. I'm so tired. I merely wish to sleep. I wake many times in the night, but i have no reccolection of the dreams. I'm sure they are the same as always, My mother and sibs murdered and abused. it should be a blessing i suppose, in disguise, and i am sure it has something to do with Denial. however, a familar pain would be a blessed sensation. I sit and stare and think and try to puzzle the riddles. I can think of nothing else, but to save Denial, the Riders. My will to complete this is all that keeps me going. there is nothing else. I cannot hunt, fish.. gather.. bake.. nothing of my past seems attached. My world is grey and Koralawyn my only rage. I should have felt elation at my performance at the Freelancer's Tavern. For a time i thought i was happy, but now it seems empty.
My worry for the other Riders is consuming in their presence. it has come to a point where i can no longer concentrate with them near by. I fled from them the last time new information was brought. Their reactions were so sharp it as like a stabbing pain through my body. The more they spoke and worried and angered i could feel my self slipping further away. I fled. I hid from them. Master Ozymandias happend upon my hiding place. I know he might have had something to say at first, but i asked him not to speak. I feared his words might push me into the abyss of Nothingness once more. I would have forgotten it all, locked it away in some hidden cove of my mind. I spoke out loud to him, really for fear that i would forget and in hopes he could remind me when i returned to myself. He listened and offered perspective on my thoughts. Sometimes i do not understand his motives with any inkling. I would think in his very position he would leave competely out of this situation. His perspective is unique and i would never turn it away. I know i'm free to toss it away from me if i find it unuseful, but it is rarely that. eventually felt i had peiced some of the facts together correctly, even though i still feel as tho there is a large part of this that is gone from me. Like what is Solitary's connnection to Koralawyn. I must solve this riddle, or help those that can. I feel the only way to proceed now is to go with Ireth to Lake Tarn to see if she can find her daughter through their connection. Once done, we will have to carefully tread and find this place. In the meanwhile keeping all souls away from Pandimonium's gate is a must. Denial seems scared and angry, he knows that if the activity keeps up Koralawyn will block the portal competely and I fear Denial will be trapped there, kept from me. My soul is Lost with out his touch. I fear to call for him. I know he will sence my heartache and come to me. I fear for his safty, so i try not to even reach my thoughts to him. Through all of the grey feilds in my heart i do know that i love Denial. With out him, i cannot exist.
I've found some solace in Mith. He sits with me, nightly. He helps me keep my mind working. sometimes even offers some trek to keep me moving. I can feel his worry for the Riders, and especially Ireth. But somehow he keeps it tightly held so that it's not overbearing between us. I worry for his other problems, and i guess there is not much i can do but listen. I think between Mith and Remiel they've kept me eating, elsewise i would be a collapsed heep somewhere. I don't feel the hunger pains untill the damage is being done to my body. eventually i think i won't even feel it then. Mith has confessed strong feeling for me, but... I can't respond past care of a friend untill denial doesn't consume my heart. I do not know if that time will ever come. I cannot bare the thought of Denial leaving me even though i know him to be the cause of my distance from myself. I know i cannot trust any feeling for nothing makes sence. The sight of Plen drives denial and dread through my soul. I cannot but flee. I know i care for him strongly, though when asked i could not say why. I hardly know him. Before all of this i recall some kind of pull to him. It seems a push now. Maybe this has something to do with my taint, my loving bond with Denial. Does Katia not approve? I cannot escape the fear that i have lost favor with Katia because of my involvment. My Balance teaters and with each passing day i feel more lost. I used to find ground when near my friend Jay, but i've not seen him for months. I fear something has kept him away. I wish to seek him out, but i know not where to start. My stability seems teathered ironicly to Mith, whom i know to be a necromancer, and the other riders, whom also pull at my sanity, as well as i think to Remiel. His presence is fleeting usually, but his strength is felt none the less. Do i drift away from the Balance? or am i walking away from it? the only thing i hear from my heart is lost, loneliness, and quiet. My clammor of music fades, and only the lullaby remians. It gently pulls me away from the ache to a place where there is just... silence.
-
*written in sections over a time, it seems not a letter but a collection of thoughts to people she cannot speak with. letters written but not sent, a hope with out realization*
My Sweet Sibs how i miss you. My heart aches to hear your voices. My eyes hold traped emotions with which i cannot cry for. Misery of loss, Agony of seperation. Mother's spirit finally layed to rest, tho my dreams still haunt my resting hours. Loneliness eternal, untill the day Katia calls me home.
Of Katia, my greatest passion. My path is lost to me, though my drive to Balance pushes me on. I feel your wind at my back, holding me like a lover's embrace. I feel your faith in me, i stand solitary on heights with flame beside and water below. Hold my hand as my heart fades from me. Even a shell i wish to do your bidding. In service there is a balance of purpose and need. My path is not as i wished it, nor as you do, but i work to achieve for you. I will find my way home or die in the trying. Don't loose faith in me, for it is all that ties me here, cut me loose and i will fade from view, purpose and deed. My taint balances my means.
My love- I feel lost to you. I cannot stand the immaculate glow of your presence, it drives dread of loss and fear of rejection to the soul of me. I pray Katia keeps you Safe, and that you return to me, even tho the space is empty, i long to stand there. I know a loneliness in you, and i desire to heal that wound. In servies to the Katia i hope my ripples touch the shore near you. It is as close as Denial lets me come to you. Bonded to his soul with mine i must obey. Sucess depending, even then i cannot know my guarded heart only in that i am torn to stand or flee.
To My Brother found- thank you for your blessed strength, your silence and your questions. In you there is compassion and caring irreguardless of the things i hear. I try to lean as little as possible, but knowing i can flee to you and flee with you away from the madness is a comfort.
My Sisters in bond- Excuse my actions. Know that i care for you, more then beyond my own needs. I want to see you happy and free from the taint that plagues your lives. You each have so much to look forward to and it pains me so to see your troubles compound each day! My own Denial holds me close and it is hard to see past his needs to the needs of others. I feel drained of strength, yet i know to help him i must give in. as we all must. what strength i have left goes to your support, and know i will do anything to keep your futures from fading.
Mith- a little of your darkness fades every day. i fear for it's return. My own heart darkens as it locks down, i cannot see what pain it brings you untill it's too late. i try, but i only have so much strength. My sisters in bond need what little i have, even if it burns the life from me. Denial needs my heart, my sisters my strength. with out my heart i've no music, no words. That leaves you only my patience and the ghost of caring. Know that it is not enough for what you do. Know that some how i will repay your kindness and your loyalty, some token or tribute... forgive me that my words now cannot be enough, that my heart cannot show you anything. The Ghost of caring, i hope it folds you in her arms and comforts you when the pain comes from my actions.
Jay- your absence plagues me with worry as much as anything that can sink through in my state. you are a warrior strong but i fear for your safe return. get word to me of you. My friend of Friends, in my time of need, even your spirit comforts me when you cannot.
Ozymandias- i try to care little for what other's opinions of you bring and keep it from my perspective. I know that few can really understand your motives and your will. I take your guidence for what it is, a challenge to grow. i accept it gladly, whole heartedly. i hope never to dissappoint. your gift of silence is more than anything.
there are many many others around me, and i cannot hope to guess you all. there is a message of hope, some semblance of appology, a visage of anger, and aspects of hatred. you cannot know your affects with out thinking of others. some have helped for greed, some have helped of kindness. know your hearts and then know what i send with you. there is no way for me to express to you your deeds or misdeeds. knowing you will never read my words infuriates me. knowing i cannot speak them saps me of my desire further. my music bleed from me like the blood from my body as it drains down my arms and legs. i see a carnal remains in my mind's eye, of my own. know that this reality is brought on by your actions as much as my own. my own hand acts your will, and whether it presents a healing touch or cuts my own flesh, it is your will inflicted upon my unguarded soul. survival bends on your deeds, thoughtless or soulful. if it is not my survival, then Denial will seek out some other. i give it my all and pray. my words fall on deaf ears, and my pain swirls inside my heart with no place to go. again my vision of my remains appears before me. it will be my own last action, that Denial will find someone with the strength to battle you as i cannot. i'll not burdon him and keep him from his needs, for He is my Love, apart of my Soul and i will not let the actions of others stop him from his needs. I will allow a stronger Rider to prevail and save him. Inflict only soulful deeds and honesty please, i beg of you. to those that do already, and hero's epic you deserve.
my music is faded, my lullaby comforts no more. the silence is deafening. preferring it now, the silence. with no melody and no harmonies, i cannot feel the rest. no longer the trees sing, only the memorie of their song comforts me now. when that fades so to, the light in me.
-
*penned carefully shortly after the event occured, Lee hoped to correctly recall the events as they transpired that lazy afternoon.*
In the lazy after noon sun of Hlint the town bussled with adventurers, treasure hunters, and good samaratins a like. A lone bardress sat atop the open guard tower in her usual spot looking on as the activity ensued below her. Movement behind her on the tower drew her attention. A friend approached her a slight smile on his face. He greeted her and they chatted a moment, their topics falling on subjects neither really wished to discuss. The friend and the bardress fell silent a moment. She studied the grey tones of his clothing thinking to herself how he wore a swath of the emotions she felt. Her friend looked up at her after a moments silence and asked her to spin him a tale. A happy tale he requested. The bardress adjusted her position to better face her friend, and thought quietly. A tale that often inspired her came to mind, tho she hardly condidered it a 'happy tale.' As she could think of no other tale that fit the request she closed her eyes and recalled the details to her. She hoped in the back of her mind as she prepaired for the telling that her grey friend might find a similar inspiration with in the telling. She began to speak slowly drawing the details of the story to her like silk treads pulled from their pods. Her friend fell silent, his eyes locked on her and he smiled slightly.
Once long ago... a lady lived in her past husband's home. she lived there with her three children, a son and two daughters. The son, though not the eldest, aspired to be the man of the house. He was strong and careful of his Ladies. Their land was small and easily worked, and the stream that ran near by provided for them as well. Though lonely, mostly it was happiness. As the boy came of age, and his sisters married, he worried for his mother. She was heart broken after the loss of her husband. He knew that he could not in good concious marry and bring more work into the house for she was ailing. He spent many days thinking on the subject. Eventually he admitted he could think of nothing. He loved his mother very much, so it broke his heart to see her so. One night after his sisters and their husbands had left for the evening, he sat with her. She was in meloncholy, tho no tears fell. He tried to sooth her ache wih jokes and with memories, but nothing seemed to sink in to her sadness. Out of despiration, he scooped up his mother, for she was small and frail in her loss.
He pulled her close and left the house with her. for an hour they walked, his mother lay limply. He talked as he walked with her, telling her of the things he saw. After a time his legs grew tired, and his arms began to ache, for though she was small she did weigh a bit. He found a suitable place to lay his mother, proped aganst a tree. He sat down next to her and held her hand, and he began to cry silently. She heard his quite sobs however, and looked up to him and smiled gently
"Why do you cry so, my son?" she asked him. He looked up at her wiping the tears from his cheeks.
"Mother, i worry for you. For years your heart has been broken and yet you toil away to look after your children. you have given so much. Surely there is a way to repay you." Her expression sofened, and she touched her son's face.
"My son, do not fret for me. There is naught possible but joining with your father again that would mend this weary heart. His heart droped at her words.
However, they were not alone in the forest that night. When the boy gathered his mother to take her home, it followed them. It watched them for days. It saw how the boy respected and honored his mother and how she in turn cared for her children despite her obvious sadness. It decided to offer them a test with possible reward. The spirit appeared to the boy as an old man. The old man approached their house from out of the woods and begged for a moments rest on their farm. The boy agreed and helped the old man to a chair. The boy did not ask the old man's purpose but addressed him with respect and allowed the old man to spin his tale. The boy offered the old man water and even shared with him a meal. When the boy's lunchen meal was gone and the old man had had a proper rest he stood to leave. The boy asked him his name, but the old man merely said that he was no one, but that he could not appretiate the attention and care more. he promised to return the next day with a reward. The boy really thought nothing of it, and spoke little of the old man to his mother at supper, but return he did the next day, as promised.
In his arms, the old man carried a small roughspun sack. The old man smiled to the boy, and told him in the sack was his fondest wish. The old mad said because his mother raised him so and that he cared for strangers as he would his family, he deserved such a reward. Puzzled the boy waved to the old man as he left and did not think of it again till supper. As he sat down to the table for supper he set the bag down. his mother looked at him curiously and asked where he had gotten it.
"Curious thing, Mother. That old man i mentioned last evening? He returned today with this to show is gratitude for my kindness. He said my mother raised me well, and that i deserved my hearts desire" but then he frowned. "I have been afraid to open it these last few moments. i cannot think such a package could hold my fondest wish." His mother smiled.
"Well that is quite a compliment none the less. Open it up and let us see what trinket the nice man brought you." Dutifully, tho worried, the son opened up the sack. In side was a small carving carefully wrapped, of a majestic falcon. It had the inscription reading " for your mother, because you deserve happiness." The boy looked it over and handed it to his mother.
"It's for you," he said bemused. She took the statue and looked it over, she commented how lovely it was. She held it up to the light and she and the statue began to glow. After a few moments the statue vanished as tho joining into her hand. The son, worried for his mother and sprang to her side, but she smiled at him gently. The spirit appeared to them standing just behind his mother.
"For the end of her days, your mother may take flight like a bird. When her sadness overwhelms her she will always have an escape for the skies are filled with wonders untold." The boy stared at the spirit and then turned to his mother, who stood smiling at him. Gracefully she huged him and walked to the door of their house. He ran to open it, though he was still awestruck. Out she stepped and as she looked into the sky, a Golden Falcon she did become
the metamophasis took hold of her like a water's carress. She launched into the air, flying till he could see her no longer. The boy turned back to the spirite in wonder.
"How could this be?
"Young man, your foundest wish was for the happiness of your mother. Her fondest wish was to fly. While her husband waits for her to be finished in this Plane, she will find solace in her flights and you will find solace in your future.
"This is too much, how can i repay you?" the boy asked, shocked and greatful. The spirit smiled kindly at the boy.
"Raise up your children and teach them as you were taught. Keep hope alive in the world and my debt will be repayed." And with that the spirit vanished, and they never did see him again.
The boy found love and a family he did raise. He was good to his word, and he raised his children as his mother had raised him. When is mother died, she passed quietly and with a smile. She found happiness and when she moved on to the side her god, it was peaceful. The Golden Falcon for ever remaind the family crest, in honor of worthy people.
AnnaLee McGregger: *she smiles at Talen*
Talen Sgath: *smiles back* That was very nice, Lee.
AnnaLee McGregger: i hoped it would qualify... there are not many 'happy' stories in my collection, but bittersweet i can manage *smiles*
Talen Sgath: It was just what I had hoped for. *smiles*
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
It's been months! I'm terribly sorry. I've had such and adventure the likes of which you will not believe. Many things have happened, so many things...
At the time of this writing many parts of this adventure are too fresh for me to discuss openly, but my world perspective has opened tremendously. I've shared my soul with another soul. I've made ties believe will last forever, some i'd concider family. I've lost some friends whom i wish i would have been able to keep. I've found love unconditional. I've exeperienced true loss, as my soul was seperated from the one which i shared mine with. I've been close to the end of my strength, wanting to pass over into Katia's arms. All of these things i have experienced, and lived. My perspective has shifted and i see so many things in a different light.
I do not yet feel whole, and i think that will take some time. I think quite a few trips to visit are called for as well. I've missed you all terribly, the lights in the children's eyes as stories are told, songs are taught, the mirth and joy of being home. Through all of this grand adventure, it has only been made more clear what is truely important. Company of a good friend, true love, enjoying peace when it's there, reaching out to those in need, being true to yourself, and seizing the moment, espeically when it's going to make you cry. My biggest lesson? Your never too small, or too weak to make a differance. I've heard myself tell others, but now i believe it of myself as well.
When next i visit i will share with you Elezandor's Tale. I've still a few details to work out that i don't understand so that i might bring you as close a perspective as i can, for truth. It was a fantastic journey that lead me through a life i'd never thought of.
I will visit this week, but my visit on this trip might be short. I've to travel to Rilara and meet with the Freelancers. I've agreed to be a part of their organization, and i think there is much work to be done there. Best of all, i get to help by baking, and tale spinning! Maybe i will find a niche here.
Between the Freelancers, my friends and my new found love, i believe anything is possible.
On that high note i will let you back to your duties. Look for me to visit this week. I've a couple of treats to share with the littles, i'm sure they will enjoy. Please take care of yourselves and your families. I look forward to the visit!
Katia's wind at your back,
~lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
The last visit was far to short. You all are so different in my eyes after the long absence. If anything i love my family more then ever. The children and their antics are a precious addition to my days there. I found myself marveling at how you had grown up, and it seemed all at once sudden to me that you are both married and have children of your own. It as been near twenty years since mother's passing and that of our sibs. The wound still tears at me daily, and i think that is part of the reason it has come upon me so suddenly how adult you two are. You certianly don't need my mother henning as you once did. You live your lives daily with out me. The timing is curious... i have before me an oportunity to live my life for my own happiness, something i could not do while fulfilling my vow to our mother, to tend you two and see you safely to your own lives. There are certianly no regrets on my part short of wishing i could have some how done more for you two. I hope you both realize i did my best for you both, and will continue to do so. You know i am but a letter away...
I think this letter is already focused on the introspective. I hope you don't mind if i run with that. I have so many things that i want to say, but cannot for various reasons. Rather then fill the letter with nonsence and nothing, i will try for substance. Mother would certianly laugh to see me writing this way. She certianly tried to push in good grammar and content. To hear me speak of course, it only takes me a few moments in your presence or in the the presance of a strong emotion and my fine teachings fly out replaced by my country speach. I laugh at myself of course, but it is that part of me i can't seem to let go. I still think as a farmer. I think i hold to it because if the things it reminds me of. Salt of the earth they say, my roots. I look at the heros and samaritins and those others who are driven by baser needs. It soothes me to recall my roots. I've a good friend Treana, who hails from a farming community as well. I find we have similar bits of wisdom and even similar phrasings. She is a master with color and silk. She seems to draw on her tailoring skills as a artist paints canvas. I think it comforts me to know her, knowing that it wasn't a fluke that a farmer was pulled to this place. We've spoken of things as crop yeild and cultural traditions. Ours are quite different in one respect and entirly similar in another. She and i, birds of a feather i think. Her passions do drive her for the hunt, and that is one way we are incredibly different.
My desire for the hunt has completely gone from me. I can't even hunt game as i once did for the family. My 'hunt' is now revolves around berries and lore. In honesty i havn't found another soul here who carries this passivenes. I find myself in want to heal the enemy, in battle that does not have a clear cause in my heart, i am a danger to my companions. I have refrained from assisting in all but the truest causes. I find myself worrying that i will allienate myself from others because of this.. in fact i see it happening already. I think i find some solace in the guild i have committed to. They have a strong backing in crafting and it's nice to look up in the kitchen and see Master Pig there cooking along side me happily. I hear rumors that one of the founders also cooks but he has yet to make an appearance in the kitchen that i have seen. It does make since since i guess the food for the tavern and inn must come from somewhere as Master Pig seems a brewmaster only.
Anyhow, looks like i have trailed away from substance a bit. What else can i share? I've taken up the sketch again. I have completed my first peice, for a Master Jin. I only know him on the surface, and i think my sketch reflected that. He seems a nice gent, a cleric of Aeridin. I've traveled with him a few times, and am glad to know him. I have yet to deliver the sketch to him, but that will be soon. I hope he enjoys it. Being as rusty as i am, i hope i did the sketch justice. I've something in mind for a second sketch. The origoinal subjects of my first sketch seem to have drifted from my life. It saddens me, but i know how these things go. We should count ourselves lucky to have on friend stand by us for a month before their lives haul them away from our paths.
Ah.. that makes my think of my mysterious love whom i cannot share with you. I recall all of your questions from my last visit with a torn heart. I direly want to share with you all, but for reasons that are just but i cannot share, my love remains a secret. I hope that one day that will not be so, for it is my fondest wish to scream my caring from the mountian tops for all to hear. I think that our paths, his and mine, will remain close for some time, though i know in my heart that his will eventually drift from mine as father's once did from mother's. I have vowed to release him when that time comes, for i do not wish him suffering. He claims it that this time will never come, but it is something my heart cannot hear. I bide my time and enjoy what is granted and when it is over, i will be heart broken, but i rather that then not know him at all. He teases with his speakings of marriage and children. My heart leaps at these thoughts. I do not hold my breath however. Such commitments cannot be held i do not think.
I think i had better end this letter, as i cannot not think of anything to write but of him. That is dangerous given the need for secrecy. I will visit again soon, and write more often as well. You are in my prayers, my sibs, you and yours. Keep faith in Her and she will guide us safely back together in Balance again.
Her wind at your backs,
~lee
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Three women sat in Lady Brisbane's baby orchard, quietly watching the new lives there, and the old ones moving in to the safe haven. The peace and serenity the place brought to them seemed indicative of whatever amazing struggle purified the place. After a time of introspection, one of the women turned to another of them and begged a story. Again the bardress heard the request for a happy tale. She thought quietly for a few moments. Again this request fell short in the eyes of the bardress. She looked at the two partners, and thought of what she knew of them. Lady Mist and Lady Xeen... she nodded to herself and spent a moment searching her thoughts. A story occurred to her that she had not told in a long time. She cleared her throat and looked at the two ladies.
Once long ago, a maiden of renown beauty lived in a quiet village. She lived with her father, mother and 3 sisters. Her father was a powerful merchant, with a fleet of boats and a booming business. Mostly life was happy.As we all know, Lady Mist has her moments of calm and destruction... One venture, her father was out to see escorting a prize shipment, Lady Mist's temper struck. The fleet sank, every one of them in a violent storm and tidal waves. Her father was never heard from after leaving the docks. The family saddened at his disappearance, as you might imagine, clung to each other for support. But the loss of her husband, twisted the girls' mother. Not long after, her mother killed herself as well, leaving the four girls to fend for themselves.
Thankfully, the eldest had been left in charge of a secret amount of money that allowed them to survive for a while, as they tried to figure out their fortunes. The eldest followed her heart, she became quite the warrioress. she soon found adventure and was gone for many moons at a time. The second daughter married quickly after her father's death to avoid any fall out. That left the two younger sisters to figure their fortunes.The third sister was something of a seamstress, so the two collaborated and tried their hand at tailoring women's dresses.After a few years and a rocky start they eventually made their own way. In fact they became famous for their work. Their work carried them straight back to where they had started from, high end of the merchanting class. Fate struck them again however.
It happened that the two sisters fell in love with the same man. The man however only loved the beautiful daughter and it drove a wedge into the sister's relationship. One day, while walking through town the sisters fought, and eventually went their separate ways. The beautiful sister left her sister's business and married the gent she'd fallen for. But all was not well in the house that would be love, for the Gent was unfaithful and untrue to his wife, tho she did not know it. The older of the two sisters discovered the husband's treachery she instantly regretted all the fights, the loss of her sister and the bond between them. She swore to find a way to mend things and get her sister safely away from the horrible man. Try as she might, she could not get her sister to agree to see her. She mailed letters, and tried going to her house... she even met her in the market. It was all for not, as the younger sister wouldn't hear of anything she had to say.
Finally desperate to save her sister, the seamstress went to her shop and began to sew. She didn't know what she was doing at first only that she had to do something! Eventually as she worked the fabric, an idea came to her. She prayed and began to sew. She stitched nonstop for days... When she was finished she had replicated an outfit of her sister's unfaithful husband, But it was no ordinary cloth. When she put the clothing on, she became the likeness of the man. She assured herself of it's quality, and left to visit her sister. She walk into the man's house and demanded her sister get dressed and that they leave right away. Puzzled, the sister did as she was asked, but it was unlike her husband to be so. The seamstress escorted her sister to one of the local taverns, one the husband was known to haunt, and sure enough, he was there, with one of the tavern girls, drunk as you please. But the beautiful sister refused to see as her husband was quite obviously right beside her. The seamstress told her sister to take ahold of the fabric and hold it tight... Her sister did so, more confused then before. As the beautiful sister held the fabric, the seamstress walked away. Slowly the fabric began to unravel she walked around the tavern in a slow circle, untill the fabric wrapped around the patrons and tables in a tangled mess. She stood naked in the end, watching her little sister and waiting to see what she might do. The tangled mess of string however, kept the patrons from moving. The husband was left wrapped in the arms and the string of the local prostitute. The beautiful sister was crushed and looked at the naked seamstress in tears. Unable to move she could not stop her sister from leaving the tavern.
Well, you might guess the danger involved in a naked woman leaving a tavern? By the time the youngest sister wrestled herself free from the confines of the magic cloth, her seamstress sister was no where to be found, gone as her father before, with out a trace. The last daughter, took up where her sister left off, at the shop and continued in her sisters name she renamed the shop for her sister, 'The Tangled Weave.' The Tangled Weave again saw fame, and eventually the sister found happiness. Her life experiences lead her to true love despite her hardships. She had children and the most important lesson she could teach was that the bonds of love, such as family, kept one safe from the tangled webs of life.
AnnaLee McGregger: *smiles at them slightly* that is the end.
Abigail Ruzz: a beautiful story...but its still sad
Angela Swann: *smiles* lovely story dear
AnnaLee McGregger: *nods* I am afraid that I'm not much able to complete happy tales.. I do try for a close approximation.
