Standing out - Ausir Stargazer

[Lance Stargazer]

[SIZE=24]Entry one
The path so far. [/SIZE]

Writting a book , never really gave a thought to it,  the life in the woods and the calm of home, I heard that it was not easy for dad, But guess parents always do that for some kind of lesson to the new generations, And well now that Aiden is nowhere to be seen its a good moment to start with this writtings, I care about my brother, but the shadow of him beside me well its at times that one likes to be acknowledged as one. He and i have become shadow of the other, We know where to strike, and how to do so, the lessons  Mom gave us were really useful, and well Dad sword has been really good to learn from too, Aidan works more alongside the woods and guess that much time together has made us learned to know when the other is always, learning to use the open guard of an oponent to our advantage. He is way more swift than me i must say. Nothing bad i guess, but i prefer the straight way of doing things if that make sense. That comes to me to speak of the shorties, my dear sisters Keira and Orn, They are my little sisters and no one, and i mean no one its going to hurt them as long as i have some breath inside my lungs.

Has been a good life , Mom, dad , Even all the people whom mom and dad make us call uncles, their life friends and such, I am not sure if I can really bring that to Miss Dot, that woman knows how to scare people off, Not that i care for what people think really, but she is really intimidating, strong character and  well muscularly build, All the weapons she carry well.. just make me wonder why she is not a soldier or something as that, What she does for living . Well that is something i should not really care if she is out there, she must be doing things that are lawful so..

On the other hand there is Aunt Keela and SehKy, elves as they are and well..  too sweet if i can tell you truth, I don't see how is that they and my parents become friends for starters, Dad seems to be not really at pleasure with that, but he is smart, he plays with the rules, I do see some of his issues,  ( which i personally don't care ), the deity things. Those two ilsareans are true to their reputation, what i love for visiting them is all the candies we can get for.. well .. for just being us.

Grandfather Lance , he and Grandmother Ell well., they are quite the pair, it feels odd to say that they are my grandparents, they seem to be hoping for me to blast with divine rays from Toran himself or something, its why Aiden and me have agreed to not mention the familiarity, we love them yes but I can't imagine how they can live with the eyes on them. No private life. And yet  its odd to see heroes as them so close, Dad always tell us about how they had issues and all the things they have done, still tales are usually exagerated , else how the heroics would born? I've been on Hilm thanks to  what this stories have come, so some of the stories has to be truth. It is actually something weird tough that Grandfather Lance has the same movements than dad, I've saw them sparring and i learned a couple of things from them.

Mrs Keira, the woman that Dad said took care of her, she visits each time less and less, since well , she seems really old, and tired yet We enjoy her stories when we visit Leringard to stay for the month, to visit our grandparents, How could i forget to mention my little sister Lislette Iellwen Stargazer, or Lis Ell as we call in our family, she is still to young but feels good to see Mom and Dad enjoying her, she takes a lot of their times, and as the last one of my family enjoys special atention, her eyes always looking and observant, sharing that trait with my grandmother, Geez never been able to break that woman's nerve, wonder if my lil sister will share that trait eventually, I'd hate to see the one who tries to marry her if that is the case,  Well or rather not.. i may be able to have a word ith the one who feels brave enough to date with my sister, We'll see if he passes -my- criteria.. or goes away.

**He acomodates a lock of his long dark chocolate hair over his ear and looks up when listening something then smiles and sets some dry sand over the book, awaiting for it to dry and then closing it, placing it under the wooden plank that is loose , then walks out trying to look neutral and not worried *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry two
The way of the warrior

My book its not so intresting so far, not as much as those old books grandfather have on his home, about warfare, tactics and such, but what found most amusing was one book like i had never seen before, Well, not as that, I found that book earlier, when i was a kid, part of the teachings that grandfather told us, he usually was reticent to share us much of it, Aiden and i had to sneak inside to give a look to it for starters. It was quite a shock now that i understand much of what it has in its book.

Since I was able to understand the contents I've started to get fascinated with the concepts there, Basics on the technique and moral teachings, the Rohdemian crane blade style, or so its described there, alongside moral teachings, I must say that its amusing to read about how grandfather was when he was a student of the art, it doesn't sound like the general that is now, made me wonder what happened on his life to be where he is, Dad doesn't speak much of it, he just tell us that we have to get thru a lot of tests to get to his skill with the blade and diplomacy.

