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Author Topic: The wind and the leaf  (Read 2558 times)


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2008, 08:38:20 pm »
The tale of Eon betrayal, as told by Plenarius Ashaley. Written by Fehriel Cailomel.

So if you will all get comfortable again, I'll tell you all about a story of friendship, determination, adventuing, bloodpools, love and sadly betrayal.

About a thousand years ago, Katia, my beloved Goddess, much like many of us, walked these lands, exploring, making new friends, learning to harness the power of nature to aid her as a young druidess. She spent a lot of her time with her three closest friends. One of them was a weapon master who even to this day leaves a great legacy, moored in secrecy, his name was Karrak and many past and future weapon masters seek out his story. Another was a quiet and resourceful halfling by the name of Akbar, he was there for them in a punch and seemed to have a knack in helping them get out of all sorts of jams, mechanical or social. The last was a budding wizard, very intelligent and already a master of some advanced attunement to the Al'Noth, his name was Eon. They were very much friend as many of us are here, exploring, adventuring, learning from each other - they soon found themselves undertaking a massive task.

Since the great cataclysm, Berlinara as we know it now was a vast wasteland of dirt and ash, the soil was terrible and life was vacant.  Our fearless friends set out to pioneer the northern stretches. Tasked specifically with the renewal of nature's cycle, they forged through the wastelands until they came upon what we now know as the Kuhl forest. At the time though it was a graveyard of ill, but together, they made the soil arable, they planted thousands of seeds, and when the time was right, they helped relocate wildlife to the now budding forest. The friends were having a great time, they practiced their skills agains various enemies and enjoyed many nights of tales and dreams... but Katia's sights were bigger, she had a grand plan she soon unveiled to her friends. As they stood upon the emergence of the Kuhl forest, she told them of her greatest legacy she wished, the largest forest in Layonara, a vast tribute to nature in one of the deadest areas known. She outlined her plans for a great forest, the great forest, almost 1/5th the sieze of the continent, stretching from Mount Thil north from coast to coast. The friends were eager to help her, for each of them were once aided by Katia, but moreso just to be together and share in her triumph as friends do.

So it came to be that they stood under the shadows of Mount Thil, looking northward upon a barrent roughlands, a task of years, they would renew life to Belinara and tribute nature to balance, the cycle of life on Layonara. A month or two had passed, they only just begun really, and things were going well, well at least with most of them.  Soon, boredom and relentless physical labour was eating at one of our friends, Eon. Soon he would disappear for day, claiming to do some advance planing or strategic engineering or something like that. The others didn't think too much of it as Eon had always been a bit of an introvert, usually caught with his nose in a book in some quiet corner of his dungeon in Thorn River. But soon the daily disappearances turned into a few days, then a week, and each time he'd return, he had a bit more of a snappy attitude, not so welcomeing of friendship or conversation. To the group it seemed something else was biting at Eon, something more then resentment over continued physical labour. So three or four months into their efforts, with about fifteen percent of the work done, Eon failed to return for weeks.  

It was a sad time for the others wondering if it was them. Katia was particularly upset, she thought she pushed him away... They soon figured they would not see him again for a long while, if ever again. A few more weeks had passed and Karrak and Katia were close to dozing off under the stars, the work of the day was taxing and though they'd not admit it, soon they didn't think of Eon much any more. As they drifted off under the moonbathe of almost dual fulls, Katia, in the fraction of time between conciousness and sleep, inhaled a scent that startled her to wake. Smoke! Her first instinct was to douse the campfire, but Karrak had already done so, then to her shock she gazed south... her jaw dropped. For miles in each direction, a wall of fire was racing for them, eating everything in their path, all the saplings, the plants, the flowers, the wildlife was running towards them, some unable to keep up with the pace of the fire advancing.... blown unnatrually by the swiftest of gusts. Like a chario of horses leading an emperor of some forgotten kingdom, floating at the center of this wave of fire was a diabolical figure cackling so loud it drowned the ravaging sound of flame. Katia quickly awoke Akbar and Karrak, they had camped near Skald Lake fortunately, for it would end up saving their lives, the treaded into the center, her two friends afloat upon her arms and they stood in utter shock. All of their efforts gone to waste... the fire worked itself around the lake and soon found itself unable to continue with the lack of new life to the north... the dirt ended the site, only saved by the fact that gthe group had yet to forge so far.

Tears of anger and sadness disappeared into the lake as Katia stared, then in a puff of red smoke a figure appeared to the south. Calling out over the waters he stood conent.  "The is no power in nature!" he cried defiantly. Katia was enraged, how could he, her friend... was this the Eon she really knew... Eon continued "The great lord Sinthar Bloodstone has rewarded me, beyong anything I can dream of, control of the Al'Noth beyonf any of your imagination.  This is the true Eon!" and he laughed a diabolical laugh once more. And when he did, a skull formed where his face was, for the power of immortality, the undead 'gift' was bestowed upon him.  

Eon was now a slave to Blood and to undeath. He turned his back as the friends continued to wade in shock, rage and depression. He then disappeared among the smoke, and as the ash coals crackled on the ground, Katia closed her eyes and looked into the heavens. In the darkest hour, their hope was alive, they would not give up their hopes, they were driven with rage, with a newly formed and stronger bond and decided they would rebuild once more and work tirelessly to renew that which was taken away. Eon, it was later learned was offered allt he power of a bloodpool in exchange to be Blood's general, and to show his allegiances, that was his task. Eon would never again see them, well as mortals at least, as one of Blood's generals, Eon's tasks were now greater and his allegiance confirmed he focussed on whatever horrors they planned out. Katia and her friends did end up completing their task, as you all k now, the great forest is indeed massive in scale.  They even had a little help on the way, a man whom Katia had saved offered his assistance too. This man she saved, she sound found herself in love with, but it was later discovered that he was no ordinary man though... Only taken form as a human but in reality was someone many of you have heard of. A dragon God by the name of Rofirein yes.

And well that's Eon's betrayal...

Power corrupts as is oft spoken... to almos tno end


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #21 on: December 30, 2008, 11:03:32 am »
Things are moving along. The bear is still trying to kill me it seems, or at least trying to make me learn balance the hardest possible way. Shrowd may have found someone, which is a good thing and I am happy for her. She is feisty. Played a little joke on her and got an alchemist fire for the taking. I wouldn't want her to get the wrong Idea though. She is a nice person, a good friend. But it would never be more.

I've been spending time with Aizaionna a bit more lately, had not seen her in a long while. We have agreed to train together after I've told her of what I have come to learn. A war is coming to mistone. As a ranger and protector of the lands.. I have no choice to fight. It may be my doom, or it may be what brings me balance who knows. But I will stand against those drags, those dragons and those mindless soldiers.