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*a note penned in careful manuscript of blue ink lays folded in the pack belonging to Lee. The sand has been brushed away after it dried the ink on the parchment, but tear stains still are moist on the surface.*
To Mother:
I have decided to write you a letter, Mother. Recent months have changed my life so significantly that i cannot carry this burden silently any longer. I have done my best to keep my word to you. Bethany and Johan have grown up strong and do well for themselves. I tried to make sure neither forgot your words of wisdom, your way of doing things, your love of Katia. Bethany was so young when you left our world. She used to cry at night, because she could not see your face in her heart any longer. I remember that was when i first took to charcoal, and after six or ten renditions, i finally had something that resembled you well enough that i could let it be. It hangs in her house still, where her children and husband can see as well. Johan, he remembers your voice most of all. We used to sing that lullaby you taught us all every night. After the tragedy that struck our home, i could not bare walls and roof. For a few months we camped, always traveling. When we reached Fort Hope, i finally realized we weren't traveling, we were running from the ache, and it was my fault. The name of 'hope' seemed appropriate so that is where we settled. We rented a place there for some time, and i tried to continue your teachings. Mine were not finished in so many ways, and i really wasn't ready be become a mother and provider. But, life is that way, happenings when we are not ready for them and we must grow to meet the challenge.
Seeing Bethany get married to her blacksmith was one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. I knew that union would be forever strong and that she was in good hands. I also knew that, had you been there to see it, little Beth would have been happier. She cried for you on that day, her heart suddenly going all to pieces. I reminded her that you were likely thinking of her as well on this day, just that we could not see you. I don't know how much my words helped her, but eventually we picked up her pieces and she made it through her wedding. Two littles she has now, cutest little buggers you ever saw.
I missed Johan's wedding, but met with them shortly after. He has become like the willow we used to sit under. Flexible, and strong. He farms there now, in the area near Fort Hope and his wife happily expects their first little one. Johan sings that lullaby at night to his little one, even before it's birth. I look forward to the announcement any day now.
Both Bethany and Johan love Katia, and worship Her, continue our family's traditions in their new families.
I think that chapter of my life closes now, but the cause of it's writing... that is the part i cannot seem to pass from. Your death, the death of the rest of our siblings... these are the burden i cannot bare. The not knowing what happened, why did it happen.... A friend of mine i have met since coming to the city of Hlint, her family and home was also destroyed. She knows the causer, she knows what direction to take vengeance... She has her own burden to carry, her rage against those who caused her loss, and the bleed through it has, on every soul of that race. I cannot think how i might react if i knew what had happened to our home. I think in your not telling me, maybe you saved me from some battles as my friend now faces. I sometimes tell myself it must have been forces of Blood, just on their way through to some important place. Surely we would have heard of a city near being attacked or... something. So was it a marauding band of orcs? Was it an enemy of Katia, finding our home too much of a temptation to pass by? All in all, the image that haunts my mind, heart and soul... I can close my eyes and see it as though it happened today... I see my sibs, eight bodies laying in the fields... even the first one i saw, little Emery. Their expressions... I remember the daze i was in as i stumbled on to you, as you guarded Johan and Bethany from our unknown enemy. The scene plays over and over in my mind, and the nightmares plague me nightly of what might have happened to our family. How can i close this chapter in my life with so many unanswered questions? How can i move on with my life, here when love has found me and i might be beginning my own family soon?
I began this letter seeking an answer, thinking in my writings i would find some solace in your wisdom that maybe i still carried with me. I find myself nearing the ending of the letter, as lost as ever. Have i lost my connection to you in the time since your passing? I can still feel your arms around me in your gentle hugs and i can still hear your laughter like clear bells. These images too are burned into my mind, these sounds still ring in my head. You always bade me go my own way, there was little you stopped me from. Is this also my time to find my own solution? You kept from me the answers to these questions i have, just as you kept me from town after it became apparent that schooling there was to damaging to my heart. Instead i learned from you and from Katia in her woods near our home. It was your way of protecting me, and you protect me still, your secrets taken with you to your grave. I guess i must try to see the wisdom in your actions, and go on with my life as you seem to want me to.
In these last few months, I became part of what they call, the Dragon Called. We are charged to work together and solve that which ails Layonara. These Dragon Called, set aside their personal goals for a time and work towards a time with out Blood, and many other new and ancient threats to the lives of all who live in our time. Yet you cannot set aside your entire life as though your past never occurred, and you cannot march as a construct soldier until all threats are gone. Your lives still happen. You still must have goals and you still must find the pleasure in life to balance out the pains. I have met true heroes in my time here, and aspire to find the path that leads me to contribute to the goal as they have done. I have memories that i will treasure forever already. That i can call some of these heroes friend, that i have made friends of other newly Dragon Called, and that i could help them all in some way, that they have spent their own precious time in this life helping me. So many images flash before my mind. It is in this time that lives that have touched mine that make me feel truly blessed. So i have become part of Hlint Stew. So many different lives, customs, loves, worships... all brought here, to mingle and cook until the final task is done. Will there ever not be a need for Hlint Stew, even when Blood is pushed from our lives? I think there will always be a need for a place like this, for as long as there are the various peoples of the lands. Some times even well meaning heroes cause great wrongs that must be righted after a time.
So where does this leave me? I am wondering at your wisdom, Mother. I am free of prejudice for the most part, because of your teachings. I think with out that aspect my life here would be hard, my perceptions untrue and my life bitter. All Lives are part of nature, and must be treated with respect, and we should enforce that by what ever means necessary. When one encroaches and disrupts the balance of nature, then they must be stopped. Katia's wisdom stretches beyond the trees and animals as most consider Her realm to be. We are all part of her, no birth or death goes unfelt by Her. The creatures of our world need a champion. I think i have met that one, and seek to support his cause in whatever way i can. I will admit to having been enamored by him for a time, but our paths were not meant to cross more then that of those with a common goal.
I have found happiness beyond my faith. I have exchanged vows privately with the one i love, and we have pledged to be together forever under the eyes of Katia. We discuss our future and what it may hold for us. We have many things to work through as we are two very different souls. We cannot deny the brightness in each other as time has passed, and i know him in a way i think no other can. It nearly was as if our souls were once part of the same and split asunder in to two lives. When we are together there seems to be nothing we cannot survive. I seek to make what moments we have together be the best moments of our lives. I hope to see that forever of which he speaks, though in my heart i know it may truly not be that long. He desires children, i think it tears at him that he has this chance at a life he never thought possible. Part of my heart wonders if i am a replacement for the love he lost before me. I hope this is an irrational fear. The more i hear of his past life, the more this fear takes root. I hear the words he used to comfort and bolster the lady he loved before me and they are true echoes of the words he tells me now. I push it away, burying it in the thoughts of the happy times we have. Add to this that most will not understand our love. I do not fear the opinions of my friends, for i know they will see our love and share in our happiness. But the rest will seek to add in their perceptions, and maybe that is his nature and the balance will be enduring what he has sown. I don't think the world would understand. It is my hope that knowing him and he knowing i, as we truly are, our secrets, our flaws and perfections, we will endure and earn the right of happiness.
Mother, i miss you more right now then i can stand. I wish you to be here to share in my happiness, because it is your light that guides me. I close my eyes and you are here with me, my heart fills my surroundings with your life. I live my life hoping you will see what you helped build and that you will be proud of me. As i carry on through life, i both mourn your early passing and continue to try and make you proud. I plan to find your grave again and those of my sibs. It is time to make my way back home. This letter, and perhaps more will make their way to you.
Your Loving Daughter,
~lee
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*scribed in blue ink in careful manuscript, and left at the door of Johan McGregger*
To Master Johan and family, AnnaLee Ohartel'selu and Mith request your presence to witness their shared vows.
Please join them at the Bridge in High Forest on Tunar, Mar Third at 20:00. A short reception will follow at the Freelancers Tavern.
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// pardon the reshuffle due to time bubble//
Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
We were successful in our work to help a new friend, Stuart, to match with his love in Port Hampshire. The gent in Fort Hope is now gone, I won't go into the sticky details other then to say it was a duel to the death between Stuart and Christian. The head of the assassins that were chasing us has called off her people, since her source of coin has run dry, but i think she will remember us for the next time we decide to support love and honor over profit. I will again return to visiting home and i am excited to see the newest edition to our family!
Speaking of family, i am excited to tell you, Mith and i are expecting. I've known for some time, but with the trouble of the afore mentioned assassins, i didn't want you to worry overly. We are just now starting to go over some names, which he desires to have in elvish, due to his history. As i don't speak elvish i have been having him translate some words i like and then we discussed a few ideas. we settled on a few names i think. Laanilmma'Leviran which is starry night, Silveny'Laelv which is magic song, and Oileanir'Willnya which is faith dance. As a personal favorite i really liked Amecw'Irailman, wild heart, but i don't think he liked it as much. Some other words i liked, hope, Iretya, and change, Iyirillva. Well, i guess looking at these that doesn't make much since, i will pronounce all of this for you at my next visit.
I think i had better get some rest. This pregnancy seems to tire me much more then you, Bethany. Maybe i am not cut out for this. Mith says it could be two years before the baby comes, as that is the elvish decent speaking. I will let you know as i know anything more.
Katia keep you,
~lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
Well over a year has past and so many things have changed, including my perspective. Long gone are my dreams of simply becoming what i once was. The path to becoming whole again has led me to a place were, more then ever i am needed. Many things i have my efforts in i cannot discuss. However, there is the efforts for Roldem as i have mentioned in my far too far away visits. I recently made a pass through Roldem with Lady Jennara and revisited the damages done there, and the works we have before us. I won't lie, i am overwhelmed. I think Lady Jennara is as well, she has been working with Roldem for far longer then i have even been in Hlint. Her strength amazes me. I have been fortunate to work with her. I will come with the story she told me of the battle for Roldem as soon as i am able. The project of Roldem Relief will take many months, i am looking forward to actually being able to be amongst the people who need us. The High Druid of that area said she would be able to contact Druids willing to help us work with restoring the land as we work to restore the people. This eases a great worry of mine. She has also made many commitments of personal help. As the trickle of help comes in we find more and more of the hardships addressed. I just hope the trickle continues until the deed is done.
In other news, a great mystery plagues me. Stumbling over a few events pertaining to the strange murders around Mistone, and the causer seems to be a lost bit of past from Hlint. As i dig through the records i really feel that there are several entities involved. I think the blame maybe being placed on the wrong entity all together. I also think this is a reoccurring theme for this entity. I think he was wrongfully blamed a thousand years ago as well. I find myself in the graveyard of Hlint often, as well as the record keeping halls of Hlint as well as the Rofirien Temples on a fairly regular basis.
On the cheerful side, i have been able to do my part in reuniting a family of mer folk and by the trickle, the clan of mer folk. This too has a trickle as all things do, but in the end the part i am most glad to see is the child reunited with her father. It was a truly vibrant event, one i won't ever forget in all my days. This was but a step in the process to free a great many from influence of a harmful usage of a plant, being used by the dark drow. And still yet, this only a small portion of a plan i still do not fully understand the lore for. The abuse of the land and plants must be stopped however, and that i must commit to and see through to the end.
During our work there i was exposed to a negative energy attack (this is a magic that comes from the power of the undeath). This is a great worry for the life i carry with in me, and our little ones were blessed to have the able mind and hands of Lady Eldarwen to purge the energy from my children. If i am honest, i never even saw the strike. I only recall wanting to heal one of our member with a blessing and waking at the gentle but slightly frantic touch of Lady Eldarwen. It was during this she discovered i carry twins. That puts to rest the concerns and worry for how abnormal the pregnancy seemed to be for children of elvish heritage. Well now we just worry and hope that the children will be no worse for wear due to the energy exposure.
On more private matters, pertaining to my husband and i. Things are out of balance between us. I'm not sure how to restore it to how things were once. I still love him, but i feel alone most of the time, even when i am with him. His worry for me in my condition seems to overwhelm him and he makes silent demands of my behavior, but refutes them verbally. I know he is torn, but it causes a hot and cold effect. Either he is there and smothering me with his attentions, not listening to anything only his actions screaming that i pay attention to his paying attentions, or he is gone from me completely, and usually following a temper of my own. I cannot think what it is of me that causes this effect, but i must be doing something displeasing. I am so confused about what he says to me and then how he acts, which is generally opposite. You both are married, maybe you can shed some light on the subject? I feel lost in a sea of loneliness, something i have not felt since i realized i loved him. I come to feel, outside of myself... and unsure of my abilities. My heart tells me one thing, but my mind tells me it is an illusion. I cannot seem to dissearn where my path is to right our falling away.
He has hurt a close friend of our through his unwise actions, and she is fragile now. I pray i can help her rebuild herself and become more whole then she was prior to the effect of his action. I worry that in her state she will do something against herself. She is somewhat manic at the moment, happy and then tremendously sad. Given that her companion and she parted ways recently, i suppose that is to be expected.
Many other intra personal events have happened here. Two of my friends, Talen and Treana called off their wedding I hope i can be there for them through this hard time. My very best friend is away, and i have no idea when she will return or where she is gone. I worry day in and day out for her. Master Ozymandias has mentioned a rather permanent sounding vacation. I rarely see him as it is, and i know he has been gone from our presence quite a bit lately anyhow. I miss him terribly, and i will continue to do so. I will forever cherish my early days here, listening to his tale spinnings, tales he has yet to finish. As bards go, i think i trusted his advice most on my path in lore and spinnings, i guess the reasons for that are rather obvious. I traveled with him, along side Mith for a time while he gathered some information. It was rather pleasant. He said some odd things that i will have to ponder on for a time.
My friend Caighd has become my right hand in many projects we have similar interests on. Currently, He sits watch over little snow angels at the Temple of Ilsare in Hlint. His code prevents him from entering the place, so the priestesses care for the children while i am away, until i can move them to a more compatible place. Ael said he knew of a couple of healers that might be able to do something for them, in their unconscious state, maybe to bring them back to awares. He said he would write and see if either would be willing to come to their aid. I am hoping so. Caighd fretts over the children constantly, i think it bothers him not to be able to go in and sit with them. He is such a big man with an even bigger heart. My nieces and nephew would absolutely adore him, i'm sure.
Ah, so many of these names you will not recognize i suppose. I guess i was just trying to give a glimpse into how things are. Things are always dire, yet... normality exists. Hopefully my focus will keep my sadness and worry at bay long enough to complete what mysteries i contend with at the moment. There is so much more, but this will have to suffice for now. I can tell of my part in things at a later time when these are completed. Truly my heartaches not to share with you both, as some bits are tragic and hard to bear alone. Also somethings are miraculous and should be shared.
Well i will let you back to your daily duties. I am sure you are both busy, especially Johan, with his still very new little one.
Katia keep you safely,
~lee
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Dearest Johan and Sweet Bethany,
*several ink blots of blue sit in front of the first paragraph, as though she was not sure how to start*
Thank you for your most recent letter. To answer the questions upfront, yes, a group of Dragon Called defeated Bloodstone. The deed was nothing short of heroic, as i have heard the tale spun from a few different perspectives. However, Bloodstone's dying gift to the victory was that of our darkened skies. It is the cause of the chilling temperatures and obviously the harm to the harvest. I've heard many speculations about how long this will last. I won't venture to tell you an exact date as I lack the knowledge to support any of the claims. I do have hope for better times, in the future for our children *another dark ink blot* that the skies will clear and life will recover.
The Great Oak still stands in the Sacred Grove, i saw with my own eyes. A second trip i made there, to aid the Dragon Called who answered the summons to be defenders. Though i did not survive the final battles, i gave my all to assist those brave souls. The Oak stands, but in it's wake the dragon who called us to aid, passed. He fell, giving his life for those that came to his side. The ending was bittersweet, as most things seem to be of late.
To answer, yes the rumors are true, Pranzis fell to another of Blood's generals. I've heard him called everything from, 'the undead dwarf' to 'honorable at the least.' Of course those who were present at the fall greatly desire to wrest Pranzis back from this dwarf, but i think they have considered themselves defeated before the second battle. I have been through Pranzis after it's fall, and the destruction is... wide spread and unsettling. I can see how those who were present at the time might consider it a total failure, though, in truth, i believe that battle to have just begun. Pranzis cried out for a leader long before this onslaught... As several have mentioned in my presence, Pranzis has it now. It will take carefully consideration to move from this point forward. So many are scrambling just to feed their families and find their lost loved ones, much less planning the assault and rebuilding of Pranzis.
*a single indigo spot sits on the page here, large and feathered. the quill sat in this spot for some time before the bardress continues.*
This letter was also to inform my family of the failure and collapse of my marriage. I can not offer the details as of yet, as my heart is empty and words simply refuse to surface to my mind past the emotions of loss, betrayal and fear. I can tell you it was not i who broke the bond between us. I guard closely my children from him, after my most recent encounter. It seems as though he does everything in his power to separate me from those who would support me. In many he has succeeded. I hope that they will hear his words long enough to realize them untrue. I am wrought with loss, not just of my love, but of my security, my joy and my sense of hope. I look at the darkened skies and see a reflection of my own soul there. While my heart bleeds empty, my soul looses hope, my mind reels trying to find the answers of why. Fear has only controlled my life like this once before, shortly after our home was attacked and i fled with you two to find safety. I can't seem to find my ground in this. If it were not for my duties and my charges..... *another dark indigo blot* i am just thankful for the need to keep busy, despite my want to... *another blot* I remain in shock at the outpouring of support i find in unlikely places. Maybe my hope is not completely darkened, for i still wish to see my closest friends return to our bond. I have some vague hope that i will find balance in the part of my life that is personal. I admit, this waxes and wanes with the day.
I have begun to feel... the need to separate myself from physical contact of things unless it be completely intentional. I find myself.. strangely connected, and in most cases, disturbingly so. Had it only happened once, i would attribute it to cause of that sole riddle. It is not a isolated event, as it has affected my contact with others. My husband... *a line is started but obviously she decides better of finishing the sentence.*
The Tavern has kept be quite busy during this time. I have tired to redouble my work efforts there in a way to provide distraction. In addition, i have started making a few trips to Roldem. I continue to bake on their behalf, and the efforts to move more volunteers towards Roldem is going, but slowly. As I tour the lands I find more and more animals and plants ill from the change the world is under going. I help as best as I am able, but the overall secret to this will be their ability to adapt to our darker days. I pray that Katia will show me the way to best aid Her.
*several lines are started here, the usual care she takes with her manuscript is gone from this letter.*
I can't write any further of these events, though i know you will worry. Maybe a trip home is in order. I feel the time draws near for the children to be born. I will see about making some arrangements. It will depend on the answers to some lore i am digging for at the moment. If some of the lore comes back as dangerous as i think it might, i may have to look elsewhere for a place to keep them safe. At any rate, i will darken the door step soon, even if it is just for a visit.
Katia keep you,
~lee
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*written in blue ink on a parchment kept in a folder, the bardress purged her soul of the burried heartache that was in her past. Writing had always soothed, and sometimes banished inner daemons. In this time when her words are forced out past a disobedient tongue, the writing of this tale helped. Shared with an audience within the hall of Freelancer this would be. The current would become the future and the past brought to light. She'd just the hope that Elezandor approved of this retelling of his tale*
Elezandor's Horses
Long ago, a man stood guard over Pandemonium. He was a husband and father and even grandfather in addition to Planar Guardian. He was known as Elezandor, described to be slightly gullible, as well as having an over powering love for horses. As things do, tragedy struck this man's home, in the form of betrayal.
A beautiful bardress came to Pandemonium. She came to work with Elezandor. She was his granddaughter, and so claimed to love her grandfather. She was powerful, skilled with mind magic and bindings. Slowly over time Koralawyn managed to use a third magic no one knew she had to bluff her grandfather, and those around him. The third mastery was that of illusion. Koralawyn deceived her grandfather's peers into thinking Elezandor had changed. He seemed to warp and become odd before the eyes of the others, over time. Koralawyn claimed her grandfather performed experiments on the denizens of Pandemonium. Seeming withdrawn, odd, even maddened, Elezandor looked to all those watching to change with his plane, become unfit as a guardian. Koralawyn stepped into her grandfather's shoes, becoming the Mistress of Pandemonium, as she could not be a true guardian.
She had duped the others to bind Elezandor to her, and bind him within solitary, so that he could not escape. To the outside looking in, it seemed as if Koralawyn kindly stepped into her grandfather's shoes. The muted Elezandor was allowed to take five things with him into his imprisonment. Because he loved horses so, he took five horses with him. As time passed they changed from mere horses to creatures of Pandemonium, bonded to Elezandor. They became apart of his torture. They became apart of him. Each bared a trait of his torture. Their love for Elezandor was unbridled, they existed in madness to help him bare his burden. They comforted him, and stayed with him until he finally spied a chance to cry out for help, to find someone to make right the wrongs of his imprisonment.
Koralawyn bade him spread chaos throughout the Prime. She held his horses as collateral, to control him. Should he disobey, she tortured them, causing them pain. Yet, they stood by him as he searched the Prime for five ladies. Slowly and carefully he bound his horses to each of these ladies.
The first lady bound to Fear. With out his presence she knew only terror, for those about her, those with in her heart and her surroundings. Most of all, she feared for her daughter, a brave child in Celestial trappings, guarding the plane of Celestia. Lady Ireth Telrunya carried the burden of fear with strength of will to survive and succeed to save her daughter.
The second lady bound to Anger. Her rage found bond in the library of Spellguard as she sought answers. Lady Anger feeds a rage that burns brightly and out of control. Tend ogre clans could not match it. Her heart ached to be free of her bond, but her will forbid her to give up and leave her Rider sisters without her aid. Lady Rhynn Saehbel bore her burden to the end.
The third to bond was to Denial. Lady Denial was locked inside herself, denied her passions, denied herself. When Denial was apart from her, she was always fine....
Then Defiance came for his lady. No matter what stood before her, she held her defense. She would not be unfettered for her faith was in her bonded. Defiance apart from her, Lady Dorena refused to stand down.
Lady Indulgence was bound to yearn for pain and death. She cried out for suffering, her own and those around her. Her wild passions driven to extreme when apart from Indulgence, Lady Addison Scarlace carried her burden with tortured agony. She could not bare herself to be as she was, but she would not let down the women who supported her, nor Elezandor.
Finally as the unraveling of the mystery that was Elezandor continued, a sixth horse appeared. Yet he did not bond, only tethered. Insanity he was called, and never the same horse. He roamed free of Koralawyn's torture, his first tether was Lady Angela Swan. Her insanity reduced her attention to that of a child. Games and playthings abound as she roamed the streets. Insanity roamed with her. As he was only tethered, Insanity saught a new rider, pulling the Mad Mage from Mith. His power entertained, his image shimmered, sanity gone with his focus. The Mad Mage rode Insanity to the end.
A plan was drawn, a ritual prepared. Led by Ozymandias, mage and bard alike drew together to craft a binding made just for Koralawyn. On a medallion found belonging to her the trap was placed. From there a veritable army stormed Pandemonium. Bonded with purpose, few knowing the true and full the story for which they sought an ending to. Crawling through the halls of an asylum, tortured screams and broken cries haunted the souls come to break Elezandor from his prison. Taken too, the child guardian of Celestia, Aranna, and bound in agony, the soldiers marched for solitary. The medallion which bound Insanity to Koralawyn would not be set until she too was in solitary. Before the army tread to the confines she appeared before them and killing them, crowing her victory. Yet she was tricked, and into solitary she went. She killed the child guardian for punishment of interference. But in her confidence she doomed herself as the ritual was finalized.
Bound in silent agony, Koralawyn stands in solitary, indefinitely. Her actions over many years come back to her in the end. But what of Elezandor? What of childlike Aranna? Freed from his imprisonment, Elezandor released the bindings of the ladies, and his Horses. His magical and loyal creatures returned to him in joy to see him unshackled from his wrongful torture. There where they had been, there would always be a hole in each lady's heart for they had shared souls with Elezandor's Horses. All eyes turned to she who had sacrificed her too short life to do what was right.
Lady Aranna lay lifelessly at their feet, broken. Elezandor gently lifted the child into his arms and whisked her away to Celestia. Allowing the soldiers to follow, she was taken to the Tarn and there, resurrected in the gentle waters of the lake. However, did not one but two step free of death. Tikvah'ulla stepped free from Aranna's body, as she rose before them. Aranna once more a child, and freed from her duty. She would be allowed to go home to her mother. Tikvah'ulla murdered some years before reborn in Aranna, released the child from her duties. Tikvah'ulla and her husband Elezandor reunited after an age apart.
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*The two half elves walk through the doorway, guiding the children of the hall into an altered room. What once had been a practice field of targets and battle dummies now held what seemed like an acre of bedrolls and cots. A soft whistle came from the lips of the male, his eyes scanning the sea of blankets. He'd never been above the tavern, but he could see that which had been stacked off to the side to make room for the children. With out missing a beat, the children made ready for bed, the older children helping the younger, and the female half elf sliped between the littlest smiling and tucking. Still a bit awestruck, the male watches with a smile, and then sets about tucking in a few of the younger ones and quietly sushing the ones near by. He glances up and sees the other flitting like a mother bird from child to child, stopping at each that ask handling everything from putting up hair to last minute sips of water pulled from her canteens. After all are set in the female finally steps into the middle of the room and glances around. She sighs a little and the male glance up at the noise. His eyes catch the change in her face as she focuses on something with in herself. Her stutter seemed second nature to the children now, though when they first met her, no such difficutlies of speach were present.*
"R-right th-then. T-tale t-time, aye?" She glances around and that focus seemed to take shape pulling about her a certian air. The male looks on, a slight smile touching his lips, and interest sparking in his own eye. The children all smile and the ritual of tale time before bed begins. A chorus of interest from the children, and the female smiles serenly at them, and winking at a couple children near by.