Back to the point, it turned that my family holds the secrets of this blade style, My grandfather teacher was developing it and inherit it to my grandfather in order to perfect itself, I am not sure why he didn't do so, I mean he is good with that blade, but there is more in this style to develop, more potential to unfold, its so exciting just to think on that, I am not the one to judge him of course, but his priorities may lay elsewhere . . . . . . . as his position as Commander says i guess.

Dad shares that very same style as well, the basics of it, and had teached us to both Aiden and myself, the basic forms are a bit complicated but effective, as always practice is the best teacher there, Been working on that as well, I am becoming stronger each day that passes i feel less and less the weight of the wooden blade.

Dad has taught us the use of diferent kind of weapons, Aiden specially hates the greatsword, but Dad says that practicing and learning the use of those won't only help us to understand how battle works ( infantry and all ), but to help to build muscle needed to carry the armor and the shield. guess its better than pass hours carring a shield over one's shoulders as I saw those Rofirenites in Vehl on that trip with Dad,

And well the basic training its getting a point there as well, I am able now to hit the very same spot of a tree at least 3 times in a row, my understanding of this is getting better and better, Some of the girls even are starting to being pulled away of me at times, like if i understand women, And the irony is that i should with 3 sisters to take care of

Helping with home and mom gives me the time to practice more and more, its a dobleside blessing, cause it means extra chores at home as well, And the ocassional chance of a brawl with the bullies on the block, I can't help to grin as i am writting this, Its odd that some of the kids of the block says that -I- am the bully, but I do so just for picking on kids who picks on other kids , so what I am a bully of bullies? Food for thought,  I'd ask mom but that surely would get me in trouble .

Guess was enough writting for some time, now back to babysitting the shorties. I'd rather have the time to go and practice, but oh well. They are a lovely annoyance.

**He stands and looks around to make sure no one has seen him, closes the book and secures the leather strap on it, placing it in a hidden plank under the bed, then the boy becoming slowly a man, walk showing his long chocolate hair towards where his little sisters are, showing way more concern and love than what his written words expresses *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry three
About Blades and weapons

Another entry, I've been thinking about a lot regardings the study of weapons you know, to think that most people only think that they are instruments for killing, that is as simple as wacking something till it stops moving, but it has way more into it than just that. For starters I've trained with the greatsword the wooden one, Dad says that is how he learned and also how grandfather learned, I do see a lot of common in this, and I've seen the style that he uses and its quite similar to grandfather, guess i am inheriting it as well, Not that i complain on that but where i was ?  o yes the greatsword, its indeed a powerful weapon, and indeed an infantry one, its weight serves well to flank the cavalry when they strike the infantrly, the long blade serves well to break the spears and lances, the strenghts of the weapon its also its weakness, the weight of it, Its efficiency relies on the very weight of it, that over the edge, the edge cuts but its the weight of the blade what does the work.

Then there is the rapier, my mother's and Aiden's favorite, quick weapon giving an edge over an oponent due the distance and the fast piercing attack, one may be able to move fast and pierce the enemy before he can react if he or she is not careful, deadly weapon indeed,  but again its strenght its its weakness as well, a needle per see easy to break if the opponent places the shield in direct oposite angle to it, the lack of edge also gives the disavantage on some situations.

The shortsword, useful for really close spaces, the small size of the blade helps when one doesn't have much time to act, or to act by surprise, extremly deadly on specific situations and always good to carry one, just in case, a bit larger than a dagger, and in that way more effective again depending on the situation, very versatile, its only drawback its the lack of reach, which makes it unsuitable for a long fights without the surprise factor.

The Longsword, the knight's weapon, Dad and grandfather's favorite, its indeed a reliable weapon, one that allows figth with moderate speed and reach, not to mention that the technique with the blade has been quite developed by generations and generations over, quick and certere, gaining what the short blade lose, reach and offensive power, the double edge helps as well to change the attack ways, again making it very versatile.

