Riley's Journal

[Yar Ydnar]

Riley's Resurrection

     Riley Alexander awoke, his head pounding, his ribs on fire.  Behind him a familiar voice gleefully exclaimed, "See mam's, told ye ee was gonna make it.  
Ee's head is too hard."  Another voice. This one female.  "Praise be the gods then.  Nothin to do with ee's  head.  Ee's watched oer.  Like no other I seen.
Fetch papa."  Scurrying feet followed by a slamming door and a child yelling for his father fades.  Riley feels no danger, no immediacy in his situation,
he feels ...... safe.   Steps came closer and the female says.  "Alright there Ben, hold still whilst I remove this bandage.  Hmmm.   Let me ave yer hand.  Hold some light pressure there.  I need to get some water.  Ye are still bleeding.  Not much.  But enough to stick to the bandage."  Soft footsteps away and sound of water being dipped.  Soft footsteps back.  "Ere let me ave at it.  There tis.  Close yer eyes whilst I unwrap ye."  He could feel the wraps as they came off.  With each one the light became brighter and brighter.  Even with his eyes tightly shut.  Once she finished she could see the wince in his face so she drew the door curtains closed.  He felt her hands softly run over his head as if searching for ..... what he didn't know.  "Yes..yes.  Ye surely ave the gods oer ye.  No worse for wear it seems.  By all rights ye should be dead.  But then ye should ave been dead when that devil horse drug ye in ere.  Hold there til papa comes.  Ee'll wanna take ee's own look.  Keep yer eyes shut.  Be dark soon enough.  Won't hurt as much when ye open em."

     Not long until he heard the child yelling for papa to hurry.  That Ben was awake.  She called him Ben too.  Why?  A door opening.  Heavier footsteps
coming.  "Well there.  Ye finally came round.  Mam's an me had our doubts."  The child inserted "Not me.  No.. no.. Not me.  I knew ye be round.  Didn't
I papa?"  "Yes Zachary.  Ye naer had doubts.  Well Ben.  Can ye open them eyes?  Slowly now.  Test em first."  Riley slowly opened one eye. Then the other.  It was dark outside.  The only light was that of a candle and the soft glow of fireplace embers.  He was in a small abode with thatched walls and roof with an earthen floor.  Directly across from him was the only door.  To his right was a vaguely familiar large stone structure which housed a large fireplace with what seemed to an equally large cooking pot.  And what was in the pot was calling to him.  Papa saw the look in the eyes and said, "Mams, Ben's back fer sure.  An I think ee's ready to sup."  Mams returns the remark with a smile that shows relief, "When was ee naer ready to sup.  Ee eats all durin the wakin hours.  Just appens I got plenty.  Just keep em sittin.  Ee looks unsteady still."  Riley had no idea what came from the pot.  He didn't care. He ate and drank his fill. Then a wave of exhaustion fell upon him.  He fell asleep in the chair.
 
     Upon awaking the next morning he felt refreshed.  Rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up in the cot.  Whoa.  Not so fast. Still not all there. Take it slow.
"Mams.  Ee's awake." Zachary called out.  Seems as if the child was his appointed herald.  "I can see son.  Go feed the chickens so they'll lay. Ben will be fine without ye."  "Ahhh mams."  "Don't dally boy.  Get."  A smile came to Riley's face as he watched the young lad hang his head and stomp out the door. He looked across at the fireplace and for the first time started to take in his surroundings.  The night's sleep didn't change the abode.  Still thatch construction with a large stone fireplace that made up one complete wall.  Mams is a short woman.  Not thin, but not large.  He could see that she was a life hardened no nonsense woman.  Kind.  But firm.  Zachary was a gangly youth, figured 12 or 13, with a smile that showed he was carefree.  Doesn't recall much about papa.  Oh well.  Later. Mams said "Ben, papa found the crutch ye used afore.  Said ye might want it.  There. -points-  The other side of yer cot.  But afore ye try it ave some birch tea to clear yer head."  Again she called him Ben.  This time it wouldn't go unchallenged.  After asking why she called him so mams silently gasped and carefully put the tea in Riley's hand and quickly walked out the door.

     She was right.  The strong tea worked wonders.  With every sip the cobwebs cleared from his mind.  Soon he hears urgent conversation outside.  

     Papa, "I told ye that ee might come full round Sara.  That day may be nigh."  So her name is Sara.  Or do I call her mams?  