"W-well, s-since I w-was i-ill, r-receintly... I've a t-tale r-rem-membered m-my m-ma u-used t-to sh-share." She glances around and squints at them.
"B-but it's a sh-short o-one t-ton-night." She smiles a little at the chorus of groans and objections, but contines on. "W-well, d-dearies... S-sick l-littles n-need m-more s-sleep an l-less t-tale." She tips her fingers to her lips with a slight shushing sound and smiles at them once more. The gentleman smiles a little and settles in squatting down at the edge of the sea, where the hall meets the room.
"R-right th-then, a-as a-all m-my t-tales g-go.. The female puts her hand to her ear and recieves a chorus of 'once long agos' errupt and is followed by giggles.
"R-right, o-once l-long ag-go... Th-there w-were t-two c-cats... b-bigg'uns l-like J-jalex, bl-black an sm-smooth. Th-they w-were s-sibs, g-gents an l-ladies... St-stuck t-tog-gether n-no m-matter wh-what." She blinks an looks around at the children thinking to herself where these children had come from. She smiles at them.
"S-some wh-what l-like y-you l-littles I'd v-venture." The male smiles up at her from his vantage point near the entry way.
"W-well, o-one d-day, th-the o-older... Wh-what w-was o-only o-older b-by a m-minute, a-as th-they w-were tw-twins--" A terrible pain in the heart stops the female and she bites her lip, pausing. A nervous hush simmers over the children as their minds turn over the rumors each has made up or heard of their new care taker. They watcher her as she retains her composure and continues.
"T-twins... B-boy th-the e-eld-der an g-girl th-the y-younger. Th-the o-older s-says t-to s-sis...." She sets her hands on her hips and looks around. Her voice takes on a deeper quality sounding mock male, yet still holding a slinky quality a sly cat might sound of.
"'B-bet y-ye c-can't h-hop th-that t-tree' H-he t-taunted. W-well, j-just c-cause th-they w-were s-sibs an st-stuck on, d-don't m-mean th-they d-don't t-tease? She smiles slightly at her audience. A pass of giggles and chuckles roll forward at her from all.
"S-sis, sh-she c-couldn't d-den-ny a ch-challenge. S-so.." Her voice takes on a slightly higher voice with a drag like a immitating that same slinky cat sound. "Oo-oh b-brother d-dear, I c-can, l-leap th-that t-tree." She gives a slight pause."B-bet y-you c-can't.." .She raises an eyebrow.
"Ah, w-well th-the t-taunt h-had c-come 'r-round. An b-brother c-cat h-had t-to o-own up..."
"Aye s-sis, I c-can." She quirks an eyebrow and looks around, hands still set to hips. The male half elf, leans foward a bit, fully drawn in to the tale right along with the children.
"W-well... unkn-knowing... a t-trap w-was in th-that t-tree.... m-ment t-to n-net b-birds it w-was." She shakes her head slightly. "N-neither s-sib kn-knew. W-well a-as d-dares g-go, s-sis h-had t-te m-make h-her l-leap fi-first." She looks around and gives a couple of the girls a wink. "An w-we a-all kn-know g-girls j-jump b-better, aye?" A smattering of giggles and yes' issue from around the room. "Aye, sh-she l-leaped th-that t-tree, c-clean o-over, g-gracefully a-as anything." The half elf woman smiles a little.
" 'Ah, b-brother d-dear... I've m-made m-my t-tree' sh-she drawled at him. He raised his head and sniffed about. 'R-right, s-sis... I s-supp-pose s-so....' With a g-great s-sigh he gathered hims-self f-for h-his l-leap." The tale spinner shakes her head.
"B-but s-sister c-cat... sh-she g-gave h-him a s-scare..." Suddenly and loudly to draw a start out of her audience she lunges forward and calls out, "BOO!"
Many of the children squeek and gasp, and the tale spinner gives a slightly satisfied smile. Her friend looks over the room smiling at the children's reaction as well.
"S-salr-right," She adds quickly, "B-brother w-was j-just a-as st-startled." She raises her hands in to the air and made motions as a tree waving in the wind. "Th-the p-poor g-gent, l-leaped, b-but st-startled, s-snared h-hims-self in th-the n-net an c-crashing d-down h-he c-came. She drops her arms quickly ending in a slight clap at her legs. The gent sitting with the children winces, likely imagining the associated pain with such an event.
"C-crashing th-through th-the b-branches," The tale spinner coninues and shakes her head and looking sadly on. "**Th-thump**... H-he h-hit th-the f-forest f-floor. S-sister r-ran t-to h-him... wh-why? *She smiles a little as some of the children speak up. "Th-that's r-right... B-bec-cause th-they st-stuck on a-as s-sibs d-do. B-bright b-bunch y-you a-are." She winks at the couple who answered.
"S-sis h-helped h-him o-out o-of th-that n-net. It was a st-struggle o-of c-course..." She puts her hands out and wiggles her fingers. "N-no h-hands, j-jes p-paws... sh-she h-had t-to b-be c-caref-ful. C-couldn't c-cut a-at th-them." She makes talens of her fingers. "M-might g-get b-brother d-dear." She lowers her hands to her sides.
"B-but s-strugle s-she d-did... An o-out b-brother c-cat c-came! Sh-she h-helped h-him l-limp o-off an r-rest h-his kn-knocked h-head." She reaches up and rubs her head a little with her right hand.
"W-what w-would h-have h-happened if th-they h-haddn't st-stuck o-on?" She nods a little with a few answers from the audience.
"B-brother w-would h-have b-been c-caught. An s-sister c-cat, sh-she'd a-alw-ways kn-know sh-she w-was s-safe t-too, 'cause b-brother c-cat n-never f-forg-got h-how sh-she h-helped h-him."
She pauses and sets her hands to hips and turns around looking at each of the children.
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: W-we a-all n-need e-each o-other... f-for o-our wh-whole l-lives.
Tha'Azail Neverborn: *gives her a warm smile when she looks his way*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: *smiles back slightly and contines*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: Th-this h-here...th-this is o-our f-family...W-we, st-stick o-on, n-no m-matter wh-what, aye? *smiles a little at the chorus of yes'*
Tha'Azail Neverborn: *says aye along with them*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: G-good th-then... t-time f-fer t-tuck ins and k-kisses g-good n-night. *more groaning and moaning, but she sets about her work moving to each child*
Tha'Azail Neverborn: *stands quietly and backs up a bit, so as not to distract her or disturb the children*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: *she whispers tot some and giggles and winks at others and eventually makes her way back to the end of the rows*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: *straightens after the last one* a-alr-right.. i've s-some th-things t-to t-tend d-down st-stairs... h-have t-the g-guards s-summon m-me i-if y-you need *smiles*
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: g'n-night l-littles.
AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu: *waves a little*
Tha'Azail Neverborn: *waves slightly*
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*written on parchment in blue ink, the careful manuscript details the request*
To Whom It May Concern: I, AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu, formally request divorce proceedings between myself and my husband Ista'sinta Ohtartel'selu (commonly known as Mith) based on emotional trama. We have lived seperately for more then a year at this time. I have proof writen in his hand dating the point at which we seperated and some of the events that passed over the last year. Please advise what additional information is needed. Respectfully yours, AnnaLee Ohtartel'selu
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Ms. Ohtartel'selu, It has been seen and investigated that the marital break down is well beyond repair. For all intents and purposes consider your marriage severed under Rofireins supreme law in these lands. Regards, Paulo Steadyhand Guardian of Justice
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*Written on parchment in blue ink with a careful "final version" scrawl, and tucked away in the folder*
Once, long ago. When the woods of the world were still quite new. A young woodsman found himself in love. His eyes had fallen on the sight of a maiden, at first not really knowing what he saw. Her hair was golden, like the rays of the sun, and her eyes, like the placid pane of the lake's surface. He found her in the wilds amongst a flock of blue birds. Her voice carried a melody that was strange and enrapturing. The lilt of her notes made him think another sang nearby. He cast his gaze about, looking for the second maiden, but found no other that his eyes could see. Her voice carried a quality that birds sometimes can, where they bring two notes together in an odd harmony that were both haunting and drew one to listen.
He could not bring himself to disturb the scene. His heart at once at peace and torn by the sight. His strange maiden's tune was sad and near brought him to tears. In the anguish of the song he could also hear the traces of hope. However, nearly as quick as she was found, she was gone. In an explosion of noise and blue feathers, the maiden vanished. Though in his mind's eye, he saw her take the shape of a blue bird and cast off as the rest had. He wondered to himself if they had noticed him and fled. He mused this as he stepped carefully onto the scene, a mess of feathers an stirred dust. He collected a few of the feathers, an kept watch. Years passed, and the gent did not see his lady, though he searched the woods for any sign. The only thing that kept his hope were those feathers, for their color an luster never faded. Though he stored them in his pack carefully wrapped, wear comes to even our most precious things. Not these.
He admitted to a slight obsession over his lost love. Even of only to the creatures in his care. His prayers at night were that he would find some hope. And finally his prayers were answered. Five long years had passed. He had begun to loose faith in what his heart told him should be. As he walked his path, a glint stole his eye. He approached with caution. Only to find a strange blue feather.
The gent spoke to himself, "I used to think love was finding the balance from with out, but I somehow feel my balance from within. I know she is there waiting for me. I am at peace with myself, and my obsession less the lady, more our happiness. I would see you happy, my love. You are beautiful to me because I love you, I do not love you because of your beauty."
With his last words the air became astir. In what might have seemed a terror of noise, the woodsman was surrounded in a flock of birds. They were blue in color, but more types the one could identify. They enveloped him, blocking the light and the very air he breathed. He collapsed after his body could no longer take the punishment. When he awoke, his eyes saw the world in blue. His body felt strange, an as he looked down, all he could see were feathers. He stretched his arms to feel himself, but wings were there in place of arms. He could not fathom what had become of his body. As he raised his eyes once more, before him stood his lady fair. She smiled at him, an his heart swelled at the sight of her joy.
She held her hand to him. He obediently hopped to her hand and chirped happily. His chorus echoed by the thousands of birds near them. The woodsman became apart of the sorceress's flock. She whispered to him the words that he could use to break the cures, but he refused to utter them. In her eyes he felt happiness an would not be parted from it. It is said to this day, she roams with her woodsman love, eternally bound in happiness.
*Written in the same blue in, but possibly much later, and in large lettering* His Lady's Love
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**drawn in green ink mixed with her yellow and blue to give a personalized touch, and painted with a brush rather then written with a quill**
Wedlar. Apreal 14th, 1413
Dearest Mother,
I know it's been an age. Looking back, I've thought of you often, but have not been able to bare the statement of many things, much less commit to the realism of putting them to print. I regret that decision in some ways now. I rectify that problem now, despite the pain of facing truths. Who better to face them with then you, my pillar of strength.
I really hadn't thought to write much until it came upon me how old Lindel is now. He comes upon his Naming a bit late, due to circumstance. One important person in both our lives was out of reach for a time. In that she helped me choose this name and had saved his life and mine on a number of occasions... I couldn't see holding the ceremony with out her. Lindel is a gem, but he is so quiet, mother. Not like the chattering children we took in at the 'Lancer. Not like my sibs, nor the children of my remaining sibs. I worry for him some. Did this tampering that was spoken of harm him in someway? Claims of these memories I do not have, that he was once twins, by tampering. Something about Children of Dark and Light. That this tampering was undone and my memories with them. I do recall something terrible. The one image burned into my mind that gives all the rest enough credence for a tenuous belief in the others. Well, at any rate, peaceful Lindel is looking forward to his Naming, and to the gifting of plants. I hope his shy nature doesn't overcome him when the time comes! I can only wonder at the marvel that he is, where he's come from, what he may still yet face. Yet, never with out me. Mith once told me you needed four walls to raise a child. Lindel seems to do well with out them, but for the silence... Then again, maybe all his silence betrays his true efforts, listening.
Stray thoughts such as these... I've thought of father these past few weeks. I wonder if he's out there somewhere. I wonder if he ever returned as he'd said he would to find the farm destroyed and the land grown fallow and wild. I'm not certain that he'd do such a thing... Considering it's been almost thirty years and even I have not had the strength to return. I wondered though... Would he like to see his grandson? Would he spend time with me now that I am not rooted in place? I roam the lands like he used to, maybe like he still does. I've seen things beautiful and horrid, lost friends, had my heart broken and mended and broken again. My closest friend an elf herself.. I don't know how they cope with so many years in their lives. Maybe that's why so the seeming is of aloofness and uncaring exterior.
I've tried to immolate this attitude, but I'm unable. I look in the streets of the cities I frequent and cannot help but be saddened. Those in need, those unwilling to aid, those still yet oblivious to the true problems. Worse still the land suffers. Rhizome once said that the land would alter beyond recognition, that perhaps all would become desert before the skies would clear. Once the skies cleared the land would begin anew. He didn't seem to fret, only that this was a natural cycle, and to be handled as best as we were able. I don't know how to take this, hypothesis. When Plenarius last spoke of Eon and Katia he mentioned in passing a plan to clear the skies. I think perhaps I prefer to believe in this over the other. I couldn't bare the thought of my son dying of this dark cloud, nor any other creature from tree to spider. Perhaps it is all theory. How was the Cataclysm survived? In ancient days gone by, I'm sure most was theory. I suppose in any case, I will help in what small way I can. With each seed I plant I offer prayers, and hope. All is quiet however, not worsening, not getting better. Like a crux of something either joyous or catastrophic.
Silence.... My brother and sister grow older. Their children are growing. I'm a great aunt now. You would be a great grandmother were you still here with us. Ireth speaks from time to time on what she will and has faced, with her friends dying as she ages gracefully. I can almost no longer bare to visit Johan and Bethany. I do what I can, but I think Johan will not survive another winter as these last. I tried to convince him to move south, that I would help them. He refuses to give up working the land. She's just as stubborn. Sometimes I would do well with a fit, a tantrum of unfairness, but it is what it is. I know when they go, they will be in your arms again, in the sight of Katia. In the end that isn't so terrible. I am glad they will have peace at last. There is fear, however, with out my sibs, I am not sure how their children will survive. None are so wizened, none of them are terribly old. Am I to raise the next generation?
Mind swirls with so much. It is no wonder in these dark times so many despair. How can the heart not feel heavy with all that we face. Famine, disease, loss... In my own case, loneliness. I think even Lindel feels it. His Naming comes though and I hope the activities of the day will lighten his heart. The White Horn woods, like a second home to me, and I think to him. We spend some time there when I'm able to get a way from the tavern or the guides. It's worth the long trek. That and it's relative safety to travel with a little.
Well, I have another apology to write yet this eve. Some else important whom I think in my lack of knowledge of a situation, I have wronged. I hope he hears my apology. That is all I can ask, though I can always hope...
Be well in Katia's greens mother.
~AnnaLee
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*It was late in the night and she was cold from the long ride, even though she'd walked from Plains of the Slain cross country back to the tavern, the chill still would not subside. The long ride was pleasant despite the cold. She felt some rapport with the two, Sir Edward and his acquaintance Ted. The whole ride had been an experience. Lee was no stranger to how the people of Alindor had suffered since the dark skies had fully taken their hold. However, the stories passed down to Ted and Sir Edward about the days when Milara was riping their country to shreds was.... Well maybe that was where the source of her ever lasting chill.
This rift opening in the Erylin lands, and with not to do about it, since it was so far out. Honora claimed full responsibility for the action, but with all who were present on this quest for knowledge, Lee knew it wasn't her fault, not solely. Quite a few of those who had caused the thing were no where near this effort to cure the it, and the land twisted and rotted and suffered... Storold had made his intentions clear and at first she was glad of his presence. Most of the others Lee didn't know well. She just kept hearing their conversations over and over, and tried to pick the facts out from the supposition. She tried to make sense of all this talk of portals and gems and the missing king, this Narasa spirit that tickled her insatiable-need-to-know... Thoughts swirled around in her mind. She couldn't fathom why Honora's aids, Daniel, Kyle and Ferrit among them, seemed to think this... Baroness Imjam was such a threat. For all purposes she sounded like a woman defending her lands the best that she was able, trapped within those walls. She would strike out at Milara's men, even in captivity... Like a caged creature unable to walk it's path freely... Lee couldn't imagine, she shuddered at the mere touch of empathy. All of them... All of the royals from Erylin... trapped in their walls, for more then two hundred and fifty years. Their people... They had no idea... And to watch their proud heraldry used as Milara's watch dogs...
She stopped and steadied her mind. She dropped a coin in the strange music box contraption in the tavern main room. Tickles of gentle music wafted from the box and she leaned upon the post next to it, watching the sleeping Honora in a pile of pillows next to the hearth fires. It was nice to have people she knew around her again. Strangely it always seemed to happen when there was a dire need of some sort. She'd not let that happen again with her strange friend. She was like Jennara in some ways, but certainly more eccentric. Half-orc woman with a heart as big as any blue sky, but she wasn't walled in like Jennara was. The tendrils of a memory tugged at her and she drifted back...
.. to a small bench in Hlint proper so many years ago. Lee sat there staring out among the dust her mind adrift in misery, her body aching with the early pregnancy. Honora had approached unheard by Lee and nearly scared her out of her skin when she spoke so softly.
“Miss Anna... It's good tah see you again, been a long time. You don't look so good, you okay?”
Lee had merely nodded ascent, unable to explain anything as her misery was so great it had muted her. If she was honest, she didn't want to talk about it... It always seemed more real when she spoke of it. Inescapable.
“Well you don't look okay, Miss Anna, but I see you don't wanna talk 'bout it jus' now. Well, I'll leave ya to yer thoughts, bu' you know I'm about if you ever wanna talk...” And with that she'd drifted off again, to the four winds. Her care had touched Lee in a time she'd felt abandoned by nearly everyone else. That dark mercenary had returned and was mocking her at every go, nearly all of her so called best of friends left on the wind they'd come from and her husband in bed with one of those.
A pained smile drifted across her face at the memory. Well, that touch of kindness was to be repaid in full now. This quest of Honora's... Lee had a stake in it, as the land was ripped asunder and the balance toppled.... But she would do this Honora's way and she would help with all of her ability. She was certainly not going to let that so called Toranite diplomat make another tortured person cry in a room full of strangers, despite her best intentions to aid Honora. Lee would tell Honora when she woke all that she could recall, tell her that they should trust Imjam. That confession and request of aid was the best path. She pulled fourth all the little notes she'd made along the trip with all the little anecdotes from Sir Edward and Ted, from her conversation with Baron Nable and Lady Anna. Her tired eyes grazed over them once again and then she placed them in a new folder in chronological order. She made a few notes on another piece of paper, an outline of sorts and waited for it to dry, nearly dozing in the process. As her head drooped she startled awake and then she tucked the last page at the top, placing it all in her satchel.
Slipping her shoes off so as not to wake Honora from sleeping, she padded quietly across the wooden floors of the tavern and up the steps to the guild hall. Passing through all the hallways and rooms till the room with all the couches where she knew she'd find Lissa and Lindel sleeping. Lindel always slept on the couches when Lee was away. She didn't know why but it was touching in away. She set her shoes down next to his couch and took off her cloak and hood, covering him with them. She sat on the end of the couch, resting her head on the back and watched him sleep. She smiled softly and drifted asleep, thoughts of Lindel mingling with the woodsy smell from her clothing and the strange tale she was unraveling, thread by thread.**
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*Lee stormed around in a circle in the common room upstairs. She fumed silently, clenching and unclenching her fists. She made seventeen or so loops and then finally stopped, calling herself in check. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it slip from her lips slowly. She repeated this motion another three times. The idiot... He's going to charge headlong in to the rift and get them all lost or killed or worse!
“My duty to Lucinda, this rift will be mended!” She muttered under her breath. He sounded like that creepy Toranite, Praylor! He was practically patting her on the head and sending her off like a child. Mother forbid she be taken seriously for a few moments where the Weave was concerned. Didn't he remember she wanted that rift sealed just as badly as he did? Didn't he remember that it was twisting the land, displacing the wild things, turning the whole place upside down? She rubbed a gloved hand at her hip in irritation.
She'd bumped into Connor after an unsuccessful corn gathering trip. The stalks were withered and small. She'd meant to see if anyone was in, so she might make use of the portal inside. She'd not seen Connor in so long, seemed to her like an age. She'd visited a bit and even been allowed to peek in on his sleeping children. She'd begged his opinion, in a round about fashion, on the whole rift business. She just couldn't get her mind wrapped around the ... inner workings of the whole thing and she felt like an idiot every time she opened her mouth near those that were seeking out the method to shut it. Ever the patient one, Connor explained slowly everything he understood. He'd told her about those 'anchors' and the way the magic would interact. He'd even caused a crashing epiphany within her own mind about the poem and some of the meanings within the whole problem. He'd surely gone straight to bed once she'd stepped through the portal. His headache was so tangible from her explanation she could almost feel it. She wasn't sure if it was her wild ramblings, her ineptness or the actual circumstances. He'd pinched the place between his eyes and nose as if staunching a nose bleed and instantly she'd felt guilty.... But he'd explained it all so carefully, and made it all so clear what needed to be done....
Why... Why wouldn't they listen? Shaking Honora out of a dead sleep probably hadn't helped... She sighed at herself and tried to staunch the ebb of guilt welling up. They were going to march off into that rift with no anchor, no guide to the place they needed to be... they were going to get lost, or eaten by some dragon or monster, or float off to some distant point into nothingness! What was wrong with Storold? Didn't he see? She let go another burst of exasperation. She took up a small cup with the home made charcoal sticks and flung it across the room. It hit the wall with an odd pop and the charcoal splintered in a myriad of directions, sounding like pebbles on branches. She'd wanted it to implode, or maybe make the sound of a thunderclap, just do something to relieve the welling temper she could not let slip out in public. She dropped to her knees and laid her head down on the floor, letting her hair spill around her, and began to breath, ignoring the dust from the planks.
Honora would listen. Her friend would not cast aside her advice as pure nonsense. She'd listen..... She had to... Another deep breath, and another.... She wasn't going to fail her friend. If she had to face Baroness Imjam alone, suffer the wrath of the woman alone, she'd not fail Honora.... But she wouldn't have to do that... She wouldn't... More deep breathing, and slowing, stemming the flow of near rage... Her eyes fell shut to halt the tears and she buried her irritation and hurt deep with all the other bits. She sat back up quickly, maybe too quickly as the spots began to float in her vision. She rose to her feet and brushed herself off to make herself available down stairs again. She had the bread line soon and she needed to be serene, ready to sooth other hurts. As an after thought she brushed the dust off her face and made a mental note to return and clean up her temper off the wall, floor and shelf in the common room.
She climbed back down the stairs and eyed the group over by the fire place, and approached them. As she looked on at Storold, images of three other men previously in her life flashed briefly where his face should have been and she all but bit a hole in her cheek to keep herself in check. She'd not let him patronize her like that again. She would not be belittled by someone she called friend. She stammered out a series of questions after hearing Clarissa's assertion about the portals and forced her mind to work..... So much yet left to solve...*
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*Lee plucked a small feather out of her clothing and looked at it in wonder. How the thing had stayed in her clothing through the rift, through the underwater....place... through the spectacular ending to a hunt that seemed never to end... Her mind swam in the awe of it all....
She'd been there to see the king released, Adwneth, the Keeper, that magnificent dragon... Watched it Simply look on Honora and judge her to pass. She'd never forget that in all her days. Honora had completed Baroness Imjam's request along side Ferrit and Jillispone. The once priest of Mist was carried home to his mother in dust motes so that she could grieve and move on. That Tempest woman had appeared, twisted Honora's goal in the guise of helping... But it had all turned out well... Well... the well of madness traversed, poor Kyle surviving addlement... Jharl of many potions.... She sighed and dropped the feather into a bottle...
She took out a parchment containing so many notes and began to write the ending to the half completed poem she'd started so many weeks before.
Each noble from the bounty drank,
and now in final hours, sit.
With portal view, their victory take,
From painting Minds adrift.
Come king Erylin, come Nasara to the cup,
Adwneth to tie the strands,
and Milara to give up.
No Luck and true nature of Plans.
Our pilgrim fumbles lost,
and a kingdom with no lead.
Visions filled of magic tossed,
now Adwneth lay to bleed.
As sung, hope gathered anew.
Came they from strange corners,
Seeking glory, fame, and dues.
So long to listen to the mourners,
Then to unravel the Weave.
Darkest hours before the dawn,
Yet they continued to believe...
Delve they did to find the bond,
Daughter of Erylin, lead.
She took the reigns to fight.
Through honesty all was said
And raised the past to light.
Brought home she did the wayward son,
swaddled in the ashen cloth.
Finally the full story was heard.