Now i've learned with this study one of the flaws on the development of the technique by my father and grandfather, the blade itself, The longsword is indeed a good blade, and yet the style is better used mixed the one and half hand, it makes sense though why the style speaks of learning the greatsword first, and then the longsword, The one and half hand or bastard sword, combines the qualities of this two blades, also giving the wielder the ability of changing styles in the middle of the combat, from one handed to two handed, making it more flexible to figths and allowing more variety of movements, the blade is larger than the longsword, and heavier on the blade, gaining some advantage upon that very blade, but not as bulky as the greatsword, I see why Linus used the Bastard blade instead of the long one, It makes sense, It also with the training given by the style makes you learn to use the blade well, and use all the intrincacies of the style.

I need to think about this, and well practicing again, Dad its not quite happy i guess, but doing things on his back its not like the first time right? And well, I trying to help with my training, and its always good to learn more isn't it?  

**He gets his work on the figth, closing his eyes and hitting the dummy, his senses focused on the wood enemy, listening to the surroundings, feeling the area around himself, then as sharp and certere as a snake he strikes the dummy with determination, then again,hitting the very same spot again, showing the discipline learned thru lots of practice *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry four
Living example : Aunt Dotty

Today was quite intresting, I went to do an errand for Dad at the neighbor shop, The Saddlebag, there i met Aunty Dotty, or that is how Dad and mom calls her, i really don't know how is that they reached to that level of confidence, the woman is scary as the pits, she carries herself with real security as she walks, she is too diferent to my father and mother you know? She works on the store, eventually we had a small chat, as i was looking around for the prices of weapons, i guess i was too obvious asking about the one hand and half blade, since she caught my intrest real fast.

It turns that in some degree that kind of blade its her choice as well, she even allowed me to spar with her, geez, i still have pain in places i didn't know one could get so much pain, But she is really good with the blade, i understand some of the moves she does and i am in theory understand some of the diferences, its good to be able to see diferent styles on the practice, to analyze what one situation face another, I tried to do a pattern of attacks, the very same pattern i've used with dad during our trainings, and now i see the diference on reactions beetwen the longsword and the one and half blade, the diferences are very subtle, but there they are. She is really  quick, most of Linus notes make sense as well, the base of a good fight start in the grasping on the blade, Miss Dot has that well present and her hits start to build the momentum on a very hard grasp, so the hand doesn't tremble on any hit, inflicting the strenght that the weapon is designed for without any hessitation. Enlightening indeed.

I had to return to home, so the lesson didn't lasted long, but I will come back you can bet on it  

** Again the young man takes down the book, closing the strap and hidding the book under the plank *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry five
Bullying for the good cause?

- No, You'll back off now!!!-

*The voice was heard as Ausir stands in front of his sister, crying and in the ground, they were surrounded by other kids, weaker than him and yet still holding the advantage on number, he studied the situation, his chances were slim and yet he simply couldn't stand without doing anything *

- So, you believe yourself a hero then, huh? - *the leader of the other boys barked * - Lets show him how is that heroes end here, boys -

*Ausir smirked in showing open confidence or perhaps too much stubborness, with a grin on his face and without backing up a bit, still he whispered to his sister *  - Once I move,  run for the house -

**He knew he couldn't win this fight, he had seen thru the diferent strategies, he may be able to take down one or perhaps two before his guard left exposed, once then he maybe would be able to dispatch another just because he had been training, but a man can't beat the numbers, or so he thought, as his mind was going around the scene trying to find a way to get out of this one*


- I am by no way a hero - *Ausir smirked at the leader*, but also what i am not is a wimp that hides behind his friends to go and pick on little girls, cause its not man enough to pick with bigger boys *Giving the look directly to the leader again with that mocking smirk *  Remind you of someone eh , Samuel? Nobody else but me has rigth to pull my sister pigtails , hear me? -

**Ausir shifted his posture, again his mind cold and awaiting for the strike, the first movement will define this fight, just the first step then all the battle will unfold, as a wild river, he felt the rhytm of it on the air, how the shifting on the moods, how the blood were getting to their heads, how his words had affected his enemy leader ability to think cool, he had at least that on his advantage *