     Sara, "It worries me Caleb.  Remember when ee was drug in ere.  All dressed in armor.  It worries me cause I do not know of what ee's truly capable.  I do know ee's as strong as our oxen and as elusive as the
wind.  It just scares me as to the true nature of em."  

     Papa, "Sara, it's been three years or more since he came to us and in all that time ee's naer showed any sign different than being who we came to call family.  I'll think no different of em n...."  

Caleb stopped as he saw Riley stoop to hobble through the door.  Caleb.
A round man of average height.   His hands calloused from work.  A crooked grin.  Confident in his opinion and sure in his work.  Not human.  Half elf was his guess.  Yes.  Definitely half elf.  

     Papa, "Well there.  Seems that we can't call ye Ben anymore.  Not proper now that ye ave come round.  So then.  What do we call ye."

     Riley, "Riley.....Riley Alexander.... But by the sound of the conversation it would seem that I am more in your debt than I could ever repay....And then some.  You can still call me Ben.  I'll answer.  No need to confuse the lad."
 
     It was weeks before Riley regained his strength and coordination.  In that time Caleb and Sara told him of the day he arrived. How he was caught in the stirrup of his saddle being dragged about lifeless.  His head packed with mud and grass.  A fortunate thing as it stopped the bleeding.  At first they thought he was dead.  And if it weren't for his horse, Pearl, trotting into the oxen corral he might very well be.  Caleb and Sara tried for a full day to get him untangled but Pearl would have nothing of it. Finally Sara came up with the idea of feeding Pearl a mild drug she remembered her father using to subdue problem horses while he worked as a smithy.  It worked and they pulled Riley from the pen.  Armor and all.  They took his armor, weapons, and all other possessions and hid them away.  Now returned.  After many weeks of care by Sara Riley eventually, seemingly, came to his senses but was devoid of all memories.  No knowledge of his past or name.  As such he became Ben because Zachary said the newcomer, "Been sleepin.", "Been ere forever.", or "Just been in the way."  So Ben it became.  Caleb and Sara figured one name was as good as the other.  Riley knew no different so Ben it stayed.  He remained with the family and helped with the farming. Caleb used to get a belly laugh at first because it was plain to see that Ben knew little, if anything, about farming.  But Ben was exceptionally smart and good with his hands.  The first year he learned.  The second year he hauled stones for weeks.  Caleb asked what was afoot but Ben kept to himself.  Ben knew that the family had to travel to pay respects to a passing family member and would be gone for a few weeks.  Ben stayed and kept up the farm.  Tore down a thatch wall.  Mixed up motor and reconstructed the wall using those many stones.  The family returned to a large fireplace rather than a small fire pit in the center of the home.  A welcome addition to be sure. Sara was positively giddy.
 
     Caleb always said that Ben "Might come round". They didn't know when, or if, that day would ever happen.  Seemed for the longest that it never would.  Then near tragedy when Ben fell through the barn roof.  Caleb told him he was too heavy. Told him many times. But Ben had been up there often repairing the thatch.  He thought this time would be no different.  Almost at the top of the pitch the roof completely gave way.  Ben plummeted to the floor below striking his head on a fence railing and landing length wise across the anvil.  Explains the smarting ribs.  He was unconscious for three days.  And woke up to a new reality.  

                                                      Resurrection.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

     Been traveling days since I left the farm.  The countryside,  I guess is familiar.  But then much of it here looks the same as somewhere else.  Still I must be on the right path.  People seem to know my name.  Saw someone named Ketlebjorn Svaldi,  A powerful dwarf who nearly talked my ear off about people I know I should know.  All I could really do was smile and agree.... A lot.  Quite a few  "I don't know's and I can't remembers" came from me as well.  But with all the recognition from the locals I feel  I'm on the right path.  Aren't I?

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

    After four days of travel it feels as if I have returned home.  Or....At least I think so.  Seems  I remember this place called Hlint being more of a bustling place.  Full of people, shops, and a crafting hall.  Hmm.  Guess I could be in error.  After all it's all a bit sketchy in my mind.  Maybe it was somewhere else.

   The temple in Fort Llast I remember well.   Everything is just as it should be there.  Just as I recall.  Makes me even more unsure about Hlint.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal Of Riley Alexander.