Drawn in to the flame as a moth,
Verging on truth in madness,
Delving headlong into the rift.
As the ring she followed did bless,
the mirror made as a gift.
Stepping from the pool she did,
and took a moment's breath.
Once more to the well she bid!
Free Erylin or death!
Orb keys filled with stones,
A light spelled in history.
Unlock Narasa bones,
And Adwenth's mystery.
The king returned to steer,
living in simplicity.
A relic lost once feared,
Second of a trinity.
The ancient curse now lifted,
And thwarted Milara's greed,
Through ash the Kingdom sifted
And again the land did breath.
A tale of Honora Tannerson
She smiled a little and made a copy to send along in the morning. After each page of ink dried she tucked one in her journal and set the other aside for delivery. She curled up on the couch next to Lindel and watched the rise and fall of her son's breathing until she drifted off to sleep.*
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Her mother's face appeared before her as it had been when she buried her. Her father's face drifted by but only in the vagueness that she knew it was him, not that she truly saw any details that she recognized anymore. The tortured faces of her siblings as she'd found them in the fields, the aged faces of Johan and Bethany.... She watched the faces of her friends, past and present in various expressions of despair... Something had happened in the dream but she could not recall the events in detail. The strange face of an old man smirking at her. Then came the press... The press of all the bodies against her, the emotions of those around her. The melancholy feel, the gloom color, the weeping. Then a terrible scream of pain that could have only been Denial's cry. She could see him rear to his full height and kicking his front legs. There was a burst of movement and then nothing but falling feathers. Another moment saw her whisked further in her past/future, standing at her mother's weathered grave and feeling a horrible tension and misery from the stone, only to read her own name from the letters an not those that should have spelled out her mother's name..... Finally she recalled the dreadful sadness of being alone. She did not know from where it came, only that she had felt buried by it. All the while her mother's song had echoed, with her mother's voice, in the back ground. A white doe leapt across her vision with a strange call and her body jerked in alarm at it's sudden presence.
Wedlar, Febra 18, 1423
In the small hours of the morning.
Lee jerked awake with a start. Quickly brushing her hair from her face, she listened with out moving her head for a few moments. She began to try calm her breathing, lest she wake the children. It had all been a dream. Just a dream.... Another dream. A nightmare.... Just a dream... Faces from her past and present swam before her eyes even now as she laid there in the room.
She looked over the room from where she lay on the floor, feeling the press of the children's bodies against her and watching the room... It seemed to shrink in her mind though she knew full well the room itself changed not at all. She closed her eyes to try and will her heart to slow itself to something reasonable. The faces began to swim before her again. Something snapped within her, in an almost tangible way.
In her heart she wanted to be careful not to wake the children as she rose but she could not bare the room nor the press of bodies. Nearly leaping from the tangle she was then free of she snatched up her brown cloak and a necklace and rushed out the door. She did not recall if they stirred, and as much as she wanted to turn back to check she could not slow her steps or change her direction. She threw the cloak over her shoulders to cover her shift and darted through the empty halls, the quiet chinking sound of the necklace ringing in her ears as though a great bell had rung. By the time she made her way to the stairs and out the door, she was dizzy with panic and her heart felt as if it would fall freely from within her.
The salty air from the sea was like a slap as it hit her, but she was thankful for it all the same. She took careful breaths, ragged slow breaths. Finally able to manage some semblance of focus... The rain was pouring down, hiding the few tears that slipped down her cheeks. She pushed herself away from the wall of the building and slowly moved over to the bay, clutching her cloak around her and the necklace closer. Pieces of the dream began to slowly drift back to her.
She clutched the necklace against her, it's touch warmed from her own body. She closed her eyes and listened to the pattering sound of the rain, the sound of the waves lapping against the pier.... The sound of the soft howling of the wind as it blew across the roof tops. The terrible panic began to subside, and she moved enough to slip the delicate chain around her neck. She slid her hand down the details of the chain and pendent, sliding down into a crouch at the same time. She leaned upon the short jut of wood in front of her and weeped. She weeped for her mother, her family... The emotions in the dream only brought to the surface her own silent pains. The loss of her siblings and their children, in the trail of weeks before she witnessed the sun return to the world again. The image of Plen holding the glass as it filled with sand burned into her memory for all it's personal irony.
This was not the first dream, and she had a feeling not the last. What was it? Why did suddenly after so many years... they returned to plague her once again? Aching throughout her mind and body, she had no answers for that. These moments... She could feel her mind slipping away. She would do as she had done before. She would move to what she knew the best. She would become scarce again, and hope to find a cure for what ever plagued her this time. Here or with in the woods, she would still be alone in her heart. Moving the children with her would only serve to teach them better of the things she would have them know anyway. The four walls.... She shuddered and continued to sob, her mind only coherent enough for her suppressed feelings....
Soaked and chilled to the bone, she dragged herself back inside and into the room where the children lay. She quietly slipped out of her soaked shift and into her clothes. She began to pack everything the children and she owned in to their bags. She rolled everything tightly as possible and packed them securely inside. Then she slipped into the storage hall and pulled out some of the dried fish and breads she had baked earlier and packed them carefully as well.
Once all was put securely in it's place she took out a case from her satchel where she kept her writing things and penned a short note and left it for Lina and Lissa. She went back to the room and sat down with the children behind the divider. She watched them all sleeping. Innocent of the world's strange events that were both cruel and beautiful. She hoped she could shelter them for as long as possible. She would show them what was beautiful of Layonara, teach them what she could of Katia's ways. She knew the inevitable would come. They would loose that innocent fire of curiosity and passion for the unknown, and slowly it would be replaced by the fear of darkness, the fear of pain.... If she could only stave it off until they were well set within the world... She shook her head at herself and chided herself for such optimistic thoughts.
She huddled there she sat against the wall until the warmth returned to her skin, just breathing. The ringing silence only furthering her resolve, she twisted her hair back so no cold wet strands would settle against the children and then quietly woke them. She sang softly as she sang to them every time they woke so they would not be alarmed. The song was her mother's lullaby. Lindel and the Trio fell asleep to it and woke to it as often as Lee could manage.
“Waiting in the dark,
For the warmth of day,
Just feeling the chill, alone.
Rest with me, my love,
Close your eyes to sleep.
As I draw the stars above,
Know dawn what brings.
The sorrows to renew.
You cannot hear forever,
Though my song will keep.
Hold on for my voice,
To comfort your heart.
The glint guide your gaze,
My eyes watching yours.
There's no cause to weep.
As Orn and Ausir,
We are never far.
Within my embrace,
solace keep you at peace.
Gentle dreams let you sleep.”
One by one the children woke, Lindel the first to come to. She gathered them each as she finished the song and then forced a smile. She informed them that they would go and play in the wood and camp for a while. The Trio too young to really understand were just happy to hear 'play.' Lindel, rather observant for his age inquired after his mother but she brushed his question aside with her excitement to leave on their trip. She changed their clothes into warm things and bundled up the last of their clothing into the top of her pack.
She led them through the hall to the only light source in the night, the portal. Lindel picked up Genna, and Lee took up the toddler boys. She looked around the empty halls, holding back another wave of panic she asked for Lindel's hand. He took hers careful not to dislodge the boy in her left arm and the five of them stepped through the portal and began their long walk to the woods.
-
*a new page is added to Lee's collection of stories. Two distinctly different handwritings cover the page, though both in charcoal rather then her usual inks. The first teal tinted handwriting is hers, small but flowing . The second hand, black in color, is larger in script and less rounded then her own.*
"Once long ago, when the world was new there lived a creature of special worth. He was a creature of many colors, and shapes, but favored the wolf."
"The wolf roamed the lands for years uncounted looking for others like himself."
"The wolf was content with his lot, as he knew he was special for a reason. He could feel it within his very soul. But that did not stop him from feeling lonely. He thought perhaps if he found another like him he would enjoy his life more."
"The wolf remembered the others he had met in his travels, ones that were not like him, and befriended them, often trading his own preferred form for theirs to befriend them and learn more about them."
"He enjoyed the flight of birds, the smooth feel of the water against his salmon scales, and even the vastness of the world he looked upon as a worm. Each of these things brought him a joy, but when he ended his day he still felt a longing for something closer to kinship. So again he would set off into the world in his search."
"Again, he sought another like himself...across plains and rivers, through forests and canyons, over mountains and prairies, until one day, he spotted another, though this other was not as he, but it was alone and seemed to be seeking as well."
"The other floated in the air, dancing on brief winds but with lackluster that suggested a familiar sadness. He watched with interest at first, hoping to see something in the aerial display that would call out to him. With each flutter of it's tiny wings he became a tiny bit more entranced, forgetting about his troubles of the moment"
"Night fell, and he lost sight of this other. At first light, he took flight in a similar form, up into the sky to join the dance of the other, but the other was not to be seen."
"He worked from his memory to imitate the same motions of the other he had seen. As he twisted in the gentle breezes he found a faint delight in the dance. It was not the same as he had enjoyed watching the other, but something different. Since it pleased him so he continued, practicing and learning as he went. As he hopped from breeze to breeze he did not watch the direction of his travel, only reveled in the quickly growing joy of his movements.
"As the day faded, he caught a glance of another lone form, this time on the ground, and wondered if it was the same he had seen the day before. From his high vantage point, he watched until the day's light gave way to night and the other form was lost among the shadows."
"Though for a time his heart had been weightless and free, the sight of the elusive other drew him back to his want for another like him. From the air he fell and landed pawed and furry once again. As the shadows danced before his vision he went again in his search for the creature, a creature that he hoped was like him..."
"With his nose to the earth, he used his keen senses of smell and hearing to track this other. He felt a rush of the hunt, not one of anger or violence, but of instinct and curiosity, and he reveled in the thrill of the pursuit."
"He raced along at the pace of his heart. His paws digging into the soft earth below him, thrusting him forward. Again his heart became weightless. He would catch the target of chase, and he would find if it was indeed the other he sought. His thoughts did not linger long on the future, too consumed with the delight of the present. Through the shadows he ran, feeling ever closer to his prey."
"The trail led him to a small river, shallow and quick, with cool waters from snowmelts in the mountains miles away. He crossed and tried to pick up the trail again, but it was not to be found, and the river would betray no scents. For the night, the hunt had ended."
"For the night and the better portion of the day the wolf rested. While the thrill of the hunt invigorated him, he knew also there was a time for rest. And so he did, there at the rivers edge. When he woke he drew sustenance from the land and contemplated the new direction of his travel. He closed his eyes and listened. But it was not the sounds around him that caught his ear, it was the sound of his heart. He felt a pull, heard a familiar voice, that he did not understand. Curiously, he followed..."
"The voice carried on the breeze, it echoed in the grass and whispered through the trees. It spoke in the tones of water over stones, of wind through leaves, in the babbling of thousands of insects and the fluttering of wings, yet it was still a voice, plain and clear. He stopped trying to hear the words and instead listened to what they were saying...things he had heard for years untold without truly listening, things his heart already knew without them making it to his head."
"So with eyes closed the wolf ran, relying on his heart to lead the way as he listened with every fiber of his being for the direction he should go. He felt as if all was right, that he could trust this feeling, that he could chase this way with just as much thrill as any other. Though he still felt incomplete at his very core, he knew that this was right. Though blinded, he ran through the woods, over water, past other beings, he just ran. The thrill that enveloped him made his discovery the greatest so far. Just as it seemed things could be no better then that moment. The voice stilled.
"He stopped in his tracks and paused where he stood, his eyes still closed to his surroundings, listening for the voice that had filled him just a moment before. The sounds were still there, but they did not speak. Minutes passed, but no voice returned. With sadness, he slowly opened his eyes and looked upon his own face staring back at him."
"At first he could not believe what he saw. As watched however, he found that it was not himself he saw. The fur was not exactly the same shades, the eyes followed their own master. He looked upon his prey. It looked upon him with equal bewilderment and curiosity. Not it. She. She looked back at him. For a long moment there was only the still quiet of observation, and acceptance."
"They circled each other, as such forms often do, their gazes locked, their ears and eyes alert, their muscles coiled for action should action be needed. Days of chase, wonder and discovery came rushing back to him. His heart swelled in all he had experienced in the last few days as he looked into the eyes of the other and they looked back at him. Was it her he was chasing all this time, or had she been leading him? At last, after long moments that passed in the blink of an eye, came a voice both familiar and yet unheard...her voice: 'What is it you seek?'"
"What was it he'd sought all this time? Was it the chase? Was it the presence? What had drawn him all of this time, he wondered at himself. With her there, the prey finally found... He wasn't certain he could recall what had began it all. Then a feeling came echoing faintly back to his mind. Loneliness.... He'd wanted... someone... Carefully considering how to answer he continued his pacing and briefly wondered what thoughts lay behind her eyes. Finally he spoke: "I seek a companion with which to share.'"
"Her voice floated back: 'And what did you find?' He did not expect this response to his answer, yet he knew the answer did not lie in front of him. His mind raced as her question rang in his ears. For a moment, he did not know how to respond and wondered how such simple question could be so hard to answer. His eyes blinked, and in that blink came the replay of years upon years, of seeking and searching, of hoping beyond hope for that which would make him complete. And in that blink, he saw his answer standing plainly at the center of it all, where it had always been. His face squared to hers, they stopped their circling and he spoke the only answer he could give: 'Myself.' The expression of the other seemed pleased by this and she said: 'Then at last you are ready to share.'"
*at the bottom of this page another word is written, in ink*
The Search
-
the pair sat near the camp fire as dusk's fading light colored the sky in a variety of dark colors. The comforting smells of warm porridge drifted away from the camp, though they were far enough off the trade road that the fire it self was probably less then a spark for any who might have passed by.
The day had been long and the forced pace they made towards the desert weighed nearly has heavy as the news they bore. Each had poured over the puzzle that laid before them struggling with the missing pieces, and were just as soul weary as they were body weary from the pace.
The silence between them was natural seeming, but broken none the less when the slight woman spoke.
“S-so how ab-bout a t-tale?”
“Oh sure...just let me finish this up...” her companion answered. She laughed softly at the misunderstanding.
“N-no... F-from m-me, n-not f-for...”
“Oh!” he snickered, “Even better.” Then looked at her, pointing with his spoon at her bowl, “That'll do you more good in your stomach than in the bowl, you know.”
She shrugged up one shoulder in response, “Th-there's ab-bit more if you w-want,” gesturing slightly at the fire.
“Perhaps...I'll let this settle first.”
She nodded a little and set her food aside for a moment, pulling the pot off the fire and stirring it a bit to make sure nothing over cooked. Once satisfied she sat back and collected her bowl again. She looked into her bowl and began to stir the contents slowly. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as focused inwardly on the words she had carefully picked over during the day.
"Once... l-long ago," she looked up at him and smiled, "When th-the world was n-new an g-green... There w-were few f-forms. M-most were of animal n-nature, yet th-the variety we know now was not how it w-was back then."
The man finished his bowl and turned a bit to face her, holding his bowl in his hand, though seemingly forgotten as he gave the Teller his full attention.
“Th-there was a form, of two legs rather th-then four, who wielded g-great power. It was w-with his b-bidding that th-the sky c-cried, shone or d-darkened.”
She paused a moment, taking a deep, calming breath.
“B-but with such power, c-came responsibilities, th-throngs of th-those who needed his aid, and yet m-more unt-told r-requirements upon him. N-new mothers b-brought their ch-children t-to be n-named, b-blessed... th-their futures read... L-local authorities c-consulted him f-for his w-wisdom... Th-through all th-these things he had f-few f-friends t-to support him.
Wh-when it all b-became t-too much, this form, th-then called D-dranel, spirited away to his favorite place. Wrapped with in th-the foliage of his w-wood n-near, he w-would r-recline in the r-relative peace an speak t-to the trees, sk-sky an moon. All in all, while he c-cared a g-great d-deal for his d-duties, s-sometimes th-they b-became t-tiresome an hard t-to bear. ”
She tilted her head and looked over at her companion for a moment. Watching the firelight dance over his features, she was inwardly tickled by his curious expression, but only briefly.
“On one s-such v-visit to his w-wood, he b-began t-to converse with th-the m-moon, Ausir... T-to her he c-confessed his wish t-to share his b-burden w-with another who would t-truly understand. Ausir, hurt at his w-words lashed out at him.... "D-do I not understand y-your w-woes? I h-hold the world in rhythm! I b-bring light in the d-darkest of hours, an if I am g-gone f-for too long, th-they curse me! Dranel, apologized an f-fell silent.
“S-soon Orn rose int-to his sight and D-dranel t-tried again, f-for sympathy in his t-troubles. T-to Orn he c-confessed his want of an earthly c-creature, someone who was h-his alone t-to share his b-burden. Orn, a fair sight gentler then Ausir listened and understood, for he t-to held a great responsibility. Yet he shared the sky with Ausir,” she paused and lowered her voice slightly, “H-however t-temperamental sh-she was...”
Her companion grinned, his eyes glancing briefly towards the sky. She smiled and resumed her previous tone, “An he had th-the S-sun....
D-dranel had no t-true support. Orn lent what h-he could in s-sympathy, but sent the f-form with little more as he r-returned t-to his d-duties. Orn v-visited with Ausir an th-the S-sun in his absence for a t-time. It t-took g-great time f-for the t-three t-to arrive on a c-consensus f-for anything you see...
“They r-rarely f-found themselves of th-the same m-mind, the S-sun often c-caught b-between the arguments of Orn an Ausir.. Eventually though, they d-decided a g-gift should be offered t-to their f-friend t-to cheer him.”
Focusing on the image she wanted to produce, she drew upon her inner strength and held out her hand between them. A shimmer of blue appeared with white 'dust' lighting the distance between them, faintly. Looking on with interest, the Teller's companion bore a blue glow about his face. She observed the details for a moment watching the white flecks trickle down his face as well.
“R-return Dranel d-did, t-to his usual place. An w-waiting f-for him was an object. But Ausir asked him t-to wait t-to touch it t-till all th-three of th-the orbs were in the sky... F-for it would n-not b-be fair for one of the th-three t-to miss the G-gifting. D-dranel agreed, but he w-was a b-blaze with curiosity...
He p-paced, ate, s-slept even th-thought t-to use his p-power t-to move time, but he r-resisted, as this would n-not b-be p-proper. Finally all th-three rose in the sky an smiled at Dranel... "Reach in, D-dranel, our friend, an s-see what we have m-made for you." With out hesitation he did, d-dipping his arm int-to the blue magic b-before him. The m-magic however stung him!
She arched a brow, and the image rippled dizzily for a moment, tossing faint lights all around their temporary camp.
Dranel j-jerked his arm out of th-the magic an l-looked upon his arm. Upon his arm l-lay a g-great g-golden m-marking on his s-skin.
The image shifted from blue to gold, and took the form of a stylized animal, likely large cat. With her traveling companion fully drawn into the story, his curiosity clearly etched over his features, she did not hesitate to continue.
"What is th-this?" D-dranel w-was alarmed. B-but his f-friends only sm-smiled, and b-began t-to carefully explain. Th-the Sun t-told him, "Dranel, for m-my part I g-give you th-the c-color, g-golden, just as her h-heart w-will always b-be. An her w-warmth, for in t-temperature an t-tender she w-will always b-be for you."
A-ausir shared her p-portion, "Dranel, f-for my part, I g-give you her f-form an m-magic... Th-there w-will never b-be another like her f-for as l-long as you b-breath... Sh-she will r-rival you in p-power, yet always she w-will s-support you."
Finally.... Orn smiled upon his friend, "Dranel, for m-my part, I g-give her p-purpose an n-name.... Her p-purpose t-to bear what you b-bear, in s-sympathy an care... H-her name is Aross, an sh-she is b-bonded t-to you as your s-skin t-to you b-bones..."
Th-the three f-focused upon their f-friend and s-summoned a g-great light. F-from Dranel's r-right arm st-stepped Aross f-for the f-first time, as m-much a p-part of him as his own s-soul.”
The Teller narrowed her eyes briefly and the image of the stylized cat appeared to leap down and prance about.
“An D-dranel n-never f-felt alone an b-buried by his d-duties again... F-for when his h-heart s-sorrowed, so did Aross's. Wh-when his h-heart was l-light, she w-was there t-to share it. An th-this is why...” she paused and she smiled slightly. A light smile echoed back to her.
“S-sorcerers c-call a t-true f-friend t-to them in m-magnificent f-forms.”
With the last of her words she let her hand fall, but dismisses the image slowly. As it faded from view so did her inner calm. As she looked over to see the reaction of her tale, what ever bubbling worry faded with his expression. Surprise and continued interest danced across his handsome features with the firelight.
“Oh that's very interesting....” he said finally.
She collected her forgotten dinner and moved it over to the fire for warming, wrinkling her nose at him.
“I like that....where did you hear it?” he asked curiously.
“Th-that would b-be t-telling,” She looked a little impish, suddenly.
“Oh right...bardly secrets and all,” he nodded sagely. She laughed softly at his teasing and debated whether or not to share the source.
-
Anna stared into the fire letting her lullaby trail away and focused on nothing at all. She simply let the environment speak to her. She heard the crackling of the fire, the soft breathing of her two companions, the few night animals that called out.... She closed her eyes to focus harder on listening. She tilted her head from side to side very slowly and focused. No footsteps.... No soft animal padding, no voices.... She let the tension drain from her, but kept her eyes closed, content to remain that way for a time.
Where things were concerned, she knew her gift with the Weave was marginal, nor had she inherited the sharp eyes of her father's people, but hearing.... Hearing she often did well. Perhaps it was her nature, to hear things. She listened to tales, confidences, rumors, the land.... hearts. Laying persistently in the back of her mind was Legodia's tale. As they neared the desert and the return to Acacea with the details of their gathering in Swampsedge, the details slipped more and more prevalently to the surface of her mind. How it all came together she couldn't fathom. What did this 'vampire tree' have to do with the attack of Acacea's sacred Tribal tree? She tried hard not to think of how long she'd let Lindel run in the supposed safe places of the wood, largely unguarded. If there was a way to rid the Whitehorn of this creature, she hoped they would find it. Anna felt that there was still some measure of connection between the two situations. She just needed to find it. With sweet Nelly's obvious contamination, the danger to the Tribes, the danger in the Whitehorn...
Anna pushed from her mind yet again how much she missed Lindel, her annoyingly persistent heart over the matter of her traveling companion, and her rising melancholy. This was the longest and farthest from Lindel she'd ever been. He was twelve and full well capable to tend himself despite having 'Reth and the doting uncles to tend him. She'd been gone weeks and it didn't look like the riddle was solving anytime in the near future.
She took a cleansing breath and poured over the facts. She made a mental list of the things they knew so far, but it was precious little. The most important, who... Who would do this to the tribes? She desperately wanted to disprove the possibility it was one of Sharina's line. They had been through more than enough, more than was balanced surely. But who else? Perhaps when they had dealt with the dark elves so many.... years? Was it really years ago? She shook her head slightly at herself... It was years... When Lindel was but a glimmer in her eye. Back then, they had dealt a blow to the dark elf faction that was trying to afflict the surface with a terrible drug. She remembered the child they'd rescued, who'd been used as bait... The one Plen had called back from death.... A pang of guilt coursed through her with the memory for more then one reason. Certainly those could have a hand in this current situation, but there had been the flood, and little chance any would have survived...
Anna rested her head against the cup in her hands and opened her eyes. Swimming... Her mind was positively swimming.... She wasn't certain what was more difficult to cope with... Her heart or the absence of information. She tipped her head slightly to the side, letting her eyes fall on the small brown bundle of scales that was half covered under the blanket she shared with him. An involuntary smile touching her face at the cute creature, his personality was something between a house cat and a dog, precocious yet eager to please and be rewarded. His breathing was calm and regular, his form snuggled tightly around in a ball. After a few moments lingering over the bundle warming himself both under her blanket and with the fire, her eyes continued on to the small one's keeper and his sleeping form. As much as she was certain they could fend for themselves, Anna couldn't help but feel needed with these two. It was so soothing to feel as though she had a purpose, however small. She'd been floating aimlessly with Lindel between the too crowded tavern and the Whitehorn temple for.... for years. She could see suddenly how it would be so easy to care for the attractive sorcerer. Besides his caring demeanor, his treatment of her as an equal, his openness... She had purpose again. She wondered briefly if her heart was fooling her again, if all of this care she thought she felt for him was really the need to mother hen, or...
The firelight danced across his features as he rested and she searched inwardly. She knew the answer, despite fervent attempts at convincing herself otherwise. All of those other things surely played a part, but it was not some inner-wound she sought to sooth, nor was it some need to fix some wrong done him.... It was just, him. She took her eyes away, turning her face back towards the fire. She let melancholy slip over her like a familiar tunic. It was not to be, and she would just accept that. She wondered briefly if some how she'd done something terrible to Ilsare, then cast aside the thought as old and used.
Once more she closed her eyes, this time to wall out everything. She left her ears open, trying to listen past what was near. She focused again over the facts of the Tribe's dilemma and worked through all that she knew, what seemed to fit and what did not. When the sounds of the morning birds touched her ears, her eyes flew open. Overslept... Mother bless me, I've let him oversleep... She bit down on the inside of her lip and eased out of the blanket. Quickly she began to make another batch of porridge, wheat this time. While the water warmed in the pot she slinked over next to to her traveling companion and knelt down behind him. She took a deep breath and didn't bother trying to fight her feelings of care for him, her melancholy making it to much effort. She reached over and brushed his hair away from his face then laid her forehead on his shoulder.