Mel has a rather good sense of humor too, she should show it more often. A very good fighter too. The training trips we have made against the Giants lately has went surprisingly well. Azaionna might not approve much so I don't speak of it much, although she knows that they are my worst foes, I hate them like most rangers do. I can't phantom how some of us think them to be some old forest caretaker.

Well I got more meditating to do.. the bear is looking at me.. strangely if I don't do it every day.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #22 on: December 31, 2008, 02:42:28 am »
No promises from either part, just the time to find each others balance. One can't run before he tries to walk. And so, as we will walk through life, learning and growing, we will see if down the road the feelings grows. Helping each other where we can, in finding our own center. Taking true time as elf usually do. It could take decades or not, only time will tell. But as elves go, they usually take a very long time before growing into something. If they grow into it at all.

"It's a good thing for you that druid found you! Now you are wise beyond your race!"

That made me laugh, but it is a testament to what Seelan tried to teach me before she passed to the great hunt.

To say it all started with a simple, unexpected kiss or hers. And then well, both of us being mixed up. Her about my reaction, and me about her calling that elf, my wolf. She didn't know that wolves were actually packs, living, hunting and sharing their daily lives together. Females helping each other with the cubs, who ever the mother is, but even more so if it is the alpha's cubs. and the whole pack going on the daily hunts, taking turn to watch over the cubs as the others hunts.

Wolves are an intricate society, that people are too afraid, because of the wolves nature, to spend the time studying them. And in such the popular belief that wolves are loners was born. Those that are loners, are those that were cast away because they either failed to take dominance against the alpha's, or because they were sick, or unable to function as part of the pack, there for putting the balance of the pack at risk. None the less when I explained to her what his nick name meant, as wolves mates for life and me thinking they were together. She was stunned and hastened to explain the situation.

She was really happy I took her to North point, showing her the temple of Aeridin there. She said that the most she had seen where the shrines, but not the actual temples. I wonder if she ever visited the one on Voltrex. Might be the next place I show her. She took her time, walking slowly in the temple. Looking at the statues, reading the inscriptions, talking to the priest there. Like a small children opening her birthday gifts. But not quite a child, she was calm, serene and posed. Although you could see how excited she was by how her eyes glittered. It's a bit a shame I was left perplexed at the time, about the wolf nickname of that elf. Maybe I should have spoke before we entered, so we could clear that up, and thus enjoying the visit myself. But I doubt it will be the last time I will accompany her there.

Maybe I could ask her to visit the hidden temple of Folian with me some day. Seeing as both our faith have some similar thoughts on some matters, she might enjoy coming to visit it with me.

Right now though, we took shelter into the adventurer shelter as the night fell and she was getting colder and tired. She is resting in reverie now and she looks so calm, the glimmer of the fire gently dancing and illuminating her.

**below is a sketching of the young elf in reverie*


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2009, 06:38:31 pm »
To apologize and then be insulted? Really who does she think she is? She can keep her darn mutt pet and anger to herself. I have better things to do, and training myself into mastering my blade is a priority, not to mention training with Azaionna so we can be ready for the war is the other one. At least she didn't past judgment on me for how Mrs hot head reacted. She listened and understood it was only a joke that went awry. Even if we have not promised anything to each other, I wanted to be sure that she saw both side of the story before making any judgment.

Frankly who do they think they all are? thinking they know what I am expecting, thinking or even feeling? They can all go eat some jumping cow dung, I have little to no more patience for them.

Although I'm happy she has found what she wanted, it did sting me a bit when I found out she was pregnant. So fast for elves.. so fast. As if the world was coming to an end and they both wanted to go to the afterlife not being vestals. Oh well it's their life, they can do what they want with it. I'm just tired of them thinking they know my moods and why I am with them, when they are absolutely not aware. I am happy for her, I just don't agree on how fast all of that went.

Kyle sent me a letter, we will be starting the intensive training soon. I hope not to disappoint him.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2009, 04:41:35 pm »
*The sounds of swords clashing fills the Vehl arena as Kyle and Fehriel spar. The younger man's strikes are quick but lack focus as Kyle is able to parry them. One of Fehreil's attacks was parried and the weapon is knocked away. Kyle puts up a hand to stop. Fehriel then stands down on a knee to take his two bladed sword, a low growl escaping his lips.*
 I'm sorry master, I find it hard to concentrate on my posture and attacks all at once. in the wild.. I don't think, I act and react by instict.. Here.. it is different, not only that but I don't want to hurt you either, so that weight on my mind.
 *He get's back up and places himself into a defensive stance after twirling his blade around him.*


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2009, 02:17:21 am »
I finally know why Ayana left the meeting in such a hurry. A promise she made to a man, not to be near his ex.. the same man she professed her love too, but he did not return the feelings.. or .. well... from how she is hurt, he may be running around with an other woman. She is a great woman, and if my gut feeling is right.. the man's a bloke.  I'm sure if she opens up.. loosens up.. she will eventually find the right person for her.

Haven't seen Azaionna in a while now.. seems this is just how things are for me. They all seems to disappear. Oh well.. I'm sure she'll turn up eventually, probably just gone training on her own a bit. At least.. I hope.

Ever since that.. that time finding that stupid jewel crafter Damion, my dreams have worsen up... now I not only dreams of bloodshed, strange runes, wars, destruction.. but I now dream about undead running rampant. It is severe too, I never had any fear about them but down in that crypt with the hunting war party.. I just froze.. I couldn't breath.. nervousness wrecked me, uneasy at the feeling of evil emanating from that place.. they said it was necromancy.. even the word makes my spine freeze. I have to find a way to gain control of this.. or all my training will be for naught.. and it may put Azaionna life in danger.. or any one else with me, if I freeze like that again.