I have been able to recall certain people and places with the help of Keela and Sehky.  Ilsarians.  I know it's a taboo area in my training but something tells me in my heart that these two are good for me.  They are a little to ... let's say ..  cozy in public for my liking but still there is something about them I do like.  Can't figure it out... yet.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

I met a vision today.  Her name is Jillian Stuart.  I had known her for all of five seconds and I knew I wanted to spend all of my days with her.  No.  That's selfish.  I wish for her to be happy in all aspects of her life with or, Toran please do not let it be so, without me.  She's also a follower of Toran and member of The Shining Hand.  A Beacon, I believe, is her stature in the order.  I want to spend more time with her...without her sensing that my goal is to spirit her heart away.  That will be difficult as she's a well trained paladin as well as undead hunter.  Her senses are sharp and I must confess when I'm with her, unless it's girding for battle, my senses are muted.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

During my excursions in the Silkwood Caverns, where I have been keeping the spider population down, I encountered a Dark Elven Archer.  Most strange.  I didn't proceed further into the cavern.  Thought it best to make a report to the authorities.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

I discovered why I like Keela and Sehky so much.  I was gathering some things I'd left and by chance I came across a diary penned by Silool Baerath.  It was diary about me.   About the trials in my life that have led to who I am today.

As it is written I was discovered by a group of adventurers who happened across a band of maurading Ogres which had just attacked our house.  Made me an orphan and left me for dead in the rubble they were setting ablaze.  This was an extensive group of seven individuals working as one.  They were Rodlin Serim, Emerald Skye, Esimon Clearpeak, Kavil Yodin, Dorax Windsmith, Rawkwin Valerius, and Yar Ydnar.  

All of these people had a profound effect upon my life.  Emerald, Yar, and Dorax taught me the art of the blade along with their own take on life.  Emerald taught me humility, Dorax strength, and Yar honor.  Rodlin insisted that I respect the tenents of nature. He also had a large bear I rode when he wasn't looking.  Esimon, Kavil, and Rawkwin tried to teach me the ways of the weave.  But I was not gifted in that way so they settled for me to understand the arts rather than practice them.

But these seven were, after all, adventurers and there were long periods of time when they were not to be found.  So the temple priests hired someone who would be about to see to my needs and education in matters not related to the temple.  They contracted with Silool Baerath to be my surrogate mother.  And she kept this...this wonderful diary.  

As I kept reading I came across a passage detailing when the group came back... minus one.  Yar had given his last covering the retreat of the others from an onslaught from a large hoard of Bugbears.  He rests with the mistress of souls never to return.  Silool was worried at how I would take the news.  She was prepared to comfort me.  To be there for me.  But I told not to feel remorse for Yar.  He died the nobelests of deaths.  His death allowed his friends to live.  No.  I shed no tears for Yar.

I also came upon a short verse outlining that this work of words was to be mine one day.  So that I could keep the memories fresh.  Keep them ever living.

Then the diary ended.  No indication that it was to do so.  It just ended.

Being curious I asked the temple librarian if he knew where I might find Silool.  I had many questions to ask. Maybe she could help fill in the gaps in my memory.  Yes.  She was the perfect choice.  Regretably he informed me that she died during the blood wars.  I was away.  Youthfull exhuberence.  A new paladin in training when a Blood raiding party fell upon the fort.  She died trying to protect a young child.  Had I been there it might have been different.  Possibly?

So Silool never got to hear about Kavil's heroic feats that were so pivotal to the outcome of the final battle against Blood and his forces.  She never heard about the others and how they heroically moved to another existence or simply retired.

I thanked the librarian and set out to find someplace of beauty to reread the diary and as I did I found I remembered more and more.  I remember her lessons of life.  I remember her patience and persistance to instill into me the very best qualities of those seven.  I remember her quietly telling me that one day love would find me.  Not me finding love.  That feelings were not to be hidden but explored. Yes.  I remember all those things and more.   All because of Silool. Silool the Ilsarian.  That is why I have a place in my heart for Keela and Sehky.  

