Melanna Jin'Daern - To Master the Greatsword

[Nehetsrev]

Seplar 2, 1407

Blast that wool-headed fool of a man!  Just when I was beginning to actually think I liked him as a friend he turns out to be of the same murderous heart as so many others!  The nerve of him to suggest I don't know honor!  Honor is based upon the execution of justice and fairness with all!  It's based upon a respect for life, all life!  How is it justice to execute someone for a crime they haven't yet committed?  Yet these bloodthirsty fools insist on seeking out those they deem enemies and striking them down before any crime has been proven.  The need to kill is defined in the present, not the past, and not the future.  It is in the pressent that a being either attacks and shows dishonor and the need to be killed, or refrains from bloodshed and proves themselves just.  Deeds of the past are past, and a being could have found redemption for them.  Deeds of the future cannot be judged because no one can see the future for certain.  Be ready to fight, yes, but always, always, always offer your oponent the chance to avoid fighting!  How is it honorable to take revenge upon those who did not attack for the actions of those who did attack?

I wanted to shout at him, I wanted to lecture him, but I could sense his ears unwilling to listen, set in his erroneous ways...  So I left.  I even left Elohanna, and that I am ashamed of.  I was so angered I stormed into Hlint without care to even hide my distaste.  And when my anger broke I cried alone by the pond.  How could he be that way when he seemed so good?  Why can I not find friends who value life as I do?  Why do I feel like a blasted zealot?

I hate people!  No matter how good they seem they always let you down.

[Nehetsrev]

Seplar 13, 1407

Things seem to be going somewhat to plan.  And other things may not be as bad as I wrote before.  I'll start with those I guess.  I must be carefull to reign in my quick judgement with people in general, it only causes grief it seems.  I spoke with Daniel when he came to apologize, I tried to help him see truth the way I do, but I think him too set in his ways still.  But he did at least listen, somewhat.

Perhaps I have become something I detest, a zealot of a sort, but not for any god.  None-the-less, how can I walk in peace when I am in conflict with myself?  I would wish to see all peoples live with respect for one another, and work peacefully together for the common good.  Such are my ideals, but I know people are not able to govern themselves so well all of the time, or indeed any measure close to most of the time.  I would wish to see each individual regardless of race or religion judged for their own actions alone, and given opportunity to choose to live a good life rather than being slain for crimes they personally did not commit without fair judgement or chance of redemption.  These are ideals planted in my heart by Ruvan, before I ever knew their meaning fully.  It is because people always ultimately fall short of these ideals that I find myself enraged at thier actions and attitudes.  I try my best to live the way I see as right, but even I am not able to stand up and do what is right much of the time.  Another side of me wishes to take the easy route, and slay without question as others do.  Indeed, it would be easier to get along with folks such as Lillian and Daniel who think they do good without realizing that their actions only propagate further violence and injustice.

Ruvan taught me to use the blade is a responsibility...to wield any power is such...so great a responsibility that we must weigh our actions before we take a life, for once a life is taken it oft cannot be returned.

In other matters, a course is set, the docks of decision left behind with seas of action ahead.  Today, after briefing Lord Rodor with our report of our findngs regarding the missing wagons, and livestock, and the pressence of the new Gnoll clan, we went to the Haven Mines to seek out Glurgle.  The plan has become to enlist the aid of the Ogres of the Haven Mines to help remove the Gnoll threat so that they themselves may move into the forrest.  Glurgle called his friends to himself and they agreed to this course of action, but explained first that the whole tribe must be unified.  With that he gave orders to his followers to begin waging war against the other Ogres of the mines, they will seek peace under Glurgle's leadership or be put down.  Glurgle made it clear this was not our war to fight, and bade us wait outside the mines for the outcome.  I hope he and his followers are successful in untiing the tribe.  I hope then that the Gnolls can be removed from the Sielwood, the Ogres moved there to live peacefully, and the mines returned to production for the Haven community.

Unfair to the Gnolls, perhaps, but they seem unwilling to negotiate peace, and have even made a full-scale attack on Haven while most of our party were in the mines.  Muireann and Valaria stayed behind, perhaps in disagreement with our plan of action, but I am thankful anyway since they were there to protect the townsfolk, and to protect our retreat from the mines.

Glurgle mentioned a Gnoll had been seen in the mines perhaps a week past, and I believe the Gnolls may be planning to lay siege and take the mines and Haven for themselves.  I hope that Glurgle and his followers are strong enough in number to help turn back such attack if it happens.  Perhaps I place too much faith into my hopes and this will all end in even greater tragedy than the current status of things encompasses.  Yet now it is too late to turn back our actions.  The sea of action must be weathered until the other shore is reached or we perish in the journey.  If this gambit fails, I will be in disgrace, and labeled perhaps a traitor to society.  If it succeeds, I may be hailed as a hero, though I do not wish for that either.  I simply wish a better world for all.

[Nehetsrev]

Oclar 1, 1407

Upon hearing the town cryer in Hlint announce the goblins in the are becomming a larger problem, I joined others at a meeting in the courthouse to see what was being done about the problem.  Officer Garrent informed us that a new tribe of goblins was threatening to replace the goblins of the Red Light Caves outside Hlint.  These new goblins were not only tougher and more skilled in combat, but some could wield necromantic magic and other spells of death.  They had been traced back to a cave behind a waterfall up in the Grey Peaks, and Garrent also informed us that the overlord of the Red Light Goblins had shared information that some sort of stone tablet was what was giving the new goblins their powers.  Rather, Garrent explained, the tablet was magicly corrupting the goblins, and it was also feared the same would happen to the ogres in the area.  Another group had already been dispatched to investigate the cave in the Grey Peaks, but it was learned they were in dire need of reinforcements.  We were sent with haste to reinforce the first group, destroy the tablet, and return to report to Garrent when it was finished.

With my prior knowledge of the land up in the Grey Peaks I found myself taking command of the group, though my advice was oft found ignored by those too impatient to wait and develop sound tactics.  Those hasty ones quickly learned to respect my advice, the hard way, as some fell not far into our venture.  We were met with a fair amount of resistance as we made our way up into the mountains, though oddly we saw no ogres along the way, only the 'corrupted' goblins.  Finally we came to the area of the waterfall, and just in time bring relief to the advance party.  After we slew the waves of attacking goblins and the rest fled back into the cave, I quickly sought out the man named Roy as Garrent had instructed me to, and I explained why we'd been sent.  I asked him what more he could tell me of the situation, but there was not much left for him to tell.

