Journal of a drow (Zanirth's)

[Niles09]

- Sielwood
 
The last weeks have gone fast. After I leaned Leviran to hunt, I could get out more. I needed to see Cym. I found him in Anoruch, strange he travelled together with Daralith. Ive only met Daralith once but that was enough he’s a drow, an a bad one. Bah! The way he talks, he obviously things he’s supercilious to everyone else. I left them for a short time and when I returned Cym was gone. Besides from Daralith, Elrend a half giant or something and some others where around and I felt like adventuring, so I joined them. Hmmf Elrend obviously didn’t mind Daralith, and when Daralith and I got into an argument, Elrend said we should marry eachother, that bastard to Daralith said “do you think she can bear my child?” How dare he! At least he shut up when I said I was going to shoot his head of next.   A few days later I found my love again, and we ventured a lot. The trolls moors, Berhagen, and Cym’s undead tour: Dire woods, Krandor Crypts and Storans. Gave me some time to test some new techniques. I thought about it while resting in Sielwood beside Leviran, he’s surely growing big, I should show him to Cym soon. I got to test my techniques again in Storans, with Cym, Jser and Elrend. After these days I feel a lot stronger.  

[Niles09]

- Sielwood

I decided that Cym should meet Leviran…. I thought it should be a happy moment but it wasn’t… I guess I should have expected it, Leviran have never seen me together without anyone, but him so he must think he’s the centre of my attention!
At first he wouldn’t come out when I called so me and Cym went into the woods. Still, no sign of him. Cym have really been nice lately, I’ve dragged him through a lot so I could get some training, I kissed him as thank. That made Leviran appear… he came storming towards Cym claws raised and his ears laid back, ready to kill…. I grappled him just as he was about jump onto Cym. Goodness he was really furious I could barely hold him as he was trying to get to Cym. I scolded him a lot, trying to make him understand that was NOT a proper behaviour. Finally after some time he didn’t attack when I took Cym’s hands and kissed his cheek, oh but the moan he made, it was heart breaking! When we got to Hlint Cym suddenly got the idea to give him fish. Hmmpff! How could Leviran just completely drop to defend his right for me for a bit of fish! He didn’t try to kill Cym anymore, though he seemed to enjoy scaring my love, by snapping after his hand…

[Niles09]

- Sielwood

I talked with Storold, for the first time since... I can barely remember, someplace before Eamane and Isilme started... changing. He had changed. He almost appeared... tired. He talked bad about himself, said he have been arrogant when I first got to know him. I dont remember him being so bad, maybe except once in Sielwood, long time ago, not anything that bothered me. Anyway he said he had changed, he had met this girl named Nyyana and had fallen in love with her, though that went only one way around, she didnt love him. Im sorry for him, it must be hard. I told him about Cym, how happy I am and how much Cym means to me. I told him Ive never been happier.

Sigh... I miss Cym alot. He left to meditate on a mountain or something he said, and to visit his mother. Before that we talked. I asked him about Azatta, which resulted in a looong discussion. Im confused. We both agreed that I had the same ideals as his goddess, but why should I then worship her? I said I dont like the word "worship", and that I have no reason for it, since she or any other god never have done anything for me. He told me I should open up my heart for her, but I dont like it. I told him I had a hole after the murder, and I a moment thought about Azatta, but instead he filled it out. I feel safe with him, so what should I do with Azatta? Anyway it was a loong discussion and it made me confused, which I still am.

[Niles09]

 - Sielwood
  I went to the great library to read about Azatta.. I don’t know why, but something about it fascinates me. I must admit I admire her not very godlike way of being. All the other gods talk about crusading and all got their own favourite weapons, Azatta speak of peace, she don’t even have a favourite weapon.   It was so good to see Cym too, when her got back. I’m very happy…   Though, I talked with him. Deep down in the troll caves while I was recovering after a troll surprise attack. I told him my story until Hlint.  Oh and I made a dress! It feels nice to wear it, instead of always wearing that tight leather armor, with a knife in the booth, weapons by hand always prepared. Should anyone attack me now, I could always just hide away in the shadows. The bet part was to see Cym’s expression when he saw me. I told him that I, at that time, was tired of being away from him. I can hide infront of people now, a big advantage should anyone ever come for me, so I don’t need to train so hard anymore. However that means I wont see Cym so often so I told him it would be nice to live together with him.  Ive also adventured with Storold lately. He finally got to meet Cym and we adventured around in Anuroch. I wish we hadn’t went there. We went to the big giant cave, where I used to go with Eamane and Isilme. Brought back some bad memories. But…. I don’t know. I had just hoped Cym would show a bit more passion when I told him my story, but he didn’t really do anything. I wish it could be more than travelling around and killing stuff, that I could have a drow to share my soul with, my memories. But he don’t seem to be very interested. I guess its just too overwhelming now. I never get to tell him, but about the whole living in a house thing.. I got to think of it a few days before Anoruch, while I was falling asleep in a tree… I like the forests, my glades and ponds, the animals, the sounds, the smell the whole feeling. Im not a “civilized” creature, beds are all too soft. And ugh! Living in a city… the ugly smell, all the people and the lack of animals and vegetation. But I really love Cym still…