“It's n-nearly d-dawn...” she said softly and inwardly winced at her mistake once again. She waited for a moment to see if her voice broke through his slumber before trying again. There would be another hard push of Weave enhanced travel to meet with the halfings. Likely the night would find them just as weary and frazzled as now, but at least they'd be that much closer...
-
The dark locks of the halfling's hair dangled over the other woman's shoulder as they embraced quickly.
“I'll be back in a bit...!” The halfling promised, before darting off towards the door. Lee had misgivings about anyone going out that door but really only because of their recent discovery of the forest's inhabitants.
“Alright,” she said anyway. She knew her friend was more then capable, but it didn't stop the worry. The ever present bells on the halfling chimed suddenly as she turned.
“And thank you...!” she exclaimed from the doorway before vanishing. Of course! Lee thought at her as her form disappeared behind the closing door. Lee flopped back the short distance against the flooring of the tree house and considered the rest of the people in the room asleep near by. It had been a long series of weeks for all of them. Depending on their chosen tasks, some had more opportunity to sleep them others, but she somehow doubted that any were resting comfortably with all that was at risk and all that was still unknown.
The topic of discussion that night, the vampire tree, as they had dubbed it. She was certain it... he had a name but he hadn't offered and she had been too afraid to ask. Her mind drifted over the most recent events, from the day before. They had come to the Whitehorn seeking the tree.... With out the permission of the forest's keepers. She was still queasy about that, but she wasn't certain there had been a better course of action.
They had no hint as to the location and the Whitehorn was a big place. They began their search near the legendary home of Sapproprias. For whatever reason it seemed to fit, finding one sinister place not terribly far from another. Connor had found the hidden grove by accident, though with the way they'd spread out no one had realized at first. A splash of ice water coursed through her veins at the memory.... Connor facing a creature that had so upset Legodia... Lalaith had tracked him once she located his prints to an odd vanishing point. Some how Lee and Acacea had worked together to push away the veil of deception that hid the grove and after Connor they went.
The grove was the stuff of nightmares. The moment Lee stepped in she could hear the pain as she imagined a druid might feel it. A voice that was comprised of many voices echoed through the area, speaking in pained tones. It almost seemed as if the land itself spoke with the creature. Had there not been a cause, Lee would have turned and fled the place, not for fear but out of the resounding pain in those voices, it was so thick and tangible it was as if she could feel it herself. She closed her eyes and let the tears roll silently into her hair as she laid against the floor. The memories of drawing the creatures attention away from Connor until Acacea could tend to his mind protections.... The nearness to the pained creature... Lee still did not understand where the metal to accomplish that had come from, nor how she'd had the strength to continue to try to draw facts from the tree-creature once Connor and Acacea had protections in place.
The words, voice.... baser feel of the sounds echoed around in her mind, as did the uneasy feeling of being lied to... She knew in her heart that... creature.... had been untruthful but her head hurt too much to sort through what may have been inconsistent with the others. For the moment the only part that seemed to echo through her was that they'd have to go back, they'd have to face him again, and that... possibly they'd have to release him to get what they needed to save Nelly. For a while she stopped that path of thoughts. Getting swept away in the emotions of it all wouldn't help anyone, and the whole of it had to be faced immediately.
The curious part of her wondered at what the creature would do if they released him. Would he simply attack the nearest thing to feed from. Certainly he must be starving after all that time kept from the needed blood. He didn't seem so... Unrefined... His words and the way he used them seemed to indicate a well controlled individual. Somehow that was more frightening then the wild and unchecked version. Neither were any less disgusting. She couldn't imagine what would possess a soul to want to taint himself as he had, to force that taint on others as had been described. Despite whatever claims the creature had about the druids lying, she had no reason to doubt Legodia. With or without the gifted circlet from Acacea, she'd never be swayed into thinking Legodia had lied to them and certainly not while she knew the creature himself was lying about... something...
Lee sat up slowly and drew her eyes around the room, looking first to Acacea's empty bed space, then to meditating Lalaith and Jennara's empty space, and finally to the sleeping Connor. Her eyes lingered over the last for several moments until she caught her mind drifting. She shook her head a bit and then climbed to her feet, determined to find something useful to do. Perhaps Jennara wanted some company while she was doing.... whatever it was she was doing...
-
Sunra, Jular 8, 1425
*A page is added to the scroll casing holding so many sketches. Rolled along with the rest as another memory, though perhaps more of a purging in some respects. This tale does not join the rest within her notebook, but holds a place among unshared things, tales that do not move beyond her lips but only dance within her mind.*
Twisted vines of arcane rot bear darkened lives on foot.
Within cavernous dread lay the root of evils though handed by unSeen effort.
Barter town, or soulless city, the chill seeps into your own.
Weep not for these deaths, the Cycle continues unnoticed.
When soulless bodies collapse at our feet, push away, move on.
There is dreaded frenzy craved, heartless thrill to sooth the empty.
What sells most are pieces, and soul is worth little.
Ended now, bathed in balance at least for a time.
Order restored? Time will tell of course, but who's?
Bodies burnt of souls, twisted in Al'noth to bury.
The wood? A step closer for now, though taint still rots within it.
The taker and twister... One bonded release.
In harmony and tears enough is saved.
What of tent poles? Bathed in light once again, though scars always remain.
Laying quietly beneath the stars, a peace settles in the desert.
With in our hearts all, a favorable outcome.
But Hers? We cannot say, laughing eyes bury the hurt deep within.
Planting the seeds of healing like the transfer of potted plant.
Wildflowers blossom, Her within Her element.
Looking back it will never be the same.
So much we said good bye to, stripped from us unwilling.
As Her heart mends my own breaks, again unwilling.
There is a balance, with in the northern wood, and within our price.
For now, the People will need to mend, with our best wishes.
Though taken unchosen, we'd all give it again.
Desert life and hidden beauty forever protect the deeper secrets.
Within is something few understand and less will try.
An untold tale? That is for Her to decide, and in truth only She can tell.
Mistress of a thousand names, though in truth just one: Freedom.
On purpose and not she grants It, with care yet aloof.
Sing on desert Heart, surround them with light.
One wish for Wind be spoken to sound the Chimes at night.
Shrouded in Mysteries, as a cloth of many colors.
Vibrant Change to some breaths Chaos, but the beauty within Her shows.
For always the life will shine, indeed outshine, as one like No Other.
Anirilanca takes the Black Griffons
-
Oclar 2, 1427
The two of them walked along in silence, as was typical for them. For Anna, it was a serene walk. It had been a while since she'd managed to bump in to Connor. After their long trek to Swampsedge and back she had grown very accustomed to his presence. Well, truly it was more then becoming accustomed. The truth was bittersweet and not something she wished to face. So she contented herself with walking beside him in silence as they headed.... Where ever he was leading them.
The wild wood slowly became ridged farmlands and she began to guess where they were going. Port Hempstead seemed most likely. Her guess was proven when they approached the gate walls. The great walls of pale bricks loomed in her sight. It didn't seem to matter how many times she saw them... Every time a chill ran through her. With in those walls were hordes of bustling busy people, stacked together like ricks of wood. When she passed through the gate she'd be another one of them... Another body in the press, only with in her would be the fear of the press, of the brief touch from a stranger....
She sidestepped and slipped behind Connor timidly. He never seemed to mind her slipping behind him for protection in the past, she hoped that still held true. Either not noticing or accustomed to the action he continued on with out a pause. The two of them passed through the gate after a brief conversation with the guard and looked in on the city proper.
Immediately there was the great park that greeted all travelers from the road. It was a stone park, mostly, with a host of fountains and a great statue mounted upon a very large pillar. Anna could hear the chirping of birds but could not see them for the press of people milling about. In truth she didn't look very hard, she mostly kept her eyes on Connor, both as a focus to keep her nerves and to keep track of him so that they would not be separated.
“Hmm...let's see....bottles..” she heard him muse to himself. He turned to his left not too long after entering the gates and made his way through the crowd to the large temple of Deliar. With in she knew would be merchants and hawkers of unknown numbers. Connor stepped through the doors and moved through what felt like a sea of halflings easily, apparently looking for one in particular. She followed a quick step behind, anxious not to be separated but also not to accidentally touch any one. When they finally arrived at one of the permanent stalls, Anna peered over Connor's shoulder a bit while he looked over the flasks and vials he'd need for his work.
“I c-could,” she paused, and before she could continue Connor answered the unfinished offer.
“You can get the next batch...they're not terribly expensive either way though,” he smiled a little. He pointed out his selection and visited with the halfling for a few moments. He collected his bundle of items from her with thanks and turned to leave.
“B-but th-the least I c-could,” she paused to wave to the halfling woman as they left, “d-do considering.” The sound of the other merchants hawking their wares were a bit overwhelming, so she focused on Connor.
“Actually, company while mucking through bogs or dodging tree guardians is payment enough,” he told her. She wrinkled her nose slightly at him, the image of the swamp guck on her clothing still fresh on her mind.
“You have no idea how much time I spent doing this alone...” he added as he walked. She paused in her tracks and looked at him for a few moments. She wasn't really looking at him so much as through him, while hearing his words. She bit her lip to keep from answering that plainly. Loneliness, she thought quietly, I can hear it in his voice. She thought back on all the time they had spent together and how many times he'd mentioned that he valued her company. She realized suddenly his form was retreating further and further away and rushed to catch up. I know what that feels like.... That loneliness. She sighed inwardly looking at him sadly. I wish.... She paused in that thought before it completed itself. She couldn't....
“My c-company is an easy p-payment... B-but,” she said finally, trying to gather her wits.
“But?” he asked curiously. She wrinkled her nose as she focused on trying to make her statement with out betraying her thoughts.
“S-seems as though I c-could offer more,” she shrugged a little, “It d-doesn't l-look like an easy p-process.”
“You brought me aloe and you're offering more Ginger,” he shrugged, “These will be as much yours as anyone's.” She bit her lip again and nodded a little. Inwardly she committed to go regularly to check on the aloe and ginger plants for clippings and root gathering. It would give her a reason to visit more. She smiled a bit at him. They walked the rest of the way in silence, hers mostly concentrating on keeping pace with him with out any discomfort. After they passed through the threshold to the hall and he offered some quiet words to the statue of Lucinda they settled in one particular work area.
“Alright....did you say you tried this before?” he asked cutting into her thoughts. She brought her attention back around to the present.
“W-well.. S-some... Th-the c-curative th-things...” she offered uncertainly. He started organizing things on the table they'd arrived at.
“How did those go for you?” She wrinkled her nose with his question.
“M-more b-black then g-green...” she admitted with no small amount of embarrassment.
“That well?” he grinned, “I've been there. Well it's not unlike cooking. I found being in a hurry for either usually doesn't turn out well...” She nodded a little.
“Or f-frustrated...” she made a slight face recalling her last teacher. He grinned at her and began to check on the flame under the kettle. She turned her thoughts wholly onto his lesson and away from the past or anything beyond trying to make green curatives in stead of black ash.
-
Oclar 22, 1427
Anna lay quietly, letting the warmth from Connor's presence sooth her. She kept her eyes closed and focused on his breathing and the feel of his hand. As he slipped closer to sleep his hand slowly relaxed and eventually hung limply in her grasp. She waited for his even, slow breathing, then another long while after that. Only then did she open her eyes.
The room was quiet. There was only the vague sounds of the other rooms at the inn leaking through occasionally, and the two of them. She listened, felt, smelled, looked... She focused on every sound. She memorized every warm breath from Connor, still carrying the scent of fruit. She let her eyes drift over to his face, observing every line, every flicker of movement under the lids of his eyes. She knew this moment would never come again, that there might never another moment like it. She couldn't bear the thought of sleeping... Not now... Not in this moment.
It was with her will power alone that she did not reach out to touch him, or curl tightly against him. He was exhausted, soul weary even. He probably needed rest more then anything else. In a way she had a deep sympathy for his loss, if it could be called that. Eldárwen, Anna's friend and Connor's love... Eldárwen was not gone, for certainly there would have been some sort of search, some sort of word to come back to Connor, something... Eld simply had vanished from their lives. Guilt washed over Anna and stung her. Eldárwen was her friend, one of the closest of her friends. Yet.... Here she was, with Connor. She closed her eyes. Hot tears threatened to well up and spill over. She took one steadying breath.... then another.... In her mind she saw the image of Connor from the night before. He'd sounded so lost, hurt, sad.... so alone. Anna opened her eyes slowly and looked at him again, sleeping peacefully. Before she could stop herself, she reached across with her free hand and tucked his hair behind his ear. She held her breath and bit down hard on the inside of her lip, waiting for him to wake.... But he did not.
A hot tear rolled down her cheek and she bit down firmly on the inside of her mouth. A part of her wanted to take it all back. It wanted to remain true to Eldárwen's trust, remain true to her friendship with Connor, by respecting what was between Eld and he. Every moment she spent in Connor's presence, like this or otherwise.... That part became smaller.... quieter.. She cared for him, probably more then he realized. She wanted to take care of him as she had this last night and this morning, to sleep next to him, hold him, comfort him, so many other things... She sighed softly and let the tears spill over quietly.
She had to decide... Follow her heart down this path, or leave it all together. It would be easier on them both if she abandoned it now rather then later. She bit down on the inside of her lip, turning her eyes to the ceiling of their room. She thought of how she felt now.... How her feelings had shifted during the long trip to and away from Swampsedge..... How her heart had ached when they had parted company for a time after that. She knew where her heart wanted to be... Slowly she turned her head to look at him again. I want to be here... Like this... I can not abandon him. She knew that if she stepped away from this path now it would hurt them both. I think I would rather face an angry Eldárwen then hurt him that way... The thought chilled her, but she knew it to be the truth, and not some fantasy seeming, or wishful thinking. She searched Connor's slumbering features for some hidden answer. If she was honest, she had already decided. Those few weeks ago when she'd pressed that Ilsarian dust into his hand, in that instant, she had decided. Now.... Now it was up to him.
She'd meant what she had said about having no expectations of Connor. He likely did not even know what he himself wanted. He had so much to work through, so much hurt to heal. She could not let herself to press yet another need upon him. She would help where he would allow, and wait for his heart to know what it wanted. It could be that he wished to wait for Eld after all. Anna hoped he would see his way to caring for her, but she would not expect anything from him. Even if it wasn't her, there would always be this moment. In this moment, neither of them were lonesome, neither of them suffered in silence, and both of them understood. Whatever he decided, she would cherish every moment she was offered. Even if he could care for her as she desired him to, it could not be forever. She blinked away more tears and sniffled softly.
Her mouth ached from the biting, trying to keep herself still and quiet so she would not disturb his rest. She tried to turn her mind from these things, but it was all around her. She closed her eyes and searched for the inner calm that would quell the tears and sniffles. Could she do this? Could she walk away from her longest love forever? How could she hurt her friend so? Even if Connor chose other then her.... She would have to choose. She would not offer Connor a half heart. There was a long moment of indecision.
Still deciding on a direction? Connor's voice echoed playfully back at her. No... No she was certain about direction, now. It was only the realizing that she had chosen, that she already knew the way. She knew the way.... Making each moment count, living with out regret, the way she used to... The way she wanted to. Even if this, was all there was, this was enough. She would always love Plen, how could she not? She closed her eyes, biting down on her lip once again. Choosing between them seemed almost.... hollow. Her blasphemous love would always be there, and she would have to accept that. Her deep care for her friend would as well, but neither were present. Neither had been in so long.... Neither seemed to want to be present. So guilt she would bear, but regret? ....Never again.
She curled her fingers around Connor's gently. She took a slow breath in, and eased it out just as slowly. In the exhale she put in every ounce of indecision, hesitation, fear.... She breathed them out of her body, ridding herself of the poison that would hurt him. She drew in another breath and pressed out the desire to deny herself, the need hold herself aloof, the need to protect herself from Connor. The tension left her with those breaths. The guilt did not, and she knew it would never. There would always be the guilt owed to Eldárwen and Plen.
-
He looked a bit remorseful, however, squeezed her hand lightly. “There is something I need to do, when we leave here...” She nodded a little, slightly puzzled, then blinked and he was gone. His voice floated back to her, “Anna, I want you to use my home as you will... stay there, use it as a passing shelter for you and Lindel, whatever need suits you. And when I return...” She'd leaned forward to interrupt him with a kiss, but nothing was there. Just empty space.
“When I return, we'll see where the moment takes us.” He said from someplace. She opened her eyes and looked to the empty space. It was dark and cold. There was a disorienting moment, like the world suddenly fell away from her and sent her spinning.
“I... I'm af-fraid... “ she whispered mournfully and suddenly she halted her movement. Her words caused him to open his eyes, a reflection of his surprise, not at her speaking but at what she said. After a few moments he whispered in return.
“Of what?”
“Of t-today ending... Of,” She paused long, “M-moving from this sp-spot... Of....” another long pause, “Of th-the past...” she finally finished. There was a long silence.
“Would you like to know what I think?” he had asked. She nodded a little and she heard him take a preparatory breath. “Today will end whether we wish it or not, and if we live it in fear of such, it will only end that much sooner,” There was a brief pause as he took another breath. “The past is what brought us to this place, to this moment. For better or worse, it is what it is, and we should not fear what has already happened...” There's another pause for a breath. “And as for moving from this spot...'' She felt the touch of his thumb lightly caress the hand of hers that was linked with his. “...that you should not fear either, for it is the one thing you can control.” She shook her head and tears sprang forth anew.
“But, you've gone.” She whispered sorrowfully.
Anna sat upright suddenly, waking from the dream with a gasp. Her head spun a bit from the sudden shift between dream and waking. The disorientation of memory and dream blending left her at a bit of a loss for a few moments. She closed her eyes and let the gentle sway of the boat calm her, then laid back against her cot. She pulled the blanket over her in a poor substitute for the arms she wished for. It had only been two days and already she'd committed her heart fully.... With all the longing and agony that came with it.
“Magic keep you...” His voice floated back to her, the last words he'd uttered before they parted. Sadness descended once again, having done so several times on this trip. She'd learned to combat it with the other memories of those two days. Though it ebbed the fears and sadness it built up the hope. Of that too she was afraid but..
“It is only time apart,” she chided herself once again. She called up the memory of his eyes opening and falling on hers. The first sight of the morning, amber tones swirled with flecks of blue and green and brown. It was an autumn day condensed down into two eyes. She smiled lightly and recalled the look... The look she wished would never turn away from her.
Consciousness faded slowly as a myriad of memories drifted across the surface of her mind.
-
Mai 14, 1428
“You're back!” Lindel whispered from where he sat on her belly, repeating his already stated declaration and pinning her into the grass with a playful grin. She knew her backside would hurt from the effect of the pouncing but for the moment she didn't care. Wiednihm sat beside them both with his large tongue lolling good-naturedly as he watched them both. His large form blocked nearly anything she'd want to see or not see on her right side.
“Of c-course I'm b-back,” she answered a touch sarcastically, “You'd n-not have b-been able to knock me t-to the g-ground oth-therwise.” He grinned at her turning down right impish. She narrowed her eyes at him and felt suddenly very suspicious, “Wh-what have y-you b-been into n-now? Pl-please Katia, t-tell me you d-did not p-put frogs in C-connor's bath again....”
Lindel only remained silent, something about his demeanor answering in the negative to her question, but not giving any hints to what he was so pleased about. “Well g-good, I don't w-want t-to have to cl-clean that t-tub again for a l-long t-time.” She smiled at her son caringly and ruffled his hair, “Wh-what are you about?” she asked with her suspicion eating away at her again. His expression changed to something almost scary, clearly thinking himself cleaver beyond measure.
“He's home,” Lindel whispered almost gloating.
“Wh-who's h--” she caught her breath in mid-question, suddenly hoping Lindel meant who she hoped he did. She sat upright, some inner strength allowing her to move the boy enough to get that movement started. He hopped off of her the rest of the way giggling quietly.
Anna directed her eyes towards the house, not really seeing for a few steps as she started to run. She had left all her things on the ground where Lindel had knocked her over and some vague notion tried to surface about going back to collect them. Her hood fell back in her sudden rush and then halting, and something came into her sight. Blue... She forced her eyes to focus, trying to focus the sudden storm of emotions into something manageable until she knew...
His dark hair and hazel eyes searched her as she finally seemed able to make her vision unblur. Her breath stopped involuntarily and her mind raced. What would he want? Did he still care for her? So much time had passed. A sharp pang of uncertainty and fear gripped her as she searched his face for some clue. It seemed a long moment, they stared at one another from a distance that was both far and close. She could feel her insides begin to tremble as fear took a good grip on her, but suddenly....
His eyes and expression lit with a smile... A true smile. Relief flooded her, as well as every moment of longing and care that had passed in the months he'd been gone. With the rush came tears unbidden, tears she'd have no hope of holding back even if she'd had the presence to try. She took off at a run towards him before she'd even realized she was moving. Whether he moved at all she couldn't seem to recall, but with in moments she'd leapt up and wrapped herself around him in an embrace that she hoped spoke all the words she'd wished to say but couldn't think of. She buried her face against his neck, almost afraid that he'd vanish at the touch of her skin to his as he'd done in so many dreams before, but he did not vanish. His arms tightened around her and time started to slow somehow.
It was a few moments before she heard Lindel giving away her secret pain, in whispers. She stiffened, too mortified to bother with being upset at the boy. Nothing changed in the warm embrace around her and again relief surged through her like a sudden rush of warm blood in her cold veins. It was almost painful... She clung more tightly and the world drifted away to nothing but her hold and being held.
Suddenly she felt as if she could live her life in that moment and never want for anything again...
-
Mai 28, 1428
A soft song drifted through the kitchen as Anna stood stirring the pot on the work table. The rich odor of venison stew was likely beginning to waft out past the door as she ladled the smashed tubers over the top of it. She crumbled a layer of soft cheese over that and watched the resulting slow melt.
Her eyes drifted beyond her task in the wait for the melt and she smiled absently. Within her mind drifted the last few days. She swatted aside the knowledge of her too soon journey to Mariner's Hold, and sank fully into her memories. She'd spoken them... Those words she'd not been able to say for more then a year. Unspoken they had carried the weight of so much, but from her lips they had floated lightly as butterfly to flower.
She had not expected an answer, and in truth she had not wanted one from him, but in the moments that seemed more like days between them, he had answered with heartfelt words of his own. It wasn't that she did not wish his in return, but that she did not expect it of him. Just as she had promised, no expectations. Words such as those carry such a meaning, something additional for them both she knew. Now that she had them, she (rather greedily) clung to them, and would likely continue to do so for a long time. She'd dreamed of her offering for all the months he was away, but even in her mind's eye she could not have imagined the moments her offering generated. What had followed between them brought a vibrant blush to her face and shoulders, though she relished the memory all the same.
She had no idea how long he'd been in the room, nor what he'd said to her, but his gentle touch startled her back to the present. She colored all the more, her song having ended in a startled squeak, and didn't so much hear his words as know the inquiry as it was becoming blessedly routine. She silently motioned towards the large serving pot and stepped a little bit to her right but not enough to be truly out of the way. Perhaps her desire for closeness stemmed from the eventual trip to Mariner's graveyard to investigate the “Shadow” but he didn't seem to mind. She wasn't certain how she was going to pry herself from his company. In truth she wanted to ask him along but for some reason she was hesitant.
The trip to investigate for Caighd was some days off, and she once again swept the thoughts from her mind. For now her eyes and ears were only for her family, and she desired it that way.
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Augra 20, 1428
She pulled her copper locks back over her shoulder for about the twentieth time in as many minutes. The wind was quite breezy, filling the area with the cool and refreshing scent of evergreen. A trip painstakingly planned and finally come to light. She'd begun planning it the moment it had been requested of her. With the help of her son and their sometimes fosterling they'd laid the groundwork nearly eight months ago. Their many trips to the temple over the months is what spurred the idea. She'd written Merlin in Spellgard and invited him as well.
It had become a family affair. Well... the majority of the trip anyway.
They trekked through the Whitehorn at a leisurely pace, largely just enjoying the company. The trip had also been largely pleasant, and even her fosterling was able to keep the long walks with out much trouble. Where he wearied Merlin and Lindel eagerly helped him, some what of a little brother to them as well.
She watched them at play, some prank or another having set them off again, with a mixture of love and an ache. It was enough and yet not. There was some other that she would have wished possible but Aeridin had refused it from them. Despite the ache she watched the boys at play and smile, leaning into her chosen partner as they watched together.
In some days it would be her birthing-day, and this year she would share it with him, who had no knowledge of his own. She was elated and hoped her gift would be enough to say so.
In the back of her mind some shadows still lurked and hung about her shoulders invisibly, but for the now she was able to ignore them an take the moment as it was.
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Satari, Augra 28, 1428
They had stepped out to of the treeline like a mist. She couldn't recall what had caught her attention but she'd scarce had time to tell her companion they'd had company before they were set upon.
“Take the female. Kill the male,” the strange female voice had said. Even now, hours and hours after the fact she felt her blood turn to ice. Her shroud had been flicked aside by some magic she'd never seen before and then the battle ensued. In her mind's eye she recalled the flickering magic called by her and her companion in their defense. She remembered the voice crying out an order to the other.