I got to train harder.. my mind, my sword.. everything.. I got to master my swords, who and what I am too. Kyle said it is all a matter of balance, between strength, dexterity, intelligence and patience. I'm sure there is more to it. He seems very peaceful and in control of himself.. I need to find that myself. To be calm facing an incoming storm, flexible like a weed in the most horrifying winds. Swift and powerful like the wolf lunging at the neck of a deer. That is what I have to become... At least now that I train and meditate everyday, Filcillnya has not tried to chew me up to much.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2009, 05:24:48 pm »
I have spent a lot more time training in the arena since our last lesson, and all I can say is that dumies are worthless. They don't hit back, they don't move and I barely have to move to make my hits. I don't see why they are any good to me, sure it's easy to hit the exact same place with an unmoving target, but that is not real life. But it is what Kyle wants, so I'm doing it. I have also spent a lot more time meditating, trying to find inner balance and patience, I think it is progressing.. but it is hard to say.
 Azai and I have help a farmer on Alindor lately, he had a problem with the scarecrows there. God I hate those, they made me run like a scared school girl around the area. Azai fell for it too though, so well. eh at least it fits her gender *chuckles slightly*. After that though, I was really badly injured and I could see and feel that she was really worried about me. I guess she is getting attached slowly. I'm glad, if she does. we camped outside of the farm, watching both moons and talking a bit. At one point, I moved a stray luck of hair from her forhead and she leaned in when I did. For a moment there, the moons lighting softly glowed on her in a way that was making her look like an angel, and I just kept looking in her eyes a bit more. That's when I noticed that she was biting her lower lips.. I figured it was a bit in anticipation for what came. I kissed her, under the beautiful moons, but unlike the time she kissed me, this one was short as she moved away rapidly and went to ruffle my hair.
 After reflection and remembering what she said in north fort. I think that she wants to keep control on the speed of things, not to get attached too quickly. We both have things that we want to do, and I think getting to seriously into a relationship would be like tying thigns down, for her. Can't blame her there. We get along well, we have many of the same views and well ... I know we appreciate each others a lot. more than good friends that is for sure. Well see where the path leads, take our time, and if or when things moves further, they will. I'm in no hurry.
 Oh yeah.. I laughed so hard about this and still do. As we were going to the farm, I was teasing her a bit about talking to Kyle about her. At the end, she said that she may be interested in training with us. I joked that I had no chance if I had to fight both of them, which she laughed. But isntead she went and joked about using her feminine assets to distract him while I went behind him and took him down. I don't know if that would work, but eh.. if it means being able to hit him at least once before the next 200 years, then it may be worth the try.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #27 on: January 15, 2009, 06:59:56 pm »
Yet again an other training days hitting those stupid dummies. I'm sure I must have been looking as the most bored tiefling ever. Hitting.. Hitting.. Hitting... Same place.. Same place... No action, no reaction no nothing. Finally Kyle finally arrived and stared at me a moment hitting.. hitting.. hitting.. same place.. same place.. same place.. After a while I just asked him the point into hitting those darn nonliving.. smelliness.. things. He just looked at me a little bit more and then moved to the center of the arena. I shrugged as he just didn't answer, figuring it was the Master knows best type of thing I have seen in the past with other teachers teaching their pupiles.
 For the next two hours we were just exchanging hits and blocks moving around the arena floor.. If Azai was there this day, I'm sure she would have laughed a bit.. probably looked like we were dancing around. But at least.. now I had to move, now I had to esquive and think about my positioning, my defense, my attacks strategies. Finally after the two hours we moved out of the arena center back toward the dummies and he stopped to talk to me, forcing me to turn around to look at him. He starts to talk about how it was a good session this time, that my hits were still a bit wild and then out of no where he looks passed me, his composed face suddenly changing to fear and he yells out
 '' ...OH GODS LOOK OUT!!!!''
 I didn't even think, I just reacted spun arround twirling my blade over my head and coming down in the usual slashing motion he had me trained for the last few months, to my surprised there was only a dummy there receiving the same and perfectly practiced hit. I looked at the dummy a bit stunned for a moment, not about the fact I had hit it yet again exactly the same way, but that my reaction was just swift and without thoughts and exactly, perfectly, precise same way I had practiced it again and again. The bugger just smiled slightly and said
 "Any more questions?"
 He smirked after that while I was looking at him sideways, squinting my eyes.. my question obviously answered.
 I talked to him about Azai joining our training sessions. He said he would think about it and give me a decisive answer shortly. But for now, he gave me a new attack to train on.. again on the dummies.. told me to practice it for the next few weeks. I obviously waited for him to leave before my head dropped, but then I started to practice it.. Hitting.. Hitting... Hitting... Same place.. Same place.. Same place.. but at least a new attack motion.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2009, 02:50:14 pm »
I'm mixed up..
 Azaionna and I went to make an other trip of the dragon isles with Ni and Myrena this time. All went well at first, but as we were going to the satyrs and through them, they started to get organized. And at the second group there were now to much for us. Azai fell first i think, and then Myrena.. and finally me. Ni had went invisible escaping. It is apparently a mute lady that raised us before taking of in the sky. what was she? human? or something more...
 After we rested we went to continue our expedition and unfortunatly stumbled on more satyres out of their usual territory. The leader one even went as to kidnapped Azai. But once she was back they even stopped us from going further and cleansing the wearebeast dungeon.
 I was inferuated, all the time they had her captive, I was ready to shoot them down, to hunt them down to extinction.. I even tried to climb the cliff when they took her away from my sight, but I felt powerless as I couldn't get over the top. I swear... I will not be so powerless for much longer.
 As we reached caisin.. I felt her distant.. and it.. puzzle me. She tried to reassure me, I think, that she was alright.. but what she said about having to rethink a lot of things.. left a chill on my spine.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2009, 01:27:25 am »
Big arse Moles, a farmer I would gladly bury in his own field up to his neck, a poor farmer that had his house destroyed because of us, and one retired musician with roaming hand and silver tongue making eyes to Azai.... really took a lot out of me, not to just go around splitting heads, but to keep trying and help.. Seelan.. I hope you didn't turn to much in your grave today.. cause I tried.. I tried my darn best.. Gave it all I had.. up to getting a splitting headache..

I'll keep to my promise and see if Kyle can help me with the wooden planks Joe the farmer needs for his house. I don't make promises often.. but when I do.. I try to keep them always.

I wish some people would look in the mirror before judging me.. sure I have red eyes.. scary for some.. laughable for others.. sure I have the attitude of a farting ox.. when I'm not in a good mood, or there is too many people around. But heck.. I'm not a slabbing, drooling, half orc.. I don't have horns that comes out of my forehead like some others of my kind.. or fangs that would make people cover their neck fearing I would bite them. I'm plain.. I do have to work on my attitude maybe.. a little.. but frankly.. if the one I care about doesn't care about it.. or at least didn't mention it yet.. then why should I?

I'm so tired of those square heads thinking they are better than any one.. I'm not a blood thirsty savage, because I go and quell the numbers of giants down, to make sure vale is not over run, or that the local wild life doesn't disappear because there would be too many giants and not enough food. Which would lead them to raid the villages and towns of the area for food.  There is a reason in why I hunt them, and a reason I hunt them with intelligence and not to the brink of extinction. yes I hate them.. like most rangers.. but does it mean I will exterminate their race? nope. I just wish some people would actually think before talking, thinking they know how I think or what I think.

* Closes his journal and sets it back in his pack then goes back to bash the dummy, trying to regain focus.. but stops after a moment leaning on his two bladed sword. He takes his journal out again.*

I got to think of somewhere else to bring Azai.. if she is still interested.. also got to see with Tabris when he will make that party.. I'd still like to go there with her. Looking on my notes, I just realized it has been over a year since we have started to somewhat see each other.. time flies.. time flies.. I got to get her something special and.. do something special.

*Puts it back again in his pack and resume training until his arms are completely numbed.*


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2009, 02:37:26 pm »
Sitting out of hempstead, reflecting on what just happened on one of my regular tour. A bit pale might I add. I think it's important I write down my thoughts about balance.

