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Nate's Journal

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Well, I have arrived to this little place called Center. People here seems content to be where they are, no real aspiration to move forward and do better for themselves, such a waste of the elements, they shouldn't deserve to live. I've been propose to do a few jobs here and there, I need the true and especially new gears as my limited exploration has showed me that compared to the inner cities, the wild is a lot more dangerous. That's fine, I'll adapt. I'll survive, that's why I was trained for.  Might have to pull the friendship chords a little bit, get closer to some so that I can have a better chance out there, it would be to my advantage to do so and to keep what I do secret, at least for now. Don't want to be targeted as soon as I arrived to the neighborhood. Although if a mark does present itself, I won't hesitate.

For the moment the plan is to do the jobs I can while waiting for my master's words.

Been traveling a lot lately, partnered up with a monk name Xiao, two dwarves name Van and one I call Beefy flavored Gumbo, an older man named Jeb and a .. well don't even know what to call him beside his name, Martlet, he's smaller than a halfling but not one..

Anyhow things are exhausting, everything out here is soo much advanced compared to the training I had received.. the master would be ashamed of me.

Then there's this Xiao, he makes me laugh at times. Today he was trying to give me the speech of strength in unity using some twigs.. He looked at me blankly and threw the twigs away when I busted his soon approaching parable. He's trying very much to make me see that they are trustworthy and goodie two shoes good doer.. for now though I will keep playing the lost pup, the hurt child left to endure the worst hardship.. only things were not so, I was trained to render those hardships on others. But best they do not know this, keep it under lid and work where I need to work, unknown and unseen. Maybe if I play my cards right, their guild thing, helping the needy and the helpless could present to be the perfect cover. How would people suspect someone of good stature, that is seen with a group helping the masses be a dark agent, one that works in the shadows for his benefits and the benefit of his master?

It's certainly an angle that merits reflection.

//Thanks Xiao, loved the RP!

So it is that as I keep training and furthering my skill past what I thought was even possible by looking at those who trained me before sending me to Center, it dawns on me that I have barely scratched the surface.  I know there's much more I can learn and perfect. With that I have taken to push my studies in poison making. As of yet I can only make some of the lesser ones, the sames we were trained on back with the master. I know what these do, but I wish to see what the others does to. I will have to find sometime to test them out somehow. Best it not be on those I travel with as of yet they still serve a purpose.

No word from the Master yet either. So I continue to take the contracts I find. It's astonishing to see how inherently evil this world is. It would seem that for the most part, every contracts I have had, except for maybe 5, have been to kill this, kill that and bring their heads as proof, or something a like.  Yet, when you see all those doo-gooders they will act on these contracts without even thinking about it, and yet they are supposed to be the best of the world, the shining beacons of hope and good. But yet, day in and day out they go out of their way to do what they would call evil in others. It is pure hypocrisy. Because they put it behind a cloak of good intentions to rid the world of evil, to protect those that can't protect themselves, they fool themselves into believing that what they are doing is justified. The end justifies the means. But yet, at the purest view of things, they still do so for prestige, for money, for the next piece of gear that will be better than the one they have. They simply don't want to admit it. Makes it amusing to look at them go, the mighty heroes, the goodness for all, yet they do what I do and if I was caught, I would be branded evil. As it stands maybe I could use that to my advantage later on. How could they judge me and brand me what they are truly themselves too? Oh sure they might not kill the peasant in his field, but yet, they kill the Giant in his home. Who is to say that that Giant was not simply tending to the needs of his family too? Or simply defending the territory of his clan?

No the more I see these things, the more I know that when the times comes, if the time comes, they will simply be peons to be used.

Well maybe with one exception, she did prove to be very .. satisfying. Yet even then, those are fleeting sentiments, and she kinda has the same kind of views I have, although I don't think she realizes it. So no, in the end, even her would be a simple tool to be used. She is cunning though, something to be careful with.