“Let him go! Get the girl!” Only her companion had confined the creature wholly. The woman had spat curses at her inferior. They'd managed to get away, somehow. For whatever reason their pursuers did not give chase. Wisely or not she and her companion returned to the site of the attack to investigate but their would be captors had vanished quite literally.
“They seemed rather...like vampires, unless they're just extremely pale....” he had told her. Later, moving to safety they'd bumped into others who'd heard of attacks and still others. Some she knew. They'd talked well into the night, and it was obvious there was some grander plan then some sort of fluke. What... remained a mystery. Those they'd spoken too... Seemed to be withholding. At what cost, she wondered again... The cycle of events repeated in her mind once again. She tried to direct her thoughts elsewhere.
Sleep would elusive that night....
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Freas, Mar 27, 1429
Remnants of salted tears formed a lightly 'caked' feeling against her skin. It had been a very long day. She rested quietly with out sleep in the nest, his warm presence near. Very long... It had started pleasantly enough, but they'd come across Tobias... Tobias and his medallion. They faced off in a slight battle of wits against the creature contained within.
There where whispers, she'd noticed them the last time but they were so strong this time! She couldn't shut them out. A fire had burned in her, irrational and uncaring rage. She couldn't shut them out and it was all she could do not to lash out.
Connor had tended her hands with delicacy, for she'd torn into them deep gashes with her own fingernails to remain silent and still. Calm simply hadn't been an option. And she'd wept... Wept like a child.... Her purge incomplete.
They'd returned home and idle conversation turned towards the vampires once again. She'd meant to broach the idea earlier... A way to open up dialog, the other's blood ran too hot. They'd not listen, it would be kill first and if they bothered to think of questions later she'd have been surprised. The loss of Elohanna's children was too close to them all. She felt for the poor elvish woman. More then she could say.
Oh how they'd fought over her idea.... They each fought ghosts lingering over them like incorporeal armor. It had raged between them in hurt and tears for... for how long? He was so sensitive to her well-being... So fearful of losing yet couldn't bear to tell her no. And she... She was little better, feeling the burden of his anger born of fear and withering beneath it. She had acquiesced in the end. Not out of resignation, but because she couldn't pain him so. Her brief inquiries would have to be as far as she'd go on this front. She'd find someone else to reach out to the clan. Who... She'd had no idea.
Whatever happened, she never wished to fight with him again. It wasn't worth losing, not worth the pain in his expression that she could almost feel in her own heart as if it were her own. She knew it wasn't her... and not him. It was unbanished ghosts of their pasts. They'd each admitted, but to her it didn't matter... Whatever sacrifice was necessary, she would never fight like that again. Some part of her knew he'd hate such a vow but at that moment, she didn't care. She'd rather that then.... then revisit that haunted look she'd brought out in him.
Anything but that...
-
Augra 5, 1429
...She drifted in and out. Two days beyond it and it still ate at her. In her mind's eye she saw Quantum's attack and the woman's body fall limply, nearly into her lap. Panic set in belatedly again and she struggled to leapt backwards but sat frozen in place. In this vision she did not withhold the horror of it from her expression and she cried out with the movement. In this vision she saw the woman's limp body turn to her with pleading eyes before the unlife slipped from her features and her body fell to ash. As if carried by an intentioned wind, the ash picked up and coated her, stifling her air from her lungs and the light from her vision.
“Don't let her win!” came a harsh whisper to Anna's ears, “She will be more powerful then her vampire form. Stop her now!” The whisper pleaded, frightened and the ash of the woman's remains clung to her choking the life from her.
Anna woke to the sound of her own choked voice, startled by her own drawing of the Al'Noth in her sleep. She heard something, someone's voice but she'd not fully woken and could not understand the words or recognize the source. She could only breath in gasps and feel the sweat chilling on her skin. As the trembling set in she curled tightly into a ball, trying to hold the rest together. A warm presence wrapped around her, though she was only vaguely aware of it. Slowly she came fully aware and knew she was safe. She shut her eyes tight willing the dream to loose it's hold on her, but she couldn't shake the horror of what she'd witnessed, the ashed remains of which lay in her pack across the room.
And still they had to seek out Laura.
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Augra 9, 1429
The dream had come again, much as before. She'd twisted and tossed quite a bit, roused by the gentle waking of her companion. Despite his best efforts she could not sleep. She knew he didn't either, not really. She'd risen and retrieved some of her supplies from her pack and come back to the nesting of pillows.
While he rested, likely drifting in and out of consciousness, she sketched. Laying on her stomach, propped up by several pillows as she worked through ideas. What she would use to represent Lindel, what she'd use to represent her companion and the rest of her adopted family. How she'd blend them together. How she'd bind them with the trappings of Katia.
She sketched several ideas, some like the ones she already bore, the woven bracelets and cuffs on her arms, baring her mother and sibs. She sketched something similar for her ankles and calves, but discarded the idea half way through. Something of ivy and Her Eyes began to peek through. She sketched a lynx, a fey spirit, a bear, and some other ideas. At some point during this effort she'd put her chin to rest against the pillows, finally beginning to feel some weariness. After several mock-ups of ideas, she felt her lids become heavy, but kept working slowly. She did not want to close them and see Veira's face again...
Somewhere in the third rendition of the ivy mark that would weave over her spine she dosed off completely, and possibly for the first time in several days slept soundly, images of her loved ones dancing through her dreams.
-
Threas, Oclar 12th, 1429
...Turning the red rose over in her fingers, she barely felt the prick as a thorn caught her. She sighed softly feeling a mix of elation and the heartache of homesickness. The warmth of the nearly sleeping forms next to her kept her calm, mostly out of want to be courteous and not draw them to full wakefulness.
They lay in the shadow of the sacred caves where she'd found the rose at her feet suddenly and heard her mother's name whispered on the breeze. She might have dreamed it, but some of the others had heard as well. Within her mind thoughts twisted around like the dancing winds within the caves themselves, though nothing near so artful and playful. What could it be? A trick of the mind? A warning? Some reminder of something long forgotten?
She shook her head and once more battled the want to weep with long buried hurts. She closed her eyes and let the peace of the place seep into her, the sounds of the water and rustle of leaves soothing her soul. Eventually, she slept...
-
Oclar 25th, 1429
....Pale faces, beloved pale faces, trapped in terror by death....
....Feathers poured from their mouths, grey and wilting....
....There was a sudden stillness, a calm in the wrenching turmoil. A vague shape, thick and tall....
....Foliage, some tree loomed on the edge of her mind...
Mother?
...She jerked upright from her sleep, instantly aware. She was tangled in the linens and her own hair, clamy and uncomfortable. For an uncomfortably long moment she could not fathom where she was, or why she was there. It was dark, only the glow of the embers and some other light she vaguely realized was familiar.
Breathing hurt, so it was done shallowly. Pray.... I need to pray, she thought, suddenly obsessive... There was a tree. There's never been a tree... I need to pray.
A light touch on her shoulder brought her crashing, blissfully, back to herself. She turned slowly to see the concerned eyes of her companion in the dim light between them...
-
Freas, Mar 20th, 1430
...The desert night was chilly but some of the warmth ebbed up into her feet and legs as she paced barefoot in the sand. She could see the sea not far off, and the magic city even closer but could bear to go near neither just then.
Her insides churned and she felt her recent meal beginning to rebel as the last few had. The thought of loosing this made her dizzy and she sank to her knees. She buried her ungloved hands into the sand willing the ache and discomfort to ebb out of her, but they did not pass. She resigned herself to the eventuality that she was going to loose her risked morsels and just tried to breath through the agony in between.
All she had seen in Mariner's... the violence, the fear.... the children... She had called that place home so many years ago... But until the medallions were understood she was powerless to help in any meaningful way. Within the city there was searching, deliberation and study going on, feverishly looking... She should be in there helping but the press of people and her constant discomfort forced her to seek a reprieve in the desert for a time.
She could still feel the lingering hopelessness. Hear the whispers that drained her so quickly. If her guardian had not stepped between herself and Lascillian.... Taken the cuts for her... And they nearly died besides.... Overwhelmed....
Then Deception's silence... The reappearance of Lascillian... and Berris with his poisonous over-confidence, practically seething with taint and evil... Her state took a brief turn for the worse and she drew more breaths, but the heat was doing little good and more bad. She dragged herself to her feet to claim some of the cooler air....
Alas too late...
-
Mai 28th, 1430
A new small green box makes it's home among her things. It is recently painted with all sorts of animals and plants, and a sprinkling of blue and green colors dusting over the box like so many sprinkles of light. Within it lays a three sheets of paper. Each has something written, two in one handwriting and one in another.
“Anna,
For your kindness and care, for the time spent, for the memories never to be forgotten...
...may this bring a smile to you as the one you have given me.
Connor”
“For when I cannot aid.”
The last page is written in various colors with a host of test strokes and various versions of:
“For those times I can not be with you....”
There are three small green pouches, tied carefully shut, two rings tied together on a string. One is carved much like a small cat that would wrap around the finger and the other is copper set with a small gem. There is a rolled paper that is tied shut with a small ribbon. Lastly there is a small brown pouch that rattles when shaken, smelling faintly of cherry.
-
Tunar, Jenra 24, 1431
Several more sheets of paper join the other scroll cases full of paintings and unsent or received letters. Some sheets are tucked away in the bottom not to be seen or shared even by chance. Others are available for chance glances but are rarely seen anyway*.
The first is a preliminary sketch of a dark elf, sitting out of doors under what looks to be a canopy. Though the sketch is done charcoal the dark elf has striking features and is donned in Lucindite livery. His somber face gazes at some distant image that the viewer cannot see. On the side there are a few test colors of mixed inks, largely blues and blacks, though a few greens and browns linger around the edges as well. At the very bottom is a few notes on where to find a particular official in Port Hempstead.
The second is a far more detailed painting done in full color of the same dark elf splintmail and an exotic appearing male in platemail. They stand with the beautiful backing of a lake behind them and the latter smiles kindly while the dark elf lingers in the back ground with a cautious expression. The dark elf stands upright but still the man in the foreground towers over him by a head-height. They both look towards the same point off of the page, though it could very well be the viewer.
The dark elf certainly draws the eye, with his blue armor decorated by Lucindite markings and a well made bastard sword slung in easy reach. His shock white hair stands out from his ebon skin, some how balanced by the green of his eyes. While the he is certainly detailed the focus is clearly the man. Upon closer inspection of the exotic features are certainly from elvish heritage; a slightly upturned nose, almond shaped eyes and ear tips peeking through his hair that hangs loosely about his face and shoulders. He wears a neatly kept goatee and mustache nearly the same light brown as his locks. His holy symbol of Aeridin hangs over his plate from his neck and a shaft of light highlights the figure of this man despite a clear day in the background.
On the back of this page there are a few words painted in a delicate and careful hand:
“I should have known when the weeks became months that something was wrong. It is the way of our kind sometimes to go for long periods but when it stretched to years.... You told me once that Lightbringers were away for long periods so I just kept to hope.... It should have done more then make me worry. Do you know I had planned to lock you in one of the Inn rooms when you did return until I heard every detail? I would that we had the chance. There is much I would have shared,
I should have written the temple, or perhaps sought out Iradril. Tha' you were, and are still, a good friend and I wish I had done better. I know you would not wish the news of your passing to darken our days. It does and I cannot help it. Iradril brought us the news at a chance meeting not long past. My heartaches in a way I cannot explain with words to know I will no longer see your shadow on my doorstep. For all that your Lord has taken from us, I hope he holds you delicately in His arms. It won't be enough, but it will be something, and you are more then deserving.
Perhaps you already know but I will say anyway, just in case... Connor recently worked to help Iradril gain access to Port Hempstead. I provided the likeness. It makes me glad that we could help him after all he has done. He seems lonesome with out you and the bard. Our door is always open to him but I fear he will not look to it. I suppose we shall see.
I would have liked for you to be here with us. In my heart you are. I will write again. Come hear a tale soon.
~Lee”
Last there is a few pages of written elvish, random seeming words written phonetically in common lettering. These take up several sheets, front and back. On the back of one such sheet is the word, “Nyirecw,” written several ways with hyphens to denote the accents until the correct one seems to be found. Along with are small doodlings of a few objects. A wicker basket, blankets, small clothing with unusual patterning of splattered green and blue colors. After awhile the little pictures become nothing but daydreamy swirls and abstract lines.
*//Not all sketches are currently recorded, as of yet.
-
Mai 10, 1431
....The small furry body curled itself in her sleeve, the loosely fit one of her outfit. The left was strapped close to her arm. She looked at the small bulge and wondered at the whole experience. The little bits of blue fur poked out of her sleeve while the creature rested after probably too much salmon. She turned her head over her shoulder and to the edge of the boat, gazing out over the water and not really seeing any of the details.
Her father was alive... And yet absent all of these years... but for some purpose maybe? The names... why Autumn? The whispers... Her mother... And the woman... Yahima... In her mind's eye she could see a lovely young woman, a stark contrast to the vision they saw before them. Her eyes were taken to complete whiteness, some ailment of the eye that took her sight as well. She was old, probably more then Anna could fathom.... and she was a friend of Plen's. Some how she was not surprised given the clear devotion of Yahima, but at the same time the mind simply doesn't comprehend well the details of such a vision until long after the fact.
This was likely one of those times. Her mind ached at all she was trying to understand. She let her left arm fall and dangle towards the water as the boat moved of it's own accord. She watched the ripples of the water trying to clear her mind. At some point she dozed, not realizing her slip.
An image of a Quain tree, the new saplings... How she knew them she could not recall just then.... A faint melody echoed oddly in the back of her mind, something she could not quite hear but knew to be present.... As she watched the trees, a shadow of ... something danced disjointedly before her, and she could Feel the match of rhythm between the shadow and the unheard-melody. After staring for so long, watching and listening, the shadow and light danced together as the light does when trickling through the forest canopy. It danced to a music she could only hear in a distant memory, and Feel in her pulse....
She woke with a start when the boat came to a halt, the sensation of the rocking making her feel dizzy until she remembered where she was. She moves to lift her arms and push herself upright and then the weight of her small friend asserts itself. She looks down at the tuft of protruding blue fur from her sleeve and then over the the two blue clad figures just in front of her....
-
Mai 1431
....An odd sensation, like the pricking of one's flesh with an unexpected emotion.....
.....She rubbed at the back of her neck and concentrated, continuing on for a time with her traveling companions. Their task, destination, mystery. All of it was shrouded in the underlying weariness brought on by too poor sleep for too many days. So many dreams....
...It became familiar, so heart-breakingly familiar. The land, the trees, the sky, everything slowly descended upon her. She was -home.- Memories washed up and over her, faces, times, dreams. It wasn't like she'd thought it would be. She did not relive the discovery alone, it was everything. Every sadness, every anguished moment, every joy, every warmth. Everything she had missed hit her like a blow. She had put it off too long. She wandered in a daze, saying things, hearing responses; Things she'll never recall because she wasn't really present.....
...The sound... There was some Sound.... some kind of... something... She put the letters under the bush, knowing they'd been long overdue. She thought her mother would forgive her anyway....
...There was more Sound, tugging but not insistent. She couldn't quite make it out. Just like the dreams, on the fringe of acknowledgment. A small flare of frustration and the daze of overwhelming emotion focuses. She heard the halfling's echo, finally filling in the Sound she could not Hear. She clung to the hand and presence at her side.
“Welcome home,” it said. “Thank you,” she whispered through tears. Thank you, her heart echoed at once tormented and elated.
....The vision, clouded in grief, yet still she understood... There was a purpose. There was a reason for the deaths. And it wasn't her. It would not have stopped it if she had been there. A fluke of timing, some providence or will perhaps. She had survived when no one was meant to...
...She felt it within herself, finally. A prayer, earnest and from her soul, echoing her mother's own from decades...
Katia, keep him safe in his task, watch over watch over little AnnaLee, her thoughts echoed what she thought her mother's might be, guide her and give her the strength she will need in the times to come. She could hear the sadness in her mother's voice. She knew, her own thoughts shot through the ache, her voice reflecting only the song of her mother's prayer. Tears spilled over as the realization seeped throughout her for all it's meanings. She knew. Even as she died, she protected me..... Somewhere there was hope... small and fragile.
In the next moment she plucked the stone from the ground small Azure had freed from the newly rejuvenated earth. “Well done child...” a voice said, slowly becoming familiar. Yahima knew. A new wave of approval, paternal.... her father. She smiled and hugged the tile against herself. She drew her eyes up to the hazel ones watching her feeling so much lighter. She smiled at them and watched them smile back at her with true care.....
....They went sometime in the night. Gone, the ox and Azure. She rubbed her wrist, wanting to know if somehow it was Bethany and Johan. She shook her head a little, answering herself and leaned back into the offered embrace of her companion as she stared at, but more through, the now empty paddock. She felt his arms tighten around her and leaned back a little more in to him. For however light she had felt the day before, she was worn but briefly contented. It was something to know what had happened after nearly forty years. She turned her eyes to the nearly palm sized stone with it's strange marking, turning it over in her hand slowly. She would wait until tomorrow to wonder why....
-
1431-1439
The days were clouded in magic, love and peace for a time. There was happiness beyond measure. Loyalty is born of hard times and enduring faith but it is raised in good times or at least it was for her. She ranged a little in her emotions over the days, sadness in missing her parents, wondering at the fate of her father when she knew him to be among the living now, the pang of loss of her sibs... There was her own family there to soothe her, though it was largely just him for a time. She'd written, as they had discussed.
Junar 1431
Boys,
Your father and I have been speaking about you of late and missing you terribly. I know that you are young and into troubles of your own but we miss you and the warmth of your company. Do grant us the small favor of returning home from time to time or you may return once to find us perished from the sadness of missing you....
In all seriousness, do come home to visit. We do miss you terribly. We've been missing all talks of frogs and pranks and a good deal more in your absence.
Missing you,
~Anna
Home they had come, trotting like frisky puppies and after a while they went again. She ached at their leaving as deeply as she felt the joy of their returns. Much like with days where she found herself alone for the duties her companion bore, she found herself left and waiting. It was not as things had been in the past, it was not abandonment she felt but it was hard to bear in the waiting all the same. Sometimes he would comment on the immaculate state of the house or the amount of food prepared on the occasion of his return. Mostly he offered his gratitude in other ways, and she had become attuned to these things, knowing them for what they were. They'd found a rhythm to life that she found she could more then tolorate, even in the times of absence. For now they were lucky and those times weren't too long. A day here, a day there, most times it was just a few hours.
It wasn't always....
In the night, as if not to wake her, he untangled himself and began to sit. She knew him well. She laid still there listening, silent herself as she waited for his focus to return to the same place she was in. Fear traced over her insides lightly.
After moments uncounted, he started to slip out of the covers. With the first move of his hands however she slipped her own over his and whispered softly.
"What is it, sa nyesyilleel?"
His movement paused and reversed somewhat at her touch and voice. He turned his head toward Anna, the same distant look in his eyes. His gaze did not quite meet hers, even though he looked in her direction. His voice seemed to match his expression, sounding somewhat distant as though his thoughts aren't fully on his answer.
"I don't know yet. Something's...coming through in the mountains." His eyes began to find focus and he finally truly looked at her. "I should go look," he said quietly as he started to rise once more. Her expression displayed openly her concern and worry but she nodded in acceptance.
"Alright... What do you need?" She briefly squeezed his hand and then withdrew hers. Sitting up and drawing the linens around herself, she prepared to rise.
He looked down at himself as he stood. "Well, my clothes for starters, but I'll manage them," he said with a wry smile. "If you could gather me up a small bite to eat... I doubt I'll be gone long." She smiled a bit but allowed a small amount of disappointment to show.
"I'll fetch you something." She glanced around and collected up some cloth, hugging it to herself before rising the rest of the way. She briefly kissed his cheek on her way past. Not to be outdone, he makes a shameless grab and pinched her as she went by. She squeaked and made wide eyes at him.
"I'm sure I'll be back soon enough, and I'll find some way to make it up to you." With that, he made for the side room to pull on his protective clothing and gather his things. Her eyes followed him into the room and then she pulled herself together and headed toward the kitchen to ready a quick meal.
A couple minutes later, Connor emerged into the great room, hopping as he pulled on his last boot. He continued toward the kitchen as he started to adjust and fasten his shirt. He pushed open the door then leaned against the frame, observing Anna's preparations with a fond smile. His shirt hung from her shoulders, draping lazily over her form. She was quickly pulling together a meal of dried beef, some fruit and rice. She briefly glanced over her shoulder, starting at his presence there then smiled.
"Eating here or there, sa nyestyilleel?"
"Here, but quickly," came his quick response. "The view is better." He smiled and winked. She blushed brightly and nodded in acknowledgment as she turned shyly back to her preparations. Within moments she has a plate prepared and turned to offer it to him, closing the distance between them.
"I surely hope I never cease to bring such colors in your cheeks," he smiled as he gently accepted the plate from her. A moment later, he was quickly eating the fruit and rice. She further blushed then gathered the shirt around her briefly, mostly to do something with her hands. After a moment she shifted her attention to adjusting his clothing instead. She began straightening the buckles and flaps to 'rightness' keeping her eyes carefully away from his for the moment. He adjusted his movements to accommodate her efforts, but kept eating at an even, if hurried, pace.
"Will you be long, do you think?" Asking an already answered question.
"Not long, I hope," he said between bites. "Just going to get a glimpse." She just nodded a little and bit her lip, quickly running out of things to do with her hands. Once everything had been straightened and re-straightened, she brought her hands back to her sides. She began to fidget with his-her shirt again, periodically.
Once he mostly finished the rice and fruit, he tore a piece of the dried beef off in his teeth then turned to the table. He set down the plate and started strapping on the various protective pieces of his clothing as he chewed, pausing in his routine periodically to tear off another bite. Anna followed him wordlessly and began to assist in the addition of his protective pieces, chewing on the inside of her lip as she worked and likely concentrating a little too hard on what she is doing. He soon finished with the efficiency and practice of years of repetition, then focused on her again. He smiled softly and slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her gently to him.
"I'd tell you not to worry, but I know you won't listen," he said with an adoring and mirthful smile. "Just know I'll be back, and soon." He then leaned his head down and kissed her tender but soulfully. She returned his caress, unable to hide her concern and care in her return. The kiss involuntarily became something more and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders tightly. He lingered, enjoying it for what it was for several moments. Too soon for both of them he started to straighten and pull back.
"I... need to go," he said regretfully. "Remind me of this on my return." He smiled and withdrew his hands from around her, moving backward a step. She reluctantly released her hold, letting her arms drag away from him.
"It will not be the same, sa nyestyilleel," gently spoken, no small amount of sadness in her expression, "Hurry home to me, an... be safe as you are able." He smiled softly and took another step back.
"It will not be the same, but each moment is its own. Smile for me, sa nyestyilleel, so that I can carry the image with me." She rather easily offered a smile at his request, letting her arms fall to her sides. He could always make her smile.
"E ceela aey." His smile grew in return and he took one more lingering look at her.
"E ceela aey... ilcamilala." A moment later, he vanished from the room in a rush of Al'Noth. She watched the empty space silently for what seemed to her an eternity, not moving but for scarcely breathing. Every time he left in this way, she could not help but fear it would be the last time she would see him. No rational thought brought this feeling only the panic of loss... Of losing him.
Eventually the beat of her heart brought her somewhat more aware and she slipped her hand over the space where it clamored for his return. Jerking herself into business, she moved quickly through the house, giving a nod to the ever present statue on her way to the bedroom and then the bathing room. She changed quickly then made quick work of straightening the nest into a semblance of order. As was usual, she sought out solace in these motions, but as she returned to the great room and he had not returned, the same struggle began again.
Her heart raced anew as she drew her eyes across the room and tried to find -something- to keep her occupied, and from succumbing to her fearful feelings.
Her buzz of activity was interrupted by a key in the door and a turn of the latch. A moment later the door swung open and a moment after that, a booted footfall is heard in the entryway. It was followed by a second. The footsteps shuffled a bit then the door shut and latched. With little thought, she slipped across the room and peered around the tree at the right of the entry way. Holding her breath and closing her eyes at first, she leaned over then opened her eyes to see who is on the other side.
He stood at the door, half-turned and facing the short wall. Even from the side, his expression was thoughtful, and he did not seem to notice her. She didn't care. She leapt the rest of the way around the corner and threw her arms around him with a bright exclamation.
"You're back!" He seemed rather surprised by her leap and hug, having to take a half step backward to maintain his balance. He wrapped his arms around her warmly.
"I am," he said with a slight, if troubled smile. She quickly buried her face against him slipping her left hand up into his hair and settling her right neatly between his shoulder blades. She remained there, holding him tightly for several moments without saying or even feeling like she might do something else. In turn, he held her for several moments in silence before taking a breath to begin some measure of explanation.
"Pit creatures in the mountains. Mostly in the cave but some on the surface. The ones up top seem to be enslaving the gnolls..." His words ended as if he had nothing further to offer. She drew back from him, just enough to turn worried eyes on his. After a moment of the news sinking in, she shook her head a little.
"Why...? What do they want?" She paused slightly, "What do we need to do?"