Finally, we entered the caves and battled our way downward, encountering a couple of magicly warded and trapped doors along the way.  The further we went, the more we could feel the effects of the tablet trying to corrupt us as well.  Indeed, one among us on two seperate occasions began attacking others in our group.  In the end we had to restrain him for everyone's safety.  Ultimately our journey brought us into a huge underground chamber where we found the last of the goblins surrounding the stone tablet.  We charged them and began attacking, slaying all but the overlord who seemed impossible to harm.  Our tactics changed to destroying the stone while keeping the goblin overlord at bay.  One among us channeled a vast amount of magical energy into the stone, I am told, shattering it to dust.  Quickly after the goblin overlord fell and we rested before returning to town to report to Garrent of what had been accomplished.

I witnessed the strange markings on the 'corrupted' goblins first hand, butI do not know if they bear any relation to the markings upon the Gnolls of the new clan we found deep within the Sielwood while investigating the disappearence of the wagonload of weapons bound for Haven.  Indeed, Elohanna told me of another attack on Haven by the Gnolls that occured just today.  Still, there has been no word from Glurgle or the other friendly Ogres, so I must conclude their civil war still rages below the ground within the mines, or that he and his followers have lost their fight.  I hope sincerely that they are still fighting strong and will emerge victorious and in good enough shape to help us remove the Gnoll threat.

[Nehetsrev]

Oclar 8, 1407

Spirits were sighted within the Haven Mines.  I went with a very large group to investigate them further.  We put to rest the spirits and then pressed further into the mines only to run across Glurgle and some of his friends.  We informed Glurgle of the spirits and he stated he had not known of them previously.  I also asked if there had been any more Gnolls in the mines, and he repiled that he had not been given any reports of them being there.  The origin of the spirits remains a mystery.  They were in the area of the cells on the 2nd level of the mines, so they could have been the spirits of those tormented in the cells at one time, or they may have been summoned by one of the chieftains shaman, or by the Gnolls whom I believe also have an interest in the mines.

In bringing this large group into the mines for this investigation, I feel that many will now prove to be dependable allies in the service of Haven, and it's denizens, Ogres and other folk alike.  Indeed, many with me gave food and money to donate to helping Glurgle's Ogres and the defense of Haven from the Gnoll threat.  I shall have to see the money entrusted to Lord Rodor as soon as possible, and the food brought to Glurgle and his group.

People still annoy me, but I am grateful that at least some have begun to listen rather than mock.

[Nehetsrev]

Jenra 9, 1408  -  Beginning of the end?

I sit here for a moment between the battle in which many of our number just fell, and our discussion to decide what next step to take.  The situation is grim at pressent and I fear I have failed the common folk of Haven, and perhaps all of Mistone.  Haven has fallen to the Gnolls.  We think the Keep is still intact, but it likely cannot hold for long.  Our scout, Uiliam, reports the town is over-run with Gnolls and that they've captured and beaten Pyyran to near death.  The mines are also now filled with Gnolls.

The only possible bright side to the situation is that Glurgle's Ogres won against the old regime under their former chieftain.  The former chieftain had even stooped to taking Gundle as hostage, and we went with Glurgle to see him challenge the chief and save his son.  With the last of opposition removed, the remaining Ogres left Haven with us to assualt the Gnoll camp.  We arrived only to find it abandoned by the Gnolls who had snuck away to lay siege to Haven in our absence.  If only ihad been more adamant in leaving a larger force behind to defend Haven it might still be in our hands...  and here in is where I failed the people.

We returned with haste to Haven, but forgot to call the Ogres to follow with us.  I had assumed that they would, but instead they stayed at the Gnoll camp.  I shall try to talk the others into returning to bring the Ogres back with us to Haven, but they do not seem willing any longer to listen to me.  I couldn't even find the beaten path to the Gnoll camp when I tried to fetch the Ogres myself, so poor are my tracking skills.  I will have to learn to improve them as I can.

While I was lost in the woods, the others captured a large black stone from one of the Gnolls.  It appears to be what gives them their markings and allows them to fade from sight at will.  I think perhaps it may be linked also with whatever power might be behind the Gnolls, and voiced such to empty ears it would seem.  The one called Thorn carries the stone at pressent, and he seems intent on attempting to infiltrate Haven himself using it's powers.  We have managed for the moment to talk him out of it, but who knows how long common sense will prevail?  Perhaps we should bring the stone to Spellguard to have it examined by the mages there?  We ourselves were not able to discern much from it.

I feel almost ready to give up, but that would not help the people of Haven, and I know it.  I suppose I will have to exercise my authoritative nature again and bring the group to order once more if I can.  I still have no idea how we might re-take Haven now, even with the help of Glurgle and the other friendly Ogres.  The Gnolls simply appear too numerous and too well organized.

[Nehetsrev]

Novlar 12, 1410

Well, it ended some days ago with a huge and brilliant magical symbol in the skies over Haven.  We defeated a shadow being that had been posessing the Gnolls that occupied Haven so briefly and yet wrought terrible devastion in their time.  The remaining Gnolls went to refuge in the Haven Mines, unfortunately, and there were too many for us to drive out.  So, at the same time I have achieved a victory in moving out the peace-seeking Ogres under Glurgle's chieftainship, I have suffered a defeat in the results of my actions neither freeing up the mines for use nor greatly benefitting the Haven community.  Indeed, it would appear my quest has brought more harm to Haven and it's common folk than if I had never dared to dream of it to begin with.  This burden will always weigh heavy upon my heart, for in essence I have in this instance failed the people whom I serve.

I will not give up, ever.  I may have failed in this, but it is not a total failure, and I know there was little way I could have forseen the circumstances with the Gnolls going the way they did.  Even had we elected to keep a force at Haven while the rest went to the Gnoll camp, we would not have been sufficient to hold Haven against their host... We did not know at that time of the shadow creature controling them, nor how to defeat it.  It was by a miracle that we even managed to capture the very stone of power the being sought and learned to use it against him.  Another miracle still that Muireann was able to finish the spell to banish the shadow-being even after it tore her arm and leg off and killed me outright for attempting to attack it with my ineffectual adamantium greatsword...and that Elohanna had the insight to order the stone be smashed to save us all.

By my own vow, I owe Mist a donation of ten-thousand Trues which I will bring to her temple and then pressent the receipt to Muireann when next I see her.  Of course, I'm not exactly sure where Mist's closest temple is, so I'll have to ask around.  Perhaps that Songbird will know?  I believe he sails the seas oft enough that he ought to.  I owe him a telling of the tail as well, so perhaps I can get him to loosen his lips in some regards for me.