- Get him, now - *Samuel barked to his gang, and so it start, the first boy striked first, a movement Ausir expected, this were farmers and the movement was a bit slow, but faster than what Ausir expected, he was unable to move fast enough to dodge it recieving the hit on the shoulder on the mean time he sent a counter punch to the face of the attacker. as this happened he yelled *


- And what are you watching here , you dumb shortie? , get out of here, or i'll pull those pigtails once i show this weaklings how to fight - *He shouted to his sister, he hated in the deep to be as that with her, the Lil Ell was scared enough and his action wouldn't help with this, but he had to do something for his sister to get to safety, the girl did as her instincts told her to do, she knew how hard Ausir could be mean at times, and how hard he liked to pull her hair, a common history with their sisters, so she ran as fast as she could to get into the house *

*Ausir bend himself and tried to gain space against his attacker, when the second strike was felt on his back, the cur of a boy had striken back before he was able to recover of the first hit, at least the first attacker laid on the floor, and won't be waking up anytime soon, he reacted turning around and using the momentum on his waist to throw a backfist hit to his attacker, then another hit was felt this time on the stomach, his air escaping his lungs, the rest of the fight was as he had predicted barely called a fight,  The rest of the gang start to strike him on the floor, and he was only able to cover from the incoming blows, then all of sudden something was yelled by his attackers, he was so confused that he didn't heard a thing of what was said, when he opened his eyes, he saw a guard of Haven comming to the scene  to keep the order, and then a smile on his face as he passed out*

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry six
About Elven

One counld not believe that eventually dad's point came to be true, That learning other ways of expression may prove useful, it turned that it was good to know this elven dialect, at least to know it, that way one can use some kind of cryptography you know?, the point is that everything can be learned with the proper motivation. Ausir and I learned our first word nyeenea 1, always a good way to motivate a boy to learn, amoung our years of training and the times on our own, the use of the lenguaje had put us out of more trouble than what it has getting it into.

Dad's teachings from our very beggining, teaching my mother two, I always found easier to understand mom's hand movements, and subtle gestures, Aidan as well, but still learning elven with Dad was something that put us together as family, my grandmother being an elf, and Aunt SehKy and Keela, despite of us leaving them cookieless appreciate and helped us to practice the tongue, its a hard life to live without understanding elven on an elves house, Dad mentioned me about that great library i want to travel one day, maybe i can find more information about blade styles there, one can't get out of the groove just for not knowing a language isn't it, not to mention that the elven blademasters are well known for their skill*

Well back to the work on the blade then .
 

** The entry is written both in common and elven, and has been the case for the notes of the last years *

1 : Cookie

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry seven
To become a man

The house is calm, odd enough for the time we live, Mom and Dad are taking going to visit Orn, its better this way, I've told my father and my mother that i wanted to see the world, They were reluctant on the idea at first, They don't know I passed the binding ritual already, same as Aidan did, they don't know that we did that last year in Hlint when they went to do some shoping, it was reckless, but well it worked somehow, I wonder if their reaction would change knowing that we are bound, I wonder if the gesture of worriness on my mother would disappear if I tell her of this, I guess not.

My father and i had that long chat about being outside and returning home. I promised him to writte, that is as much as i can writte, there is a wonderful world out there, and i've learned as much as i can under their care, my path is set and i won't waver, This blade i'll master it, I'll see where this path will lead me, the Stargazer family swordstyle, lots of facets yet to discover, the learning is far from over, This path its just begguining.

I will pray for my parents as my father taught me, Its something that seems to calm them, I respect the gods of light, Toran has indeed blessed me with a good life, and good examples to follow, but that very thought is what made them blind to the secrets that this style has to offer, I've read Linus notes throughtfully, And he seems to think that in The divine gifts the true mastery can be achieved, But I am far from seeing how, What i do see and understand is that i need to master the blade first before learning that step, I am after all just begguining the path that Linus walked long ago, Its understandable that one has to learn what the master already learned. That is my path forward, There is not much this town can show me , the old Shiff still on the patrol, a master of that great blade or so he is called, Wondered if that is the fate of the master?  Is he happy? Would i be happy ?

