My book-A.F.

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Dad and I finally left Hempstead and made our way back to haven. Its been a pretty quiet trip.

On the way back, dad wanted to do some training with me. He said I was getting pretty good with a bow, but I needed to become better with close in combat.

We practiced hard, and it was alot of fun. Really tiring though. It reminded me so much of when i was younger and dad was teaching us how to use weapons and stuff back in the village.

He told me since I was getting older now, and that I will probably get into more trouble than i do already, he wants to be sure I can take care of myself if I get into trouble.  He also said that I needed to be able to keep the boys away.

He wants to spend more time with me training and travelling and most importantly..keeping me outta trouble! O.o

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Finally made it back home to Haven.

I cant say I was looking forward to it. I did, but I also realize that the way I left...I feel like I may not be overly welcome or things might be really 'uncomfortable' between us.

I know we were finally starting to become friends, then dad left, and things got really strained. Then I left without a word.

The hardest thing was when dad nad I finally walked into haven. Dad was really nervous, not that I blame him. He has enough stuff going on between him and miss Jenna. Im sure he wasnt looking forward to seeing her like this. I was just scared taht she would hate me for leaving like I did, and things would be bad between us. Not that I can blame her I suppose. I know i made her life difficult more than once.

Dad sent he sent a letter to her when we got back to hempstead the first time, nad also one telling her we were on our way. So I was not expecting to surprise her when we show up. I was expecting more like, she would open the door, look at us, say "hello glad your not dead" nad slam the door in our faces.

In some ways I feel that would have been easier on me, i wouldnt have to deal withthe guilt and feeling terrible for what I did or put her thru. Instead, when we arrived, she was outside playing witht he kids. She saw us, when we walked up I just couldnt look at her. I mean I did, but after giving her a quick smile and saying hello I immediately sunk my head and tried not to look at her. I couldnt bear it. She just grabbed me and hugged me. Then she said the magic words and things were a lot better...'You realize your grounded right'. I just started crying and hugged her back.

Afterwards we all had dinner and dad and I told her of what we had been doing and where we had gone. Dad had a good time playing with the little ones. THey had grown so much since I last saw them!

I know things are never gonna be the same, but then, i cant say I expected things to go back to the way they were. At least I know I have a chance with making things right with miss Jenna and she doesnt hate me.

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Well, the groundnig part hasnt been so bad I guess. Im not really even grounded I guess. Just alot of work around the house with the babes and cleaning adn stuff.

Im not even dreading it like I used to. I guess having some quiet time is alwyas  a nice thing once in awhile.

Dad has been coming around alot more these past couple of weeks to. He takes me out and we train, and just hang out. Its nice actually.

He told me yesterday that he has talked to mr Quantum and that Im gonna be able to see sonya soon, probably in the next week or so. I cant wait!!

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Dad says mr Quantum hasnt told him when i can meet Sonya again. I guess shes in the middle of some important trials or something. Im sure she will do fine, but I do miss her. :\\

I havent heard from Sarah either. I hope she is alright. Maybe dad will take me to Hempstead and I can swing by the angels guild and knock on the door or something. Dad wont take me to the house in Haft Lake right now. He says he isnt comfortable with me there right now. :\\

At least miss Jenna has decided to let me out of her sight now. I dunno...I spend alot of time up by the pond alone right now. I continue to practice my magick training stuff. Mostly I just enjoy being where its quiet. Most of the kids I went to school with are gone now and I dont have to go back to those classes anymore. Though, I have to admit...I dont like reading most of those old musty tomes. Dad found a few that belonged to my mother. And he said those belonged to her mother before her. He said i should study them like she did. We talked alot about her. I wish I had known her.

Dad also gave me another gift. He said it was the type of sword my mother used when he met her. It was a long saber, dad called it a katana. He said I should have it. Especially since he said I reminded him so much of her. He was gonna see if he could find someone to teach me some of the nuances of using it. If I wanted to that is. I think i do, its light and feels nice. I think dad made it. Hes a master weaponmaker or something according to Kurgin.

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GAH!!!

I hate reading nad studying!! I cant take it anymore! Stupid stuff just doesnt stick in my head like it used to. Why cant I even make the tiny cantrips like i did before. I read the stupid books, memorize the stupid words...>:/

I cant believe it miss the classes! At least there i had Sonya to help me get it right.

At least dad is coming tomorrow to take me to hempstead. Maybe we will be able to take the long way around. Go collect stuff for dads guild.

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Yay!! Dad stopped by today and he told me to start getting ready to head to Hempstead.