My service to the common folk goes on.  I've heard of some trouble with goblins around Hlint, I'll check into that next I suppose.

[Nehetsrev]

//This spot reserved for the telling of the events of the 'Goblin's Revenge' quest series.

[Nehetsrev]

Junar 16, 1410

Just a few days ago it happened again.  I died on the field of battle in an attempt to harvest mahogany in the Thunder Peaks and the Soul Mother came for tea.  Well, perhaps not for tea.  She took yet another strand from my soul, and now I have but one more such strand left to me.  The next time I fall could very well be my last, but then again, as fickle as the Soul Mother can be she may allow me to die many many more times than that before taking my last strand.  But I am forced to consider my mortality very carefully now.

I have always known my life would end, and so dying is not something I fear.  I fear dying without having left the world a better place than it was before my service to the people began.  I must consider, have I lead a life that has brought good change to the people?  Or has it all been waste?  Sadly I think the later to be more close to the truth, for I cannot put my finger on any one thing I've accomplished for the good of the people at this point.  Indeed, I did lead a campaign to relocate the ogres of the Haven Mines, only to have them supplanted by Gnolls who terrorized Haven in their stead.  I also helped defend Hlint and the surrounding areas from the transformed goblins, taking up my role in destroying the tablets which had perverted them.  Indeed, I have also donated countless weapons and armors of my own making to relief efforts in Roldem, and to the Princess Kayana Memorial in efforts to ensure that local millitias are well outfitted to stand against the new dangers arising in their realms.  But what of my goal to one day see Pranzis restored to the freedoms it once held?  No progress have I made in that regard, my once home still stands a monument to tyranny of a quiet kind that looks good from without despite the blackness underneath the polished surface much of the world sees.

Yet here I am forced to consider my own end which could come swiftly the very next time I go to fight for the good of the people as I see it.  I suppose I should write a will and testament now, so that those who know me may distribute the things I have accumulated the way that I wish them to be distributed.  Not that I have accumulated much in my time, my very short time since leaving home some 5 or 6 years ago.

----------  Last Will & Testament of Melanna Jin'Daern (as of Junar 16th, 1410) ----------
Any gold within my bank account I wish donated to the betterment of the Haven community, to help rebuild the town after the invasion of the Gnolls.

My weapons and armors then, I wish to be donated to the Roldem Relief, for such things should be put to good use in aid of the common folk.

Any crystal rods, lumps of coal, or bags of sand and such that may be on my person or within the storage of my room in Omer's home at 118 Fort Llast I wish for those to go to Omer, for being a friend to me despite my inability to act friendly much of the time.

Any jewelry, gems or minerals, gold or silver nuggets and ingots, or blank scrolls or parchements, I may have with me or in stores at Omer's home I wish to go to Elohanna.  Likely these things were collected for her to begin with as well, in honor of the close bond we share, she my scrawny Elf who I ever sought to protect and who I grew to love like a sister.  My hope is that she will use them to continue to make those fine and delicate pieces of jewelry of which my eyes ever looked upon with admiration, much as I admire her for being the jewel that she is.

Lastly, I would request that word of my death be brought to the Ogre Glurgle, friend and chief of those Ogres who moved from the Haven Mines to a better place within the Sielwood.  With the word of my death I wish he to be given a supply of blank parchment and charcoal writing sticks, and upon one scroll I wish penned to him the words, "Love Thy Neighbors.  How you treat them today will determine how they view you in the future."  He may not be able to read the words himself, so when pressented it should be read to him.  If Glurgle himself has passed, I wish these things be given to the one among them they call Healer, as he will likely appreciate them in Glurgle's stead.  If both Glurgle and Healer have passed then these gifts should be givne to Gundle, Glurgle's son.

[Nehetsrev]

Mar 15, 1411

I've been lax in my duty to the common folk lately.  Instead of being out there serving them, I have been focussing instead on my own human frailty.  Indeed, I mostly stay 'home' and keep to my room these days, with the occasional short-lived trip to Hlint or a tavern to hear some music or stories.  I wonder what Songbird thinks of me now?

Bah!  I hate this.  Why am I so afraid now to die?  I never was before.

It's humorous I think...  I walked a ways with Muireann to the temple of Mist in Lellion so I could make the offering I promised.  We actually got along, and talked at great length.  I wouldn't say we're exactly friends just yet, or that we ever will be, but we understand eachother I think and there's some shared respect between us.  At least I feel I respect her more than I first did, even if I don't agree with her principals.

I haven't seen Elohanna in a while...  To be honest with myself, I think I'm hiding from her in a way.  It hurts me deeply to think that the next time I die I may be leaving her for good.  I think if she sees me less before I go, it will be easier for her to go on without me.

I'm not ready to leave yet...  Before I knew I could die for the people and never flinch at it... but now I wonder if I've missed the point of life.  I haven't really lived for myself ever...  I've purposely shunned people to avoid familiarity that might lead to ...more.  Maybe I should try to learn to love someone before I go?  And I'm still so young, it seems too soon to die and be gone.  Maybe I have more to offer the wo...  more to offer myself than life behind the blade.

Indeed, the fine adamantium greatsword that Lillian gave me the ore to make sits cold on my weapon's rack these days.  All my swords are there together, unused and useless as I myself have become in my fear of death.

[Nehetsrev]

Mai 28, 1411 - Three Cards

Well, that was an intersting night last night.  I read a flyer saying the Lellion Arms would be open and knowing that I'd likely find Songbird there, I decided to go for a night of entertainment, and maybe other possibilities...

Okay, so I made a bit of a fool of myself obviously flirting with the Songbird all dressed up in my pretty blue dress.  How was I to know he was already spoken for by that other woman?  He'd never mentioned it to me, not that I'd asked or that it would have been any of my business.  Indeed, he could have at least made it evident earlier in the evening though.  It's not as though he didn't flirt back some.  I saw how he looked at me in my dress.  He even called me, "Princess."  If I weren't seeking his attentions I'd have likely slapped him for that.  I wonder if that woman of his would mind if I borrowed him for a bit of 'sparring' anyway?  It's not as though I'm in love with him, I just wanted to experience ...  Well he strikes me as one with a lot of experience in bed.  Anyway, if the cards are right it's for the best I didn't gain those attentions of his, or any other man's.