Its not then time of doubts, Its time to step forward and follow the path where the blade takes me,  

** The young man takes a last look to his home, the memories of years of games and fights coming to his mind, his eyes turn wet, but he cleaned them fast, with a decided step he  entered the portal. a portal to his new life   *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry eight
The step forward, the look behind ... Connections

*The man gazed at the dark attaired in his well used clothes, the cave was warm and nice for the incoming winter, he had moved west of the outpost named at Center and finally had found a place to rest and to train again, there has been way worse places than this ones of course, living in the sewers of Center and Hempstead for days and not eating other thngs than white mushrooms and rat meat is not by any chance what he had thought to be an splendid food, yes when speaking of this he usually leaves out the part of the rats, its not good to impress girls, he grinned a bit at the thought,  and yet still here he was again, delving into the deep again, to train his body to build the resistence to the elements and to the disease, to perfect his art, his lifestyle and the path he had choosen.

He was wondering on how things are now, and why he was persuing this crazy dream, before this he had a good family, a good home, he was loved and cared for, a mother and father that raised him fair.

- You all started somehow - *he voice of the girl echoed on his mind*

*To become a wanderer, an adventurer of sorts , and it was for his own willing wish, he was not as that kid with a drunken father that sold her for more wine, he had not the actual need to go into the world as this, he knew how to work and instead making now his life of a blade, he put away those thoughts aside as he kept delving into the cave, the sound of the water drops falling upon the rock echoeing over the whole place, making his senses more aware, his ears catching up the tune, showing him the path.

He was not doing this for a merely wish, this is his legacy, he felt the need of training and this is how Linus would have done it, only following the path of the master, the studen would be able to understand the true secret of the blade, that is where his grandfather and father had failed to understand, he had done a lot of his own conclusions, he had found the results to his liking still on this times, the choice of the weapon, was the first hint he was moving into the right direction. Directions .. conections. . It seemed too convenient for a reason. Maybe a sign from Toran itself, or a small joke sent by the life, a provervial pie at the face.

He felt a bit odd at the traveling, he met this girl which name he had heard before, and how could have been forgetting, back in the past about years ago when his father traveled a bit more into the world, She was one of his grandfather students, that would explain the easyness she was able to manage the basic kata of unsheathing, he felt odd at the moment with her, And she didn't seem too unpleased of him, For unknown reasons, and he was justifying himself as just amusement he had followed this girl back to Llast to help that girl, and despite everything, it ended in good term, the trip back to center was a nice one, and the chat and the time by the fire, was somethng that had give a good change to his routine, he thougt at first as a distraction to his path, but what serves the path of the blade if not for helping those that may need, That was one of Linus teachings, and now he understood that, to stay connected and avoid being detached, he had heard of students of the way that lost themselves into the blade itself, the blade should not overcome the duty of the man, we are still humans, mortals and we should study to make the world better, and not letting the way of the blade overcome our minds and obsess us with the dark feelings that this may bring . One should stand ready for service.

The path is still far, *he gazed upon the sky as the light of Ausir and Orn reached down into the cave he smiles at them and spoke in loud voice to the nothing*  I am sorry mom, dad, I'll not be visiting soon, I am still not ready, but know that i am thinking on you. Please take care till I can see you again.

*With that he turned his back at the light and started to delve even more down into the cave*  

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry nine
RAGE!!!

*The darkness engufled around the cave.



**A red flash of blood and screams around in a second *

*The water falling one drop at time, the calm that each of the drop on the pond and the echo thru the cavern*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*The vision of the whole city in flames and the sight of the man holding the blade with murderous intent *

*The lots of papers with strange character draw around the man sitting on lotus flower position*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*The yells  and the driven to kill and above everything the blasted sound of the heart pumping and echoing over his head *

