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Author Topic: Nate's Journal  (Read 1477 times)

Hellblazer

Nate's Journal
« on: May 15, 2020, 03:39:17 pm »
Well, I have arrived to this little place called Center. People here seems content to be where they are, no real aspiration to move forward and do better for themselves, such a waste of the elements, they shouldn't deserve to live. I've been propose to do a few jobs here and there, I need the true and especially new gears as my limited exploration has showed me that compared to the inner cities, the wild is a lot more dangerous. That's fine, I'll adapt. I'll survive, that's why I was trained for.  Might have to pull the friendship chords a little bit, get closer to some so that I can have a better chance out there, it would be to my advantage to do so and to keep what I do secret, at least for now. Don't want to be targeted as soon as I arrived to the neighborhood. Although if a mark does present itself, I won't hesitate.

For the moment the plan is to do the jobs I can while waiting for my master's words.

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2020, 04:47:36 am »
Been traveling a lot lately, partnered up with a monk name Xiao, two dwarves name Van and one I call Beefy flavored Gumbo, an older man named Jeb and a .. well don't even know what to call him beside his name, Martlet, he's smaller than a halfling but not one..

Anyhow things are exhausting, everything out here is soo much advanced compared to the training I had received.. the master would be ashamed of me.

Then there's this Xiao, he makes me laugh at times. Today he was trying to give me the speech of strength in unity using some twigs.. He looked at me blankly and threw the twigs away when I busted his soon approaching parable. He's trying very much to make me see that they are trustworthy and goodie two shoes good doer.. for now though I will keep playing the lost pup, the hurt child left to endure the worst hardship.. only things were not so, I was trained to render those hardships on others. But best they do not know this, keep it under lid and work where I need to work, unknown and unseen. Maybe if I play my cards right, their guild thing, helping the needy and the helpless could present to be the perfect cover. How would people suspect someone of good stature, that is seen with a group helping the masses be a dark agent, one that works in the shadows for his benefits and the benefit of his master?

It's certainly an angle that merits reflection.


//Thanks Xiao, loved the RP!

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2020, 04:33:29 am »
So it is that as I keep training and furthering my skill past what I thought was even possible by looking at those who trained me before sending me to Center, it dawns on me that I have barely scratched the surface.  I know there's much more I can learn and perfect. With that I have taken to push my studies in poison making. As of yet I can only make some of the lesser ones, the sames we were trained on back with the master. I know what these do, but I wish to see what the others does to. I will have to find sometime to test them out somehow. Best it not be on those I travel with as of yet they still serve a purpose.

No word from the Master yet either. So I continue to take the contracts I find. It's astonishing to see how inherently evil this world is. It would seem that for the most part, every contracts I have had, except for maybe 5, have been to kill this, kill that and bring their heads as proof, or something a like.  Yet, when you see all those doo-gooders they will act on these contracts without even thinking about it, and yet they are supposed to be the best of the world, the shining beacons of hope and good. But yet, day in and day out they go out of their way to do what they would call evil in others. It is pure hypocrisy. Because they put it behind a cloak of good intentions to rid the world of evil, to protect those that can't protect themselves, they fool themselves into believing that what they are doing is justified. The end justifies the means. But yet, at the purest view of things, they still do so for prestige, for money, for the next piece of gear that will be better than the one they have. They simply don't want to admit it. Makes it amusing to look at them go, the mighty heroes, the goodness for all, yet they do what I do and if I was caught, I would be branded evil. As it stands maybe I could use that to my advantage later on. How could they judge me and brand me what they are truly themselves too? Oh sure they might not kill the peasant in his field, but yet, they kill the Giant in his home. Who is to say that that Giant was not simply tending to the needs of his family too? Or simply defending the territory of his clan?

No the more I see these things, the more I know that when the times comes, if the time comes, they will simply be peons to be used.

Well maybe with one exception, she did prove to be very .. satisfying. Yet even then, those are fleeting sentiments, and she kinda has the same kind of views I have, although I don't think she realizes it. So no, in the end, even her would be a simple tool to be used. She is cunning though, something to be careful with.