When one lives in balance with nature, he is no burden to her. She provides more than he needs, and he never goes hungry. He never lacks shelter. He never misses the bird songs in the days and nights, for those nightly birds. But when one becomes unbalanced with nature, he takes more than she can provide, the trees don't shelter him anymore and the lands become barren because he chases the animals away out of hunger.

Some people think that nature always balance herself in the long run. While it may be true, the problem with that is that it could take millennias for her to do so, and in the mean while many species can disappear because of that. Those consequences are undesirable. If one of the species that sits over a fast growing species disappears from the food chain.. let's say that spiders were to be completely eradicated from the forest of falls. The beetle bugs there would have lost they natural predators. With nothing to keep their population in check they would outgrow their food source and would then expand their territories to find food. It's what I call rural migration. Moving closer to the dwellings of the walkers and causing havoc. Which then results in the walkers to take drastic measure to quell the problem when they were the cause in the first place.

Yes, I know.. this wouldn't be popular ideas if I spoke them out loud. But the biggest problem in nature, isn't the animals.. it's those living beings that have thought patterns that exceed simple instincts. The biggest one are the walkers.. not even the Giants themselves or minotaurs although they can become problematic too, but us. If we were to only take what we needed from nature to subsist and live in balance with her, we wouldn't be the problem. But our constant need for more, for luxuries, and our incapacity to control our birth rates, makes us the worst thing that has ever happened to nature. By our growth, we have exceeded what hunting and fishing could bring us and so we developed farming. With that ability to renew our food stocks each two seasons, spring and falls, we have become sedentary. And with that came the towns to fill the needs to shelter ourselves. But as the towns grew bigger due to an ever increasing population, so did our walls grew further apart, and more farms needed to be built to keep on feeding the mouths. That meant that we had to expand and most often, that came to the price of clearing forests for the wood needed to build and the clearing for the farms. Pushing further and further the food supplies of the animals, we started to unbalance the food chain and the walkers then became part of the food chain, even more than they were before. And because of that, wild life has started to become a nuisance to those unable to understand balance. But once even us, had reached a peak of what an area could provide to us, we started to migrate and build outpost.. and villages, which then became towns. That's what I call colonization.

It's important for us, that swore to protect nature, to try and maintain that balance, wither it be for the walkers or for the animals. Because of the Conscienceless of some, nature can become unbalanced and one specie of animal can then outgrow what she can provide for them. In those time it becomes imperative that we act to re-balance what some have unbalanced. It is sometime a dirty job, and sometime other will judge you for it because they don't understand, or think that you do things for the pleasure of a hunt. Well, I can't deny that there isn't a satisfaction in a hunt well done, or at the blood flow in my veins when I track my prey. But there is a need for each hunt I make, wither it be to subsist or to bring balance. One should never go out and kill senselessly just for the pleasure of killing.

When two species fights for food suplies, it is the one that adapts better that survives. The one that will eventually outgrow the other in numbers. But eventually, that same expansion rate will be their downfall. That is partly what is happening in the fog forest I think. With Vale and the giants fighting for the same food sources, there is unavoidable clashes. And being that the Giants seems to be able to reproduce in greater number than the little colony, raids are often seen. Being that those that protects themselves have better defenses, the Giants are mostly kept at bay. Some may call it balance, but it is an artificial balance that is unbenificial to nature. To growing population fighting for the same food source, will inexorably render the forest unable to sustain both. And while one can actually replenish their main supplies by trade and farming, the other cannot. And the unavoidable exodus of some of the giants brings them further away from the forest and closer to the others walkers dwelling. And so the vicious circle begins again. And some of us are forced to try and bring balance to what our own kind have unbalanced. Would it be seen moral to hunt our own kind, I am sure we would see it more often than not, and we do see it. We see it in the wars between races, between factions, between kingdoms. But most of those wars are not for needs, or about survival.. they are about greed.

What is the most funny thing about all of this, is that what is found in nature can also be found within ourselves. When someone fuels hatred, it grows until it is uncontrollable. Seeping away at the inner strength of one to keep himself balance, and consumes all that there is in that person. Only leaving a shell full of dark thoughts, emotions and rage.  That's why I also think, that to be in balance in nature.. one also have to be in balance within himself. Without inner balance, we are not better than those Giants, dragons, or undeads.

When the long strider said to give more than you take, I am sure he didn't only mean to plant more trees than you cut, to feed the animals more than what you hunt them to feed yourself. But I am convinced he meant to find your own balance, so that you could live in balance within nature, so that you could never run out of life.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #31 on: January 25, 2009, 12:02:39 pm »
I had an other training day today with Kyle. As usual, I was the mopped that was used to clean the floor, but at least today I was able to hit him back more than a few times. He said my training was starting to pay out as he showed me the bruises I had left on him. He want's me to train a new attack which is called whirlwind attack. I tried it a few times right there in front of him and fell two out of the tree time on the floor. The third time I barely manage not to fall but I wasn't able to make the attack properly. It will take more practice I guess.

After the training was done we went to meditate, as we usually do for a couple of hours in each of our training session.

He started by guiding me through the meditation with a slow and relaxing voice. "Close your eyes...and clear your mind... Concentrate only on the sound of the stream.
Just you and the stream. Let all be at peace within you."

I was totally relaxed, and I could feel the usual combats within me vanish. All I could hear was him, the water of the stream and the nature around me in harmony.

"Let the peace wash over you like the stream.
Feel it begin inside your center... And feel it begin to move from your center to your your legs....till it is all around you. This is your Ki...your inner energy... It is what we draw on...can be peaceful...but it is also the stream. Deep breath and open your eyes..."  

  I can't say I actually felt something there, it's not like I was feeling a power or a tingling sensation coursing through my body, but I kept meditating and concentrating on what he was telling me to do. At the same time though, I did feel a warmth coursing through me at one point. As if someone had enveloped me in a warm blanket. I wonder if this is what he was referring to as Ki. After a while he asked me how I was feeling and truth be told. I was more at peace than ever. Like the times Bellethiel went in reverie on my laps and I was able to find sleep without nightmares.. To think of it, it happened once with Azai too.

I had to ask him what could be done with the ki, I must have sounded like a dumb weed or something. But how am I supposed to learn if I don't ask question to better understand.
He answered me

As I can be a peaceful thing...but powerful... When you learn how to channel your can be a powerful force. Like the stream..."  