He gave me a letter from the guy he arranged to teach me more about my sword. Its mister Pandorn! Seems im gonna be spending more time in the angels guild which means I might get lucky and see Sarah alot more, or at least hear news of her.

You know..as Im writing this...I think Cole is mr Pandorns son. He was cute the last time I saw him, and really nice too. Maybe I will be training with him too!

Yay! Well time to get packing!

*she places a letter into the fold of her journal...

Abigail,
My name is Kyle Pandorn. I don't know if you remember me...but your mother was a dear friend to me as your father is now. I actually held you as a baby a long time ago. Your father has made a request of me.

I understand he has given you a katana blade much like your mother's. She always favored it...as do I. He has asked me to teach you how to use it. I have trained all my life with one and have become a Master at its use.

I would be honored to train you if that is what you want.

Kyle Pandorn

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Its been a quiet little trip so far. I asked dad if we were in any hurry to get to hempstead, and im glad he said no.

I am listening to the sounds of the forest, and watching the stars at nite. I actually like standing watch. It gives me some nice time to sit and think and stuff.

Dad has been having me learn how to use this sword as best as he can. Its kinda strange, cause I learned to use a longsword a long time ago and i keep trying to use this one one handed. It feels kinda weird to use it 2 handed. That and my arms are sore and tied all the time. :p

Im still not getting this casting thing. I used to be so good at it I thought. Memorize a few hand gestures, speak the words and poof...there you go. Now I ant seem to get things thru my head. I jsut get ticked at myself and nothing happens. Oh well...>:/

Dad says we will reach hempstead in a few days. Im glad, since im in no hurry. Im enjoying our time together.

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We finally made it back to the city. Im kinda sad about it...I was having such a good time with dad and wandering the paths of the forests.

He said I get to meet mr. Pandorn tomorrow and start to learn about my new weapon. I am actualyl kinda exited about it. I mean, the training is hard, and Im sure its gonna be tough. Dad put me thru the wringer on the way here as it was! But Im more excited about maybe seeing Sarah again, or at least hearing word of her. I bet my training is gonna be in the angels guild hall again.

Maybe I will even see uncle Dalan again. Its been a long time and dad said the last he saw uncle Dalan he was heading off with miss Grenna.

Well, I better go feed the dog and get some sleep. I have a feeling its gonna be along day tomorrow!

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I am still sooo tired....

Mr. Pandorn met me at the entrance to the angels guild place. As he took me inside to where he prepared a bunch ofd stuff for us I saw Sarah!!!

She was fighting with a couple of knives, which I thought was really impressive! As soon as I saw her finish I ran up to her and gave her a big hug! I think she was surprised to see me! As usual I started chattering like a squirrel and nearly forgot to breathe!! :p

Then mr Pandorn got my attention and I had to go. But sarah said she was gonna wait for me so I was really happy!

Mr Pandorn definitely worked me really hard. But thats okay, i was enjoying myself, especially since I knew I was gonna be able to see Sarah again after we were done. Im surprised I can even lift this quill my arms are so heavy. they feel like those giant rocks dad goes mining for. O.o

After class I went found uncle dalan in the kitchens. I snuck up on him and gave him a big hug from behind! I was so glad to see him after so long. I even chatted to him in dwarfen which kinda shocked him. Ive been practicing alot at the guild with kurgin. Not that I have much choice since he will only talk to me in dwarfen when he sees me now. the only way for me to learn properly he says. Anyway, after hugging uncle dalan again I went looking for sarah again.

I found her outside in the park just sitting there and playing with her little dragons. they were really cute together.

We talked for along time. I guess shes feeling like her home nad family arent feeling like her home and family anymore. I guess I can understand that sortof. I remember when I left home because i felt abandoned and alone. But I know its a bit different for her. I really dont understand why she feels that way, but I know she went thru a lot before we found her.

She told me she was going back to the one place and made me promise not to tell anyone. I told her she better keep in touch and not totally disappear on me. :\\

After she left I sat there for awhile with one of her baby dragons. She seemed to want to keep me company after sarah left. Probably because i was so sad and just sat there looking at the stars as they came out.

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This last week has been really tough for me...

I miss Sarah already...I just hope she is alright. I know she hasnt been gone that long, but I cant help but hope she is going to be alright. She seemed so alone when we last met. Alone and sad, hoping to find something like I did before I left. I cant help but feel its mostly my fault this happened to her. After all, if she hadnt chased after me when I ran away from home, and I hadnt sent her back to hempstead on that stupid ship by herself, none of this would have happened.