As for the foreseeable future. I have to further my skills, past the point where most of those would go. I am not simply someone who is willing to steal and open doors others can't open. I know I can go much further than others would not dare to go. I have to be able to work in the shadows of things, incognito, be able to infiltrate the enemy. Be able to either gain their trust, or simply move in ways they cannot see. To be what I desire to become, one must be able to move through a crowed of rabid dogs and still reach the target and put an end to him and yet escape without no one knowing I was there. That's what I have to focus on in my trainings. Everything else is just tool to use once I am at that point. It serve very little good to know how to use a poison, if I am not able to administer it without no one else knowing. And to even escape detection, maybe I need to be able to make a compound that while on it's own would not kill tasters, but once combined through the meal and after some time, enough time for me to be gone, then it would activate and end the target.

I wonder if I could find some information on such multi stage poisons.

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2020, 03:44:11 am »
Well, that didn't take long.

I have met the famous Johnny that she talked about that night at the tavern, before we retired for some other kind of adventure. And after the first time I see her since then, it was both of them jumping in their arms of sort and the professing of the missed ya and all. I couldn't hold the snicker when she responded to his embrace. Just didn't expect the cold shoulder that came with it, but such is life, it's either we get betrayed or we betray, and after all I didn't really expect anything of that one night but maybe without realizing it, I did expect a little bit more than I was willing to admit, too late now. But now I know a little something about him and I know of a little something about her.. yes I do, and someday it might come up handy too... You never know.

Also met an other redhead today, Ashelyn Vale. Johnny was showing her the ropes but as soon as Redhead came in the picture, he was all over her and completely forgot that he was helping the new adventurer. Didn't have anything else pressing to do so I showed her Stuckup Town Llast and those that usually needs help, and Hlint. I did tell her that I was not naturally inclined into being a tour guide and that she would have to answer the call one day. She did accept that eagerly. An other thing to use in the future when the need arises. Sometimes people are really to eager to help, even if they actually don't know what they might be called upon to do. But eh, not my problem. Actually, might be the perfect person to subtlety try the multi-stage poison on.  Well see.

Oh my, almost forgot. La blue witch... I didn't know if Elves had those time of the months too, but Vol made me laugh when he said for them it was every day. Getting her name was not that hard, not like pulling a tooth to get some info, but she was reluctant at first. Finally she did give it to me, Kella. We headed to the fog and that's when we met Vol. Vol wanted to know a little bit about what he could provide with wards and because of that the little witch took it as she was not needed and stormed off into the cave without waiting for us. I half expected to find her dead, which I would have kinda grinned about, but instead for some reason I was the one who ended up being unable to use my potions at one time and my body refused my brain order while fighting. That was a little unnerving. Ended up killing me too. Sneaked back in the cave but both Vol and the witch had gone. Nothing really more to expect there.

//Thanks Ashlyn, Johnny, Kella/Lilah and Vol for the rp today, was great!
« Last Edit: June 21, 2020, 04:02:03 am by Hellblazer »
 

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2020, 12:16:22 am »
Well it has been some time since I dusted off this journal.

Many things have happened, many things have stayed the same. I'm still unsure of what's happening with Liliah, while she did say she wanted to settle things down and then we could continue our path together, she's been acting like that discussion has never happened. And each time he's there it's the cold shoulder butts in and her being infatuated by him spews allover her. I have never been one to give up on anything, but I'm starting to think this is a lost cause. The only time I had opened myself, and trusted someone. The code was right, use but don't let yourself be used. And it seems she did just that. Lesson learned. I'll have to find a way to detach myself and use her just as all the others.. a mean to an end, and to be thrown away when done with.

La blue witch, aka Kella is really a blast to tamper with. I dunno why i get so much pleasure to press her buttons, but she tries so hard to pass off as the big mean witch elf, yet she can't stand the heat, funnily that's her favorite thing to threaten me with.

I'm still honing my skills at poison making and as a rogue. I've hit a plateau though for poison making. I know where to get them; but I just can't get them, not without Lily anyways, and well I think it's best I don't keep my hopes high about anything regarding that. So I'll have to find an other way to get to those. Maybe I can coax the guild to get more for me.

Still no contracts from the master, wondering if I fell in some forgotten realm here. But I'll be ready for it when he requires my services. That's why I'm training so hard anyhow.