I held the diary to my breast for a long time. To think she could love me that much to put it all down. For me she did this.  Yes.  I held the diary to my breast for a long time.  For almost as long as I wept.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Came upon a young bard today named Melodious Widgeweaver who was being attacked by bone bats near the campfire in the Glade.  She was handling heself quite well but it soon became apparent that these bats were not going to stop coming so I helped her.  Those dastardly things came in three more waves after that.  I've heard rumors of the increased instances of the undead throughout the land but this is the first I've encountered them away from any crypt.   Very curious indeed.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

I was with Jillian again today.  There were others in our party but my focus is with her.  I think she's taken a liking to me.  She whispers to me.  Actually whispers words that are meant only for my ears.  The words are not...romantic in nature .... but they are personal.  And they are for me.  I have to wonder why she has had such trouble with men. Or at least she claims to have rotten luck with them.  Case in point she whispered to me that a member of our party, Daniel, out right told her that she was the second best female he's ever seen.  What a dolt I thought and I must have said it under my breath because she chuckled at the remark.  I figured the dice had been rolled so I whispered back his loss is my gain.  I thought I saw a faint smile at that.  Or was I imagining things?  The rest of the trip was uneventful except for when I tripped and fell into her after we exited the caves and knocked her down.  By Toran it was an accident.  I would never be so blatant to try such a school boy prank.  But I'm sure everyone in attendance thought it was just that.  A boyish prank.  I could not say I was sorry enough times.  I must have turned a dozen shades of red.  I fell I was positively glowing with embarassment.  As I helped her up I saw in her eyes that she was .... flattered I guess is the word.... that someone would go to such lengths to make an impression on her.  Is that good?  I don't know but I must be carefull never to do it again.  She is worthy of so much more than a boyish prank.  Even if it was an honest to goodness accident.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Again the Dark Elves in the Silkwood caverns!  I had just made it to the final set of chambers and had just set myself to pray and heal ere continuing when a Dark Warrior emerged from the small passage between the levels.  He past me by and stopped in his tracks.  No attempt at violence he just stood there.  I hailed him twice with out reply.  And when he left he calmly walked away.  Almost as if inviting me to join him.  It was an invitation I declined and hastened to return to the surface.  I surmize that my leaving was objected to because I was beset upon by three warriors and a pet hunter spider on the way out.  Luckily I was fully prepared with prayer and dispatched them all.  But I cannot help but wonder if it was, or is, a trap they have prepared in the lower caverns.  I must make a report so everyone knows.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

I asked Jillian today if it was okay that we got to know each other ... socially..  I mean I wanted to get to know her better... socially.  Properly.  

I don't know what I'm saying.  I'm not sure she knows what I'm saying either.  She didn't look put off.  Maybe a bit confused by the words I used.  But in the end we both agreed to see each other.  But would have to wait until after her Shinning Hand mission.  I don't want her distracted.  So we will wait until that is over.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Accompanied Jillian on her Shining Hand mission.  Quite interesting.  She is very good at what she does.  No  scratch that.  She's superb at what she does.  Not sure if I could do it.   And I'm having doubts about if I should go on future missions with her.  I finished this one because I promised her I would be there.  But even though I do not believe in my heart that my presence would prevent her from making good decisions.  Seeing her in such danger and loving it makes me think I couldn't make good decisions.  And I'm fearfull that my bad action, or inaction, could lead to her undoing.  For still my senses seem muted while in her presence.  

This was brought to the my attention while I was guarding an Acolyte that practiced the arts of necromancy and ... Blood Magic...  The idea that some fool could still be dabbling in blood magic makes my blood boil.  But in such a case I would do the proper thing.   Which would be keeping calm foremost and not engaging the prisoner in verbal sparing.  There are others far more suited than I for such matters.  But I failed in that regard. I failed in front of her.  When that.. creature, even now it makes me frantic, threatened to use Jillian as a lustful toy and force me to watch... even now.. I lost my temper and threatened to part his head from the rest of his body.  I don't do such things,  Especially when those who are making such statements are securely bound and lying at my feet.  But in this case I would have willingly done just that.   But I did not and Beacon Jared took the Acolyte of to face truth.  He was to return but did not so we, Jillian, Richard Watchman , and myself set out to find them along the trail.  While doing so we were beset upon by numerous waves of undead.  Easy enough to dispatch but in following from where they came we found scenes of a recent battle.  Swords strewn about, and blood.  Lot's of blood and a blood trail.  These undead do not cover thier tracks well at all.