About those cards...  I could sense the artful craft behind that woman's 'reading', Miss Kali.  Bah!  She's good.  I'm still wondering a little if it was more than just a trick done for entertainment.  Those three cards did seem to apply more than I'd have liked, but I wasn't about to let that show.  Or did I?  Anyway I'll write about the 'reading' just to remember it better so I can laugh again later on.

The first card, repressenting something from the past, was 'The Heirophant', upside-down in relation to myself.  The picture on the card shown a male elf with slighlty greenish skin, his hair is full of brambles and small animals all about him as he leaned on a tall walking stick.  She spoke of it saying, "When ill dignified, or reversed such as this...  The card represents several things of a person's past...  Most importantly though it represents misleading or dubious advice, and .. poor counsel.  Sometimes it is unconventionality and rejection of "family" values so to speak.  It would seem that somthing in your past reflects this...  It also represents the distortion of truth surrounding this past.."  I told her how my parents neglected me while I grew up.  It seemed to me the most applicable interpretation of the card.

The second card was then turned, repressenting the pressent in relation to the context of the first card.  She said as she turned it, "The second card is the present days that surround you.  It will show somthing in your present that is tied to this distorted past.."  The card turned shown a great Dragon centered on the front, the image, with outspread wings took up the entire card.  There was a slight magical aura around him, making him magnificent and godlike.  Again the card was upside-down to me.  "Rofirein," she began to explain,"In this orientation he represents Injustice.  Inequality and bias....  Delay. or  imbalance even.  unfair or delayed judgement.  Either you waited until the present to judge somthing from your past, or you judge it unfairly... It could mean that your present is full of unjustice, stemming from this past."  I jumped to the thought that she was going to try to tell me I should forgive my parents because I was unfairly judging them or something, and told her point blank that I would never forgive them.  She turned the card slighlty as if considering it further.  "I'm saying that it is possible that the poor council, or lack of values in the past that you were suroounded by could be causing.... mmm a lack of judgement or poor judgement on silmilar things in the present."  So she was making me to blame it sounded.  Not a surprise since I usually rub most folks wrong I thought.


So she reached out to turn over the third card and said, "The third and final card.  One of a glimse into the things that have yet come to pass."  The image on the card had a striking resemblence to Allurial, she had beautiful blue robes with golden trim and a crown lighlty upon her head.  "The Queen," Kali proclaimed, and once more this card was also upside-down to me.  "And so what future does this card speak of?," I asked in challenge.  She answered unperturbed, with a nod, "Your future remains much the same, at least when it comes to this path.  The queen card in this orientation represents Possible domestic problems, financial difficulties, lack of affection and achievement.  Possible problems with relationships leading to promiscuity and if your not careful this card often fortells of an unwanted pregnancy."  I had to chuckle at that and I added, "Yes, well most people annoy me.  So relationships would be a problem.  Though I have been looking for a good man to bed lately."  She smirked at that and went on, "Should you wish to fix that, you will have to rewalk the past, and consider that in your present.  It seems that it is indeed perhaps the unfair judgement of something that leads you to this.. future.  Unless you want yourself a child.. I would not rush into things..," she paused to point at the Queen card again, "But.. Thats just what the cards tell me to say."  Then she winked.  How could I answer but truthfully?  I said, "No, a child would not be good.  I'll be dying soon enough I'm sure."  Then, scooping up the cards off the table and stacking them into the deck once more she nodded slighlty, looking at me in an almost peculiar manner and said, "I hope you will consider what you heard tonight.  But that is all I can say for now.. "  It almost seemed like she knew more than she was letting on, but I paid her her dues anyway and went on my way, playing the whole thing off as just a spot of entertainment.

Truth is, I felt like the cards really hit some things dead on about me.  My head says it's all just a parlor trick, but I can't help but wonder.  I was set to start enjoying life for myself some, and would have even bedded the Songbird for a bit of enjoyment...  But I can't afford to bring a child into the world.  I wouldn't want my child if I had one to grow up unloved as I did, and with my death imminent and my feelings of duty still calling to me, I know I could never be a proper mother.  So, I guess that sort of enjoyment is not to be had for me.  Maybe I can find another way to live for myself...

And then there's Elohanna.  I as much told Eghaas I've been purposely distancing myself from her lately.  Not because I don't love her friendship, but because I feel that if she forgets about me before my passing, the news of it will come as less of a blow to her.  Now I question myself.  Is it really best for her, or is it my own pain I seek to avoid?  I've lived my life alone, pushing people away at every turn.  I don't know if I could change that even if I wanted too now.  Perhaps the last card is right, and I will end with lack of affection or achievement and be forgotten.  Maybe I'm already forgotten by this world, never having been so much as a faint memory even to my parents.

Indeed, likely so.

[Nehetsrev]

Oclar 4, 1411

Well, while the cards might not be able to truly predict the future, a bit of reason can conclude that I almost made some big mistakes, and the cards did help open my eyes to that in their way.

First off, I've always been aware I'm not the best with other people, and friendships especially.  So, after some more thought I've decided that though I may have convinced myself I was staying away from Elohanna for her good, the truth is I was running from my own fear of death and even more fearful to me, loss of her friendship.  Loath as I am to admit the scrawny Elf is indeed the closest thing to a sister, or even to family that I've had my whole life.  Even Ruvan drew the bounds of our relationship at instructor and wise council, perhaps friend.  I viewed him almost as a father, and he was more of one to me than my own had ever been, but still not what a father should be entirely.

My duty to the people calls, and I will no longer let it go unanswered.  If I die today, or tomorrow, it doesn't matter to me anymore.  It doesn't matter if I make any impact at all in the world, or if I never see Pranziz free from Broegar in my lifetime, whatever may be left of it.

Likewise, my duty to myself also remains.  I am determined to find enjoyment in the time I have left.  I am determined also to try to learn more of things I was never taught of friendship and maybe even social grace.  Above all, I will seek to judge fairly my own worth, because I am highly valued by those few who know me well enough.  This was evidenced in my talk with Elohanna today as she brought up name after name of people who have missed my pressence of late, and who she said worried for me.  Indeed, my parents instilled in me a lie I have yet to truly overcome, and they taught me that I was worth nothing by their own acts of ignoring me and their twisted sense of what brings value to life.  Perhaps this is the misjudgement the cards spoke of, that I misjudge my own value bacause of the way my parents neglected me.

Elohanna has a cause to free the world of slavery.  It is a lofty goal she may never truly reach, but it is a worthy goal and I will support her in it.  Slaves are people too, though the slavers would devalue them just as my own parents devalued me, and moreso.