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*Ausir was sitting there, his eyes closed and totally away of the world, his body not moving, as the breathing has gone almost completly absent, silent, as the world behind him, has been the hardest 2 weeks on his life, if not close to it. He as master of the path has to master himself, He sit there surrounded by parchent with strange characters, the big brush near as well as the ink, he practiced the caligraphy as he enjoyed in the past, to feel the flow on his hand to feel the smooth movement of the blade, it was said by Linus on his books that in knowing the caligraphy of a man you may know the man itself, and so Ausir found solace in the writting of odd characters of the far away land of Tilmar, such place always have been close to his heart, the teachings the Odo Ko Ono, and the way his family raised him, he had been closed on his own, living to perfect his style, rather than to help around, yet he doesn't forget this teachings, if you aren't going to help someone at least don't increase the suffering. All those Linus teachings.*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*He gained and lost so much in the last days, he felt his body reacting to his growing skill, the quickness of his arm and legs to move and do feats that would not believe posible as he goes in his path of learning, and then The rage, he had not stoped to hear the heart beat along all the time he spent on the desert,  he was aware something was not well with him and took the time to pull the rage away of inocent people, he became an animal wild in the wastelands that the desert is, faced and killed mercilessly countless of giants, not cause he wanted , not cause he enjoyed, just because he could, it was not a good thing, his heart ache as he knew he lost the path. The beating of that heart.  echoing  everywhere. *

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*The images comes continually  his mind, places razed and burned, people killed by one single man, a field littered in bodies, and the rage, an illimited irrationable rage fueled by his most basic instincts, that is what he worried more, of all the things he feared the most fearful was the end of some masters in the past, to fall and lose the path of the blade and fight for the blade, to get obsessed with it, To forget that the blade its just a weapon, a tool, one that shall be used to straight moved only by your beliefs, a just beliefs, and he was forgetting that, he was getting better, faster, but at which cost? *

*thump , thump ... Thump Thump*

It started earlier, about one month or so ago, he was traveling with this girl Liliah, daughter with her own problems and a head in worse state than his, and he saw her fall to a giant, It was just another battle, nothing special, the foe got her good, a good strike to the head which put her in a vulnerable position, then the end came quick at least, the giant could have taken her and run with her to eat her or even worse fates could come to Ausir mind, alas he did not, he just killed her, because he could, that giant was not different for him right now, It was not the fact she fell that angered him, he respects a rival who is able to overcome a foe in a combat, he respects more to a rival who ends the suffering quick, alas he felt anger, not for the fall of the woman, not because she was his friend, not because he felt that need to protect her, Death happen in a battle, he had done peace with that Long ago when he started his path, but alas, what use had his skill if he couldn't serve to protect those who cares for, he was not quick enough, he killed the rival with a strong blow to  the head, and he was well with it, but then the anger came.. the days passed and it only got worse, that song well tuned and yet so right, and then that heart racing .... *

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*It was not his heart, he knew that, just was everywhere, like a maddening song asking for blood to let the anger get loose, to see the world set aflame, he lost his focus, and he didn't like it, he even tried to kill his only friend on this last times, the good Celador stayed with him even after this and he listened to him, he was dangerous to everyone and yet Celador stayed with him, the wizard didn't seem to understand and yet that didn't matter he stayed, the vain an easy going attitude vague reflection of a heart of gold, or at least it was for the man now meditating *

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*This time of meditation made him remember a beacon of hope, someone whom have learned of his past and in whose thoughts he had found solace often, Ausir would never accept it to others, but he'll found a beacon of hope on this woman, a student of the path, and ironically taking the same detour than his own family, he was remembering of Mari the paladin of Toran, the woman knew of his past, and despite his fears stayed true to him as a person not seeing what the heavy burden of his last name carried, she saw thru it, Ausir at first was surprised, "So this is the wisdom and the Power of the Hand of virtue that Linus said will complement the way of the blade" it was his thougts, He sent a letter to her, he didn't expect a reply but that made him feel better*

*And Liliah, he had not seen her since the last time when she fell, and he was worried, the woman see him as a friend, and her mind was not usually on the right spot, he found that pretty, her inocence was something needed, a good way to deal with her own hard past, if more people were so easygoing with the problems the world would be a better place, even as this thougths filled his mind, he had to stay away for the moment. He needed to recover his own self, he needed control*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*The heart pace slowed each time, he had been there for two weeks already, going out just to hunt something to eat, it was hard cause in his solitude he asked his friend to deprive him of his own senses in order to find himself again, he was deaf, in hopes to quell the sound of the heart, but a man trapped on his own mind without anything else to hear can only pull deep into madness or emerge again as the Phoenixes are rummored to be, from ashes, he had to fight that, he had to concentrate and beating the most hard of foes ... himself*