The little dragon she left with me, or rather decided to stay with me stirred up alot of old memories of chippy. I miss my little squirrel friend alot. ANd having this little dragon following me all the time is making me a little nervous. I keep thinking that something bad might happen to her if she stays with me, and yet at the same time I dont want her to leave either. I think Im gonna have to come up with a name for her. Especially since she hasnt really told me her name yet. :\\

Mr Pandorn is really working me hard with the sword. I swear my arms are turning to lead after each practice. But its good, i find my mind isnt so muddled with a bizillion thoughts when we are training like that.

My old magick studies seem lost to me right now. I keep trying to look at my old texts adn at least cast something small like i used to be able to do. But my mind just doesnt seem to want to wrap itself around all the words adn mumbo jumbo stuff. ITs really frustrating...though sometimes when i get really irriated I can force something small to happen. ITs like it comes from inside me rather than being called from my head. I dunno..its really hard to explain even to myself. O.o

I need sleep...:p

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Im glad i had today off.

I really like training everyday, mr Pandorn is really nice and his son COle finally made an appearance too!

I will admit that I was a bit distracted by him. He is as cute as i remember and just as nice. Seems he wants to take off an join some  rangers, I think they are the ones i met along time ago. I remember when we would play hide an seek on occasion in the woods. He was always pretty good, though never as good as me.

I saw something else really interesting too. I was wandering the forest around Hempstead an I saw something interesting. A small group of merchants i think were heading north on the path. A small group of bandits jumped out and tried to rob them! I was about to pull my bow out when i saw the strangest thing... The one lady put them all to sleep with a magic spell. All the bandits were alseep! The funny thing is..i know it wasnt done using a magic spell...the lady kinda glowed and the bandits all fell down. There wasnt the chanting and stuff i had to do when i was learning with sarah! O.o

I ran up and asked if they were all alright and after helping tie up the bandits to a tree by the side of the road, i asked the one lady what she did to them. I told her I know a little bit about magic but i didnt think she cast a spell liek i knew how. Was she a super wizard or something? :rolleyes: Turns out, she never had a magic teacher. She jsut knew how to do the magic and it came from inside her somehow.  :\\

That kinda threw me for a loop. After I said goodbye i told them i would get the guards.

Unfortunately I forgot about hte bandits adn went back into the woods. I meant ot go get the guards..but I had a lot to think about and got distracted.

I finally remembered them and went and told the guards before dinner...turns out the guards already found them. They had been severely beaten adn were covered in lots of nasty stuff from various animals nad rotted veggies. O.o  Well, i hope they learned theiur lesson at least, guess they got what they deserved at any rate.

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I was out in the forest today after practice. Ive been thinking alot lately about what i saw. What I have experienced and what I can remember from as far back as i can remember.

Eggie making my hands all glowy, spontaneous things happening in the village when i really got excited or scared. Even when I was in classes with Sarah and Mr Rain.  

Maybe I should be trying to call it from inside myself, instead of relying on memorizing words and funny gestures. Maybe that is what im missing right now. Maybe im trying so hard to make the magic from doing stupid rituals and stuff and maybe i should just focus and bring it from within me. :\\

I dunno..i just need to find some focus somehow. I think thats the trick. But it shouldnt be a trick..it should be real...AAAARRRGHHHH!!! >:/

Maybe Mica (pronounced Mee-Kah) can give me some inspiration.

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Mr Pandorn was really hard on me this week. Well..not me so much as I think he was being tough on Cole and I. trying to keep out of trouble i think more than anything. Exhaustion can do that to you! :p

Actually, what happened was Cole showed up with his dad and he came up with the idea of us training out in the woods instead of the guildhall. Of course, I agreed quite quickly. I mean, I much prefer the woods over the guildhall anytime, and Cole being there had nothing to do with it.

During our breaks we just plunked down with out backs to some trees and just laughed at how tired we were. We talked about the forest, and wandering the paths of the woods around Hempstead. Seems we both prefer the woods to the city more than I thought.

It was funny, cause as soon as Cole and I really started chatting, and of course, I had to flirt a little bit. Or at least try to, hanging around dwarfs and adults all the time isnt exactly conducive to meeting boys. His dad said we had rested enough and put us back to work. :rolleyes:

I actualyl though of what miss Grenna told me once, if I like a boy I need to hit him on the head with a shovel and drag him off somewhere. Im not to sure about that idea though...I dont think Coles head is as hard as dwarfs and I wouldnt want to hurt him to badly.

Im going to bed..i can barely see straight and Im gonna pass out nopw.