May I serve the people to my last breath.

[Nehetsrev]

Febra 28, 1412

Well, it's been months since my last journal entry.  I still have received no word in return from Lord Rodor of Haven Keep regarding my idea to further strengthen relations between ourselves and Glurgle's tribe of Ogres.  Perhaps I'll send a second letter to the Lord of the Keep.  I feel that I would at least like a response, even if it is not the one I'd prefer to hear.

In other events, I find myself examining my own life and finding it somewhat empty.  I've been alone all my life, and I cannot understand why I wish for more than that now.  I don't want to marry, and I don't want a child, or do I?  My feelings seem clear but there is still a yearning for some form of closer copanionship in my life.  I talked for some time with Elohanna about such when I bumped into her at Lake Rilon.  I count her my closest fiend, but in truth I distance my self even from her in many ways.  Deep down I know she's right, I am someone special, but I can't seem to convince myself of that ever.

I feel in some ways my expertise is slipping.  I offered to help another friend, Amireana, to retrieve yet one more bottle of that Oil of Vukas that Jaunita lost up in the Greypeaks.  We were well on our way there when we were caught by surprise by the Ogres in an ambush.  We both fell.  I should have been able to handle the Ogres on my own.  I went back alone to prove to myself i could do it, and I did succeed in acquiring the bottle of oil.  It was fortunate that I bumped into Amireana on my way back out of the mountains, she looked as though she were about to try for the oil by herself once more, and I know for certain she is not yet skilled enough for such a venture.  She told me she had even been back with some other woman and they'd both fallen to the Ogres as well.  That explained the remains I saw on my way to retrieve the oil myself.

Gods!  I wish I could escape these urges that plague me.  It seems I cannot help but lust after men lately, especially Songbird.  His lady won't share him though, so I suppose I am fortunate.  I enjoy spending time with him though.  He's handsome, cute and witty, and not half-bad with a sword either.  His song enchants me and inspires me to greater skill with my own blade, but those moments of inspiration only last so long.  Curses upon those cards!  I wish they'd never opened my eyes so fully.  Still, it is good they did.  I cannot afford to have a child, can I?  Blast!  I've even had thoughts of Pyyran, Daniel, and Benjamin, failing that I bed the Songbird which is of course unlikely to happen.  It's good I haven't seen any of them lately.

[Nehetsrev]

Mar 24, 1412

Confused now more than ever.  I don't understand exactly how it happened.  I'm not even sure about how I feel about it quite either.  There we were in the hallway and I just did it.  How can such feelings be so strong and I so weak as to lose control like that?  Though, truly, I did feel so much better for a time after we talked and he fell asleep holding me.  And then Omer walked in and I had to explain.  I'm not sure I did a good enough job explaining though since I still don't understand it all myself.  After that I took him to my room, thinking it better for him than to sleep and awaken on the hard floor of the hallway.  I left him a note too, so he wouldn't wonder when he woke, about how he'd gotten there or what may have happened while he slept.  He must have been really tired as I don't think he even stirred at all as I carried him from the hallway.

I don't even know what I want or expect for certain.  Yet I almost felt as though I were asking him to leave her for me.  And he almost seemed as though he would if I did ask him too.  I don't want to break his heart if I do figure this out and find that I don't want to be with him that way...  He's already had it broken enough by others.

I hate my parents!  This confusion is all their fault!  I should go back and confront them, make them care for once about me, their daughter.  Make them see who I've become even without their love.  Maybe then I will believe it myself, that I'm a person of worth as my friends keep telling me I am.

Curse the Soul Mother and curse those accursed cards!

[Nehetsrev]

//OOC - The following is a narrative of Melanna's final moments alive in Layonara, as such it's not an actual entry in her journal like most other posts in her CDT are. She was a fun character to play while she lasted, and I'll miss playing her.//
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Mai 11, 1412

Melanna walked down the road from Hlint toward Fort Llast. Her eyes searched every shadow of evey tree and rock as she passed, remembering all too well a past experience on this very road that had lead to the loss of a piece of her soul. That had been the eight time the Soul Mother had yanked a part of her away. She'd lain in a pool of her own blood after stumbling into an ambush of murderous rogues and mercenaries that took her completely off guard. She cursed herself every time she passed this way for being so careless on that eve some year or two ago.

Tonight the road was empty. There were no bandits to waylay her this time, but her careful eyes searched for them none-the-less. She would not be so careless again, she had resolved. The embarassment of awakening in her room in Omer's home, a dagger left with her by one of her 'saviors', a reminder of her own stupidity in her eyes. She thought she was even more stupid now, for seeing it as such when the fellow who'd given it had intended it to be a comfort. Bridges burned. Her life was full of them it seemed to her now.

And then there was a surprising, confusing, frustrating something that had begun between herself and Daniel. She couldn't even begin to puzzle out her own feelings entirely. Did she love him, or at least want to? Where would such a thing lead? Somewhere she had vowed to herself she would never go, marriage perhaps? What hope did she have of any such thing being who she was? Knowing she only had one last strand of her soul to keep her going?

Yes, she'd lost her eigth strand on the road to Fort Llast. Her ninth was lost in the Thunderpeaks in the lands of Dregar as she went with Freldo, Lillian and Elohanna on a trip to gather mahogany. Losing that piece of herself was almost enough to cause her to lose her will to keep fighting on behalf of the common folk. It had almost been enough to cause her to give up entirely. Then lately she'd begun to have those damnable feelings rising up in her, making her lustful for the company of a man. She guessed it was to do with her realization of her own mortality, and that she had little time left and wanted to find ... something ... before her end. Love, self-worth, family? What that something was that drove her lately she was afraid to know.

She wanted to put those thoughts and feelings behind her for a while, which was why she walked the road home to Fort Llast. She planned stopping at her room to change before heading to the Lellion Arms for a night of hopefully good entertainment. She wondered if she'd see Freldo there, her Songbird as she'd taken to thinking of him. She knew nothing could happen with him because of his lady, which might be the reason why she made such a show of persuing him she pondered. Her thoughts twisted about in the instant and returned to another man. Daniel... She hated to admit how comfortable she'd felt in his arms that night in the hallway. More than the simple lust she'd convinced herself she wanted, there was something in just being held that moved her heart. Her heart wondered if there could be ever more than friendship between them, and she quickly made to squash such thoughts with her mind. There were a number of reasons it couldn't be, she told herself.