*And so he stayed in the cave, in deep meditation fighting to his own inner fights and demons, fighting as he could heart the heart pouncing and thumping, Soon the next test will come, he realized it of late that alone won't acomplish anything. .. he have to return home, and make peace with that inner fight as well, he missed his parent, and he wanted to explain to them the why's of his actions, he wanted to see her sisters, to pull their hair,to harrass them cause he loved them, oh the gods know how much he loves them, and after all... he'll see his brother.*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*thump Thump , .. thump .. thump*

*The heart keep racing in his mind, the beating constantly sending dark images into his mind, there will more fights, but for now... its time for peace *

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry ten Home.

[SIZE=14]*The Haven city is as he remembered, the grass green, and the now scarcer cows due the famine, the calm wind on the farmland and the new generation of children running over the street, now not much away of their parents, the city was at the sametime changed, more scary of strangers, and the gossip of an strange mist over the area, if it was on his usual self he would be aware of it, but not this Ausir, he saw Kit doing her patrol and dealing with the rascals from the Loopa family, always in trouble for their shadowy bussiness, yet Ausir didn't noticed it, the world was inmnersed into blood and gore, all in red shades, he felt each step as he was closer his destination, he had walked long, her body remind him of that, with each step as a sting on his ribs, his long hair down soaked in dry blood, as has been over the last months.. he was nothing but a man standing only by his will.* *He hold no memories of how he reached there, he didn't need those, all that mattered is that he was back, and that soon his battle had to start, he was going to see his parents and family, he has been in the city in the past, while polishing his fight style and finding himself, alas now he returned lost and even in more need of finding himself than ever, the door was finally in front of him.. so he raised his hand trying to knock, the knock never came, not on his will anyway, his strength failed then he did lean upon the frame of the door, composing himself he tried again, raising the hand he let the arm fall on its own weight giving a weak short knock on the wooden door, there was no reply, then he tried again, and again, till finally the reply came of the door, he had no idea of when that happened, for him he could have been standing there for days or even seconds, on his state time stoped to hold any meaning, all that mattered was that the door opened, the familiar face of Ginger appearing at the door, that was enough for him, or that is the last he remember , he dropped to its tiredness and fell to the ground, eerie feelings and sounds around his head, he believed he heard the name of his mother being called in hurry, it really didn't matter... he was home. *

_________________________________________________________________________________________________ *When he wake up, he finally saw them, his parents were beside him, taking care of him as the old days when he was a kid, he felt relieved to see them and somehow sad, weak, those thoughts he put away fast, he was not to fall into the old mistakes, those are his family not a burden nor his enemies, he tried to stood but was not able to do so.*

_________________________________________________________________________________________________ *The man stayed home for a month, in that time he saw his sisters Keira and Lis Ell, he had the time to teach them some display of swordmanship, also to take the chance to give a good scare to someone apparently too intrested in Keira's love, Good old times, this made his heart fill in joy, he even watched the good old Shiff over his patrols talking to his sword occassionally, the days for pranks were long gone, and yet those days filled his heart with joy, slowly the rage was nothing but an echo in the back, how a man can relearn the good things in life just by spending time with people was beyond him, Linus teachings to fight for the people and not for the blade came into sense as well* *And above all.. he saw his brother, at first was tense, but after the first day the two men were speaking and spending time like no time had passed before, they had a minor spar, alas Ausir was supperior this time, his training was giving fruits, he was no longer the shadow of the twin, but a man on his own worth, and yet he needed to speak well with his brother, in this peace the man was able to breath calm, another demon vanquished * *During that month he even was watching thru the window , he thought he saw Liliah and Celador walking by, he was not ready to met the people who had helped him alas, that made him smile, and return to his meditations* *He learned though that his sister Orn was not home, she had taken too seriously the service and had stayed in Llast the last whole seasons comming home occassionally, but he was not lucky today, Alas, he thought that it would have made his father feel happy for someone to had taken that path, Ausir felt bad on that a bit, he had friends in the faith, alas he felt a bit responsable for not following the tradition and tryied his best as a knight, yet he had other path, a path that maybe Toran pick for him, nonetheless, he wanted to follow this path as well and did not regret what he had done, dear prices he had to pay , and hard lessons he had to be. * *And so after a month, he came to his fathers, and bid them farewell, this time as a son that promised to return, no longer running, but just extending his reaches.* *The morning sun arised as the man attaired in green armor was seen walking away from home, this time his doubts turned into strenghts* [/SIZE]