"I didn't ask," he smirked. "But there's dozens of them. As for what to do... I'm not sure yet. There's a gate in the caves, I think. I didn't get too close in case there was trouble." He pursed his lips for a few moments. "We can take the portal to Wayfare when it's light, and see about having a closer look... and maybe drum up some help." She nodded a little and hugged him tightly once again, burying her face against his neck. She nuzzled him gently as she settled into place.
"I suppose that means we should get some rest..." He drew his hands up along her back in slow and gentle movements and rested his head against hers, tipping it down slightly.
"I suppose we should..." She lifted her chin a bit and whispered softly.
"Would you like that reminder first, sa nyestyilleel?" He smiled softly and some of the tension released from his face.
"I suppose I would," he said with an increasingly playful look.
In truth, she was blessed. By her measure, more then she deserved and yet, she wanted more. Always the desire and hope that their family would grow, that the house would sound with the pleasures of little giggles and nonsense words. This too was an absence they shared, mostly in silence. It surfaced often enough, in a sad look, a longing glance at small ones in town, in the way they sometimes 'entertained' passing littles with just a little too much time on their hands. It was a constant, never soothed by even a fluttering of presence. He blamed Aeridin and she held it against more than one force and presence. It was hard not to let the sadness take her at times but always, always they had each other and never lost sight of this. Too much had been in times before to lose sight of this. And so it remained they were always hopeful, they offered prayers to their patrons, and loved one another.
Perhaps the absence of this nature was worsened when times were good, there is less to worry about, or perhaps there is the drive to never be content with what was, or maybe more it was a subtle and constant desire that was sometimes drown out by the crises that often times lay at their door. It was certainly constant, and somewhat subtle in the way it was rarely discussed but always known.
Another crisis arrived and drown out the ache of unworthiness and absence. As with times before it was managed in grace, or as much as they could manage. Strange times arrived working with those they'd not really known well before. It brought them across the presence of Aeridin which, understandably brought some conflict. What felt right, what felt needed, this was the path they chose.
Elohanna, Jaelle, Omer, and many names they had some passing knowledge of, or a little less, or a little more...
The death of the vampire in her own lap, the violent and rage filled blow coming from Quantum. All of this under the eyes of the Bird Lord and the resulting conflict in her own heart...
They found a need to be other then what they were. A long time dormant, Autumn's feet began to wander her own path and a new gypsy moved down a similar, yet different path in the world.
Continued trouble with the Vampire issue, it's resulting drama and then the pang of absolute unfairness. It was completely ridiculous she knew but the ache and jealousy for just a short while was all she could think of. The girl was scarcely more then a child herself and so confused, lost. Too soon she would be a mother. There was only a short while of true jealousy but the constant presence of aching. Ultimately they'd been there for the girl-child as she passed into motherhood. Anna had helped the little one into the world in their very own home. Not in the way she wished it, but the house became filled with little giggles and nonsense words just as she had prayed for. It was unfair and her heart resisted but he fell so helplessly in love with the child not his own. New mother and new babe became part of the family over time and Anna couldn't help but love them both. Always, always the unease between them. She struggled to accept the girl completely but there was always something, a rolling storm of chaos that promised everything and nothing. She accepted, understood and knew it would never be as she wished it. She held on to the dream for as long as it was there, she knew it was fleeting, that some day the storm would blow out to sea once again and there would be little left of her heart after. Such is the way with Mist... and never the fault of the child.
"I've tried to stay removed, but I find myself unable... She's rather endearing, an the similarities..." Her fingertips begun to lightly draw designs against his arm, speaking softly as she continued."I am still afraid we will have our hearts broken..." He nodded slightly and placed another light kiss on her neck. His voice softened as he spoke.
"Broken how?" He placed another kiss in the same place immediately following his question.
"She is Mistite... They are often as beautiful as they are treacherous, like the storms they revere. I know she is no priestess, yet..." she paused again and drew his arm around her more tightly, "She is much like them, the qualities I admire. Strong, independent... passionate." She wrinkled her nose a little, "Which also makes them so dangerous." He furrowed his brow slightly.
"What is it you expect of her, sa nyestyilleel, that would lead to a broken heart?"
"I... I don't know... I think I fear most a cold turn, after we've invested our own care." She bit down on her lip and tipped her head a little more, "Nothing rational I suppose..."
"It's possible... though she has shown great care with Laa'ra, and... I've no doubt she might have her moods, but I'm not sure she'd turn away so easily." He shrugged a little and continued. "She seems to crave something more from people than the reaction most give to her looks." She nodded a little and answered softly.
"I understand that desire. She is capable of great care," She turns thoughtful for a moment and began to chew at her lip. He kissed her neck once more, gently.
"I know you do... she is much like the both of us in different ways. Perhaps these similarities is why our trust has grown as it has... and why we understand her where perhaps others do not." She stretched her neck slightly at the touch of his lips, releasing her own in the same moment, and then nodded a little. She quieted, settling comfortably against him. Within moments she looked as though she'd drifted off to sleep.
-
They'd heard about them first through rumors, murmuring intrigues from those curious about Rofireinite things.
Four children in the temple at Vehl, suffering a similar sickness to that which occurred many years ago in North Point. Resurrection is hard on the mind and heart. As strong as they are, children are not meant for this...
They left straight away, packing lightly and preparing to take lodging there if necessary. Many came in answer, little draws out the philanthropist like a child in need. There was still plenty to do. She wasn't certain what so many strange faces did for the youngest. He seemed the worst. They could not even coax a name from his lips, nor want or wish. It broke her heart to see him sitting there that way. Jaelle was there too, earnest and busy in a way they'd not seen her before.
There was plenty to do, and little time for talk...
Then just like that they were gone. An uncle came for them. It sat coldly in the pit of her stomach but she thought it to be jealousy or just hurt that they were gone and she'd likely never see them again. They made for home, somber and hurting. When the letter came it hurt all over again. A trick. There was no Uncle.
He stood there swaying on his feet, covered in boils looking like a sheet on the line, holding on to his last pin. She tried to pay attention to the half orc speaking but her heart ached all over and she just wanted to catch him up in her arms and hold him close, tell him that it would be alright. It wasn't going to be alright but she'd lie and comfort him in any way she could.
Somewhere she summoned the strength to pay attention. The poison, the priestly magic... anger against anger and arrogance. She wasn't going to fight them, let them decide about meeting the demands. She and he, together they stayed. He talked, she silently begged permission after permission and finally Finn was in her arms. She could have wept at the sight of him and in truth she probably did a little. Wrapped in her cloak and so sick. Dying. He was so brave.
More talking, her Companion pushed gently. He tried to draw it all out, but the creature was smart and stubborn... and something more... By the end she had a name for it... Fanatical. There would be no reasoning with him, only obedience and mitigation. That wasn't acceptable. They would find away. They would find away to bring Finn the rest of his family.
She prayed silently and not so, that the creature wouldn't do as he'd said. Only time would tell.
-
The door to the kitchen swung open and he walked through pensively. His face was grim and clearly at odds with many things. He approached her purposefully. Before she could get any words out in askance he described what Jaelle had just told him regarding the finds in Leringard. Though he was angry and more he kept to the facts, and good to his word, spared her little. Even in the numbness brought on by the news she could see his upset. Her own color drained away to something pallid and she worked to accept the news. There was no acceptance, only anger. Deep, hateful, wicked anger. It washed over her, a force strong enough to cause her weave on her feet. She could feel her own gift rise in response ready to lash out. Her hands tightened on the work table both for stability and for strength to keep herself together.
She could feel his hands moving to her, perhaps to catch her, perhaps to comfort her but there was nothing but anger... Rage. She glared at the food on her table, her perspective shifting it from lovingly crafted edibles to chunks of dead things, dead like the child. Cut apart like her. Serving a purpose like her.
“How could he? How... How could they?” she almost whispered, her voice too thick for strength.
"I don't know, sa nyestyilleel...." he answered in a hushed tone. With a quickness she rarely ever used, she snatched up the kettle and sent it flying across the room towards the outer wall with a shriek of rage. He recoiled from the unexpected and sudden movement. The first crash brought a flinch from him. It all came bursting out of her, overflowing. She wanted everything to break. She wanted it to suffer like the child had. She wanted everyone who was responsible to feel her wrath, right then in all her righteous rage.
There were more flung items: serving spoons, skillet... whatever item happened to be on the work table at the time, even the food in it's sick reminder of the findings. Her tears began to stream over her cheeks and she continued until nothing remained on the table. He just tried to make sure he was not in the path of anything.
She again turned to clutch the table's edge drawing deep breaths, looking for all the world as if she's trying to breath through water. She wanted to fling that too, watch it splinter away into bits. She felt his touch again, gentle and supportive, and understanding. It melted away from her, all of it save the terrible, awful hurting. She turned into him began to sob in hard gasps, really not ever drawing a better breath then the first. She tried to talk to him, she tried to give him the words but it only brought more hurt and harder sobs. He drew his arms around her securely, his head lowered to hers to complete the embrace as much as possible. Though she couldn't see it, a pained expression formed on his face as his hands began to rub her back lightly in a soothing manner. She began to weaken, her legs crumbling beneath her and the heart-wrenching sobs slowly started to loose their hold on her. It made breathing a little easier, though she still barely noticed their mutual descent to the kitchen floor.
After a little while her arms slipped around him, holding him securely for both of them. She slowly began to quiet, sob-born hiccupping and all, but the tension in her body remained pronounced. She occasionally shook her head against him, wanting to disbelieve it all. Finally she drew a deeper breath, and spoke softly, though her voice was as raw as her feelings.
“Are... Will you... b-be alright, sa nyestyilleel?” There was something apologetic about her question, but likely only he would have noticed. She felt awful for her outburst, and that she only just now began to consider his own feelings on the matter. Not only had wagging tongues and anger brought this down on an innocent, but it had been his adoptive daughter who'd committed the final sin. His response didn't come for several moments.
"I'm not sure how to..." he began tentatively, but then pauses and seems to start over with a slight nod. "I will manage, I think...when..." He pursed his lips and stopped with a slight shake of his head. He wasn't. How could he be? How could anything be alright ever, ever again?
She pushed herself up a bit and shifted her hold to wrap around his neck and shoulders, one arm at a time. She slipped her left hand up into his hair, running her fingers through it soothingly. Her tears began anew but, quietly this time. She just held him to her, as much as he held her. Their misery shared seemed somehow more bearable, she wasn't sure how it could be at all, but if it helped...
-
She had no real love for the Dorandites. Not that she expressly disliked them either but what they'd done in the name of saving an innocent was acceptable by her measure. In truth it was between her and Katia. She just hoped her Goddess agreed.
They stood there in the rain, falling fairly lightly by Leringard's standards, and waited. What would it be this time? A box of pieces and a note of displeasure? No one said it but many were thinking it. Tempers were short and she could feel the tension from those who knew why a bunch of non-locals were milling about in a small group near the docks.
Her temper was short too. Too short. Home was becoming a difficult place to be. Rather then an implied solace it was a prison. A place they went to wait and stew, feeling helpless and worthless. The fighting wasn't just outside it was inside too, inside their home that had never seen such words thrown between them. She felt badly. She felt guilty for saying those things and she knew he did too. They both felt guilty that the children, all of them from Lindel and Merlin down to little Finn and Aislinn, likely heard their cross words too. Of surety Jaelle did. Everyone was uncomfortable and trying so hard to be supportive of each other at the same time. If there was a place of true misery on this reality, their home was it.
She clung to the few happy moments they were having, the few moments of real joy. They were all working hard to make them.
A big man came toward them, wading through the people. He was human, she was fairly certain but it didn't assuage her fears at all. He walked toward them, talking to himself or those near by. The rain made it hard for her to tell. Mostly she could just hear the rain drops smacking hard against her hood.
“You ain't the clever one in blue and his damaged goods ... ahh, here they be,” she heard him say. 'One in blue,' and 'Man in blue,' references to her Companion that she used to find endearing until these last few months. Now it only made her think of the Grand Priest that tormented them all. She nearly wept when she saw the box. Somehow she managed to steel her outsides to look more calm and resolute then her insides. Her world began to drop out beneath her. It wasn't enough, is all she could think.
He took the box, opened it unwilling let who ever was watching see him squirm or loose hope. He was so brave that way. Unflappable. She didn't look. She wasn't as brave. She knew if it was a hand, or an ear or anything else, what little food they'd choked down for their meal would come right back up. The box slammed shut almost hard enough to make her jump. He was angry.
“He said there'll be a fella in blue with,” the man's voice trailed off. Murmuring behind an around her. They all assumed the worst.
“Go on...” her Companion said flatly.
“That was it really .. he said there'd be a few of ye,” he answered uncertainly. He looked around at everyone and wandered off. She thought that might have been the wisest thing he'd ever don in his life. She watched him go, hating him for his part in this. Coin, everyone does whatever it says, she thought hatefully. As her eyes drew back toward the box they caught sight of a familiar face. It was all she could do not to run up and take the girl from him. Again she fought the urge to weep. The monster waved a bit at them, dragging the frightened girl, stumbling behind him.
“Pardon my dramatics, the look on your face was priceless,” the monster said with humor. The other's couldn't see it but she could feel the anger boiling just below the surface of her Companion.
“Yes, I'm sure it was,” he answered coolly.
“A few new faces I see...” How she hated the sound of that creature's voice. She watched as his hand came to rest possessively on her head. She tried hard not to move her eyes from Lissa. She summoned up a smile she hoped was reassuring to her. So. Close.
“Well? Shall we continue?” her companion said. She could almost hear the bitterness he was repressing.
“Here she is, unharmed ... a little frightened.” The monster ran his fingers through Lissa's hair. More whispers. “If some of you hadn't done what I had requested...” he said incompletely, “I cannot see the one of Rofirein.”
Good, she thought. She said something else under her breath, she couldn't recall it even a moment later.
“Thankfully, he and his mouth are not in attendance,” her companion said, and she smiled a little. She could see the image of Jennara frowning at the sentiment but too she'd have taken down her fellow Rofy in a movement too quick to counter for what jeopardy he was placing a small child in.
“A shame .. I am sure I can provoke someone else if needs be,” it said to them. “I trust someone else will substitute with noble sentiments where required?” the monster said almost cheekily. She hated him. He bent down to smell the girl's hair. The cold meal turned over in her stomach and it was all she could do not to throw herself at him in fury. “I'll miss this one,” he said. If she could have killed him where he stood right then...
“Off you hop poppet,” he said, giving her the gentlest of nudges. Needlessly she felt her body go into motion, waving the child to them. Lissa ran to the waiting Jaelle next to her. Jaelle wrapped her arms around Lissa and Anna wrapped herself around them both. The relief of having the girl was so profound she almost lost herself. The guilt already ate at her. It should have been Rhiannon, she cursed herself one more time for not being there to stop Allie. But it's Lissa, and now there's only one more...
“Really, the things that child has witnessed ... I feel for her,” the monster said somewhere to her left, “Will you tell the one of Rofirein I made her cut out the eye of her brother ... I don't honestly know who was hurt more by the whole experience.” She choked back bile and squeezed the girls both a little more tightly and protectively. She heard the outrage boil up around them though only a few words were spoken. Jaelle shook slightly in her arms with emotion. Whether it was rage or something else, Anna couldn't guess just then. The thin slip of an elf murmured distractingly to Lissa so that she wouldn't hear the monster's voice for a moment more.
“I'm guessing with his many here, he wouldn't be so foolish without having some collateral, more kids in hiding,” said some street minstrel she'd seen a few times before.
“Clever .. now don't be too clever friend,” the monster said, “Clever is good, too clever gets people killed. You've got to have the imagination to picture a child's agony .. but not so much as to think of a way to outwit me!” she could hear the mirth in his voice and she didn't have to look to know he was grinning. She joined her efforts with Jaelle, trying to distract Lissa. What she said she'll never remember.
“Enough...” her companion said evenly.
“You speak of madness and evil.....I'll stand for neither,” someone shouted up from the back. Her eyes went to the voice in the midst of some comforting words and she added another person she hated to her growing list. Tall, dressed in robes. Voraxian symbol hanging around his neck. Lovely, she thought to herself, Some brainless rager trying to provoke an enemy into battle.... Poor Liam...
“Excellent. it doesn't work without a disapproving paladin in attendance,” the monster said.
“We will meet you when you are finished here,” Jaelle nearly whispered. She gathered herself and Lissa, likely half her size already, and scooped the child in her arms. Anna backed away, already twisting music around them as quietly as she could manage. Jaelle gave the creature a hard, cold look before she moved off. Her movements unnatrualy quick with the aid of Anna's spell, the two were out of sight in little time at all. Anna turned on the half-orc thing and steeled herself. One more...
“There are certain ingredients required, you all have your role to play of course .. I am non-exclusionary,” the creature said. “But enough wordplay .. down to business?”
“Might as well,” her companion said steadily. There was an audible yawn from somewhere near by.
“Are you getting to a point anytime soon?” Oh gods, she knew that voice... The ever sarcastic Angela. Liam was dead. What's more he probably would be shipped out in little pieces cut over time for weeks. She froze up at the depth of her own gruesomeness, horrified at herself for being able to think of such a torture.
“There's your one and only free attempted witticism,” the monster said, smiling to Angela, wherever she stood, “There remains one child, the youngest ... a sweet boy, though, of course, sadly sporting the pirate look,” he paused, “I can't be blamed! Don't look that way at me!” it said to us. She knew they were all hating him. Good, except that he was loving every minute of it. “If we don't have complete and transparent honesty, we descend into chaos,” it declared with some flourish, “You were told a consequence, you ignored it. I have been true to my word at each and every moment of our discourse. Another important ingredient.”
“Only the pretentious loudmouth ignored it,” her companion countered.
“Well, it only takes one rotten apple to spoil the barrel my friend,” it answered her companion with some kind of generated sympathy.
“Or three,” her companion whispered to himself.
“So, shall you tell your new companions the price of an attempted thwarting my devious plans now or later?” the monster asked, “One child, one remaining task .. this one an easy one.”
“Might as well get it over with now,” he answered the monster.
“ One remaining task? So... after this... you are done?” the mouthy 'druid.' Her teeth set to gnashing.
“Do tell, your not content unless your hearing your own voice anyhow,” Angela again. Hate. Anna wanted to kill her right there. She wanted to kill everyone that wasn't her companion. Her bottled fury some how kept it's lid knowing that the monster would discipline her for that too. She watched his mouth turn down in a frown.
“I'm sure I warned you about attempted witticisms,” it said. “That one will cost the poor dear but a pinky finger. The next one will be his remaining eye. Understood?”
“Perfectly,” said the Mistie, for once suitably chastened.
“Oh Katia,” Anna whispered, the half thought prayer for the boy.
“Where was I? Yes, one child .. a little worse for wear .. but! Again I cannot be held accountable for such,” it said, “If you must find someone to blame, blame her.” It pointed at Angela and Anna bothered to look. Angela glowered back at him but said nothing.
“For the eye?” someone asked. She knew the voice but it took her a moment to place it as the brooding woodsman.
“For the eye. Anyways, though I am a trifle embarrassed...” it said, “...the last task is all about the coin.” Someone said something that sounded like a question but she didn't catch it in the rain. “ I know I know,” it shook his head with some kind of mock shame or something she didn't care enough to identify, “I expect you were expecting some high filutin' noble gesture of mine. But .. really what I require now is the coin. It's a harsh reality of the world in which we find ourselves.”
“You wish to be paid for you evil deeds?” the Voraxian's voice.
“Nay Sir. I wish to be paid so I don't have to commit more evil deeds ... quite the difference,” it answered graciously. “One million coins, one month ... one child,” it said the words came down heavily. There was a cough of surprise from someone. She knew some were probably surprised. She wasn't, she was just hopeless. It would never happen.
“Grand plans don't come cheap my friends,” it said companionably, then got down to business. “So here is how it will work .. we'll meet here again in a month, have my coin and you can have the child. If you're not here,” it shrugged, “I won't be so crass and base to spell it out.” Maybe it did have mercy in it's bones somewhere. A breath later, the insanity boiled up. Allie having some terse conversation with her companion about catching the monster in whispers. Whispers it could probably hear. The mouthy druid was spouting off something about how to obtain the coin. There was some counter but her mind just swam.
“Now I am about to leave through the crowd ... if someone attempts to follow me I shall cast a spell that summons an acidic rain that shall strip the flesh from the bones of every peasant within a hundred yards,” it said, cutting through the insanity. She turned her eyes around the area. Despite the rain there were many. She remembered whispering to Allie to quiet in some way... again the words are likely lost to time. “I'd not attempt to counter spell my spell.. that would just anger me and I don't think you'd like to see me angry,” it said. Allie and Anna's companion began to grow more tense in their whispered words.
“I will then attempt to hold you,” she heard her companion threaten Allie. He meant with magic. She grew angry but ceased for a few moments. Anna pleaded with her to wait.
“Are we clear?” it asked, “Any more witticisms before I take my leave?”
“You go, no counter. I think that's clear,” her companion answered it.
“I am ever glad for your presence .. a voice of reason Sir,” it bowed to her companion and she felt sick. “One month,” it reminded them all. She resisted the urge to hold her stomach. Her companion slipped off as the monster practically pranced off into the crowd. She didn't stop him. Him, she trusted. Allie started again with the angry whispers, but Anna didn't really hear her. As it walked away the bubble of angry voices washed over her and her stomach turned over on itself. Pike off, the lot of you! She wanted to shout at them. Before she had wanted all the help they could get with this but now... Now she just wanted them all to fall into the Pits somewhere, every last one of them. Rhiannon's ravaged body, Liam's eye, now his finger... She couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't stand people anymore. They were flapping their lips and she just wanted to draw up her sphere of silence. She needed to think. Would tracking down the mother really help? Would following any of their leads really help? Where would they get THAT kind of coin? She said something to Allie, she thought it sounded almost apologetic... But she didn't mean any kind of apology to that person. Ever since Allie had turned from Aeridin, Anna couldn't fathom her. The irony was not lost to her.
Her eyes moved around to find her companion. She tried not to need him too much, but as the voices began to lift and people continued to ask questions she didn't want to answer all over again for what seemed like the hundredth time, she did. She just needed his strong quiet presence beside her. It was too much. As if summoned by her need he appeared from the crowd. He wasn't pleased. It had escaped, she could tell. She tightened her jaw and began to think out over their possibilities.
Lissa... Right now that's what mattered. Lissa and Liam. One to take home and one to figure out how to rescue. She had to focus.
-
....She made note to never fix that pot roast with venison again. Finn confessed in a secretive whisper to his sister how he really hated that dish. Anna was weeping, again. It felt like all she did was cry. These were happy tears. Watching Finn and Lissa sit by the fire and talk. He had promised to be strong for her. He'd known the monster as she had. They'd be good for each other and they'd be safe here
Her eyes drifted over to her son, to her companion's son and Jaelle with her daughter. Everyone watched the pair, tears all around, except for little Aislin who was barely old enough to register her newest playmate.....
...Rellak, a woman hardened by the years of farm living in Brenuth. Anna cared for her instantly. She was sturdy and caring. She could have been any one of Anna's neighbors growing up. Anna set her mind to creating something nicer for the woman to hear. She couldn't bring herself to tell her that her sons were monsters who reveled in hurting the innocent to twist rest of the world to their bidding. Any one of their deeds would have broken the woman's heart and Anna knew it.
She played a part she knew well. She played the minstrel gathering tales for stories. She found she meant every word she said to Rellak, even though another part of her twisted hatefully that this woman created those creatures. It wasn't her fault. She'd been abused just as her son's abused others. Anna couldn't help it.
Rellak didn't deserve ire, only compassion. She told them plenty, she told them without reserve. She had such a good heart and Anna knew, if they used Rellak Anna would be responsible for breaking it. What kind of monster had she become?
They shared a meal that she and Rellak helped prepare. Connor and Jaelle quietly supportive but... very removed. Anna spoke with her companionly, showed the aging mother the sketches she'd made of the woman's children grown. Only two of them so far, but there was a third. Rellak had confirmed it.
Segemek, the smart leader, trained by Aragintes and some how came to find his fanatical faith in Grand.
Nestor, the big bear and likely the one with the worst tastes of them all.
Vargen, “So Handsome” Rellak had said. If she only knew....
Anna's sympathy, her pain, her affection, her hatred, it all choked her. She needed air. She needed to go home and hug their own children, all of them. She needed to find faith that somewhere, little hurting Liam was going to come home in a few short weeks.....
-
...The tension in the house was at it's worst. The children, innately wise for their years, were all cloistered off in the large bedroom doing something. Anna didn't know what. She'd barely been able to eat her meal.
They were going to Segemek without his one million True. There'd been no way to raise it short of becoming criminals themselves and they just couldn't. They'd sunk so low... In truth they were already criminals, the law just didn't know it yet. Outright theft was too low. It was an abuse they wouldn't sink to.
They were talking, the two sorcerers. Her Companion started talking... crazy.... She knew he was tired of all of this and he couldn't bear to lose the last one. But now... Now he was talking pure insanity. It was going to get him caught and she knew it. They'd have him and they'd cut him apart and find that he wasn't so easy to damage permanently. They would find him the perfect victim, a never ending source of torment for whatever appetites they had for the moment and if they could break him.... They could have anything they wanted. He would get it.