  To which I understood that you can use that Ki, channeled into your arms and weapon and I asked him if I was right. And he answered me in his cryptic ways again. "It can be flowing peacefull like now...or be a rushing torrent other times. Yes... Then your Ki becomes a rushing torrent...powerful... Your chosen the conduit for that power"

                          I can understand why this is something that need lots of training and inner peace, and he agreed with me on that. Someone that is fueled with hate would ultimately use this in the wrong way and would become someone extremely dangerous. With that I agreed to meditate even more and try to feel the Ki energy within me. I will also try to channel it to my arms and legs as he was guiding me through when I was meditating. As he was leaving he made a small joke about padding the floor when I was training the whirlwind attack and he laughed a bit while I smiled. He then wished me for Ilsare to guide my heart and bring me piece. I kinda let out a "well what better than a monk to bring peace to it" He grinned as he walked away, And I made my way to try and find that little elf monk that brings me peace.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #32 on: January 29, 2009, 01:59:23 am »
I have been traveling and putting into practice all that I have learned with Kyle, for the past few months. Wither it be alone, with a group or with Azai. I must confess that I am feeling sore though.. the floor is not a nice dancing partner, when you keep falling on it, practicing the whirlwind attack. But there is time where I come close to finish the move, maybe it's just luck though.

Speaking of Azai, the elf perplexes me, in a good way. She says she doesn't want things to be too serious.. I feel a yet with that. But at the same time, she is more than teasing me and me her. For the last couple of time that we have stopped into towns on our travels, we have been sharing the same room. I even gave her massages a few time, when she was feeling numbed from our combats routine. There is still some privacy that we leave each others though, she is a lady after all. But I have to confess that it is pleasant to share my nights with her, albeit that it is just that, sharing ones arms and warmth. When I thought that Bellethiel was the only one that was able to make my nightmares go away at night, I was partly right. There is time, when the moment are just rights with Azai, that my nightmares leaves me alone. Other times though, when there is uncertainty on either of our parts, the nightmares comes as usual. I know it worries her some, from the reaction she had in the silkwood spider cave, when I woke up in a rush from one of the nightmares. I say that as if there were many different kinds, but it is always the same reoccurring one, night after night.

One thing I have noticed though, is that my meditation does help me a lot. They are worse when I have not meditated that day. Speaking of which, I have yet to feel anything else than some slight heat moving from my chest to my arms and legs when I concentrate on my Ki. I still wonder if that is the Ki, or just.. I don't know.. My mind playing tricks on me.

I wonder what has ever happened to Bellethiel, she has never sent me any word, nor has anyone ever reported seeing her alive or dead.. I wish her to be in good health though. It is a bit sad that she disappeared that way, things could have been great. But I do not feel slighted or guilty that my heart has moved on. I always wondered what I would do if she came back, truth be told I still do. But it would take more than her just showing up for me to just leave everything in the air with Azai and go back like a sick puppy to her. At this point, I don't think I could give any her more than friendship. That is a chapter that is closed, a new one has been open and written on for some time now, and I am happy with that.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #33 on: February 05, 2009, 04:53:56 am »
The training with Kyle has been grueling, intense, bruising, exhausting, but so rewarding. I know I have gotten better with my weapon.. with myself. I don't pretend to be a master yet, but I have stopped feeling the weapon at all now. When I swing, it is not as if I was swinging a piece of wood and metal, but I feel through it. When it touches it is like if it was my own hand punching. I have trained so many new stances, so many new attacks, to a point where I don't have to think about them anymore that it has improved greatly my ability to do my duties as a ranger. I have also been able to developed the ability to better position myself on the battle field, to move around the preys without them being able to take advantage with their attacks. I think it is one step closer to what I am seeking to become. I have yet to master the whirlwind attack that Kyle wants me to master. I still feel soar from my last training session for that one. He did say to pad the floor, but no.. I have to learn the heard way. Colin always said I was always pushing myself too hard. Well... it is bearing it's fruit. At least I fall less and less when I train for it now. My meditation has also helped me a lot to stay focused on what is important within me and around me. I still feel torn and at war in myself though, and my dreams has never stopped getting worse. But that is something that I am dealing with better now. I guess that even if I will never stop having them, being able to control myself and my emotions will help me in the long run. Filcillnya is still using me as a chew toy but something just happened today that seems different. I'll come back to it later.

Azaionna never stops amazing me. She knows of my temper and my inner struggles, and even though sometimes I know she doesn't like it, she doesn't judge me for them. She knows I am trying to better myself, and to better control them through meditation and training. She also knows that we might not always be exactly thinking the same ways on things, and yet.. with all of that, she still accepts me for who I am and accepts my presence by her side. We have been getting much more closer over the year... no almost two years now. I don't know where this will lead us, but I have a feeling that we wont regret it. For once I am no scared to be myself around someone.

We have embarked on a long trip. I had written her a letter asking her if she would like to visit the main temple of Aeridin with me. I know she had not went and I thought it would be something she would like. But in the letter I sent her, there was a choice for her to make. Either that temple or the hidden temple of Folian. She sent me back the letter asking me why to choose one over the other and that she would prefer even more to visit both temples. And so we started with the temple of Aeridin.

The boat trip was long, and fastidious. Taxing on me is more the word as I was sick all through the ride. I hate boats.. and I think they hate me too. But she was by my side with me all the time and I wouldn't exchange that for anything. I'm sure I wasn't much of a good company at night though, with being sick all the time and her helping me through it. But she didn't seem to mind. Once we arrived on Voltrex though, things turned from bad to worse for a time. They held us for while questioning us, searching us. I hated the whole process and more than once I saw myself just ripping one of them in half, but I wasn't there for me, I was there for Azai, so I bared with it.  As they let us off the boats though.. things got even worse. Azai had a hard time even getting of the boat. I don't think she realized where we were going, and I surely didn't know that Voltrex were was her sister hood order was. She looked as if she saw a ghost town, when she sat foot on the docks, and then she started to cry.  My heart broke right there, I had caused her pain and sorrows. I was mad with myself for that, but that was for later. I held her as she cried and explained to me why she didn't think she would be back so soon, with what she had done in he past. I tried my best to quell her sorrow, and after some time she did stop to cry. After asking her if she wanted to go back, she said no, that I had endured the boat trip and being sick and all for her, and for that she was going to bare through the rest and go to the temple.

We walked through the town, slowly, at first she was clingning on my hand as if her life depended on it. Looking around at the people that were looking at us... at me.... I swear I saw a few elves hide their children behind them when they saw me. Looking at me as if I was a demon. But I was walking with the one that truly mattered, and what ever they could think, was just sliding down over me like water on a duck's feathers.  We finally arrived at the temple, and I slowly guided her around it so she could take all the sight. After we had reached the door, I looked at her and asked if she was ready, which she nodded. I opened the door for her, and after she took a deep breath, she walked in resolutely.