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry Eleven

Fool

*Ausir is seen sit on the outside of the tent, the drawings of some symbols on the ground and the wooden practice blade used for making them, the man seems torn, beetwen his eyes, usually focused   doubt was found, the man turned towards inside the tent, the sleeping girl there was still resting, he smiled briefly at something as he took his hand to his own lips, he then took his journal and finishing his writtings *

What are you doing Ausir?

This is a fool's errand isn't it?  Its somehow to be fooling yourself into an ideal world, you can't ignore the facts and what you see, you must follow your gut, alas. . . Its hard. .  Somehow i thought i was special for her, or maybe its just that I am in a way i don't understand? Or that is just another rationalization on my own, **he leaves the book down , takes a glances around and then picks up again*

I can say that she makes me feel special, and she somehow corresponds to the feelings, she is in need of attention, we have some things in common, our family love/hate, and she is indeed a sweet woman, but .... It seems that she has not desire to keep doing the next step.. Or is she testing...  and if she is doing so. .. then  ... till when?  what makes me think that she won't do the same once and if we do the next step.

And yet at the same time I feel like a third wheel, a second choice maybe.? Someone who. .**the writting finishes in an abrupt way*

I should not think this way, It maybe just a stage, and I am a Stargazer, I won't give up on this, and by Toran's and the gods of light , they will show me the way thru here, my path , my fate, ..  I won't fail , i must give my all, even if in the end I got burn by this. .  Alas ... **he stops a bit and looks towards the tent, then back to the book*  No matter the result, I am still the fool, isn't it?

**The man leaves the book and closes it, Stores it away and returns inside the tent, the face of the man showing a smile as he lays down inside and close the tent*

 

[Lance Stargazer]

Entry 12
The lone sword

... I am ready for whatever is your answer? ..

*The words keep echoing in his mind after the meeting, the cherry blonde girl, no .. woman had spoken this with the determination that is natural on her ilk, If it was not for the inmense pain he felt at the moment he would have the luxury to feel strange at a woman being decalring to him, as if it was not enough .

It was an interesting time, he had to learn of this, he maybe flirted a bit, he let her braid his hair, and even now he start to braid part of his hair after her doing so, part of it desired to carry it that way, to be closer to what she is and he knew he wouldn't be able.

-She needs a better man, and so she deserves -

*He whispered to himsel, What good can he cause her, she was sprited and willing to do changes in the world, they had a lot in common, but at the same time they belonged to another world, like two sides of the same coin, like light and darkness, They shared the teachings and the precepts, but vary several degrees on their methods, and he knew he would never be able to follow her steps, .... maybe in other life.

Her soul devoted to Toran, she so closer to lady Daniella, he following the path of the style inherited to his grandfather, and follwoed thru his bloodline till him, a true follower of the code....

It is him and him alone who walk this path, And there was Liliah, his heart knew, and his mind knew that she'll never be his, at least not whole, she liked to play that way, and so far he had enjoyed the fun part of it, How could he dared to stain the purity of her... And so he walked away.

- The path is still long - *The man spoke while the rain start to fall on his face, water that may hide the tears he had not wanted to feel or see*- I am but a lone sword, this is the way it should be, my heart belongs to my blade, and my blade to the world.

I ... am sorry Mary.

*He clenches his fists, and harden his heart, the pain will pass, its natural to feel pain, it means he was alive still, it is a lesson, everything is a lesson, Even swords are allowed to rest at times, but once the rust is removed it reborn stronger than ever*

*The man kept walking over the mountain hill, till the fog made his silouethe dissappear*