Izzy's Chaotic Thoughts

[666hellspawn]

I'm not feeling well lately. Maybe its the thing with the Lich thats getting to me still, or maybe its...something else.
I have more and more trouble controlling my anger, i have to control it, she can help me. But she doesn't trust me it seems. I should not even be around her and her sister, not after what i did. I can tell myself she is dead and burried, but is she? Can i really bury her for good if i wanted to? why am i , how i am? She can never know, i leave again if needs be....

I need a trainer, who can teach me to fucus and not let rage control me. I heard wren is still alive, maybe i can find him and ask him to be my teacher. Or maybe Barion, but he is always so busy. It never hurts to ask.

its been two days since we destroyed that device and finally i feel this emptiness within me go away. I doubt i seen the last of this lich. He must be very angry to say the least, but from what i understand they are angry all the time. Best not to think about it too much.

I am glad i made friends like blacky and hunty and the others, but it also scares me, sometimes i wonder if its not better for me to be alone, No harm can come to them that way.
This morning i saw one of them. i don't think he recognized me. I don't wanna go back there ...ever.

i got a note from her *smiles a bit while writing* she wrote i need to remind her about someting...so she can tell me someting. I have no clue what thats all about, but i know soon enough i guess.

[666hellspawn]

deaders everywhere...lich, vampires. I know some Toranites find morbid pleasure fighting those things. I just hate them. Attacking me and my friends. Abi almost became one, but we put a stop to it, for now... soon we will hunt her down, kick open every tomb and thrash the place untill we find her and then get het sorry little butt out in the sun so she can get a nice tan.

the experience with that rod, and especially its destruction left me somewhat depressed. I've seen the future. I seen what it holds. I hope someone stops him. This is not a world i wanna live in, The Screams...the screams of all beings, i heard them all at once.

handsome.....not said out of politeness "what a handosme looking bag you have there". No no...not like that. Said out of instinct, without thinking...like lust...could it be? No i can think like that. but can i ignore it?

Soon my training starts, i boldly asked B and he said he would. Hope the old man can keep up with me. Wonder how he controlss his anger...maybe he doesn't have an anger inside him like me. What then?...we'll see i guess

[666hellspawn]

training started,..darn i have to learn alot. The handling of my sword gets better and better, but i greatly lack the insight. My anger makes me rush into battle and thats definately not a good thing. I need to learn more about this. Where to stand, how to position yourself and stuff like that. Its boring stuff but it keeps you alive i guess.

[666hellspawn]

last days i have been out with a group and again it was a learning experience. A whole ned approach toward battle. Make it black as night and then rush whats in there. Its a magic thing. I don't really understand how it works but somehow i could see in the darkness and killing was easy enough. Besides this all handling my blade got better and better. sword and girl getting one.

I havent seen her in days...weeks. I hope i didn't do anything to upset her, she is my friend, i like her. I ...i..even...
Hope she is alright

[666hellspawn]

*decapitates the target dummy in anger after training with her sword for some hours, an somewhat disturbed look on her face. She throws her sword into the archery target and sits on the floor. She takes out her little book and start writing*

Who is she talking about...Should i be happy or not. Is it me or am i imagening things?.... yeah yeah, family, friends ect...i know all this...how can't you not know for sure...
Who is she talking about?

haven't seen my teacher in ages, so i am training by myself. I think i am improving bigtime, my anger i can control more and more, soon i am ready....soon

*she takes out her sword and resumes training*

[666hellspawn]

*giggles and laughs*
she was talking about me...that makes me happiest girl...izzy is happy, couldn't be more happy...well i could...didn't see her in a few days now, izzy been to busy again training...
must find a good way to spend time with her and train at the same time...like last time in the desert...that was a good trip..training and hunty by my side..then life can't get better.

*smiles as he puts her book away again*