Getting her mind back on track she focused again on the night ahead at the Lellion Arms. She hated crowds. People in general still annoyed her to no end, but she'd braved crowds before to hear bards sing or tell stories. That was what she went to such events for, not the people but the culture, the songs, and the stories. Such things were what she fought on behalf of the people for, to preserve the culture for future generations. To preserve the people. She wondered for a few moments as she appoached the door to Omer's home, how might Glurgle and his tribe be fairing in their new home deep within the Sielwood? What works of art were made to preserve their own history? She really hoped his tribe would continue to grow and become a peaceful nation and good neighbors to the other nations of the world. She still had received no reply from Lord Rodor regarding her wishes to continue to act as a liason between Haven and Glurgle's tribe.

Turning her key in the lock, she opened the door and stepped inside. There before her were two men she'd not expected to see, Omer and Daniel. In mid conversation, Melanna entered to hear Daniel saying, "My skill at the loom .." he paused to sigh, "abysmal does not do it justice."

"Hello Daniel, Omer." She smiled at the two, secretly trying to put down the feelings that began to rise at sight of Daniel.

Daniel who still spoke to Omer went on to suggest further, "Mayhap a sheet from a futon eh?" He grinned and the long ends of his moustache tipped upwards to either side of his mouth.

Omer didn't seem to appreciate the jest and he stomped off down the hall saying, "Bah," as he went.

"What's got a bee in his bonnet?," Melanna asked Daniel curiously.

Daniel laughed, smiled, and bowed to Melanna. One word he uttered in response to her question as he returned upright with a smirk, "Toga.."

Melanna was confused for a moment by the word and watched as Omer began to return from down teh hallway. "Indeed?," she querried of Daniel, just before she remembered what Omer and Elohanna had been discussing a night or two before. She focussed on Omer once more, "That's right... Elohanna was going to be taking you to that toga party at the Arms."

"Aye indeed," Daniel began, then raised an eyebrow at Omer himself, "hmm."

"I need to work on the outfit some more," said Omer as he fidgetted with the hem of the toga-like garment he was wearing.

Daniel announced his supposition in regards to Elohanna's feelings for Omer, "She likes you, Master Omer. Tis apparent even to a fool such as I."

"They're friends is all Daniel," Melanna was quick to correct. Noting the way Omer looked into the light of the portal nearby though made her wonder. She turned a significant gaze upon Omer and went on, "At least... that's what I've been lead to believe."

Daniel shrugged, "And whom told me to keep faith in love just days ago in this very spot Miss?"

Omer made exscuse to avoid the conversation further, "I'm off... I'll see you friends later." He hid emotion behind a smile to them both.

Melanna understood, or thought she did. She nodded to her friend, "Farewell Omer."

Daniel then winked and turned to Omer, "Pray go if you must Omer, for if I should fall asleep , Miss Melanna shall carry me to bed once again..." he watched as Omer stepped through the portal then finished, "eh sister?"

"Keep faith in love?," Melanna asked as she looked back at Daniel, quirking an eyebrow at him in the now empty hallway. She couldn't remember saying those words herself, but it had been a very emotional time that night... It could be she may have.

"Aye," he said as he looked into her eyes and smiled wide.

His smile surprised her and she blushed slightly under such admiration as it seemed to her to embody. She tried to hide behind a quick tongue and a light-hearted chuckle, "You're cute when you smile."

Daniel apparently was not to be fooled so much, "No pretense, I beg. I tire of games. Why do you fight your feelings so hard Miss?" His smile faded just a bit as the sincerity of his comment came through in his voice.

Anger rose up in Melanna defensively adding a touch of heat to her retort, "Games? You think I play games?"

Daniel leaned close into her space, "Nay, I think you play games with yourself, trying to deny thy own feelings. Emotion be not a great sword to wield or not wield as you desire."

Her tongue was moved by inground thought born from years of training herself as a warrior. "Bah! Emotion must be controlled or it will bring one to ruin!," she began but her voice quickly softened as she added, "In battle..." and she trailed off. The chaos of emotion inside her churned, and her heart and mind had come to a moment of unity once more as she realized that her rapid conditioned response was not really aplicable to the current conversation in the way it came out.

"Do we fight a battle now, herein M..sister?," Daniel replied challengingly.

Melanna sighed. Her feelings still confounding her in many ways, but she tried to explain, "It is not a game to me in any way Daniel. And yes, for me dealing with these emotions is a battle. I'm sorry I've involved you if it is inconvenient for you." She paused and her mind turned to a question she'd mulled over several times in the past few days, "And what am I supposed to make of this bond?" She held up her still healing hand to show to him the scabs still upon it from where he'd pressed the thorns of a rose into her palm and his own so that their blood would mingle. Blood brother and sister he had announced to her at the time. Her question internally came forth, "Is it not uncouth to love one's relatives romanticly?"

Daniel seemed to ponder her words, then shook his head, "Too long I have dwelled in my own misery, I ignored you at times and I cry thy pardon. Make of it whatever you wish." He smiled, then began, "Mine heart," his smile faded and he sighed, "still belongs to another, but .."

Her tongue began to fly though he wasn't yet finished speaking himself, "I could ask you what you want. A sister or a lover?" She paused briefly as he waited to continue himself, but again she spoke first, "But the question is unfair to you when I don't even know what I myself want."

"I will accept whatever you wish for .. I name you sister first to let you know I care deeply.. more than that ..be up to you," he stated patiently, "If it be simply that we lean on each other as comrades in arms, then so be it. If it be more," he stopped to look at her pointedly, "I would do such for two fold reasons... and they art here in this hall." He ended his statement with a soft smile to her.

Melanna felt for a moment as though she wished to scream, but that was felt deep inside, on the surface she bore calm as she answered, "I don't know what it will be, but I doubt it will be simple." The calm broke for a moment and she grimaced in her frustration, but the grimace was quickly replaced with a smile. She decided it was time she went to do what she came to the home to do, and that was to go change for her intended trip to the Lellion Arms. "Daniel, I need a moment... would you wait in the living room for me and I will be with you shortly." Her tone was businesslike, but not so cold as to push him away.

"Still fighting eh? Good. For I would not expect an easy battle from you," his voice conveyed a deep respect for her. "As you wish," he agreed to her request.

As she turned to walk down the hallway to her room around the corner she uttered a quiet, "Thank you," to Daniel.