As for the foreseeable future. I have to further my skills, past the point where most of those would go. I am not simply someone who is willing to steal and open doors others can't open. I know I can go much further than others would not dare to go. I have to be able to work in the shadows of things, incognito, be able to infiltrate the enemy. Be able to either gain their trust, or simply move in ways they cannot see. To be what I desire to become, one must be able to move through a crowed of rabid dogs and still reach the target and put an end to him and yet escape without no one knowing I was there. That's what I have to focus on in my trainings. Everything else is just tool to use once I am at that point. It serve very little good to know how to use a poison, if I am not able to administer it without no one else knowing. And to even escape detection, maybe I need to be able to make a compound that while on it's own would not kill tasters, but once combined through the meal and after some time, enough time for me to be gone, then it would activate and end the target.

I wonder if I could find some information on such multi stage poisons.

Well, that didn't take long.

I have met the famous Johnny that she talked about that night at the tavern, before we retired for some other kind of adventure. And after the first time I see her since then, it was both of them jumping in their arms of sort and the professing of the missed ya and all. I couldn't hold the snicker when she responded to his embrace. Just didn't expect the cold shoulder that came with it, but such is life, it's either we get betrayed or we betray, and after all I didn't really expect anything of that one night but maybe without realizing it, I did expect a little bit more than I was willing to admit, too late now. But now I know a little something about him and I know of a little something about her.. yes I do, and someday it might come up handy too... You never know.

Also met an other redhead today, Ashelyn Vale. Johnny was showing her the ropes but as soon as Redhead came in the picture, he was all over her and completely forgot that he was helping the new adventurer. Didn't have anything else pressing to do so I showed her Stuckup Town Llast and those that usually needs help, and Hlint. I did tell her that I was not naturally inclined into being a tour guide and that she would have to answer the call one day. She did accept that eagerly. An other thing to use in the future when the need arises. Sometimes people are really to eager to help, even if they actually don't know what they might be called upon to do. But eh, not my problem. Actually, might be the perfect person to subtlety try the multi-stage poison on.  Well see.

Oh my, almost forgot. La blue witch... I didn't know if Elves had those time of the months too, but Vol made me laugh when he said for them it was every day. Getting her name was not that hard, not like pulling a tooth to get some info, but she was reluctant at first. Finally she did give it to me, Kella. We headed to the fog and that's when we met Vol. Vol wanted to know a little bit about what he could provide with wards and because of that the little witch took it as she was not needed and stormed off into the cave without waiting for us. I half expected to find her dead, which I would have kinda grinned about, but instead for some reason I was the one who ended up being unable to use my potions at one time and my body refused my brain order while fighting. That was a little unnerving. Ended up killing me too. Sneaked back in the cave but both Vol and the witch had gone. Nothing really more to expect there.

//Thanks Ashlyn, Johnny, Kella/Lilah and Vol for the rp today, was great!

Well it has been some time since I dusted off this journal.

Many things have happened, many things have stayed the same. I'm still unsure of what's happening with Liliah, while she did say she wanted to settle things down and then we could continue our path together, she's been acting like that discussion has never happened. And each time he's there it's the cold shoulder butts in and her being infatuated by him spews allover her. I have never been one to give up on anything, but I'm starting to think this is a lost cause. The only time I had opened myself, and trusted someone. The code was right, use but don't let yourself be used. And it seems she did just that. Lesson learned. I'll have to find a way to detach myself and use her just as all the others.. a mean to an end, and to be thrown away when done with.

La blue witch, aka Kella is really a blast to tamper with. I dunno why i get so much pleasure to press her buttons, but she tries so hard to pass off as the big mean witch elf, yet she can't stand the heat, funnily that's her favorite thing to threaten me with.

I'm still honing my skills at poison making and as a rogue. I've hit a plateau though for poison making. I know where to get them; but I just can't get them, not without Lily anyways, and well I think it's best I don't keep my hopes high about anything regarding that. So I'll have to find an other way to get to those. Maybe I can coax the guild to get more for me.

Still no contracts from the master, wondering if I fell in some forgotten realm here. But I'll be ready for it when he requires my services. That's why I'm training so hard anyhow.

Well off to more adventure and killings.

It was a sweet dream while it lasted, but a dream only.


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