The interior was even more luxurious than the one of north point. It was also bigger I think. We took our time to look at the painting and architecture. She also took the time to talk to a few of the clerics and monks there. And after a moment, she walked up to the alter where she knelled in front of it and started to pray. I sneaked up a little behind her silently, not disturbing her I heard about her prayer. Asking forgiveness for what she had done in her past. Then I walked back down, leaning on one of the pillar I waited. An hour or so passed and she got up and walked down looking at peace with herself, as if a weight had been taken off of her shoulders, more serene. We headed out of the temple and talked a bit, I was happy for her and she surprised me with a simple answer to me saying that I was merely the guide.

"More than that"

She then tugged at a lock of hair and added

"I fear I am getting attached to you."

The kissed we shared after that was filled in meaning and time. I was lost in it as I was in our first kiss. Before embarking on the boat to go back we stopped at a shrine, where Azai thought it was one to Lucinda. It was nice to look at her as she stood close to it, examining her. The ambient light made her look like an angel.

We then made our way to our second destination, boating back to Lor. This time the trip had been slightly gentler on me, but even then she took great care with my well being. Beside Seelan and Colin, I have never known of anyone who had such care of me, that didn't vanished in thin air. And with her, I do not feel this is something that is likely to happen, which makes my heart lighter but also puzzles me a little. Could it be that I have found someone that is willing to look completely passed race and background. To look simply to the person and the joy that person can bring?

It was a longer trip to find the hidden temple of Folian. We had to head to vale first and from there we spent at least a day trying to find the secret passage to Folian's forest. When we finally found it we took our time, exploring and spending time with the animals there, sharing a bit more of our selves with each other too.. at least until an other elf stumbled on us. Jade was her name. It is a bit shameful to say that I was lost in that forest, not being able to find the passage to the tree top. What a ranger I make... But luckily Jade was a follower of Folian and she knew the way and guided us to the hidden temple.

We talked a bit as we arrived and the next part is a bit surreal. Not long ago I found a note about the Vakhar in one of the Folian's shrines. Naturally I left a message stating I wanted to know more, as the note said something about protecting and tending to nature. This Jade is part of the Vakhar, a group that seems has been dormant for too long. She was asking me and Azai lots of question of what we would do if we were part of the group and what would be our goal. It seems with peaked some interests from her as she said there was many things she had to think. Truly it felt almost as if she was questioning us to see if we would fit. It would be an honor for me to join such a group and be able to join forces with other like minded people, to protect and tend to Nature.

After she left, me and Azai were still sitting at the temple, my arms wraparound her, as we kept talking about many things. It was probably one of the first time I was totally at peace with myself, awake. And even Filcillnya seemed to noticed as it didn't try to chew me, sit on me or even throw me around. It contented itself to lay beside me and Azai. I don't know how long we staid there just talking, but what I know next still surprises me. I had talked to Tabris about renting or hopefully getting free boarding at his new house, and thought for a little while after talking to him, about inviting Azai to live there with me. I stuttered, blushed, scratched my head as I tried to work over the strength to ask her. I knew that she didn't want to feel tied down, and this could certainly make her feel that way. But when I finally managed to speak the words, she met me with a kiss as an answer, following with a you better have a big bed and not snore. The later she already knows but I joked slightly about getting a small bed to be closer, and of course getting her elbows on my nugget again as she sleeps. She blushed at that, and I kept teasing her a bit. But the best part is that she didn't feel threaten by the idea, we both understand that we would be going in and out of that place on a regular basis. But the important part is that she said yes.  I just have to finalize the things with Tabris and get the room set up.

And to say that at one point, I was ready to just sacrifice myself to Fisterion, although it would have served a purpose, I think it was also driven by grief. But if he had chosen to take me on my word, never would I have seen Azai again, and .. none of this would have happened.  She's in reverie now, resting on my lap as I write this entry to my journal. This place.. and her.. I feel so content. I never thought that I could feel it this profoundly.

I think I will rest a little bit with her. So many things we shared.. so much more to share. I look forward to see where the path takes us from here on now.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2009, 03:40:06 pm »
Kyle has started to show me the application of his ki. As I came into the arena the other day I saw him in the middle with one of the dummy he had moved. And there he was slicing the dummy with ease and fluidity that surprises me every time. In the final moment though he pierced the dummy with a powerful shout that made the dummy explode in tiny pieces of cotton and wood shards. He sheathed his katana while I was looking at him oddly baffled, turning to me with a little smile on his face

"Now you learn how to make the peaceful stream into a powerful river..."

For that whole day I spent my time trying to focus my ki into a powerful shout as he did, with each hit on the dummies. It was grueling, I had to put all of my focus and discipline into each hit and shouts, and channel all of my energy into the weapon. The day ended with a sore throat and tiredness as I have never felt.

I found Azai back at home.. it is strange to say such a word so far of wolfswood, but it feels right. She had came back from a little trip, in which time I had furnished our room. She loved it, the plants, the altar, even the perrot I have gotten for her. Asking me what was his name I told her it was her's to choose. I was so tired at that moment, but when she asked me to go with her to run some errant, I just couldn't say no. It's like a renewed energy washed over me and we went to do what she needed. Getting kit the weapons she needed, we stumped when she ask for a oak short bow. That is out of my skills unfortunatly but I know people who can make those. We needed gold though and so we went with Mortimer and Ruaton. The trip went well until we met with the caustic bones. I failed stopping him from raising his dreaded shield. At the end I fell so did Ruaton. Through her prayers Azai was able to call on Aeridin to raise me, and Mortimer saved Ruaton. What happened next is something I would never thought I would see in my life. Mortimer praised Corath for allowing Ruaton to come back to life.

We confronted him right away and it lasted for quite a while in and outside the crypt. Exposed to him what happens to those who follows Cortah. He pleaded with us that he was following balance, not the mad God. BUt something in me tells me to be wary as he refused to swear on Folian's amulet that he was not a follower of the mad God. After a while, Azaionna and I left them to go back home.

Where I am now writing this down in front of the fire place while she bathes.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #35 on: February 22, 2009, 09:47:23 pm »
I have spent the last few months training hard on my ki and my whirlwind attack. Things are progressing on the later one, for the ki?.. I have yet to send a combat dummy flying in pieces of cloth, feathers and straw.

Been sometime that Azai and I have done anything really, beside meeting each other at the room, or some forest walk. Maybe our last trip in Arindor's demise, put her off. I don't know. I should probably ask her. I do need to talk to her about something though. I met with Argali lately, and she was talking to me about the green dragon cult, and the impending forces that are soon to reach our shores. She asked me if I would help, if I could keep an eye out and send word to Plenarius if I saw anything. I told her I would, and that I would talk to other people I know that may be interested in helping against the invasion. I know Azai said she wanted to, so this is the first person I need to talk to.

Beside that, training and more training. and eventually.... even more training.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #36 on: February 24, 2009, 01:07:32 am »
It's with a heavy and burdened heart that I must leave the forest to head into the Battlehems moor and take my station. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't push away my duty anymore. It pains me as I have not been able to speak to Azaionna about what was happening.