She went into her room and closed the door behind her. She hoped the few moments alone would help her calm the storm she felt within herself as she opened her wardrobe and took out her fancy blue dress. She laid it neatly upon her futon for a moment while she took the time to undress out of her under-armor. She realized it was foolish of her to deny any longer that there were some strong feelings she held within herself for Daniel, but she knew also it would be foolish to rush too quickly into anything. At least that's what she told herself. She thought to herself again how foreign love was to her, how she couldn't possibly understand how to deal with it. Or maybe how she simply wasn't worthy of it. She was a warrior, first and foremost, wasn't she? A relative peace she reached as she changed allowed her to exit the room with grace and purpose once more, so she thought.

She rounded the bend and pulled open the door to the living room to step inside and once again face Daniel. As she walked across the room toward him where he sat upon one of the couches facing her, she could hear him gulp loudly and he quickly fumbled to his feet. She looked at the couches arrayed in a rough circle trying to decide whether it would be most appropriate for her to sit on one nearby, or to sit on the same couch next to him, but the fuss he made over her now caught her off-guard and found she could not avoid blushing.

"Milady.. I," he began as he stood there, "am simply stunned."

She looked down at the floor self-consciously, trying to hide the smile spreading across her face. She gracefully sat upon the couch in the spot next to where he had been sitting, still looking downward and hiding the smile. She had never thought herself so beautiful as everyone else seemed to think she was, and such comments always embarrased her somehow.

"So, this be your answer?," Daniel asked with what sounded to be genuine concern in his voice.

Normally she would be upset by anyone calling her 'theirs', but in this instance her mood was such that she answered instead with a bit of playfulness as he himself sat down again beside her, "Firstly, I must remind you, I am not your lady." Her smirk was obvious as she looked up at him.

Daniel smirked back, "Just so."

Melanna returned to more seriousness as she tried to consider again her own feelings churning insde, "But perhaps when I figure out just what I am that could change."

"What you are?," he asked as he looked her up and down with a curious expression, "Mine guess be the most stubborn swordswoman in Mistone.." With that he grinned mockingly and winked.

"I don't know. A confused and frustrated woman, for certain. Beyond that?," she shrugged, then sighed.

Daniel caught her sincerity and added for her, "But a woman none-the-less." He gently took her hand, the one still healing, into his own.

"Indeed," came Melanna's one-word answer to all. Indeed, it was like a companion among words that was always there for her when she called for it. It could answer, it could question, it could boldly state, or subtley alude. Indeed, it was a fine word. In this moment it agreed with a heartfelt consent, that Daniel was right, she was a woman, none-the-less.

Daniel asked next, "Our blood mingled.. Melanna, what does that mean to you?"

"By old traditions that is sign of a close bond, or a way to seal a pact," Melanna began to answer in almost lecturing tones, "The highest form of bond, really." She paused and sighed heavilly before going on to add, "Indeed. Such is even used in some wedding ceremonies. Or so I've been taught by the expensive tutors my parents afforded me with."

Daniel nodded, "And you know I follow the old code to the best of mine ability," he paused, "but I leave the terms to you. Sister or something more." His gaze settled upon her a moment before he commented, "Tis a beautiful dress."

Melanna replied, "Indeed. It seems this dress never fails to draw compliments when I wear it."

"Pray stop a moment and hear my words with this," Daniel began as with his free hand he touched her left breast for a moment before moving his finger to her forehead and adding, "Not this." His hand lingered for a moment more and them he used his finger to slide a forelock of rich red hair away from her temple as his hand returned to his lap.

Melanna sighed, emoting deepfelt feeling, "You truly think I do not hear my own heart?"

"I think that thy head roars louder at times, aye," Daniel answered.

A bit of ire rose within her and quickly subsided, "Hmph. My head is the only thing that makes sense of the chaos down there."

"Truly? I find that only a balance of both can lead to happiness," he spoke again. He continued to add with a sigh, " But by all rights I am naught but a fool."

"Honestly. Confusion, anger, love, fear... They all roar below, they and many more emotions I cannot name," she tried once more to explain herself.

"Pray tell me, which roars loudest to you, right now?" His gaze looked deep into her eyes and she could feel him truly searching her with his own eyes. She felt uncomfortable under that searching look, and would have gladly faced instead a dragon in it's place, she thought to herself.

She couldn't help but to look away as she answered his question, "Fear..." Her voice trailed off and she knew he'd want more to her answer.

Indeed he did press her, "Of?," he asked very softly.

There were too many questions Melnna had not answered yet herself about the deep-seated fears she held within, and tried so well to hide, "Of what I don't know well. Of feelings I've not felt before, nor seen shown toward me. Of many things."

Daniel's hand squeezed her own hand reassuringly. "Then time be the answer for both of us then," he stated as though this should solve everything for her, indeed for them both.

Melanna pondered it for a breath or two before she responded, "Perhaps." Another pause held her tongue at bay a moment more before she went on, "Though I fear too, not knowing what time I may have left to find the answer. Or perhaps I fear dying before I've found the answer."

Daniel pulled on her arm, leaning back a bit against the couch, and offering his shoulder to her to rest her head on. She didn't budge for that moment, but he spoke as he did so, "Just so, neither do I, but what time I do have..," his voice trailed off.

The door of the living room had opened and Omer strode in interupting their solitude. He looked at them together on the couch and smiled.

Melanna looked back at him from across the room, "Hello Omer."

Daniel also greeted him with a shrug, "Well met friend."

"Hello hello," he said as he moved further into the room to add some more wood to the fire burning within the fireplace. "Need anything?," he asked as he added the last log.

Daniel was quickest to respond, smirking and looking to Melanna, "Nay I think not."

She also answered Omer herself, "No, I don't think so. But thank you."

Omer turned to head for the door. "Ok.. I am headed to Hlint," he stated.

"Travel safely," Melanna called after him while Daniel nodded his farewell to Omer rather than speaking. Omer was quickly gone through the portal just outside the living room in the hallway.

Melanna commented after him to Daniel as the two remained once more the only occupants of the home for the moment, "Poor fellow, we've taken over his home."

"He is happy for you, Miss.. Think nothing of it," came Daniel's response to her comment. He then added, "And if I remember, it be your home as well as his."

Melanna smirked looking upon the closing door to the hall, "Only because he chooses to share it with me."

Daniel argued, "Not from what I recall. Did you not lend him considerable True for it?"

"Indeed. But he has long since repaid that debt. He could throw me out whenever he liked if he wanted," began to explain Melanna patiently.

Daniel interupted before she could finish, "and earn thy wrath.. He would be a bigger fool..than.. I." He said the last word with a grin.