Her mind melted on itself. She barely heard their words for a while. Her mind only swam in the millions of different ways they would hurt him and the utter helplessness she could already feel. There was no way they could have him. It was too dangerous for everyone. Regardless of the already building pain in her heart, it wasn't safe for the people of Layonara for them to have him. Why didn't he see that?
“What do you think?” Jaelle looked over at Anna. Her mind focused hard trying to recall what the last few sentences were.
“It all sort of depends on whether he'll bring Liam to the exchange or simply tell us where to find him once all is done,” her companion said. He started to add more but stopped himself a bit belatedly and looked at her. She forced her brain to work. Their eyes rested on her and she tried to tell him he couldn't do this. She tried to tell him he wasn't allowed to throw himself away like that. It choked her, and she sat frozen. Later... We'll talk later, she thought, After Jaelle has gone to take her rest.
“Yes,” she said finally, “I think she should come.” The mother, she needed to be there. She needed to see what her sons were doing and she needed to help stop them. They both nodded. Anna couldn't fathom suddenly why her opinion mattered at all. He was going to be gone from her forever.
“What conditions will you use?” she asked him, not even caring what the rest of the conversation was doing.
“Conditions?” he asked confused. He was in the middle of something with Jaelle and Anna had interrupted him.
“To take him,” she clarified almost dispassionately.
“I don't follow...” he said, his brow furrowing slightly.
“What will need to happen to take him?” she repeats and then purses her lips. He thought about it for a few moments and began to give her his calm logical answer, defining the potential 'favorable opportunities.' She forced herself to try and help. They debated, the two sorcerers. Anna could see Jaelle hedging toward something and her companion both seeing it and not. Jaelle banged her fists on the table in frustration, wanting assurances. Not from her companion, just from life, from fate...
Then she offered the same thing... Only, she was willingly going to trade herself for the boy. Anna wasn't simple or optimistic. She knew what that would mean for Jaelle. There was no question what they would do to her. She tried again to help but her mind just stopped. She got up and left. She couldn't hear it anymore. Her words were heard and not. They weren't listening past their own ideas of why their own plan of sacrifice would work. It made her sick. Sick with loss, sick with anguish. She went to the kitchen to try and find something to do. There wasn't much. Her busy hands and Jaelle's left little to be done this late in the evening. She left. She went in to check on the children. She hugged them. Wordlessly, she just hugged them and held on to them. Merlin, somewhat accustomed to her periodic emotional out bursts, only smiled and returned her embrace. She thought about what he had almost become in his own agony and about how wonderful he'd become instead. Lindel she held to the tightest. He was a boy grown, well into his own life but he had stopped that to come and help them, to come help protect these littles. Her son, born of a terrible situation and made himself into something wonderful. He was everything Segemek, Vargen and Nester weren't. He was wonderful. She pulled herself away from the boys and Lissa and stumbled off toward the door.
They were still arguing outside. She came out anyway and silently moved to the hearth. She sat quietly but then he began to talk to her, drawing her out. She couldn't remember how but suddenly they were fighting. She was angry. She didn't even want to look at him. She felt helpless and she didn't want to listen to them plot their lives away any longer. It felt so terribly unfair. Everything. It didn't matter anymore what he said, it was just unfair. And then he was accusatory and angry. Her gift roiled up and she lost control. And then in the heat of their shouting he said it. She felt her heart drop out of her completely. There was nothing... She had no feeling except the want to be away. It took her some time to pack, and he let her. She was at the door trying to figure out how to say good-bye, at the threshold realizing she didn't want to leave but hurt too much to stay.
Somehow there was more arguing. Somewhere in it they each heard the agony of the other. And misery. And guilt. And finally reason.
On the morrow they broke Rellak's heart and lost Jaelle. Traded for the child. When the pack had been passed to her Companion, Anna knew. She suspected he did too. When the child returned without Jaelle they knew they had traded several broken hearts and one whole Jaelle to rescue the child....
-
*a letter arrives to Quillwem, via the Berylite temple. It is wrapped in two layers of parchment and sealed with a wax stamp, the head of a wolf pressed in.*
Dear Quillwem,
It has been a long time since our last visit. I hope that Lalaith and your sweet child are well. I hope also that this letter finds you in good spirits.
I am sorry to say this is not a social letter. Long have we shared our attachments and care for children and this is by far the worst case I have seen in some time. Connor and I are in need of your aid rather urgently for this child. I am happy to fill in the details for you when you arrive, but we are in need of your divine gift as soon as you are able. Along with his injured spirit due to so many ill things, the child, Liam, has lost an eye and we are direly hoping you will be able to tell us if it is correctable. The monster that caused this forced his own sister to take the eye and I think it would go along way to healing a terrible wound between them if there is something that can be done to fix this.
Please write with word that you can arrive, or simply come to the house in Krandor were the children and I await. With luck Connor will also be here, but he has further matters with this monster that keep him often away.
~lee
Dearest Lee,
It has been a long time and I am sorry as well that this is not a social letter. I am forever in your debt for what you have done for me over the years and I will make all haste to be at your house with in the next two days. I hope we are not too late to restore Liam's vision but, I fear more for his emotional well been then his physical..
I will see you soon dear friend.
Love,
Quill
P.S. Lalaith and Av'ariela are both well and send their respect and love to you and Connor.
-
Jaelle lay in the tented room amidst the bodies and bodies of active helpers, mostly halflings dressed in desert garb. It was a busy scene full of vibrance and surety. The thin elvish barely-a-woman was broken and emaciated. Her hands damaged beyond reason, and who knows what toll her soul had paid. She was barely with them in the tented room. She had fight but the hold on her body was tenuous. They'd taken her straight away to the tribes, likely the best place in the world for Jaelle to heal.
Anna hoped Jaelle would heal. Anna was sick. Sick with worry, sick with what she was seeing. She couldn't let it show on her face. Jaelle needed them to be as brave as she had been for the weeks they had searched and tracked and finally regained Jaelle. Brave, stubborn, idiotic, stubborn, barely a woman....
Meadow Vaeran smiled to Anna, “Of course, little dryad, I know you hate sitting when there's work to be done.” Meadow had answered Anna. She didn't want to be in the way of their work but she couldn't take sitting idle when Jaelle needed so much. Jaelle fixed Anna with a befuddled look.
“Anna ...” she whispered faintly, “I think ... I lost something ... but I can't remember what ...” Anna smiled softly to Jaelle.
“Then when you recall it, we will find it together, but for now you need rest an tending more then anything,” She whispered back to Jaelle, trying to soothe her. Jaelle frowned slightly and Anna fought to keep her smile in place.
Near by Daman Livenoak, Tribe Elder of these clans, moved easily through the room. He deposited dishes with solutions of kinds Anna couldn't identify, some clean rags and some small but sharp knives. Meadow glanced at him in a sort of sideways manner that kept her patient in her sight.
“She's going to need a lot of rest for the head,” Meadow said to him.
“I think maybe ... it was something important,” Jaelle whispered to Anna.
“I know you are going to hate this, but right now there's nothing more important then your tending...” Anna whispered back, trying to draw Jaelle's thoughts out of the past and focus them into the work head of them, the work they were presently beginning. Anna kept at her work, trying to be gentle with every touch, even the places that didn't look damaged. Meadow glanced at Connor, a question in her expression, perhaps something he'd said that Anna hadn'thd the focus to hear. He only arched a brow in return. Daman placed one hand on Jaelle's forehead carefully. Reluctantly, the elf closed her eyes and made every effort to be still
“Awrite.. lass this is gonna sting a little.. ye tell me where it hurt's the most..” he said. She cracked an eye open at Daman's words.
“Why ... what are you going to do?” Jaelle quipped suspiciously.
“Turn you into a frog and pop you into the stewpot, of course!” Meadow fired back without missing a beat. Jaelle's expression clouded in puzzlement. Her eyes flicked over to Connor as if trying to seek some rationality from him. He only smiled and shook his head slightly.
“Let them help you,” Connor suggested gently, “Trust me.” Jaelle grew quieter and relaxed a little at Connor's words though fixed her eyes back on Daman.
“Jaelle, we would not have brought you to some place you would be at risk. Meadow an Daman an the rest here are far more skilled then any I know,” Anna whispered to Jaelle, indicating the two lead halflings with her head as she spoke their names.
“We gonna check if ye' cracked in the head lass, the quicker we find it the easier it is ter deal with it,” Daman said with rather easy fatherly tone.
“We're going to need a tight wrap around here...” Meadow gestured to Jaelle's ribs with one hand, directing some of the other halflings. “You're too kind Daman, I haven't had frog legs in some time!” She fired back to the elder halfling in easy banter.
“I am NOT cracked in the head ...” Jaelle forced out with as much gusto as she could manage, but her tone dropped almost instantly. “I hope...” Connor smiled at Jaelle's response.
“Jaelle...He means physically... You've a fair amount of injury...” Anna countered softly.
“Of course not, you're just half blind and a few spoons of flesh short of a stew!” Meadow smarted back tartly. Daman patted Jaelle's cheek then proceeded with a firm, but not brusque, touches around to Jaelle's forehead, temples and eventually the rest.
“Tell me where it hur's lass then.. ifffen ye not then we be good!” Daman said to Jaelle. He began to clean injuries as he worked. Anna squinted, watching his hands move with expert quickness, performing the two tasks at once. Jaelle began to laugh at Daman's words but then began to gasp and wheeze.
“Shall I tell you where it doesn't hurt? Shorter list ...” she gasped out in reply.
“Har,” the elder laughed briefly.
“Believe me, I think you will be just fine... still plenty of life left in you and that's the hardest part!” Meadow said. Connor and Anna smiled at the exchange. Anna's eyes slid past the brooding tracker who had come with them, a friend or confidant of Jaelle's. His usual glower was replaced with a small smile at the proceedings. The worry lines did not peel away but the easy manner of the care takers was clearly working on more than just the patient. Anna resumed her cleaning.
She was going to be alright. Jaelle, was going to make it. Their family would be whole again. Anna just kept thinking those thoughts over and over again.
-
“Meadow will let us know that once she be done wif her. Ye can stay here as lon' as ye like lad, there be no one kickin' ye out of the mountain,” the elder halfling said to the brooding ranger. Caerwyn nodded, managing another little smile. “We kin always use a strong hand here! And Connor can.. I dunno.. turn the lights on!”
“Heeeyyyy....” Connor said immediately, despite knowing the easy manner in which Daman teased. Anna giggled quietly, almost too giddy in the aftermath of all of the trauma. Everything felt surreal.
“So whut's been wit' ye Connor!” Daman asked as they gathered for a meal and to await the the news of Jaelle's hands.
“Magic, of course!” Connor quipped playfully, “Chased some Pit-kind from the mountains most recently.” Caerwyn turned to listen.
“We could bring the whole kit out this way you know... .Stay a while...” Anna whispered softly to Connor. He nodded a little.
“Oh, good idea,” he replied easily. They both knew, whatever the outcome, Jaelle wouldn't be able to travel soon.
“Pit stuff huh?” Daman grinned. Connor nodded. “Soun's like a story ter me!”
“A bit,” Anna nodded, wrinkling her nose.
“So whuts it aboot?” Daman asked, always keen for a good story.
“A well someone thought he could operate a gate in the mountains...bloody thing woke me up when he switched it on.” Connor began. Anna set her jaw lightly, remembering that exact night.
“Whut kinner gate?” Daman asked curiously.
“A gate between realities....between us and the Pits,” Connor began, easily, “He was moving others there or here, depending on their wants. Some that came here were trying to organize the gnolls.”
“And how ye manage ter get rid of it?” Daman asked focusing in on the finer details immediately.
“Oh, that was actually easier than I thought,” Connor answered, recentering his thoughts, “Turns out there was this gnome lady who was the prime part of the gate. Once I got her away, the gate collapsed.”
“A gnome..?” Daman asked curiously. Caerwyn blinked in surprise.
“That was the last little bird we brought this way...” Anna said, nodding a little, a small frown on her face. Connor nodded as well.
“Deep gnome actually,” he said, “Her left arm had been replaced with something of the Pits, and it made her a good focus, it seems.”
“Ser.. wait a minute,” Daman stopped Connor, “Ye used the gnome's arm ter dispel the gate?” Anna shook her head quickly.
“Not us...”
“Oh no...the gnome's arm made her very suitable to be the gate,” Connor clarified.
“Used by someone else..” Anna clarified further.
“Were you able to do anything to restore her arm?” Caerwyn asked. Anna shook her head. He nodded back sadly.
“Ye took someone else's arm..?” Daman asked, squinting in confusion.
“No, I didn't...she still has that arm,” Connor said, “The Blacks were involved, if it helps.”
“Of course they were! They like arms!” Daman said.
“An Pits,” Anna said making a face.
“Yes...usually the figurative ones,” Connor said, “Arms, that is.”
“Har! Aye! So is there be an armless gnome walkin 'bout?” Daman asked.
“She kept it....” Anna said, looking a little dubious. Connor laughed a little.
“No, not yet,” Connor said, “She keeps it, seems rather attached to it, if you pardon the pun.”
“Har!” Daman exclaimed, “Sorry lad, as ye can imagine I have an interest in arm stories!” He waved his stubby left one up. Caerwyn glanced over in surprise at this. Connor only grinned and nodded.
“I doubt you'd be wnting this one,” Connor offered. Daman squinted.
“So yer suggestin' there be a chance I kin get it?”
“Pretty slim, I'd guess,” Connor answered, “I meant one like it.”
“Awrite awrite,” Daman acquiesced, “Its been so long without one that it prolly be weird with one like that.”
“Probably.....” Connor said, squinting a little,”You know, I'm not sure I ever heard how you came to be without.” Anna's brows twitched upward.
“Har! These?” Daman exclaimed, “I though I told Anna girl here tha' story!”
“Yes well,” Connor said, looking dubiously at Anna, “She's not thought to inform me.” Connor let his mask slip a little, showing a playfullness. She wrinkled her nose and thought about it. Something tickled her memory about such a tale but it had been so long and really, she'd come to just accept the 'condition' without a thought.
“Werl whuts be the whole point of this bardin' thing then!” Daman said. Anna's face scrunched up a little then she made a small 'oh' with her mouth. “Ha! She remembered!”
“Oh indeed!” Connor agreed, his playfully dubious gaze intensifying some.
“Lets have it lass, ye be havin' a prettier voice than mine,” Daman declared. She felt the heat rush to her face and leaned into Connor some to cover it shyly.
“That was told a long time ago...” She offered self-consciously, though tries to smile through it.
“Are ye seriously tellin -me- that ye heard somethin' ter lon' ago??” Daman quipped. Connor covered a snicker with his hand. Anna blushed more deeply and lowers her eyes.
“He's very old...” Lei Lowcliff, another elder, offered sideways to Caerwyn. Daman laughed. Caerwyn nodded a bit and smiled.
“I gathered that, yes,” he answered.
“Well..” Daman began slowly. Anna continued to wrack her brain trying to gather the details of the tale in her mind. “It wus a long time ago.. I can tell ye that much.”
“How long is long?” the ranger prodded.
“There be dragons about' the place, that long!” Daman quipped. Caerwyn nodded and Anna nearly laughed. She bit it back and watched quietly.
“Very old indeed,” the young man said, leaning to Lei a bit.
“Oh he is archaic!” she answered, “When he was young the century wasn't even planned!”
“But sharper then most,” Anna said, winking playfully at Caerwyn.
“Har.. aye aye,” the eldest halfling snickered at the banter. For an odd moment he sounded very much like a sailor to Anna.
“I gathered that as well,” Caerwyn smiled to Anna.
“Ter be honest, it be so long ago... the whole thing is blurry now, but at the time there be a lot to be wary of in the desert,” Daman mused, “In particular was this nasty bit of a dragon that tended to not mind eating the folk around.”
“It's -still- no picnic... in places,” Caerwyn cut in a bit. Daman laughed.
“Aye aye, gotta watch yerself around the place,” he said then picked up his thread, “This be dragon had a tendency to like the halfling kind and back when I was jumping more than I be walking. Werl, lets just say that she and I had a major disagreement of where my arm should be. She insisted that it be in her teet, I said the contrary. Evidently she had a higher stake than me.” Anna wrinkled her nose slightly.
“I remember now...” Anna whispered, mostly to herself.
“Were you ever able to settle accounts with her?” Caerwyn asked.
“Oh we settled!” Daman laughed, “She be dead now and I am still kicking.” Connor grinned at this.
“There's a lesson there to be sure,” Connor said with amusement.
“So I loss a hand!” Daman grinned, “I think I came out on the winning side, beside, it wasn't the good hand! I wus hopin' to dig in the dragon when she was taken care of for me rings. Alas... there be a time fer goodbye! Besides! Who needs ter be walkin' about with dragon parts!”
“Sounds like you ended up having the higher stake after all,” Caewyn said, smilng broadly. Connor wrinkled his nose at the notion.
“The same dragon that caused the split....” Anna leaned over to whisper to Connor.
“Which split? I think I remember two,” he answered.
“The halfling tribes split,” she said, gesturing slightly with her hand, “Shadowfangs..” Recognition flashed in Connor's eyes and he nodded slightly.
“And most likely the rings had,” Caerwyn was continuing, “...passed on anyway.”
“Ew...” Daman said. Connor made a face as well. “Suppose there be that too lad.” Caerwyn smiled a little sheepishly. Anna made a little face but then set her long cooled soup down next to her.
“You -do- do wonders with that remaining hand though,” Caerwyn recovered, nodding at Daman.
“Aye well, she ain't called Lady Comfort for no reason,” he quipped.
“I was so intent on holding Jaelle's shoulders I didn't even notice.”
“Comes with the practice lad!” Daman said, “Iffen ye decide to stick about I kin show ye some tricks.”
“If I do, I'd like that much,” Caerwyn said, 'Thank you.”
“You'll need to cut off your hand though...only way to do it proper,” Connor said evenly, looking to Caerwyn. Anna giggled quietly, unable to remain as straight as Connor, caught off guard by his joke.
“Har! The lad's gotta point!” Daman laughed.
“Oh?” Caerwyn said to Connor, “I don't know if I'm -that- interested.” More smiles and amusement were shared though each of their thoughts lingered heavily over the events of the cave nearby. The lack of sound or news weighed on each of them, something likely tangible to the elder.
Connor took a spoonful of soup, though made a face at the coolness of it. He swallowed it down anyway.
“Lots to be seein' 'round here this time o' year ter,” Daman said, picking up the earlier portion of their conversation. Anna smiled a little. “Gryphon migrations soon as well'.. tha's a sight ter see.” He grinned. Anna's heart lifted instantly.
“Oh!”
“Ohhh... I'll surely have to stay for that. And hmmm...” Connor said, immediately brightening as well, “You wouldn't mind a few more eyes here for a time would you?” Anna brightened, knowing exactly what Connor was thinking. She turned hopeful eyes on Daman.
“Never enough lad,” Daman answered easily.
“How big are the flocks, if that's the proper term?” Caerwyn asked curiously.
“The biggest flocks are about two dozen or so, but they gather aroun' the mountains this time o' year,” Daman answered.
“I've never seen more than two gryphons in one place at a time...” Caerwyn mused then turned a little regretful, “And I'd like to stay for the migrations, but sadly I have obligations I must meet.”
“Har lad, well ye be in for a spectacle iffen ye stay,” Daman smiled.
“Sight to be held, so the tales go,” Anna echoed.
“Perhaps I could return later to try and catch the migrations in progress?” Caerwyn asked.
“I dunno lad! It ain' gonna be waitin' fer ye!” Daman answered.
“I understand,” Caerwyn nodded.
“The other littles...and our not-so-littles might enjoy the sight,” Connor said. Anna smiled and settled against Connor. She closed her eyes and imagined briefly the younger children running at play here in the near-wilds, seeing Jaelle healed and whole with her baby girl in her arms.
“Aye lad! Bring ter little ones,” Daman said easily, “They coul' always use some more here.”
“A vacation would do them well, I think,” Connor nodded. Anna nodded as well, opening her eyes.
“Hopefully heal some wounds with good company...”she murmured.
“You're youngsters are how old Connor?” Caerwyn sked.
“My son is in his twenties,” Connor answered easily, “...as is Anna's. I thought to also bring Finn, Lissa and Liam along with Aislin of course.”
“I misunderstood,” Caerwyn said, “I know you were bringing the rescued children but I didn;t know if you meant your own as well or not”
“Doubting they'd let us go with out,” Anna said nodding.
“They can be stubborn like that,” Connor added. Anna wrinkled her nose and snickered.
“So how many between the ter of ye?” Daman asked. An old, deep pang hit Anna. Not enough, she thought sadly to herself. She opened her eyes to look at Connor. Connor was pressing his lips before answering. She knew he felt the same pang.
“Her son, my son and the three we rescued makes five,” Connor answered somewhat selectively, “Jaelle's daughter makes six under our roof right now.”
“Ye didnae answer me question!” The elder pressed, perhaps knowing, perhaps not. Anna lowered her eyes, the pang becoming a stabbing.
“There is no other number to give,” Connor answered. Anna could hear, almost feel the discomfort in his voice, compounding her own. “There are no children between us.”
“Why be that lad?” Daman asked, seeming genuinely curious. Perhaps he thought it an injury he could heal with the ways of his people. If only, she wished with sudden fervent want. She fought back tears. If only.... Connor took a couple of breaths, perhaps his struggle was similar to hers.
“It seems those like us are no longer welcome to produce children of our own,” He said finally.
“Ahhhhh,” Daman nodded to Connor with the realization, “Ye be pointy eared!” Connor nodded in return. She felt the familiar motion as she leaned against him.
“Well that's a cryin' shame,” Daman declared instantly, “Ye be having really hairy children...” His words caught Anna and possibly Connor off guard. They both laughed a little. It was a bittersweet sound. Anna's heart ached all the more but she couldn't help but blush at the thought. If only...
“Well ye can have more dogs iffen it helps,” Daman offered. Anna looked up right away, remembering the stout friendly dogs of the clans. Her heart warmed a little at the thought and she smiled at him in thanks.
“I'd best stay with just Teph here,” The woodsman said with a small smile, something on his voice that Anna didn't quite understand. Her emotion sensitive ears pricked a little but she didn't feel she could pry despite her curiosity.
“It may!” Connor answered, “And we'll be back I'm sure. We still have a decades left in us.”
Their beloved Sachi came home at the end of a long, long stay. The playful giant ever-pup keeping Anna company and Connor damp with dog kisses.
The children did come, all eagerly awaiting the view of swaths of gryphons filling the sky on their way to warmer places of plenty. So very much happened in those weeks, so much healing but a rift formed too. One that stacked with the previous rift. Anna couldn't shake the feeling that Jaelle had become a little more Mist's child and a little less her family.
-
Weeks and weeks had passed. Was it a full season? It seemed like the time had passed quickly but surreally it had been forever since they had laid eyes on their door. They returned to the place, familiar to all but the newest member of their family, Sachi. It had been something of a delight to chase after the pup for some of the children. A delight for all but Liam.
Liam's trauma was through and through. Distant at most times, sometimes barely functional. He had been so before the monsters had kidnapped him and his siblings. Whatever work they had done to reverse his trauma before then had been reversed and then some. Anna could barely turn loose of him for the first few weeks. Despite his size and weight, she took him every where with her throughout the day. Every chore or activity, every play time with Lisse or Finn, even Aislin when she was present, Liam was there with Anna.
She worked with him through whatever means she could to bring his mind back to them. There was direct interactions like feeding and washing him, but she read to him and talked to him. Apart from his inability to function on his own, Anna treated him like he was completely normal the way he was. There was plenty of help from the rest of the family, especially Connor. Merlin and Lindel seemed more than content to stay and help with their growing family.
It was such a blessing to have a full house like this. She adored having the children in the house. In that, she almost felt whole once again. She wished things would simply settle into a normal routine and go back to how it was before the months long struggle to regain the children from the monster. It was not settling and neither was she. With the monsters still out there somewhere, she felt unsteady, always worrying they would return to take them all again, including Jaelle... Especially Jaelle. Reckless, headstrong Jaelle.
Anna admired her courage to simply pick up and start going again. It took some time for her to begin her first steps but Anna felt Jaelle took her first steps only to run headlong into other dangers, possibly just as great. She was her own woman, of course, and Anna could do little but worry quietly. The rift between them was growing and Anna could feel it tearing a hole in their family. She feared Jaelle would soon seek a place of her own and be gone from them, taking beautiful little Aislin from them.
Not for the first time Anna recalled the baby's first cries in this world, and so many beautiful moments with both the daughter and the woman herself. Her heart ached. Her head told her she should have known better. She had tried not to get attached. She tried to remember that Jaelle was a Mistite, child of cruel defiance. Some how it wasn't enough. Her want for a family, her real admiration of Jaelle, want for the sounds of little children in the house, so many things she and Connor could not have had alone. It was too much and she caved and then their three new children came, finally safe and protected.
If only.... If only things could be whole. If only their family could be whole...
She sighed and waited in the big room near the fire with Liam. They sat in wait for Connor to return, called away on some urgent matter by Section Commander Creekskipper. Perhaps another dread. Perhaps not. She wrapped her arms around Liam and cradled his form and began to sing softly to the child, perhaps trying to bring comfort to them both.