I wished I could have, wished I could have asked her thoughts on the matter, asked me to accompany me. But we have not managed to make the time needed to speak about it, and now I can not delay this any longer, not with the army nearing our shores. And so I have to leave, stocked up with arrows, tinder and flint for the cold night and to cook my food. Tasked to patrol the coast line of the moors and report to Plenarius any incoming ships to the shore.

I will how ever leave her a letter, pinned in a envelope on the armoir I have just bought her a week ago. It is up to her to read it. I hope she grows no anger for me leaving this way. Had I had more time, and a chance to speak to her, I would have. I would have loved for her to come with me. I will sorely miss her, her gentleness, her tenderness. *he sighs as the quill leaves a spot of ink* Her choice to read it and come. Her choice not even to read it, which would tell me much. Yes, I have grown doubts as of late, with the little time we have spent together. Doubts that should not be there, as technically there is no promises to one an other. But they are there, lurking.

Folian I beg of you to keep her safe, and myself too, so that I can return to her.

I will warm myself with the fire that I bring, with the training of my Ki, as I will not let this station stop me from training myself. But I will warm myself best, with the memory of her warmth as I held her. Of the smile she gave me, looking up at me in our embraces. This is what will give me the will, the strength to do the best that I can, and do what is asked of me.

It is a treacherous country, filled with trolls, serpents and other beasts, but the worst of them being the swampking patrol. But I will manage, I must. I will have no back up, unless she comes, or that Argali sends some. But Mistone is big, and they are needed else where.

*the rest that follows is in elven, a draft of what is written on the letter*

Sa oilem Wilslaac,

E ammeana ane aey anirela caananam, ane caan aey nleam eo amirilan ela iriltytyalelv. E irilela saan ameanir laesa tyaetyca anirilan ilma emvillejelv anira aooeman ilvilellaan anira estyalwelv elelillaeel eo anira niryc ilmsa illw anira wmilvel nyycanla. Aniraa irilela illanaw sa ane queel el aniraem aooeman illw.., sa wilmcelv, iream E lae amelairaw E nyeycw irilela anilcnaw ane aey faoema irillw, ane anacc aey illw laaa eo amirilan aey amillanaw. Fyan anira anesa irilla tycilaaw ilvilellaan yla, illw E oailm E nyill le celvam amilean el sa wyaneala.

E ils anillanaw ane laymelaa anira cillwla eo anira filanancairacsla seemla lailm elirac. Ane fa laanilaneelaw anirama illw latyean anira wafilmnilaneel eo anira elelilwamla illw matyeman filnyn amiral em eo E laaa illaanirelv. E oailm ean amecc fa il celv amileanelv vilsa oem sa ilan caillaan. Milvelv ilvilellaan anira seemla ellaetyew milel illw nyecwlalala ilan leviran. Sa wilmcelv iream E amecc selala anira amilmsanir eo aeym ilmsla. Anira fmeviranlalala aeym laseca fmeyviran ane sa, amiral E amecc fa waaty el anira wilmnlalala eo anira laamilstyla. E amecc tymila ailnyir wila ane Oeceill illw Ilamewel ane naaty aey lailoa.. sa ceela. Lae anirilan eo fa aniraem fcalalaelv E laireycw nyesa filnyn lailoa illw laeylw, E ameycw oelw nyesoeman el aeym vmilnya elnya ilvilel. Em anirilan fa aniraem samnyeoyc amilala, ama ameycw oelw eymlaacelala elnya ilvilel, faoema anira alw eo anira filananca.

E amelair ane cailela aey nleamelv, anirilan ilcanireyvir anirmeyvir anira aailmla ama irilela faal anevaaniram, ama irilela laaan il tyilnya eo acelala. Sa irailman irilla oilccal oem aeymla silla tyillalaelv eo anira seella ilve. Illw anirilan anirama ela le amemwla anirilan nyeycw veela quylaanenya ane iream aey silna sa oaac illw nyestycaana sa.  E irilela ilcamilala laanetytyaw sa cetyla omes latyailnelv laynyir amemwla ane aey, eo oailm anirilan aniraa ameycw tyylair aey ilamila. Fyan illa E amilcn anirela leviran ane anira celalaesa anillan ilirailw eo sa, E amelair ane cailela il tyeanya eo salaaco, lae anirilan amiral anira anesa nyesala E irilela caoan laesaanirelv amemanir masasfamelv. E amelair aey ane nleam anirilan le tyeas ameycw fa sema failyaneoyc anirill anira analwamlalala ama irilw laireaml ane ailnyir eaniram. Illw lean aelal anira fcillnaan eo anira laanilmla el anira oemsilsalan, femwamla eo anira astyamaill, ameycw lairela illa fmeviran illa anira valanca vceam eo aeym oilnya, laeoanca nyilmalalaaw fa anira wes ceviran eo eym oematycilnya ilan leviran.

E amelair aey ameycw fa anirama ameanir sa, fa sa laewa illa E irilw iretyaw ama ameycw fa oilnyelv eym nyessel oea anevaaniram. Fyan ean ela ameanir irailela irailman anirilan E cailela anira ameewla ane alanam anira wilmn illw wilstyaw cillwla, oilnyelv anira lilaneela amecwla, illw anirelaa anirilan ameycw lean fa omes eym cillwla.

E cailela nleamelv leam, anirilan aey nleam iream sa irailman laanillwla oem aey, laanmileviran illw tyyma, oillaan illw laanailwa ilvilellaan anymseecla. Laanmalvaniral fa sa malaecela ane ela wila fa filnyn el aeym ilmsla. Aey irailman, Oeceill, illw Ilamewel ameccelv.

I ceela aey

Fehriel Cailomel
*A wolf print is drawn under his name, a golden leaf in the middle.*

*Before leaving, he leaves a note to Tabris explaining to him the situation and a will, in case of his untimely demise. The will states that all that he has, was to be given to Azaionna wither it be from what was stored in the chests he used, the furniture in their room, and what he had in his bank account. He signed it as he singed all his other notes.*


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #37 on: March 01, 2009, 07:12:09 am »
Here I am at my post, patrolling the swamps, watching for the enemy boats. Meditating when my tour is done and training on my Ki, as always diligently. Tod found me, not too long after I got here. He was also making tours I think. We camp together, but we search separately to cover more grounds. He is good company, but I think he knows that I was longing for someone else, although he didn't say a word. I just couldn't stop looking at the moons, and thinking of her. And that was only a week after leaving the tree house. Folian must have heard my prayers or something, cause here I was patrolling the swamps that a heavenly figure came towards me. Dressed in white, denoting with the marshiness of the swamps, an angel from the heavens. It was the most beautiful sight I could have ever wanted in this forsaken place.. and any where else really.