[Niles09]

- Wolfswood

I talked with Cym about the house, he really surprised me, he nearly sounded like it was the most natural thing in the world that he would live with me wherever. It surprised me, cause Ive never expected such of a person that have grown up in a house.. or at least I suppose he have, anyway I was very happy by his commitment. We will live in the woods and in the house.

Thereafter we went to Krandor to collect the last coins for the house. Unluckily the estate woman in Pranzis also wanted something called “insurance”, so we will need a bit more. We found a nice place anyway, by the lake in Pranzis close to the wood. Talked some more, really made me happy.

Oh, and a “funny” thing. While we spoke about where we should live, in Hlint, we spoke in drow. I couldn’t help but hear some brackets of a discussion some other people nearby had. One of them said something like he wondered what foul things we were plotting. We didn’t plot anything but how to best be together.

I miss the sun.

[Niles09]

- Pranzis
  So me and Cym live together now. The house is a nice little place, a bit empty though, we would need some furniture. As he showed me around we came to a complete empty room, "I was thinking we could place some bunkbeds in there" he said - I still have a hard time beleiving how good my life has turned out! The house is a quite place to live, there isnt so much to do when Cym isnt around, but then I have good time to look around in the big forests of Dregar.
  Besides from the house we live in Siewood too, those portals makes it easy to change place, Anoruch is also a nice place, ecpicially Cym like it. There is something special about sharing my secret glades and ponds with another humanoid, oh and I finally think Leviran have come to completly accept that Cym is my "male" and not him!
  Cym also have an altar in the house... I thought of sending a little prayer to Azatta, asking that things would stay like this - I mean it cant possible hurt.. hmmm but on the other hand, me making a prayer... might be blasphemy! I'll leavepraying to Cym.

[Niles09]

- Sielwood

Ive spend some time for myself deep in Sielwood for the moment. I had nearly forgotten how much I love the forests... The smell, the air, the colours, the sound of the wind in threes, the sound of water running in a brook. The peace. My only company is the simply minded yet very clever animals. Leviran has been a wonderful companion, seems to understand me. I cant understand how they can do that. They say they kill the animals in self defence, blames the animals for attacking. I cant believe they jugde animals equally to ogres and goblins. I keep warning them entering the wolves territory, cause it will freighten the wolves and ultimatly end in death. But they dont care, even though they are supposed to be good.

[Niles09]

- Grey Peaks

I took Mille to Dregar to show her a few tricks I could in combat like hiding... Didn't went very good! I got owerwhelmed by a dwarf, tried to tell Mille to go away but she kept attacking with her sword, so when I badly wounded jumped into the shadows the dwarf chobbed her down. It went better from that point tough.
We ran into Cym too. I think it was obvious for us both things didn't go really well, and I just left. In Prants me and Mille encountered Rain and Ash. Rain showed us his house and kids. Ash told me that she had ended it with Nepp... So at that point I got a really bad feeling in my stomach... I didn't want it to go that way with me and Cym. I left in a rush and found Cym at the big lake.
I had a long talk with him. He said he had alot on his mind at the moment, though I think I made it clear what was wrong. I told him that he could always count on me to support him in whatever was burdering him, and what kind of support he had been for me. Cym told me about some goblin problem involving Storold, that funny enough also came by. Though I was too tired to concentrate at that point.
Later however Storold told me what was wrong. He said he had found a scared goblin at Haven. It was from a good clan in Sielwood which had been captured by the ogres in Haven and used as slaves and.... torture. I was glad Storold came to me though, cause he said I and Cym was one of the few that didnt have any prejustice about races.

Ive taken up traveling again. Im trying to map Mistone. I had a long trip alone, from Hlint to broken - Fort Hope, a quick trip into Silent watch - sword rust mountains, the bloody desert and back to Hlint. A few days later I mapped Grey Peaks.

[Niles09]

*For the next several years, the journal is rarely used. In the start Zan havent adventured at all appearently. Only other thing of interest is her worry, when Cym didn't return home for several months. The last entry describes her joy when he return, dated a year earlier than the point of the following entry..*
  This wasn't how things was supposed to go. How many years is it? Five, seven? We've been engaged like forever. I remember I barely couldn't beleive how good things was, and would be... Pff you've been fooled again Zan.
  And Im really tired of it.