     The blood trail led to a large rock covering an opening in the hill side.  Jillian and I together could barely budge it but Richard saved the day with a spell that forced to rock to one side just enough for us to squeeze through.  I counseled for rest but Jillian wanted to press on.  So we did.  We came upon a large unoccupied chamber that had one hallway leading away.  In that hallway were monk like desciples of the blood order in residence.   Again they were easy enough to dispatch  but after that I felt drained and required rest.  Jillian seemed unaffected.  Her spirit thrives on the demise of the undead and because of the previous battles she was still ready to proceed.  But she saw that I was in need so she relented and we retreated to the outside and there I rested.  Not sure if Jillain and Richard did.  Upon reentry to the chamber we again found the hallway guarded and once again we dispatched the guards without problem.  From room to room we searched and we found that same Acolyte prancing about in a room accompanied by four desciples.  The center of the room had a portal.  To where we do not know.  Short, pointless, conversation ensued and Jillian sprang to the attack after the beast ordered his desciples to kill us.  She was out for him while Richard and I were to handle the others.  Not enirely successful.  Richard ran for his life and kept one of them occupied in the chase and three came to my blade.  Jillian thought I was in danger so she broke off the attack ane came to assist  me.  In doing so it gave the beast the opportunity to rush to the portal and disappear.  Was that a judgement made by her because of her feelings toward me?  I'll never know because I'll never ask.  I do not ever want her to second guess her judgement in such matters and such a question, MAY, may mind you, cause such a thing to happen.  

We inspected the rest of the chambers and found Captain Richards, Beacon Jared and four other Shinning Hand members.  The Captain was displayed upon a cross, obviously tortured and long dead.  Jared was at deaths door as he lie on the floor and the others were being held in cages.  While Jillian and I attended to Jared Richard managed to unlock the cages to free the others.  I gave each a ration of food and water.  Jillian reached into her pack and started to pass out longswords.  I hadn't noticed that she had collected them at the battle scene.  Thankfully they were not required as the trip out of the chambers and back to Mariners Hold was uneventful.  I've heard rumors that Jillian may be promoted to fill the vacant Captains position.  I can't help but wonder if my insistence on resting was the time required to do the job on the Captain.  I'll never know.  My examination of his wounds revealed they were old, not fresh. But I shall never know.


Yes.  I need to think very hard before accompanying her on future missions.  Loath as I am to make such a statement I feel it may be the best course of action for her.   I don't know.  Toran help me.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Sehky gave me an ornate ring to give to Jillian.  It was one she had purchased through the guild and since I would probably see her first I could pass it on.  So I placed it into the bank for safe keeping and I did see her a short time later.    I asked her to join me in the bank and, just perhaps, I made too much of a fuss during the presentation of the ring.  My intent was to just give her the ring.  That was all.  She knew that, at least I thought she did, it was the ring she purchased.  But when I gave it to her she asked me,  ohh something about what it symbolized to me and to us.  Rather than answer in a completely sane way.  I had to intimate that if I had my way it would be a ring securing our lives together.  That I would intend it to be an engagement ring.  RIGHT THERE IN THE BANK!! I did this.  Then I compounded the issue by asking her to marry me.  RIGHT THERE IN THE BANK!  What the blazes am I doing?  It would seem that at every turn I'm clumsily driving her away when I should be patiently stealing her heart.  Fortuneately one much wiser that I came to my aide.  And that one much wiser is Jillian.  She saved me inspite of myself.  So rather than a massive disaster, it turned out to be a minor bump in the road.  All thanks to Jillian.  I have said that my senses are muted while in her presence but in this case they had left me completely.  Thank you M'lady for saving me from myself.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Things have been going well with Jillian.  At least I have not approached the shear stupidity I had in the bank.  We occasionally hold hands.  She's kissed me on the cheek. Once now.  Maybe twice.  My approach toward her in the presence of company has always been proper in all respects.  Well not really.  There are times that I have had , purposefull, body contact as I pass by. Contact such as, softly brushing against her forearm and such.  Once I went so far as to kiss her hand in public.  Truth be told in private it's not much different.  After all we are just starting.  But something is missing,  I know not what it might be.  Yes.  Something is definitely missing.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

She.   She said yes.  I can hardley believe it.  Maybe it was the circumstance of us having a bad experience together that resulted in a trip to the bindstone.  Maybe it was just the setting.  I can say it WASN'T THE BANK.   It was on a small hill just outside Center.  Very peaceful.  We were just talking and somehow the conversation came full circle to how it WASN'T THE BANK.  There was a slight pause and I just asked her.  I can't remember the words.  They just came out.  At first I thought I had done it again and hoped that Jillian's good sense would save me again.  But... She smiled , confidently, and said yes.