At first though when she approached me, she didn't have her usual smile, she didn't call out my name with happiness. She had a thoughtful look on her face, mixed in with worriedness. I blurted out that I wanted to tell her, and she stopped me. What she said next shook my very foundations, taking my breath away. In her native tongue, a pleasure she had yet to grant me, she spoke to me gently.

"Hello my knight.. my.. love. I am gladd to see you unhurt."

I was without words .. almost.. but then she brushed the rain off of my face and greeted me with one tender kiss.

For that moment, the swamps were no where swamps, they were clouds, comfy.. cushionny clouds. I could have staid there all my life, eternity just in that moment, that it would have made me the happiest man of all men. There was still something on her mind though. Even though she officially called me her love, there is still part of her that wishes to move slowly, and I wish to grant her that. The sting came after though, when she said

"I do not with to hurt you. I , I may have spoken rashly. But your words touched me deeply.."

I understand that she has a fear in her, I don't know what it is exactly. Maybe it is a fear of loosing someone she cares about, like she did with her sisterhood. And with my nightmares, I can't blame her. I do have that fear also, although I try to hide it. None the less, even if she joked about having to come to keep me safe, for the good of the kingdom of course. I know she feels more. She came after all, which pushed a lot of my worries away. And this by her own free will, not having asked her to do so.

We slowly crept to our tour after that, teasing each other, stealing a kiss here and there. Falling into the mud and coming back up completely muddied out. Good for the skin at least. We even found a cave filled with trolls. I still think it would be a good place to stage the operations, and I said so to Argali when we stumbled upon her in the swamps. I was happy to present to her Azai.

After a while, drenched, dirty and cold, I guided her to my tree hole. That's where we are now, her in reverie, I writing down my thoughts while I look at her. Tod.. where.. he's somewhere. Pretty sure he is back by now.. but I don't think he want's to intrude just yet.

Thank you Folian.. for you keep finding ways to surprise me.

*Closes his journal and stirs the fire so it heats more, then snuggles against Azai before falling into a restful night without nightmares.*


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #38 on: March 09, 2009, 06:21:01 am »
My training continues. Lately I have had the idea to test my Ki in a way I could actually see the result. It's not much, nothing to really brag about, but I did see it. I had put some water in a glass and a lid over it, set it over a table and stood a few pace behind. It took me a while to do it, doing my thrust and letting my Ki shout out. At first it didn't do anything at all, but at the end, I could see it get stronger. Ripples in the water. I didn't touch the table, my breath couldn't have made the water move, and the floors are solid, so no vibration there. It's a small victory that Kyle will be pleased I am sure. beside that I have been practicing the whirlwind attack a lot and some new combat moves.

Azai and I have been traveling a bit lately, beside our time in the moors, checking out for the enemy ship. We have been taking some time off from time to time, leaving others to replace us. Trips to Dregar, to maintain the delicate balance of the wild life there. Trips to the dragon Ilse too, to put back the werebeast and mongleman back where they belong. It's on one of those trip though, that something Emry said got me thinking a lot.

Azai is still young, she is pretty and fit. But one day the unavoidable will happen. Like Emry, her biological clock will tick, and she will be hit with the urge to have her own little ones running around. Already I saw how she could be with Ido's pseudo dragon.. she was darn cute talking with that baby voice. But then her smile when Emry was telling her how her little josh changed her life and brought her joy. It didn't lie. She too one day will be faced with that urge. It is something I will never be able to give her. As much as I would like, or pray to Folian and Aeridin about it. There is no way around it, I will never be able to provide that joy to her. Eh.. some would say i worry for nothing as we are still taking our time.. like elves do. But sooner or later, it will happen. And what is there to do.. what answers lays behind those questions. None! Emry said that adopting would never be the same as the bond that is forge when it is your own blood. And I understand that perfectly myself, being adopted. She will be face with the same choice Emry had. And depending on how much love there is, or how strong the urge is, I will be face with the same result.

Even Kyle saw it on our last training, asking me what was ailing me. I told him the truth, told him what I had written to Azaionna, of my feelings for her. And I told him about my questions. He just smiled to me and told me not to worry so much. That if the love is true, Ilsare would provide strength to both of us. He himself adopted one of his child, Brittany. He told me that even if she was not of his blood, his love for her was the same as for Cole and Aylana. So I shouldn't worry to much, beside he had other sordid training for me to do, and then he laughed a mischievous ways.. And that he did. I got back to my room so tired.. aching. Hoping that Azai would be there, but alas, she was on one of her trips. I slept like a baby until the parrot woke me up, squeaking for food.

And so I am here, writing this down in front of my meditation fountain, Balance snoring by the bed.. well taking up the space between the bed and the bath is more like it. Who would have thought a bear would sleep indoors.. well it is a tree after all.

What will the future hold.. what will the future hold.


Re: The wind and the leaf
« Reply #39 on: March 14, 2009, 01:05:34 am »
Sometimes I wonder why I even try.

I try to be a friend but get pushed back and basically assaulted. I try to be civilized and let bi guns be bi guns, and that arse keep coming back with more, and then I try not to get grieved by it and let it slide, to keep to my inner balance, but it is not always easy. I try to bring some excitement, some things to see for people, and it back fires with many dying. I wait for people to have a look and voice themselves, and when no one says anything about the item I am looking for, even if I have waited more than enough time I get scowled for picking something that was obviously not claimed by anyone.. She does have a " I am god" complex at time, but then again, we all have our flaws. And I am done trying to understand or even be supportive.

I would have expected an apology from someone but not even.. I might have to much faith in people. Eh! live and learn.

Well, while I was sneaking in Azai pack for food I noticed she had the gloves I was looking to buy her.. guess I did all that work for nothing yet again. Really... it is getting hard to find something nice for her to surprise her with. Now I got a few thousands I have no clue what to do with. Think I'll just go and throw them in a pond or something.

Big groups.. hate them... but then again some times it's fun. I just get uneasy after a while. Well more like suffocated really. If it wasn't for the fact that when ever I try to do something with Azai, we get killed, I would probably not get such big groups together. At least I hope others appreciates it. The last trip I got together was reeaallly huge. I hate trying to organize people, even more so, when after a while they just don't listen. This time though, they pretty much stuck to the plan. Beside the no dying part.

Good thing that some one kept throwing potions at me, but even with that. I am glad to see I stood my ground against at least 4 vampire priest and the bears that was with them, as the other retreated through the zapping trap. I am making progress that is for sure, my stance was more than comfortable, it felt natural.

Now the question is, do I organize more..? if so how big.. or even where..?

// I just want to make it clear that these are the views of Fehriel, not my own.

No one is actually grieving me. I find the tense relationship between Aesthir and Fehriel quite amusing, and I am hoping he does to, at the last news he was. We talk a lot in tells to let each other know when we feel like pushing it or not, and respects the wish of the other when one is not feeling up to it.

So yeah, if you read this, take it for what it is. The thoughts of Fehriel and not something personal.