Melanna went on to finish what she'd been about to say, "But he treats me like a sister, and let's me stay."

"Because he is not a fool at all," Daniel said to support his comments.

Melanna could only smirk, "I think he keeps me around just to annoy certain others."

Daniel grinned at that. "And has it been working?"

Melanna shrugged and followed the shrug with, "Perhaps," and a wry smile. "Of course it helps that I supply him with quite a bit of goods to practice his crafts with."

Daniel grinned further, "Aye, that would do it."

Becomming serious and remembering her own promise to Omer a bit late Melanna added, "Though, he doesn't wish that to be known, so no telling."

Daniel nodded, "Thy secret be safe with me."

"On our bond," Melanna pressed.

"Aye, I so swear it," agreed Daniel seriously.

Melanna nodded, and as she thought of the bond again she got an idea in her head. It made her chuckle mischievously at the thought of it.

Daniel rolled his eyes, "Oh bother." He knew if she chuckled as she did that it likely didn't bode well for someone, and in this case, likely not himself.

Melanna couldn't help it, she wanted to tease him a bit so she went ahead and posed what had come to her mind, "What would you do if I insisted the mingling of our blood to be binding to marriage?" She paused as she watched him for a reaction, "Would you squirm, perhaps?"

She could see him think hard before he answered her, taking the discussion back from levity into the serious realms, "Aye a bit."

With the seriousness once more invoked, Melanna voiced another thought that had been on her mind, she told herself she wouldn't care what the answer was really. "Do you truly still have your heart set on her, though she doens't return your caring?"

Daniel sighed so deeply it seemed to come from his toes, "Aye. I cannot help myself."

Melanna was wrong, she did care what the answer was she discovered. Damn her feelings for tricking her, but she had to ask further, "Yet you hope for me to love you the same as you love her?"

"Nay, I hope for you to love me as you will to relieve your doubts and pain ..," Daniel said next to answer her.

She felt hurt. She felt angry at him. To herself she fumed inside, "How noble of you to bear the burden of offering yourself to me so I can alieve my doubts and pain and you can enjoy the pleasure that brings you!" But she didn't say one word of those thoughts. She put them down in hopes of something more. She asked Daniel as gently as she could, "And what of your doubts and pain Daniel?"

He pondered her words a moment, "They would be diminished by thy company , but never will I truly love another."

In that answer, and in that moment something broke within Melanna. Perhaps it was her heart, but whatever it was shattered. Feelings rushed into the empty places, her self-doubt eager to assert itself. Her parents were right all along, she was not worth loving. She wanted to be angry at Daniel but she found she couldn't be, it wasn't his fault, it was her own for being what she was. What she'd been convinced of for so long, what she had almost escaped from being convinced of. What bottomless pit she fell back into in that moment. She frowned, and then emotion was pushed from her face. "Indeed. As I thought," her mouth voiced as she stood. A coldness flooded her reasoning and then her reason was gone. She strode out of the living room into the hallway, carried by dark emotion.

Daniel watched her go in that moment, but remained seated.

Trudging numbly down the hallway toward her room, Melanna began to sob. How could she have expected anything else? She wondered amid the flood of her emotions. She strode into her room, pushing open the door before her. Absently she slammed it with such force that Daniel, still seated in the living room, could hear the loud thundering followed by the more quiet tapping of bits of plaster cascading to the floor. It was then Daniel began to move.

Melanna roughly yanked off her dress and cast it aside. She grabbed her under-armor form her wardrobe and began pulling it on. As she cried and worked to dress herself in her armor she heard the doorknob of her room jiggled loudly from without. "Go away!," she shouted and continued to fasten on her armor plating over the under-suit she now wore. Silence answered her shout from without for a time until she was finished. She grabbed her adamantium greatsword off her weapons rack and then strode to the door, unlocking it and pushing it open.

Roughly she pushed past Daniel though he tried to stop her with his voice. "Hold..," he called to her, though she did not stop.

She walked heavilly, armor clanking loudly, as she headed for the exit from the home. He followed after, obviously concerned, but she moved too quickly.

"Melanna!," Daniel called to her again from behind as she neared the east gate of Fort Llast.

Anger, annoyance, maybe hate too filled her voice as she answered without pause, "What?"

"I did not lie to you," she heard Daniel say as she went onward past the gate, his voice barely catching her ears.

She didn't know if he heard her or not, but she responded, "I know, I wouldn't expect you too." Her own thoughts were only that his truth of not being able to love her meant that she was not worth loving. She trudged up and over the hill as she kept to the road a bit further. Her mind raged. She would make herself worth something if she couldn't be worth loving, she reasoned unreasonably to herself within her own mind. She followed a path leading off the road into the foothills of the Grey Peaks, towards the ancient crypt that had been built there long ago.

Undead sought to bar her way and sprang up to the defense of their master's lair. One after another they fell beneath her greatsword as it flashed in the dim light of near evening. First one zombie lord, then a skeletal warrior, then what many know as risen remains, and two more zombie lords followed by another risen remains. The greatsword with it's weight, while better suited against flesh still smashed through bone effectively enough. None of her foes had so much as touched her yet.

She strode confidently into the crypt itself after throwing open the barred gate that served to seal the entry. The halls were dimly lit, and empty feeling, but she knew better. Undead dwelt herein. Some were terrible creatures known as bodaks, others were shades of skeletons, or even mummies. She marched onward undaunted, though if her common sense had been there to guide her she'd have turned to leave before even considering going into the place alone.

She turned around a corner and entered the first large chamber. The undead rose up to swarm upon her. Shadow Fiends took the front and danced before her blade as it sought to cleave them. And further to the back a bodak took notice and began to turn it's gaze of death upon her. In the heat of the battle she felt her own eyes drawn to that gaze and she stared it down once with her anger. The bodak was not to be easily ignored and it increased it's effort to stare death upon her, and again she met it's gaze and poured her anger forth so powerfully that the bodak's gaze had no effect upon her. Her attention returned long enough to one of the shadow fiends before her and she caught it with a solid blow that sundered it from itself and the thing fell to the floor in two pieces before fading into dust.

She felt her eyes pulled up once more by the bodak's gaze and this time her will faltered. Something within her gave way and she felt her soul crushed, her life ended. She saw herself drift upward from her own body as it fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. The tugging from behind herself familiar, but more powerful than the nine times previous. The Soul Mother pulled free the last strand binding her to her body and her spirit was pulled away to darkness.