 You could have knocked me over with a feather. Honestly I do believe you still can.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

Jillian asked me if it were fine with me that, after we are married, we could live in the house she lives in now.  I told her yes.  And she was so happy.  She has many ties to that place.  The Commander, the students, and I'm sure there are other attachments.  She took me there after a training session with two of her wards.  She is obviously proud of what that house has become.  And I do believe prouder yet of what it represents.  But as she was showing me around her private quarters I became uncomfortable.  No idea why.  All she had showed me was the pantry, the storage area and the common room.  I asked her, no... I told her that I needed to leave.  That it wasn't proper for me to be there.  She reluctantly stopped her tour and asked me two simple, yet telling questions.  Why is it that we can sleep side by side in the field and I feel no breach of decorum?  But when she shows her private quarters, which hadn't included the sleeping quarters, I feel compelled to leave because of that same decorum?  I ... I had, and have, no answer.  She deserves an answer.  Yet I have none.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

The events from earlier in the day weigh heavily upon me.  It's obvious she was, and is still, upset about my actions in her house. And I can't blame her.  After reflection I have come to the inescapable conclusion that I am a fool.  Only this time I will have to be my own savior.  Jillian can't do it.  She's probably tired of doing it.  It falls upon me alone to set this right.

We were both in Center at the Craft Hall.  I was turing iron into spikes and she was in the back doing... Who knows what?  Any way I had fininshed the iron and remembered that she also had some in her pack so I went to retrieve it.  And I found them.  Jillian and Keela.  Jillian was modeling a dress while Keela worked on the fit.  It was... well I don't know.  To see her adorned as such, not in armor or in her armor padding.  I've seen her in a very nice dress before.  But this was ... alluring?  I don't know.  All I know is that I still have to force my eyes together to close them because they were opened so wide when I saw her.

[Yar Ydnar]

From the Journal of Riley Alexander.

I did it.  I finally...and with passion, kissed the woman I love.  Ohh.  Not to say that it all went well.  At first I was digging my own personal hole deeper.  We were gathered to escort two others into Haven mines and suddenly I felt the need to talk to her.  In private.  She obliged and the next thing I know is that I'm holding her whispering to her that I wanted to kiss her and asking permission to do so.  How utterly embarassing.  Once again I choose the inappropriate time.  And to hide away at the back of a house.  Please.  I guess the good things I did were tell her my fears and then made a promise.   I was afraid I was pushing her away because of my misplaced need to be that proper knight at all times.  It was foolish and I would play that fool no more.  That behavior has it's place but when are alone I have to be the man she needs me to be.  Not the knight.  The promise was to kiss her for the first time in a setting that was romantic.  And that time would be soon.  So... After we returned successfully from the mines I excused myself and told her I would be awaiting her near the pool atop the rise in Haven.  There I chanced upon a rose and I picked it and waited.  When her business was completed she joined me and I gave her the rose.  Took her into my arms and kissed her.  Passionately.  At that instant I knew we would be okay.    I felt the tension within her melt away.  And I told her once again that I was not afraid to be the man she needed me to be.  Why did I wait so long?  I think I said in a earlier entry that something was missing.  Well no more.

[Yar Ydnar]

We made the trip to Huangjin to tell her parents.  It was my decision and I wouldn't take no for an answer. So away we went.  I was a wreck on the ship.  Can't say I was nervous.  Confused is more like it.  Kept going over my talk with her father.  But nothing seemed to work.  Jillian tried to settle me but I was beyond hope.  So after sundown she retired to her quarters and left me to my own.  I talked to myself, to the sailors on watch and even the passing seagulls but nothing.  Then the ship's Captain came to me and gave me some advice.  Quit thinking about it.  He was right.  It seems that during the course of the night I told anyone who would listen, and even those who would not, about Jillian.  The Captain knew that if I could be that at ease with complete strangers with regard to my feelings for her, then I certainly could with the family that I was sure to accept me.  He was right.  I was thinking too much.

Wow!! Everyone was at Jillians parents house.   It would seem that that was the day of the unveiling of Jillians newest niece.  Her baby sister had recently given birth and today the baby was to be introduced to the rest of the family.

Jillian's mom and other sister were busy decorating the room for the arrival and positively erupted with joy when she saw us.  As usual she was a flurry of questions and comments and eventually sent me out back to where the men had gathered while Jillian stayed there to help decorate.