Well off to more adventure and killings.


It was a sweet dream while it lasted, but a dream only.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2020, 12:22:13 am by Hellblazer »
 

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2020, 04:24:29 am »
How to make yourself look like a fool

Assume without verifying.....

I've done it, and yes I've made a fool of myself.

How am I unable to read her correctly I don't know.. am I losing my edge?

Met an other Tiefling, at least his mask is better than that fool Cailomel. We had a good discussion and he mentioned something that really peaked my interest, the dead blades. It is really close to what I was trained for, and might be a good experience and also lucrative while I still wait on orders from my master. He said he would be willing to talk to me about more and might also have a few things he would be able to teach me. I will take him up on his offer. Might bring me closer to my goal and what I am looking to become, show me what I'm lacking yet to be that one who can go where others can't. I know as I write this, that I don't have the emotional and moral dilemma to do what needs to be done to accomplish the goal that is desired, but there's always new things to learn that can help get there and hopefully he will be able to bring me closer to that state.

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2021, 10:26:01 pm »
*Nates sits alone at a table in the bull's eyes inn, uncharacteristically drinking ale in public. Two ladies of comfort keeps bugging him as he just sips on his drinks and looks at his journal that is still closed*

Look, I already told you no.. so take your tiny bit rump and move out of my bubble..

*he throws them a few coins so they can finally leave him alone, which just a few months before would have been an entire different story. He then opens his journal and starts writing into it*

Seems I'm still lacking in skills. Even though I feel that I've been able to keep my mind  a bit more when I see them cast on me and I know that it would affect my mind in some way, a lot of the time now it seems that I just shrug it off.. barely, it's as if my mind was about to fail but then a rush clears it free. Not sure really how to describe that, but it's a good thing I'm sure. But still, lately I've fell more than I would care to admit and it's bugging me. Sure I travel a lot with Mangus; Lily, Jeb, Xiao in places that well let's admit, it, are way out of my leagues, but I would have thought that my hard training would pay off more than it has.  I do know it's a lot easier now to flank them and hit them a lot harder where it hurts them most. But I don't know.. maybe I just expected more.

*he takes an other deep swig at the ale*

Expecting more seems to be a recurring theme of mine lately, and even with the talk we had things doesn't seem to have changed. So I guess I just have to accept it is what it is and not assume anything, again. Still, it changed me in a way. Usually I wouldn't have minded the nightly company of those two, they were always a good time, not anymore though. Attachment is a dangerous game, but it's not like I can really just turn it off either. I guess you never really choose who you'll be attracted too. Still I have to just chill and keep it to myself. If those who sought to gain an advantage over me knew what I feel for her, it could be more dangerous for her than for me. Man get a grip! That's not how I was trained! I have to show the same coldness than she does toward me. Although sometimes she throws me off; like today after I had to be risen a second time on our quest, she came to me and whispered that she was so sorry, showing that she cared, which she doesn't usually do. I was so miffed that the guard in Miritrix got the head of the troll straight in his face as I threw it with force. I don't care that it's not his fault. I still went there because of him, so he deserves everything that came with that head; the blood, the broken nose or what ever. And the payout wasn't even worth it. I lost twice the amount of money than that bloke handed me. Maybe I'll go pay him a visit later on, and get what I feel I'm due, I'm sure he'll protests, but I know he will give in when his family are about to bite it because of him.

Still haven't been able to get a talk with Steel about the dread blades. Eager to see what more he has to say about them.

Ah well, time to find an other mark to bleed.

*Takes the last bit of ale in the mug and closes his journal, slipping it a secret place in his bag, and then leaves the inn*

// music that fits his mood at the moment :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjPIOuFtWAI
« Last Edit: January 07, 2021, 07:33:52 am by Hellblazer »
 

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2021, 11:52:40 pm »
*Nate's sits by the fire in the Leringuard's arms inn library, contemplating the Axiom that was handed to him by Steel, reading each elements over and over and pondering over them*

"Code of the Dread Blade.
A Guide for those who would claim to be mercenaries.