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Uncle Dalan stopped by the orcbashers today. I havent really seen him in along time. At least it seems like that. I only saw him briefly whenever i was training with Mr Pandorn so I didnt have time to really see him.

I was so happy to see him. We ate some pie that he had made, and talked alot about my training and whats going on.

I guess he and miss Grenna are really getting along well. Not that I didnt know that after catching those two snogging!

He then told me he was going to hte swamps soon. He wanted me to go with him. Its where he took me all those years ago. Where he named his axe and where my momma fell. He said he wanted me to go if I had the time and of course i said yes.

I will tell dad, nad make arrangements with mr Pandorn. Uncle Dalan said eggie was coming with us too. I havent seen him in forever! I wonder if he remembers me. Though, I really cant remember him its been so long.

After uncle Dalan left, I kinda wanted to be by myself so I told kurgin I was goin to my room. I just sat there and tried to remember momma...

I cant really, I was so young...I dont know, i think i can picture her holding me, of feeling safe and happy and warm. But then i think im just imagining it all. I do remember when uncle Dalan took me to the place where she fell the first time. It was really overwhelming.

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I told dad about going with uncle Dalan in a few days to the swamp where momma fell. He was kinda surprised actually. He didnt think uncle Dalan still went there anymore. I know he was very concerned about me going into that place. He said that trolls werent as numerous as thy used to be, but it was still dangerous. It took me awhile to convince him I was gonna be alright, and he eventually said yes.

I told him that uncle Dalan still felt responsible for what happened that day. So he goes to remember her and to remind himself not to let it ever happen again. I think he feels closest to her there for some reason. Probably because of what happened.

I think I feel closer to her back in the old village under her cherry tree where dad buried her. I remember feeling like she was there with me as I sat next to her tree by the stream. I know I felt safe there...

I also got aletter from Sarah. I guess she is doing really well. I cant wait til she comes to visit. I really miss her. Come to think of it, Im actually surprised mr Rain or her mom havent tried to interrogate me as to her whereabouts yet. :\\  Im sure they miss her alot and are worried about her.

Dear Abi,

Yesterday I arrived to my destination. that night we all had a meal fit for a queen to celebrate my return.
the next day I resumed my training and by the end of the afternoon I got my final test. At first I thought I failed it but when I return I quickly noticed I had succeeded. Even my trainer was happy. She even gave me some new weapons to use.

I'm going to stay here a bit longer to work on my skills.When I return home I will send you an other bird with that news.

Untill then be happy and don't let yourself go down for anyone or anything.

Be strong.

Your friend Sarah.

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I have enjoyed the trip with uncle Dalan and Eggie so far.

Its been pretty quiet so far. We skirted some bandits outside of Vehl and made our way into the swamps. From there uncle Dalan led us to the spot.

Once we arrived to the spot uncle Dalan gave us both a few flowers to lay at the place where she fell. He then spoke to her. He told her about me, how Im jsut like her in alot of ways, he talked about miss Grenna a little bit. It was very sweet.

Eggie said a few words afterwards also. Though I didnt really hear them as I was kinda crying abit by the time uncle Dalan got done. :p

They asked me if I wanted to say anything, but I couldnt think of anything. For me it didnt feel the same as when I talked to momma under the cherry tree. There I always thought she could hear me, here...I guess its different for uncle Dalan.

On another note...I talked to Eggie about my magick problem tonite before he went to bed. We talked alot about it in fact. Turns out he might be able to help me. He gave me some ideas on how to start out, so while im on watch tonite Im gonna practice a little bit and see what happens. He said I need to really focus my mind and reach deep in myself to a place where i can feel the magic inside of me. At least it was something like that. From there everything else will follow...so cryptic. :\\

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By Jove Ive think Ive got it!

Ive been practicing at night the way that Eggie told me to. Just a simple cantrip like I remember from mr Rains class, just a little light.

I made my hands glow, at least sortof. Not as bright as Eggie did to me that one time, but it was enough. I felt this warm tingle come from somewhere inside me and it filled my arms and as I focused on it, my hands started to glow!

I think I may have found what I lost. I cant wati to practice some more. Maybe Eggie will help out some more. Gods know I need all the help I can get.

Well...tomorrow we will be back at Hempstead and its back to the old routine. Training with mr Pandorn, help out with the shop, annoy Kurgin by mislabelling the ore bins, and see what other trouble I can get into!  

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It was pretty late when we arrived back home. Uncle Dalan and Eggie dropped me off at the shop and we said our goodbyes. Eggie promised to see me again soon to continue trying to help me out. He said I had made really amazing progress in such a short time so I was really happy.