While out back the conversation came round to how lucky it was that Jillian had gotten the word about the day's events.  Her father quickly stated that no word was sent as he never knew where she might be.  So he asked me why, or how, it was that we happened to be there on that day.  I told him that indeed it was a happy coincidence that we were there and that I was there for another purpose.  Caleb, I believe, the new father, interupted and said that it was as plain as the nose on my face.  I was there to ask for permission to marry Jillian.  Her father asked me if that was true.  I said yes and it was then that time seemed to halt.  The very air itself refused to move.  He steped up to me and almost demanded I continue on and ask.  I must have looked past him at the others and he immediately said that they were familly and to carry on.  I did just that.  I gathered myself and told him of my feelings for Jillian and her feelings for me.  That I'd already asked her and she had said yes.  That being the case I couldn't go on with the marriage until her family had been properly informed and asked.  Again after, seemingly, an eternity he practically jumped for joy.  I could breath again. But he did insist that we toast the event with this ... brew.... he called Liquid Ambrosia.  Burns going down.  But the aroma and the enticement to my senses after the burn was worth the pain.  What pain?  I asked. She said yes. And now they have as well.   I'm in bliss.  What is this pain?

[Yar Ydnar]

Been awhile since my last entry and rather than recount all tha has happened I'll just quickly go through some of the highlights  But once that has been done, a tragedy today.  One that involves death and the future of two young students of Jillian that I must record in full.

First the summary - Jillian and I are blessed to be together.  Although our alone time is fleeting I have determined that any time with her is fullfilling.  We have always known that we work well together but now that we are together more we find that we anticipate each others actions and can act to support each other without prompting.   There is one small thing I wish she would do for me however.  Learn to D..U..C..K. .  Especially when fighting the undead.  She is so engaged that she relishes the strikes she receives from them.  She seems to gain power from it.  But I really wish she could learn to avoid some of those.   Maybe it's her armor. It's Drugar.  Very good armor.  But it has no ability to absorb some of the taken blow.  I shall get her some addy and see if that helps.  If not she still has the other.    As to our time together, it's rarely alone time.  Not that I need alone time to bask in her presence.  But it would be nice to sit and talk about.... well just talk.  Her time and my time is in such high demand from others.  Ha!  I never knew I could be that popular.  Come to think of it I wasn't until I met her.  Anyway.  We are the type that can't say no to others. It is said that we reap what we sow.  If that's true then my crop is abundant.

Now to the events of the day.  One of Jillian's students, William, parents and siblings, save one, were murdered today in Fort Llast.  Sir Lance gathered a quick party together and we met at the house where the deed took place.  The father was downstairs.  Nearly beheaded.  Blood was everywhere.  I went upstairs to find the mother and three children dead. Only one the Soul Mother had yet to take, John, so he was resurected.  I also discovered William and Mari in the mothers room.  I remember William from a training session that Jillian invited me to in the Mistone Caves.  There I witnesed watched has he made his way through training.  Now I meet him there, in his mothers room, blood everywhere.  I examined her and checked the severity of her wounds.  She had been .... even now it pains me... personally brutilized and finally her throat slit.  I tried to raise her with a scroll but to no avail. I went down to report to Sir Lance my findings with the two youngsters in tow.  We had to remove them from the house.  So much blood. So much pain.

Outside Lance arranged for the bodies to be cared for and talked to William and Mari.  I had found out later that William and Mari had discovered the carnage and made the initial report.  I asked Juanita and the Lieutenant if they had seen, or heard, anything out of the ordinary.  They hadn't.  It was then that WIlliam said he had a bad feeling about some people that his father had hired to do some work about the house.  Nothing specific.  Just a feeling.  Then Micus came up with a blood trail and he and Lance tracked it outside the Fort to an encampment filled with bandits and other nefarious persons.   One was sporting fresh wounds.  Sir Lance was challenged by a hafling.  Lance was cordial, non threatening and open in his conversations with the hafling.  Yet the hafling was rude and utterly obnoxious towards Lance.  I stepped down to join Lance and stated that I saw that one of the men in the camp was wounded and perhaps we could help.  By then the hafling had, what he'd thought, was sufficient back up and ordered us away again.  I flatly stated that not until I examined the wounded man.  It was then that the fools attacked.  Wasn't but a moment and they were strewn about the ground dead.  Foolish waste of life.  They would have lived had they not attacked.  To be sure they would have been taken into custody. Yet they would have lived that day.