1 - Your livelihood rests on two things; knowledge and reputation. (You need both to be successful.)
2 - Know your enemies. (This requires constant awareness and choice. Sometimes the one that hires you is your enemy. Choose carefully.)
3 - No one is innocent. (Not children, not flowers, not anything.)
4 - Everything dies. (Even rocks)
5 - Do not kill unless you are facing your enemies.
6 - Protect those who are not your enemies. (You won't have work if you don't.)
7 - A child is never your enemy. (children are to be taught, not killed.)
8 - Retreat in the face of defeat is wise, if not noble. (You're in the business to kill, not be killed.)
9 - No job is too small. (Your reputation is on the line.)
10 - Pay comes in many forms, some of which are better than gold. (Learn to offer many types of payment arrangements.)
11 - Mercenaries are killers. (Don't deceive yourself. Your place is among the thieves and murderers. Ultimately you're a life-taker, not a  life-giver.)

Signed,
Cole Norseman."

I've finally been able to meet with Steel again, and we had a good discussion at his Inn. The Dread Blades seems to be what I thought they were, and indeed something that I could see myself working within. We've talked a lot about appearances, reputation and how to promote it and to protect it. About the nature of contracts and that there's no too little or too big contracts. While we've also touch lightly about controlling ones emotions while achieving the end goal of a contract, something he said we would get back to. He did leave me with this question.

Knowledge, why is it paired with reputation?

I have to say that I have some ideas about it, the main one is that knowing the repercussion of what the end result of a contract will bring could affect the way you do the contract so that it doesn't tarnish your  reputation. As an example, if your contract was to assassinate the king of a kingdom, knowing that it could destabilize the entire region, even more so if you actually reside in that region, could jeopardize your standing in such a place. There for making sure that you remain completely incognito in this endeavor would allow you to retain your reputation. But at the same time, having the reputation of having been able to topple a king could potentially bring you more lucrative contracts in the future, so your persona as an assassin must be able to be known. But your persona and your day to day avatar must be kept separate least those that you know could be brought to suffer or even worst turn on you and turn you to those seeking revenge.

I have to think more about this. I'm sure there is more to this than this obvious fact.

What could he mean.. with his question...
« Last Edit: January 19, 2021, 03:57:55 pm by Hellblazer »
 

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2021, 05:47:41 am »
*Sitting by the fire in Center, Nate's writes in his journal*

I met up with Steel again, and while we completed many merchants job "edict 9, no jobs is too small" it brought us to Vanavar where we spend many hours talking about the axiom and it's meaning. Although it really seemed a lot shorter than hours. It is only after we had parted ways that I noticed how much time had passed.

One thing that I came to understand is that, the choice to accept a contract, of who I choose are my enemies are always mine, and even within a contract the ability to discern and decide on how to accomplish the end goal might not always be what I've been hired for. I still have the choice for the better of for worst, of how I will accomplish things. That notion of choice in accomplishing an assignment is very different than what I was raised and trained to do. We were trained to do exactly what we were told to do, the how to achieve the end goal was ours, but the end goal had to remain the same. While with the Dread Blades I might have the luxury to choose, I don't think I would be able to do so if the Master beckoned, and refusing to accomplish the assignment is basically signing my own death.

For now though, I will keep pondering on that end to see how I could get out of that bind, or maybe I'll just do as always and push through. But first things first, Steel did mention that he would train me in the use of magic, even if it's not about becoming a mage, the ability to use it would still prove useful.

Hellblazer

Re: Nate's Journal
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2021, 01:07:36 am »
*applies some salve on his left over bruise from training, and when done opens his journal to write*

Wow.. that was a major beat down. Not only From Steel, but from Jeb.. and from Belgar?????? Are you kidding me? They were all immune to my attempts to knock down, and Jeb had some awesome gear that even my fine blades, that are made to cut through most everything, would not even scratch his armor. I'm stump. I guess all I can is just train more and more. Which is what I went to do after waking up in Dalanthar from an expedition with Lily, glitch and others to save Johnny and Sehky.  Can't believe she shooed me away, when I told her not to raise me a second time as I did not have a stone, even though Glitch was the one that had raised me the first time. I know she said not to assume anything, but that is very telling. Very telling indeed. 
« Last Edit: January 24, 2021, 08:55:50 am by Hellblazer »
 

 

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