Dad was really happy to see me and he gave me a big hug when he saw me. We talked for awhile about where uncle Dalan took me and what happened. Unfortunately, I was pretty knackered when I arrived so after a quick bite I ended up going to my cot and passing out til morning.

I wanted to spend the morning with dad, but he wasnt here. I guess he got a message from the dragon knights or whatever and had to leave early. I guess it must have been important, it always is. He did leave me a note saying he would be back as soon as possible until then...."keep up my training, heres a list of chores for the shop, and stay out of trouble! Love Dad."

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The shop has been fairly quiet these last few days. I guess Kurgin is out and about doing his own thing. Probably mining and beating on giants again or something. :p

Mr Quantums been arounda bit more of late too. Since I havent seen him alot in a very long time, I keep pestering him about Sonya. I guess shes at the new temple and really working hard right now. He says shes gonna be a paladin or something. That makes sense I guess, since the last time I saw her she was training really hard with weapons and stuff. It seems miss Serissa is doing alot at the rofi temple too. Not that iam in any hurry to see her. Shes probably still mad at me for kicking that priest guy in the you know where. Bet he saw Rofi then! A real religious experience! :p

Mr Pandorns been grilling me pretty hard with the sword too. At least Im getting better at it and dont have to worry about cutting off my big toe with it anymore. I havent seen Cole in awhile. I wonder how hes doing.

I hope sarah decides to come back and visit soon. It sounds like she did really well with her trials, whatever those were. Im glad she seems happy.

Eggie...err..Eghass (he wants me to stop calling him that cause he thinks its embarrassing or something) is coming by soon to see how Im doing. I think he will be happy that Im progressing pretty good. I have been practicing what he told me before, nad now Im trying to do little cantrips and stuff. Im getting more consistent which is good, but I still have a ways to go.

I think im gonna go wander around the town for abit. Then maybe a stroll out into the forest. Its a gorgeous day out, nad I have time. I think Mica will like the walk too. she seems to love hanging around me all teh time now. I swear shes stuck to me like glue since I got back from my trip with uncle Dalan.

Speaking of which...I should go look for him. Hes probably with miss Grenna again. I swear he acts like a 12 year old when he gets around her. They are cute together though. IF miss Grenna is with him..maybe she will give some of that magic 'cough syrup' of hers. It warms me up really nice.

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Well...I wandered a bit too far I think. I ended up near Vehl the other day. Unfortunately there werent any streams nearby so I had to enter the city for water.

I had forgotten how dirty it was. I was pretty nervous in the city..even more so when I found myself near the Rofi temple.

As I ws heading back out of the city the foulest littel creature came up to . I guess he is the cryptkeeper for the rofis. He smelled like dead things and had this weird way about him. IHe asked me to get some essence of something frm down there. I had NO interest in going down there. It smelled terrible, nad I didnt ..still dont trust that little man. I left as soon as I could and refused to help him out. There something wrong with him...besides the smell.

As I was leavingthe city I met a druid named Khuren. He was cooking outside the front gates..kindof a strange place for that I thought. He was nice enough and I sat down by his fire and we chatted for awhile.

Eggy..err..Eghaas showed up too. I think those two knew each other, but anyways. It was a good to see him again. Khuren told us about how the dragons are returning and he jsut came from helping a scaly friend of his. I finally fiugured it out after awhile. But he said the good dragons are returning now. Im glad of that, the only stories ive heard so far have been about hte evil dragons staking their claims.

Soon a halfing named zeke came by. e said he was looking for something called a zamin. So we all decided t help him out. I had never heard of a creature like that so i tagged along. It was funny..Eghaas kept pretty close to me the entire time..i guess to keep me out of trouble.

We met some guy named Caighd. I had a littel fun with him, pretended he forgot who i was aftera nite of drinking..he was pretty flustered at that..especially since he doesnt drink. He later told me that he knew the story of my name. I knew I was named for one of dads friends..to honor her, but I had never been told much else. I am looking forward to that story.

After beating that zamin creature, we all decided to head our separate ways. I ended up entering the catacombs with some mage guy named blake. I guess hte crypt guy convinced him to help. I felt bad for the guy, and he seemed nice enough so I thought I would try to keep him out of trouble. Good thing I did too. theres lots of dead down there walking around! I am surprised that the Rofis would let that happen. I bet the crypt guy had something to do with it. He needs to be dealt with if he does. He took the essence from us after we left the crypts. I dont like that fellow at all. >:/