That business done we put our weapons away and approached two men by the tents.  As we approached I sensed William fighting the urge to take a life.  His inner battle was immense.  I focused on him as well as the task at hand.  Sir Lance asked a few questions regarding their presence and purpose.  One man, who I assumed to be the leader, said they were there to hunt deer.   But he was the same man who said, after we dispatched his henchmen, that he would now have to hire another crew.  You don't hire thieves and highwaymen to hunt deer.  You hire hunters.  And supposedly the wound the other man was sporting was from a deer.   After Lance had some time to ask a few questions we were again attacked.  Seems that some were left hiding in the tents.  As we were unarmed, or so they thought, they asumed they had the upper hand.  What they failed to realize is that Lance and I are never unarmed.  Even when sporting no weapon in hand. As such these few foolish persons died needlessly.  Still this left the two men we had been talking to unmoved.  It was then that I felt Williams rage and his battle to subdue it almost get the better of him.  He had controlled it that time.  But what about the next.  I was not about to let it get to the next time.  So I told Lance that I grew weary of this and swiftly put the wounded man on his back, ripped off his boot and tossed it to a member of our party to check it for blood and to see if it fit the size of the track we'd been following.  When I moved into action it took everyone by surprize.   I should say everyone, except for Lance.  I think he knew what I was going to do before I knew.  The instant I moved he moved and the leader had no chance.  Lance had him trust up in no time.  All the man could do was curse and spit.  Both tried to present blades against us but they were of no concern and easily negated.  Anyway, while I had this... vermin... on his back I had the opportunity to examine his wounds closely.  Deer wounds my eye.  These wounds were caused by a small blade of some sort.  A paring knife or possibly a standard table knife.  The man swore at me and spat in my face a couple of times.  Even had the fortitude to threaten me.  Told me he would remember me.  At that I laughed and told him to take a good look at me.  That I was not hard to find.  But also to be warned. That those who have came looking for me under such circumstances never came looking again.  All this time I'd been focusing on young William and I sensed that his anger, although not gone, had reduced from a boil to a simmer.  Lance instructed me to make both men ready for transport so I trust up the wounded man and placed both of them into a cart and hooked up the oxen.  Mari had been searching the tents and found a bag containing a significant amount of true within as well as some bloody knives.  We took the men back to Fort Llast and turned them over to the authorites no worse for wear.

But that was not it.  William had said something about a new construction site and that his father had issues. What kind of issues we don't know.  Yet we went to investigate.  A cursory investigation led us to a weapons shop near the site. Inside was the owner and a guard.  Very rare to see a guard as it didn't look like they did brisk, daytime, business.   I engaged the owner in conversation as to whether he had.. exoctic's, that might be for sale.  He said no but that he could get some.  Just needed to know what type.  I then asked about the guard and he gave some answer relating to weapons and security.  It was then that Mari called my attention to a long sword. While looking at it the owner exclaimed he did, infact, have an exotic weapon out back.  I asked him to bring it here... in front... so that I could look at it.  He disappeared through the door and we heard him, trying, to ride away.  I say trying, because Lance, once again had anticipated this and had stopped him before he had gotten far.  Had him off his horse and face down in the road. My what instincts Lance has.  We got him up to his knees facing Lance and then it happened.  He admitted to everything.  Was going on and on about how he had killed Williams father.  It was then that I sensed the boil again so I quietly moved between William and him.  He was about to say something else when I put my boot against his chest and shoved him over onto his back.  I felt William move.  But he regained control. Still the fool would not shut up.  Then he said it.  He asked William if he wanted to know what his mother had said before he killed her.  This I would not allow.  William's rage was so intense that I'm amazed he reatained any control at all. Yet I could not let it go further. So I came down on the mans chest with all my weight and force behind one knee.  He gasped and passed out but for good measure I stuffed a rag in his mouth and secured it firmly with another tied around his head.  Almost immediately I felt the rage within William turn into surprize, and then relief.  We loaded up the man on his horse and took him into Fort Llast to the authorities.  Seems that  there was a weapons theft ring working in the shop we had visited.  His stock was actually stolen.   Any special orders were stolen items as well.  It appears that Williams father got wind of this and was going to inform the authorites.  They killed him before he could.

All through this I had been focussing on William, but once we were back into the Fort I noticed that I was getting ... awkward glances from Mari.  I hope she thinks this is not something I do as a matter of routine.  Normally I would take the verbal abuses from men such as these as they really mean nothing to me.  But in this case William needed something to break the rage within him.  I did these things to do that .  To confront him by confronting his mental state through impersonal action. In this case those actions taken against those that did this vicious crime against his family.  In the end justice was served by those assigned by society and not at the point of my, or William's, sword  I hope she sees the true intent in my actions.